八省联考读后续写深度分析及配套练习

八省联考读后续写深度分析及配套练习IwasinPhiladelphiaforaconferencewhenIsawanadinthehotel.Anearbytheaterwasshowingadocumentary(纪录片)aboutseverallocalanimalsheltersthatwerehelpingtosaveabandoneddogsacrossthecountry.Iloveanimals,andIfeltanurgetogotothisfundraisingevent.However,noneofmyco-workerswouldgowithme,andIwasworriedaboutwalkingonthestreetaloneatnight.人物I,co-worker场景inPhiladelphia,aconference,hotel,theater,street事件adocumentaryaboutanimalshelters伏笔1.Otherssavedabandoneddogs；2.Iwenttothefundraisingevent；3.Iwasworriedaboutwalkingonthestreetaloneatnight.语言风格主谓宾结构，配简单从句。第一人称陈述，and用语较多。语言相对平实，情绪稳定。Iresignedmyselftospendingtheeveninginmyhotelroom,butassoonasIgotbacktomyroomIfeltrestlessandbored.Thetheaterwheretheeventwastakingplacewasonlyaboutfiveblocksfromthehotel,andtheareaaroundthehoteldidn’tseemparticularlydangerous.So,Idecidedtobraveit.Igatheredupmywalletandroomkeyandsetoff.人物I场景hotelroom,theater事件HowIpersuadedmyselftotakeastepforward.伏笔1.Ifeltrestlessandbored.2.Itdidn’tseemparticularlydangerous.3.Idecidedtogo.语言风格依旧以简单句行文，但在心理活动描写上加了笔墨。braveit是点睛之笔，可在续写处再次提及。Itwasalreadygettingdarkandthestreetswerenearlydeserted.Imanagedtofindthestreetthetheaterwason,butwhenIturnedthecorner,Istoppedinshock.Infrontofthetheaterwereagroupofbikers—verybig,tough-lookingbikers.人物I,bikers场景street,infrontofthetheater事件Ihappenedtomeetsomeunexpectedguyswhobotheredmealot.伏笔1.desertedstreets;2.inshock;3.verybig,tough-lookingbikers语言风格本段主要以描写场景、心理状态以及人物外貌的形容词，不断烘托故事的情绪氛围。I’veknownlotsofmotorcycleenthusiastsandmostarenicepeople.However,inthiscase,Iwasawomanallalone,inastrangeneighborhood,atnight,andthereweretwentyorsoverylargemen—allwearinginsignia(徽章)thatindicatedtheywereinsomesortofclub—standingbeforeme.Warningbellsbegantosoundinmyhead,andmyheartwaspounding.WasIattherighttheater?HadImisreadthedateoftheevent?人物I,bikers场景infrontofthetheater事件Ithoughtaboutthepastexperience,butwhatIsawinfrontofthetheaterleftmedisturbing.伏笔1.thecomparisonbetweenthepastandpresent;2.insigniaandsomesortofclub;3.somethinghappenedinmyheadandheart语言风格本段以心理活动为主，作者本人在面对某种“危险”时，脑海里一阵翻江倒海，各种天人交战，通过介词短语的插入语成分，以一顿一顿的方式，不断将某种紧张气氛烘托到嗓子眼。AsignoutsidethetheatertoldmethatIwasintherightplaceontherightevening.Nevertheless,IwonderedifIshouldrushbacktomyhotelinsteadofwalkingthroughthatcrowdofbikers.IfinallydecidedthatIwouldbesaferinsidethetheater.Hopefully,thebikerswouldhavegoneawaybythetimethefilmwasover.人物I,bikers场景infrontofthetheater事件Afterthinkingforawhile,Idecidedtocontinuemy“adventure”.伏笔1.thesign;2.crowdofbikers;3.safeordangerous语言风格本段继续以心理活动为主，且并未和机车手产生互动，这为后文埋下了伏笔。Ihurriedintothetheater,onlytofindtherewereevenmorebikersinside._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Whenthefilmbegan,Irealizedthatthebikerswereananimalrescuegroup._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________续写的建议：1.续写需要在文字风格上保持一定的一致性【本文续写：心理活动和场景的细节描写应该摆在首位】；2.续写应符合一定的人设【本文作者心理活动较多，则明显属于内向之人，具有一定的“社恐”属性，续写时不应过度以对话或互动形式渲染】；3.续写还要将前文的坑一一填上【本文的坑如上所述的伏笔】；4.切勿刻意升华主题【本文可着眼于机车手的前后反差对比】。5.句式结构选择：①简单句以主谓宾为主，加简单的从句或并列句；②心理描写以具体细节为主，如手、脑、眼神等等表现自己的紧张情绪；③情绪描写以形容词和介宾结构相结合的方式，需要直接表现时，用形容词；需要一定的烘托时，用介宾结构；④语选择，以伏笔的复现为最优解，最终解决前后文的冲突，消除‘震惊。6.续写两段内容：①第一段以“我”的感受和所见所闻为主，以动作和心理活动表现不断抬高“紧张”感，可借助机车手的言行给“我”带来的压迫感，来表现“我”的坐立不安；②第二段要结合纪录片的内容，揭开机车手的“真正面目”，后者可通过对这些机车手的“反差式”表现进行描写，最后以“我”的认知作为结尾,今晚不虚此行。【配套练习】1．（2024•琼海模拟）InahousefarfromthecitylivedJohnandhismother.John'sonlyhobbywaswanderinginthenearbypicturesqueforest.Initscenterwasashinyclearlakewithschoolsoffishdancinginit.Lovelyanimalssuchasdeerorrabbitswereplayingaroundandcutebirdsweresingingintrees.Fascinatedbythebeautyandlivelinessofnature,hedesiredtobecomeagreatartistandpresentallthebreath﹣takingscenestotheworld.Johnstudiedinthelocalprimaryschool.LifewasnoteasyforJohnandhismomafterhisfatherdied.Knowingwhathardworkhismotherdidtomakeendsmeet,Johnreallydidn'twanthismothertoworry.Hismotherknewthesignificanceofeducationinlifebutshewasagainsthisdreamofbecominganartist."Theprofessionofartistcan'taidapersoninmeetinghisdailyexpenses,"shewouldsay.Butaseachdaypassed,John'sdreambecamemorepassionate.Duetothelivingcircumstances,evenbuyingsomenewcolorswouldbealuxury.Johnonlyusedtheworndrawingfileandlimitedcolorsforhisdailypractice.Thoughlackingfinepaintingmaterials,henevergaveupdrawing.Hespentasignificantamountoftimestayingintheforest,secretlyperfectinghiscraft.Withcontinuoushardworkandadistinctgiftforart,hedrewbeautifully.OnedayJohnreadaboutacompetitionbeingheldinthetown,whosedeadlinewasonlytwodaysaway.Hegottheperfectopportunitytofulfillhisdesirebuthewasinadilemma（两难境地）asforthecompetitionheneededspecialpaintsandsomebrushes.Hedidn'thavethecouragetoaskhismotherformoneyasheknewherprejudiceagainstart.Thateveninghismomreturnedfromworkandhandedhimafewpapernotes,saying,"Thisisforyourlunchatschoolnextmonth."Themoneywasenoughforhisdesiredmaterials!John'sfacelitup.注意：（1）续写词数应为150左右；（2）请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.______Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn'shome.______2．（2024•安庆模拟）Onmyfirstsummervacationasajuniorhighschoolstudent,Iclimbedmyfirstmountain—afairlygentle3,900﹣footpeaknearwhereIliveinSurrey,BritishColumbia.IwasoverweightatthetimeandoutofbreathwhenIreachedthesummit.ButIlovedthechallengeofconqueringsomethingbiggerthanmyself.SoonIclimbednearly100peaks.MyparentswerehappyI'dfinallyfoundahobby.IoftenwentclimbingwithmyfriendMelOlsen,whomI'dmetinaFacebookgroup.LastDecember,I,togetherwithMel,cametoOregontotackle11,240﹣footMountHood.It'ssafertostartwinterclimbsatnightwhenthere'slessriskofthesunmeltingthesnowpack.Thatdaywestartedat3am,followingthepathsalongsidetheskiruns.Thetemperaturewasabout14°,andweworelayerswecouldeasilyremove,knowingthesportswouldmakeuswarm.Alongtheway,wemettwootherclimbers,andthefourofuscontinuedontogether.Afteraboutfivehours,wereachedDevil'sKitchen,aplateau（高原）atabout10,000feet.Bythispoint,thewindwashowling.Myexposedskinfeltasthoughitwereburning.Theotherclimbersdecidedtoturnback,butMelandIwentahead.Wehadiceaxes,helmets,andcrampons（攀登钉鞋）.Wewereinhighspiritsandpreparedfortheclimb.Thetrailwefollowedgrewnarrowerandsteeper.Ataround9am,wereachedaflightoficestep.Itwasaboutthreeorfourfeettallandslopedata75﹣degreeangle.Ivolunteeredtogofirst.Iplacedmyleftfootontheicestep.ConfidentIwassafe,Iputmyfullweightonit.Suddenly,Iheardacrack,andawholeslaboficebrokeoffthestep,rightundermyfoot.Inaninstant,IfellbackwardbeforeImadeanyresponse.IcouldhearMelcallingmynameinatremblingvoiceasItumbleddown,bouncingofftherockface,androllingdownthemountainasifIwereacharacterinavideogame.Irememberthinking：Thisisit.You'redone.注意：（1）续写词数应为150词左右；（2）请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Istuckoutmyarmsandlegshopelessly,grabbingatanything.______AsMelmadeherwaydown,Iyelledforhelp,andotherclimberscametomyrescue.______3．（2024•遵义二模）BelindaandRobertStonewereenjoyingapeacefulafternoontogetherinBarbados—theirfavoritevacationdestination.Itwasawarmafternoon,andtheydecideditwastheperfecttimetogoforanoceanswim."Wewerefloatingaround,sayinghowenjoyablethiswas,whataterrificholiday."saidBelinda."Weswamout,notthatfarbutenoughtobeoutofourdepth."Thecouple—wholiveinLondon—arebothrelativelystrongswimmers,Belindasaid,sothey"feltfullyconfident"beingintheocean.Buttheyhadn'tconsideredjusthowstrongthecurrentwasthatparticularday.AlthoughtheyhadvisitedBarbadosseveraltimes,theydidn'trealizethespecificareatheyswamtowasknownforitsstrongriptide（激流）.Thecouplenoticedthattheywerefloatinginthedirectionoftheneighboringbeach,soBelindadecidedtoswimtowardthebeachtheycamefrom,againstthecurrent.Shesoonrealizedthatherhusbandwasfloatingbehind—andwassuddenlytoofarawaytoevenhearher.Sheattemptedtoswimtotheshoretogethelpbutstruggledtopushpastthecurrent."Ijustcouldn'tgetanywhere,"saidBelinda,64,whobegantoscreamoutforalifeguard.Noonecameafterafewminutes.Twoteenagegirls—Emma.14,andZoe,13—weresurfboardingneartheshore.TheywereinBarbadosaspartofaswimmingcampandbothexperiencedinthewater.ZoespottedBelinda,whowasabout85feetaway,andheardhercriesforhelp.ThetwogirlsquicklyreachedBelinda,andZoehelpedpullherontothesurfboard.TheyswamparalleltotheshoreandbroughtBelindatosafety.Belinda,gratefulbutstillscared,toldthemthatherhusbandwasstuckfartheroutintheocean.注意：（1）续写词数应为150左右；（2）请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Paragraph1：Thegirlsweretheonlyonesatthewater'sedge._______Paragraph2：Finally,theymadeittoshore._______4．（2024•安徽二模）InasmalltownlivesanoldmannamedMr.Benson.Helivesalone.Hehasabigscaronhisfacethatmakeshimlookalittlescary.Noonetalkstohim,andnoonehelpshimcarryhisthingsupthedifficultstairstohishome.Mr.Bensondoesnothaveanyfriends.Heisnotmarried.Butoneday,anewfamilymovesintotheneighborhood.Theyareanicecouple,Mr.andMrs.Clarence,andtheirchildren,AmandaandDavid.TheymoveintothebuildingwhereMr.Bensonlives.Theotherpeoplewholiveinthebuildingwelcomethenewfamily.TheysayhellotoAmandaandDavid,buttheytellthemnottotalktoMr.Benson."Heisascaryoldman.Hehasnofriendsandhehasastrangescar."Amanda,David,andtheirparentsthinkthisisverysillyadvice.WhentheyseeMr.Bensoninthehallwayorinthestreetoutsidetheirbuilding,theyalwayssayhellowithasmileandaskhowheisfeelingtoday.Mr.Bensonisveryhappytoseethem.Hetellsthemtheyarealwayswelcomeinhishome.HegivesAmandaandDavidsomedeliciouscupcakestoeat.Mr.andMrs.ClarencealwayshelpMr.Bensonwithhisgroceries,andAmandaandDavidliketositanddrinkteawithhim.Hetellswonderfulstories!Hewasonceaveryfamouschef,andhemakesthemostdeliciousdessertsinthewholeworld,inAmanda'sopinion.Oneevening,alltheneighborsinthebuildinghearlaughterandthesoundsofcupsandplatesandsilverwareinMr.Benson'sapartment.Theyareveryconfused!Itsoundslikeadelightfuldinner.Theyallwonderwhytheyarenotinvited.注意：（1）续写词数应为150左右；（2）请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Thenextday,Mrs.Clarencetalkstoherneighbors.Soon,theyallenjoyMr.Benson'sdeliciouscakeseveryweekendattheirdinners.5.（2024•凉州区校级模拟）Anotherschoolyearwasbeginning.Ihadthirteenexcitedfirstgraderseagertolearnandreadytofillmyclassroomwithlaughs,tears,andeverything.IrealizedthatIhadasmallclasssizeandgotexcitedaboutthespecialprojectswecoulddo.OneprojectthatIhadbeenparticularlyinterestedinwasfindingadoctorinDoctorsWithoutBordersasapenpalformystudents,whichcoulddefinitelybroadenmystudents'horizons.Ibeganbysendingoutane﹣mailtoourschooldistrictemployeesaskingfornamesandcontactinformationofanydoctorinDoctorsWithoutBorderswhichtheyknewof.Isentane﹣mailtoeachoneaskingifwecouldcommunicatewiththem,butonlyonereplycame：Dr.Denisar,whowasinAfricaforhumanitarianmedicalwork.Sincesix﹣year﹣olds'attentionspanswereshortandmanyofthestudentswerejustlearninghowtoreadandwrite,Ithoughtitwouldbethebesttocorrespondthroughe﹣mail.Dr.Denisarquicklybecamearewardsystem.Ifstudentspracticedandcouldreadabookfluently,Iwouldrecorditande﹣mailit.Iftheyfinishedawritingassignment,Iwouldscanitande﹣mailit.Ifstudentsweremisbehaving,Icaughtmyselfsaying,"WhatwouldDr.Denisarthinkaboutthat？"WealsousedtheinformationDr.Denisarincludedinhise﹣mailsaslearningopportunities.Aswecommunicatedwithhim,welearnedmoreabouthim,aswellashismissionsfromdiseaseoutbreakstomalnutritionofthelocals.Westartedtolightenthingsupbyrecordingsongsandjokes,andsendingartprojectsandcarepackages.Heappreciatedthecommunication.AfterDr.Denisarreturned,wecontinuedtocommunicatewithhim,asmystudentshadgotquiteattached.HepromisedthathewouldmakeatriptooursmalltowninIllinoistomeetmyclasswhenhecould.TheschoolyearwasbeginningtowrapupwhenhecontactedmeinAprilaboutcominguptovisitinMay.Forthefirsttime,webegantalkingonthephoneabouthisvisit.注意：（1）续写词数应为150左右；（2）请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Asthedayofhisvisitapproached,thekidsbegantogetnervous._____Awholemorninghadpassedbeforeweknewit._________【参考答案】1.Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.Hewenttoashop,boughtwhatheneededandhurriedtothedestinationwherethecompetitionwasbeingheld.Seatedinthehall,Johnwasquitenervousinitiallybutashestarteddrawing,hewascompletelylostinhiscreationofart.Oneminutebeforetheend,avividpictureofalivelyforestappearedonthepaper.Havingsubmittedit,Johnheadedhomecheerfullyonlytoseehismother'sangryface.Heexplainedhe'dratherskiplunchthroughthenextmonththangiveuptheopportunity,whichlefthismomworriedandspeechless.Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn'shome.Itwasfromthecompetitionorganizer,whoinformedJohn'smomthatJohnhadwonthefirstprizeworthof＄300andchancestogethisartworkdisplayedonexhibitions.Hismotherlistened,eyeswideinawe.Neverhadsheexpectedhersonshouldhavesuchatalentandperformance!Guilty,shethrewherarmsaroundhim,"Son,I'msosorry.Ialmostruinedyourdream…"Shechocked."Mom,I'llneverletyoudown.Believeme!"Johnassuredher.Fromthenon,withhismom'sfullsupport,Johnstrivedforexcellenceinhischosenfield.2.Istuckoutmyarmsandlegshopelessly,grabbingatanything.Iwasoverwhelmedwithfearandregret.IfonlyIhadbeenmorecareful!Iforcedmyselftocalmdown,pressingmyselfagainsttheslopetoslowdown.Fortunately,afewminuteslater,Icametoastoponashallowincline.Myclotheswereshredded,myhelmetwasbroken,andmyfacewasbloodiedfromcutsandscratches.Imadeanattempttostandupbutinvain.Unabletomoveaninchfurther,Ilayontheiceshiveringandinpain,waitingforrescue.AsMelmadeherwaydown,Iyelledforhelp,andotherclimberscametomyrescue.Withthemrushingtowardme,Isighedwithrelief.Theymadegreateffortstorelievemeofthesuffering.SomeofferedtosplintmylegandsomecalledPortlandMountainRescuewhileMelstayedbymyside,huggingmetightlytokeepmewarmerandlesspainful.SoexperiencedandcomfortingweretheythatIwasnolongerasfrightenedasbefore.Eventually,Iwassenttothehospital.Istayedforalongtime.However,onmyrecovery,withgreatercautionandbetterpreparationsIreturnedonthetrails.3.Thegirlsweretheonlyonesatthewater'sedge.Withouthesitation,theyturnedtheirsurfboardbacktowardthesea,determinedtofindRobert.EmmapaddledwhileZoekeptawatchfuleyeforanysignofRobert.Thecurrentwasstillstrong,butthegirlspersevered,knowingthateverysecondcounted.Afterafewtenseminutes,theyspottedRobertstrugglingagainstthewaves.Emmaquicklymaneuveredthesurfboardtowardshim,andwithZoe'sassistance,theymanagedtopullhimontotheboard.Finally,theymadeittoshore.BelindaandRobertwerebothexhaustedbutrelievedtobesafe.Theyhuggedthegirlstightly,tearsofgratitudestreamingdowntheirfaces.Thelocalswhohadwitnessedtheordealapplaudedthebraveactionsofthetwoteenagegirls.EmmaandZoesmiledshyly,happythattheyhadbeenabletohelp.Theincidenthadstrengthenedtheirbondwiththeisland,andtheyleftBarbados