读后续写给80岁母亲的礼物课件

读后续写讲评读后续写讲评1一、原文分析WHO(maincharacters;relationship?):

Theoldlady(Myra’smother);

Thepostman

Myra(theoldlady’sdaughter);

Myra’shusband(Mayor,theoldlady’sson-in-law)

Mrs.Morrison(maybethelady’sneighbour

);

Mrs.Grant(thelady’sneighbour);

Johnnie(thelady’sneighbour)

Jim(maybeoneofherrelatives)

WHEN:Theoldlady’seightiethbirthdayWHERE:

Theoldlady’shome一、原文分析Theoldlady(Myra’smoth2WHAT:Itwasthelady’seightiethbirthday.Althoughshehadreceivedmanypresentsfromherneighbours,shewasstilllookingforwardtoherdaughter’spresent,whichshewassureherdaughterwouldneverforget.Havingmadefullpreparations,shestoodbythewindow,expectingthearrivalofthepost.Atlast,onlyanenvelopefromMyraarrived,theoldladyalmostunwillinglytoreitopen…

WHAT:Itwasthelady’s3Maincharacters:Theoldlady:Myra:Johnnie:livealonelookedafter

byherneighboursMyrawouldn'tforgethermother'sbirthday,evenifsheseldomwroteatothertimes.Ofcourseshewasbusy.TheoldladywasproudofMyra.HerherbandhadbeenmadeMayor,andMyraherselfhadgotamedalforherwork.Perhaps---perhapsMyramightcome.Afterall,eightywasaspecialbirthday.Thelittleboy,Johnnie,hadbeenupwithapacketofmints,andsaidhewouldn'tgoouttoplayuntiltheposthadcome.successful/ambitious/diligent

selfish/lackthesenseofresponsibilityShemayfeelregrefulfornotattendingtohermomHiscompanycomfortstheoldlady’sheart.Contrasttohighlighttheoldlady’slonelinessOrletusreflectonMyra’sabsenceofresponsibilitytotakecareofhermomPredictwouldshecometothepartyornot?Thereasonableplot

Theme?Maincharacters:Theoldlady:l4What’stheauthor'spurposeofwritingthisstory?What’sthebestgift?Itisoneofthetragediesthatchildrenregretinthelaterdaysnotbeingabletorewardparents'lovebeforetheypassaway.Nothingcouldbebetterthanthecompanyofherdaughter.What’stheauthor'spurposeo5二、每段的开头语分析（用下划线标出关键词）

Para1:Shestoodbythewindow,watching.Whydidshestandbythewindow?Howdidshefeelwhilewaiting？What/Whodidshewatchthatcouldaddtothefeelingofloneliness,excitement,hope?Howlongdidshewatch?thesunrisesunsetthesunrose/sank/setdownDidshereceiveagiftoraletter?Didherdaughtercome?WhosenthertheletterthepostmanorJohnnie?Whatwashisfeeling?Howdidshefeelseeingtheletter?Contrast

第一段应该包含以下内容：

二、每段的开头语分析（用下划线标出关键词）Whydids6Asthepostmanpassedby,abeamofdisappointmentsweptoverher.HopesofreceivingthepresentfromMyraseemedtobefadingaway.OnseeingwhatJohnniecarried,hersmilefrozeabruptly.Sheshookherhead,withatremblingvoice...Facedwithsuchafrustratingsituation,shekeptwaitingwiththeexpectationfadingaway.However,itseemedthatGodplayedatrickonhersincesherecievedtheletterwhenshewasalmostoverwhelmedbyadeepsenseofdespair.段子妍Theshiningfromeyesfadedaway,whichwassubstitutedbythedesperationandthenumbsense....suddenly,arapidsoundoffootstepsfiredherhopeagain...Staredatbytheboywithdissatisfactionandsuspicion,shewasatalossaboutwhattodo.储加明Asthepostmanpassedby,abe7Theshineonhereyesfadedaway,sheturningbacktothetickenwithaheavygait/step.Hardlyhadshedecidedtocutthecakewhenthedoorbellrang.Theoldladyrushedtothedoor,openingitwithatremblinghand....Suddenly,asmileofunderstandingflashedacrossherface.Shehuggedtheboy,tearsgatheringinhereyes...钱艺ShestillfailtocatchsightofMyra,feelingasuddensurgeofdisappointment,theonlyfireofexpectationfadingaway.Whensheintendedtogiveupwaiting,Johnnierushedupstairsatfullspeed,graspinganenvelopfirmly.章祎玮Thelittleboycastadelightedlookonhisfaceaswell.He

staredatthestreetuntilthepostmancameintohissight.Herantowardsthepostman,onlytobegivenaletter.Withahintofsadness,theladypickeduptheletter.詹雨

Theshineonhereyesfadedaw8两段话内容如何顺畅衔接及第二句的关键部分：

Didherfeelingchangewhenshereceivedtheenvelope?Howdoyouknow?Para2:Almostunwillinglyshetoretheenvelopeopen.herfeelingchange(joy/expectation---disappointment)两段话内容如何顺畅衔接及第二句的关键部分：

Didher9续写的第二段要包含以下内容：

Whatwasintheenvelope?

Therelayacardpeacefully,whichread/said,”...”Howdidshefeelwhenseeingthething(s)intheenvelope?Didsheseeherdaughteratlength?Didshereceivesomegifts?Whatwasthebestgiftforher?Whatwastheendofthestory?

ahappyending/asadending(outofexpectation)

disappointment–excitement/relief)Contrast续写的第二段要包含以下内容：

Whatwasinthe10四、语言基础随着时间的流逝里面有一张卡片，上面写着...一个孤独的身影站在门口，眼中充满了期待。一个熟悉的身影出现在门口，眼中含有泪水

(With)Timegoingby/proceedingAstimeproceededInside/Therelayacard,whichread/said,”...”Therestoodalonelyfigurebythedoor,(with)eyesfilledwithexpectation.(独立主格)Bythedoorstoodalonelyfigure...Thereappearedafamiliarfigureatthedoor,eyesfilledwithtears.Atthedoorappearedafamiliarfigure,eyesfilledwithtears.Afamiliarfigurecameintohersight四、语言基础(With)Timegoingby/p11四、语言基础5房间里很安静。6突然7我很想陪伴你度过生日我最想要的是女儿的陪伴很抱歉我不能参加生日party9

Thewholeroomwasinsilence.Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablancketofsilence.Thewholeroomwasindeadlysilence,withonlythedeepbreathandthepumpingheartforcompany.Abruptly/Allofasudden,I’mdesperatetoaccompanyyou/tokeepyoucompany.I’msorryIfailtoattendyourbirthdayparty.I’msorryformyabsencefromyour...WhatIreallydesirewasmydaughter’scompany.四、语言基础Thewholeroomwasins12四、多种表达训练1.她一想到女儿可能会来陪伴她，心里感到一阵激动。

On/Uponthinkingthatherdaughterwouldcometoaccompanyher,shewasovercome/overwhelmedbyexcitement.

Theinstantshethoughtherdaughterwouldcometoaccompanyher,anairofexitementfloatedintheair.

Nosoonerhadshethoughtofherdaughter’scomingforcompany

than

sheheldherbreathwithheartpumpingwildly.四、多种表达训练On/Uponthinkingthat13Hereyestwinkledwithpleasuretheinstantshethoughtherdaughterwouldcome.Thebloodpulsedthroughherveins.Herfacewaslit/brightenedwithexcitement.Tearsstreameddownherfacebeforeanyword.

Hereyestwinkledwithpleasur14

2.一看到手里的信封，她感到很失落。

On/Uponseeingtheenvelopeinthehand,shefeltdisappointed/

indespair.

Theinstantshesawtheenvelopwithafamiliarsigature,herheartsankintoanabyssofdisappiontment.Nosoonerhadsheseentheenvelopwithafamiliarsigaturethan

herheartsankintoanabyssofdisappiontment.

Shestaredattheenvelopedwithafamiliarsignature,thebrightnessonherfacefadingaway.(独立主格)Shecastadisappointedlookontheletter.詹雨

Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablanketofsilence.

On/Uponseeingtheenvelopei15Sherushedtothemailboxinexcitement,onlytofindtherewasmerelyanenvelop.Disappointedasshewas,shetookitout.Deeplytouched,shesobbedwithhappiness.Throughhermistyeyes,shesaw...李梁钧

Sodisappointedwasshethatherbodyshudderedslightly.汪燕超Thedeliciouscaketastedbittertoday.梅秀玲Sherushedtothemailboxine163.收到了来自女儿的礼物后，她心里乐开了花。

Havingreceivedthepresentfromherdaughter,shejumpedtojoy/letoutascream.（具体的动作）

Havingreceivedthepresentfromherdaughter,shewasoverjoyed,shewaswildwithjoy.Whenshereceived...herfacewaslightenedwithhappiness.Herlivelyeyesglittered（闪烁）liketheblackpearlsfullofjoy.(瞿比喻)Thebloodpulsedthroughherveins.Anairofdelight/happinessfloatedintheair.比喻Thewholeroomwascoveredwithablanketofhapiness.Thewholeroomwasbathedinhappiness.3.收到了来自女儿的礼物后，她心里乐开了花。Having17Smileclimbedontheoldlady’sfaceimmediatelywithairfilledwithwarmth.舒露Abittersmileclimbedonherface.Inaninstant,sherushedtotaketheenvelop,butitwasnotaddressed.Tearsrolleddownherface,“Iloveyou,too.”sherepliedwithasatisfiedandsweetsmile...鲍可润Smileclimbedontheoldlady’18

4.看完了信，她非常生气。Afterreadingtheletter,shefeltannoyed.

...shelosthertemper.Afterreadingtheletter,shehittheceiling/wenthotunderthecollar(勃然大怒)，(with)thewholebodytrembling.独立主格

Soannoyedwasshethatshetoreitintopieceswithtremblingfingers.(倒装)Whatshesaidinthelettermadeherbloodboil（夸张）.Havingreadtheletter,shetoreitintopieceswithtremblingfingers.（具体动作）

4.看完了信，她非常生气。Afterreadingt19Para1：

She