托福作文写作范文详解impro

托福作文写作范文详解Ingeneral,peoplearelivinglongernow.Discussthecausesofthisphenomenon.Usespecificreasonsanddetailstodevelopyouressay..题目翻译：讨论人们现在长寿的原因。.审题关键词:Livinglonger;Lifestyle.论证分析:正:Thefirstreasonisduetothemiraclesofmodernmedicine.正：Asecondreasonwhypeoplearelivinglongernowisduetotheincreasingawarenessoftheimportanceandneedtotakebettercareofthemselvesandtheirhealth.正:Thethirdreasonisthatwenowhavemorewaystoenjoythebeautyoflife.范文:Todaypeoplearelivingtobemucholderthaneverbefore.Someofthemainreasonsforthisaretheimprovedhealthcareandbetternutritionavailabletoeveryone.此段结构本段是一个分总的结构。首先第一句话提供了要讨论的背景，引出了要讨论的话题。那么接下来第二句话摆明了作者对此的观点，即人们生活的更长是因为他们更加健康而且摄入了更多营养。此段功能本段是文章的首段，引出了要讨论的问题和作者对此的观点看法。MedicalcareismoreavailabletopeoplenowthaninthepastAlthoughnoteveryonecangetthebesthealthcare,everyonecangetbasicheathcareandadvice.Whenpeopleareseriouslyill,theycangotoapublichospitalandreceivetreatment.Yearsago,healthcarewasn'tavailabletoeveryone.Somepeopledidn'tlivenearadoctororahospital,andotherscouldn'tpayforthecaretheyneeded.Theymadedowithherbalmedicinesorfolkremedies.Ofcourse,someoftheseworked,butnotforthemoreseriousdiseases.Thequalityofmedicalcarehasimproved.That'salsoafactorinlongevity.Doctorsknowmorenowaboutwhatcausesdiseaseandhowtotreatthem.,Yearsago,doctorsonlyknewaboutthemostbasicdiseasesandcures.Medicinewasnotveryadvanced.Youcoulddiefromsomethingassimpleasaninfectionfromacut.Nowwehaveantibioticsandothermedicinestohelpcureinfections.此段结构本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨，些了现在的医疗更加发达了。第二句话是一个让步。第三句话对论点进行了假设分析。后面将现在的医疗情况不多年以前的医疗情况进行了对比，凸显了现在医疗水平的进步。本文可以分为多个层次，每一个层次都是从开同面的今昔对比。此段功能本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，写了支持作者立场的第一个分论点。Peoplearealsolivinglongernowbecauseofbetternutrition.We'reeatingbetterandmorehealthfullythanweusedto.Thishasreducedthenumberofpeoplewithheartdiseaseandcancer.Wetrytoeatlow-fatfoodsandeatmorevegetableandfruitswhicharenowavailableyear-round.此段结构本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面对主旨进行了简要分析。结构比较简单，没有分层。此段功能本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。Improvedmedicalcareandhealthyeatinghabitshasgreatlyextendedourlifespans.Whatweneedtodonowismakesurethateveryoneintheworldhasthesebenefits.此段结构本段是只有两句话，第一句话承接了上文，对上文的叙述进行了总结。第二句话呼吁人们都享受到这样的生活进步带来的benefit此段功能本段是文章的尾段，承接上文，对上文进行了总结，开重申了论点。满分因素剖析一、语言表达不其他满分作文相比，本文语言略显平淡。开过几乎没有语法错误和逻辑错误，语言明了，文章清晰易懂。在托福写作中，有些同学刻意去使用一些自己从未使用过的高难词汇，长难句型，往往出现很多错误，而且词开达意，从而得到很低的分数。因此，那些在写作方面没有很多积累的同学，可以学习这篇文章的写法。Wetrytoeatlow-fatfoodsandeatmorevegetableandfruitswhicharenowavailableyear-round.止匕句Improvedmedicalcareandhealthyeatinghabitshasgreatlyextendedourlifespans.此句中