读后续写之海上救人-“黄冈杯”一等奖

2019稽阳联考读后续写年份体裁主题细节描写特点年份体裁主题细节描写特点2016.10记叙文Jane和丈夫在野营时吵架走散并迷路侧重心理描写2017.6记叙文Mac和朋友骑行途中偶遇恶狼侧重动作描写2017.7记叙文“我”与健忘母亲的旅行趣事侧重人物性格描写2018.6记叙文“我”与父亲去西部荒野度假时骑马迷路侧重环境描写indirectcharacterization(间接人物塑造)To

reveal

a

character’s

traitsbydescribinghisorherappearance,thoughts,words,actions,andothercharacters’commentsonhimorher.Readforplot把握故事情节Readforcharacters寻找人物性格Readfordevelopment推测故事发展Howtoreadanarrativestory?AstoryEvent

(what)Time(when)Place(where)Characters

(who)Readforplot(把握故事情节)Plot(how)阅读下面短文根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成个完整的故事Afterstudyforhours.Iwentoutsideanduptotheroofnearbyforabreakandwatchedpeopleswimminginthesea.Itwasasunnyday-ablue,cloudlessskyoveracalmsea.Butthen,asIlookedinthedistance,Idiscoveredaseriesofthreeorfourbigwavesheadingtowardstheshore.I'dseenthesemini-tsunamis(小型海啸)manytimesbefore.Theywereheadingatspeedinthedirectionoftheswimmingarea.Mostpeopleknewtolookoutforthem,butfromthescreamsthatstartedcomingfromthebeach,Icouldtellsomeonewasintrouble.

Withoutthinking,Irandownintothestreet,holdingmybodyboard(冲浪板)onthewayand

shoutedatastrangertocallthecoastguard(海岸整卫)MyneighborTomhadheardthescreamingaswellandwasalsooutsidewithhisbodyboard,sotogetherwerushedtothestepsthatleddowntothesea

Oncewegotcloser,wediscoveredthewaveshadpulledaboyandagirlintotheopensea.Iknowthatthenearestboatwouldtakeatleast30minutestoreachus.Iwasn'tusedtothissortofemergency--I'dneverbeentrainedasalifeguard--butIdidn'tthinktwiceabouttryingtosavethem.IsupposeinawayIwantedtoimpresseveryone;at19,adeallikethatcanseemlikeagoodopportunitytoshowoffTomandIdivedintothewaterandittookus10minutestogettothem.Whenwefinallyreachedthem,theywerealmostlifelesswithonlytheirheadscominginandoutofthewater.Wecouldtelltheywerestillalivefromtheirsmallbreathsbutitwascleartheywouldn'thavebeenabletostaytheremuchlonger.Iheldtheboyandpulledhimovermyboard.Tomthenmovedthegirlontohisboard.Readforplottimeplacecharactersthemeplota.Wepulledkidsontoourboards.b.Ishoutedatastrangertocallthecoastguard.c.Thekidswerealmostlifeless.d.Aboyandagirlwerepulledintothesea.e.IdivedintotheseawithTomtosavethekids.f.Inotedmini-tsunamisheadingtowardstheshore.g.Iwentoutforabreakafterhoursofstudy.onasunnydayattheseasideaboyandagirl;I;Tom;coastguardsavingtwokidsgfdbecaReadforcharacters...Withoutthinking,Irandownintothestreet,holdingmybodyboard

onthewayandshoutedatastrangertocallthe

coastguard....Generally,abodyboardis1.5to2.7minlengthanditweighsabout11to25kg.tool

help

indirectcharacterizationcharactertraits:thoughtful/considerate...settingincitingincidentClimaxResolutionDenouementA______________skyovera_____seabluecloudlesscalmMin-tsunamis______towardstheshore.______startedfrombeachheadedScreamswe____tothesteps,leddowntotheseaReadfordevelopment

rushedWereachedtheboyandgirlbut___________fromthelandtoofaraway

划线词分类人物类事物类动作类距离时间

划线词分类人物类aboyandagirl;Tom事物类waves;boat;opportunity;bodyboard动作类swimming;save距离inthedistance时间longerReadfordevelopmentPara.1Wediscussedpushingthembacktotheshore,butweweretoofarout.Para2.Thatnight,wordcamefromthehospitalthatthetwokidswereingoodcondition.Theproblemswemet:Thehelpwegot:tiredness/fiercewaves/dyingkids...thecoastguard...Thegratefulnesswereceived:ThelessonIlearnt:fromthetwokids'parents/themedia...Onesimpleactofkindnesscanreallymakeadifference.Wherethereiskindness,thereisamiracle.Onegoodturndeservesanother....ReadfordevelopmentHowtocontinueanarrativestory?Mindyourhandwriting注意书写Mindyourlanguage注意语言Mindyourtheme注意主题MeaningfulColourfulBeautifulindirectcharacterization自然环境描写——描写波涛汹涌Thecoastlinewashiddenbehindthe_________waves(汹涌澎湃的浪涛)withalmostnoonetobeseen.roaring2.AsIfloatedon,______________(一个巨浪)_________(呼啸而来)andapproachedus.ahugewavewhistled3.Thebigwind____________________(在耳边咆哮),andwewerepushedawayfromtheshorefartherandfarther.roaredthroughourears4.Allmysensestoldmethatabigwave________________.(即将来临)wasabouttocome5.A_______________(看似猛烈的)wavewas________________.

(靠近我们)powerful-lookingcomingtowardsus6.Thefiercewaves_________________________(没有消退的迹象).showednosignofdyingdown7.Theseawas_________(汹涌的；风浪大的)thatdayanditwasdifficultto________(控制)thebodyboard.roughhandle自然环境描写——描写波涛汹涌人文环境描写——描写声音传来4.Atthatmoment,ashrillwhistle(汽笛声)______________

(划破天空).1.Adistantsound_________________________.(传入耳朵)reachedourears2.Asoft,reedy(似笛声的)sound___________________________.

(漂浮在海上)floatedacrossthesea3.Thesoundoftheboat_______________________.(在我们耳内回响)echoedinourearsrippedtheair5.Whenwewereatalossofwhattodo,therewererasping(刺耳的)

shouts(喊叫声)____________________

(从远处升起).risingfromthedistance6.Aship's

____________________

(喇叭声响起).hornsounded人物描写——描写疲倦5.CastingalookatTom,Icouldtellhewasalso_____________________________(明显地精疲力尽了).1.Drowninthesea,I______________(失去了平衡)butseizedthebodyboardtightly.lostmybalance2.Timepassingus,tiredness_______________(包围了)uswithmyfeet__________(僵硬/麻木)andshivering.engulfedstiff/numb3.___________________(尽管很累),wedidn’tstop.Grittingoutteeth,wekeptswimming.

Exhaustedaswewere4.Afterwhatseemedacentury,Ifelt_________________(非常累)

whileswimminghardtokeepmyselfafloat(漂浮着的).

/fəˈtiːgd/extremelyfatigued

apparentlyworn-out——描写害怕1.Itookadeepbreathand_____________(害怕地咽了口吐沫).2.Watchingtheshoreinthedistance,Ifelt_________(无力的)

asifwewerebrokentinyboatsatthemercyofstrongwave.(simile)swallowedhardpowerless3.Exhaustedandcold,thethoughtthatwemightdiehereflashedacrossmymind,whichmademe_____________________________

_______________________(难以控制地发抖).quiverwithanuncontrollableterror/horror/fright4.Lookingatthevastsea,Ifeltasenseoffear______________________________.(在身体涌动)

surgingthroughmywholebody5.Astimetickedby,fear___________________(爬上我心头)

andIcouldhardlytellhowlongIcould_________(前行).creptuponmyheart(creep)ploughon人物描写人物描写6.Thethoughtofhopelessness_________________________(让我后脊背发凉).——描写害怕sentshiversdownmyspine7.Iwas_________________________(被恐惧感淹没).floodedwithasenseofhorror8.Seeingthis,Ifeltmyfear________________(剧增)inside.growing/increasing9.Ifelt________________(一阵焦虑)_________________(袭来).awaveofanxietysweptovermybodysweep——描写挣扎努力1.Tomlooked____________(若有所思)人物描写thoughtful2.“Weneedtothinkoutaway!”Imuttered(喃喃自语),____________________(绞尽脑汁)scratchingmyhead3....,Weswam____________(全力以赴地).toothandnail4.We__________________(不遗余力地)toswimtowardstheshore.sparednoeffortto5.We_________________________(互换了坚定的神情),then

ploughedon(继续前行)

__________________(难以置信的速度).exchangedadeterminedlookatanincrediblespeed人物描写——描写如释重负1.Ensuringtheirsafety,I__________________.(感到一阵胜利的喜悦)feltasurgeoftriumph2.Hearingthecomfortingnews,I___________________________________________.(情难自抑)couldn'thelprestrainingmyexcitement3._______________(听到...很高兴)tohearthegoodnews.Itthrilledus4.Onhearingthegoodnews,TomandI_________________(如释重负地叹了口气),grinningmerrilyateachother.sighedingreatrelief5.____________(如释重负地微笑),I_________________(感到一阵自豪).Smilinginrelieffeltarushofpride6._____________(狂喜)toseeaboatcomingtoourrescue,TomandI____________________.(如释重负地松了口气)OverjoyedbreathedasighofreliefindirectcharacterizationA19-year-oldstudentnaturalsettingculturalsettingcharacter'sfeelings/words/actions/monologues...Aherocharactertraits:thoughtful/brave/courageous/considerate...

Onepossibleversion:

Wediscussedpushingthembacktotheshore,butweweretoofarout.

Wehadtowait,tryingtokeepthemonthebodyboards.Pattingtheirfacestowakethemup,wecontinuouslytoldthemtobestrong.Afterwhatseemedacentury,Ifeltextremelyexhaustedwhileswimminghardtokeepm