写作 学习仿写(上课,共41张)语文人教部编版八年级下

1、写作 学习仿写,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才

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3、路,状元成才路,1.了解仿写的基本方法，学习仿写的技巧。 2.学会在记叙中综合运用描写和抒情，用平实的语言叙写真事，抒发真情。 3.借鉴名家佳作的精彩之处，开拓写作视野。,目标导航,一、安塞腰鼓中运用排比、反复、比喻等修辞手法描写黄土高原上人们打腰鼓时的场景，形成排山倒海的气势。试选择文中的一个片段，模仿其中的修辞手法，描写一个场景。200字左右。,文题展示,提示： 1.找出所选片段中使用的修辞手法，分析作者是如何使用这些修辞手法的。 2.想想你要描写一个怎样的场景，如何使用这些修辞手法才能收到最好的效果。,二、在各类描写中，心理描写是难度较大的一种，因为它的描写对象“无影无踪”。鲁迅写“我”

4、看社戏过程中的心情，莫顿亨特写“我”爬下悬崖时的心态，都德写“我”上课时的心理，方法不一，却都做到了真实可感。选择其中之一加以模仿，写一个心理描写的片段。200字左右。,提示： 1.重读社戏走一步，再走一步最后一课的相关段落，归纳心理描写的方法，如综合运用直接描写与间接描写等，作为自己仿写的指导。 2.选择自己熟悉的写作素材，最好是亲身经历过的心理历程。,三、在众多表现亲情的散文中，背影秋天的怀念都是非常典范的作品，以平实的语言叙写平凡的事件，传达真挚的情感。模仿这两篇课文的写法，写一篇作文，题目自拟。不少于600字。,提示： 1.重读这两篇课文，借鉴其具体写法。如选择某一形象凝聚情思，推动情

5、节，贯串全文；注意表现自己对所写人物态度、情感的变化等。 2.注意观察，调动记忆，选取印象深刻、确有感想的事件，呈现精彩的细节。 3.安排好文章的线索与结构，并注意综合运用多种表达方式，让文章更有表现力。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路

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7、,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,技法点拨,仿写，顾名思义，就是仿照拟题者所给的语段或范文，“依葫芦画瓢”。发挥想象，根据自己的语法、修辞、逻辑等知识积累进行语言组合，写出符合要求的语段或文章。,仿写文章要注意“四要四防”：,1.审题要严谨，防止审题不严，偏离话题。 2.修辞要“依葫芦画瓢”，防止修辞运用不当，使句子失真。,3.结构要“循规蹈矩”，防止结构随意变化。如背影开头和结尾根据表达中心的需要，精心设计。以“我最不能忘

8、记的是他的背影”开头，既使文章围绕“背影”这一中心自然展开，又能吸引读者阅读下文；文章的结尾又“重现”了“那肥胖的、青布棉袍黑布马褂的背影”，首尾呼应，结构浑然一体。,4.内容要“百花齐放”，防止低级趣味，格调不高。内容并不一定要选取名人伟事，平凡小事、平凡人物也可以入文，这样选材更加贴近生活，容易引起读者的共鸣。背影秋天的怀念写的都是生活中的平凡小事，同学们平时要注意留心生活，将凡人小事作为写作素材，使其在文章中大放异彩。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状

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11、即仿课文句式、遣词造句。如仿写安塞腰鼓中“一样，是；一样，是；”；也有仿语言的不同色调不同风格，或幽默庄重，或明快含蓄，或豪放柔婉等等。,2.仿文体 学什么文体的课文，就仿写同类体裁的作文。如学记叙文，就仿写记叙文。,3.仿立意 课文从哪个角度立意，我们也从类似角度立意作文。如学习鲁迅的社戏，就可以取怀念童年生活的立意进行仿写。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

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13、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,4.仿篇章结构 比如贺敬之的回延安，作者按照“回延安忆延安话延安看延安赞延安”的结构来组织材料，结构井然有序。,5.仿写作技巧 比如吴伯箫的灯笼中，文章题为“灯笼”，但第一段没有写与“灯笼”相关的任何话题，而是宕开一笔，先写小孩子的天性喜欢光亮，然后再点出题目。文章的

14、这一写法迂回曲折，看似有浪费笔墨之嫌，实则是作者煞费苦心，前面先做好铺垫，再引出题目，可谓是,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状

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16、元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,水到渠成。还有本单元的课文中还运用了多种修辞手法和表达方式，其中都有可以模仿之处。 在进行仿写练习时，一定要注意借鉴与创新。要根据所写内容和表达的需要，选择和确定具体的仿写点。仿写不等于套用，不能照搬原文语段，要在借鉴的基础上进行创新。,文题一例文：,范文示例,长龙一般排起的是返乡的游子，流星一般驰过的是路上的汽车，鱼儿一般欢跃的是车上的孩子。一路疾驰，一路欢歌，一路笑颜。回家了，回家了，游子们在春节前要回家了。车门打开，孩子们率先从车中冲了出来，就像挣脱牢笼的小鸟儿，张着双,运用比喻、排比的修辞手法

17、，写出游子返乡的情景。,臂，迎着蔚蓝的天空。他们笑着，跳着，叫着，即使经过一路长途颠簸，也丝毫没有倦意。故乡的风凛冽而不刺骨，薄雪过后的大地软绵绵的。大人们一脸疲倦，手里提着大包小包的年货，脸上难掩归家的喜悦。,抓住季节特点，从视觉和触觉的角度写故乡的风和土地。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,

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19、状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,名师总评： 这是一个描述游子坐汽车返乡情景的文段。段中作者运用比喻、排比、反复等修辞手法，融合景物描写的方法，对游子返乡的情景进行了描述。段前铺排，渲染氛围，段末直接点出了这种“归家的喜悦”感，字里行间难掩游子归家的喜悦之情，给读者留下了深刻的印象。,文题二例文：,这是我第一次跳水，当我忐忑不安地走上跳台时，不由自主地屏住了呼吸。我站

20、在跳台上，向台下一看，湛蓝的跳水池水平如镜，水池边的建筑物像玩具一样，显得特别矮小可爱。哈哈，我是一个,“忐忑不安”直接表明了自己的心理。,运用间接描写，写出自己内心的喜悦。,巨人了。我内心充满了喜悦，但转念一想：从这么高的跳台跳下去会不会被淹死呢？想到这里，我不由得打了一个寒战，刚才那股高兴劲儿，早就飞到九霄云外去了。,欲扬先抑，先写喜悦的心情，最后一转，写出了自己的担心。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

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22、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,名师总评： 这一片段，小作者综合运用了直接描写和间接描写的方法，把自己第一次跳水时的心理表现得真实可感，让读者身临其境，感同身受。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元

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24、成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,父亲的背影 我离开父亲已有多年了，但是父亲的背影一直留在我的记忆中，每次想起父亲的背影，

25、我心里就感到特别温暖。 那年冬天，雪下得非常大，厚厚的积雪堆压在树枝上，快把树枝压断了。,交代写作对象父亲的背影。,文题三例文：,环境描写，渲染气氛。,那天早晨，我起得很早，像往常一样准备去上学，可我走出门，手就冻得直发抖，父亲见了，马上从箱子里翻出一副用毛线编织而成的手套，父亲牵起我冰冷的小手，说：“快戴上，别冻坏了手。”我兴奋地背起书包拿着伞就去上学了。路上，雪一直在下，而且越下越大，寒风像刀子一样割在我的脸上，走出门没几步，我冷得哆嗦，回头看了看背后的雪地，无意间发现一个熟悉的身影向我跑来，,原来是父亲，父亲没打伞，头上积满了雪。他二话没说，直接给我披上一件厚厚的外套，然后咳嗽着对我说：

26、“天冷，再多穿一件衣服，这样更暖和些。”说完，父亲转身就走了。我望着父亲，只见父亲突然又停了下来，跑到我跟前说：“算了，你一个人走我不放心，还是我送你去学校吧。”于是我和父亲共撑一把伞，父亲牵着我的手，艰难地向学校走去，伞外是纷纷扬扬的大雪，一片片雪花直,压下来，不一会儿工夫，伞上的积雪也有厚厚一层了，走到校门口，父亲停下来从口袋里掏出一张皱巴巴的十元纸币放在我手上，对我说：“进去吧，好好读书，别受冷了。”然后转身就走了。我望着父亲在大雪中渐渐消失的背影，眼睛一下子湿润了，泪水在眼里直打转。那年冬天，我一直在父亲的陪伴下上学、放学，整个冬天都不觉得寒冷。,详细叙述父亲送“我”上学的情景，第一次

27、刻画“父亲的背影”，凸显“难忘”二字。,升入初中，我学习的负担也越来越重，功课常常要做到很晚，那天夜里，快10点钟了，我还在写作业，突然，门被轻轻地打开了，父亲站在门口，手里端着一杯热腾腾的牛奶说：“写完了吗？早点睡，这杯牛奶很热，快喝吧。”我赶紧起身，接过父亲手里的牛奶，喝了几口，只见父亲很是欣慰，我又回到书桌前准备赶紧写最后一道题。却发现父亲还站在门口，我说：“爸，你先睡吧，我马上就,好了。”说完，父亲转身要走，这时我看到了父亲的背影，突然发觉父亲的背有点弯曲，头上有几根银丝在灯光下闪烁。我望着父亲的背影，又一次掉下了眼泪，泪水一滴一滴地滴在我的作业本上，我赶紧写完作业，整理好书包，爬到床

28、上，可是我在床上却翻来覆去也睡不着，想起父亲这么多年来的辛苦付出，我竟一点也没有察觉到，实在是有些于心不忍。,第二次刻画“父亲的背影”，抒写了自己的愧疚之情。,直到后来，我离开了父亲来到另外一个城市生活，从那以后我很少再见到父亲的背影，可是父亲的背影却经常浮现在我脑海里。每到夜深人静，我独自一人写作业时；眼前总会浮现父亲在雪地中的背影，此时，我会感到无比温暖，学习的重担和压力一下子烟消云散了。,再点“父亲的背影”，首尾呼应。,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状元成才路,状

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