高中作文市公开课一等奖百校联赛优质课金奖名师赛课获奖课件

编码式满分作文训练法

普菲特教育董华东1/80练习一篇作文最近，我国多地连续出现雾霾天气（hazyweather）,交通严重受阻，呼吸道疾病（respiratorydisease）患者数量也大幅增加。请就此写一篇100词左右短文，要求：简明描述上面现象。请提出你认为处理问题方法和办法，2/80本讲座主要目录彻底转变写作切入点句子免错秘籍负杂句型高级词汇学习英语文章结构分析作文谋篇布局卷面整齐训练3/80见到题目后看罢题目透心凉，论结构，全都忘，高级词汇，丢进太平洋。

复杂句型意茫茫，提起笔，泪千行。步出考场见同学，都一样，很受伤。

如此作文何颜见爹娘。只待明朝发榜日，

结绳套，系房梁。4/80写作文困难类别无从下手不知道怎样组织句子翻译起来很困难语法错误过多单词拼写链接句子难5/80学生写作恶性循环链

高分要求-----高级词汇、复杂句型

用汉语编辑出复杂、优美汉语句子翻译成英语汉语式英语大量语法错误踩错扣分低分背诵范文练习书写继续犯错6/80原因：混同了编码和解码解码输入时所需，阅读、了解，特点复杂。编码输出时所需，写作、口语，特点简单。7/80方向选择8/80第一步找出语言信息内核剥离汉语言修饰部分从作文题目中找到修饰部分和内核部分。胸有成竹望子成龙表妹人山人海

阴盛阳衰9/80探寻以下说法编码内核这个计划瘫痪了（这个计划已经失败了）“Theplanfailed.”“Theplanhaven’tbeencarriedout.雨过天晴，月亮爬上了树梢，星星探出了脑袋，在那里眨巴眼睛。（雨后，月亮出来了，星星出来了，闪闪发光。）Aftertherain,themoonisout,andthestarsareallouttoo,sparkling.10/80我现在是筋疲力尽。（我太累了。）Iamquitetired.Iamexhausted.我吃得很撑。（我吃得太饱了。）Iamterriblyfull.这个城市被大雾笼罩着。（城市被烟雾盖住了。）Thecityiscoveredwithfog.一辆过路车溅了我一身泥。（我一身都被过路车洒泥水盖住了。）Iwascoveredwiththemudbyapassingcar.11/80这个孩子说话彬彬有礼。（这个孩子讲话时很有礼貌。）Theboyisfullofgoodmannerswhenhespeaks.她倾城倾国。

（她长得很漂亮）Herbeautyisveryoutstanding.

（她漂亮把我呼吸都带走了。）Herbeautytakesmybreathaway.他律己甚严。（他对自己很严格。）Heisverystrictwithhimself.12/80他神通广大，无所不能。（他能够做任何他想做。）Heisabletodoeverythinghewantstodo.乌云渐渐散去，一会儿便是晴空万里。（乌云慢慢地给蓝天让路。）Theblackcloudsgraduallygivewaytothebluesky.13/80现场练习：剥离汉化表示并翻译

五颜六色能歌善舞自吹自擂好好学习，天天向上14/80

精力充沛上进心强任劳任怨兢兢业业，勤勤恳恳鞠躬尽瘁，死而后矣。15/80第二步：人类描述世界基本逻辑

一，表示主体存在大楼前面有一个花园

Thereisagardeninfrontofthebuilding.

玉米地旁边有一口井

Thereisawellnearcornfields.

我们校园里有一些树。

Therearesometreesinourschool.

惯用结构therebe

16/80

二，表示主体属性或状态我是个中学生

Iamamiddleschoolstudent.

我学校很大。

Ourschoolisverybig.

我们很辛劳不过也很高兴。

Weweretiredbuthappy.

小孩处于危险之中

Thekidisindanger.17/80名词表示属性，形容词表示特征或状态Theboyisastudent.Heisclever.表示属性主语+形容词/名词18/80

三表示主体行为

太阳从东方升起Thesunrisesintheeast.过去日子已经过去

Theolddayshavegone.我喜欢英语IlikeEnglish.

我昨天买了一本词典Iboughtadictionaryyesterday.

主体+动词vi.

主体+动词vt.+宾语19/80

四表示两个主体之间相互关系我给张华一本书Igavezhanghuaabook.老师让我今天完成作业。Myteacheraskedmetofinishmyhomeworktoday.我们发觉鱼死了。Theyfoundthefishdead.主语+动词+间宾+直宾主语+动词+宾语+宾补20/80山东高考作文评分第五档标准第五档（很好）（25-30分）

1.完全完成了试题要求任务。

2．覆盖全部内容关键点。

3．应用了较多语法结构和词汇。

4．语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结或较高级词汇所致；具备较强语言利用能力。

5．有效地使用了语句间连接成份，使全文结构紧凑。

6.到达了预期写作目标。21/80第二步训练用最基本逻辑写作最近雾霾天气（hazyweather）经常在我国一些地方发生。所以交通会严重堵塞。患呼吸道疾病（respiratorydisease）人数极速增加。面对这么天气我们只好呆在家里。我认为最主要办法是控制来自工厂空气污染。一些工厂不注意空气污染。他们只想盈利。22/80所以我们必须尽最大努力降低空气污染。政府和相关人员应该指导他们。少开私家车意味着少污染。所以我们尽可能多乘坐公共交通。我们能够各种树，节约水和能源等等。总之，全部些人都应该进我们最大努力保护环境。23/80Recently,hazyweatherhashappenedinmanyplacesofourcountry.Sothetrafficisblockedseriously.Thenumberofpeoplewithrespiratorydiseasehasincreasedgreatly.

Facingsuchweather,wehavetobeathome.Inmyopinion,themostimportantmeasureistocontrolairpollutionfromfactories.Somefactoriesdon’tpayattentiontotheairpollution.Theyonlytrytoearnmoney.Sowemusttryourbesttodecreaseairpollution.Thegovernmentandallthepeopleshouldmonitorthem.Drivingprivatecarslessmeanslesspollution.Soweshouldtakepublictransportationasoftenaspossible.Wecanplanttrees,savewaterandenergyandsoon.Allpeopleshouldtryourbesttoprotectenvironment.24/80第三步对已经有句型进行复杂化把已经写出简单句变复杂

1句子延伸（增加状语从句、定语从句）

2句子合并（把两个小短句合并成一个）

3改变句式或使用经典句型

4使用高级词汇25/801句子延伸（使用复合句）Springisbeautiful.Weallknowthatspringisbeautiful.Itisgenerallyacceptedthatspringisbeautiful.Thegirlisspokenhighlyof.Hercompositionwaswellwritten.Thegirlwhosecompositionwaswellwrittenisspokenhighlyof.26/802句子合并（使用并列句）Springhasarrived.Theflowersareblooming.Springhasarrivedandtheflowersareblooming.Thatwasabeautifulday.Wedecidedtogotothepark.Itwasabeautifulday,sowedecidedtogotothepark.27/803句式改变改变时态改变语态使用不定式使用过去分词使用ing形式使用虚拟语气28/80Thebellisringingnow.Theregoesthebell.Peoplesuggestthattheconferencebeputoff.Itissuggestedthattheconferencebeputoff.Onceitisseen,itcanneverbeforgotten.

Onceseen,itcanneverbeforgotten,。。。Iftheweatherpermits,Iwillcometomorrow.Weatherpermitting,…29/80Itdisappointedeverybodythathedidn’tturnup.Thefactthathedidn’tturnupdisappointedeverybody.Ifshedoesn’tagree,whatshallwedo?Supposingthatshedoesn’tagree,…Ididn’tknowhewasintrouble,soIdidn’tgotohishelp.HadIknownhewasintrouble,Ihadsurelygonetohishelp.30/80And,but,or,so,yet,for,nor,After,as,assoonas,before,since,until,when,whenever,while,Because,since,as,Where,whereverAlthough,eventhough,though,while,whereasWho,whom,that,Whichthat31/80并列and.aswellas,both…andnotonly…but(also)but,however,whereas,while,yet,still,选择or,.nor,orelse,otherwise,either...or递进besides,also,even,furthermore,what’smore，inaddition因果for,thus,so,therefore,consequently,asaresult时间：then,meanwhile,subsequently,afterward,解释thatis(tosay),inotherwords主语从句what,that,whether,who,whom,宾语从句what,that,whether,if，who,whom32/80状语从句时间when,whenever;as,since,till,until,before,everytime,nosooner...than,hardly...when地点:where,wherever,everywhere条件if,unless,providing(/provided)that,as(/so)long原因:because,since,as,nowthat,seeingthat,让步：though,although,evenif/eventhough,as,while,比较:(not)as...as,notso...as,(not)such...as,方式：as,asif/asthough,theway目标:sothat,incase,forfearthat,lest,inorderthat结果：sothat,so...that,such..,that,tosuchadegree33/804高级词汇替换poor----needy（贫穷）rich----wealthy（富裕）good----benificial（有益）bad----undesirable（不好，不受欢迎）however----nevertheless（然而，不过）important----fundamental/significant（主要）thing----affair（事情，东西）very----extremely（非常地）way----approach/method（方法，方案）use----adopt（采取，采取）government----administration（政府部门）solve----copewith（处理）34/80Providing

thewealthyarewillingtohelptheneedypeople,itwillbebenificialforthemselves.Nevertheless,suchaffairsseldomhappenandtheadministrationhasnoapproachtocopewithit.Iftherichcouldhelpthepoor,itwillbegoodforthemselves.However,suchthingsseldomhappenandthegovernmenthasnowaytosolveit.35/80oldpeople----theaged（老人）theyoung----adolescents（青少年）disagreewithsth.----frownonsth.（不一样意）forexample----forinstance（比如）if----provided/providing（that）（假如.....）improve----promote/strengthen（提升，加强）Moreshouldbedonetostrengthenindustry'slinkswithuniversities.应该做更多事情加强工业界和大学联络advantagesanddisadvantages----prosandcons（好处和坏处）

Youmustconsideralltheprosandconsofthematterbeforeyoumakeadecision.在你做决定之前，必须考虑这个问题正反两个方面36/80Recently,hazyweatherhashappenedcontinuouslyinmanyplacesofourcountry.Thetrafficisblockedseriouslyandthenumberofpeoplewithrespiratorydiseasehasincreasedgreatly.

Infaceofsuchextremeweather,weshouldtrytostayinside.Thefundamentalmeasureistocontrolairpollutionfromfactories.Somefactoriesdon’tpayattentiontotheairpollutionwhentheytrytomakemoney,soit’shightimetodecreaseairpollution.Theadministrationandallthepeopleshouldmonitorthem.Thesecondisthatweshouldtakepublictransportationasoftenaspossible,becausedrivingprivatecarslessmeanslesspollutionanditisenvironment-friendly.Allpeopleshouldmakemuchcontributiontotheenvironmentprotection,suchasplantingtrees,savingwaterandenergyandsoon.37/80第四步加入连接词、过渡语把句子或者段落用过分词或者插入语连接起来38/80Middleschoolstudentarediligent.Sometimesthingsarenotlikethis.Therearesomestudentsatschool.Theydon’tstudyhard.Noothergroupscanbefoundtobemorediligentthanmiddleschoolstudents.Sometimesthingsarenotalwayslikethis.Therearesomestudentswhodon’tstudentatschool.Itisgenerallyacceptedthatnoothergroupscanbefoundtobemorediligentthanmiddleschoolstudents.Butsometimesthingsarenotalwayslikethis.Indeed,therearesomestudentswhodon’tstudentatschool.39/80表示逻辑次序firstsecondthird,then,next,afterthat,finally,foronething,表示时间次序now,atpresent,recently,after,afterwards,afterwards,afterthat,afterawhile,inafewdays,atfirst,inthebeginning,程度递进besides,what’smore,what’sworse,inaddition,furthermore,moreover,especially,inparticular,even,tomakethematterworse,解释说明forexample,forinstance,suchas,inthiscase,infact,actually,namely,take…forexample,因果关系because,becauseof,since,nowthat,thanksto，therefore转折关系but,however,while,though,or,otherwise,onthecontrary,ontheotherhand,并列关系or,and,notonly…butalso,aswellas,both…and,either…or,条件关系as(so)longas,onconditionthat,if,unless,suppose,lest,incase让步关系though,although,as,everif,eventhough,whether…or,however,10比较关系besimilarto,similarly,thesameas,incontrast,comparedwith(to),11表示目标forthispurpose,sothat,inorderto,soasto,withthepurposeof,12表示强调indeed,infact,surely,certainly,nodoubt,withoutanydoubt13表示概括归纳inaword,inshout,onthewhole,generallyspeaking,inmyopinion,asfarasIknow,asfarasIamconcerned,14，过渡性插入语Ithink,I’mafraid,youknow,asweallknow,asiswellknown,40/80Recently,hazyweatherhashappenedcontinuouslyinmanyplacesofourcountry.Asaresult,thetrafficisblockedseriouslyandthenumberofpeoplewithrespiratorydiseasehasincreasedgreatly.

Infaceofsuchextremeweather,weshouldtrytostayinside.Inmypointofview,themostimportantmeasureistocontrolairpollutionfromfactories.Somefactoriesdon’tpayattentiontotheairpollutionwhentheytrytoearnmoney,soit’shightimetodecreaseairpollution.Andthegovernmentandallthepeopleshouldmonitorthem.Thesecondisthatweshouldtakepublictransportationasoftenaspossible,becausedrivingprivatecarslessmeanslesspollutionanditisenvironment-friendly.Atlast,allpeopleshouldmakemuchcontributiontotheenvironmentprotection,suchasplantingtrees,savingwaterandenergyandsoon.41/80TheWritingProcess：Step1Prewriting（准备）Prewritingisawaytogetideas.Youchooseatopicandcollectideastoexplainthetopic.listing42/80记一个有成就人AlbertEinsteinBillGatesMotherTeresaAuntSarahMartinLutherkingMr.Wang(highschoolteacher)GrandfatherDavid(mydeskmate)43/80Grandfatherstartedhospitalintown-onlyhospitalinabigareauneducated(highschool?eightgrade)firstfarmertoterrace（梯田）hisland-noweveryonedoesitfarmerimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisareaworkedhardhelpedhiscommunityreadaboutnewthingsstartedcommunityhospitalterracinghelpspreventsoilerosionrespectedincommunitylistenedtoexpertswenttochurcheveryweekgotupearlymademelaughwhenIwaslittleworkedlatewasthefirstpersonintobuyacarforward-thinking44/80Step2Organizing（组织）Mygrandfatherhelpedhiscommunityintwoways.A.Heimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.FirstfarmertoterracehislandTerracinghelpspervertsoilerosionB.Hestartedacommunityhospital.Onlyhospitalinbigarea45/80Step3Writing（写作）Writeyourroughdraftasquicklyaspossiblewithoutstoppingtothinkaboutgrammar,spelling,orpunctuation.46/80APersonWhoHasMadeaDiffenence:MyGrandfatherMyGrandfatherhelphiscommunityintwoways.MyGrandfatherbornin1880.Hewasfarmer.Notwelleducated.(Maybeheonlywenttohighschoolforoneortwoyear.Inthosedays,childrenwereneededtoworkonthefarm.)Hewascrazy,butnow,everyfarmerdoesit.Terracinghelpspreventsoilerosion.Thisimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.47/80Afterheistoooldtoworkatfarming,myGrandfathergettheideathathistownneedsaHospital,sohespendhistimeraisingmoneytobuildone.Thereisnohospitalsnearby,andpeoplehavetogolongdistancetoseedoctor.Peopleagainthinkhereallycrazy,buthesucceed.NowasmallHospitalincommunity,andtwodoctor.Eachofthedoctorshavelotsofpatients.TheHospitalisnamedthejameswalkercommunityhospital.ItwasnamedformyGrandfather.MyGrandfatherjustasimple,uneducatedfarmer,buthehelpedhiscommunityalot.48/80SecondDraftMyGrandfatherhelphiscommunityintwoways.Hewasfarmerandlivesinasmallvillage.hewasfirstfarmerinhiscommunitytoterracehisfields.Terracingistechniqueofmakingrowsoflittledamsonhillyland.Terracingsavewaterandkeepsoilfromwashingawayinrainstorms.Then,peoplethoughthewascrazy,butnow,allofthefarmersintheareadoit.Terracinghelpskeepthesoilfromwashingawayinrainstorms.Thisimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.thenmyGrandfathergettheideathathistownneedaHospital,sohespendhistimeraisingmoneytobuildone.Thereisnohospitalnearby,andpeoplehadtogolongdistancetoseedoctor.Peopleagainthinkhereallycrazy,buthesucceed.NowasmallHospitalincommunity,andtwodoctor.Eachofthedoctorshavelotsofpatients.TheHospitalisnamedthejameswalkercommunityhospital.ItwasnamedformyGrandfather.MyGrandfatherjustasimple,uneducatedfarmer,buthehelpedhiscommunityalot.49/80Step4PolishingRevisingandEditing（完善）Mygrandfatherhelpedhiscommunityintwoways.Hewasafarmerandlivedinasmallvillage.Hewasthefirstfarmerinhiscommunitytoterracehisfields.Terracingisthetechniqueofmakingrowsoflittledamsonhillyland.Terracingsaveswaterandkeepssoilfromwashingawayinrainstorms.Then,peoplethoughthewascrazy,butnow,allthefarmersintheareadoit.Thisimprovedfarmingtechniquesinhisarea.Thenmygrandfathergottheideathathistownneededahospital,sohespenthistimeraisingmoneytobuildone.Therewerenohospitalsnearby,andpeoplehadtogolongdistancestoseeadoctor.Peopleagainthoughthewasreallycrazy,buthesucceeded.Nowthereisasmallhospitalinthecommunityandtwodoctors.ThehospitalisnamedtheJamesWalkerCommunityHospital.Itwasnamedformygrandfather.Mygrandfatherwasjustasimple,uneducatedfarmer,buthehelpedhiscommunityalot.50/80英语文章结构51/80EnglishandChineseThinking.SavingthelastforthebestBeingdirect52/80中美英文考试对比中式思维狗是干什么？看门咬人锻炼身体吃屎美式思维录音原文：A=B题干：A=？答案：B录音原文：A=B推断：B=C题干：A=?答案：A=CIMDOGroupAustraliaPh:01065179986Email:peter1809@Web:

中国总部地址：北京市东城区朝内大街188号鸿安国际大厦C座502邮政编码：10001053/80中美思维对比（以写作为例）中国女孩分手信不知道你这几天过好不好,你为啥不联络我

(绕来绕去)我这两天什么也没干，书也看不进去，饭也吃不下。你不联络我，我做什么都没劲。想起几个月前，你对我如此体贴，从不让我难过难过。你现在怎么会这么没良心啊!(正话反说)上个礼拜我可能措辞太过激烈，但都是因为我在意你，可是你竟然不能体会，还大发脾气，真是伤透了我心。(终于说正题了)我真好恨你啊!(戛然而止，留下无穷回味)DearJohn,Ihateyou!(Topicsentence)Youryellingatmelastweekmademedown.(reason1)AndyouweresoclosetoMarythatyouhelpedherwithher

essayinsteadofhangingoutwithme,whichwasunbearableforme.(reason2)Duringmybirthday,nogiftfromyouatall.(reason3)SoIreallyhateyou,andwannaseeyounomoreinmylifetime.(Conclusion)54/80中美思维对比东方思维：绕来绕去正话反说含蓄表示隽永波折西方思维：逻辑式

logicanalysis结构：金字塔结构Topicsentence+supportingsentences+concludingsentence55/80记叙文时间次序Earthquake!1Anunforgettableexperienceinmylifewasamagnitude6.9earthquake.2Iwasathomewithmyolderandyoungerbrother.3Suddenly,ourapartmentstartedshaking.4Atfirst,noneofusrealizedwhathappening.5Thenmysisteryelled,“Earthquake!Getundersomething!”6Ihalfrolledandhalfcrawledacrosstheroomtogetunderthediningtable.7Mysisteralsoyelledatmylittlebrothertogetunderhisdesk.8Meanwhile,mysisterwasonthekitchenfloorholdingherarmsoverherheadtoprotectitfromfallingdishes.9Theearthquakelastedlessthanaminute,butitseemedlikeayeartous.10Atlast,theshakingstopped.11Foraminuteortwo,weweretooscaredtomove.12Thenwetriedtocallourparentsatwork,butevenourcellphonedidn’twork.13Next,wecheckedtheapartmentfordamage.14Wefeltverylucky,fornothingwasbrokenexceptafewdishes.15However,ourfirstearthquakewasanexperiencethatnoneofuswilleverforget.56/80记叙文空间次序TheStairwayWhenIwastwoorthreeyearsold,Ilivedinahousethathadastrangeatmosphere.Idonotrememberanythingaboutthehouseexceptthestairway.Itwasdark,squeaking,andquitenarrow,anditsstepswerealittlehighformetoclimbup.Fromthebottomofthestairway,itseemedlikeanendlessclimbtothetop.Beyondthedarknessatthetopofthestairway,therewasanelegant,middle-agedladyleaningagainstthewall.IhadtopasshereverytimeIwenttomyroom,formyroomwasthefirstroombeyondthestairsonthesecondfloor.Theladyworeabeautifuldresswithaquietpatternandatinge(一丝)ofblue,andherpeacefuleyesstaredatmeeverytimeIwentupthestairs57/80AsIcarefullyclimbedupthelaststep,hereyesbecamefixedonme.Shedidnottalk,nordidshemove.Shejuststoodthereandwatchedmeclamberupthestairs.OnedayItouchedher,butshedidnotreact.Herfacedidnotchangeexpression,nordidsheevenblink.Shejustkeptstaringatmewithherglitteringeyes.Later,wemovedoutofthehouse,andIneversawheragain.NowIknowthattheladywasamannequin.Myaunt,wholivedinthehouse,useditforherdressmakingclass.Ididnotknowmymother.MaybeIimaginedthatthemannequinstandingatthetopofthestairswasmymother.Thestairwaywiththestrangeatmospherehasanimportantplaceinmyearliestmemories.58/80议论文结构Likeasandwich.

TopicSentence

Supportingsentences

concludingsentence59/80怎样写主题句TopicsentenceAtopicandacontrollingideaSomemarriagesareaunionoftwofamilies.Somemarriagesareaunionoftwopersons.60/80NotTooGeneral,NotTooSpecificMarriageisaneventinaperson’slife.Theaverageageforpeopletomarryintheyear

was25forawomanand27foraman.Theaverageageforpeopletomarryhaschangedinthepast100years.61/80怎样写支撑句

SupportingSentencesExamples(举例)Quotations（引用）Statistics（数据）62/80结论句写法TheConcludingSentenceConclusionSignals

Allinall,Insummary,Inbrief,Toconclude,Inconclusion,Tosummarize,Indeed,Tosumup,Inshort,Itisclearthat…Tosummarize,Chinesefoodisbothbeautifultolookatanddelicioustoeat.Itisclearthatfaddietsdon’tworkandmayevendamageadieter’shealth.Repeatthetopicindifferentwords.Summarizethemainpointoftheparagraph.63/80考场作文之谋篇布局1，依据要求确定文体2，依据材料确定篇章内容64/80例文一假如你们学校将举行一次以“我梦想（mydream）”为主题英语演讲会，写一篇