tedconnected,butalone演讲稿(★)修改版

Justamomentago,mydaughterRebeccatextedmeforgoodluck.Hertextsaid,mom,youwillrock.Ilovethis.Gettingthattextwaslikegettingahug.Andsothereyouhaveit,Iembodythecentralparadox.I'mawomanwholovesgettingtext,who'sgoingtotellyouthattoomanyofthemcanbeproblem.Actually,thatreminderofmydaughterbringsmetothebeginningofmystory,1996,whenIgavemyfirstTEDTalk.Rebeccawas5yearsoldandshewassittingrightthereinthefrontrow.IhadjustwrittenabookthatcelebratedourlifeontheinternetandIwasabouttobeonthecoverofWiredMagazine.Inthoseheydaydays,wewereexperimentingwithchatroomsandonlinevirtualcommunities.Wewereexploringdifferentaspectsofourselvesandthenweunclocked.Iwasexcited,andasapsychologist,whatexcitedmemostwastheideathatwewouldusewhatwelearnedinthevirtualworldaboutourselves,aboutouridentifytolivebetterlivesintheworld.Now,fastforwardto2012,I'mbackhereontheTEDstageagain.Mydaughteris20.Sheisacollegestudent.Shesleepswithhercellphone,sodoIandI'vejustwrittenanewbook,butthistime,it'snotonethatwillgetmeonthecoverofWiredMagazine.So,whathappened?I'mstillexcitedbytechnology,butIbelieveandI'mheretomakethecasethatwe'relettingittakeusplacesthatwedon'twannago.Overthepast15years,I'vestudiedtechnologiesofmobilecommunicationandI'veinterviewedhundredsandhundredsofpeople,youngandoldabouttheirpluggedinlivesandwhatIfoundisthatourlittledevices,thoselittledevicesinourpocketsaresopsychologicallypowerfulthattheydon'tonlychangewhatwedo.Theychangewhoweare.Someofthethingswedonowwithourdevicesarethingsthatonlyafewyearsagowouldhavefoundoddordisturbing,butthey'vequicklycometoseemfamiliarjusthowwedothings,sojusttotakesomequickexamples,peopletextore-mailduringcorporateboardmeetings.TheytextandshopandgoonFacebookduringclasses,duringpresentations,actuallyduringallmeetings.Peopletalkedtomeabouttheimportantnewskillofmakingeyecontactwhileyourtexting.Peopleexplainedtomethatit'shard,thatitcanbedone.Parentstextanddoe-mailatbreakfastandatdinnerwhereyourchildrencomplainedaboutnothavingtheirparents'fullattention,butthenthesamechildrendenyeachothertheirfullattention.Thisisarecentshotofmydaughterandherfriendsbeingtogetherwhilenotbeingtogether.Andweeventexttofunerals.Istudythis.Weremoveourselvesfromourgrieforfromourreverieandwegoinourphones.Whydoesthismatter.ItmatterstomebecauseIthinkwe'resavingourselvesupfortrouble.Troublecertainlyandhowwerelatetoeachother,butalsotroubleinhowwerelatetoourselvesinourcapacityforselfreflection.We'regettingusedtoanewwayofbeingalonetogether.Peoplewanttobewitheachother,butalsoelsewhereconnectedtoallthedifferentplacestheywannabe.Peoplewanttocustomizetheirlives.Theywanttogoinandoutofalltheplacestheyarebecausethethingthatmattersmosttothemiscontroloverwheretheyputttheirattention.So,youwannagotothatboardmeeting,butyouonlywannapayattentiontothebitsthatinterestyou,andsomepeoplethinkthat'sagoodthing,butyoucanenduphidingfromeachotherevenaswe'reallconstantlyconnectedtoeachother.50-year-oldbusinessmanlamentstomethathefeelshedoesn'thavecolleaguesanymoreatwork.Whenhegoestowork,hedoesn'tstopbytotalktoanybodyhedoesn'tcallandhesayshedoesn'twanttointerrupthiscolleaguesbecausehesaystheyaretoobusyontheire-mail,butthenhestopshimselfandhesays,youknow,I'mnottellyouthetruth.I'mtheonewhodoesn'twanttobeinterrupted.IthinkIshouldwantto,butactuallyI'dratherjustdothingsonmyBlackberry(RIMM).Acrossthegenerations,Iseethatpeopletendtogetenoughwitheachotherifandonlyiftheycanhaveeachotheratadistanceinamountstheycancontrol.IcallittheGoldilockseffect,nottooclose,nottoofar,justright,butwhatmightfeeljustrightforthatmiddleagedexecutivecanbeaproblemforanadolescentwhoneedstodevelopfacetofacerelationships.An18-year-oldboywhousestextingforalmosteverythingsaystomewishfullysomeday,somedaybutcertainlynotnowIwouldliketolearnhowtohaveaconversation.WhenIaskpeoplewrongwithhavingaconversation?I'lltellyouwhat'swrongwithhavingaconversation.Ittakesplaceinrealtimeandyoucan'tcontrolwhatyou'regonnasay.So,that'sthebottomline;texting,e-mail,posting.Allofthesethingsletuspresenttoselfaswewannabe.Wegettoeditandthatmeanswegettodelete,andthatmeanswegettoretouchtheface,thevoice,theflesh,thebody.Nottoomuch,justright.Humanrelationshipsarerichandtheyaremessyandtheyaredemanding,andwecleanthemupwithtechnologyandwhenwedooneofthethingsthatcanhappenisthatwesacrificeconversationformereconnection.Weshortchangeourselves,andovertime,weseemedtoforgetthisorweseemedtostopcaring.IcaughtoffguardwhenStephenColbertaskedmeaprofoundquestion,aprofoundquestion.Hesaid,"Don'tallthoselittletweets,don'tallthoselittleSIPsofonlinecommunicationaddupto1biggulfrealconversation?"Myanswerwasno.Theydon'taddup.ConnectinginSIPsmayworkforgatheringdiscretebitsofinformation.TheymayworkforsayingandthinkingaboutyouorevenforsayingIloveyou.Imean,lookathowIfeltwhenIgotthattextfrommydaughter,buttheydon'treallyworkforlearningabouteachothertoreallycomingtoknowandunderstandeachother,andweuseconversationswitheachothertolearnhowtohaveconversationswithourselves.So,offlightfromconversationcanreallymatterbecauseitcancompromiseourcapacityforselfreflection.Forkidsgrowingup,thatskillisthebedrockofdevelopment.Overandover,Ihear,"Iwouldrathertextthantalk."AndwhatI'mseeingisthatpeoplegetsousedtobeingshortchangeoutrealconversation,sousedtogettingbywithlessthattheybecomealmostwillingtodispensewithpeoplealtogether.So,forexample,manypeoplesharewithmethiswishthatsomedayamoreadvanceversionofSiri,thedigitalassistantonApple'siPhone(AAPL)willbemorelikeabestfriend,someonewhowilllistenwhenotherwon't.IbelievethiswishreflectsapainfultruththatI'velearnedinthepast15years.Thefeelingthatnooneislisteningtomeisveryimportantinourrelationshipswithtechnology.That'swhyit'sappealingtohaveaFacebookpageorTwitterfeedsomanyautomaticlisteners,andthefeelingthatnooneislisteningtomemakesuponetospendtimewithmachinesthatseemedtocareaboutus.We'redevelopingrobots.Theycallthemsociablerobotsthatarespecificallydesignedtobecompanions,tobeelderlytoourchildren,tous.Havewesolostconfidencethatwewillbethereforeachother?Allright,IwanttoseeashowofhandshowmanyofyouhaveunfriendedsomeoneonFacebookbecausetheysaidsomethingoffensiveaboutpoliticsorreligion,childcare,food?Andhowmanyofyouknowatleastonepersonthatyouavoidbecauseyoujustdontwanttotalktothem?Youknow,itusedtobethatinordertohaveainMyFairLadySticktotheweatherandyourhealth.Butthesedays,withclimatechangeandanti-vaxxing,thosesubjects—arenotsafeeither.Sothisworldthatwelivein,thisworldinwhicheveryconversationhasthepotentialtodevolveintoanargument,whereourpoliticianscan’tspeaktooneanother,andwhereeventhemosttrivialofissueshavesomeonefightingbothpassionatelyforitandagainstit,it’snotnormal.PewResearchdidastudyof10,000Americanadults,andtheyfoundthatatthismoment,wearemorepolarized,wearemoredividedthanweeverhavebeeninhistory.Wearelesslikelytocompromise,whichmeanswe’renotlisteningtoeachother.Andwemakedecisionsaboutwheretolive,whotomarryandevenwhoourfriendsaregoingtobebasedonwhatwealreadybelieve.Again,thatmeanswe’renotlisteningtoeachother.Aconversationrequiresabalancebetweentalkingandlisting,andsomewherealongtheway,welostthatbalance.Now,partofthatisduetotechnology.Thesmartphonesthatyoualleitherhaveinyourhandsorcloseenoughthatyoucouldgrabthemreallyquickly.AccordingtothePewResearch,AboutathirdofAmericanteenagerssendmorethanahundredtextsaday.Andmanyofthem,almostmostofthem,aremorelikelytotexttheirfriendsthantheyaretotalktothemfacetoface.There’sthisgreatpieceinTheAtlantic.ItwaswrittenbyahighschoolteachernamedPaulBarnwell.Andhegavehiskidsacommunicationproject.Hewantedtoteachthemhowtospeakonaspecificsubjectwithoutusingnotes.Andhesaidthis:”Icametorealize…”“Icametorealizethatconversationalcompetencemightbethesinglemostoverlookedskillwefailtoteach.Kidsspendhourseachdayengagingwithideasandeachotherthroughscreens,butrarelydotheyhaveanopportunitytohonetheirinterpersonalcommunicationsskills.Itmightsoundlikeafunnyquestion,butwehavetoaskourselves.Isthereany21st-centuryskillmoreimportantthanbeingabletosustaincoherent,confidentconversation?”Now,Imakemylivingtalkingtopeople:NobelPrizewinners,truckdirvers,billionaries,kindergartenteachers,headsofstate,plumbers.ItalktopeoplethatIlike.ItalktopeoplethatIdon’tlike.ItalktosomepeoplethatIdisagreewithdeeplyonapersonallevel.ButIstillhaveagreatconversationwiththem.SoI’dliketospendthenext10minutesorsoteachingyouhowtotalkandhowtolisten.Manyofyouhavealreadyheardalotofadviceonthis,thingslikelookthepersonintheeye,thingsofinterestingtopicstodiscussinadvance,look,nodandsmiletoshowthatyou’repayingattention,repeatbackwhatyoujustheardorsummarizeit.SoIwantyoutoforgetallofthat.Itiscrap.Thereisnoreasontolearnhowtoshowyou’repayingattention,ifyouareinfactpayingattention.Now,IactuallyusetheexactsameskillsasaprofessionalinterviewerthatIdoinregularlife.So,I’mgoingtoteachyouhowtointerviewpeople,Andthat’sactuallygoingtohelpyoulearnhowtobebetterconversationalists.Learntohaveaconversationwithoutwastingyourtime,withoutgettingbored,and,pleaseGod,withoutoffendinganybody.We’veallhadreallygreatconversations.We’vehadthembefore.Weknowwhatit’slike.Thekindofconversationwhereyouwalkawayfeelingengagedandinspired,orwhereyoufeellikeyou’vemadearealconnectionoryou’vebeenperfectlyunderstood.Thereisnoreasonwhymostofyourinteractionscan’tbelikethat.SoIhave10basicrules.I’mgoingtowalkyouthroughallofthem,buthonestly,ifyoujustchooseoneofthemandmasterit,you’llalreadyenjoybetterconversations.Numberone:don’tmultitask.AndIdon’tmeanjustsetdownyourcellphoneoryourtabletoryourcarkeysorwhateverisinyourhand.Imean,bepresent.Beinthatmoment.Don’tthinkaboutyourargumentyouhadwithyourboss.Don’tthinkaboutwhatyou’regoingtohavefordinner.Ifyouwanttogetoutoftheconversation,getoutoftheconversation,butdon’tbehalfinitandhalfoutofit.Numbertwo:don’tpontificate.Ifyouwanttostateyouropinionwithoutanyopportunityforresponseorargumentorpushbackorgrowth,writeablog.Nowthere’sayreconservativethey’regoingtohateObamaandfoodstampsandabortion.Ifthey’reliberal,they’regoingtohatebigbanksandoilcorporationsandDickCheney.Totallypredictable.Andyoudon’twanttobelikethat.Youneedtoentereveryconversationassumingthatyouhavesomethingtolearn.ThefamedtherapistM.ScottPecksaidthattruelisteningrequiresasettingasideofoneself.Andsometimesthatmeanssettingasideyourpersonalopinion.Hesaidthatsensingthisacceptance,thespeakerwillbecomelessandlessvulnerableandmoreandmorelikelytoopenuptheinnerrecessesofhisorhermindtothelistener.Again,assumethatyouhavesomethingtolearn.BillNye:”everyoneyouwillevermeetknowssomethingthatyoudon’t.”Iputitthisway:Everybodyisanexpertinsomething.Numberthree:useopen-endedquestions.Inthiscase,takeacuefromjournalists.Startyourquestionswithwho,what,when,where,whyorhow.Ifyouputinacomplicatedquestion,you’regoingtogetasimpleanswerout.IfIaskyou,”wereyouterrified?”YouaregoingtorespondtothemostpowerfulwordinthatsentencewhichisterrifiedandtheanswerTheyretheonesthatknow.Tryaskingthemthingslike,”whatwasthatlike?”“howdidthatfeel?”Becausethentheymighthavetostopforamomentandthinkaboutit,andyou’regoingtogetamuchmoreinterestingresponse.Numberfour:givewiththeflow.Thatmeansthoughtswillcomeintoyourmind.We’veheardinterviewsofteninwhichaguestistalkingforseveralminutesandthatcomesbackinandasksaquestionwhichseemslikeitcomesoutofnowhere,orit’salreadybeenanswered.Thatmeansthehostprobablystoppedlisteningtwominutesagobecausehethoughtofthisreallycleverquestion,andhewasjustboundanddeterminedtosaythat.Andwedotheexactsamething.We’resittingtherehavingaconversationwithsomeone,andthenwerememberthattimethatwemetHughJackmaninacoffeeshop.Andwestoplistening.Storiesandideasaregoingtocometoyou.Youneedtoletthemcomeandletthemgo.Numberfive:ifyoudon’tknow,saythatyoudon’tknow.Now,peopleontheradio,especiallyonNPR,aremuchmoreawarethatthey’regoingontherecord,andsothey’remorecarefulaboutwhattheyclaimtobeanexpertinandwhattheyclaimtoknowforsure.Dothat.Erronthesideofcaution.Talkshouldnotbecheap.Numbersix:don’tequateyourexperiencewiththeirs.Ifthey’retalkingabouthavinglostafamilymember,don’tstarttalkingaboutthetimeyoulostafamilymember.Ifthey’retalkingaboutthetroublethey’rehavingatwork,don’ttellthemabouthowmuchyouhateyourjob.It’snotthesame.Itisneverthesame.Allexperiencesareindividual.And,moreimportantly,itisnotaboutyou.Youdon’tneedtotakethatmomenttoprovehowamazingyouareorhowmuchyou’vesuffered.SomebodyaskedStephenHawkingoncewhathisIQwas,andhesaid,“Ihavenoidea.PeoplewhobragabouttheirIQsarelosers.”Conversationsarenotapromotionalopportunity.Numberseven:trynottorepeatyourself.It’scondescending,andit’sreallyboring,andwetendtodoitalot.Especiallyinworkconversationsorinconversationswithourkids,wehaveapointtomake,sowejustkeeprephrasingitoverandover.Don’tdothat.Numbereight:stayoutoftheweeds.Frankly,peopledon’tcareabouttheyears,thenames,thedates,allthosedetailsthatyou’restrugglingtocomeupwithinyourmind.Theydon’tcare.Whattheycareaboutisyou.Theycareaboutwhatyou’relike,whatyouhaveincommon.Soforgetthedetails.Leavethemout.Numbernine:thisisnotthelastone,butitisthemostimportantone.Listen.Icannottellyouhowmanyreallyimportantpeoplehavesaidthatlisteningisperhapsthemost,thenumberonemostimportantskillthatyoucoulddevelop.Buddhaeverlistenedhiswayoutofajob.”Whydowenotlistentoeachother?Numberone,we’drathertalk.WhenI’mtalking,I’mincontrol.Idon’thavetohearanythingI’mnotinterestedin.I’mthecenterofattention.Icanbolstermyownidentity.Butthere’sanotherreason:wegetdistracted.Theaveragepersontalksatabout225wordsperminute,butwecanlistenatupto500wordsperminute.Soourmindsarefillinginthoseother275words.Andlook,Iknow,ittakeseffortandenergytoactuallypayattentiontosomeone,butifyoucan’tdothat,havetolistentooneanother.StephenCoveysaiditverybeautifully.Hesaid,”mostofusdon’tlistenwiththeintenttounderstand.Welistenwiththeintenttoreply.”Onemorerule,number10,andit’sthisone:bebrief.Agoodconversationislikeaminiskirt;shortenoughtoretaininterest,butlongenoughtocoverthesubject.—myAllofthisboilsdowntothesamebasicconcept,anditisthisone:beinterestedinotherpeople.Youknow,Igrewupwithaveryfamousgrandfather,andtherewaskindofaritualinmyhome.Peoplewouldcomeovertotalktomygrandparents,andaftertheywouldleave,mymotherwouldcomeovertous,andshe’dsay,“Doyouknowwhothatwas?Shewastherunner-uptoMissAmerica.HewasthemayorofSacramento.ShewonaPulitzerAndIkindofgrewupassumingeveryonehassomehidden,amazingthingaboutthem.Andhonestly,Ithinkit’swhatmakesmeabetterhost.IkeepmymouthshutasoftenasIpossiblycan,Ikeepmymindopen,andI’malwayspreparedtobeamazed,andI’mneverdisappointed.Youdothesamething.Goout,talktopeople,listentopeople,andmostimportantly,bepreparedtobeamazed.Thanks.第二篇：演讲稿演讲稿演讲稿Overthepastoneweek,We'vecollecteddataofmobilecommunication,andIhaveinterviewedafewofpeople,youngandoldabouttheirpluggedinlives.AndwhatI'vefoundisthatourlittledevices,thoselittledevicesinourpockets,aresopsychologicallypowerfulthattheydon'tonlychangewhatwedo,theychangewhoweare.Sojusttotakesomeexamples:Peopletextordoemailduringcorporateboardmeetings.Theytextandshopandgoonmicroblogduringclasses,duringpresentations,actuallyduringallmeetings.Peopletalktomeabouttheimportantnewskillofmakingeyecontactwhileyou'retexting.Peopleexplaintomethatit'shard,butthatitcanbedone.Aclassmatetoldmehedoesn’twanttointerrupthispartner,Butthenhesays,"Youknow,I'mnottellingyouthetruth.I'mtheonewhodoesn'twanttobeinterrupted.IthinkIshouldwantto,butactually,I'dratherjustdothingsonmyiphone."Acrossthegenerations,Iseethatpeoplecan'tgetenoughofeachother,ifandonlyiftheycanhaveeachotheratadistance,inamountstheycancontrol.第三篇：师德演讲稿演讲稿英语演讲稿师德演讲稿演讲稿英语演讲稿点击进入查看全文2010虎年运势测算，走好运，发大财！专辑中文名：西界歌手：林俊杰版本：引进版地区：大陆语言：普通话唱片公司：海蝶典+南欧浪漫+美西灵魂+北非热06/29全亚洲盛大跨界发行。每个心中都有西界，通往那个未知的自己，在与恨之间，在黑与白之间，在善与恶之间。名曲曹作词大师-林秋离，神来之笔创西界之说。罗比威廉斯&MR.Children&Glay都崇拜的，大师信藤先生"双J与鸟"概念之作，让这张专辑视觉充满想象力。一年一度跨界盛事，新专辑收集世界大师精髓绕着地球跑！大师信藤三雄献出华作，歌姬米希亚闻乐慕名求合作！美国舞蹈宗师DaveScott首度为亚洲歌手编舞，Top5Dancers现身尬舞！国际古筝大师王勇揭开序幕，金钟影帝王传一跨刀以声相许！香港道具高手特制奇幻视觉道具空运来台，新马中港台海音乐在视觉的造型变化上，不同以往。在内地、星马奔波忙的不可开的他，写歌的时间只能在飞机上或旅馆抢概念告以整张专辑的和音乐走向是由林俊杰主导，更清楚的表达了自己的音乐理念。01.独白02.手03.手@续04.西界07.L-O-V-E08.发现09.不流泪的机场10.BabyBaby11.不变DownloadCueFileREMGENREpopREMDATE2007pERFORMER"林俊杰"TITLE"西界"FILE"林俊杰.-..专辑.(ApE).ape"WETRACK01AUDIOTITLE"独白"EfriendconnectCoentsApE专辑下载ApE相关知识相关软件标签丁当中孝介五月天任贤齐伍佰光良刘力扬刘德华刘芳刘若英卫兰原声大碟后弦周传雄周华健周杰周笔畅孙燕姿孟庭苇宝儿容祖儿小松未歩小虎队巫启贤常安张娜拉张学友张宇张惠妹张敬轩张震岳张靓颖张韶涵徐小凤恩雅戴佩妮方大同李克勤李宇春李玟李翊君林俊杰林子祥林志炫梁咏琪梁汉文梁静茹汪峰温岚游鸿明滨崎步火烈鸟唱片王力宏王心凌王杰王若琳王菲王雅洁童丽米线纯音乐罗大佑罗文群星胡彦斌艾薇儿苏打绿苏永康苏芮范晓萱范玮琪草蜢莫文蔚萧亚轩蔡依林蔡健雅蔡旻佑蔡琴许冠杰许巍许茹芸谢霆锋邓丽君那英郑秀文郭富城陈奕迅陈影陈慧娴陈慧琳陶喆雅尼风潮唱片飞儿乐团马修·连恩黎明黎瑞恩黑鸭子齐秦齐豫龚玥AcousticAlchemyapeAvrilLavigneAyumiHamasakiBackstreetBoysBallakeSissokoBEYONDBoABritneySpearsdownloadEminemEnigmaEnyaFaithHillFiveHIFIJohnLennonKarajanKeikoLeeKevinKernonelRichieLudovicoEinaudiMariahCareyMegadethMehdiMichaelJacksonNightwishNirvanapaulVanDykQueenR.E.M.RainRaulDiBlasioRichardMarxS.H.ESarahConnorSecretGardenTheBeatlesTheCranberriesTISTwinsU2VariousArtistVariousArtistsWestlifeYanni本站全站使用p2p下载技术，为了达到高速下载，请您先安装miniFlashge