关于写作教学的几点思考与做法玉环中学许玲

关于写作教学的几点思考与做法---玉环中学许玲从评分标准看写作教学方向根据写作方向确定教学重点写前指导写后讲评书面表达评价标准(第五档)很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当；完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。一、从评分标准看写作教学方向书面表达评价标准(第五档)很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当；完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。2.

内容:主题明确、要点齐全;书面表达评价标准(第五档)很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当；完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。3.语言:准确、地道、丰富、得体;

语域是语言使用的场合或领域的总称。英国语言学家M.A.K.Halliday将语域定义为，语言变体可以按照使用的情况划分为语域。语言使用的领域的种类很多，例如：新闻广播、演说语言、广告语言、课堂用语、办公用语、家常谈话、与幼童谈话、与外国人谈话、口头自述等。在不同的领域使用的语言会有不同的语体。4.思维:观点深刻、逻辑清晰（段落、句与句之间)书面表达评价标准(第五档)很好地完成了试题规定的任务；按要求写出了内容要点；语言结构和词汇选用恰当、丰富;语言错误极少；有效采用不同的连接手段，层次清楚；格式和语域恰当；完全达到与目标读者交流的目的。1.篇章:分段合理、条理清晰;骨血、肉气二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1.篇章结构解读2009浙江高考书面表达：

5月1日高二(3)班的学生志愿者LiYue和ZhangHua去阳光敬老院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫，聊天等)。假设你校英语报的记者，请写一则新闻报道:1.时间，地点，人物，活动;2.老人们的反映;3.简短评论。

Part1:概述新闻（时间、地点、人物、事件）；

Part2:客观详细介绍事件的经过；

Part3:陈述对事件或人物的评价或结论。

OnMayDay,LiYueandZhangHua,studentsfromclassthree,Gradetwo,wenttosunshinenursinghomeanddidsomevoluntarywork.Upontheirarrival,LiYueandZhangHuawerewarmlywelcomed,andrespectfully,theypresentedtheelderlywithfruitsandflowers.Thentheystartedworkingatonce,cleaningthewindowsandsweepingthefloor.Every-thingdone,theysatintheyardchattingwiththeelderlypeople.Whenitwastimeforthevolunteerstoleave，theelderlypeoplethankedthemfortheirkindness.Theysaiditwassuchabeautifuldaythattheywouldre-memberitforever.LiYueandZhangHuawereveryhappy.Whattheydidhasbroughtjoytootherpeopleandenrichedtheirownlives.

OnMayDay,LiYueandZhangHua,studentsfromclassthree,Gradetwo,wenttosunshinenursinghomeanddidsomevoluntarywork.Upontheirarrival,LiYueandZhangHuawerewarmlywelcomed,andrespectfully,theypresentedtheelderlywithfruitsandflowers.Thentheystartedworkingatonce,cleaningthewindowsandsweepingthefloor.Every-thingdone,theysatintheyardchattingwiththeelderlypeople.Whenitwastimeforthevolunteerstoleave，theelderlypeoplethankedthemfortheirkindness.Theysaiditwassuchabeautifuldaythattheywouldre-memberitforever.LiYueandZhangHuawereveryhappy.Whattheydidhasbroughtjoytootherpeopleandenrichedtheirownlives.

OnMayDay,LiYueandZhangHua,studentsfromclassthree,Gradetwo,wenttosunshinenursinghomeanddidsomevoluntarywork.

Upontheirarrival,LiYueandZhangHuawerewarmlywelcomed,andrespectfully,theypresentedtheelderlywithfruitsandflowers.Thentheystartedworkingatonce,cleaningthewindowsandsweepingthefloor.Every-thingdone,theysatintheyardchattingwiththeelderlypeople.

Whenitwastimeforthevolunteerstoleave，theelderlypeoplethankedthemfortheirkindness.Theysaiditwassuchabeautifuldaythattheywouldre-memberitforever.LiYueandZhangHuawereveryhappy.Whattheydidhasbroughtjoytootherpeopleandenrichedtheirownlives.UsingLanguage:HeroicTeenagerReceivesAward二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1.篇章结构解读2.事例积累2012浙江高考书面表达:

你校正在进行“英语读书周”活动，该活动要求学生摘录名言佳句（quote）并相互交流。以下是某同学摘录的句子：”Yourfuturedependsonmanythings,butmostlyonyou”。请按下列要求用英语写一篇100-120个词的短文：

1.针对摘录句中的观点谈谈你的看法；

2.举例说明理由。教材、完型填空中的记叙文。分类积累二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1.篇章结构解读2.事例积累3.语言积累积累渠道教材Teens

阅读文本（高考真题）

学生习作听力材料人物、兴趣与爱好、自然与环境、语言、文化、艺术、健康、饮食、运动、科技、人文关怀等。话题常用语言体裁特有语言(记叙/说明/议论)衔接作用语言人物、兴趣与爱好、自然与环境、语言、文化、艺术、健康、饮食、运动、科技、人文关怀、人生感悟等。功能意念语言分类积累二、根据写作方向确定教学重点1.篇章结构解读2.事例积累3.语言积累积累渠道教材Teens

阅读文本（高考真题）

学生习作听力材料4.语言与思维训练话题常用语言体裁特有语言(记叙/说明/议论)衔接作用语言功能意念语言4.语言与思维训练高一：翻译（一句多译）、造句、句子改错、句子美化（语言层面）50词小练笔(感受或评论)（思维层面）课文改编练笔（语言综合运用层面）高二：高三：分类综合写作：图画类、图表类、提纲类、开放类（语言综合运用层面）写前指导—写后讲评—整理内化—跟进强化三、写前指导--明确写作过程、培养写作习惯1.审题:体裁：主题：人称：时态：1.审题:体裁:夹叙夹议主题：MindYourBehaviorinPublicPlaces

人称：acouple(she,he)+I(we)

时态：过去+现在2.构思框架（分段、罗列关键词）：

Para.1:图片要点:Para.2:评论要点:美景、扔垃圾、吐痰、标牌对此行为的看法（破坏环境、无责任感、个人素质差、等等）

LastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.过渡过渡总结3.打草稿

4.改进表达5.抄写

卷面整洁清楚、书写对齐横线、大小合理、词与词间距均匀。四、写后讲评2.主要形式：作文评析卷4.评后跟进：背诵默写订正重写(部分学生)

跟进迁移3.讲评重点：解决问题+欣赏模仿1.目标:提高学生的写作热情分析解决问题引导学生感悟积累迁移2009浙江高考书面表达：

5月1日高二(3)班的学生志愿者LiYue和ZhangHua去阳光敬老院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫，聊天等)。假设你校英语报的记者，请写一则新闻报道:1.时间，地点，人物，活动;2.老人们的反映;3.简短评论。2011浙江高考书面表达：

假设你是高中生李越，有感于校园中存在的随意涂写（toscribble）和乱丢垃圾（tolitter）的行为，请用英语给校长写一封100-120个词的信。信中应包括以下内容：

1.说明写信目的；

2.对这些行为进行批评；

3.提出建议.2009浙江高考书面表达：

5月1日高二(3)班的学生志愿者LiYue和ZhangHua去阳光敬老院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫，聊天等)。假设你校英语报的记者，请写一则新闻报道:1.时间，地点，人物，活动;2.老人们的反映;3.简短评论。2011浙江高考书面表达：

假设你是高中生李越，有感于校园中存在的随意涂写（toscribble）和乱丢垃圾（tolitter）的行为，请用英语给校长写一封100-120个词的信。信中应包括以下内容：

1.说明写信目的；

2.对这些行为进行批评；

3.提出建议.2012福建卷：假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。MindYourBehaviorinPublicPlacesLastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.

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2012福建卷：假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。MindYourBehaviorinPublicPlacesLastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.

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2012福建卷：假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。MindYourBehaviorinPublicPlaces

LastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.

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2012福建卷：假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。MindYourBehaviorinPublicPlaces

LastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.

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夹叙夹议2012福建卷：假定你是某中学生英语报的小记者，以下漫画内容是你的所见所闻，请根据要求写一篇英语短文投稿。内容要求：1、描述漫画内容；2、发表个人感想。MindYourBehaviorinPublicPlaces

LastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.

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1.Followyourpassion;followyourheart.Theywillleadyoutotheplaceyouwanttogo.2.Therearenomistakes.Thereareonlynewpathstoexplore.3.Teenagershavetomapoutadreamfortheirfuture.Onlywithadreamcanwehaveacleardirectioninlife.4.Whereyouarerightnowdoesn’thavetobewhereyou’llendup.Noonewritesyourdestinyforyou,youwriteyourowndesitny.(摘自Obama’snationalspeechtoAmericanschoolchildrenonSept8.2009)话题常用语言积累——人生感悟：评论或总结

Iwonderifyoucouldputthebuttonsintheliftswithinthereachofapersoninawheelchair.2.Itwouldhelptofitearphonestoalloftheseats.3.I’dliketosuggestthattheseatsatthebackbeplacedhigherthanthoseatthefront.4.Itwouldbeconvenienttoplacetoiletsneartheentrancetothecinema.5.Perhapstherecouldbeaspaceattheendofeachrowforpeoplewithinwheelchairs.6.Ifthecarparkingspacesreservedforthedisabledareclosetotheentrance,thatwouldbenice.功能意念语言积累——建议：2012浙江卷：给校长写信提建议Book7Unit1ALettertoanArchitect体裁特有语言---记叙文：

Havingworkedhardallday,Iwenttobedearly.IwasfastasleepwhensuddenlymybedbeganshakingandIheardastrangesound,likearailwaytrainpassingmywindow.HavingexperiencedquiteafewearthquakesinHawaiialready,Ididn’ttakemuchnotice.Iwasabouttogotosleepwhensuddenlymybedroombecameasbrightasday.IranoutofthehouseintothebackgardenwhereIcouldseeMountKilaueaininthedistance.Therehadbeenaneruptionfromthemountainandredhotlavawasfountaininghundredsofmetresintotheair.Itwasanabsolutelyfantasticsight.体裁特有语言---说明文：1.Some7,000highschoolstudentswentabroadforfurtherstudy,accountingfor23percentofallthestudentsstudyingabroad.2.Asisshowninthechart/table,nearly40%ofthestudentsprefertosurftheInternetintheirsparetime,rankingthefirst.3.Thenumberdoublesin2008.4.Meanwhile,thenumbersofpeople,whohaveaccesstotheirowncars,haverisensharplyintherecentyears.5.Comparedwith1997,itfellfrom15to10percent.表下降：decrease,fall,decline,drop;表上升：rise,goup;变化程度：sharply,gradually,slightly,slowly,steadily体裁特有语言---议论文：赞成：

befor,beinfavorof,support,advocate,agreetotheargument,subscribetotheviewthat…反对：

beagainst,beopposedto；其他：

Wehaveaheateddiscussionabout…Opinionsconcerningthetopicvaryfrompersontoperson.Thereismuchdiscussionabout…衔接作用语言：时间关系：first,then,suddenly,immediately,meanwhile,afterthat,atonce,soon,atthesametime,when,assoonas,before,themoment,while,etc.转折关系：but,however,yet,onthecontrary,alltoooften,infact,virtually,instead,ontheotherhand,nevertheless,despite,inspiteof,otherwise,though,while,as,etc.因果关系：dueto,owingto,thanksto,becauseof,asaresultof,onaccountof,so,therefore,inconsequence,thus,because,since,etc.递进关系：and,moreover,besides,furthermore,what’smore,inaddition,apartfrom,worsestill,what’sworse,tomakemattersworse,moreimportantly,etc.总结：toconclude,inaword,ingeneral,altogether,inshort,onthewhole,etc.

Thingsworkedoutbetterthanwehadplanned.2.IthoughtIknewthemall,butthatwasn'tthecase.3.Painfullessonshavesetthealarmbellsringing.Book3Unit5练笔:

地理情况139平方公里，世界第二大国家，东西海岸距离5,500公里。自然资源淡水资源丰富。人口3千万稍多一点,大多数住在离美国边境几百公里内。风景名胜Vancouver:最美城市、滑雪、航海、森林、高树。TheRockyMountains：山羊、灰熊、鹰。Calgary：赛马会。你对加拿大的印象至少两点。本周，你们在英语课堂上学习了有关加拿大的文章。英语老师要求你们回顾所学内容，请根据表格介绍加拿大，并陈述它留给你的印象。注意：勿逐句照抄课文内容，可适当拓展，以使行文连贯。目标语:单词:slightly,within,border,measure,impress

词组:besurroundedby,catchsightof,haveagiftfor,befamousfor,anyothercountry,leave/makeadeepimpressiononsb.

句型结构:

makesth./sb.+n.Windsprotectedusfromtheaggressivesunshine,flowersexpandedinawidesmileandsometimeswecouldseebirdsflyinginthebroadskyorstayedinbushes,lookingsoelegant.Comparedwiththebeautifulsight,twopeople’sbehaviorwasterrible.Theydidn’tcareaboutthesignwhichtoldusnottothrowtherubishintothelake.Ontheonehand,theyenjoyedthebeautifulsight.Ontheotherhand,theythrewtherubbishintothelake.解决问题：Windsprotectedusfromtheaggressivesunshine,flowersexpandedinawidesmileandsometimeswecouldseebirdsflyinginthebroadskyorstayedinbushes,lookingsoelegant.

Comparedwiththebeautifulsight,twopeople’sbehaviorwasterrible.Theydidn’tcareaboutthesignwhichtoldusnottothrowtherubishintothelake.Ontheonehand,theyenjoyedthebeautifulsight.Ontheotherhand,theythrewtherubbishintothelake.(79words)问题：重点不突出，图片描述不清晰，个别用词不贴切。思考：一句话概括景色，以记叙方式描述图片要点。Everythingintheparkkeptmespellbound,thesoftbreeze,theflowersandtheflyingbirds.

Comparedwiththebeautifulsight,twopeople’sbehaviorwasterrible.Whileadmiringthesceneryinaboat,theythrewrubbishandspatintothelake,notcaringaboutthesign“NoLittering”nearby.(50words)内容空洞2.Theirbehaviorleftabadimpressiononme.Wehavetomindourbehaviorinpublicplaces,fortheworldisourhome.Whenyouwanttothrowtherubbishontheground,mindyourbehavior.解决问题：思考：陈述观点要有理由支撑，逻辑要清晰。无理由支撑？逻辑关系？语言单调2.Theirbehaviorleftabadimpressiononme.Whattheydidpollutedthelakeandruinedthebeauty.Whatifpeopledoastheydidinthepark?Aperson’sbehaviorgivesawayhispersonality,sonexttimeyouareinpublicplaces,mindyourbehavior.Inthiswaywewillwinrespectandenjoymorebeautifulenvironment.

LastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.

Wewereenjoyingthebeautyofthelakewhenwesawsomethingunpleasant.（雨泓）欣赏模仿：过渡一评：简洁、直奔主题、用词到位、形象

LastSunday,IwentsightseeingwithmyfriendsintheFairyLakePark.

Wewereenjoyingthebeautyofthelakewhenwesawsomethingunpleasant.（雨泓）回顾：IwasfastasleepwhensuddenlymybedbeganshakingandIheardastrangesound,likearailwaytrainpassingmywindow.运用：ThismorningIwaswanderinginthestreet…更多过渡:欣赏模仿：图片描述

Thebeautifulsceneryintheparkkeptusspellbound.AndInoticedtwopeopleboatingonthelake,admiringtheclearlakeandlookingrelaxed.Suddenly,themanturnedaroundandspatintothelake.Atthesametime,thewomanthrewsomerubbishintoittoo,regardlessofthesign“NoLittering”.(恒莉)评：描述清晰流畅、连接自然、非谓语动词使用恰当、用词较高档。

Thebeautifulsceneryintheparkkeptusspellbound.AndInoticedtwopeopleboatingonthelake,admiringtheclearlakeandlookingrelaxed.Suddenly,themanturnedaroundandspatintothelake.Atthesametime,thewomanthrewsomerubbishintoittoo,regardlessofthesign“NoLittering”.(恒莉)

Thebeautifulsceneryintheparkkeptusspellbound.AndInoticedtwopeopleboatingonthelake,admiringtheclearlakeandlookingrelaxed.Suddenly,themanturnedaroundandspatintothelake.Atthesametime,thewomanthrewsomerubbishintoittoo,regardlessofthesign“NoLittering”.(恒莉)

Thebeautifulsceneryintheparkkeptusspellbound.AndInoticedtwopeopleboatingonthelake,admiringtheclearlakeandlookingrelaxed.Suddenly,themanturnedaroundandspatintothelake.Atthesametime,thewomanthrewsomerubbishintoittoo,regardlessofthesign“NoLittering”.(恒莉)

Iwasimmersedinthefascinatingscenery…(琦凡)

Thescenerywasbeautifulbeyonddescription.(世玉)totallyignoring…（琼箫）turningablindeyeto…（高原）欣赏模仿：过渡二AsfarasI’mconcerned,theirbehaviornotonlydamagedthebeautybutalsolabeledthemselvesirresponsiblepeople.(叶菲)2.Theimpolitebehaviorstrikesanervewithme.Aperson’sbehaviorreflec