Unit-11-Open-the-Door-to-Forgiveness课文翻译综合教程二

Unit11OpentheDoortoForgivenessLewisB.SmedesIt’ssurgeryofthesoul,theloving,healingwaytocreatenewbeginningsoutofpastpain.Someonehurtyou,maybeyesterday,maybelongago,andyoucannotforgetit.Youdidnotdeservethehurtandithaslodgeditselfinyourmemory,whereitkeepsonhurting.Youarenotalone.Weallmuddleourwaythroughaworldwhereevenwell-meaningpeoplehurtoneanother.Afriendbetraysus;aparentabusesus;aspouseleavesus.PhilosopherHannahArendtbelievesthattheonlypowerthatcanstopthestreamofpainfulmemoriesisthe“facultyofforgiving”.Inthatspirit,oneDecemberdayin1983,PopeJohnPaulIIwalkedintoacellofRebibbiaprisonoutsideRometomeetMehmetAliAgca.ThePopetookthehandofthemanwhohadtriedtokillhim,andforgavehim.Formostofus,however,itisnoteasytoforgive.Forgivingseemsalmostunnatural.Oursenseoffairnesstellsusthatpeopleshouldpayforthewrongtheydo.Butinforgivingwecanmovefromhurtingandhatingtohealingandreconciliation.Hateisournaturalresponsetodeepandunfairhurts.Awomanwishesherformerhusbandwouldbemiserablewithhisnewwife.Amanwhosefriendhasbetrayedhimhopesthefriendwillbefiredfromhisjob.Hateisamalignancythatfestersandgrows,stiflingjoyandthreateningourhealth.Ithurtsthehatermorethanthehated.Itmustbecutout—forourownsake.Howcanthisbedone?Howcanyouletgoofahurt,thewayachildopenshishandsandfreesatrappedbutterfly?Hereareguidelinestohelpyoubegintoforgive:Confrontyourmalice.Noneofuswantstoadmitthatwehatesomeone,sowehideitfromourselves.Butthefurydeniedragesbeneaththesurfaceandinfectsallourrelationships.Admittingourhatecompelsustomakeadecisionaboutthesurgeryofthesoulwecallforgiving.Wemustacknowledgewhathashappened,faceuptotheotherpersonandsay:“Youdidmewrong.”LizwasanassistantprofessorofbiologyatauniversityinCalifornia.Shewasagoodteacher,andthechairmanofherdepartmentpromisedtoaskthedeantopromoteher.Instead,hisreportwassocriticalofherperformancethatthedeanadvisedhertolookforanotherjob.Lizhatedthechairmanforbetrayingher,butsheneededarecommendationfromhim.Whenhesaidhowsorryhewasthathissupportcouldnotconvincethedean,shepretendedtobelievehim.Butshecouldnotkeepuptheduplicity.Onedaysheconfrontedhim.HisembarrasseddenialenabledLiztoseehimfortheweakpersonhewas.Shebegantofeelthepowersheneededtoforgivehimand,inherdecisiontodoso,wassetfreeofherhate.Separatethewrongdoerfromthewrong.TheBibledescribes,intheancientdramaofatonement,howGodtookabundleofhumansinsoffman’sback,tiedittoagoat,andsentthe“scapegoat”toa“solitaryland”.Forgivingisfindinganewvisionofthepersonwhohaswrongedus,thepersonstrippedofhissins—whoreallylivesbeneaththecloakofhiswrongdoing.Thefirstgiftwegetwhenweseparatethewrongfromthewrongdoerisinsight.Aswecometoseethedeepertruthaboutpeople—thattheyarefallible—ourfeelingschange.At16myadopteddaughter,Cathy,wasahotheadwhobitterlyresentedhernaturalmotherforgivingheraway.Whyhadshenotbeenworthkeeping?Thenshefoundoutthatherparentshadbeenveryyoungandpoorandnotmarried.Aboutthistime,oneofCathy’sfriendsbecamepregnantand,infearanddoubt,gaveupherbabyforadoption.Cathysharedherfriend’sconflict,andwassureherdecisionhadbeenright.Graduallyshecametofeelthatherownmother,too,haddonetherightthing—shehadgivenherbabyawaybecauseshelovedhertoomuchtokeepher.Cathy’snewunderstandingbroughtherresentmentdowntoforgivingsize.Letgoofthepast.Afriendofmine,abeautifulactress,wasleftcrippledbyacaraccidentafewyearsago.Herhusbandstayedwithheruntilshehadpartiallyrecovered.Then,coldly,helefther.Shecouldhavemortgagedherfuturetohate.Instead,sheforgaveherhusbandandwishedhimwell.Iwasskeptical.“Supposehemarriedasexyyoungstarlet.Wouldyouwishhimtobehappywithher?”“Yes,Iwould,”sheanswered.Thisdoesnotmeanmyfriendhasentirelyforgottenthehurt.Infact,forgettingtoosoonmaybeadangerouswaytoescapeforgiving’sinnersurgeries.Oncewehaveforgiven,however,forgettingisasignofhealth.Wecanforget,eventually,becausewearehealed.Don’tgiveuponforgiveness—keepworkingatit.Asaboy,theBritishscholarC.S.Lewiswasbadlyhurtbyabullyofateacher.Formostofhislifehecouldnotforgivetheteacherandthistroubledhim.Butnotlongbeforehedied,hewrotetoafriend:“Onlyafewweeksago,IrealizedsuddenlythatIhadatlastforgiventhecruelschoolmasterwhosodarkenedmychildhood.I’dbeentryingtodoitforyears,andeachtimeIthoughtI’ddoneit,Ifoundithadtobeattemptedagain.ButthistimeIfeelsureitistherealthing.”Thehatehabitishardtobreak.Weusuallybreakitmanytimesbeforewefinallygetridofit.Andthedeeperthehurt,thelongeritcantake.Butslowlyithappens.Persuasiveargumentshavebeenmadeagainstforgiving.Somesaythatforgivenessisunjustbecausethewrongdoershouldnotbeletoffthehook.Otherssayforgivenessisasignofweakness.BernardShawcalledit“abeggar’srefuge”.Idisagree.Vengeanceneverevensthescore.Ittiesboththeinjuredandtheinjurertoan如何能做到消除仇恨呢？你如何做到忘却伤害，就像孩子松开双手，放走一只刚抓到的蝴蝶呢？如下几条原则可以助你开始做到宽恕他人：直面你的怨意。没有人会承认自己仇恨某人，因此，我们都把仇恨藏在心底。但这种深藏的怒火在我们心底燃烧，感染着我们的人际关系。承认心中所藏的仇恨，可促使我们决定对称之为“宽恕”的心灵做一次外科手术。我们必须承认既成的事实，勇敢地面对对方，说出：“你对不住我了！”莉斯是加州某大学的生物学助理教授。她是一位好老师，她所在系的主任许诺要让学院院长提拔她。不料，系主任的报告中对她的业绩十分挑剔，院长看后要她自己另谋出路。莉斯对系主任的背叛痛恨不已，但需要他写一封推荐信。系主任说他的支持性意见没能打动院长，因此他很抱歉，莉斯装作相信了他。但她无法一直口是心非地装下去。一天，她找他当面理论。他尴尬地否认了，不过，莉斯由此看清了他的虚弱无能。她开始感到自己拥有了足够的力量来宽恕他，而且，做出了宽恕他的决定后，她心中的恨意也就烟消云散了。区别对待犯错之人与错事。《圣经》中记载了古代的赎罪情节中，上帝从人类的脊背上集拢了一大捆罪恶，绑到了羊的身上，然后把这只“替罪羊”遣送到一个“荒无人烟的地方”。宽恕，就是找到一个新的视角看待那个曾经错待我们的人，那个与他所犯罪过剥离的人——实际上，他是生活在他以往过失的外衣之下。一旦区分了错事与犯错之人，我们便获得了一项首要的天赋——洞察力。随着我们看到人们更深层的本性——无人能不犯错，我们的感觉也就改变了。我的养女凯茜16岁时还是经常头脑发热，对把她送掉的亲生母亲恨之入骨：为什么她不能留着自己养呢？后来她发现自己的父母亲当时太年轻、太贫穷，而且没有结婚。大约就在这一段时间，凯茜的一个朋友怀孕了，在恐惧和迟疑中，决定把孩子送人领养。凯茜与她的朋友一同体验了这段感情冲突，认为朋友的决定是正确的。渐渐地，她开始觉得自己的母亲当时的决定也没错——她把孩子送给别人，是因为很爱孩子，无法自己留着。凯茜的新见解把心中的怨恨减弱到了一个可宽恕的程度。忘掉过去。我的一个朋友，是一位美丽的女演员，几年前因为车祸瘸了腿。她丈夫与她一起生活到了她部分康复的时候。然后，他冷酷地离开了她。或许，她该从此以怨恨为生了。然而，她宽恕了自己的丈夫，并致以良好的祝愿。我有些不敢相信，问她：“假如他再娶一个年轻、性感的小明星，你还会祝愿他们幸福吗？”“是的，我会的。”她回答道。这并不意味着我的朋友已经完全忘却了所受的伤害。其实，忘却太快，可能是逃避宽恕这一内心外科手术的一种危险途径。不过，一旦我们宽恕人家了，忘却就成了健康的信号。我们最终能够忘却，就是因为我们已经走出了困境。决勿放弃宽恕——不断为之努力。英国学者C·S·刘易斯因在儿童时代被一名老师凌辱而深受伤害。他大半生以来都无法宽恕这名老师，这让他深感烦恼。在他去世前不久，他写信给朋友说：“就在几周前，我突然意识到，对于那位曾经让我的童年充满黑暗的老师，我终于能宽恕他了。多年来，我一直竭力想宽恕他，而且每次我以为