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八省联考读后续写深度分析及配套练习IwasinPhiladelphiaforaconferencewhenIsawanadinthehotel.Anearbytheaterwasshowingadocumentary(纪录片)aboutseverallocalanimalsheltersthatwerehelpingtosaveabandoneddogsacrossthecountry.Iloveanimals,andIfeltanurgetogotothisfundraisingevent.However,noneofmyco-workerswouldgowithme,andIwasworriedaboutwalkingonthestreetaloneatnight.人物I,co-worker场景inPhiladelphia,aconference,hotel,theater,street事件adocumentaryaboutanimalshelters伏笔1.Otherssavedabandoneddogs;2.Iwenttothefundraisingevent;3.Iwasworriedaboutwalkingonthestreetaloneatnight.语言风格主谓宾结构,配简单从句。第一人称陈述,and用语较多。语言相对平实,情绪稳定。Iresignedmyselftospendingtheeveninginmyhotelroom,butassoonasIgotbacktomyroomIfeltrestlessandbored.Thetheaterwheretheeventwastakingplacewasonlyaboutfiveblocksfromthehotel,andtheareaaroundthehoteldidn’tseemparticularlydangerous.So,Idecidedtobraveit.Igatheredupmywalletandroomkeyandsetoff.人物I场景hotelroom,theater事件HowIpersuadedmyselftotakeastepforward.伏笔1.Ifeltrestlessandbored.2.Itdidn’tseemparticularlydangerous.3.Idecidedtogo.语言风格依旧以简单句行文,但在心理活动描写上加了笔墨。braveit是点睛之笔,可在续写处再次提及。Itwasalreadygettingdarkandthestreetswerenearlydeserted.Imanagedtofindthestreetthetheaterwason,butwhenIturnedthecorner,Istoppedinshock.Infrontofthetheaterwereagroupofbikers—verybig,tough-lookingbikers.人物I,bikers场景street,infrontofthetheater事件Ihappenedtomeetsomeunexpectedguyswhobotheredmealot.伏笔1.desertedstreets;2.inshock;3.verybig,tough-lookingbikers语言风格本段主要以描写场景、心理状态以及人物外貌的形容词,不断烘托故事的情绪氛围。I’veknownlotsofmotorcycleenthusiastsandmostarenicepeople.However,inthiscase,Iwasawomanallalone,inastrangeneighborhood,atnight,andthereweretwentyorsoverylargemen—allwearinginsignia(徽章)thatindicatedtheywereinsomesortofclub—standingbeforeme.Warningbellsbegantosoundinmyhead,andmyheartwaspounding.WasIattherighttheater?HadImisreadthedateoftheevent?人物I,bikers场景infrontofthetheater事件Ithoughtaboutthepastexperience,butwhatIsawinfrontofthetheaterleftmedisturbing.伏笔1.thecomparisonbetweenthepastandpresent;2.insigniaandsomesortofclub;3.somethinghappenedinmyheadandheart语言风格本段以心理活动为主,作者本人在面对某种“危险”时,脑海里一阵翻江倒海,各种天人交战,通过介词短语的插入语成分,以一顿一顿的方式,不断将某种紧张气氛烘托到嗓子眼。AsignoutsidethetheatertoldmethatIwasintherightplaceontherightevening.Nevertheless,IwonderedifIshouldrushbacktomyhotelinsteadofwalkingthroughthatcrowdofbikers.IfinallydecidedthatIwouldbesaferinsidethetheater.Hopefully,thebikerswouldhavegoneawaybythetimethefilmwasover.人物I,bikers场景infrontofthetheater事件Afterthinkingforawhile,Idecidedtocontinuemy“adventure”.伏笔1.thesign;2.crowdofbikers;3.safeordangerous语言风格本段继续以心理活动为主,且并未和机车手产生互动,这为后文埋下了伏笔。Ihurriedintothetheater,onlytofindtherewereevenmorebikersinside._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Whenthefilmbegan,Irealizedthatthebikerswereananimalrescuegroup._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________续写的建议:1.续写需要在文字风格上保持一定的一致性【本文续写:心理活动和场景的细节描写应该摆在首位】;2.续写应符合一定的人设【本文作者心理活动较多,则明显属于内向之人,具有一定的“社恐”属性,续写时不应过度以对话或互动形式渲染】;3.续写还要将前文的坑一一填上【本文的坑如上所述的伏笔】;4.切勿刻意升华主题【本文可着眼于机车手的前后反差对比】。5.句式结构选择:①简单句以主谓宾为主,加简单的从句或并列句;②心理描写以具体细节为主,如手、脑、眼神等等表现自己的紧张情绪;③情绪描写以形容词和介宾结构相结合的方式,需要直接表现时,用形容词;需要一定的烘托时,用介宾结构;④语选择,以伏笔的复现为最优解,最终解决前后文的冲突,消除‘震惊。6.续写两段内容:①第一段以“我”的感受和所见所闻为主,以动作和心理活动表现不断抬高“紧张”感,可借助机车手的言行给“我”带来的压迫感,来表现“我”的坐立不安;②第二段要结合纪录片的内容,揭开机车手的“真正面目”,后者可通过对这些机车手的“反差式”表现进行描写,最后以“我”的认知作为结尾,今晚不虚此行。【配套练习】1.(2024•琼海模拟)InahousefarfromthecitylivedJohnandhismother.John'sonlyhobbywaswanderinginthenearbypicturesqueforest.Initscenterwasashinyclearlakewithschoolsoffishdancinginit.Lovelyanimalssuchasdeerorrabbitswereplayingaroundandcutebirdsweresingingintrees.Fascinatedbythebeautyandlivelinessofnature,hedesiredtobecomeagreatartistandpresentallthebreath﹣takingscenestotheworld.Johnstudiedinthelocalprimaryschool.LifewasnoteasyforJohnandhismomafterhisfatherdied.Knowingwhathardworkhismotherdidtomakeendsmeet,Johnreallydidn'twanthismothertoworry.Hismotherknewthesignificanceofeducationinlifebutshewasagainsthisdreamofbecominganartist."Theprofessionofartistcan'taidapersoninmeetinghisdailyexpenses,"shewouldsay.Butaseachdaypassed,John'sdreambecamemorepassionate.Duetothelivingcircumstances,evenbuyingsomenewcolorswouldbealuxury.Johnonlyusedtheworndrawingfileandlimitedcolorsforhisdailypractice.Thoughlackingfinepaintingmaterials,henevergaveupdrawing.Hespentasignificantamountoftimestayingintheforest,secretlyperfectinghiscraft.Withcontinuoushardworkandadistinctgiftforart,hedrewbeautifully.OnedayJohnreadaboutacompetitionbeingheldinthetown,whosedeadlinewasonlytwodaysaway.Hegottheperfectopportunitytofulfillhisdesirebuthewasinadilemma(两难境地)asforthecompetitionheneededspecialpaintsandsomebrushes.Hedidn'thavethecouragetoaskhismotherformoneyasheknewherprejudiceagainstart.Thateveninghismomreturnedfromworkandhandedhimafewpapernotes,saying,"Thisisforyourlunchatschoolnextmonth."Themoneywasenoughforhisdesiredmaterials!John'sfacelitup.注意:(1)续写词数应为150左右;(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.______Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn'shome.______2.(2024•安庆模拟)Onmyfirstsummervacationasajuniorhighschoolstudent,Iclimbedmyfirstmountain—afairlygentle3,900﹣footpeaknearwhereIliveinSurrey,BritishColumbia.IwasoverweightatthetimeandoutofbreathwhenIreachedthesummit.ButIlovedthechallengeofconqueringsomethingbiggerthanmyself.SoonIclimbednearly100peaks.MyparentswerehappyI'dfinallyfoundahobby.IoftenwentclimbingwithmyfriendMelOlsen,whomI'dmetinaFacebookgroup.LastDecember,I,togetherwithMel,cametoOregontotackle11,240﹣footMountHood.It'ssafertostartwinterclimbsatnightwhenthere'slessriskofthesunmeltingthesnowpack.Thatdaywestartedat3am,followingthepathsalongsidetheskiruns.Thetemperaturewasabout14°,andweworelayerswecouldeasilyremove,knowingthesportswouldmakeuswarm.Alongtheway,wemettwootherclimbers,andthefourofuscontinuedontogether.Afteraboutfivehours,wereachedDevil'sKitchen,aplateau(高原)atabout10,000feet.Bythispoint,thewindwashowling.Myexposedskinfeltasthoughitwereburning.Theotherclimbersdecidedtoturnback,butMelandIwentahead.Wehadiceaxes,helmets,andcrampons(攀登钉鞋).Wewereinhighspiritsandpreparedfortheclimb.Thetrailwefollowedgrewnarrowerandsteeper.Ataround9am,wereachedaflightoficestep.Itwasaboutthreeorfourfeettallandslopedata75﹣degreeangle.Ivolunteeredtogofirst.Iplacedmyleftfootontheicestep.ConfidentIwassafe,Iputmyfullweightonit.Suddenly,Iheardacrack,andawholeslaboficebrokeoffthestep,rightundermyfoot.Inaninstant,IfellbackwardbeforeImadeanyresponse.IcouldhearMelcallingmynameinatremblingvoiceasItumbleddown,bouncingofftherockface,androllingdownthemountainasifIwereacharacterinavideogame.Irememberthinking:Thisisit.You'redone.注意:(1)续写词数应为150词左右;(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Istuckoutmyarmsandlegshopelessly,grabbingatanything.______AsMelmadeherwaydown,Iyelledforhelp,andotherclimberscametomyrescue.______3.(2024•遵义二模)BelindaandRobertStonewereenjoyingapeacefulafternoontogetherinBarbados—theirfavoritevacationdestination.Itwasawarmafternoon,andtheydecideditwastheperfecttimetogoforanoceanswim."Wewerefloatingaround,sayinghowenjoyablethiswas,whataterrificholiday."saidBelinda."Weswamout,notthatfarbutenoughtobeoutofourdepth."Thecouple—wholiveinLondon—arebothrelativelystrongswimmers,Belindasaid,sothey"feltfullyconfident"beingintheocean.Buttheyhadn'tconsideredjusthowstrongthecurrentwasthatparticularday.AlthoughtheyhadvisitedBarbadosseveraltimes,theydidn'trealizethespecificareatheyswamtowasknownforitsstrongriptide(激流).Thecouplenoticedthattheywerefloatinginthedirectionoftheneighboringbeach,soBelindadecidedtoswimtowardthebeachtheycamefrom,againstthecurrent.Shesoonrealizedthatherhusbandwasfloatingbehind—andwassuddenlytoofarawaytoevenhearher.Sheattemptedtoswimtotheshoretogethelpbutstruggledtopushpastthecurrent."Ijustcouldn'tgetanywhere,"saidBelinda,64,whobegantoscreamoutforalifeguard.Noonecameafterafewminutes.Twoteenagegirls—Emma.14,andZoe,13—weresurfboardingneartheshore.TheywereinBarbadosaspartofaswimmingcampandbothexperiencedinthewater.ZoespottedBelinda,whowasabout85feetaway,andheardhercriesforhelp.ThetwogirlsquicklyreachedBelinda,andZoehelpedpullherontothesurfboard.TheyswamparalleltotheshoreandbroughtBelindatosafety.Belinda,gratefulbutstillscared,toldthemthatherhusbandwasstuckfartheroutintheocean.注意:(1)续写词数应为150左右;(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Paragraph1:Thegirlsweretheonlyonesatthewater'sedge._______Paragraph2:Finally,theymadeittoshore._______4.(2024•安徽二模)InasmalltownlivesanoldmannamedMr.Benson.Helivesalone.Hehasabigscaronhisfacethatmakeshimlookalittlescary.Noonetalkstohim,andnoonehelpshimcarryhisthingsupthedifficultstairstohishome.Mr.Bensondoesnothaveanyfriends.Heisnotmarried.Butoneday,anewfamilymovesintotheneighborhood.Theyareanicecouple,Mr.andMrs.Clarence,andtheirchildren,AmandaandDavid.TheymoveintothebuildingwhereMr.Bensonlives.Theotherpeoplewholiveinthebuildingwelcomethenewfamily.TheysayhellotoAmandaandDavid,buttheytellthemnottotalktoMr.Benson."Heisascaryoldman.Hehasnofriendsandhehasastrangescar."Amanda,David,andtheirparentsthinkthisisverysillyadvice.WhentheyseeMr.Bensoninthehallwayorinthestreetoutsidetheirbuilding,theyalwayssayhellowithasmileandaskhowheisfeelingtoday.Mr.Bensonisveryhappytoseethem.Hetellsthemtheyarealwayswelcomeinhishome.HegivesAmandaandDavidsomedeliciouscupcakestoeat.Mr.andMrs.ClarencealwayshelpMr.Bensonwithhisgroceries,andAmandaandDavidliketositanddrinkteawithhim.Hetellswonderfulstories!Hewasonceaveryfamouschef,andhemakesthemostdeliciousdessertsinthewholeworld,inAmanda'sopinion.Oneevening,alltheneighborsinthebuildinghearlaughterandthesoundsofcupsandplatesandsilverwareinMr.Benson'sapartment.Theyareveryconfused!Itsoundslikeadelightfuldinner.Theyallwonderwhytheyarenotinvited.注意:(1)续写词数应为150左右;(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Thenextday,Mrs.Clarencetalkstoherneighbors.Soon,theyallenjoyMr.Benson'sdeliciouscakeseveryweekendattheirdinners.5.(2024•凉州区校级模拟)Anotherschoolyearwasbeginning.Ihadthirteenexcitedfirstgraderseagertolearnandreadytofillmyclassroomwithlaughs,tears,andeverything.IrealizedthatIhadasmallclasssizeandgotexcitedaboutthespecialprojectswecoulddo.OneprojectthatIhadbeenparticularlyinterestedinwasfindingadoctorinDoctorsWithoutBordersasapenpalformystudents,whichcoulddefinitelybroadenmystudents'horizons.Ibeganbysendingoutane﹣mailtoourschooldistrictemployeesaskingfornamesandcontactinformationofanydoctorinDoctorsWithoutBorderswhichtheyknewof.Isentane﹣mailtoeachoneaskingifwecouldcommunicatewiththem,butonlyonereplycame:Dr.Denisar,whowasinAfricaforhumanitarianmedicalwork.Sincesix﹣year﹣olds'attentionspanswereshortandmanyofthestudentswerejustlearninghowtoreadandwrite,Ithoughtitwouldbethebesttocorrespondthroughe﹣mail.Dr.Denisarquicklybecamearewardsystem.Ifstudentspracticedandcouldreadabookfluently,Iwouldrecorditande﹣mailit.Iftheyfinishedawritingassignment,Iwouldscanitande﹣mailit.Ifstudentsweremisbehaving,Icaughtmyselfsaying,"WhatwouldDr.Denisarthinkaboutthat?"WealsousedtheinformationDr.Denisarincludedinhise﹣mailsaslearningopportunities.Aswecommunicatedwithhim,welearnedmoreabouthim,aswellashismissionsfromdiseaseoutbreakstomalnutritionofthelocals.Westartedtolightenthingsupbyrecordingsongsandjokes,andsendingartprojectsandcarepackages.Heappreciatedthecommunication.AfterDr.Denisarreturned,wecontinuedtocommunicatewithhim,asmystudentshadgotquiteattached.HepromisedthathewouldmakeatriptooursmalltowninIllinoistomeetmyclasswhenhecould.TheschoolyearwasbeginningtowrapupwhenhecontactedmeinAprilaboutcominguptovisitinMay.Forthefirsttime,webegantalkingonthephoneabouthisvisit.注意:(1)续写词数应为150左右;(2)请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Asthedayofhisvisitapproached,thekidsbegantogetnervous._____Awholemorninghadpassedbeforeweknewit._________【参考答案】1.Earlythenextmorning,Johnsecretlylefthomewiththemoney.Hewenttoashop,boughtwhatheneededandhurriedtothedestinationwherethecompetitionwasbeingheld.Seatedinthehall,Johnwasquitenervousinitiallybutashestarteddrawing,hewascompletelylostinhiscreationofart.Oneminutebeforetheend,avividpictureofalivelyforestappearedonthepaper.Havingsubmittedit,Johnheadedhomecheerfullyonlytoseehismother'sangryface.Heexplainedhe'dratherskiplunchthroughthenextmonththangiveuptheopportunity,whichlefthismomworriedandspeechless.Aweeklater,aphonecallcametoJohn'shome.Itwasfromthecompetitionorganizer,whoinformedJohn'smomthatJohnhadwonthefirstprizeworthof$300andchancestogethisartworkdisplayedonexhibitions.Hismotherlistened,eyeswideinawe.Neverhadsheexpectedhersonshouldhavesuchatalentandperformance!Guilty,shethrewherarmsaroundhim,"Son,I'msosorry.Ialmostruinedyourdream…"Shechocked."Mom,I'llneverletyoudown.Believeme!"Johnassuredher.Fromthenon,withhismom'sfullsupport,Johnstrivedforexcellenceinhischosenfield.2.Istuckoutmyarmsandlegshopelessly,grabbingatanything.Iwasoverwhelmedwithfearandregret.IfonlyIhadbeenmorecareful!Iforcedmyselftocalmdown,pressingmyselfagainsttheslopetoslowdown.Fortunately,afewminuteslater,Icametoastoponashallowincline.Myclotheswereshredded,myhelmetwasbroken,andmyfacewasbloodiedfromcutsandscratches.Imadeanattempttostandupbutinvain.Unabletomoveaninchfurther,Ilayontheiceshiveringandinpain,waitingforrescue.AsMelmadeherwaydown,Iyelledforhelp,andotherclimberscametomyrescue.Withthemrushingtowardme,Isighedwithrelief.Theymadegreateffortstorelievemeofthesuffering.SomeofferedtosplintmylegandsomecalledPortlandMountainRescuewhileMelstayedbymyside,huggingmetightlytokeepmewarmerandlesspainful.SoexperiencedandcomfortingweretheythatIwasnolongerasfrightenedasbefore.Eventually,Iwassenttothehospital.Istayedforalongtime.However,onmyrecovery,withgreatercautionandbetterpreparationsIreturnedonthetrails.3.Thegirlsweretheonlyonesatthewater'sedge.Withouthesitation,theyturnedtheirsurfboardbacktowardthesea,determinedtofindRobert.EmmapaddledwhileZoekeptawatchfuleyeforanysignofRobert.Thecurrentwasstillstrong,butthegirlspersevered,knowingthateverysecondcounted.Afterafewtenseminutes,theyspottedRobertstrugglingagainstthewaves.Emmaquicklymaneuveredthesurfboardtowardshim,andwithZoe'sassistance,theymanagedtopullhimontotheboard.Finally,theymadeittoshore.BelindaandRobertwerebothexhaustedbutrelievedtobesafe.Theyhuggedthegirlstightly,tearsofgratitudestreamingdowntheirfaces.Thelocalswhohadwitnessedtheordealapplaudedthebraveactionsofthetwoteenagegirls.EmmaandZoesmiledshyly,happythattheyhadbeenabletohelp.Theincidenthadstrengthenedtheirbondwiththeisland,andtheyleftBarbados
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