生活大爆炸 第四季第二集中英文剧本

生活大爆炸第四季第二集在干嘛呢\Whatchadoin'there?研究抓哔哔鸟的新方法吗\Workingonanewplantocatchtheroadrunner?你这个幽默暗指我是大笨狼怀尔吗\ThehumorousimplicationbeingthatIamWileE.Coyote?没错\Yes.而板上画的捕鸟设备\Andthisisaschematicforabird-trappingdevice最终只会适得其反让我受伤吗\thatwillultimatelybackfireandcausemephysicalinjury?没错\Yes.我正在做的\WhatI'mdoinghere是想计算出我的死亡时间\istryingtodeterminewhenI'mgoingtodie.很多人都在做这方面的研究\Alotofpeopleareworkingonthatresearch.那这些是什么\Sowhatisallthis?我家人的寿命长短\Myfamilyhistoryfactoringinlongevity疾病倾向等信息\propensityfordisease,etcetera.有意思\Interesting.卡尔叔叔的死因是KBB\CauseofdeathforUncleCarlwasKBB.KBB是什么\What's"KBB"?被獾所杀\"Killedbybadger."怎么回事\How'sthat?那是感恩节\ItwasThanksgiving.卡尔叔叔说"我觉得有只獾住在咱家烟囱里"\UncleCarlsaid,"Ithinkthere'sabadgerlivinginourchimney.""把手电筒给我"\"Handmethatflashlight."那是他对我们说的最后几句话\Thosewerethelastwordsheeverspoketous.我觉得\Idon'tthinkyouneed你没必要担心被獾所杀会遗传\toworryaboutdeathbybadgersbeinghereditary.不对\Nottrue.战斗或逃跑的本能受基因控制\Thefightorflightinstinctiscodedgenetically.他没选择逃跑反而赤手空拳\Insteadoffleeing,hechosetofightbarehanded跟鼬类动物中强壮的一员战斗\againstabrawnymemberoftheweaselfamily.谁能肯定我没遗传这种有缺陷的基因\Who'stosaythatIdon'tsharethatflawedDNA?你反正可以找只獾来验证的\Youcanalwaysgetabadgerandfindout.说实在的\Butseriously即使我忽略卡尔叔叔这个因素\evenifIdisregardtheUncleCarlfactor我最多也只剩60年寿命\atbestIhave60yearsleft.还有那么长啊\Thatlong,huh?60年我只能活到这里\60onlytakesmetohere.我要活到这里\Ineedtogettohere.那里有什么\What'sthere?据预计奇点最早出现的时间\Theearliestestimateofthesingularity人们能将自己的意识\whenmanwillbeabletotransferhisconsciousness转移进机器而获得永生\intomachinesandachieveimmortality.这么说你不高兴自己会错失\So,you'reupsetaboutmissingout变成某种怪异的有自我意识的机器人的机会\onbecomingsomesortoffreakishself-awarerobot?就差这么一点啊\Bythismuch.真可惜你要吃鸡蛋吗\Toughbreak.Youwanteggs?你不明白莱纳德\Youdon'tgetit,Leonard.我会错过很多东西\I'mgoingtomisssomuch.统一场论冷聚变还有章狗\theunifiedfieldtheory,coldfusion,thedogapus.章狗是什么\What'sadogapus?狗和章鱼的杂交动物\Thehybriddogandoctopus.人类在水下的忠实朋友\Man'sunderwaterbestfriend.有人研究这个吗\Issomebodyworkingonthat?我打算过研究的\Iwasgoingto.我想把它作为我三百岁的生日礼物\Iplannedongivingittomyselfonmy300thbirthday.等等你讨厌狗\Waitaminute.Youhatedogs.章狗玩接球时能接八个球\Adogapuscanplayfetchwitheightballs.没有人能讨厌这个\Noonecanhatethat.我们欠你多少钱\Whatdoweoweyou?一共是28.17美元\Itcameto$28.17.每人就六美元吧\Let'ssaysixbucksapiece.给你\Hereyougo.谢谢\Thankyou.干嘛\What?算了我请了\Nevermind.Igotit.你要我给钱啊\Oh,youwantedmetopay.-不用了-不不不你是对的\-It'snobigdeal.-No,no,no,no.You'reright.我们已经分手了我应该自己付钱\We'renotgoingoutanymore;Ishouldpayformyself.笑什么\What?他说"如果他有女人身子"\Hesaid,"Ifhehadwomanparts"他后半辈子就不愁吃了"\"he'deatforfreetherestofhislife"是啊可你也没办法跟自己说话了\Yeah,butyouwouldn'tbeabletotalktoyourself.我现金有点紧张啊\I'malittlelowoncash.-你有多少-没有\-Howmuchyougot?-Nothing.你不带钱怎么出门啊\Howcanyouwalkaroundwithnomoney?我漂亮别人请客\I'mcute.Igetby.没事欠着吧\It'sokay,youcanoweme.-谢谢-谢尔顿六美元\-Thankyou.-Sheldon,sixbucks.不了谢谢我今晚不吃披萨\No,thankyou.I'mnoteatingpizzatonight.可今天是星期四\Butit'sThursday.星期四是披萨之夜\Thursday'spizzanight.对我来说不是\Notforme.现在改成十字花科蔬菜之夜了\ThursdayisnowCruciferousVegetableNight.今晚的特选小包菜\Tonight'sselection:Brusselssprouts.真的吗\Really?你要改谢尔顿日程表\You'rechangingtheSheldoniancalendar?-这只是个小小的代价-为啥\-It'sasmallpricetopay.-Forwhat?-不别问啊-对不起\-No,no,don'task.-Sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry.为了把我的寿命延长到能把意识\Inordertolivelongenoughtofusemyconsciousness转移到人造大脑上我要改变饮食\withcybernetics,Ineedtochangemydiet.等等人造大脑是机器人之类的吧\Wait.Cyberneticsisrobotstuff,right?没错\Correct.这么说你想把自己变成某种机器人\Soyouwanttoturnyourselfintosomesortofrobot?本质上是这样\Essentially,yes.我想问个问题\Okay,here'smyquestion.你不是已经变成机器人了吗\Didn'tyoualreadydothat?虽然我受宠若惊可惜还没有\Flattering,butsadly,no.我还打算开始一种运动养生法\I'malsoplanningtobeginanexerciseregimen加强我的心血管系统\designedtostrengthenmycardiovascularsystem.也就是慢跑\AKAjogging.等等亲爱的你以前跑过步吗\Wait.Honey,haveyoueverrunbefore?当然跑过\Certainly.我被恶霸狗和暴走的鸡追过\I'verunfrombullies,dogs,angrychickens...还有个锲而不舍执意要给我做\andoneparticularlypersistentP.E.teacher脊柱侧弯测试的体育老师\determinedtobendmeoverandgivemeascoliosistest.你说得对佩妮经常跑步\You'reright.Pennyjogs.你们可以一起跑的\Maybeyouguyscanruntogether.这主意太棒了\That'sanexcellentidea.如果我们边跑边聊\Yeah,ifwechat就会感觉时间流逝得更快了\itwillcreatetheillusionoftimegoingfaster.绝对不可能\No,itwon't.他怎么知道我跑步的\Um,howdoesheknowIjog?因为他在车里用高倍望远镜尾行你\Oh,hewatchesyoufromhiscarwithhigh-poweredbinoculars.我的天呐这太猥琐了\Oh,myGod,thatissocreepy!我就说嘛\Iknow!他说他要坚持发扬下去\Andhesayshe'snotgonnastop.那找心理医生解决怎么和女人说话的问题啊\Thenseeashrinkandfigureouthowtotalktowomen.什么玩意儿\Whatthehell?怎么了\What'sthematter?疼痛以我的肚脐为起点\Ihavepainradiatingfrommynavel延伸到我的右下腹\tomylowerrightabdomen.我感到恶心和发热\I'mnauseatedandfeverish.我觉得我得霍乱了\IbelieveImayhavecholera.帕萨迪纳才没霍乱呢\There'snocholerainPasadena.就跟去年夏天帕萨迪纳也没有疟疾一样\Justlikelastsummer,whentherewasnomalariainPasadena.好吧如果那不是霍乱\Well,ifit'snotcholera根据搜索结果\thenbasedonaquickInternetsearch由相似度递减排列的其他解释分别是\theotherexplanationsindecreasingorderoflikelihood先天性巨结肠肉毒杆菌中毒一条30英尺长的绦虫\areHirschsprung'sDisease,botulism,a30-foottapeworm或者是不小心摄入菊花\oraccidentalingestionofchrysanthemumblossoms.你什么时候会不小心摄入菊花的\Whenwouldyouhaveaccidentallyeatenchrysanthemumblossoms?这是包括了梦游\It'spartofanunlikelyscenario和24小时营业的花店\thatinvolvessleepwalkinganda24-hourflowermart以及不靠谱的经营者的不可能场景\withaless-than-vigilantproprietor.噢老天我的肚子\Oh,Lord,mybelly!你切除过阑尾吗\Everhadyourappendixout?没有\Ihaven't.我想来着但谁有那时间啊\I'vebeenmeaningto,butwhohasthetime?我送你去医院吧\Let'sgetyoutothehospital.于是乎就此了结\Sothisishowitends...真是无比残酷的讽刺\withcruelirony.正当我保证要保护爱惜自己的身体之时\JustasImakethecommitmenttopreservingmybody我被自己的阑尾所背叛就一退化的器官\Iambetrayedbymyappendix,avestigialorgan.你知道阑尾原本的作用是什么吗莱纳德\Doyouknowtheoriginalpurposeoftheappendix,Leonard?不知道\No.我知道而知道太多的却灭亡而你却能继续活下去\Ido.AndyetI'mdoomedwhileyouliveon.结局很出乎意料是不是\Funnyhowthingsworkout,isn'tit?噢天呐我感觉要爆炸了\Oh,Lord,Ithinkit'sabouttoburst!还有种可能\Ontheotherhand也许都是小包菜的错\itmighthavebeentheBrusselssprouts.晚安您呐\Goodnight.晚安\Goodnight.阑尾炎\Appendicitis.自己紧张个甚啊\WhatanervousNelly.佩妮佩妮佩妮\Penny!Penny!Penny!来啦来啦\Coming,coming.嘿跑鞋不错嘛\Hey,niceknees.谢谢\Thankyou.这是我娘的\They'remymother's.闪电侠T恤是什么意思\Oh.AndtheFlashshirtiswhat?你要跑的飞快吗\Because,what,you'regonnarunreallyfast?不是穿闪电侠衫是因为今天是星期五\No,theFlashshirtisbecauseit'sFriday但要是真能有效就更好了\butit'snicewhenthingsworkout.-你的心率监测器在哪儿-没有\-Where'syourheartratemonitor?-Idon'thaveone.-计步器呢-没有\-Whataboutyourpedometer?-Don'thaveone.那你鞋子里有传感器连接到iPod吗\DoyouhavetelematicsinyourshoesconnectedtoaniPod?-没-那你干嘛呢\-Uh,no.-Whatdoyoudo就出去像兔子一样随便蹦蹦跳跳一下吗\Youjustgooutthereandgambolaboutlikeabunny?不也就跑到饿了然后买个熊爪包吃\No.IjustruntillI'mhungry,thenIstopforabearclaw.为什么要这么做\Whyareyoudoingthat?在跑步前最好拉伸下肌肉\It'sgoodtostretchyourmusclesbeforeyourun.好吧\Allright.先来摸个脚趾\Let'sstartwithatoetouch.你来做一个\Okay,youdoit.我正做着呢\I<i>am</i>doingit.哇哦不错\Oh.Wow.Goodjob.你能做这个么\Canyoudothis?我们永远也不会知道的\We'llneverknow.好吧那边跑边热身吧\Okay,let'sjustwarmupontherun.-好的-那出发吧\-Okay.-Okay,let'sgo.我最近一直在读生物力学的书\I'vebeenreadinguponbiomechanics.我认为你会惊讶于我的...\Ithinkyou'llbesurprisedatmy...我的天呐你还好吗\Oh,myGod,areyouokay?应该吧\Ithinkso.-我来拉你一把吧-谢谢\-Oh,letmehelpyouup.-Thankyou.噢谢尔顿\Oh,Sheldon!如果这能让你觉得好些的话\Ifitmakesyoufeelanybetter星期四不再是十字花科蔬菜之夜了\ThursdayisnolongerCruciferousVegetableNight.这是我的咖喱鸡\Here'smychickencurry.霍华德的鲜虾菜饭\Howard,yourshrimpbiryani.-谢谢您-菠菜奶豆腐是佩妮的\-Thankyou,sir.-Palakpaneer,that'sPenny.-谢谢-而拉杰·库萨帕里的\-Thanks.-AndforRajeshKoothrappali家乡发明出这些美味佳肴的人\fromwhosehomelandthesetastydishesoriginate一个大份的麦乐鸡\onelargeorderofchickenMcNuggets.-我的这份多少钱-12刀\-Hey,what'smyshare?-Uh...12bucks.-我能周五付工资以后再还你吗-没问题\-Okay,canIgetyouafterFridaywhenIgetpaid?-Sure.我欠你多少了\WhatamIuptonow?呃算上印度菜比萨\Well,okay,withtheIndianfood,thepizza泰国菜一箱油\theThaifood,thetankofgas冷冻酸奶\thefrozenyogurt外带你的房租嗯...\andyourrent,uh...一千四百多一点吧\alittleover$1,400.又怎么了\Whatnow?他只是表示膜拜\He'sjustexpressinghisadmirationthat你不用献身也能蹭吃蹭喝\youdon'tevenhavetoputouttogetfreestuff.我这不是蹭我会还钱的\It'snotfree--I'mgonnapayhimback.给我停\Shutup!谢尔顿你不来吗\Sheldon,areyougonnajoinus?就来\Coming!你们好伙计们\Greetings,friends.你好你个天知道是什么的鬼东西\Greetings,whateverthehellyouare.我是一个移动虚拟化身设备\Iamamobilevirtualpresencedevice.鉴于近来发生的事\Recentevents我意识到我的肉身太过脆弱\havedemonstratedtomethatmybodyistoofragile承受不了大千世界的种种\toendurethevicissitudesoftheworld.因此在我能够\UntilsuchtimeasIamable转移意识之前\totransfermyconsciousness我的肉身将保存在一个安全地点\Ishallremaininasecurelocation并借此方式同外界联系\andinteractwiththeworldinthismanner.没搞错吧你就想问这个--\Really?That'syourquestion--他啥时搞来的那个斜坡\whendidheputarampin?你占了我的专属座位\You'reinmyspot.可能一开始感觉会有点怪\Thismayseemalittleoddatfirst但时间久了你们就会渐渐习惯\butovertime,you'llgrowaccustomed和这样的我打交道\todealingwithmeinthisconfiguration.是咩说实话我觉得没什么不同\Yeah,tobehonest,Idon'tseemuchdifference.谢谢\Thankyou.这也是我的目的\That'swhatIwasgoingfor.那个莱纳德明天我们去上班时\Now,Leonard,tomorrow,whenwegotowork你得腾出点时间来\you'llneedtoallowsomeextratime把我搬下楼梯\togetmedownthestairs.为了让你省力我会分解成四个部分\Foryourconvenience,Idisassembleintofourpieces.这太荒唐了\Thisisridiculous.我要去找你谈谈\I'mcomingtotalktoyou.你不知道我在哪儿\Youdon'tknowwhereIam.我的肉身现被安置在\Myphysicalbodyissafelyensconced一个安全保密的场所\inasecure,undisclosedlocation.你不就在你卧室里么\You'reinyourbedroom.不我不在\No,I'mnot.我都能听到你说话的声音从卧室传出来\Icanhearyourvoicecomingfromyourbedroom.不你听不到\No,youcan't.你给我等着\Wait.回来\Comeback.站住\Halt.未经授权人员禁止入内\Authorizedpersonnelonly!好吧你们两个变态\So,eitheroneofyouweirdos有谁想买我的内衣么只要一千四百块哦\wanttobuymyunderwear?Only1,400bucks.谢尔顿这太荒唐了\Sheldon,thisisridiculous.我在你后面\I'mbehindyou.和我说话时请看着我\Pleaselookatmewhenyou'retalkingtome.我正看着你呢\Iamlookingatyou.不你没有\No,you'renot.无视床上的那个人\Paynoattentiontothatmaninthebed.你不能以这种方式存在于这世上\Youcannotexistasavirtualpresence.这儿不行工作时就更不行了\Nothereandcertainlynotatwork.我的娘咧\Oh,goodGod.你知不知道我这年纪的人\Atmyage,doyouknow统计数字上最可能怎么死吗\howI'mstatisticallymostlikelytodie?被你室友做掉吗\Atthehandsofyourroommate?死于一场意外\Anaccident.我就准备弄成像是一场意外\That'showI'mgoingtomakeitlook.在我将自己的智慧\UntilIcantransfermyintellect转移到一个更持久的容器内之前\toamoredurablecontainer我的肉身将被安全安置在我的床上\mybodywillremainsafelyensconcedinmybed.随你但别指望我会帮你\Fine,butdon'texpectmyhelp.你必须帮我室友协议里写了\Youhavetohelp--it'sintheroommateagreement.不才没有\No,it'snot.74条C款\Section74.C.两人间若有人成了机器人\Thevariousobligationsanddutiesoftheparties另一人所应尽的各项义务和责任\intheeventoneofthembecomesarobot.让我一头撞死好了\I'llbedamned.这种感觉太赞了\Thisisdelightful.哼哼\Uh-huh.不用担心死于车祸\It'smucheasiertoenjoy这样在上班路中欣赏美景\thepicturesqueroutewetraveltowork就更加怡然自得了\whenyouremovethespecteroffieryvehiculardeath.提醒我下\Refreshmymemory.我干嘛不直接把你塞进后备箱呢\Whydidn'tIjustputyouinthetrunk?因为我先抢了前排座位记得不\BecauseIcalledshotgun.Remember?好吧\Right.你看着压力很大\Youseemtense.这样会不会感到放松\Perhapsthiswillrelaxyou.我不想听音乐谢尔顿\Idon'twanttolistentomusic,Sheldon.好吧\Verywell.真不明白你为什么不喜欢这样\Idon'tunderstandwhyyou'renotenjoyingthis.你和增强功能的我一起在车里\Together,inthiscar,withmyenhancedcapabilities这就好比霹雳游侠嘛\we'relikeKnightRider.\an8\fn方正黑体简体\fs18\b1\bord1\shad1\3c&H2F2F2F&同名电视剧男主角和他的人工智能车那里面的车可不是括约肌吱吱响的废柴\ExceptinKnightRider,thecarisn'tayammeringsphincter.你居然嘲笑括约肌\Youmockthesphincter括约肌可是人体的一组肌肉\butthesphincterisaclassofmuscle没有的话人类没法存活的哦\withoutwhichhumanbeingscouldn'tsurvive.人体内共有超过50种\Thereareover50differentsphincters不同的括约肌\inthehumanbody.你能叫出多少\Howmanycanyouname?我错了这就是一霹雳游侠没说的\Iwaswrong--thisisexactlylikeKnightRider.你大概会对另一个游戏感兴趣\Perhapsyou'dbeinterestedinadifferentgame.没兴趣\No.这张照片是在1911年\Thisisaphotographofthe1911召开的辐射和量子理论索尔瓦会议\SolvayConferenceonthetheoryofradiationandquanta.我PS了几处不该存在的东西\UsingPhotoshop,I'veintroducedafewanachronisms.看看你能不能找出所有24处\Seeifyoucanspotall24.我先给你第一个提示好了\I'llgiveyouthefirstone.居里夫人不该带着电子表\MadameCurieshouldnotbewearingadigitalwatch.你继续吧\Andgo.\an8益智游戏节目《冒险》的主题曲够了拜拜\That'sit.Bye-bye.吓死你\Bazinga.我有更高权限的开关\Ihaveanoverrideswitch.我差点被你害死了\Ialmostdied!而我仍安然无恙地坐在床上\AndI'msafeandsoundinbed.现在再看谁是疯子\Who'scrazynow?我还是会说你\I'mstillgoingtogowithyou.你好霍斯金斯教授\Hello,ProfessorHoskins.很高兴见到你敏迪\Nicetoseeyou,Mindy.早上好[日语]中村博士\And<i>konnichiwa,Dr.Nakamura.</i>很遗憾那帮瑞典佬推翻了你的理论\SorrytheSwedesdisprovedyourtheory.莱纳德我的门\Leonard,mydoor.你的门怎么了\Whataboutit?乖给哥开个门\Bealambandopenitforme.为嘛有啥问题吗\Why?What'stheproblem?你以为你难住我了对吗\Youthinkyouhavemestymied,don'tyou?没有啊我觉得难住你的是门把手\No,Ithinkadoorknobhasyoustymied.哦看啊莱纳德和R2-D-Bag[代指《星战》里的R2-D2机器人]\Oh,look,it'sLeonardandR2-D-Bag.\an8《星战》里R2-D2机器人这里D-bag是douchebag[蠢货]的缩写这笑话是我想出来的我昨晚给你讲的\That'smyjoke.Itolditlastnight.你不能随便剽窃好吧\Youcan'tjustuseit.拉杰乖替哥开下门\Raj,bealambandopenthedoorforme.好的\Oh,sure.他真乖\He'salamb.你不乖\You'renot.我好乖哦\I'malamb.这一切多美好啊\Isn'tthisnice?在享受同伴感情的同时\Thepleasuresoffellowshipandcamaraderie又不必忍受你们污浊呼吸对我皮肤的伤害\withouthavingtotolerateyourgermybreathonmyskin.要我说咱们把他送到塔图因星球上\IsaywejusttakehimtoTatooine把他卖给爪哇人吧[《星战》情节]\andsellhimtosomeJawas.第二次了老兄\That'stwo,dude.写你自己的笑话去\Writeyourownjokes.哎呦欸\Oh,great.嗨我叫佩妮今晚为你们服务\Hi,I'mPenny,I'llbeyourwaitress.你干嘛还要作自我介绍啊\Whyareyouintroducingyourself?不管怎么样我宁愿\I'dratherpeoplenotknow大家都不知道我跟你们之前有任何联系\Ihaveanypriorconnectiontoyouwhatsoever.你能介绍一下今晚有什么特色菜吗\Canyoutellmethespecialsthisevening?谢尔顿我不为你服务\Sheldon,I'mnotwaitingonyou.当然了\Obviously.你还没给我倒水呢\Idon'tevenhavewateryet.因为你不在这里\Becauseyou'renothere.你这是对远程遥控人员的歧视\That'sdiscriminationagainsttheotherwiselocated.我要去找你的领导[也有比你高的意思]\I'mgoingtohavetogooveryourhead.经理经理在吗\Manager...manager.天啊快看那是谁\Oh,Lord,lookwhoitis.那是斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克吗[苹果公司创始人之一]\IsthatSteveWozniak?我猜没错\Ithinkitis.神奇而伟大的沃兹啊\TheGreatandPowerfulWoz.佩妮斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克\Penny,SteveWozniakwas可是苹果电脑公司的创始人之一呢\oneofthecofoundersofAppleComputer.-他和斯蒂夫·乔布斯一起创办了...-没错\-HeandSteveJobsstartedit...-Yeah我知道他是谁我看过《与星共舞》\Iknowwhoheis.Iwatch<i>DancingwiththeStars.</i>\an8斯蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克曾参加过该节目我得去和他聊聊\Imust