从《摩登家庭》和《小别离》 看中美家庭教育差异

I.INTRODUCTIONInthischapter,theauthorwillexploretheresearchbackground,objectivesandstructureofthispaper.1.1. ResearchBackgroundInaneraofglobalization,theeconomicandculturalexchangesbetweenChinaandtheUShavebecomemorefrequent,andtheeconomicandculturalexchangesandcooperationintheworldhavebecomeincreasinglyclose.WiththecontinuousdevelopmentofChina'seconomyandtheincreasingexchangeswiththeUS,peoplehavecometorealizethattherearegreatdifferencesinfamilyeducationbetweenthetwocountries.Familyeducationistheearliesteducationwhichchildrenreceive.Parentsaretheprimaryteachersoftheirchildren.Familyeducationalsoprovideschildrenextra-curricularguidanceandparentsareexpectedtoserveasgoodrolemodels.Parentsarechildren’slovedonesandtheirclosestfriendswhogivetheessentialimpactonchildren’sprogressandsuccess.Andfamilyeducationisthecornerstoneinalleducations.Familyeducationplaysakeyroleinshapingchildren'svaluesandworldviews,andithasalastinginfluenceonpersonalgrowth.AlthoughparentalloveforchildrenbothinChinaandtheUSissame.Itwillstillbeeasytomisunderstandeachotherbecauseofthedifferentviewsofparentingcausedbyculturaldifferences.Therefore,itisimperativethatwerecognizethedifferencesineducationbetweenthetwocountriessothatwegainmutualreference.1.2. ObjectivesoftheStudyFamilyeducationplaysamajorroleintheeducationalsystem,anditisthebasisofschooleducationandsocialeducation.Thefamilyisthemainplaceforchildren’selementaryeducationanditplaysaveryimportantroleforchildrentoformagoodhabitanddevelopintelligenceinthefuture.ThispaperwillusethemostdirectfeelingstonarrowthedistancebetweenthereadersandtheauthorandarousetheemotionalresonancethroughanalyzingthetwoTVseries,ModernFamilyandALoveforSeparation,anditwillbeeasiertomakethereadersunderstandtheimportanceofcorrectviewoffamilyeducation,sothattheywillputthecorrectwayofeducationintopracticeandhelpchildrenformacorrectoutlookonlifeandvaluesinthedaystocome.Andwewillcorrectlyunderstandthedifferencesoffamilyeducationbetweenthetwocountries,andrecognizetheadvantagesanddisadvantagesoffamilyeducationinChinaandtheUSbycomparingthedifferencesinfamilyeducationbetweenthetwocountries,wewillabsorbandprofitfromtheoutstandingandadvancededucationalconceptoftheUS,andcombineitwithChina’sexcellentidea,whichhasaveryimportantpracticalsignificanceandinstructiveroletopromotethehealthygrowthofchildrenandimprovethequalityofthefuturetalent,aswellastopromotethesounddevelopmentofcontemporaryfamilyeducationinChina,butalsowillfurtherimproveChina'seducationalsystem.1.3. OrganizationofthePaperThethesisisstructuredintosixchapters.Theopeningchapterintroducestheresearchbackground,theobjectivesofthestudy,andthestructureofthepaper.Thesecondchapterisaliteraturereviewwhichreviewsthepreviousstudyaboutfamilyeducationathomeandabroad.Thethirdchapterexploresandexplainstheresearchmethodsandresearchmaterialsofstudyaswellasreasonsforchoosingthematerials.ThefourthchaptermainlycomparesandanalysesthedifferencesoffamilyeducationbetweenChinaandtheUSfromtheembodimentofparent-childrelationshipandparentingstyle,parentinggoalsandexpectationsaswellasparentingfocusesinModernFamilyandAloveforSeparation,andexploresthedifferentresultsofthetwotypesoffamilyeducation.Thefifthchapteranalysesthereasonsforcausingthesedifferences.Thesixthchapteristheconclusionofthisthesiswhichsumsupthemajorfindingsofthisstudy,andexploressomerevelationsofthisstudy.II.LITERATUREREVIEWInthischapter,theauthorwillintroducesomepreviousstudiesaboutthedefinitionoffamilyeducation,aswellassomedomesticandforeignstudiesaboutfamilyeducation.2.1.PreviousStudiesontheDefinitionofFamilyEducationWhatisfamilyeducationabout?Mostpeopleincludingsomeparentsmaysaythatfamilyeducationsimplymeansraisingandeducating.However,itneveristhecase.Familyeducationishigherthanraisingandeducating.Therearenumerousdefinitionsoffamilyeducation.TheGrandDictionaryofChineseLanguage(1979)definedfamilyeducationasthemutualeducationputintoeffectamongfamilymembers,especiallytheeducationthatisimplementedbyparentsonchildrenandeldersonyoungerinfamily.ThebookFamilyEducationbyZhengQilong(1984)pointedoutthatfamilyeducationisacultivatingeducationofparentsonchildren,anditisanintegrantpartorbranchofthewholeeducation.DengZuojun(1995)pointedoutinFamilyEducationthatfamilyeducationhappensinfamilylifewhichisaneducationalactivitythatrevolvesaroundparent-childrelationshipandaimstocultivatethepeoplewhoarerequiredbysociety.OneofthefirstprofessionalorganizationsintheU.S.forFamilyLifeEducators,theNationalCouncilonFamilyRelations(NCFR),explainsFamilyLifeEducation(FLE)inthisway:“FamilyLifeEducationistheeducationalefforttostrengthenindividualandfamilylifethroughafamilyperspective.TheobjectiveofFamilyLifeEducationistoenrichandimprovethequalityofindividualandfamilylife”(2011).Theauthorbelievesthatfamilyeducationisbasedonparent-childrelationshipandconjugalrelation,anditisakindoftwo-wayeducationactivitythatparentsteachtheirchildreninaccordancewithcertainexpectationsorgoalsandacertainwayofeducation,butatthesametime,parentsalsogettheaccesstoeducationfromchildren'sbehaviorsandwords.2.2.PreviousStudiesonFamilyEducationInthissection,theauthorexploressomepreviousstudyaboutfamilyeducation.2.2.1.StudyonFamilyEducationAbroadAmyChuaused“Chinesemother”torefertodifferentwaysofchild-rearinginBattleHymnoftheTigerMother,shebelievesthatitevenexceedstheeducationforchildrenbecausethewesternersalwayseaseuponchildren,soitismoreconduciveforchildren’sfuturedevelopmenttoproperlyimplementsomeorientalstrictwaysofparenting(2011).Haim·G·GinottprovidedparentsinChild,GiveMeYourHandwithmanyspecificrecommendationsanddesirablesolutionstoallthosewhofacedailyproblemsandmentalproblems,italsogavesomespecificadvicedevelopedfromthebasicprinciplesofcommunicationtoguideparentstorespecteachotherwhentheygetalongwiththeirchildren.Thebookrevolutionizedparent-childcommunication(1965).Sue·KimandJenny·KimshowedinthebookWhyAsianStudentsAreOutstanding-17TipsforFamilyEducationthathowAsianparentstocultivatetheirchildrentobecomeastudentsofAmericanfamousuniversityandthewhite-collarworkers，andreducedtheaffirmativecharacteristicsofAsianfamilyeducationto17tipsthroughtheirownperception(2007).Charlotte·Masonwarnedallparentsthatthemostimportantthingforsocietyistobringupandguidechildren.Especiallyinfamily,thefamily’sinfluencedeterminespeople’scharacterandcareer.Andparentingisaveryimportantthing,andanythingcannotbecomparedwithfamilyeducation.2.2.2.StudyonFamilyEducationinChinaBianJia(2013)toldalotofexamplesofAmericanfamilyeducation,whichpointedoutthecharacteristicsofAmericaneducationaswellasthemethodsofAmericanparentstoeducatetheirchildreninAmericaFamilyEducatesChildreninThisWay.AndintheintegrationofChina’scurrentsituationandAmericansocialandculturalbackground,theauthorgavedomesticparentsalotofsuggestionstohelpthemputtheirideasintoshape,whichhelpstofindthemostsuitableeducationfortheirchildren.HuangQuanyu(2010)hasshownsomeexamplesofauthenticAmericanfamilyeducationtousandfoundoutsomesimilaritiesanddifferencesbetweenChinaandtheUSwitharigorousattitudeofaneducationistandgentleeyesofafatheraswellasavividandfunnynarrative.TheauthortoldusinhisbookthatAmericanparentswon’tnevertransformtheirchildrenaccordingtotheirownideas,andtheydonotforcetheirchildrentoacceptthewillsofparents,whilemanyparentsinChinatransformtheirchildrenrigidlyinaccordancewiththeirowndesignsbecausetheywanttheirchildrentobecomethemostoutstandingtalent,whichmakesmanychildrenhavelesssocialskillsandtheirowninterests.Asarationalresearcher,ZouQiang(2011)conductedacomprehensivestudyandanalysisofcontemporaryChinesefamilyeducationfromtheperspectiveofthebackgroundofchangesandtheprocessesofchanges,thecontentsofchangesaswellastheresultsandevaluationsofchangesinStudyontheChangesofContemporaryFamilyEducationinChina.Nowadays,familyeducationischangingfromthetheoreticaldevelopmenttothepracticaloperation,anditisthebestdestinationforthecontemporaryfamilyeducationinChina.III.METHODOLOGYThischapterexploresthemethodologyofthisstudywhichincludesresearchmethodsofliteratureanalysisandcomparativeanalysis.ResearchsamplesadoptedareModernFamilyandALoveforSeparation.Thischapteralsoexplainsthereasonsforchoosingthetwosamples.3.1.ResearchMethodsThisresearchadoptsliteratureanalysisandcomparativeanalysisasresearchmethods. 3.1.1.LiteratureAnalysisLiteratureanalysismainlyreferstothecollection,identificationandcollationofliterature,andformascientificunderstandingofthefactsthroughthestudyoftheliterature.Andliteratureanalysisisaneconomicalandeffectivemethodofinformationcollection.Itobtainsinformationthroughasystematicanalysisofthework-relatedexistingliterature.Itstudiesvariouskindsoftextssuchasbooks,newspapersandjournalsaboutdifferencesonfamilyeducationofthetwonations.Thisresearchwillalsoanalyzeandinterprettwotelevisionseries:ModernFamilyandALoveforSeparation.3.1.2.ComparativeAnalysisComparativeanalysismainlyreferstoseparatethesimilaritiesanddifferencesofthingssoastoreachadeepunderstandingofallthings.Andcomparativeanalysisisadoptedincomparingtwoormorethingswitheachothersoastofindoutthesimilaritiesanddifferencesofthesethings.Inthisstudy,theresearchobjectiveistofindoutthedifferencesbetweenAmericanandChineseparentingfromtheperspectiveoftwotelevisionseriesModernFamilyandALoveforSeparation.3.2.ResearchMaterialsTheauthorchoosesAmericanseriesModernFamilyandChineseseriesALoveforSeparationastheresearchmaterialsforitsavailabilityandpopularity.Thefollowingisabriefintroductionofthetwoseries.3.2.1.ModernFamilyModernFamilyisanAmericantelevisionpremieredonABConSeptember23,2009,whichfollowsthelivesofJayPritchettandhisfamily,allofwhomliveinsuburbanLosAngeles.Pritchett’sfamilyincludeshissecondwifeGloriaPritchettandhisstepsonnamedMannyDelgado-Pritchett,aswellashistwoadultchildrenandtheirspousesandchildren.Jay’slawyersonnamedMitchellPritchettwhoisagayhasanadoptedVietnamesedaughterwithhispartnerCameronTucker.AndhisdaughternamedClairePritchett(ClaireDunphy)whoisahomemakerandmarriedtoPhilDunphy,areal-estateagent,andtheyhavethreechildren:HaleyDunphy,theolderdaughterwhoisatypicallyditzyteenagegirl,AlexDunphy,anerdy,smartmiddlechildandLukeDunphy,thenaïvefunnyonlyson.3.2.2.ALoveforSeparationTheseriesisadoptedfromLuYingong’snovelALoveforSeparation,ittellsthestoryofthreedifferentfamiliestofacesomeproblemoftheirchildren’sfurtherstudy,overseasstudyaswellasadolescence,andithitsthebuzztopicofstudyingabroad.Firstly,JinZhiming,ataxidriverandhiswifeWuJianiwhoisacommunitydoctorhavecommonearningslikeotherordinarypeopleinsociety,andtheirdaughterQinqinalwaysgetsagoodscore.Originally,theyintendedtoaskQinqintofocusondomestichighschool,butQinqin’smothersubsequentlywondersthatherdaughtershouldstudyabroadbecauseshedoesnotwantQinqintohaveanordinarylifeinthefuture,butthefactisthatQinqindoesnotwanttoleaveherparentscompletely.Therefore,WuJianiandherhusbandhaveaseriesofcontradictions.Secondly,Fangyuan,anoculistandDongWenjie,anexecutiveoffamousenterpriseshavealivelyandcheerfuldaughterwholikeswritingnovels,butwhatconcernsDuoduo’sparentsisthathergradesarealwaysvariable.Wenjieisreluctanttoletherchildrenstudyabroad,sosheasksDuoduotoattendavarietyofcramschoolsinordertoaskDuoduotofocusondomestichighschool.WhileFangyuan’sheartacheforDuoduoandalsohopesthatDuoduowillhavemorechoices,soDuoduoandhepreparetostudyabroad.Atlast,Xiaoyu’sfatherisabusinessownerwhohasayoungwife,Tina.Xiaoyuhasbeenso-sointhestudy,hisfatherfeltthatXiaoyuhasnoadvantageintheexaminations,andhehopetosendXiaoyutostudyabroad,sohesparesnoexpensetosendXiaoyutoforeignschool.Inthesetwotelevisionseriesandsixfamilies,theauthorwillchoosePhilDumphy’sfamilyandFangyuan’sfamilytoanalyzeandcompare.3.3.ReasonsforChoosingtheTwoFamiliesTherearetworeasonsfortheauthortochoosethetwofamilies.Firstly,bothModernFamilyandALoveforSeparationarebasedonfamilylife.ThefamiliesinbothTVseriesarerepresentativesoftypicalAmericanandChinesemiddle-classfamilies,whicharesuitablesamplesforthiscasestudy.Secondly,thetwofamilieshavemanypointsincommon,e.g.bothfamiliesarefrommiddle-classbackgroundandtheparentsarewell-educatedprofessionals.Thetwofamiliesaretypical“TigerMom”and“CatDad”whichmeansthatmothersathomeareofteninastrongposition,whilethefathersareslightlyweak.Andtheirchildreninbothfamiliesfacetheentranceofhighschool.Nevertheless,therearemanydifferencesamongchildrenaswellasbetweenparentsinsuchasimilarfamily.IV.CONTRASTOFFAMILYEDUCATIONThischapterfirstlypresentsthedifferencesbetweenAmericanandChinesefamilyeducationwhichincludesparent-childrelationshipandparentingstyle,parentinggoalsandexpectationsaswellasparentingfocuses,andthenitpresentsthedifferentresultsofthetwokindsoffamilyeducation.4.1.ParentingStyleInChinesefamily,affectedbyChinesetraditionalculture,parentseducatechildrenby“controlling”and“closed”.WhileAmericanfamiliesaremoreopen,equalandfree.4.1.1.EqualityorObedienceIngeneral,Americanfamiliespaymoreattentiontoliveinfreedomandequality,andparentsregardthechildrenasanindependentandequalfamilymembersthatrespectthechildren’spersonalityandhumanrights,whichbuildsademocraticandequalrelationshipwithchildren;butChinesefamiliesarerelativelylackofademocraticandequalwayofeducation.TheAmericanwayoffamilydemocracyeducationwillbeshownasfollowing.Firstly,childrenhavetherighttosaywhattheywanttosayathomebecausetheparentsintheUSwillencourageit.Secondly,childrenintheUShavetherighttokeeptheirownchoices,Americanparentsattachimportancetolettingchildrenmakeachoiceormakeadecisionbythemselvesbasedontheinitialdevelopmentofchildren'scognitiveability.Thirdly,Americanparentsarelikefriends,whichmeanschildrencancommunicatewithparentsmorecloselyandequally.Fourthly,Americanparentsrespectthechildren'sprivacy,iftheyaccidentallyviolatethechildren'sprivacy,theywilltaketheinitiativetoapologize.InthetwelfthepisodeofthefirstseasoninModernFamily,becauseofsomethings,ClaireaccidentallypeepedHaley’sdiary,andshefoundLukealsopeepedHaley’sdiary,whichmakesHaleywasveryangry.Clairefeltsorryaboutthat,andshealsoapologizedtoHaley.AndHaleydirectlysaidtohermotherthatshewasangrybecausehermotherandbrotherviolatedherprivacy.Allinall,inAmericanfamily,childrenhavetheequalrightwithparents,andtheycanexpressalltheirfeelings.TheChinesefamilyeducationreflectsthefollowingaspects.Firstly,therearefewerrightsforchildrentospeakorparticipate.TherequestofChineseparentsforchildrenistoabidebytherulesandsubmittheirwords.Secondly,Chinesechildren’schoiceandautonomyareonthesmallside.Manythingsaredonebywhattheparentsarranged.InALoveforSeparation,Duoduolikedwritingandwantedtobeawriter,butshedidnotdaretotellWenjiewhatherdreamis,becauseWenjiemustbeopposedtoherideas.Andhermotheralwayspaidmoreattentiontoherscore,shewantedDuoduotohaveagoodscoreandgotoafamousschool.AndWenjiealwaysfeltthatDuoDuobecamerebelliousanddisobedientespeciallyafterDuoduopassedintoadolescence.ButWenjieneverrethoughtthatthemaincauseofDuoduobecamerebelliouswasbecausesheputtoomuchpressuretoDuoduo.4.1.2.OpenorClosedAmericanparentsadvocateopeneducation.Firstly,Americanparentsattachimportancetopracticalexercises,andemphasizecultivatingchildreninpractice,notpreaching.Americansbelievethatallchildrenwillcompletethetaskinthecompletionoftheprocesstoraiseawarenessandgainexperience,mastertheskillsandenhancetheabilitytodevelopaninterestinexpertise,aswellasenhanceself-confidenceandresponsibility.ItcanbesaidthatparentsintheUSgivechildrenthekeytoopenthedoorinsteadofopeningthedoorforthechildren.Secondly,Americanparentsvalueplayinggames,becausetheythinkthatplayingisalsoamostimportantthingforachildofthisage.Instead,parentsinChinaadvocatetheclosededucation.Chinesefamilyeducationisbasedonpreachingwhichneglectsthecrucialroleofpracticalactivities.Therequestofparentsforchildrenistostudy.Eventhingsthatareintheirpowerarearrangedbytheirparents,whichresultsinalotofknowledgethatmanyChinesechildrenhavelearnedisuseless,andtheywilldonothingwhensteppingintosociety.Thirdly,therearefeweroutdooractivities,becauseChinesechildrenalwayshavetofinishendlesshomework,andtheywereoverwhelmedbyhomework.InALoveforSeparation,thescoresofDuoduowerealwaysunsteady,soWenjiewasverynervous.Therefore,shetotallybannedalltheextracurricularhobbiesofDuoduo.Duoduomustgetupat6:15everyday,andthenrecitewordandfinishhomeworkonthedinnertablewithoutasinglehalteveryday.AndDuoduonotonlyneedtocompletehomeworkthatteachersset,butalsotoparticipateinthemother’s“specialtraining”,whichmakesDuoduophysicallyandmentallyexhausted.Inthetwentysecondepisode,WenjiefoundthatQinqinreplaceDuoduototaketheremedialclasses,whileDuoDuowasrehearsingtheoperawithherfriends,whichmakesWenjieveryangry,andWenjiethoughtDuoduowaswastingvaluabletimeorstudying.SoWenjierushedtotellalltheDuoduo’sstudentsthatitisnotnecessarytoinviteDuoduotoparticipateinanykindsofactivities.4.2. Parent-childRelationshipWhatarethedifferencesonparent-childrelationshipbetweenChinaandAmerica?Aretheythecontrollersofchildren’sbehavior,oraretheyguiders?Theseissueswillbeaddressedfromthefollowingsection.4.2.1.RespectorControllingThispartexploreswhetherparentsrespecttheirchildren’swishes,hobbies,privacyandtheirfriends,andwhethertheywillabidebythepromisestheymakeforchildren.Firstly,manyparentsinChinatendtodominatetheirchildren’slifewiththeirownvolition,andimposetheirwishesupontheirchildren.WhileAmericanparentswillnottransformtheirchildreninaccordancewiththeirownideas,andtheywillnotforcetheirchildrentoacceptthevolitionofthem,instead,theywillrespectourchildren’swishes.ThemotherWenjieinALoveforSeparationalwaysworriesaboutthatherdaughterDuoduoisnotindependent,andthisisunderstandable,butshealwayssays“Iamallforyourgood,youshouldlistentome”(我都是为了你好，你要听我的话。).Fromthiscase,wecanseethatChineseparentsoftenimposetheirsontotheirchildren.Theythinktheycanforcetheiropinionstobetheirkids’opinions.However,inAmerica,itistotallydifferent.ParentsinModernFamilyalwayssupportchildren’severydecision,theyalwayssay“Tryyourbest”.Inthethirdepisodeoffirstseason,PhildecidedtoteachLuketopracticebaseball,whileLukealwayscannotdoitwell.Philwasquitedisappointed,buthealwayskeptencouragingLuke.Finally,Lukescoredagoal,Philwasverypleased.AndheeducatedLukethathedoesnotneedtobeseverewiththeresultsregardlessofwinningorlosing.ParentsoftheUSputmoreemphasisonequality,children’sfreedomandpersonality,aswellastheirself-esteem.Alexchoosestostudyinauniversitythatisfarawayfromhome,becauseshewantstostayawayfromherparentsandhasahappycollegelifethatwillnotbeinterferedbyparents.IfthishappensinaChinesefamily,Chineseparentswillopposeitandbelievethatsheistotallywillful.ButClaireandPhildecidedtoallowhertodosobecausetheyregardtheirdaughterasanindependentindividual,whoshouldhavetheirownideas.4.2.2.EqualityandObedienceAmericanparentstendedtobeafriendwithchildrenwhentheirchildrenwerestillyoung,andtheyalwayssquatdownwithacordialeyeonchildrenwhentalkedwithchildren,andtheyalwaystalktochildreninadeliberativetone.WhileInChina,manyparentsputthemselvesastheheadoffamily,theyrespectparentalauthority,andareaccustomedtoshapingchildrenaccordingtotheirownidealregardlessofchildren’sactualsituation.InALoveforSeparation,WenjiegavesomespecialtrainingtoDuoduobecauseDuoduowasnotverygoodinacademic,andshesaid“Learningislikerunning,whenyoureachthelimit,youhangonforhalfanhour.Andthenyoumightreachanotherlimitagainandyouwillperseverewithlearning.”(学习就像跑步，你到极限的时候，你咬牙再坚持半小时，你再到极限，再坚持。)SowhenDuoduowastoolatetogoonlearning,shedidnotdaretosayshewastootiredtosticktoit,sothatshewasasleepwhenshehaddinneringrandfather’shousenextday.Andnomatterwhatshewantedtodo,orwhatshedidn’twanttodo,butshedidnotdaretotellhermother,becausehermotherwillnotallowhertodoanythingapartfromlearning,whichincreasesthecontradictionbetweenDuoduoandhermother.Onthecontrary,parentsinModernFamilywillcommunicatewiththechildrenlikefriendsandchildrenwilltalktotheirparentsdirectly.Phil’sfamilyoftenheldafamilymeeting,whichmeanseverymemberoffamilywasabletoexpresstheirownviewsanddirectlysaywhattheywanttosay,andnoneofthemareafraidofembarrassingtoeachother.Thisalsomeansthateveniftheremaybealotofquarrelsexitingamongfamilymembers,itwillalsoincreasesthecommunicationsbetweenparentsandchildrenandalsopromotetheunderstandingbetweenparentsandchildren.4.2.3.Over-protectionChineseparentsprotectthechildrentoexcessinsocialactivities.Countlesschildrenarepreventedfromexposuretotheouterworldbecausetheirparentsareworriedaboutthattheirchildrenmightbeaffectedbysomebadthings.AndChineseparentstendtointerferewithchildren’sbusinessinordertoprotectthemfrombeinghurtwhileAmericanparentstendtointerferewithchildren’sbusinesseveniftheywanttoprotectthem.Childrenwillgrowupsoonerorlater,anditisinevitablethattheyencounterdifficultiesandfrustrations.Theyaregoingtofacethemontheirown.Theycannotbeprotectedallthroughtheirlives.Parents’overprotectioncouldhurtkids’self-confidenceandhindertheirindependence.However,itdoesnotmeanthatAmericanparentsdonotprotectorworryabouttheirkids.InALoveforSeparation,atthebeginning,Duoduo’sideaforgoingabroadwasbrushedasidebyWenJie.TheonereasonisworriedthatDuoduowasbulliedbyforeignchildren,andthesecondisthatDuoduoisheronlyfamilymember,soshedoesnotwanttoleaveher.Andinthefortiethepisode,DuoduohascometoAmericaandshewantedtoparticipateinavolunteeractivity,butWenjiewasadamantlyopposedtoitbecauseshewasworriedaboutDuoDuo’ssafety.FangYuanknewthatDuoduowaskeentodothat,andhethoughtthatitisachanceforDuoDuotoexpandherhorizon,soheagreed.However,DuoDuogothurtbecausecarelessness,andWenjiealsofoundthat.Consequently,Wenjiethoughtitisgreatdeal,andthenshehadahugerowwithFangYuan.4.3. ParentingExpectationsandFocusesMostparentshaveexpectationsfortheirchildrenandtheyexpresstheseexpectationsthroughparent-childinteractionsinordertohelptheirchildrenachievetheirparentinggoals,andthey’llalsofocusondifferentaspectsbecauseofdifferentexpectation.4.3.1.ExpectChildrentoBecomea“Dragon”ora“Man”Thegoaloffamilyeducationistofosterthechildrentogrowinsomedirectionbyfamilyeducation.Itistherestrictivefactorforthedirectionoffamilyeducation,decidingthegeneraleffectofit.Sotheaimoffamilyeducationisthecoreoffamilyeducationandthefundamentalreasonforthedifferencesbetweenthetwocountriesonfamilyeducation.Thereisanessentialdifferencebetweenthetwocountries’goaloffamilyeducation,whattoexpectthechildtobecomeanoutstandingpersonandhopethechildrentobeacomprehensiveandindependentpersongivingexpressionstothedifference.TomostChineseparents,thegoalistoexpecttheirchildrentobecome“dragons”,whichis“wangzichenglong”inChinese.ButAmericanparentshopetheirchildrenbecomeacompetentandindependentmanandtheyseethisastheaimofeducation.ForChineseparents,theiraimistoconductanythingtosupporttheirchildrentogethighmarks,andtheythinkthathighmarksareequivalenttoabrighterfuture.Furthermore,Americaparentsgivetheirchildrenmoretrainingaboutimprovingabilities.Theyjusttrytotraintheirchildrentohavetheabilityofadaptingtoenvironmentalvarietyandtheabilityoflivingindependently.Americanparentspaymoreattentiontocultivatingtheirownchildrenbecomingarealwinnerofsociety,ratherthana“genius”wh