论著写作-20140316课件

1、生物医学英文论著写作医学英文论著写作（绍兴班）日程2014年8月2日（星期六）上午 写作一般要求；单词；句子； 段落结构8月2日（星期六）下午 题目、摘要；正文写作要点8月2日晚上 练习8月3日（星期日）上午 正文写作要点；练习辅导8月3日（星期日）下午 考试（下午的考试移到中午）一、研究与论著1、论著在研究中的位置论著是整个科学研究工作的重要组成部分，既是一个研究过程的终点，也是下一个研究的起点。研究立题研究设计论著写作做什么？创新性、重要性怎么做？合理性、严谨性怎么阐述研究全貌？问题为中心、清楚研究结果反 思文献检索、阅读、引用一、研究与论著2、论著应当清楚地反映研究要素研究由3项基本要素

2、组成： 处理因素 试验对象 试验效应作为研究的重要组成部份，论著中要准确反映研究的基本特征，就必须在各部分写作中准确反映3项基本要素。二、论著的内在要素：科学内涵和表达形式1. 科学内涵（科学价值）创新性，重要性，合理性这些特征主要取决于前期的研究工作，但是，写作中应充分反映这些价值。2. 表达形式（写作技巧）写作内容围绕所研究的问题，写作技巧在于清楚的写作（即不会使读者误解或不理解）二、论著的内在要素：科学内涵和表达形式需要掌握论著写作和语言表达两方面技巧生物医学论著写作，包括论著写作的基本技巧以及用中文或英文准确表述的语言技巧。用英文写作论著对于非英语国家的人来说，存在着语言障碍，要学会准

3、确使用英文。在阅读英文文献时要注意英文表达方式，逐渐积累形成语感，摆脱中文写作习惯的干扰基本构成及其要点单词选择：根据语言习惯 符合学术规范 准确反映研究特点句子结构：根据语法规律排列单词 准确反映主题及信息 简单、直截了当段落结构：根据主题要求排列句子 采用主题句+支持句的组织形式 保持句子之间的紧密联系 突出重点信息单词选择原则 A. 准确（precise） B. 简单（simple） C. 必要（necessary） D. 熟悉（familiar） E. 区别相似而不相同的单词1、单词选择（word choice）1. 准确（precise） 描述事物特点采用最切合的单词，避免用一些不明

4、确的单词。1、单词选择（word choice）Example Animals were studied in utero 4-9 weeks later.Example The short-circuit current remained increased for several hours.1、单词选择（word choice）Example The change in short-circuit current produced by 10-5 M major basic protein was 85% of the maximal response to isoproterenol.

5、 A higher concentration of major basic protein would therefore probably have produced only a minimal further increase in the short-circuit current.1、单词选择（word choice）2. 简单（simple） 论著中用的单词（尤其是非专业用语）应尽可能简单，要用常用词汇，不要用冷僻词汇。1、单词选择（word choice）Example All heat-stable materials utilized in the isolation an

6、d processing of solution to be injected into mice were sterilized prior to use.Revision All heat-stable materials used in the isolation and processing of solution to be injected into mice were sterilized before use.1、单词选择（word choice）Example The Doppler signal displayed continuous, low-frequency blo

7、od flow that was directed hepatopatally.Revision The Doppler signal displayed continuous, low-frequency blood flow that was directed toward the liver.1、单词选择（word choice）3. 必要（necessary） 省略不重要的重复或无意义的词汇，保留句子中明确说明信息的词汇。Example After 4 h of hemodialysis, we abruptly ended the hemodialysis procedure.Exa

8、mple Oxygen uptake in response to drugs was examined and found to vary considerably.1、单词选择（word choice）4. 熟悉（familiar） 选用读者均熟悉的词汇。专业词汇要符合规范，面向非本专业的读者应对专业性强的术语作必要的说明解释，或改用能普遍接受的词汇。注意：不自造单词（no invented words） 不用难懂的单词（no jargon） 尽量少用缩写词（few if any abbreviations）1、单词选择（word choice）A. 不自造单词Example We stu

9、died the effect of clonidine on the hindleg reflexes of the spinalized rat. 1、单词选择（word choice）Example After cutdowns of a femoral artery and vein, we removed the left fourth to eighth ribs.Revision 1 After inserting catheters into a femoral artery and vein, we removed the left fourth to eighth ribs

10、.Revision 2 After surgical cannulation of a femoral artery and vein, we removed the left fourth to eighth ribs.1、单词选择（word choice）C. 尽量少用缩写词 This study measured the responses of forearm blood flow (FBF) and forearm vascular resistance (FVR) after isometric handgrip exercise (IHE) and related them to

11、 plasma norepinephrine (NE) and epinephrine (E) in 12 normotensives (N) and 14 primary hypertensives (PH). IHE was performed at 30% of maximum voluntary contraction using a calibrated dynamometer. Systolic blood pressure (SBP), diastolic blood pressure (DBP), heart rate (HR), FBF, FVR, NE, and E wer

12、e measured in the resting arm before and after IHE. Pre-exercise SBP and DBP were higher in PH than in N. FVR was similar in PH and N. FBF was higher in PH compared to other matched normotensives. 1、单词选择（word choice）缩写词的种类缩写词可分为：标准（standard，可自由采用）: DNA， cAMP，AIDS ，mg , h , m , s半标准（semi-standard，在专业

13、期刊可自由 采用）: FEV1 ， TLC (total lung capacity)非标准（non-standard，尽量避免）: Group A, IHE (isometric handgrip exercise) 1、单词选择（word choice）什么情况下用缩写词A. 词汇过长或特别难读B. 单词或词组在论文中反复出现许多次C. 下述情况也采用缩写词：化学结构式；数学公式；计量单位；表格中的变量表示（如表格空间不够）等D. 在论文题目中一般不用缩写词1、单词选择（word choice）5. 区别相似而不相同的单词注意单词之间的微妙差别，这对于准确表达事物往往至关重要。 1、单词选

14、择（word choice）句子是写作中需要掌握的第二个层次的技术，包含许多语法规律，也包含从专业角度考虑如何清楚地阐明事物的要求。论著中，句子有一个主题（主语）并传达信息（动词） ，其最重要和最基本的要求是： 简单（simple） 直截了当（direct）。2、句子结构（sentence structure）写好句子的要点 A. 句子核心内容（主题和信息）的表达 B. 避免名词堆砌 C. 提倡写短句 D. 代词的先行词应当明确 E. 对逻辑关系上平行的内容采用并列句型 F. 避免语法错误2、句子结构（sentence structure）1. 句子核心内容的表达 句子的主题（一件什么事）用主

15、语（名词）表示 句子的信息（是怎样的事，包含行为、动作）用动词表示2、句子结构（sentence structure）(1) 用主语表达句子的主题Example The patient showed no change in symptoms.Revision 1 The patients symptoms did not change.Revision 2 The patients symptoms were unchanged.2、句子结构（sentence structure）(2) 用动词表达句子的行为、动作A. 不适当地用主语表达句子的行为、动作等Example An increas

16、e in heart rate occurred.Revision Heart rate increased.Example A progressive decrease in the death rate occurred.Revision The death rate decreased progressively.2、句子结构（sentence structure）B. 不适当地用宾语表达句子的行为、动作Example The new drug caused a decrease in heart rate. Revision The new drug decreased heart r

17、ate.Example We made at least two analyses on each specimen.Revision We analyzed each specimen at least twice.2、句子结构（sentence structure）2. 避免名词堆砌 三个或更多的名词并列在一起，会造成单词之间关系不清楚。因此，应当采用适当的形式，解开名词的缠结，使每一个名词的意义都能清楚地表达。形容词放在名词词组前，也需要拆开名词词组，使形容词与被修饰的名词放在一起。2、句子结构（sentence structure）Example filament length var

18、iabilityRevision variability of filament lengthExample air spaces phospholipid poolRevision phospholipid pool in the air spaces (or: pool of phospholipids in the air spaces)2、句子结构（sentence structure）形容词加入到名词词组Example chronic sheep experimentsRevision chronic experiments in sheepExample peripheral ch

19、emoreceptor stimulationRevision stimulation of the peripheral chemoreceptors2、句子结构（sentence structure）3. 提倡写短句 一个句子不宜包含过多的内容，否则多种概念、意义的关系不容易被读者很快理解。提倡每一句子只陈述一个事物，使每一句子的平均长度控制在22个单词左右。越是难理解的复杂内容，越要用短句来叙述，将复杂事物分解成简单的单元，便于读者容易读懂。2、句子结构（sentence structure）Example (47 words) To study the mechanisms invol

20、ved in the beneficial effects of hydralazine on ventricular function in patients who have chronic aortic insufficiency, a radionuclide assessment of ventricular function was performed in 15 patients with pure aortic insufficiency, functional capacity I or II, at rest and during supine exercise.2、句子结

21、构（sentence structure）Revision Our aim was to assess the mechanisms involved in the beneficial effects of hydralazine on ventricular function in patients who have chronic aortic insufficiency. For this assessment, we did a radionuclide study of ventricular function in 15 patients at rest and during s

22、upine exercise. All patients had pure aortic insufficiency and were in functional capacity I or II.2、句子结构（sentence structure）5. 对逻辑关系上平行的内容采用并列句型 如两种或多种需要表达的意义有内在的逻辑关系，则应当采用并列句型表达。 两个句子之间的并列关系可用配对句表示 三个或更多的句子的并列关系可用系列句表示配对句和系列句中每个句子的结构形式一致，使用相应的连接词，可使各句之间的关系更加清楚，阅读更加顺利。2、句子结构（sentence structure）(1)

23、配对（pairs）对比（contrast）指存在差异的两个事物: Cardiac output decreased by 10% BUT blood pressure was unchanged.相似（similarity）相似是指性质相类似的两个事物: We hoped to increase the complete response AND to improve survival.选择（alternative）指两个事物中做出选择: In dogs, about 20% of plasma glucose carbon is recycled via tricarbon compound

24、s EITHER in cold OR at neutral ambient temperature.比较（comparison）指两个事物之间变化程度或其它性质上的差异: Pulmonary blood flow WAS always GREATER THAN renal blood flow.2、句子结构（sentence structure）2、句子结构（sentence structure）（2）系列（series）在系列句中，平行的方式与配对句时一样，所有平行句的句型（结构、单词类型等）应当相同。We washed out the lungs five times with Solu

25、tion I, instilled 8-10 ml of the fluorocarbon-albumin emulsion into the trachea, and incubated the lungs in 154 mM NaCl at 37C for 20 min.6. 避免语法错误 汉语语法错误需要避免；英语与汉语有较大的语言差异，因此更应加以注意并避免。中国研究者在论著写作中常常犯各种语法错误，有些错误多加注意可以避免；有些错误或习惯写法则较难意识到，需要平时注意文献中句子的表达方式，或请英语为母语的专家指点。2、句子结构（sentence structure）段落是写作中需要掌

26、握的第三个层次的技术，属于较大结构的写作技巧，其要点常常与中文论著写作相同。段落由多个句子排列组合而成，阐述一个相对完整的事项，需要注意掌握合理的段落结构、保证良好的连贯性及做到重点突出。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）1. 段落的组织结构 在可能的情况下，段落应当由主题句和支持句构成。主题句陈述段落的主题或主要信息，一般应放在段落开始的位置，使读者在一开始就明白该段落将阐述的内容。支持句合乎逻辑地对段落主题各个方面作出详细的说明、论证。即：先建立期待，然后去满足它这样，读者既能马上知道段落阐述的要点，又能在随后的句子中知道相应的细节。3、段落结构（paragraph s

27、tructure）Example 1 There are three different theories put forward for the very slow relaxation of catch muscles of molluscs. One theory holds that catch is due to some unusual property of myosin in these muscles that produces a slow rate of detachment (12). In this theory, paramyosin would have no s

28、pecial role beyond that of providing the long scaffolding on which the myosin is positioned as well as the mechanical strength for the large tensions developed. The second theory holds that tension is developed by actin-myosin interaction but is maintained by paramyosin interactions (13,14). Because

29、 the thick filaments are of limited length, interaction would have to occur through fusion of thick filaments (15). A third theory, to which I subscribe, pictures a structural change in the paramyosin core affecting the rate of breaking of myosin-actin links at the filament surface (5,16).3、段落结构（par

30、agraph structure）3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Example 2 Samples of inspired, end-tidal, and mixed-expired gases were taken during the 2-h wash-in period. Inspired gas samples were collected proximal to the non-rebreathing valve. End-tidal gas samples were collected through a catheter, the tip of which

31、 was placed near the tracheal end of the endotracheal tube. The endotracheal tube was connected to the non-rebreathing valve with flexible Teflon tubing whose internal volume was approximately 100 ml. Teflon was used to avoid the absorption and release of anesthetic that occur with plastics such as

32、polyethylene, and the added 100 ml of dead space was used to prevent contamination of end-tidal samples with inspired gas. Expired gases were conducted via a flexible Teflon tube to an aluminum mixing chamber. Mixed-expired gas samples were collected distal to the aluminum mixing chamber. All gas sa

33、mples were collected in 50-ml glass syringes that were stored upright (to produce a slight positive pressure) until analyzed.2. 连贯性 段落阐述的一个完整事项，应当使主题始终贯穿整个段落，需要采用多种技巧保持内在的连贯性。逻辑联系紧密的段落结构（主题句支持句）是保持连贯性最基本的方式。此外，要注意段落各句子之间内容的连续，中间不能缺少关键步骤的叙述，也不能中途插入无关的话题。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）保持连贯性的技巧a) 不遗漏必要的步骤b

34、) 重复关键词c) 使用连接用语表明各种关系d) 保持叙述顺序一致e) 保持一致的视角（注意主语类型）f) 并列结构表达并列的论点g) 对段落主题和小主题作明确的标记3、段落结构（paragraph structure）（1）重复关键词A. 准确地重复关键词 句子间重复关键词是为了将各观点很好地连接起来，便于读者理解，如果更换关键词的表达形式很可能造成意思混乱，使人误解。所以，在重复关键词时，一般以同一单词或词组的形式准确地重复。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Example 6 Digitalis increases the contractility of the m

35、ammalian heart. This change in inotropic state is a result of changes in calcium flux through the muscle cell membrane.看了这一段落，非本专业的读者不明白inotropic state的意义，也不明白与上一句的联系。其实，contractility和inotropic state在此其实是同一个意义。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Revision Digitalis increases the contractility of the mammalian

36、 heart. The increased contractility is a result of changes in calcium flux through the muscle cell membrane.修改后，关键词contractility被准确地重复，使得段落的连贯性得到保持。对increased这个特点也进行了重复，而不象原文中仅用不明确的change来表述。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Example1 The extent of digestion of the liver was determined empirically, on the b

37、asis of the softness of the liver in response to gentle scratches applied with sterile tweezers. When these scratches broke the surface of the liver, digestion was considered complete.2 The key enzyme in hepatocyte isolation is collagenase, but there is surprisingly little definitive information abo

38、ut what constitutes a good enzyme preparation for efficacy of cell yield and viability.第一个段落开始时用的关键词是“digestion”和“liver”（A句和B句），但在下一个段落（C句）变成“isolation”和“hepatocyte”。这两个段落的关系令人不能马上理解。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Revision1 The extent of digestion of the liver was determined empirically, on the basis of

39、 the softness of the liver in response to gentle scratches applied with sterile tweezers. When these scratches broke the surface of the liver, digestion was considered complete.2 The key enzyme used to digest liver is collagenase, but there is surprisingly little definitive information about what co

40、nstitutes a good enzyme preparation for efficacy of cell yield and viability.修改后，C句关键词改成与A句和B句一样的“digestion”和“liver”，使得两个段落连贯。如果作者希望在第二个段落包括后两个关键词“isolation”和“hepatocyte”，C句可改成“The key enzyme used to digest liver for isolation of hepatocytes is collagenase ”。B. 避免变换关键词造成概念混乱ExampleIn humans, apo-B10

41、0, mainly synthesized in the liver, and apo-B48, mainly synthesized in the intestine, are the products of a single apo-B gene (ref). The production of apo-B48 in the human intestine is the result of an RNA-editing process that changes a glutamine codon (CAA) of the mRNA for apo-B100 into a translati

42、onal stop codon (UAA). This apo-B mRNA-editing process does not occur in human livers, so apo-B48 is not synthesized in human livers. However, the mRNA-editing process, and thus apo-B48 formation, occurs in mouse and rat livers.3、段落结构（paragraph structure）D. 重复的关键词应当出现在句首所重复的关键词如出现在下一句的句首，可以使连贯性达到最佳效

43、果；如果关键词被放在句尾则连贯性就会减弱，读者依然会觉得言语晦涩，难以读懂。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Example Digitalis increased the contractility of the mammalian heart. Changes in the calcium flux through the muscle cell membrane cause the increased contractility.重复的关键词出现越迟，对保持连贯性的作用将越弱。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）F. 专用词与类别词转换将一个专用词（

44、special term）转换到类别词（category term），或从类别词转换到专用词。类别词概括一类事物的属性，如”rodents”是rats、mice、guinea pigs等动物的总称。专用词和类别词之间转换的技术要点，是保持这些词汇之间的连贯性。在转换时，用类别词定义专用词，类别词有了定义后，就能成为起连接作用的关键词。连接关键词的方式：i. 将定义（说明）紧靠在需作定义词汇的前面或后面；ii. 将定义（说明）紧靠在需作定义词汇后面的，用逗号隔开；iii. 确认定义重复了上一句的关键词，或为下一句准备了关键词。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）用“Which

45、is”句型的简略形式连接专用词和类别词ExampleThe v-erbB gene is related to the neu oncogene. Both oncogenes have 例句中，neu oncogene是一种oncogene，但v-erbB gene是什么？RivisionThe v-erbB gene, an oncogene of the avian erythroblastosis virus, is related to the neu oncogene. Both oncogenes have 3、段落结构（paragraph structure）用“Namely”

46、词组连接专用词和类别词Example The family of TGF-signaling molecules play inductive roles in various developmental contexts. One member of this family, Drosophila Decapentaplegic (Dpp), serves as a morphogen that patterns both the embryo and adult. 在该例中，在专用词Drosophila Decapentaplegic前，用类别词one member of this fam

47、ily作了定义，这样与上一句关键词family建立了联系。这种定义是“namely”句型的简略形式，其完整的形式是“One member of this family, namely Drosophila Decapentaplegic (Dpp), ”。如省略了Drosophila Decapentaplegic前的“one member of this family”，就会破坏两句的连贯性。3、段落结构（paragraph structure）（2）保持一致的视角在论著写作中，视角（point of view）是指叙述问题的角度，最重要的是句子的主语（反映主题），主语不同，叙述角度就不同。

48、 当相连几个句子，选用相同的单词或同一类型的词作主语，阐述同一主题时，视角就一致。相反，如果主题相同而主语不同时，视角就不一致，阅读时难度大大增加。 3、段落结构（paragraph structure）A. 相同的词Example Propranolol had variable effects on the hypoxemia-induced changes in regional blood flow. In the cerebrum, the increase in blood flow caused by hypoxemia was not significantly altered

49、 by propranolol. However, in other organs, such as the gut and the kidneys, and in the peripheral circulation, propranolol caused a more severe decrease in blood flow than did hypoxemia alone.3、段落结构（paragraph structure）RevisionPropranolol had variable effects on the hypoxemia-induced changes in regi

50、onal blood flow. In the cerebrum, propranolol did not significantly alter the increase in blood flow caused by hypoxemia. However, in other organs, such as the gut and the kidneys, and in the peripheral circulation, propranolol caused a more severe decrease in blood flow than did hypoxemia alone.3、段

51、落结构（paragraph structure）B. 相同类型的词Example The control injection of naloxone produced no significant changes in arterial blood pressure or heart rate. The arterial blood pressure or heart rates measured after 24 h of morphine infusion did not change significantly.3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Revision 1

52、The control injection of naloxone produced no significant changes in arterial blood pressure or heart rate. Twenty-four hours of morphine infusion produced no significant changes in arterial blood pressure or heart rate.Revision 2 Neither the control injection of naloxione nor the 24-h morphine infu

53、sion significantly altered arterial blood pressure or heart rate.3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Example Olsen et al. (22) concluded that series interaction was more important than direct interaction; Visner et al. (23), using a nearly identical preparation and protocol, concluded the opposite. We found

54、that direct interaction was about one-half as important as series interaction in determining left ventricular volume at end diastole when the pericardium was on, and that the direct interaction effect decreased when the pericardium was removed.3、段落结构（paragraph structure）Revision Olsen et al. (22) co

55、ncluded that direct interaction was less important than series interaction; Visner et al. (23), using a nearly identical preparation and protocol, concluded the opposite. We found that direct interaction was about one-half as important as series interaction in determining left ventricular volume at

56、end diastole when the pericardium was on, and that the direct interaction effect decreased when the pericardium was removed.3、段落结构（paragraph structure）3. 突出重点 需要强化（或突出）重点信息，淡化不重要的信息，也就是要提高信噪比，只有降低噪声（次要内容），才能增加信号（主要信息）的比重。突出重点的技巧：淡化次要信息，强化重要信息 浓缩信息，省略不重要的信息 将不重要的信息放在段落的次要位置 将重要信息放在段落的突出位置 标记重要信息 重复重要

57、信息 直接陈述而不是隐含重要信息3、段落结构（paragraph structure）段落中最突出（最重要）的位置是： 句子、段落或节的开始；句子第一个名词，特别是作为主语时。较突出地位置是： 句子、段落或节的结尾。不突出（次要）的位置是： 句子、段落或节的中间；内容放在括号内；句子中间的形容词或名词。 3、段落结构（paragraph structure）（1）浓缩或省略次要信息突出重点信息最重要的技巧之一，是用浓缩和省略的方式淡化次要信息。在许多发表的论著中，过多的次要信息淹没了重要信息，就象“只见树不见林”。解决的方法是平衡两个极端情况：叙述所有知道的事物；提炼内在信息。要记住：“噪声越

58、大，信号越小（the more noise, the less message）”3、段落结构（paragraph structure）ExampleMean pulmonary artery pressure and cardiac output did not change after instillation of serum alone or serum with epinephrine or terbutaline (Table 1). Left atrial pressure fell slightly below baseline after all three treatmen

59、ts but the decrease was statistically significant only for epinephrine and terbutaline (Table 1). Peak airway pressure increased slightly after all three treatments but the increase was statistically significant only for epinephrine and terbutaline (Table 1). There was a significant increase in lung

60、 lymph flow and a significant decrease in the lymph-to-plasma protein concentration ratio after all three treatments. Both the rise in lymph flow and the decease in the lymph-to-plasma protein concentration ratio were greater after terbutaline and epinephrine than after serum alone (Table 2). Arteri