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Chapter15
Mr.Rochesterdid,onafutureoccasion,explainit.Itwasoneafternoon,whenhechancedtomeetmeandAdeleinthegrounds:andwhilesheplayedwithPilotandhershuttlecock,heaskedmetowalkupanddownalongbeechavenuewithinsightofher.
HethensaidthatshewasthedaughterofaFrenchopera-dancer,CelineVarens,towardswhomhehadoncecherishedwhathecalleda“grandepassion.”ThispassionCelinehadprofessedtoreturnwithevensuperiorardour.Hethoughthimselfheridol,uglyashewas:hebelieved,ashesaid,thatshepreferredhis“tailled’athlete”totheeleganceoftheApolloBelvidere.
“And,MissEyre,somuchwasIflatteredbythispreferenceoftheGallicsylphforherBritishgnome,thatIinstalledherinanhotel;gaveheracompleteestablishmentofservants,acarriage,cashmeres,diamonds,dentelles,&c.Inshort,Ibegantheprocessofruiningmyselfinthereceivedstyle,likeanyotherspoony.Ihadnot,itseems,theoriginalitytochalkoutanewroadtoshameanddestruction,buttrodetheoldtrackwithstupidexactnessnottodeviateaninchfromthebeatencentre.Ihad—asIdeservedtohave—thefateofallotherspoonies.HappeningtocalloneeveningwhenCelinedidnotexpectme,Ifoundherout;butitwasawarmnight,andIwastiredwithstrollingthroughParis,soIsatdowninherboudoir;happytobreathetheairconsecratedsolatelybyher
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presence.No,—Iexaggerate;Ineverthoughttherewasanyconsecratingvirtueabouther:itwasratherasortofpastilleperfumeshehadleft;ascentofmuskandamber,thananodourofsanctity.Iwasjustbeginningtostiflewiththefumesofconservatoryflowersandsprinkledessences,whenIbethoughtmyselftoopenthewindowandstepoutontothebalcony.Itwasmoonlightandgaslightbesides,andverystillandserene.Thebalconywasfurnishedwithachairortwo;Isatdown,andtookoutacigar,—Iwilltakeonenow,ifyouwillexcuseme.”
Hereensuedapause,filledupbytheproducingandlightingofacigar;havingplacedittohislipsandbreathedatrailofHavannahincenseonthefreezingandsunlessair,hewenton-
“Ilikedbonbonstoointhosedays,MissEyre,andIwascroquant—(overlookthebarbarism)—croquantchocolatecomfits,andsmokingalternately,watchingmeantimetheequipagesthatrolledalongthefashionablestreetstowardstheneighbouringopera-house,wheninanelegantclosecarriagedrawnbyabeautifulpairofEnglishhorses,anddistinctlyseeninthebrilliantcity-night,Irecognisedthe‘voiture’IhadgivenCeline.Shewasreturning:ofcoursemyheartthumpedwithimpatienceagainsttheironrailsIleantupon.Thecarriagestopped,asIhadexpected,atthehoteldoor;myflame(thatistheverywordforanoperainamorata)alighted:thoughmuffedinacloak—anunnecessaryencumbrance,by-the-bye,onsowarmaJuneevening—Iknewherinstantlybyherlittlefoot,
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seenpeepingfromtheskirtofherdress,assheskippedfromthecarriage-step.Bendingoverthebalcony,Iwasabouttomurmur‘Monange’—inatone,ofcourse,whichshouldbeaudibletotheearoflovealone—whenafigurejumpedfromthecarriageafterher;cloakedalso;butthatwasaspurredheelwhichhadrungonthepavement,andthatwasahattedheadwhichnowpassedunderthearchedportecochereofthehotel.
“Youneverfeltjealousy,didyou,MissEyre?Ofcoursenot:Ineednotaskyou;becauseyouneverfeltlove.Youhavebothsentimentsyettoexperience:yoursoulsleeps;theshockisyettobegivenwhichshallwakenit.Youthinkallexistencelapsesinasquietaflowasthatinwhichyouryouthhashithertoslidaway.Floatingonwithclosedeyesandmuffledears,youneitherseetherocksbristlingnotfaroffinthebedoftheflood,norhearthebreakersboilattheirbase.ButItellyou—andyoumaymarkmywords—youwillcomesomedaytoacraggypassinthechannel,wherethewholeoflife’sstreamwillbebrokenupintowhirlandtumult,foamandnoise:eitheryouwillbedashedtoatomsoncragpoints,orliftedupandborneonbysomemaster-waveintoacalmercurrent—asIamnow.
“Ilikethisday;Ilikethatskyofsteel;Ilikethesternnessandstillnessoftheworldunderthisfrost.IlikeThornfield,itsantiquity,itsretirement,itsoldcrow-treesandthorn-trees,itsgreyfacade,andlinesofdarkwindowsreflectingthatmetalwelkin:andyethow
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longhaveIabhorredtheverythoughtofit,shunneditlikeagreatplague-house?HowIdostillabhor-”
Hegroundhisteethandwassilent:hearrestedhisstepandstruckhisbootagainstthehardground.Somehatedthoughtseemedtohavehiminitsgrip,andtoholdhimsotightlythathecouldnotadvance.
Wewereascendingtheavenuewhenhethuspaused;thehallwasbeforeus.Liftinghiseyetoitsbattlements,hecastoverthemaglaresuchasIneversawbeforeorsince.Pain,shame,ire,impatience,disgust,detestation,seemedmomentarilytoholdaquiveringconflictinthelargepupildilatingunderhiseboneyebrow.Wildwasthewrestlewhichshouldbeparamount;butanotherfeelingroseandtriumphed:somethinghardandcynical:self-willedandresolute:itsettledhispassionandpetrifiedhiscountenance:hewenton-
“DuringthemomentIwassilent,MissEyre,Iwasarrangingapointwithmydestiny.Shestoodthere,bythatbeech-trunk—ahaglikeoneofthosewhoappearedtoMacbethontheheathofForres.‘YoulikeThornfield?’shesaid,liftingherfinger;andthenshewroteintheairamemento,whichraninluridhieroglyphicsallalongthehouse-front,betweentheupperandlowerrowofwindows,‘Likeitifyoucan!Likeitifyoudare!’
“’Iwilllikeit,’saidI;‘Idarelikeit;’and”(hesubjoinedmoodily)“Iwillkeepmyword;Iwillbreakobstaclestohappiness,togoodness—yes,goodness.IwishtobeabettermanthanIhavebeen,thanIam;asJob’s
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leviathanbrokethespear,thedart,andthehabergeon,hindranceswhichotherscountasironandbrass,Iwillesteembutstrawandrottenwood.”
Adelehereranbeforehimwithhershuttlecock.“Away!”hecriedharshly;“keepatadistance,child;orgointoSophie!”Continuingthentopursuehiswalkinsilence,Iventuredtorecallhimtothepointwhencehehadabruptlydiverged-
“Didyouleavethebalcony,sir,”Iasked,“whenMdlle.Varensentered?”
Ialmostexpectedarebuffforthishardlywell-timedquestion,but,onthecontrary,wakingoutofhisscowlingabstraction,heturnedhiseyestowardsme,andtheshadeseemedtoclearoffhisbrow.“Oh,IhadforgottenCeline!Well,toresume.WhenIsawmycharmerthuscomeinaccompaniedbyacavalier,Iseemedtohearahiss,andthegreensnakeofjealousy,risingonundulatingcoilsfromthemoonlitbalcony,glidedwithinmywaistcoat,andateitswayintwominutestomyheart’score.Strange!”heexclaimed,suddenlystartingagainfromthepoint.“StrangethatIshouldchooseyoufortheconfidantofallthis,younglady;passingstrangethatyoushouldlistentomequietly,asifitwerethemostusualthingintheworldforamanlikemetotellstoriesofhisopera-mistressestoaquaint,inexperiencedgirllikeyou!Butthelastsingularityexplainsthefirst,asIintimatedoncebefore:you,withyourgravity,considerateness,andcautionweremadetobetherecipientofsecrets.Besides,Iknow
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whatsortofamindIhaveplacedincommunicationwithmyown:Iknowitisonenotliabletotakeinfection:itisapeculiarmind:itisauniqueone.HappilyIdonotmeantoharmit:but,ifIdid,itwouldnottakeharmfromme.ThemoreyouandIconverse,thebetter;forwhileIcannotblightyou,youmayrefreshme.”Afterthisdigressionheproceeded-
“Iremainedinthebalcony.‘Theywillcometoherboudoir,nodoubt,’thoughtI:‘letmeprepareanambush.’Soputtingmyhandinthroughtheopenwindow,Idrewthecurtainoverit,leavingonlyanopeningthroughwhichIcouldtakeobservations;thenIclosedthecasement,allbutachinkjustwideenoughtofurnishanoutlettolovers’whisperedvows:thenIstolebacktomychair;andasIresumeditthepaircamein.Myeyewasquicklyattheaperture.Celine’schamber-maidentered,litalamp,leftitonthetable,andwithdrew.Thecouplewerethusrevealedtomeclearly:bothremovedtheircloaks,andtherewas‘theVarens,’shininginsatinandjewels,—mygiftsofcourse,—andtherewashercompanioninanofficer’suniform;andIknewhimforayoungroueofavicomte—abrainlessandviciousyouthwhomIhadsometimesmetinsociety,andhadneverthoughtofhatingbecauseIdespisedhimsoabsolutely.Onrecognisinghim,thefangofthesnakeJealousywasinstantlybroken;becauseatthesamemomentmyloveforCelinesankunderanextinguisher.Awomanwhocouldbetraymeforsucharivalwasnotworth
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contendingfor;shedeservedonlyscorn;less,however,thanI,whohadbeenherdupe.
“Theybegantotalk;theirconversationeasedmecompletely:frivolous,mercenary,heartless,andsenseless,itwasrathercalculatedtowearythanenragealistener.Acardofminelayonthetable;thisbeingperceived,broughtmynameunderdiscussion.Neitherofthempossessedenergyorwittobelabourmesoundly,buttheyinsultedmeascoarselyastheycouldintheirlittleway:especiallyCeline,whoevenwaxedratherbrilliantonmypersonaldefects—deformitiesshetermedthem.Nowithadbeenhercustomtolaunchoutintoferventadmirationofwhatshecalledmy‘beautemale:’whereinshediffereddiametricallyfromyou,whotoldmepoint-blank,atthesecondinterview,thatyoudidnotthinkmehandsome.The
contraststruckmeatthetimeand—“
Adeleherecamerunningupagain.
“Monsieur,Johnhasjustbeentosaythatyouragenthascalledandwishestoseeyou.”
“Ah!inthatcaseImustabridge.Openingthewindow,Iwalkedinuponthem;liberatedCelinefrommyprotection;gavehernoticetovacateherhotel;offeredherapurseforimmediateexigencies;disregardedscreams,hysterics,prayers,protestations,convulsions;madeanappointmentwiththevicomteforameetingattheBoisdeBoulogne.NextmorningIhadthepleasureofencounteringhim;leftabulletinoneofhispooretiolatedarms,feebleasthewingofachickenin
243
thepip,andthenthoughtIhaddonewiththewholecrew.ButunluckilytheVarens,sixmonthsbefore,hadgivenmethisfiletteAdele,who,sheaffirmed,wasmydaughter;andperhapsshemaybe,thoughIseenoproofsofsuchgrimpaternitywritteninhercountenance:Pilotismorelikemethanshe.SomeyearsafterIhadbrokenwiththemother,sheabandonedherchild,andranawaytoItalywithamusicianorsinger.IacknowledgednonaturalclaimonAdele’sparttobesupportedbyme,nordoInowacknowledgeany,forIamnotherfather;buthearingthatshewasquitedestitute,Ie’entookthepoorthingoutoftheslimeandmudofParis,andtransplantedithere,togrowupcleaninthewholesomesoilofanEnglishcountrygarden.Mrs.Fairfaxfoundyoutotrainit;butnowyouknowthatitistheillegitimateoffspringofaFrenchopera-girl,youwillperhapsthinkdifferentlyofyourpostandprotegee:youwillbecomingtomesomedaywithnoticethatyouhavefoundanotherplace—thatyoubegmetolookoutforanewgoverness,&c.—Eh?”
“No:Adeleisnotanswerableforeitherhermother’sfaultsoryours:Ihavearegardforher;andnowthatIknowsheis,inasense,parentless—forsakenbyhermotheranddisownedbyyou,sir—Ishallclingclosertoherthanbefore.HowcouldIpossiblypreferthespoiltpetofawealthyfamily,whowouldhatehergovernessasanuisance,toalonelylittleorphan,wholeanstowardsherasafriend?”
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“Oh,thatisthelightinwhichyouviewit!Well,Imustgoinnow;andyoutoo:itdarkens.”
ButIstayedoutafewminuteslongerwithAdeleandPilot—ranaracewithher,andplayedagameofbattledoreandshuttlecock.Whenwewentin,andIhadremovedherbonnetandcoat,Itookheronmyknee;keptherthereanhour,allowinghertoprattleassheliked:notrebukingevensomelittlefreedomsandtrivialitiesintowhichshewasapttostraywhenmuchnoticed,andwhichbetrayedinherasuperficialityofcharacter,inheritedprobablyfromhermother,hardlycongenialtoanEnglishmind.Stillshehadhermerits;andIwasdisposedtoappreciateallthatwasgoodinhertotheutmost.IsoughtinhercountenanceandfeaturesalikenesstoMr.Rochester,butfoundnone:notrait,noturnofexpressionannouncedrelationship.Itwasapity:ifshecouldbuthavebeenprovedtoresemblehim,hewouldhavethoughtmoreofher.
ItwasnottillafterIhadwithdrawntomyownchamberforthenight,thatIsteadilyreviewedthetaleMr.Rochesterhadtoldme.Ashehadsaid,therewasprobablynothingatallextraordinaryinthesubstanceofthenarrativeitself:awealthyEnglishman’spassionforaFrenchdancer,andhertreacherytohim,wereeverydaymattersenough,nodoubt,insociety;buttherewassomethingdecidedlystrangeintheparoxysmofemotionwhichhadsuddenlyseizedhimwhenhewasintheactofexpressingthepresentcontentmentofhismood,andhisnewlyrevivedpleasureintheoldhallanditsenvirons.Imeditatedwonderinglyonthis
245
incident;butgraduallyquittingit,asIfounditforthepresentinexplicable,Iturnedtotheconsiderationofmymaster’smannertomyself.Theconfidencehehadthoughtfittoreposeinmeseemedatributetomydiscretion:Iregardedandaccepteditassuch.Hisdeportmenthadnowforsomeweeksbeenmoreuniformtowardsmethanatthefirst.Ineverseemedinhisway;hedidnottakefitsofchillinghauteur:whenhemetmeunexpectedly,theencounterseemedwelcome;hehadalwaysawordandsometimesasmileforme:whensummonedbyformalinvitationtohispresence,IwashonouredbyacordialityofreceptionthatmademefeelIreallypossessedthepowertoamusehim,andthattheseeveningconferencesweresoughtasmuchforhispleasureasformybenefit.
I,indeed,talkedcomparativelylittle,butIheardhimtalkwithrelish.Itwashisnaturetobecommunicative;helikedtoopentoamindunacquaintedwiththeworldglimpsesofitsscenesandways(Idonotmeanitscorruptscenesandwickedways,butsuchasderivedtheirinterestfromthegreatscaleonwhichtheywereacted,thestrangenoveltybywhichtheywerecharacterised);andIhadakeendelightinreceivingthenewideasheoffered,inimaginingthenewpicturesheportrayed,andfollowinghiminthoughtthroughthenewregionshedisclosed,neverstartledortroubledbyonenoxiousallusion.
Theeaseofhismannerfreedmefrompainfulrestraint:thefriendlyfrankness,ascorrectascordial,withwhichhetreatedme,drewmetohim.Ifeltattimesasifhe
246
weremyrelationratherthanmymaster:yethewasimperioussometimesstill;butIdidnotmindthat;Isawitwashisway.Sohappy,sogratifieddidIbecomewiththisnewinterestaddedtolife,thatIceasedto
pineafterkindred:mythincrescent-destinyseemedtoenlarge;theblanksofexistencewerefilledup;mybodilyhealthimproved;Igatheredfleshandstrength.
AndwasMr.Rochesternowuglyinmyeyes?No,
reader:gratitude,andmanyassociations,allpleasurableandgenial,madehisfacetheobjectIbestlikedtosee;hispresenceinaroomwasmorecheeringthanthebrightestfire.YetIhadnotforgottenhisfaults;indeed,Icouldnot,forhebroughtthemfrequentlybeforeme.Hewasproud,sardonic,harshtoinferiorityofevery
description:inmysecretsoulIknewthathisgreatkindnesstomewasbalancedbyunjustseveritytomanyothers.Hewasmoody,too;unaccountablyso;Imorethanonce,whensentfortoreadtohim,foundhimsittinginhislibraryalone,withhisheadbentonhisfoldedarms;and,whenhelookedup,amorose,almostamalignant,scowlblackenedhisfeatures.ButIbelievedthathismoodiness,hisharshness,andhisformerfaultsofmorality(IsayFORMER,fornowheseemedcorrectedofthem)hadtheirsourceinsomecruelcrossoffate.Ibelievedhewasnaturallyamanofbettertendencies,higherprinciples,andpurertastesthansuchascircumstanceshaddeveloped,educationinstilled,ordestinyencouraged.Ithoughttherewereexcellentmaterialsinhim;thoughforthepresenttheyhungtogethersomewhatspoiledandtangled.Icannot
247
denythatIgrievedforhisgrief,whateverthatwas,andwouldhavegivenmuchtoassuageit.
ThoughIhadnowextinguishedmycandleandwaslaiddowninbed,Icouldnotsleepforthinkingofhislookwhenhepausedintheavenue,andtoldhowhisdestinyhadrisenupbeforehim,anddaredhimtobehappyatThornfield.
“Whynot?”Iaskedmyself.“Whatalienateshimfromthehouse?Willheleaveitagainsoon?Mrs.Fairfaxsaidheseldomstayedherelongerthanafortnightatatime;andhehasnowbeenresidenteightweeks.Ifhedoesgo,thechangewillbedoleful.Supposeheshouldbeabsentspring,summer,andautumn:howjoylesssunshineandfinedayswillseem!”
IhardlyknowwhetherIhadsleptornotafterthismusing;atanyrate,Istartedwideawakeonhearingavaguemurmur,peculiarandlugubrious,whichsounded,Ithought,justaboveme.IwishedIhadkeptmycandleburning:thenightwasdrearilydark;myspiritsweredepressed.Iroseandsatupinbed,listening.Thesoundwashushed.
Itriedagaintosleep;butmyheartbeatanxiously:myinwardtranquillitywasbroken.Theclock,fardowninthehall,strucktwo.Justthenitseemedmychamber-doorwastouched;asiffingershadsweptthepanelsingropingawayalongthedarkgalleryoutside.Isaid,“Whoisthere?”Nothinganswered.Iwaschilledwithfear.
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AllatonceIrememberedthatitmightbePilot,who,whenthekitchen-doorchancedtobeleftopen,notunfrequentlyfoundhiswayuptothethresholdofMr.Rochester’schamber:Ihadseenhimlyingtheremyselfinthemornings.Theideacalmedmesomewhat:Ilaydown.Silencecomposesthenerves;andasanunbrokenhushnowreignedagainthroughthewholehouse,Ibegantofeelthereturnofslumber.ButitwasnotfatedthatIshouldsleepthatnight.Adreamhadscarcelyapproachedmyear,whenitfledaffrighted,scaredbyamarrow-freezingincidentenough.
Thiswasademoniaclaugh—low,suppressed,anddeep—uttered,asitseemed,attheverykeyholeofmychamberdoor.Theheadofmybedwasnearthedoor,andIthoughtatfirstthegoblin-laugherstoodatmybedside—orrather,crouchedbymypillow:butIrose,lookedround,andcouldseenothing;while,asIstillgazed,theunnaturalsoundwasreiterated:andIknewitcamefrombehindthepanels.Myfirstimpulsewastoriseandfastenthebolt;mynext,againtocryout,“Whoisthere?”
Somethinggurgledandmoaned.Erelong,stepsretreatedupthegallerytowardsthethird-storeystaircase:adoorhadlatelybeenmadetoshutinthatstaircase;Ihearditopenandclose,andallwasstill.
“WasthatGracePoole?andisshepossessedwithadevil?”thoughtI.Impossiblenowtoremainlongerbymyself:ImustgotoMrs.Fairfax.Ihurriedonmyfrockandashawl;Iwithdrewtheboltandopenedthedoor
249
withatremblinghand.Therewasacandleburningjustoutside,andonthemattinginthegallery.Iwassurprisedatthiscircumstance:butstillmorewasIamazedtoperceivetheairquitedim,asiffilledwithsmoke;and,whilelookingtotherighthandandleft,tofindwhencethesebluewreathsissued,Ibecamefurtherawareofastrongsmellofburning.
Somethingcreaked:itwasadoorajar;andthatdoorwasMr.Rochester’s,andthesmokerushedinacloudfromthence.IthoughtnomoreofMrs.Fairfax;IthoughtnomoreofGracePoole,orthelaugh:inaninstant,Iwaswithinthechamber.Tonguesofflamedartedroundthebed:thecurtainswereonfire.Inthemidstofblazeandvapour,Mr.Rochesterlaystretchedmotionless,indeepsleep.
“Wake!wake!”Icried.Ishookhim,butheonlymurmuredandturned:thesmokehadstupefiedhim.Notamomentcouldbelost:theverysheetswerekindling,Irushedtohisbasinandewer;fortunately,onewaswideandtheotherdeep,andbothwerefilledwithwater.Iheavedthemup,delugedthebedanditsoccupant,flewbacktomyownroom,broughtmyownwater-jug,baptizedthecouchafresh,and,byGod’said,succeededinextinguishingtheflameswhichweredevouringit.
Thehissofthequenchedelement,thebreakageofapitcherwhichIflungfrommyhandwhenIhademptiedit,and,aboveall,thesplashoftheshower-bathIhadliberallybestowed,rousedMr.Rochesterat
250
last.Thoughitwasnowdark,Iknewhewasawake;becauseIheardhimfulminatingstrangeanathemasat
findinghimselflyinginapoolofwater.
“Isthereaflood?”hecried.
“No,sir,”Ianswered;“buttherehasbeenafire:getup,do;youarequenchednow;Iwillfetchyouacandle.”
“InthenameofalltheelvesinChristendom,isthatJaneEyre?”hedemanded.“Whathaveyoudonewithme,witch,sorceress?Whoisintheroombesidesyou?Haveyouplottedtodrownme?”
“Iwillfetchyouacandle,sir;and,inHeaven’sname,getup.Somebodyhasplottedsomething:youcannottoosoonfindoutwhoandwhatitis.”
“There!Iamupnow;butatyourperilyoufetchacandleyet:waittwominutestillIgetintosomedrygarments,ifanydrytherebe—yes,hereismydressing-gown.Nowrun!”
Ididrun;Ibroughtthecandlewhichstillremainedinthegallery.Hetookitfrommyhand,helditup,andsurveyedthebed,allblackenedandscorched,thesheetsdrenched,thecarpetroundswimminginwater.
“Whatisit?andwhodidit?”heasked.Ibrieflyrelatedtohimwhathadtranspired:thestrangelaughIhadheardinthegallery:thestepascendingtothethirdstorey;thesmoke,—thesmelloffirewhichhadconductedmetohisroom;inwhatstateIhadfound
251
mattersthere,andhowIhaddelugedhimwithallthewaterIcouldlayhandson.
Helistenedverygravely;hisface,asIwenton,expressedmoreconcernthanastonishment;hedidnot
immediatelyspeakwhenIhadconcluded.
“ShallIcallMrs.Fairfax?”Iasked.
“Mrs.Fairfax?No;whatthedeucewouldyoucallherfor?Whatcanshedo?Lethersleepunmolested.”
“ThenIwillfetchLeah,andwakeJohnandhiswife.”
“Notatall:justbestill.Youhaveashawlon.Ifyouarenotwarmenough,youmaytakemycloakyonder;wrapitaboutyou,andsitdowninthearm-chair:there,—Iwillputiton.Nowplaceyourfeetonthestool,tokeepthemoutofthewet.Iamgoingtoleaveyouafewminutes.Ishalltakethecandle.RemainwhereyouaretillIreturn;beasstillasamouse.Imustpayavisittothesecondstorey.Don’tmove,remember,orcallanyone.”
Hewent:Iwatchedthelightwithdraw.Hepassedupthegalleryverysoftly,unclosedthestaircasedoorwithaslittlenoiseaspossible,shutitafterhim,andthelastrayvanished.Iwasleftintotaldarkness.Ilistenedforsomenoise,butheardnothing.Averylongtimeelapsed.Igrewweary:itwascold,inspiteofthecloak;andthenIdidnotseetheuseofstaying,asIwasnottorousethehouse.IwasonthepointofriskingMr.Rochester’sdispleasurebydisobeyinghisorders,when
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thelightoncemoregleameddimlyonthegallerywall,andIheardhisunshodfeettreadthematting.“Ihopeitishe,”thoughtI,“andnotsomethingwor
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