第1册第8单元clean copy-新世纪大学英语（第二版）综合教程第1册Unit8（试用版）

ElectronicTeachingPortfolio

BookOne

UnitEight:GenderDifferencesandCommunication

PartIGetStarted

SectionADiscussion

,Sitingroupsofthreesorfoursanddiscussthefollowingquestions.

1.Doyouthinktherearedifferencesinhowmenandwomentalk?Ifyes,whataresomeofthedifferences

youhavenoticed?

2.Doyoufinditeasierormoredifficulttocommunicatewithpeopleoftheoppositesex?Why?

3.Whydoyouthinkmenandwomendifferfromoneanotherintheirwayofcommunication?

4.Doyouthinkthatmenandwomenusecomputersandotherelectronicdevices(suchasmobilephones)

fbrdifferentpurposes?

■Answersforreference:

1.Someofthedifferencesthatarewidelypublicizedbutarestillcontroversialinclude:1)womentendtomake

suggestionswhereasmentendtousecommands;2)womenusemorelistenerresponseswhereasmeninterrupt

more;3)womentalkmoreinprivatedomainswithfriendswhereasmentalkmoreinpublicarena;and4)

womentendtotalkmoreaboutfriendshipswhereasmentendtotalkmoreaboutnewsandsports.

2.(open.)

3.Differentreasonsmaybeoffered,butoneofthemostpopular,thoughalsocontroversial,reasonsisthatmen

andwomengrowupindifferentcultures:boysinacompetitiveculture,andgirlsinacooperativeculture.

4.Manystudents,maleorfemale,mayusetheircomputerstoplaycomputergames.Butmalestudentsmaybe

moreaddictedtoonlinegameswhereasfemalestudentsmayusethecomputermoreforonlineshoppingand

onlinechatting.

SectionBQuotes

■Studythefollowingquotesaboutgenderdifferencesandcommunication.Doyouagreewitheachof

them?Givereasonstosupportyourview.

AlbertEinstein

OMenmarrywomenwiththehopetheywillneverchange.Womenmarrymenwiththehopetheywill

change.Invariablytheyarebothdisappointed.

—AlbertEinstein

Interpretation:

Einsteinemphasizesthestereotypicaldifferencesinmen'sandwomen'sexpectationsforeachotherin

marriage.Whilemenexpectthatwomenwillneverchange,especiallyinappearance,womenexpectthatmen

willchangeforthebetter,probablyinthebeliefthattheywillbenefitfromtheloveofagoodwoman.Inthe

end,bothmenandwomenwillbedisappointedastheirexpectationscanneverbemet.

耍

RitaMaeBrown

©Womenneedtofeellovedandmenneedtofeelneeded.

一RitaMaeBrown

Interpretation:

Brownemphasizesthedifferentneedsofmenandwomen.Towomen,beinglovedandexperiencingthatlove

areimportant.Tomen,beingofuseorvaluetootherpeopleortosocietyisofgreatimportance.Inother

words,womenfocusmoreonemotionsandfeelingswhereasmenfbcusmoreonutility.

AboutRitaMaeBrown(1944-):anAmericanwriter,bestknownforhernovelRubyfruitJungle.

IsabelAllende

©Amandoeswhathecan;awomandoeswhatamancannot.

一IsabelAllende

Interpretation:

ThisremarkismadebytheheroineofoneofAllende'snovelsinspeakingofthesubtletyofwomenlike

herselfingettingmentodowhattheywant.Assuchitimpliesthatwomen'sroleisnotatallsmallerthan

men's.

AboutIsabelAllende(1942-):aChileanAmericanwriter.SheisfamousforhernovelssuchasTheHouse

oftheSpirits(1982)andCityoftheBeasts(20xx),whichhavebeencommerciallysuccessful.Allendehas

beencalled“theworld'smostwidelyreadSpanish-languageauthor”.

SectionCWatchingandDiscussion

Watchthefollowingvideoclip"GenderandCommunication"anddothetasksthatfollow:

插入视频片段：“GenderandCommunication^^

1.Pleasedecidewhethereachofthefollowingstatementsistrue(T)orfalse(F)basedontheinformationin

thevideoclip.

(F)Littleboysandgirlslearntosocializeindifferentwaysinschool.

(T)Menandwomenareexpectedtobehavedifferently.

(T)Womenaregenerallyconsideredtobemorenurturingandcooperative.

(T)Menshouldlearntobeassertiveandcompetitivewhentheyinteractwithothers.

(F)Menandwomenmisunderstandeachotherbecauseoftheirnonverbalcommunication.

(T)Notallmenorwomenbehaveastheyareexpectedaccordingtotheirgenderentity.

(T)Communicationdifficultiesarisebecausemenandwomenhavedifferentinterpretations.

2.Didyourparentsorotherseverrequireyoutobehavelikeaboy/girl?Whatdoyouthinkoftheexpectation

thatmenshouldbeassertiveandcompetitiveandwomenshouldbenurturingandcooperative?

■Answersforreference:

Open.

Script：

Fromaveryearlyage,actually,onthetimewe'rebom.Littleboysandlittlegirls,menandwomentendtobe

socializedindifferentwaysoftenwithcodeofdifferentcultures.Andovertime,whatcanhappenisthiscould

havepowerfulinfluenceonhow,bothmenandwomen,areexpectedtobehavethecharacteristicsthatare

associatedwithmasculineentityandfamineentity.Andthesecharacteristiccanhaveenormousimpactontheir

professionalandpersonallives.Amongallgroups,differentcultures,differenteconomicgroups,different

religiousbackgroundshavedifferentvaluesthatareactuallyappropriatetotheirculture.Theyalsolearnto

teachandlearntovaluedifferentnotionsofmasculineandfaminebehaviorthat,er,whatwecallthegender

differences.Forexample,it'softentoassumed,generallyassumed,it'sageneralandcommonstereotype,

assumption,thatwomenwilltendtobemorenurturingandmorecooperativeintheirinteractionswithother.

Anotherstereotypejustaspowerfulformen,andthat'sgenerallytakenforgrantedthatmenarecomfortable

learninghowtobeassertiveandcompetitiveintheirinteractionswithothers.Thiscanleadtoseparatewhat

第2页，共25页

wecalllinguisticcultureswhichresult,ortendtoresultindifferentstylesofbothverbalandnonverbal

communication.Well,suchtendenciescancontributetomisunderstandings.Thereareofcourseexceptions.

Examplesarethatnot100%ofwomenandnot100%ofmenareraisetoembraceforwomennurturingand

cooperationorwhatwecallmorepassivekindsofbehavior.Orthatneither100%ofmalesinacculturated

growupinhouseholdswheretheylearntobecompetitiveandwheretheycan'tlearntobethemselves,

nurturingandimpassive.Expectationsofdifferentcomfortlevelswithcommunicationstylesamongwomen

andmenmaycreategapsbetweenwhatisexpressedbythespeakerandimportantlyhowitisinterpretedby

thelistener.IteachcoursesingenderandcommunicationandsomeofwhatIlookatarethenonverbaland

verbalcommunicationbehaviorsthatoftenareassociatedwiththemasculineandfaminestereotype,i.e.with

maleandfemale'sbehaviors.

PartIIListenandRespond

SectionAWordBank

gendern.thefactofbeingmaleorfemale,especiallywhenconsideredwithreferenceto

socialandculturaldifferences,notdifferencesinbiology性别

consciousnessn.[UJtheideas,feelings,opinions,etc.,heldbyapersonoragroupof

peopleaboutthestatedthing意识，观念

hiddena.difficulttoseeorfind隐藏的；秘密的

readbetweenthelinesfindhiddenmeanings看出字里行间的意义，了解言外之意

implicationn.somethingthatissuggestedorindirectlystated含意；含蓄；暗指，暗示

statusn.[U]one'ssocialorprofessionalrankorposition,consideredinrelationtoother

people社会地位；专业资球职位

criticizevt.[(for)]judgewithdisapproval;pointoutthefaultsof[常与for连用]批评;

指责

sympathizevi.[(with)]feelorshowsympathyorapproval[常与with连用](表示)同

情；(表示)赞成；(与……)有同感.

empathizevi.beabletounderstandsomeoneelse5sfeelings,problemsetc.,especially

becauseyouhavehadsimilarexperiences表同情，有同感，起共鸣

confirmationn.[(of)]astatement,documentetcthatsaysthatsomethingisdefinitely

true[常与of连用]证实；证明；确定

wowint.infrnl(anexpressionofsurpriseandadmiration)K非正式U(表示惊奇、羡慕

等)哇

SectionBTaskOne:FocusingontheMainIdeas

|Choosethebestanswertocompleteeachofthefollowingsentencesaccordingtotheinformation

containedinthelisteningpassage.

1.Thetalkmainlytalksabout.

A)howtoimproveone'scommunicationskillswithpeopleoftheoppositesex

B)whathasgonewronginmen'sandwomen'scommunicationwitheachother

C)howmenandwomenshouldcommunicatetoeachother

D)whatresearchhasshownaboutgenderdifferencesincommunication

2.Thepopularviewabouthowmenandwomencommunicateisthat

A)theydiffergreatlyinhowtheycommunicate

B)theyneedtocommunicatemorewithoneanother

C)theycanbothbeaggressiveintheircommunication

D)theycanbothbepatientintheircommunication

3.Researchhasshownthat.

A)menandwomencomefromdifferentcultures

B)menandwomenhavealotincommonintheircommunication

C)womenaremorelovingthanmenintheircommunication

第3页，共25页

D)menarelesspatientthanwomenintheircommunication

4.Whatreallydiffersbetweenmenandwomenisthat.

A)theyheardifferentmessagesfromeachother'stalk

B)theyenjoydifferentstatusinsociety

C)theytalkaboutdifferenttopics

D)theyreaddifferentbooks

5.Whenahusbandshareswithhiswifeaproblemabouthiswork,thewifewouldbemorelikelyto

A\

7offersomesolutionstohisproblem

B\

7criticizehimfornotworkinghardenough

cx

z)

Dempathizeabouttheamountofworkhehastodo

helphimfinishhisworkathome

IKey:

l.D2.A3.B4.A5.C

SectionCTaskTwo:ZoomingInontheDetails

Listentotherecordingagainandfillineachoftheblanksaccordingtowhatyouhaveheard.

Althoughmanypeoplethinkthattherearehugedifferencesinwhatmenandwomensayandinhowthey

communicate,researchhasactuallyshownthatthereareintheirwayofcommunication.It

hasalsobeenshownthatbothmenandwomencanbe,patientorimpatientintheir

communication.betweenthegendersisthattheyheardifferentthings.

Womenaremorelikelytobesensitivetoorreadbetweenthelinesabout

whilemenaremorelikelytoreadbetweenthelinesabout.For

example,whenamantellshiswifethatheistiredbutstillhasn'lfinishedallhiswork,hiswife'sreplyof4i

know,itjustsometimesseemsliketherearen'tenoughhoursintheday“wouldbeinterpretedbythemanas

himforgettingtoolittledonealthoughhiswifeintendstoaboutall

theworkhehastodo.

『Answersforreference:

Althoughmanypeoplethinkthattherearehugedifferencesinwhatmenandwomensayandinhowthey

communicate,researchhasactuallyshownthatthereareeeryfewsenderdifferencesintheirwayof

communication.Ithasalsobeenshownthatbothmenandwomencanbeeggressive。。lovinq,patientor

impatientintheircommunication.Therealdifferencebetweenthegendersisthattheyheardifferentthings

whentheotheristalking.Womenaremorelikelytobesensitivetohiddenmessagesorreadbetweenthe

linesaboutsocialimplicationswhilemenaremorelikelytoreadbetweenthelinesaboutstatusinwlicatiocs.

Forexample,whenamantellshiswifethatheistiredbutstillhasn'tfinishedallhiswork,hiswife'sreplyof

“Iknow,itjustsometimesseemsliketherearen'tenoughhoursintheday"wouldbeinterpretedbythemanas

criticizinghimforgettingtoolittledonealthoughhiswifeintendstosympathizeandempathizeaboutallthe

workhehastodo.

Script:

TodayI'mgoingtotalktoyouaboutgenderdifferencesincommunication.Nowresearchhasshownthat

thereareactuallyveryfewdifferencesinthewaymenandwomentalk.Inthepublicconsciousnessthere5s

thisideathattherearehugedifferencesbetweenwhatmensayandwhatwomensayandhowmen

communicateandhowwomencommunicate.Andit'sactuallybeenshownthatbothmenandwomencanbe

aggressiveorloving,patientorimpatientintheircommunication.

Whattherealdifferenceisbetweenthegendersiswhattheyhearwhentheotheristalking.Womenare

muchmorelikelytobesensitivetohiddenmessagesorreadbetweenthelinesaboutsocialimplications.Men

aremuchmorelikelytoreadbetweenthelinesaboutstatusimplications.Andthiscomesfromtheir

differencesinsociety.Soifyouhavethisdifficultconversationathome,wherethewomansaysorwherethe

mansays,“Wow,I'msotired,Idon'tknowhowI'mgoingtogetallmyworkdone^^andthewomansays,

第4页，共25页

“Oh,Iknow,itjustsometimesseemsliketherearen'tenoughhoursintheday.^^Andthemansays,

“Thereyougoagain,criticizinghowmuchIgetdone”.Inthissituationthewomanwassensitivetothesocial

implicationstowhatthemansaidandshewastryingtocommunicateamessageabouthowshesympathizes

andempathizesaboutalltheworkthathehastodowhereaswhatthemanheardwasaconfirmationofyou're

notgettingenoughdone.Soitisinthissituationthatit'simportanttorememberthatwemightheardifferent

thingsorwemightbemoresensitivetodifferentmessagesandwhattheotherpersonsays.

PartIIIReadandExplore

TextA

SectionADiscoveringtheMainIdeas

Exercise1:AnsyverthefollowingquestionswiththeinformationcontainedinTextA.

1)Whydoestheauthorconsiderherexperiencewithcomputersasaparadox?

2)Whydoestheauthorthinkthatsomemenfinditeasiertoopenupone-mailthaninface-to-face

conversations?

3)Howistheofflinegroupbehaviorofmenandwomenreflectedintheirrespectiveinterestincomputers?

4)Accordingtotheauthor,whatisoneofthesimilaritiesbetweenmenandwomenintermsofofflineand

onlinediscussions?

5)Whataresomenegativeeffectsofonlineanonymityonthebehaviorofsomee-mailusers?

,Answersforreference:

1)Shewasoneoftheearliestusersofcomputers,butsheisstillsomethingofanovicenow,contented

withherabilitytomanipulatetheirverybasicfunctionssuchase-mailing,wordprocessing,posting

questions,andwritingchecks.

2)Forsomemen,communicatingwithothersone-mailiseasierbecausetheyenjoyusingthecomputer

andatthesametimetheyfindwritingthroughe-maillessdirectthantalkingfacetoface,andtheycan

stopane-mailexchangewhenevertheywant.Face-to-faceconversationsforthemaremoredirect,

morestressful,lessrelaxing,andneedefforttobekeptgoing.

3)Ingroups,menstrivetobeinadominantorcontrollingposition.Thiscompetitivespiritgivestheman

incentivetotrytocontrolcomputerssothatthecomputerscandowhattheyaredictatedtodo.

Women,ontheotherhand,tendtocooperatewithoneanotheringroupsandinthecaseofusing

computers,womeningeneraldon'trespondtothechallengeofgettingequipmenttosubmit.As

computersarenotascooperativeastheywouldlikethemtobe,womenloseinterestinthem.

4)Mentendtodominatebothofflineandonlinediscussions.Inotherwords,mentendtotalkmoreand

getmoreresponsefortheirofflineandonlinemessages,whereaswomentendtohavetheironline

messagesignoredorevenattacked.

5)Withonlineanonymity,somee-mailuserssendlong,abusive,andmockingmessagestoothers,and

somemalee-mailusersharasswomenwithquestionsabouttheirappearance.

Exercise2:TextAcanbedividedinto3Partswiththeparagraphnumbers(s)ofeachpartprovidedas

follows.Writedownthemainideaofeachpart.

PartParagraph(s)MainIdeas

TheauthorandhercolleagueRalphhaddifferentattitudestowardscomputer

One1-2

andvideogames.

Bothmenandwomenlikee-mail.However,theyuseitfordifferentpurposes

Two3-10

andindifferentways.

Tosummarize,womenusecomputertogettheirworkdonewhilemenwantsto

Three11-14

dominatetheequipment.

Exercise3:Accordingtothetext,whowouldbemorelikelytodoeachofthefollowing:theauthororRalph

第5页，共25页

orboth?Putatickintheappropriatecolumn.

AuthorRalphBoth

1)keepacomputerformanyyearsd

2)hatelearninganewsystem

3)spendhoursonline

4)sende-mailmessages

5)solveacomputerproblemindependentlyV

6)purchasethelatestcomputermodelq

7)readcomputermagazines

8)helpothersinstalltheirnewcomputersystem

SectionBIn-depthStudy

Computersarepopularthesedaysandtheyareplayinganimportantroleinourworkandlife.Butdomen

andwomenhavethesameattitudetowardstheuseofcomputers?Readthefollowingtextandseewhatthe

authorhastosayabouthowmenandyeomendifferintheiruseofcomputertechnology.

GenderGapinCyberspace

DeborahTannen

1Iwasacomputerpioneer,butI'mstillsomethingofanovice.Thatparadoxistelling.

2Iwasthesecondpersononmyblocktogetacomputer.ThefirstwasmycolleagueRalph.Itwas1980.

RalphgotaRadioShackTRS-80;IgotausedAppleII+.Hehelpedmegetstartedandwentontobecomea

maven,readingcomputermagazines,hungeringforthenewtechnologyhereadabout,andbuyingand

masteringitasquicklyashecouldafford.IhungontooldequipmentfartoolongbecauseIdislikegivingup

whatI'musedto,fearmakingthewrongdecisionaboutwhattobuyandresentthetimeittakestoinstalland

learnanewsystem.

3MyfirstApplecamewithvideogames:Igavethemaway.Playinggamesonthecomputerdidn't

interestme.IfIhadfreetimeI'dspendittalkingonthetelephonetofriends.

4Ralphgothooked.Hiswifewasoftenannoyedbythehourshespentathiscomputerandthemoney

hespentupgradingit.Mymarriagehadnosuchstrains—untilIdiscoverede-mail.ThenIgothooked.E-mail

drawsmethesamewaythephonedoes:it'sasouped-upconversation.

5E-maildeepenedmyfriendshipwithRalph.Thoughhisofficewasnexttomine,werarelyhad

extendedconversationsbecauseheisshy.Facetofacehemumbled,soIcouldbarelytellwhathewas

speaking.whenweboihgote-mail.Istartedreceivinglong,self-revealingmessages:wepouredourhearts

outtoeachother.Afrienddiscoveredthate-mailopenedupthatkindofcommunicationwithherfather.He

wouldnevertalkmuchonthephone(ashermotherwould),buttheyhavebecomeclosesincetheybothgoton

line.

6Why,Iwondered,wouldsomemenfinditeasiertoopenupone-mail?It'sacombinationofthe

technology(whichtheyenjoy)andtheobliquenessofthewrittenword,justasmanymenwillrevealfeelings

indribsanddrabswhileridinginthecarordoingsomething,whichthey'dnevertalkaboutsittingfacetoface.

Il'stoointense,toobearing-downonthem,andonceyoustartyouhavetokeepgoing.Withacomputerin

between,it'seasier.

71/wasone-mail,infacl,thalIdescribedloRalphhowboysingroupsoflnnstruggletogettheupper

handwhereasgirlstendtomaintainanar)peaninceofcooperation.Andhepointedoutthatthisexplainedwhy

boysaremorelikelytobecaptivatedbycomputersthangirlsare.Boysaretypicallymotivatedbyasocial

structurethatsaysifyoudon'tdominateyouwillbedominated.Computers,bytheirnature,balk:youtypea

perfectlyappropriatecommandanditrefusestodowhatitshould.Manybvysandmenareincitedby〔his

defiance:"I'mgoingtowhipthisintolineandteachitwho'sboss!I'HgetittodowhatIsay!”(andifthey

workhardenough,theyalwayscan).Girlsandwomenaremorelikelytorespond,"Thisthingwon'tcooperate.

Getitawayfromme!”

8Althoughnoonewantstothinkofherselfas“typical"，myrelationshiptomycomputerisfairly

第6页，共25页

typicalforawoman.Mostwomen(withplentyofexceptions)aren'texcitedbytinkeringwiththe

technology,grapplingwiththechallengeofeliminatingbugsorgettingthebiggestandbestcomputer.

Thesedynamicsappealtomanymen'sinterestinmakingsurethey5reonthetopsideoftheinevitable

who's-up-who's-downstrugglethatlifeisforthem.E-mailappealsiomyviewoflifeasacontestfor

connectionstoother。WhenIseethatIhave15messagesIfeelloved.

9Ioncepostedatechnicalquestiononacomputernetworkforlinguistsandwasfloodedwithlong

replies,somepageslong.Iwasstaggeredbythegenerosityandtheexpertise,butwonderedwheretheseguys

foundthetime—andwhyalltheanswersIgotwerefrommen.

10Likecoedclassroomsandmeetings,discussionsone-mailnetworkstendtobedominatedbymale

voices,unlessthey*respecificallywomen-only,likesingle-sexschools.Online,womendon'thavetoworry

aboutgettingthefloor(youjustsendamessagewhenyoufeellikeit),but,accordingtolinguistsSusan

HerringandLaurelSutton,whohavestudiedthis,theyhavetheusualproblemsofhavingtheirmessages

ignoredorattacked.Theanonymityofpublicnetworksfreesasmallnumberofmentosendlong,vituperative,

sarcasticmessagesthatmanyothermeneithercantolerateoractuallyenjoy,butturnmostwomenoff.The

anonymityofnetworksleadstoanothersadpartofthee-mailstory:therearemenwhodelugewomenwith

questionsabouttheirappearance.

11Mostwomenwantonethingfromacomputer—towork.Thisissignificantcounterevidencetothe

claimthatmenwanttofocusoninformationwhilewomenareinterestedinrapport.ThatclaimIfoundwas

oftentrueincasualconversation,inwhichthereisnoparticularinformationtobeconveyed.Butwith

computers,itisoftenwomenwhoaremorefocusedoninformation,becausetheydon'trespondtothe

challengeofgettingequipmenttosubmit.

12OnceIhadlearnedthebasics,myinterestincomputerswaned.Iuseittowritebooks(thoughInever

masteredhavingitdobibliographiesortablesofcontents)andwritechecks(butnotbalancemycheckbook).

Muchasrdliketouseittodomore,Ibegrudgethetimeitwouldtaketolearn.

13Ralph'scomputerexpertisecostshimalotoftime.Chivalryrequiresthatherescuenovicesinneed,

andheiscalleduponbydamselnovicesfarmoreoftenthanknaves.Moremenwouldratherstudythe

instructionbookletthanaskdirections,asitwere,fromanotherperson.uWhen1dohelpmen,“Ralphwrote

(one-mail,ofcourse),"theywanttobemoreinvolved.Ionceinstalledaharddriveforaguy,andhewanted

tobetherewithme,wieldingthescrewdriverandgivinghisownadvicewherehecould.vWomen,hefinds,

usuallyarenotinterestedinwhathe'sdoing;theyjustwanthimtogetthecomputertothepointwherethey

candowhattheywant.

14WhichprettymuchexplainshowImanagedtobeapioneerwithoutbecominganexpert.

配图1(Para3)：一栋大楼里，两个不同的窗口，一个男人满头大汗地对照说明书安装新型电脑。另

一个窗口，一个女人悠闲地坐着打电话给朋友。

配图2(Paras5)：上文提到的男人坐在电脑面前充满自信地打出洋洋洒洒的长篇邮件。

配图3(Paras8)：上文提到的女人坐在电脑面前深受感动充满爱的样子。

配图4(Para9)：上文提到的女人坐在电脑面前吃惊的样子，头冒出一些奇怪字符和问号。

|课文参考译文

网络空间的性别差异

德博拉•坦嫩

1我很早就买了电脑，但仍然像个新手。这个自相矛盾的说法很能说明问题。

2我是这座大楼里第二个拥有电脑的人。第一个是我的同事拉尔夫。那是在1980年，拉尔夫买了一

台RadioShackTRS-80电脑；我买了一台二手苹果11+电脑。他是我的电脑启蒙老师，后来成了电脑

专家。他喜欢读电脑杂志，对杂志上的新技术如饥似渴，一有钱就购买新软件，并能精通使用。我却

抱着这台老旧的设备不放，因为我不喜欢放弃已经用习惯了的东西，也害怕做错决定买错电脑，还讨

厌花时间安装和学习新的系统。

3我的第一台苹果电脑里安装了视频游戏；但我从没玩过。我对电脑游戏提不起兴趣。如果我有空

闲时间，我宁愿和朋友们煲电话粥。

第7页，共25页

4拉尔夫上瘾了。他在电脑上耗的时间太长，又花大笔钱来升级电脑，经常惹妻子生气。在我发现

电子邮件之前，我的婚姻从未有过类似的紧张局面。但电子邮件让我上瘾了，它吸引着我，就像是升

级版的电话聊天。

5电子邮件加深了我和拉尔夫的友谊。虽然他的办公室就在我隔壁，但我们总聊不了几句，因为他

很害羞。面对面交谈时，他说话含糊不清，我都听不清他在说什么。但有了电子邮件后，我开始收到

他推心置腹的长篇邮件；我们彼此互诉衷肠。有个朋友发现电子邮件打开了她和父亲之间的交流之

门。父亲不会在电话里说个没完（不像她母亲那样），但是父女在网上却亲密无间。

6我想知道，为什么有些男人在电子邮件里更容易敞开心扉？这可以归结为技术的力量（他们对技

术乐此不疲）和文字的委婉。正如很多男人在开车或者做事的时候会偶尔流露情感，但他们却不肯坐

下来面对面地吐露心迹。对男人来说，这样气氛太紧张，压力过大，况且你一旦开始吐露就不能停

止。而有一台电脑在中间，交流就轻松多了。

7实际上，我就是通过电子邮件向拉尔夫描述了在群体竞争中男孩是如何力争上风，而女孩则往往

保持合作的姿态。他指出，这种现象恰恰解释了为什么男孩比女孩更容易对电脑迷住。“不制人则制于

人”的社会机制通常能激发男孩们的积极性。电脑生性不驯：你输入一句非常恰当的指令，它却拒绝

执行。许多男孩和男人们被这种挑衅激怒：“我要好好调教调教它，让它知道谁说了算！我要让它俯首

帖耳！”（要是他们足够努力，他们总能做到。）女孩和女人们则更可能会说：“这个东西不合作。把它

拿走吧!”

8虽然没人想把自己归入“典型性”的那一类，但对于一个女人来说，我和电脑之间的关系却颇具

典型性。摆弄电脑技术、费尽心思地修补软件漏洞、或设法拥有一台最大最先进的电脑，大多数女性

对此都不会感到兴奋（当然有很多例外）。然而，这些充满动力的东西却让许多男人产生兴趣，他们要

确保在这场一决高下的竞争中占得上风；对他们来说，这就是生活。作为建立人脉关系的一种竞争手

段，电子邮件对我的生活观具有感染力。如果我的邮箱收到15封邮件，我就有种被爱的感觉。

9我曾经在一个语言学家网站上发帖咨询一个专业问题，回复像潮水般涌来，有些回复长达几页。

他们的慷慨和专业知识让我惊愕，但我想不明白这些家伙怎么会有这么多时间，而且为什么所有的回

复都是来自男人。

10就如同男生女生一起上课的教室和男人女人一同参加的会议，电子邮件网络上的讨论往往被男性

的声音主导，除非特别指明参加讨论的人必须是女性，就像在单性学校里那样。在网上，女性不必担

心没有发言的机会（你想发言的时候就发一条信息）。但是，根据从事过这方面研究的语言学家苏

珊・赫林和劳蕾尔•萨顿的说法，女性发布的信息通常会遇到被忽略或遭受攻击的问题。鉴于公共网

络空间的匿名性，有少数男人会发布一些冗长的、充斥着责骂和挖苦的帖子，其他男人对此或许能够

容忍甚至欣赏，但却让大多数女人厌烦。网络的匿名性导致了电子邮件的另一种困扰：总有男人喋喋

不休地询问女人的长相。

11大部分女人只需要电脑做一件事一一那就是工作。这对男人关注时事信息、女人乐于融洽交谈的

观点是一个有力的反证。在没什么实际内容的闲谈中，情况确实如此。但是在电脑前，更关注时事信

息的却是女人，因为她们并不热衷于驯服电脑。

12一旦我掌握了基本操作，我对电脑的兴趣就减弱了。我用电脑来写书（虽然我一直不会用它来编

排参考书目以及自动生成目录）和开支票（但我还没学会如何结算我的支票簿）。虽然我很想用它来做

更多事，但我不愿意花时间去学习。

13拉尔夫的电脑技能耗费了他大量的时间。骑士般的秉性需要他拯救新手于危难之际，亟待他帮忙

的年轻女士远远多于大男人。大多数男人似乎宁愿自己研究说明书，也不会向另外一个男人虚心请教。

“我在帮男人的时候，”拉尔夫写到（当然是在电子邮件里），“他们总是喜欢掺和。有一次我帮一个家

伙安装硬盘驱动器，他总站在我旁边，手里挥着螺丝刀，一有机会就指点我。”他发现女人通常对他做

的事不感兴趣；她们只需要他把电脑搞好能用就行了。

14这就充分解释了我为什么早就有了电脑但仍然对电脑一知半解。

GoodUsage（Paras.1-2）

computer