2017中考一模（记叙文）【教师版】

第页2019宝山一模Writeapassageofatleast60wordsonthetopic“MyPocketMoney”.（以“我的零花钱”为题写一篇不少于60个词的短文，标点符号不占格。）（学校举办主题为“MyPocketMoney”的英语征文活动，请你就以下三个方面谈谈自己的看法）Usethefollowingpointsasaguide（短文须包含以下要点）1)Howmuchpocketmoneydoyouhaveeverymonth?2)Howdoyouusuallyspendyourpocketmoney?3)Howcanyoumanageyourpocketmoneybetter?（注意：短文中不得出现考生的姓名、校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。）审题分析：根据题目要求，本文是一篇针对pocketmoney展开描述的生活类作文，要求讲述自己零花钱的情况和更好管理零花钱的方式。本文开头应先引入零花钱这一话题，然后过渡到自身的情况介绍。在内容较多的部分要注意层次和连词。案例分析：此处添加学生案例范文范文点评：MyPocketMoneyAsfamiliesarenowlivingabetterlife,almosteverychildhassomepocketmoney.Asforme,Iusuallyhave300yuaneverymonth,whichIcanusetobuybreakfast，tobuysomereferencebooks,tohangoutwithfriendsandsoon.However,whatcanIdotomanagethepocketmoneybetter?Firstly，makingaplanatthebeginningofeverymonthcanhelpmedevelopagoodhabitofnotspendingmoneywastefully.Inaddition,keepingtheaccountscanhelptrackmoneyeasily.Inbrief,aslongasIfollowtheaboveways,Icanmanagethepocketmoneymorewisely.作文提纲：句子内容关键词/句开头引入①as;liveabetterlife自身情况介绍②asforme;300-yuanpocketmoney花钱方式③，whichIcanusetodo,todo,todoandsoon.管理零花钱④However具体方式一⑤First;makeaplan具体方式一⑥Inaddition;keepaccounts总结⑦Inbrief,语言进阶：非限制性定语从句Iusuallyhave300yuaneverymonth,whichIcanusetobuybreakfast，… 定语从句有限制性和非限制性两种。限制性定语从句是先行词不可缺少的部分，去掉它主句意思往往不明确；限制性定语从句起补充说明作用，是先行词的附加说明，缺少也不会影响全句的理解，它与主句往往用逗号隔开。关系词分关系代词和关系副词，关系代词that，which，who，whom，whose在定语从句中充当主语，宾语，表语或者定语，关系副词where，when，why在定语从句中充当地点，时间和原因状语，关系副词可以用介词+which代替。本句为which引导的非限制性定语从句，和主句用逗号隔开，关系which可以代替前面的名词也可指代整句话，本句中which指代300yuan。可以在作文中用来合并简单句。词典例句：Increasingteenagersarenowaddictedtoelectronicbooks，whichmakesparentsworried.越来越多的青少年沉迷于电子书，这让父母们很担忧。（which指代主句）Ihavekepttheviolinfortenyears，whichwasboughtbymyfatherasabirthdaypresent.这个小提琴已经跟随我十年了，这是我爸爸作为礼物卖给我的。练习：Ericreceivedtrainingincomputerforoneyear,____________hefoundajobinabigcompany.A.afterthat B.afterwhich C.afterit D.afterthisBetweenthetwopartsoftheconcertisaninterval,____________theaudiencecanbuyice-cream.A.when B.where C.that D.which答案：B;A翻译巩固：我经常忘了带作业，这让老师非常生气。____________________________________________________越来越多的中国人能够说英语了，这对于中国的发展来说是一件好事。____________________________________________________在上海高峰期的时候经常会有交通堵塞，这给人们的生活带来很多的不便。____________________________________________________1.Ioftenforgettotakemyhomework，whichmakesmyteacherveryangry.2.MoreandmoreChineseareabletospeakEnglish，whichisagoodthingforChina’sdevelopment.3.ThereareoftentrafficjamsduringpeakhoursinShanghai,whichbroughtmuchinconveniencetopeople’slife.developagoodhabitofnot(doing)…“养成(不)做…的好习惯”也可以用gointoagoodhabitof…；如果是“戒掉…的坏习惯”可以说“getridofthebadhabitofdoing…”词典例句：Weshouldpaymoreattentiontoourenvironmentinthehopethatitwillbebetterandcleaner.我们应该更关注环境，为了环境变得更好更干净。Wewilldonatethemoneytothestudentsinremoteareainthehopethattheywillhaveabrightfuture.我们将会把钱捐给偏远地区的学生，希望他们有一个美好的未来。翻译巩固：孩子们应该养成节约水的好习惯。______________________________________________________________________________我小时候就养成了收拾用过的东西的好习惯。______________________________________________________________________________养成今日事今日毕的好习惯会让你受益终生。______________________________________________________________________________IgotupearlyinthehopethatIcouldcatchthefirstbus.MyparentsworkhardinthehopethatIcanhaveacomfortablelife.Itwillbealifelongbenefitforyoutodevelopagoodhabitofnotputtingoffwhatyoucandotodaytilltomorrow.aslongas“只要”，用来引导条件状语从句，比if的语气更强。如果描述将来事件，时态也需要注意主将从现。词典例句：Aslongaswehaveconfidenceinourselves，wecanachievewhatwewant.只要我们对自己有信心，就能获得我们想要的东西。Iarguethataslongasyoutryhard，youcandoalmostanything.我认为只要你努力尝试，你任何事情几乎都可以做到。翻译巩固：只要你能够持续做一件事情100天，就可以把它变成习惯。______________________________________________________________________________只要你按照我给你的建议做，你就会发现和同学和睦相处不是什么难事。______________________________________________________________________________学习去理解别人并不困难，只要你愿意认真地站在对方的角度看问题。______________________________________________________________________________Aslongasyoucandothesamethingfor100days，youcanchangeitintoahabit.Aslongasyoutakemyadvice，youwillfinditnotsodifficulttogetalongwellwithclassmates.Learningtounderstandothersisnotdifficult，aslongasyouarewillingtoseriouslystandinothers’pointofview.

二次修改：__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2019嘉定一模Writeapassageofatleast60wordsaboutthetopic“Iwanttogive______agift”（以“我想给________一份礼物”为题写一篇不少于60词的短文，标点符号不占格。）在过去的日子里，你一定体验过收到礼物的欣喜和愉悦。在新年伊始，你最想给谁送一份礼物，并谈谈为什么要送这份礼物。（注意：1、在答题纸上将题目补充完整。2、短文中不得出现任何人名、校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。）Thefollowingisforreferenceonly.（以下表达仅供参考）Iwanttogivehim/herthegiftbecause...Itwillbeuseful/necessary/helpfulto...审题分析：根据题目要求，这是一篇本命题作文。必须包括礼物的内容和原因两部分。案例分析：此处添加学生案例范文范文点评：IwanttogivemymotheragiftMymotherhasdevotedherselftoourfamilysinceIwasborn.AtthebeginningofNewYear,Ireallywanttogivemymotherarobotcleanerasagiftforthefollowingreasons:Firstly,sheistoobusywiththehouseworktohaveenoughrestsometimes.Thismachinecanhelphersweepthefloor,whichhelpshersavemuchtime.Furthermore,shewillhavemoreenergylefttodowhatshelikes,thesquaredancing,withthismachinehelpingher.Tosumup,thoughitwilltakeallmypocketmoneytobuyarobotcleanerasagiftformymother,IfeelsohappyImadethisdecisionbecausenothingismoreimportantthanmakingmymotherhappy.作文提纲：句子内容关键词/句开头引入我出生以来，我的妈妈为这个家贡献了很多（devoteherselfto）。给出主题②新年伊始，我想为我妈妈买一个扫地机器人作为礼物（atthebeginningof,robotcleaner）。解释说明③首先，她有时忙于做家务以至于没有足够时间去休息（firstly,too…to,bebusywith,enough+n.），这个机器能帮她扫地，同时也帮她节约了很多时间（sweepthefloor,savemuchtime）。解释说明④而且不用扫地的话，我妈妈能有更多的时间去做他喜欢做的事情：广场舞（furthermore,haveenergytodo,squaredancing,withoutdoingsth）。总结体会⑨综上所述，尽管我要花费所有的零花钱去买一个扫地机器人作为礼物给我的妈妈，但我很开心自己做了这个决定，因为没有什么比让我妈妈开心更重要了（Tosumup,though…(与but不能连用)，ittakesmetime/moneytodo,makeadecision,nothingisimportantthandoingsth）。语言进阶：现在分词作伴随状语Furthermore,shewillhavemoreenergylefttodowhatshelikes,thesquaredancing,withthismachinehelpingher.with引导伴随状语，with的复合结构可以分以下几种:with+名词+形容词.表处于一种状态.Heoftensleepswithwindowsopen.with+名词+副词.Thereisatemplewithnotablein.with+名词+介词短语.Theteachercameintotheclassroomwithabookunderhisarm.with+名词+现在分词.这种结构表动作的主动和进行态.Theoldwomanlefttheherhousewithwaterrunningallthetime.with+名词+过去分词,这种结构表被动和完成.with+名词+不定式,这种结构表将来要做的动作.Themanagerhasbeenbusythesedayswithalotofworktodo.词典例句：Theteachercameintotheclassroomwithapileofnotebooksinhishand..老师手里拿着一摞笔记本进来了教室。Thethiefwastakentothepolicestationwithhishandstiedtohisback.那个小偷被带到了警局，手被绑在后面。练习：1.Withnothing_____home,theboywasafraidtoseehismother.take B.taking C.taken D.totake2.______productionupby60%,thecompanyhashadanotherexcellentyear.A.As B.Have C.Because D.With答案：CD翻译巩固：所有的灯亮起来，广场看起来更美了_______________________________________________________________________________随着这个问题的解决，一个对人类很有用的发明被创造出来了。_______________________________________________________________________________Tom在教室前面做演讲的时候非常紧张，全班的同学都在盯着他看。_______________________________________________________________________________1.Thesquarelooksmorebeautifulwithallthelightson.2.Withtheproblemsolved，aninventionwhichisveryhelpfultohumanbeingwascreated.3.Withthewholeclassstaringathim，Tomfeltextremelynervouswhenheaddressedaspeechinfrontoftheclassroom.过去分词作后置定语theenergyleft“剩余的精力”在这里left为过去分词，修饰theenergy，可以理解为theenergythatisleft.；leave也可以用来遗留，放在，所以left也可用来修饰名词表示“放在…的…”词典例句：Ispentthemoneyleftbuyingmymomascarf.我用剩下的钱给妈妈买了一个围巾。Thepurseleftonthechairbesidethedoorisgone，whichsurprisedmealot.放在门旁边凳子上的钱包不见了，这让我非常吃惊。翻译巩固：我用光了钱包里剩余的所有钱。_______________________________________________________________________________你看到过放在抽屉里的一本集邮册吗？_______________________________________________________________________________这个瓶子剩余的水太少了以至于我们在穿越沙漠期间必须节省每一滴水。_______________________________________________________________________________1.Ihaveusedupallthemoneyleftinthepurse.2.Haveyoueverseenthestampcollectionleftinthedrawer？3.Thewaterleftinthebottlewassolittlethatwehadtosaveevenadropofitwhenwecrossedthedesert.devote…to…致力于…/献身于… 可以用来替换contributeto，但是devote为及物动词，后面必须接宾语，可以说devoteone’slifeto或者devoteoneselfto等；另外，to为介词，后面加名词或者动名词。词典例句：Hedecidedtodevotetherestofhislifetoscienceresearch.他决定把余生献给科学事业。Howmanyhoursandhowmuchmoneydoyourteamdevotetothisproject?你们团队在这个项目上投入了多少时间和金钱？翻译巩固：1.很多老师把自己献给了教育事业。____________________________________________________2.我整天的时间都花在这个模型船上了。____________________________________________________3.我发现投入大量大的时间去寻找我感兴趣的和帮助我学习的图书是很有用的。____________________________________________________1.Manyteachersdevotethemselvestotheeducation.2.Ihavedevotedthewholedaytothemodelship.3.Ifinditbeneficialtodevotealotoftimetosearchingforbooksthatinterestmeandbooksthatarehelpfultomystudy.二次修改：__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2019虹口一模Writeapassageofatleast60wordsonthetopic“Besidesstudy,Ialsopayattentionto…”（以“除了学习，我还关注……”为题，写一篇不少于60个词的短文，标点符号不占格）除了学习，你还关注什么？你怎么想的？怎么做的？请说明理由。审题分析：本题围绕学习以外的关注点展开，可以从个人兴趣爱好入手。尽量回答每个问题，如首先要在作文开头点明课外的兴趣爱好，再写出为什么会关注这一爱好的理由（或好处），接着介绍自己平时是如何进行这一爱好的，在行文时最好用适当的连接词连接上下文，注意句意通顺合理。在写作前可以先针对问题列下提纲（以免写后涂涂改改），在列下可以适当用上的词组增加文采，写后要注意对拼写，大小写以及语法错误的检查。案例分析：Besidesstudy,IalsopayattentiontodetectivenovelsBesidesstudy,Ialsopayattentiontodetectivenovels.Topractisemythinkingability,Itookupthishobbyfouryearsago.Ioftenreadthesebooksinschoollibraryinmysparetime.Ithinkreadvarietiesofdetectivenovelscanbroadenmymindandcanimprovelogic.范文点评：Besidesstudy,IalsopayattentiontosportsAsaJuniorThreestudentunderstressfromstudy,ItrytoseekawaytorelaxandenjoymyselfsothatIcanbephysicallyandmentallyhealthy.Therefore,besidesstudy,Ialsopayattentiontosports.IchoosetoplaybasketballinP.E.lessons.Inthisway,Icanplaywithmyclassmatestodevelopnotonlyskillsofplayingbasketballbutalsoourfriendship.Ialsogojoggingafterclasseveryday.Irunaroundmyschoolafterclass,whichmakesmefeelrefreshed,energeticandmoreconfidentaboutmyself.Sportsteachmetobeahealthierandmoreactivepersontospendeverydayhappily,soI’mdelightedtofindinterestinthembesidesstudy.作文提纲：句子内容关键词/句开头引入①有学习压力(stressfromstudy)，自我放松的方法(awaytorelaxoneself)，身心健康(bephysicallyandmentallyhealthy)，关注运动。介绍运动1及好处②和同学一起玩篮球(playbasketballwithclassmates)，发展友谊(developfriendship)，提高篮球技能(improveskillsofplayingbasketball)。介绍运动2及好处③慢跑(gojogging)，感到精力充沛(feelenergetic)，感到更自信(feelmoreconfident)。总结④总结运动给我的好处：让每天过得快乐(spendeverydayhappily)，让自己更健康、积极(beamorehealthyandactiveperson)。进行体育运动的其他好处：①helpmebemorefocusedonstudy②practicemytiredbodyandliveamorebalancedlife③beabletoprotectmyselffromdangerwhenwalkinginthedark④knowmoreaboutteamwork⑤getbetterscoresintheP.E.exams语言进阶：which非限制性定语从句解析：which引导定语从句的一种用法是，which前加逗号，指代逗号前一整句话，which在从句中作主语，可以翻译成“这件事”，从句中的谓语注意用三单。含以上可以理解为，逗号后的一整个句子在修饰逗号前的句子，或是在补充说明前一件事所产生的影响等等。词典例句：Shegothomelateatnight,whichmadehermotherangryandworried.她晚上很晚到家，这让她的妈妈又生气又担心。ScienceandtechnologyisdevelopingrapidlyinChina,whichmakesChinesepeopleproud.中国的科技正在迅速发展，这让中国人们很自豪。翻译巩固：1.她喜欢交各种朋友并且对人友善，这让她在人群中很受欢迎。_______________________________________________________________________________2.她喜欢读古诗，这让她十分熟悉中国传统文化。_______________________________________________________________________________3.这部电影得了很多奖，这使得这部电影在全世界闻名。_______________________________________________________________________________Shelikestomakefriendswithvariouspeopleandiskindtopeople,whichmakesherpopularamongthem.Shelikesreadingancientpoems,whichmakesherfamiliarwithChinesetraditionalculture.Thisfilmwonmanyawards,whichmadeitwell-knownallaroundtheworld.sothat引导状语从句含义：为了……用法：sothat作为连词连接两句完整的句子，前一句是措施，后一句表目的，表目的的句子里常用“can”，“could”等情态动词。近义词：inorderthat词典例句：Hegoesovertextbookseverydaysothathecanbeadmittedintoanidealseniorhighschooloneday.他每日勤奋温书，就是为了有朝一日能进入理想的高中。Shecompletestasksefficientlyeverytimesothatshecanspendmoretimedevelopingherhobbies.为了有更多的时间培养兴趣，她课后每次都高效地完成任务。翻译巩固：1.汤姆为了强身健体，每天都去健身房锻炼。_______________________________________________________________________________2.为了能减轻压力，他经常听轻音乐、读小说书。_______________________________________________________________________________3.为了能够捕捉生活中的美，他经常拿起相机在公园中拍摄鲜花的照片。_______________________________________________________________________________1.Tomdoesexerciseinthegymeverydaysothathecanstrengthenhisbody.2.Heoftenenjoyslightmusicandreadsnovelssothathecanrelievestress.3.Heoftencarrieshiscameraandtakespicturesoffreshflowersintheparksothathecancatchthebeautyoflife.Therefore含义：因此，于是。近义词：thus,asaresult词典例句：Theircarwasbiggerandthereforemorecomfortable.他们的车更大，因此也更舒服。Progresssofarhasbeenverygood.Therefore,weareconfidentthattheworkwillbecompletedontime.目前进度非常顺利。因此，我们很自信工作会准时完成的。翻译巩固：1.他们从小一起长大，因此，他们的关系非常密切。_______________________________________________________________________________2.水是生命之源，因此我们必须小心使用水。_______________________________________________________________________________3.人人生而平等，因此我们必须互相尊重。_______________________________________________________________________________1.Theyhavegrownuptogethersincetheywereyoung,andtherefore,theirrelationshipisveryclose.2.Wateristhesourceoflife,andthereforewemustbecarefulwhenweusewater.3.Everyoneisbornequal,andthereforewemustrespecteachother.二次修改：__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2019奉贤一模Writeatleast60wordsonthetopic“Amoving__________of2019”.(以“2019年，让我感动的___________”为题，写一篇不少于60个词的短文，标点符号不占格)。盘点即将过去的2019年，你一定经历了许许多多的感动：一句温暖的话、一个会意的眼神，一份特别的礼物，一个温馨的画面请你选取最触动你心弦的部分，写下来与大家分享。（注意：短文中不得出现任何人名、校名及其它相关信息，否则不予评分。）审题分析：本题适合写叙述文，注意时态，重点是突出“moving”（感人的）的特点，还有注意事情发生在2019年，可以描述令你感动的物件、事件或人等等，如一件礼物，一场电影，一本书，一个人，用描写和叙事的方式把“感人”的特点体现出来，然后可以加些表示感情或态度的词语增强文章的立体性，如moving,touching,unforgettable等等。案例分析：此处添加学生案例范文范文点评：Amovingpresentof2019Nowadays,withthedevelopmentoftechnology,mostofuswouldliketohaveamobilephoneasagiftbutwhatmyfathergivesmeisanotherone.WhenIgotintothelastyearofjuniormiddleschool,heboughtmeablackwatchinsteadofamobilephone.Whathetoldmeonthatdayisstillfreshinmymind.Hesaidthatifyougetupandgotobedontimeeveryday,yourstudyandworkwillbemoreefficientandorganized,anddonotdependonyourelectronicequipmenttoomuch,whichnotonlyencouragedmebutalsomovedmealot.Theclockisamovingpresentof2019.作文提纲：句子关键词/句背景介绍①随着...发展withthedevelopmentof,nowadays如今主题引入②whatmyfathergivesmeis我爸爸给我的衔接词语③however然而,so所以,but但是,insteadof而是,notonlybutalso不仅而且具体例子④clock闹钟论点一⑤studyandwork工作和学习,efficientandorganized效率地和有组织地感受⑥encouraged鼓励,moved感动的点题⑦XXisamovingpresentof2019，2019年最感人的礼物拓展词组：moreandmore越来越多的……devote...to贡献……Itis+adj.+todosth做某事是……OnonehandOntheotherhand一方面……另一方面……timeandeffort时间和精力Greatthingsmaybedonebymasseffort.众人拾柴火焰高语言进阶：what引导主语从句结构：What+从句谓语+主句谓语。解析：what在从句中是主语，“What+从句谓语”在主句里充当主语。含义：其实包含了这一语法点的句子表明了what的2个特点，因为主句和从句的主语都与what相关，what可以代指物品或事情，具体用法可以参考例句。词典例句：WhatmademeworriedwasthatImightmisstheschoolbus.让我担心的是我可能会错过校车。Whatattractedmewasthathesatinthesameseateveryday.吸引我注意力的是他每天都会坐在餐厅的同一个位置上。练习：Whatisimportanttome___________unnecessarytohim.seems B.seem C.has D.Are_________playsamoreimportantroleinstudyisrevision.A.It B.What C.Who D.Why答案：AB翻译巩固：1.发生在我5岁的事令我十分难忘。_______________________________________________________________________________2.对她来说最重要的就是始终给她以支持的家庭。_______________________________________________________________________________3.我们都知道，由于科技的快速发展，世界正在面临巨大的变迁，这导致人们不断面临新的挑战。_______________________________________________________________________________1.WhathappenedwhenIwasfivewasveryunforgettabletome.2.Whatismostimportanttoherisherfamilywhichgiveshersupportallthetime.3.Whatisknowntoallofusisthatourworldisfacinggreatchangesduetotherapiddevelopmentofscienceandtechnology,whichcausespeopletofacenewchallengesconstantly.With引导伴随状语词典例句：Withthedevelopmentoftechnology,it’sincreasinglyconvenientformodernpeopletocontacteachother.随着技术的发展，现代人相互联系变得越来越方便。Withthegrowthofeducationsystem,it’spossibletohaveclassesontheinternetandgraduatefromonlineschool.随着教育系统的发展，在网上上课并且从网校毕业变得可能。翻译巩固：1.伴随着人们对环境污染的担忧，越来越多人开始从小事做起来保护环境。_______________________________________________________________________________2.随着小说的进展，人们对结局越来越感到有兴趣了。_______________________________________________________________________________3.手机的普及让越来越多的学生开始沉迷于在手机上玩游戏、看小说。_______________________________________________________________________________1.Withpeople’sworryaboutenvironmentalpollution,moreandmorepeoplestarttoprotectenvironmentfromsmallacts.2.Withtheprogressofthenovel,peoplegetmoreandmorecuriousabouttheending.3.Withthespreadofcellphones,increasingstudentsbegintobeaddictedtoplayinggamesandreadingnovelswiththeirphones.词组notonly...butalso含义：不仅……而且……注意：并列主语时，注意就近原则；并列谓语时，注意谓语三单和时态统一。词典例句：NotonlyyoubutalsoIamresponsiblefortheresult.不光是你，还有我对这个结果有责任。Shenotonlyenjoysreadingessays,butalsolikeswatchingTVprograms.她不光喜欢读散文，还喜欢看电视节目。翻译巩固：1.这段回忆不光让我学到一个教训，而且给我的未来指明了方向。_______________________________________________________________________________2.这份珍贵的礼物不仅让我喜欢，而且有教育的意义。_______________________________________________________________________________3.不仅学生，老师们也应该每日学习，以求每日进步。_______________________________________________________________________________1.Thememorynotonlyletmelearnalesson,butalsotoldmewheretogointhefuture.2.Thisvaluablepresentnotonlywonmypreference,butalsohadameaningofeducation.3.Notonlystudentsbutalsoteachersshouldstudyeverydayinordertomakeprogressdaybyday.二次修改：__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2019徐汇一模Write

a

passage

on

the

topic

“When

I

Grow

Up”

in

at

least

60

words.

成长对你意味着什么？长大后的你会是怎样？请以“当我长大后”为题写一篇至少60个字的短文。（标点符号不占格）（注意：短文中不得出现任何人名，校名及其他相关信息，否则不予评分。）审题分析：徐汇区此次的作文走畅想路线，话题给的比较明确，可写的范围也比较广，切合学生的生活。相比去年的图片分析类作文，今年的这篇文章确实比较容易下笔，学生只要言之有物，应该不会有太大的审题偏差。本文开头应先引入长大和现状的不同，然后过渡到个人应当如何去做。在内容较多的部分要注意层次和连词。案例分析：WhenIGrowUpEveryonehasadream,Iamexception.WhenIgrowup,Iliketobeadoctor.BecauseIwanttohelpothers,andadoctor’sjobistosavepeople.Inordertobeadoctor,Iwillstudyharderthanbefore.AndIwilltrymybesttohelpothers,too.Ithinkbeadoctorwillbehelpfultoothers,soIwanttobeadoctorinthefuture范文点评：WhenIGrowUpIamalwayscuriousaboutwhatIamgoingtobeinthefuture.GrowingupmeansIcandomanyusefulthingstothesocietyandIshouldtakeresponsibilityformyself.Ifpossible,Iwanttobeadoctorinthefuturebecausetherearesomanypeoplewhoaresufferingfromvariousincurablediseases.IhopeIcantrymybesttocurethesepatients.Inordertorealizethisdream,Imuststudyhardernowandbemorematureandmoreintelligent.IamreallysurethatIwillmakeitcometruewhenIgrowup.作文提纲：句子内容关键词/句开头引入①Growing

up

means

I

can

do

many

useful

things主题引入②If

possible,

I

want

to

be阐述原因③because

如何实现④In

order

to

realize

this

dream,语言进阶：If

加形容词的省略Ifpossible,Iwanttobeadoctorinthefuture…if+形容词这类结构通常可视为在if与形容词之间省略了“主语+动词be的适当形式”。Sendthegoodsnowifready.=Sendthegoodsnowiftheyareready.货物如已备好，请即送来。

Iftrue,thiswillcauseusalotoftrouble.=Ifitistrue,thiswillcauseusalotoftrouble.这事若是事实，它将给我们造成许多麻烦。词典例句：Ifnecessary,ringmeathome.如果必要，可往我家里打电话。Ifpossible,letmeknowbeforehand.如果可能，可在事前通知我。写作建议：这类省略结构中有的已构成相对固定的搭配，ifnecessary(如果需要)，ifpossible(如果可能)等。翻译巩固：如果是真的，请立马给我打电话_______________________________________________________________________________如果可能的话，我会采取医生的意见及时做手术_______________________________________________________________________________我们愿意授权总统在必要的时候使用武力_______________________________________________________________________________Iftrue,pleasecallmeimmediately.Iwillacceptthedoctor’sadvicetooperateontimeifpossible.Wearewillingtoauthorizethepresidenttouseforceifnecessarybecurious

aboutbe

curious

about

对…感到好奇,用来替换wanttokonw词典例句：Childrentendtobecuriousaboutthingstheysee.儿童往往会对们所看到的事物感到好奇Tomtobecuriousabouthowthingswork?汤姆好奇事物怎样工作写作建议：注意与becuriousof区分becuriousof好奇的翻译巩固：不要对别人的事情感到好奇。_______________________________________________________________________________我仅仅好奇你的礼物里到底是什么。_______________________________________________________________________________去探索真实的自己并对看到的你自己保持好奇心_______________________________________________________________________________1.Don’tbecuriousaboutother’sbusiness2.Ijustcuriousaboutwhat’sinsideyourpresents3.ToallowyourselftoexploreandbecuriousaboutwhatyouseeinyourselfIn

order

to

Inorderto意思为“为了…”，可以替换soasto,sothat位置比较灵活，可用于句中或句末，此处提前，表示强调，词典例句：I

got

up

early

inorderto

catchthe

first

train.

我清早起床为的是赶上第一班火车。He

listens

attentivelyinorder

not

to

miss

a

single

word.

他聚精会神地听着，不让漏掉一个字。写作建议：可以用于表示目的／为了／使…翻译巩固：为了确保成功，我们必须有一个完整周密的计划。_______________________________________________________________________________为达成自己的目的，他们说不定已经做好了伤害你的准备。_______________________________________________________________________________要达到这个限度，还有很多技术问题必须解决。_______________________________________________________________________________inordertoensuresuccesswemusthaveacompleteandthoroughplanTheymightwellbepreparedtodoyouharminordertoachievetheirpurposeInordertoreachthislimitanumberoftechnicalproblemswillhavetobesolved.二次修改：__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2019松江一模Writeatleast60wordsonthetopicIwanttosay“______”tomy______”.（以我想对________说“_______”）为题写一篇不少于60词的短文，标点符号不占格。）

有些话你可能和自己的家人、老师、朋友或同学面对面的时候不好意思说，或者错过了时机没有说，此时此刻你想对他们说什么？请你举例说明为什么要说这句话。审题分析：根据题目要求，本文是一篇半命题作文，写出想对某人说的话，发挥空间较大，合理即可应当直入主题，写出这个人是谁，并且想要说什么在内容较多的部分要注意层次和连词。案例分析：IwanttosaythankstomyparentsTherearetwopeoplelovemebest.Theyaremyfatherandmother.Inthemorning,mymotheralwayswakesupearlierandshepreparebreakfasttome.AlthoughIoftenwakeuplate,shealwaysaskmetofinishthemup.WhenIgobackhomefromschool,myfathercooksdinner.Hedoesn’thavecooklicensebuthecancookverywell.SoIlovemyparentsandtheygivealltheirlovetome.Iwanttosaythankstomyparents.范文点评：Iwanttosaythankstomymother Iwanttosaythankstomymother.IhaveagreatmotherandIloveherquitealot.Shegavemelifetoletmeseethiscolorfulworldandexperienceallkindsofpainandhappiness.Besides,shecaresforallthedetailsofmydailylifeandmystudy.Inthemorning,shegetsupearlytomakebreakfastforme.WhenIwaslittle,shepreparedmyschoolbag.Afterschool,whenIfinishmyhomework,shechecksitandpointsoutthemistakes.Sheisverycarefulandhelpsmealot.Iwilldomuchbetterinthefutureandneverletherdownagain.作文提纲：句子内容关键词/句开头引入①Iwanttosaythankstomymother主题引入②IhaveagreatmotherandIloveher分论点引入③shecaresforallthedetailsofmydailylifeandmystudy举例说明④shechecksitandpointsoutthemistakes总结⑤Iwilldomuchbetterinthefutureandnevermakeherdownagain.语言进阶：quitealotquitealot非常，用来替换very，verymuchalot前可被such,what,quite,rather饰,词典例句：Thisisquitealot.这真多Theyattractquitealotofattention.他们吸引写作建议：可用于各类作文，应用广泛翻译巩固：我非常喜欢他。_______________________________________________________________________________Tom一看到我就给了我非常多好吃的东西。_______________________________________________________________________________我注意到很多人提问这个方面，但是我的答案是一样的_______________________________________________________________________________Ilikehimquitealot.Tomgivesmequitealottoeatassoonasheseesme.Inoticedthatquitealotofpeoplequestionthisaspect,butmyansweristhesame.pointout表示的是给某人指示方向，要点或错误等，意思为指出，可替