恋爱中的你必备10个实用的情感小贴士

恋爱中的你必备：10个实用的情感小贴士10个情感小贴士Havingrecentlycelebratedourfirstweddinganniversary,IwantedtolearnhowmyhusbandandIcouldhelpimmunizeourselvesfromfuturestrainsandstressesonourmarriage.Sinceweinheritmostofourconceptionsofmarriagefromourfamilies,peersandsocialgroups,IwasdrawntoTaraParker-Pope'sscientificexplorationofrelationshipsinForBetter:TheScienceofaGoodMarriage.Afterher17-yearmarriageended,theNewYorkTimesWellBlogcolumnistParker-Popesoughtanobjective,fact-basedunderstandingofwhatwentwronginherownrelationship.Whetheryouthinkofyoursignificantotherasyoursoulmate,lifepartner,husbandorwife,Parker-Popeoffersinsightstohelpyoustrengthenmostprofoundrelationshipinfe最近我和丈夫刚刚庆祝了第一个结婚周年纪念日，我想学习一下我们如何才能避免未来婚姻中的磕磕绊绊。由于我们大多数有关婚姻的观点都继承自我们家人、同辈朋友和社会群体，因此当我最近读到塔拉·帕克·蒲伯的《期待更好：幸福婚姻的科学》一书时，我被书中对婚姻关系的科学探索所吸引。在结束了17年的婚姻之后，这位《纽约时报》的博客专栏作家开始寻找对于自身恋爱关系中的问题的客观有事实根据的理解。不论你对你的灵魂伴侣、生活搭档还是丈夫或妻子，这些重要的另一半怎么看，帕克·蒲伯所提供的深刻见解都能帮助你增强生活中最深远的那层关系。Ifyouareinanewandthrivingmarriage,afulfillingpartnershipofmanyyears,orevaluatingwhetheryouwanttotakethenextstep,Parker-Pope'stipsfrom"ForBetter"willhelpyoumaintain,boosterorrekindletherelationshipbliss:不论你是正享受甜蜜的新婚，还是经营了多年的幸福婚姻，抑或正在盘算是否要进行下一步，那么帕克·蒲伯在本书中提供的小贴士会帮助你维持、增进或者重新点燃你的幸福爱情。Celebratethesmall。庆祝点滴小事。"It'snotenoughthatyourpartnerknowsthatyoutakeprideinherorheraccomplishments.Youhaveto showit.Makingafussoverthesmall,goodthingsthathappeneverydaycanboostthehealthofyourmarriage."“如果你的伴侣只知道你为她或者她的才能而骄傲，这还不够。你必须将此表现出来。多挖掘每天发生的微小的美好的事情，这会促进婚姻的健康发展。”Learnhowtofight。学会如何有效地争吵。"Thekeytofightingproductivelyistorecognizewhenadisagreementisgoinginthewrongdirectionandtotakestepstocalmthingsdownandrepairrifts."“有效争吵的关键在于，认识到争论是在何时偏离了方向，并且采取措施让事情平静下来并修复分歧。”Silenceisnotgolden。沉默并非是金。"Bystayingquietandavoidingconflictwhenthingsbotheredthem,theyhadmissedimportantopportunitiestocultivateandgrowtheirrelationship."“如果出现困扰时仍保持安静、避免冲突，那么他们就失去了滋养感情和增进感情的重要机会。”Don'tputnegativethoughtsintotheuniverse。不要总是有消极想法。"Menandwomenwhohadponderedthoughtsofdivorcein1980wereninetimesmorelikelytohavegottendivorcedbytheendofthestudy."“1980年开始的一项研究中，曾有过离婚想法9Plan。一起计划。"Coupleswhoplannedababy'sarrivalorwhowereequallyjoyousatbecomingparentswerefarmorelikelytomaintaintheirmaritalhappinessorevenenjoyanincreaseafterthebabywasborn."“计划生育宝宝或是同样满足于为人父母的夫妻更易保持婚姻幸福，有的在宝宝出生后婚姻幸福感得到了提升。”Maintainacircleoffriendsandsupport。维持朋友圈和给予支持。"Strongfriendshipsoutside the marriage can takethepressureoffyourrelationship,helpyouworkthingsoutawayfromyourspouse,andultimatelyprotectyourmarriagefromunnecessarystressanddiscord."“婚姻之外牢固的友谊能减轻你因爱情所承受的压力，帮助你在不依靠伴侣的情况下解决问题，最终保护你的婚姻免受不必要的压力与不和。”Overcompensateformistakes"Domarriagemath.Evenwhenyoumakeamistake,tellyourselfthatyou'regoingtodoatleastfivepositivethingsforyourspousetomakeupforit,andthendothem.Anddon'twaituntilyoubickertoturnonthecharm.Nicegesturesandcommentsgofarinamarriage,theyareeasytodo,andtheywillhelp insulate your marriage from being damaged by theinevitablebaddays."“做一下这道关于婚姻的数学题。当你犯了错误，告诉自己你要对伴侣做至少5件积极的事情来补偿，然后照做。不要等到你们发生了口角才来展现你的魅力。优美的姿态和言语在婚姻中十分奏效，这很容易做到，它们还有助于使你的婚姻免遭不可避免的坏情绪日子的侵害。”Setthemarriagebar。设高婚姻的门槛。"Husbandsandwiveswhoholdtheirpartnerstoareasonablyhighstandardhavebettermarriages.Ifyouexpectabetter,moresatisfyingrelationship,youimproveyourchancesofhavingone."“将伴侣的档次提升到合理高度的夫妻会有更幸福的婚姻。如果你期望有一段更美好、更令自己满意的婚姻关系，那么你就要提升拥有它的可能性。”Giveita。给婚姻适当的空间。"Sometimes,improvingyourmarriagemeansgivingitabreak.Increasingyourconnectionswithfamily,friendsandsocietyisgoodforyourmarriage."“有时候，改善婚姻质量意味着给它一些空间。增加你跟家人、朋友和社会的联系对婚姻有好