【省级公开课】读后续写讲评 Honesty Wont Let You Down

读后续写讲评HonestyWon’tLetYouDown

Asad,an_______andhardworkingboy,wasanewcomertotheschoolwithoutfriendsaround.Onedayhewasinsucha________thatheforgottotake______withhim.Asaresult,hehadeitherto_________foodorborrowmoneyfromFahad,anarrogantboywhowasoneoftherichestboysandthoughteveryoneelsewasa_________.

Naturally,Fahad_____________hisrequestandevenlaughedathim,whichmadehim__________(embarrass).Leftaloneonthebenchinfrontofthecanteen,hequite______________spottedawalletonthebench.Heimmediatelyrecognizedit_________toFahad,withalotofmoneyinside.UnderstandingthestoryturneddownhurrymoneygowithoutloserhonestembarrassedaccidentallybelongedUnderlinetheimportantdetailsinthetext.Asadwasa13-year-oldboywhowasveryhonest

andhardworking.Recently,hehadenteredanew

schoolsohehadno

friendsyet,OnMondaymorning,hewasnearlylate

for

school.Thenightbefore,hisfamilyattendedhiscousin’sweddingandreachedhomelate,whichwaswhyhecouldn’t

get

up

on

timeasusual.

Atschool,Asadcouldnotpayattentiontoanythingandwantedthebelltoringsothathecouldbuy

something

to

eat.Afterafewhours,whenthebellrang,Asadquicklyopenedhisschoolbagtofindhismoney,butjustthenherememberedthathehadleftforschoolinahurryinthemorningandforgotten

totakemoney,Helookedunderhisbooks,hopingtofindsomemoneybuttherewasnothing.

Notknowingwhattodo,hewalkedoutoftheclassroomandsatonabenchinfrontofthecanteen.Hesawafewofhisclassmatesthere,amongthemwasFahad.Hewasoneoftherichest

kidsinhisclassbuthewasaveryarrogantboywhothoughteveryoneelsewasaloser.ButasAsadwasnew,hedidn’tknowmuchaboutFahad.

WhenhewenttowardsFahadandaskedifhecouldborrowsomemoneyforhislunch,Fahadlaughed

alotandsaid,“Iknewyouwerealoser,maybeabeggar?"Fahadlaughedoutsoloudthatotherkidsalsoheardandmadefunofthesituation.Hedidn’tanswerFahad,andslowlywalkedbacktowardsanempty

bench.ReadingWhenhereachedthebench,henoticedsomethinglyingnearit.Itwasawallet.Hepickeditup

andrecognizeditasFahad's,asherememberedFahadshowingittohisfriendsandtellingthathisuncleboughtitforhimfromtheUK.Therewasquitealotofmoneyinsideforakid.

Para1:Atfirst,AsadwantedtoKeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.

______________________________________________________________________________

Para2:ThenFahadsaid,“Whyareyougivingitback?”______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ReadingReading

problem---solution---problem---solution---problem---solutionUnderstandingthestoryStorylineEmotionlineStorylinenew,nofriends,nomoneyborrow…fromFahadFrefusedtherequest,laughatSpottedF’swalletWhattodowiththewallet？lonely,helplesshopefulunhappy,embarrassedexcitedtorn？Echotheimportantdetailsinyourwriting.

Para1:Atfirst,Asadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunished

Fahad.

Para2:ThenFahadsaid,“Whyareyougivingitback?!”Whatinformationcanyougetfromthegivensentences?WhathappenedbeforeFahadaskedthequestion?1.DidAsadchangehismindatthelastminute?Whatmadehimchangehismind?2.Whatwashisnewidea?3.HowdidhegivebackthewalletandwhatwasFahad’sreaction?1.HowdidAsadexplainthewholething?Andhowdidhefeel?2.DidFahadbelievehisexplanation?Andwhatdidhedo?3.Asad’sreflections./Whatdidtheyeachlearnfromtheincident?Threeconnectionsandonecoda点1:位于续写第一段段首，流畅衔接前面的记叙文和第一段段首语：点2:位于续写第一段段尾，流畅衔接第二段段首语：点3:位于续写第二段段首，续写衔接第二段段首语；点4:文章结尾升华，给予读者正能量，揭示和强调剧情的寓意。Makeadraft:Threeconnectionsandonecoda(Payattentiontowordchoice)续写参考思路：

Paragraph1:Atfirst,AsadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.思路1：我内心纠结

---做诚实的人这一信念让我做出归还的决定---我追上去，归还钱包---

Fahad不解地拿了回去；

思路2：我想看他出丑，作为对我嘲笑的报复---理智（做个诚实人）让我把钱包还给他。

Paragraph2:ThenFahadsaid,"Whyareyougivingitback?"思路1：我解释了我内心的想法----被触动，他对我表示感谢，对所有人表示歉意---请我们吃午餐，成为好朋友

---诚实让我收获了友谊和信任；思路2：Fahad怀疑我的动机---我解释原因---借我钱，成了好朋友–反思：honesty伴我同行。

Soembarrassedwashethathestoodthereclumsily,feelingtheblood

rushtohisface.Helowered

hisbody,hesitatedforamoment,wonderinghowtohidehisinner

embarrassment.Heopenedhermouth,his

face

turning

red.Alltheairseemedtodisappearandhefelt

as

ifthewholeworldwerewatchinghim.Languageaccumulation--embarrassment

AninnervoiceaskedmetobuythepairofbootsIliked,butanothervoicecameintomymind,urgingmetobuysomedecorationsandfeastsforthefamily.

Feelingquitetornbetween....And....,

Icouldhardlymakethedecision.Languageaccumulation–纠结Honest---Beinghonest--Honesty

Asadcongratulatedhimselfonmakingtherightdecision,makingtheschoollifeaheadnolongerlonely.Thebelief“Beinghonestwon’tletyoudown”willstickwithhimthroughthetoughdaysahead.

Asadscratchedhishead,notknowinghowtorespondtoFahad’sapologies,butheknewhewas,hasbeenandwillbehonest.

MakeagoodendingA.Message点睛式：

Beinghonestnotonlyhelpedhimgainothers’trustbutalsomadenewfriendsinthisnewschool，anewchapterof

lifebeginningtounfoldbeforehim.

MakeagoodendingB.环境描写烘托式：

Bathedinthewarmnoonsunshine,Asadcouldn’thelpsmiling,gladthathissimplehonestywasrewardedwithsuchalargecircleofnicefriends!

Moreexamples:

Outsidethewindow,thebirdsperchedonthetopofthebranchessinging

happily,asifcelebratingmywisechoice.

MakeagoodendingC.展望将来式：

Withmorefriendsaround,Asadwasconvincedthatanewlifewaswaitingforhimtoexplore.

MakeagoodendingD.回首反思式：

Lookingback,Asadcongratulatedhimselfonmakingtherightdecision,whichhelpedhimturnoverachapteroflife.

MakeagoodendingE.自然过程式：Bybeinghonestandsayingthetruth,notonlydidAsadgetsomemoneytobuylunchwhenFahadlenthimsome,buthewasalsoabletomakenewfriends.Ontheotherhand,Fahad’slifechanged,allhisprideandselfishnesswentawayandhelearnedanimportantlesson,that“Honestywon’tletyoudown.”MakeagoodendingAtfirst,AsadwantedtokeepitasecretandpunishedFahad.Atleasthecouldaffordthelunchnow.However,anothervoicepoppedup,urginghimtogiveitbacktoFahad,whichmadehimfeeltorn.“Ishouldneverkeepthewalletatthecostofmyhonesty,andFahadwouldbeextremelyembarrassedwithoutanymoneyinthepresenceofsomanyclassmates!”Asadconvincedhimself.Oncehemadeuphismind,heacceleratedhispaceandcaughthimup.“Fahad,it’syourwalletandIfounditonthebench.”Takingoverthewallet,FahadstaredintoAsad’seyeswithapuzzledlookwritten