读后续写讲评帮助朋友买棒球帽课件广东省惠州一模英语试题

2014年惠一调读后续写Joeywassoexcitedhecouldhardlywaittogettothestore.HewalkedsofastthathissisterBethhadtorun.“Doyouhavetohurrylikethat?”shepuffed.OnhiswayfromschoolhehadseenthatbaseballcapinRogers’storewindow.Onlyadollar,andthiswasthelastcap!Joeyhadlookedatthecapalongtime.Hewanteditmorethananything.Everyboyatschoolhadone.Joeythoughtofhispiggybank,intowhichheputeverycoinforrunningerrands(差使)forhisfamilyandneighbors.Joeyracedhome,notstoppingforanything.Heheldthefatironpig,openeditcarefully,andpouredoutthecoins.Ten...twenty...thirty...ninetycents.Ifonlyhehadonemoredime(一角硬币)!Lostinthought,Joeystaredoutthewindow.“What’swrong,Joey?”askedMother.Joeytoldaboutthemoneyandthecap.“Ifyougivemewhatyouhave,I’lladdadime,”Mothersaid,handinghimadollarbill.“I’llhavesomeerrandsforyoutomorrow.”Joeyjumpedup.“Oh,thanks,Mom.That’sgreat!”AndawaywentJoeyandBethtothestorewiththedollarbillinJoey’spocket.Theyturnedthelastcorner.Aheadwasagroupofboysandgirls,talkingheatedlyandlookingdownatthesidewalk.OneofthechildrenwasRonny,anewboywhohadbeeninthistownonlyashorttime.Ronny’sfatherhadbeensick,sotherewasn’tmuchmoneyforextras--likebaseballcap.“What’sthematter?”Bethasked,anxiously.“It’sRonny,”answeredSusan.“He’sbeenworkingandfinallysavedupawholedollar,andnowit’slost!”JoeywentovertoRonny.“We’llallhelplook.We’llfindit!”“RonnywasgoingtogetthatlastcapinRogers’window,”putinBilly.“Iwanteditalot.Iwanttojointhem.”Ronnysaidslowly.SuddenlyJoeyrememberedhowRonnyhadwatchedthefellowsplayingbaseball,hiseyeslightingupeagerlyastheyshoutedandran.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard._________________________________________________________Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket.

______________________________________________01ReadforThemesRead主题语境：“人与社会”主题：“帮助朋友”。故事概要：主人公Joey非常渴望得到一顶棒球帽，在去商店的路上偶遇同去买棒球帽却将钱遗失的Ronny。最后，善解人意的Joey将自己购买帽子的一美元巧妙地给了Ronny，助Ronny实现了愿望。time(When)place(Where)character（Who）

event(What)settingJoey；Beth；RonnywhenJoeywasonthewaytotheRogers’storetobuybaseballcap

onthewaytotheRogers’storeJoeycameacrossRonny,whoalsowenttobuyabaseballcapbutlosthismoney.Intheend,theempatheticJoeycleverlygivesRonnythedollarheboughtforthelastbaseballcap,helpingRonnymakehiswishcometrue.02ReadSettingRead03ReadReadforConflictsEveryboyatschoolhadonecap.Joeymanagedtogetonedollarbyrunningerrandsandwenttobuythelastbaseballcapinthestore.Ronnywasanewboyinthetownandwaseagertojoinotherboys.Hewantedtobuythecapaswellandhadfinallysaveduponedollar,butitwaslost.Hisfatherwassick,andtherewasn’tmuchmoneyforextras.Bothofthemweregoingtobuythelastbaseballcap,andRonnylosthismoneytobuythecap.04Readforplots

ReadPara.1:Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard.

determinedPara.2:Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket

relievedandjoyfulHecameacrossRonny,wholostthemoneytobuythelastcap.sympatheticJoeywantedthebaseballcapaseveryboyintheschoolhadone.

expectant

Joeygotonedollartobuythelastcapandwasgoingtobuythecap.excitedStoryMountain思路启发02Para.1:Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghardPara.2:

Forcingasmile,JoeyshowedBeththeemptypocket.Whatdidhethinkabout?Whatdecisiondidhemake?Whatdidhedotosolvetheproblem?WhydidheshowBeththeemptypocket?HowdidBethreactafterknowingthetruth?DidRonnygetthecap?HowdidJoeyfeelabouttheresult?Whatisthetheme?05ReadforCluesandpredictthePlotRead两段首句定一段二段二首正能量·能力焦点·备考重点22—25分（优秀）

1.创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容，富有逻辑性，续写完整，与原文情境融洽度高；

2.使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达流畅，语言错误很少，且完全不影响理解；

3.自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间衔接手段，全文结构清晰，前后呼应，意义连贯。新高考全国卷续写评分（节选）与原文可衔接点LearnthestandardToshowin3aspects:①Bodylanguage②Facialexpression③Conversation

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(1)Iwasdelighted.Myfacelitupwitharadiantsmileandmyeyesshonewithdelight.Iwasdelightedandexclaimed,“Imadeit!”

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(2)Iwasgratefultomyteacher.Withawarmsmileandagentlenod,Iexpressedmygratitudetomyteacher."Thankyousomuchforyourguidanceandsupport,"Isaid,myvoicefilledwithsincerity.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(3)Heencouragedme.AsIwalkedintotheroom,hegreetedmewithathumbs-up."I'mheretosupportyoueverystepoftheway,"hesaid,hisvoicefilledwithencouragement.Withawarmsmileandagentlepatontheshoulder,heencouragedmetokeepgoing."Ibelieveinyou,"hesaid,hiseyesfilledwithconfidence.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting1.Applyproperexpressionsandsentencepatterns.

(1)罗尼捡起钞票。（加adj;adv.——情绪/动作)

Overwhelminglyexcitedanddelighted,Ronnypickedupthebill.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting1.Applyproperexpressionsandsentencepatterns.

(1)贝丝说：“乔伊，你真的没有找到罗尼的美元。这是你的。(加动作、表情、情绪）贝丝睁大眼睛，惊讶地说：“乔伊，你真的没有找到罗尼的美元。这是你的。

Eyeswideopen,Bethutteredinsurprise,“Joey,youdidn’treallyfindRonny’sdollar.Itwasyours.”

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWriting(2)feelsthdoingsth(情绪描写）在知道哥哥的所作所为后，贝丝感到非常自豪

Afterknowingwhatherbrotherhaddone,Bethfeltveryproud.

Afterknowingwhatherbrotherhaddone,Bethfeltaflushofpridefloodingoverher.

GivedescriptioninanindirectwayWritingTrytowritepara.2.Pleaserefertotheassessmentformwhenyouwrite.表达积累04Abitdisappointedashewas,hestillfeltasenseofachievement.Itturnedoutthathisdeedsnotonlygaveahelpinghandtoapersoninneed,butalsogavehimselfasweettasteofbeingkind.Atthethoughtofhisdisappointedlook/Seeinghimclosetotears,Joeydeterminedtodohislittlebittohelphim.Awaveofsatisfactionsweptoverhim.Ronnynoddedingratitude,eyesglisteningwithheld-backtears.ThesceneoftheshabbycabinandtheimageofhissickfatherpoppingintoJoey’smind,aninnervoiceurgedhimtofollowhisheartatanyexpense.Withoutasecondthought,Joeyreachedintohispocketandsecretlydroppeditontheground.Whatfollowedwasanawkwardlylongsilence,whichwaseventuallybrokenbyBeth’sstomachgrowlingloudly.Thissituationputhiminadifficultposition.HeresolvedhisinternalconflictbytakingoutthebillandwavingitatRonny.范文赏析03

Joeystaredattheground,thinkinghard.ThatcapwouldmakeRonnyfeelhereallybelongedtothefellowgroup.Buthehimselfhadlongedforitsomuch.Hebithislowerlips,withhishandtightlyclutchingthedollar.Ronny’swordsconstantlyflashedthroughhismind.IthithimthatheshoulddosomethingniceforRonny.Hebentdownandgaveashout,“Look!Lookhere!”Theyallcrowdedaround.Therealmosthiddenintheleaveswastheunmistakablegreenofadollarbill!

Overwhelminglyexcitedanddelighted,Ronnypic