破产姐妹 双语剧本 第一季 第16集

一直想为每部美剧做一份笔记,一直想鼓励每个美剧迷读一点剧本,做一点笔记.破产姐妹第一季第十六集感谢天天美剧提供字幕,Max,Caroline,IhaveanannouncementMaxCaroline我要宣布个事儿You'reactuallymuchshorterandarewalkingonstilts?宣布以前你是穿着高跷其实你更矮吗I'vemadeaspecialmenufortomorrow'sValentine'snightdinner我为明晚的情人节晚餐做了一个特别菜谱Han,that'ssoromanticHan你太浪漫啦Yeah,romanticandwrong哼是错误的浪漫Thisplaceisn't"WhenHarrymetSally"这里不是Harry和Sally相遇的地方[WhenHarryMetSally是一部电影]It's"WhenHarrymetSalmonella"而是Harry感染沙门氏菌的地方Max,ClubSandwichMax总汇三明治Andheadsup,Ilostaband-aid注意点哦我丢了个创口贴ThememenumeansIcanchargeonebiggerprice主题菜单意味着我可以多收钱likeintoprestaurant像高级饭店一样的收费标准See,"prickfix"看到没合痂菜单OhHan,it'spronounced"prixfixe"Han应该说成定价菜单Haveyouseenourchef?It'sdefinitely"prickfix"刚你没听大厨说掉了创口贴吗当然是合痂Tomorrownight,CupidwillcometoWilliamsburgdiner明晚丘比特会降临咱们店Didn'thavethehearttotellhim:"Cupidisdead"真不忍心告诉他丘比特已经死了Yup,hitbyamacktruckcrossingtheBrooklyn-QueensExpressway他在横穿布鲁克林到皇后区的高速公路时被卡车撞了Hisfatdiaperedbabyasssplatteredalloverthewindshield他那个裹着尿布的肥屁股溅了我一挡风玻璃IloveValentine'sDay我爱死情人节了That'syourreaction?IkilledCupid.你就这反应吗我干掉了丘比特诶You'reeitherromanticornot,你浪漫或者不浪漫I'mnotevengonnatrytoconvinceyou我都不会想要去说服你Ohheisdead,andtheproof...哦他是真的死了证据就是Whenisthelasttimeyouknewanyonewhofellinlove?你难道知道上次有人坠入爱河是什么时候Reallove,likeIcelovesCoco像Ice爱Coco那样的真爱[Ice和Coco是真人秀里面的一对恩爱夫妻]Howaboutthem?他们怎样They'vebeenholdinghandsandromanticwhisperingallnight他们一整晚都紧握双手浪漫低语Theirromanticwhisperinggoeslikethis他们的浪漫低语是这样的"Iownnippleclamps""我有乳头夹"Plink,Cupidisnotdead叮铃丘比特没有死Plink,theregoeshislittlearrow叮铃爱神之箭来了Plink,plink叮铃叮铃Clamp,ouch,clamp,ouch我夹哎呦我夹哎呦Clampclamp,ouchouch我夹我夹哎呦哎呦本字幕仅供学习交流严禁用于商业用途=============================破产姐妹第一季第十六集天天美剧字幕组时间轴:猫小七雪域清廷=============================听译:大Z安小姐饺子阿飘虫虫校对:Leah米兰黄鱼小雪Max,sinceit'sjustaftermidnight,Max既然刚过了午夜12点it'snowofficiallyValentine'sday.现在就正式是情人节啦I'vegotsomethinginhereforyou,guesswhatitis?我给你准备了东西猜猜是什么Well,judgingfromthatsmileonyourface,从你脸上的笑容I'dsayit'safinger-sizeholeinyourapron我猜你的围裙上有个手指大的洞洞Candyhearts心形糖果Here,holdoutyourhands,let'sgetourhearton来伸出你的手把我们的小心心放上面跳动I'mwayaheadofyou我早就心动了"Bemine",classic.What'syourssay?经典的"你是我的"你的写了啥?"CarolineChanningislame""CarolineChanning很老土""Ihateyouforgivingmethis""我恨你给了我这个""Valentine'sDayistheworst""情人节什么的最讨厌了"Oh,cinnamon哦肉桂味的Goodevening,Earl晚上好啊EarlMymymy天啊Sophie,seeingyouinthatdressmakesmyheartraceSophie看见你穿着这裙子让我心跳加速啊Two-scoopedicecreaminaonescoopcone双球冰淇淋都融化成单球的了OhEarl,youmakemesmile哦Earl你总能逗我笑IwishwehadblackpeopleinPolandwhenIwasgrowingup我真希望我在波兰长大的时候那里也有黑人Toobad,wereallywould'veenjoyedsegregationandHitler我们应该会喜欢种族隔离和希特勒的[反语涉及到历史问题]Hibuildingneighbors好呀亲爱的邻居WellIwasjustdrivingbyandsinceitwasraining我刚路过因为下雨了IthoughtIcouldofferyoutwogirlsaridehomeinmytowncar我想来接你们用我的老爷车送你们回家Thelasttimesomeoneofferedmearide,上次有人要开车送我IendedupinadrainagepipeinJersey结果送到了Jersey的排水管道里Sophieyourentatowncar?Sophie租了辆老爷车?Yes,butonlywhenit'sraining对啊不过只在下雨天Because,youknow,Igothairextensionsandnailextensions因为我做了接发接了指甲andyouknowI...I'mtooextendedtowalk你懂的各种加长没法走了Hello你好啊Isawyoufromkitchen我从厨房就看到你了Youturnedpick-upwindowintopainting你把上菜的窗口变成了一幅画Plink叮铃Velvetpaintingofnudeatcounter一幅在柜台的天鹅绒裸体画Clamp,ouch我夹哎呦Thegirlstellmeyouowncleaningservice姑娘们告诉我你有一家清洁服务公司Iwouldliketohireyoutocleanmyhouse我想雇你来清洁我的房子Ohyea,thisispossible.Iwillsendgirl哦可以啊我会派姑娘去Whatisyouraddress?你的地址是?Idon'twantsomegirl我不想要别的姑娘Iwantyoutocomeclean我就想要你来打扫Ohyoucannotgetmetocome你不可能让我去[去有"高潮"的意思]OhIcangetyoutocome我当然能No,Icannolongercomeanymore不行我再也不能"去"了No,MaxandCarolinecancomeMax和Caroline可以去Nono,wearenotcoming不不我们不去Sonoonecangetyoutocome?所以没人能让你"去"咯Well,somepeoplecangetmetocome...有人可以Justnotyou反正不是你Hardtoget,Ilikeit不容易得手我喜欢Gogetthecoats,Iwillgetthischeck你去拿衣服我来收小票Hereisthelastcheck,Earl给你最后一张小票EarlOhMax,canyoutakecareofthatforme,please?哦Max那张你能帮我处理了么??Sure,why?可以怎么了?Ohnothingpressing.Justhavingaheartattack哦没什么就是心脏病发作了Iwillseeyoutomorrow明天见哈Wait,you'rehavingaheartattack?等一下你有心脏病?Mostdefinitely确定以及肯定I'vehadthreemylife,we'reoldfriends.我这辈子犯过三次心脏病我们是老朋友啦Earl,you'rehavingaheartattackEarl你心脏病发作了啊Iwillbefine.Haveyouseenmytangerine?我会没事的你有看见我的橘子没?Ihaveatangerinesetasideformywalkhome我放了个橘子在这回家路上吃的Forgetthetangerine别管你的橘子了Earl'shavingaheartattack.Earl心脏病犯了Sophie,we'retakingthetowncartothehospitalSophie我们得开你的老爷车去医院Earl,whendidthepainstart?Earl什么时候开始疼的啊?WhenIsawSophieinthatdress.看到Sophie穿着那条裙子的时候Oh,hellno哦我勒个去Whyisthislinesolong?这队怎么这么长?ThenewiPhonecomeout?新iPhone出来了么?Let'sjustgethimoverthere我们还是先把他送到那边去吧Max,anythingyoucandotomovethisalong?Max你能变个法把这里清干净么?Move!Celebritycomingthrough躲开明星来了MorganFreemanhavingaheartattackMorganFreeman心脏病发了[美国黑人男演员出演过七宗罪肖申克的救赎]He'shavingaheartattack他心脏病发作了Onascaleofonetoten,what'syourpain?从1到10的程度描述一下你的疼痛感Er..two,wewerejustintheneighborhoodlookingforaplacetohavejello呃2我们只是在这片找个地方尿尿IwastalkingtoMorganFreeman我是在跟MorganFreeman说Takehimnow赶紧救人呐Sir,hehasahistoryofhearttrouble先生他有过心脏病史Alright,we'llgethimin好吧让他进来Earl,gowiththenurseEarl跟着护士走Damn,it'saman蛋疼是个男的We'llberightouthere,Earl.Everythingisgonnabeokay我们就在这外面Earl你会没事的Haveaseatandwait坐下等着吧Lookatme,gingerbread看着我姜饼ifanythinghappenstohim,Iwillstapleyournutsacktothatchair他要是少了一根汗毛我就把你的蛋蛋切下来订在那张椅子上That'sright,it'smeagain嗯哼又是我Forthetenthtime,he'sfine我都说第十次了他没事Hehadaminorattack,buthe'singoodhands只是轻微的病发我们会好好照顾他的Iwouldknow,Ihadbothofmyheartattackshere我知道是因为我两次心脏病发都是在这儿Iwannagobackthereandseeformyself我要到后面亲眼看一下Familymembersonly限家属探访Well,I'mhisdaughter好吧我是他女儿Oh,really?哦真的么?Itsaysherehe's75yearsold这里写着他75岁Well,hestartedlate那他起步有点迟AndAfricanAmerican非裔美国人Hestartedlatewithahonkey.I'moneofthosecombobabies他和一个白鬼起步得有点迟嘛我就是传说中的组合婴儿Here,youneedproof?看这里你要证据么MylastnameisBlack我姓黑See,MaxBlack看麦克斯·黒Heisblack.IamBlack.It'dbedumbifweweren'trelated他是黑人我又姓黑我们要是没血缘关系不是太傻了么CanIjustgetbacktoplayingangrybirds?我可以坐回去玩愤怒的小鸟了么?Youareyammeringonhereaboutnothing你在这为鸡毛蒜皮斤斤计较whiletheloveofmylifeisbacktherealoneandscared而我的一生挚爱却在里面寂寞惶恐Yousaidhewasyourfather.Nowheistheloveofyourlife?你刚说他是你爸现在又成一生挚爱啦?He'sboth.We'refromthesouth两个都是我们南方来的Haveaseat坐下吧Igotustwolattes.Ittookforever我买了拿铁等了超级久Theguyinfrontofmemissedhiskidneytransplant我前面的那个男的错过了他的换肾手术waitingforamochafrapuccino就为了等一杯摩卡星冰乐Anynews?怎么样了?Thesame,buttheywon'tletmebackthere老样子但是他们不让我进去IeventoldthemEarlwasmyfather我都骗他们Earl是我爸了Now'smychance,nurseChewbacca'sonthemove机会来了Chewbacca移动了[Chewbacca是电影《星球大战》的角色负责守卫]I'mgoingbackthere我要进里面去Ifyouseeanyoneabouttonoticemesneakby,如果你看到有人要发现我溜进去drawalltheattentiontoyourself你就把注意力都引到自己身上Max,Idon'tknowifIcandothatMax我不知道我能不能做到You'reright.That'skindofmything你说得对成为焦点这种事一向非我莫属Okay,letmethink好吧我想想Youdon'thavetimetothink,justthrowthecoffeesagainstthewall你没时间想了直接把咖啡砸到墙上去That'sridiculous你搞笑么IgraduatedtopofmyclassatWarton在沃顿时我可是班里的顶尖毕业生Icandobetterthanthat我的演技能再高超点Ohmygod额滴神哪Thosewerenotnon-fat里面加的不是脱脂牛奶Earl,youinhere?Earl你在里面吗?Max,isthatyou?Max是你吗?Uhhuh,ain'tyousweet?啊哈那么贴心Butyoudidn'thavetowaitaroundforme但是你不用留下来陪我了ThisisNarcissus.She'sfromtheFijiIslands这位是Narcissus从斐济来的Andgivesonehellofaspongebath她还帮我做了一次爽歪歪的擦澡Hi,canwehaveaminutealone?嗨能让我们单独聊会么Earl,doyouthinkthisisagoodtimetohaveaspongebath?Earl你觉得现在是擦澡的时候么Imeaninyourcondition?就以你现在的状况?Max,whentheylooklikethat,Max如果给你擦澡的都是那样的美女there'sneverabadtimeforaspongebath啥时候擦澡都行So,you'redoingokaynow?所以你现在没事了?Prettygood.Thedoctorsaysitwasamildone很不错医生说这次病情并不严重butI'mgonnahavetostayhereacouplenights但是我还要在这里住两晚Couldyoufindouthowmuchextraformetogetmyownroom?你能不能去打听一下给我弄个单间需要另加多少钱Aprivateroom?单间?ThelasttimeIwasinoneoftheseplaces,我上次待这种地方的时候theguyinthebednexttomethoughthewasaparrot我隔壁床的伙计以为他是只鹦鹉andaskedmeforcrackersthewholedamnnighttmd一整晚都问我要饼干Done.I'llgetyouyourownroom成给你弄个单间Anddon'tworryabouttheexpenses别担心医药费Igotalittlemoneystashedawayforarainyday我为不测风云早准备好存款了Iamnotusingyourmoney我不会用你的钱的Butletmeguess,"rainyday"isastrainofweed?我猜猜不测风云指的是大麻紧缺Nowyou'regettingit说到点子上了I'llseeyoulater迟点见Don'tdie,orIwillkillyou别挂了不然我就杀了你Sowhat,Nowyouwantaprivateroom?干嘛现在你还想要一个单间?Howishegonnapayforthat?他怎么付得起?Oh,sothatoldmanhastobetheonlymanofAmerica哦所以全美就只有那个老人whohastopaymedicalbills?得付药费么?Mr.FreemanhasdonealotofsuccessfulmoviesFreeman先生拍过很多成功的电影Idon'tthinkyoursacarsticattitudeisveryprofessional我认为你这种挖苦人的态度很没职业风范Professional?职业风范?Um..anhourago,一小时前yourlittlethugfriendherethreatenedtocutmesodeepthatI'dhaveavagina你站在这里的暴徒朋友威胁要给我割个阴道Thatofferstillstands那个提议依旧成立She'supset她有点儿心烦Andvirginaishergo-to"阴道"是她的敏感词Well,theonlyreasonIhaven'tcalledsecurityis我之所以没叫保安是因为theywerelaidoff2weeksago他们两星期前都被炒了Whatisyourname?你叫啥名?TigTigAndit'sfake,sogoodluckwiththat还有这是个假名祝你好运Sir,you'rerepresentingtheShecterFamilyWingofthishospital先生你代表的可是Shecter家族赞助医院的形象MyfamilyknowstheShecters我家和Shecter家是世交Infact,theirsonDavidinternshere而且他们的儿子David在这里实习AndifImadeacall,hewouldnotbepleased我如果打个电话告诉他他肯定会不高兴的Ifyouknowthem,whyarewetalkingtothislumpbehindthedesk?早说你认识他们啊何必跟这桌后的大块头叨叨半天啊?Suckit,redface!Wearegoingoveryourhead.吃瘪吧红毛脸我们要把你的头当路面碾过去Howdoyoulikemenow?Bitch!现在怎么样?贱人Getyourphone.SeeifhecouldswingEarlaprivateroom.打电话看他能给Earl安排个单间不IthinkIstillhavehiscellnumber.我应该还有他的号码Wewentoutforafewtimes我们约会了几次untilIrealizedhewasseriousaboutgoingdownthatprobonoroute.等我意识到他当真要走公益路线时我就和他吹了-Didyoutwohavesex?-No.-你们滚过床单?-没有Sweet!That'swhatyougetofferhimfortheroom.太棒了为了房间你可要献身一下了That'samazing.难以置信Someonefoundafloristthatdeliversaftermidnight.有人还能找到午夜送花的花店That'snotsoamazing.才不奇怪Iknowaguynamed"StickyIcky"Rickywhodeliversexclusivelyaftermidnight.我认识个外号"狗皮膏药"Ricky的人他专营半夜上门服务Youknow,IjustrealizedthisisthefirstValentine'sDayIwon'tgetflowersfrommyfather.我才意识到没有爸爸送花的情人节这还是第一次Oh,that'scute你爸老可爱了withabigoldsideofcreepy.透着老古怪No,that'ssweet.才不是是贴心EveryyearfromthetimeIwasababy打我出生后的每一年andevenwhenIhadboyfriends.哪怕有了男朋友I'dgetflowersfrommydadwithacardthatsays,我都会收到我父亲送我的花和写着"You'llalwaysbemyValentine.""你永远是我的挚爱"的卡片IgotasweetValentinefromaguyIlikedinhighschool.高中时我喜欢的男生送我一张情人节卡片Itsaid,"I’llgiveyoufivebuckstoliftyourshirt."上面写着"给你5美元你把衣服撩起来"Caroline...Hey,I'llberightwithyou.Caroline...嘿我马上过去找你Thereheis.CuterthanIremember.那就是他比记忆中帅多了Hey.Wow.WhenIheardyourvoicemail,Icouldn'tbelieveit.嘿听到你的留言我都有点不敢相信Yes,well,Iwasn'tsureyou'dwanttocomedown,because...是啊我都不知道你会不会来因为…-youknow...-Youdumpedmetwoyearsago?-要知道…-你两年前甩了我?Well,"dumped"isastrongword.呃"甩"这个词用得有点重Toremyheartout,shookitinfrontofmyface."把我的心挖出来血淋淋地在我眼前晃"Thatanysofter?这样语气轻点?Hatetointerruptthe"perfectwhiteteeth"convention,真不想打断"好一口白牙"这样的寒暄butwe'reinahurry.但是我们有急事David,thisismyfriendMax.David这是我的朋友MaxAfriendofourswasadmitted,我们的一个朋友住院了andwewerehopingtogethimaprivateroom.我们希望给他找个单人间Oh,soyou'renotheretoreturnmyDartmoutht-shirtyoustolefromme.所以你不是来还从我这偷走的DartmouthT恤Yougavethattome.是你送给我的No,Ididn't!Ilovethatshirt.才没有我爱死那件T恤了IfeellikeIlostcustodyofitinadivorce,我感觉自己就像离婚诉讼中andnowI'mlikeadeadbeatdad.输了孩子监护权的悲惨老爸Howabouttheroom?Anychance?可以安排个单间吗可以吗Please.Prettyplease.拜托了当我求你了Oh,well,sinceyousaid"prettyplease,"既然你都说了"当我求你了"I'llseewhatIcando.我会想办法的Weshouldbeclear.Wecan'tpay.丑话说前头我们没钱支付住院费We'rebroke...我们是穷光蛋...bothofus.两个都是ButI'msureyouheardthatsomewhere.但我肯定你从哪儿听说了吧Yeah...Everywhere.对...到处都在传David,Ihopeyourfamilydidn'tloseanymoneywithmyfather.Didthey?David我希望我爸那件事没给你们家带来什么损失没有吧?Nope,stillfilthyrich.没还是富得流油AndIcandomybesttoburnsomefilthyoffthatrich,bygettingyourfriendaV.I.P.room.我可以撇几勺油出来发发善心给你们的朋友安排一间贵宾间I'lljustdropsomenames.Bythat,Imeanmyown.我只要签几个人名当然就是我自个儿的名字Shouldn'tbeaproblem.应该不成问题IloveJews.爱死犹太人了Yeah,we'regenerous.Spreadtheword.是的我们很慷慨广而告之吧Uh,ifyouwouldn'tmindgivingNarcissusmywhereabouts?如果不介意可以帮我告诉Narcissus我在哪吗Didyouseethelookonthatdesklump'sbig,redface你看到问询处那个红毛脸大块头的表情了吗whenIpushedyoubyhim?我推你过去的时候他的表情Idid,butIthinkthrowinghimthefingerwasatadoutofline.看到了但向他竖中指有点孩子气Wow,Dr.Davidreallyhookedusup.哇David医生的安排真好Yeah,thisislikeanepisodeofCribs对就像一集Cribs[Cribs真人秀]I.C.U.Edition.特护病房版的So,Earl,whatdoyouthink?Earl你觉得怎么样Goodlord,isthataMatisse?我的天那是Matisse的作品吗Ibelieveso.我想是的Then,mama,I'mhome.老妈我到家了Here,ladies,putthesesuckersinyourstation.嘿美女们把棒棒糖放你们这IthinkImightgetalateValentinedinnercrowd.我想情人节晚些时候来就餐的客人会很多Youalsothinkyoumightgetalategrowthspurt,你还想着你也能晚些时候来个二次发育呢butthat'snothappeningeither.这两件事都是妄想Atbest,you'llgetthreesinglegirls你顶多能有三个单身女客waddlingoveratmidnighttocryintosometapioca.午夜左摇右晃地拐进来把脸埋在木薯粉里面哭True.Ineedtocutthecrap.是的我刚才说大话了Valentine'sdinnerisbust.情人节晚餐就是泡影Andlook,Ihavesacrificedmymanhoodfornocashvalue.瞧着亏我还牺牲我的男子气概这样还没人付我钱Butyourwingsareadorable.可是你的翅膀很萌啊Yes,butmatchingpantiesaresuffocatingtheboys.是很可爱但配套的短裤把我的小可爱憋坏了Comeon,closeearly.拜托早点关门We'veonlygotonetableoftwi-hards我们只有一桌客了还是两个小屁孩子IwanttogoseeEarl.我想去看EarlOh,whatthehell?IlovemymanEarl,too.哦那又怎样我也爱EarlSoscrewit.Let'sflyoverthere.管他呢咱们赶紧飞过去看他吧Ooh,thisisn'tlikethehospitalsinPoland.哦这儿的医院和波兰的不一样嘛Thelightsareworking.灯竟然是亮的Okay,sitdown.I'lltakeyouinoneatatime.好啦坐下吧我一次带你们其中一个进去Allright,Cupid,you'refirst.好吧丘比特你第一个Oh,don'twakehim.Gobackout.哦别吵醒他先出去吧Angels.Oh,lord,no.天使啊哦额滴神呀不ThankGodit'syou,Han.感谢上帝是你啊HanIsawthewings,我看见你的翅膀啦andIthoughtheavenwasfilledwithchunkyChinesecherubs然后我就以为天堂里全都是中式的矮胖墩天使andnojazz.连爵士乐也没有Oh,okay,great.I'llseeyouinfive.哦好的太棒了咱们5分钟后见I'mgonnagomeetDr.David.我要去见David医生Oh,waitasecond.哦等一下Ifyou'regoingtogomeetman,youneedlipgloss.你要是去见男人得抹点儿唇膏呀Oh,thanks,Sophie.哦谢谢SophieOh,no,no,no,no.Okay.哦不不不不好吧IhaveValentinegiftIwanttogiveyou.我准备了一份情人节礼物想送给你Oh,hepatitisC?啥丙型肝炎吗？HappyValentine'sDay.情人节快乐Lookatme.你看看我Nowlookatyou.再看看你Nowlookatmeagain.你再看看我Doesthislookrighttoyou?你觉得咱俩般配么?Hardtoget...Ilikeit.不容易得手...我喜欢Oh,hey.Sohow'syourfrienddoing?嘿你的朋友身体怎么样了?Good.AndthanksforthatV.I.P.room.Hefeelslikeamillionbucks很好谢谢你帮我们搞到贵宾病房Earl看上去像有百万身家whichI'msureiswhatitcosts,我肯定那个病房也是价格不菲的soIbroughtyoualittlethank-yougift.所以我给你准备了一份谢礼ThatisnotmyDartmouthshirt.这不是我那件Dartmouth的T恤啊No,that'sheldhostageatthetownhouse.不是那件还被封在我原来的家里ThissaysWilliamsburg.That'swhereIlivenow.这件上面写着Williamsburg我现在就住在那里Noway.That'swhereIlive.不是吧我也住在那Yeah,Imovedtherejusttopissmyfatheroff,当年我搬去就是为了气气我爸butIwounduplovingit.但是住久了还真喜欢那儿Iwounduplovingit,too.我也很喜欢那儿Hey,maybewecouldseeeachothertheresometime...嘿既然住得近我们可以常见面...Youknow,goout?一起出去玩怎么样Yeah,Idon'tthinkso.还是算了吧I'msorry.I'msorry,what?不好意思不好意思你说什么Look,Caroline,it'sbeenreallygreatgettingtoreconnectwithyou,but...Caroline能和你重新联系上我是很开心但是...Idon'tseethishappeningagain.我们之间是不可能了Oh.哦Imean,it'smyparents.我是说我爸妈也不能答应啊Withyourfatherinprison,thewholescandal,你爸现在蹲大牢你一家的丑闻满天飞Icouldneverbringyouhome.我怎么带你回家见父母啊Notevenjusttopissoffyourfather?带回去气气你爸也不够格么?Imean,medatingCarolineChanning...Whatwouldpeoplethink?我是说我要是和CarolineChanning约会...人家会怎么看我?Ihopeyouunderstand.我希望你能理解Oh,hey,thanksforthetee.哦对了谢谢你的T恤Niceofeveryonetostopby.难得你们都想着来看我Didn'tseeCaroline.Shebusytonight?没看见Caroline她今晚很忙?Oh,no,she'shere.没有她在这儿呢She'soutthererunningaround,tryingtoswingaboyfriendsituation正在外面上下蹿想跟给我们贵宾病房的医生withherdoctorfriendwhogotustheV.I.P.hook-up.来上那么一腿把他弄成男朋友呢Whataboutyou,Max?那你呢Max?NosweetheartonValentine'sDay.没人等你过情人节吗Iworryaboutyou.Beniceifyouhadsomeonespecial.我很担心你啊该有个知心人陪着你Ialreadydid.你不是陪着我吗Ah,Max,I'monlygoingtobearoundanother...30or40years.Max我这把老骨头可撑不了...三四十年了Youbetterwidenthenetabit.你该为自己着想啦Visitinghoursareup.Friendshavetoleave.探病时间过了你的朋友该走了Shecanstay,nurse.She'sfamily.她可以留下护士我们是一家人Earl,I'mfamily?Earl我是你家人?Yes,andthebestkindoffamily.是的而且是最好的那种家人Youdon'twantmymoney.你不惦记着跟我要钱呐Hey,Earl.Youlookreallygood.嘿Earl你看起来好多了SodidyouandDr.Davedoitinahospitalcloset?你和Dave医生有没有在医院的更衣室来那么一炮啊Allvery"Grey'sMonotony"?像实习医生格雷一样No,thatwon'tbehappening.没有那才不可能呢Iaskedhimoutandhesaidhecouldneverdateme,我问他愿不愿意一起出去他说他永远不会和我处了becauseofmyfatherandquote"whatwouldpeoplethink?"因为我爸蹲大狱他说"别人会怎么看我啊?"I'msorry.I'msorry,what?不好意思不好意思你说啥IfeellikeIwasjusthitbythesamemacktruckthatkilledCupid.我就觉得是被早上那辆撞死丘比特的重型卡车给碾过去了Well,somebody'sabouttogethitbyatruck...好了要碾也不应该是你被碾...AMaxtruck.Max神卡车来也Hey,you,Dr.I-Forget-Your-Name.喂你这个老娘不记得名字的大夫How?It'swrittenoneverywall.怎么可能?每面墙上都写着呢还不记得?Okay,Dr.Exit.好吧紧急出口大夫Whatiswrongwithyou?你脑子被门夹了?Doctorsaresupposedtobesensitive.医生不是应该慈悲为怀的吗Imean,it'sValentine'sDay,andshehasnothing.况且今天是情人节她一无所有Couldn'tyoubelikeeveryotherguyontheplanet你就不能像地球上其他的男的一样andjustleadheronandnotcallherthenextday?今天先骗骗她第二天不打电话直接玩失踪不就行了Thatisthedecentthingtodo.那才是正经人做的有脸面事Andfortherecord,sheissohoppeduponcandyhearts,我跟你说她可饥渴到拿着心心糖当药嗑youwouldhavegottensometonight,fo'sho!今儿晚上你本来艳福不浅现在全泡汤活该Youjustmadethebiggestmistakeofyourlife.你就刚刚做了你人生最错误的决定Well,Iguessnobodyknowsmebetterthanyou,girlI'venevermetbefore.呦我猜这世上没人比你更懂我啊这位从未谋面的大姐AndnowIwouldliketospeaktotheprobonopartofyou,现在我有话要跟你体内热心公益慷慨大方的那一部分说whounderstandsthatnothingIjustsaid请你不要让我刚才说的话shouldaffectthatmanintheV.I.P.room.影响到贵宾病房里那位老人Thatwasactuallyaverycoolthingtodo.其实你帮他这个忙真是好人Earlisfine.Don'tworry.Earl不会有事的不用担心AndasfarasCarolinegoes,I'msorry,but...对于Caroline的事情我也很抱歉但是...Herfatherhurtalotofpeople.她爸爸曾伤害了许多许多人Whateveryouputouttherecomesbacktoyou.不管你做了什么善有善报恶有恶报Ugh.嗷Whatnow...yougonnathreatentofeedmemynipplesagain?又怎么了...你又要恐吓我要喂我吃自己的乳头吗?No.Actually,someonejustsaidsomethingaboutthethingsyoudocomingbacktoyou,不是啦刚才有人跟我说恶有恶报什么的andIdecidedthesmartmovewastoapologize.所以为了不得恶报我还是来道歉Thanks,butit'snotnecessary.谢谢不过你也用不着道歉Actually,you'rethenicestpe