别让焦虑成为你追逐梦想的绊脚石

别让焦虑成为你追逐梦想的绊脚石别让焦虑成为你追赶幻想的绊脚石

Doesanxietyleadyoutohesitateandsecond-guessyourself?Whenyouthinkofstartinganewprojectorgoingintoagroupsituationwithpeopleyoudontknow,doyoufeelbutterfliesinyourstomachorasenseofdread?Doyoueupwithlotsofreasonsnottodoapotentiallyfunorprofitableactivitythathassomedegreeofrisk,likejoiningahikingcluborvolunteerorganizationpostingyourdatingprofileonline,gettingfit,startingablog,orturningyourhobbyintoasmallbusiness?Doyoudotonsofresearchbutnottakethenextsteptoturnyourideasintoaction?Ifthisisyou,anxietyandexcessivecautionmaybegettinginyourwayandstoppingyoufromgoingafteryourdreamsandlivingamoremeaningfulandfulfillinglife.Avoidancefeedsonitselfandmakesyoulessconfident,whilegettingstartedandtakingactioncreatesapositivecyclethatnaturallyhelpsyouranxietygodown.Butwheredoyoubegin?Thestrategiesbelowprovidearoadmapformovingforwardandtakingthefirststeptowardsthelifeyoulongfor!

你有没有过由于焦虑而优柔寡断、自我怀疑？开头一个新项目，或是想融入一个新的群体，心里会不会七上八下、忐忑担心甚至有些恐惊？参与徒步旅行俱乐部、或是加入自愿组织在网上晒自己的约会档案、减肥、写博客、把自己的的爱好做成事业......这些事情看上去既好玩又有意义，你心生憧憬跃跃欲试，但最终是不是还是为自己编了一堆理由放弃，只由于其中可能存在的风险？是不是做了很多讨论但就是没法做出行动把想法变成现实？假如这是你，那么焦虑和过度谨慎可能已经阻碍你追赶幻想、过上有意义且充实的生活。躲避只会恶性循环让你更加不自信，而开头行动则会建立正向回路让你自然而然削减焦虑。那么怎么开头呢？以下的策略供应了一条向前进的路，为你开启追求抱负生活的第一步！

DontWaitforYourAnxietytoGoDown

不要坐等焦虑减轻！

Youranxietyislikelywiredinaspartofyourtemperamentandwontjustgodownonitsown.Ourhumanbrainsarehard-wirednottolikeuncertainty,unpredictabilityandchangeandsomeofusarejustanxiety-pronebynature.However,whenyoutakeactiontowardsyourgoalsdespitetheanxietyandyouactuallysurvivetheexperience,yourbrainbeginstolabeluncertaintyaslessdangerous.Overtime,youbuildasenseofself-efficacy-youbegintoseeyourselfassomeonewhocantakeactionandbesuccessfulevenwhenyourefeelinganxious.

焦虑植根于我们的天性之中，它不会自己减轻。人类的大脑生来就憎恶不确定性、不行估计性和变化，只是有些人天生焦虑易感性更高。然而当你顶着焦虑实行行动朝着目标迈进时，大脑会重新评估，并告知你其实不确定性也没有那么危急，这就是胜利的第一步。随着时间的推移，渐渐地你会建立一种自我效能感，即使感到焦虑，你也会认为自己有行动力量并且能够通过行动获得胜利。

SetaRealisticGoalThatMakesSenseforYou

设立适合自己的、符合实际的目标！

Weallhavedifferentpersonalities,temperaments.andpreferences.Wedontallwanttobelawyers,havehundredsoffriends,runmarathons,besuper-skinnyandliveinamansion.Anxietymakesyouseeyourselfaslesstalented,lovableorpetentthanothers.Whenyouthinkofmovingforward,ifyoudontreallyknowyourself,youmaysetagoaltobelikeyourfriendorneighbor-todowhatissociallyacceptableorwhatothersexpectofyou.Itsveryhardtoremainmittedandfollowthroughondifficultlong-termgoals,especiallyifyourenotreallypassionateabouttheactivity.Ratherthanthinkingaboutwhatyoushould”bedoing,takealookinsideandaskyourselfwhatyoureallywant.Perhapsyouareacreativeperson,orwanttotravel,havelifebalance,livehealthier,orfindacaringpartner.Whateveritisyouwant,figureoutwhatistheeasiestthingyoucandotogetstarted.Phraseyourgoalspecifically“e.g.,walkfor20minutesthreetimesnextweek.”Youcantclimbamountainallatonceandyouremorelikelytoachieveyourgoalwithintrinsic(ingfromtheinside)motivationthanwhenyourejusttryingtopleaseothers.

我们都有不同的性格、脾气和喜好。并不是每个人都想成为律师、伴侣成群、跑马拉松、瘦成闪电或者坐拥豪宅。焦虑让你觉得自己没有别人有天分、有竞争力，甚至不像别人一样值得被爱。假如你不了解真正的自己，在设立目标时，你很有可能会仿照你的伴侣甚至邻居，去做一些社会认可的事情或是满意他人的期望。这种状况下设立的目标很难成为长期坚持的目标，尤其是那些你并非真正喜爱的事情。与其总是想你“应当”做什么，不如换个角度想想你真正想要什么，说不定你是个有制造力的人，或是想要生活工作平衡、想去旅行、活得更健康，又或者你只是想找个可心的人儿。不管你想要什么，想清晰，然后找到最简单的入手的事情行动起来。把目标用详细的可量化的方式表达，比如：“下周漫步     三次，每次20分钟。”切记，不要想一步登天，一口吃成个胖子，另外达成目标最好是内部动机驱动，而不是为了取悦他人。

TrusttheProcess

相信过程！

AsMartinLutherKingJuniorsaid“Faithistakingthefirststepevenwhenyoucantseethewholestaircase.”Evenifyoudonthavefaithtobeginwith,faithwilleifyoujusttakethatfirststep.Themoreyoutakeaction,themorelikelyyouaretohavesomesuccessesandbegintotrustyourself,theprocess,ortheuniverse.IoftenstartwritingablogpostnotknowingexactlywhatImgoingtowrite.IvelearnedthatifIhaveagenuineintentiontohelpmyreadersandamessagetoshare,thenthecontentwillemerge.Asmanywriterswilltellyou,ifyoujuststartwriting,theideaswillformandyour“creativemasterpiece”willtakeshapeovertimeasanxietydiminishesandyoureleftwithyourstorytotelloryourgenuinepassionfortheideasyouwanttoexpress.Thesameappliestootheraspectsoflifelikestartinganewjob,project,relationship,orbusinessventure.

马丁路德金说过:信念，就是即使看不到长阶通向何方，却仍情愿迈出第一步。”即使一开头没有,但只要你迈出了第一步,信念就会随之而来.做得越多,胜利的可能性就越高,渐渐地你会相信自己,相信过程,相信世界。我的博客经常开头于我完全不知道要写些什么的时候。我知道只要我有东西要共享,并真心诚意的想关心读者,内容自然而然就会消失.许多作家都会告知你,刚开头写作的时候，随着焦虑渐渐削减，到最终只剩下故事和传递想法的纯真热忱，这个时候你的想法和制造性地作品自然而然就出来了。这个道理同样适用于生活的其他方面，比如开头一份新工作、新项目、新恋情或是新的投资项目。

CurbtheCatastrophizing

不要小题大做

Anxiouspeopletendtofocusonwhatcouldgowrongandonhowbaditwouldbeifyoutookariskandgotanegativeoute.Whatifyouwentonadateandthepersonturnedouttobeajerkortheynevercalledyouback?Whatifyouinvestedabitofmoneytostartabusinessanditdidntworkout,orifyouappliedforajobanddidntgetit?Whatifyouchangedjobsbecauseyouweremiserableandfoundyourselfinaworsesituation?Whileyouwouldntwanttheseoutes,howbadaretheyreally?Aretheyasbadasgettingcancerorafamilymemberdying?Imguessingtheansweris“No”!Couldyousurvivethem?Doyouhavecopingskillsyoucoulduseorcouldyoutryagainortakeadifferentapproachthenexttime?Illbetyoucould!Anxietymakesyouoverestimatetherisksoftakingaction,butwhataretherisksofstayingstuckinabadsituation?Wontyouregretnoteventryingtogoafteryourdreams?

面对风险，焦虑的人习惯性地关注坏的结果，而面对负性结果时，他们也更倾向关注这个结果究竟会坏到什么程度。他们会想，去约会假如遇到奇葩怎么办？万一我看对了眼别人会不会再联络我？投资创业失败了怎么办？换工作投简历没有反馈怎么办？不换工作当前的状态又让自己苦痛不堪怎么办？这些结果都不是我们想要的，但是他们究竟有多糟呢？比罹患癌症更糟糕？还是比家人离世更糟糕？我相信答案肯定是“不！”那么你能挺过去吗？你有应对的策略吗？或者等下次换个方式再试试？我相信你可以的！焦虑让你过度高估了实行行动的风险，但是不是也该考虑考虑始终处在糟糕状况下的风险呢？时过境迁，回想当年，你是否会圆满面对幻想，你竟然试都没试就放弃了？

BeYourOwnCheerleader,NotYourOwnCritic

做自己的拉拉队长，而不是自我批判家！

Goingafteryourdreamsistoughandyouwillfaceinevitableobstaclesandfailuresalongtheway.Butyoudontneedtomakethesebarriersworsebybeatinguponyourselfeverytimeyoudosomethingthatdoesntturnoutperfectly.Manyoflifesimportantouteshaveanelementofluckoruncertainty.Wecancontrolwhatwedo,butwecantcontrolmarketforcesorwhatotherpeopledecide.Youmayspeakupforyourselfandgetcriticismandpushback,butthatdoesntnecessarilymeanyouvedonesomethingwrong.Ourbrainsnaturallygotothenegativebecausetheyareprotection-focused,ratherthanpromotion-focused.Tooverethisbias,youneedtodeliberatelyfocusonthepositivesinthesituation.Honoryourselffortakingarisk,leaningintoyourdisfort,orjustshowingupwhenyouwantedtocurluponthecouchathome!Youcantcontroltheoutes,sopraiseyourselfforputtingintheeffortandyoullcontinuetostaymotivated!

追赶幻想是困难的，沿途要面对很多不行避开的阻碍和失败。有些事情结果可能不那么完