读后续写高频失分点12讲义2023届高考英语作文备考

新高考-新题型高频易错点易错类型读后续写读后续写是一种将阅读和写作紧密结合的题型。阅读部分通常为一篇300多词的材料，题目要求考生依据材料内容和所给段落开头语进行续写（150词左右），将材料扩80展成一篇逻辑连贯、情节和结构完整的短文。读后续写的话题多来源于真实生活，一般涉及人际关系、个人经历、意外事件等。选材以记叙文和夹叙夹议文为主，有一定的趣味性和浓厚的生活气息。读后续写这一题型体现了《中国高考评价体系》中“基础性、应用性、综合性和创新性”的考查原则，既能考查考生的语言运用能力，又能考查考生的逻辑思维和创新思维能力。优秀的续写段落应具有以下特征：——内容丰富、合理，且富有逻辑性；续写段落与材料情境融洽度高。——词汇和语法结构多样且使用恰当，表达流畅，语言错误少且完全不影响读者理解。——段落间及句间的衔接自然有效，续写段落结构清晰、前后呼应、意义连贯。考生在实际写作中往往会出现续写内容与原材料融洽度不高、情节设计不合理、描写不够生动等问题。失分点1融洽丢失，文脉走偏调研阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。Algebrawasmylastclassoftheday.Aftertheclass,Mrs.Sharpnackaskedmetostaytodiscussmymidtermexam,whichIhadfailed.AlthoughIdidwellinmanyothersubjects,!wouldn'tbeonthehonorroll（光荣榜）thattermifIcouldn'tsoonmakebigprogressinalgebra.Injustafewweeks,thehonorrollwouldbereadduringtheclass.Iwassosad.Seeingmysadness^Mrs.Sharpnacksaid/'Doyouwantmetosparesometimetohelpwithyouralgebra?Ithinkyoucanmakebigandquickprogress.*'ButIjustwantedtogohomeandneverthinkaboutalgebraagain."No,thanks,"Isaid.AndIexplained,"Unlikeotherstudentsintheclass,!amjustnotgoodatthiskindofmath.Andnoamountofstudyingwillchangethat.”IalmostcriedwhenItalkedaboutit.Mrs.Sharpnackcomfortedme,saying,"Ifweworktogether,!believeyoucanchangeit."Foramoment,Iwonderedifshewouldberight."Whattimedoesyourbuscome?*'sheasked.Ihad30minutesleftbeforemybuscame,andItoldherso.SheaskedifIwouldliketousethattimetogooverthemathproblemsIhadmet.Encouragedbyher,Ianswered/'lguessso."Westartedrightthenandmadeaplantomeeteachdayfortwoweeks.AfterMrsSharpnackhelpedmegooverafewproblemsthatday,itwastimeformybustocome.Iwavedhergoodbye.Inthefollowingdays,IcontinuedstayingwithMrs.Sharpnackafterclass.Shewentovereachproblem,carefullyexplainingthesolutions.SometimesIstillcouldn'tunderstandwhatshehadsaid.Shestayedcalm,though,andwouldthinkofadifferentwaytoexplaintheanswer.Thedaytotakethetestcamequickly.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式作答。Mrs.Sharpnackhandedouttestpapers.Thenextmorning,Mrs.Sharpnackcameinwiththegradedpapers.名师指导 习作Mrs.Sharpnackhandedouttestpapers.Withmypaperinhand,nervousnessfilledmyheartandmymindwentwhollyblanksothatIcouldn'tthinkofanythingaboutwhatIhadlearned.Itried

tokeepcalmandfindthesolutiontoeachquestion.NotuntilthebellrangindicatingtheendofthetestdidIfinishthelastquestion.IwasdisappointedthatIhadnotimetogoovermyanswers.Thenextmorning,Mrs.Sharpnackcameinwiththegradedpapers.Iknewwhatwouldhappenthenextmoment.AsIhadexpected,Mrs.Sharpnackstoodinfrontoftheclassandbegantoreadthenamesandscores.Thosewhohadpassedtheexamtookonahappyexpression.WhenMrs.Sharpnackreadoutmyname,shesaidapologeticallythatIhadn'tpassedthetest.Myheartsankandmyfacebecameflushedoutofembarrassment.Ifeltmywholeworldcametoanend.点评这篇习作语言运用比较灵活，但得分会比较低。原因就在于该习作在故事情节和语言风格两方面都与原文不一致。故事情节方面：老师主动提出给作者辅导代数，虽然开始时作者拒绝了，可之后又接受了老师的好意，并且也努力学习了。按照读后续写故事正向发展的逻辑，作者最终应该是通过了考试。在续写时可描写考试中作者遇到了一些挫折，但最终战胜了困难，通过了考试。语言风格方面:原材料采用了直接引语和间接引语相结合的叙述方法，同时长短句结合使用。续写段落中没有使用直接引语，句子大多长而复杂。读后续写题材料以记叙文和夹叙夹议文为主，故事情节有起伏。读后续写题考查的是考生由读到写的过程中思维的转换能力，只有先对所给的材料进行阅读和梳理，才能把握续写的方向。针对习作中的问题，考生在做题时可以遵循以下三个提分步骤：提分步骤①阅读原材料，厘清故事六要素whoMrs.SharpnackwhoMrs.Sharpnack（作者的代数老师）和作者where教室when考试前的一段时间whatMrs.Sharpnack主动提出给作者补习代数why作者的代数成绩不好，若成绩不能提高，作者就不能进入光荣榜，作者十分伤心how故事如何发展正是考生要续写的内容由文章脉络可知，续写第一段时可以描写作者拿到试卷后的感受及反应。续写第二段时可以写作者最终得知自己通过了考试以及作者的感受。提分步骤③根据首句，构思续写情节续写第一段：首句点明Mrs.Sharpnack分发试卷，接下来可按照如此顺序描写：作者拿到试卷后的反应（作者代数不好，拿到试卷自然会紧张）一作者面对困难时的感受（作者刚想放弃，就想到了老师的帮助和之前自己所付出的努力）一作者的行动（作者努力答完试卷后将之交给老师）。续写第二段：首句点明第二天上午Mrs.Sharpnack带着批改好的试卷走进教室，接下来可以描写老师走进教室后做了什么。原材料首段中提到“Injustafewweeks,thehonorrollwouldbereadduringtheclass",续写时可设计具体情节与此相呼应老师念光荣榜时读到了作者的名字，注意描写老师的表情和作者的情绪（老师欣慰，作者开心、骄傲）。最后可写一下作者的感受（由于老师的帮助，作者的成绩和自信心都有所增长）。易错快攻续写时，为了使续写段落与原材料在情节上高度一致，避免文脉走偏，考生要注意遵守下面的三个原则：.情节、语言风格一致原则：续写段落与原材料衔接自然、上下连贯，在故事情节上具有一致性；语言风格也要保持一致。.曲折性原则：故事情节要有起伏，体现曲折性，即故事的主人公一定会遇到困难或问题，但最终一般都能够克服困难或解决问题。.正能量原则：故事的结局要富有正能量，弘扬社会主义核心价值观。满分范文Mrs.Sharpnackhandedouttestpapers.WhenIgotit,Icouldn'thelpfeelingnervous.Lookingatthetestpaper（看着试卷），Ifoundthequestionswerehardandwantedtogiveup.Butthen,!rememberedhowhardIhadworkedandhowmuchMrs.Sharpnackhadhelpedme.SoIkeptcalmandfocusedallmyattentionon（集中所有注意力于）thequestions.Twohourslater,!finishedthepaperandhandedittoMrs.Sharpnack.Thenextmorning,Mrs.Sharpnackcameinwiththegradedpapers.Shestoodinfrontoftheclassandbeganreadingnamesonthehonorroll.Thenshelookedatmehappily,saying/'Mike,congratulations!"Withsurpriseandhappiness,Ifelttearswelledup（涌出）inmyeyes.Thingsweredifferentafterthat.Ishowedaninterestinalgebraandgraduallybecamequitegoodatit.IwassothankfultoMrs.Sharpnack,whoimprovednotonlymystudybutalsomyconfidence.失分点2情节设计怪诞，不合常理调研阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。Lesleyboughtacomputerforthewholefamilytouseayearago,neverthinkingthatitwouldleadtohereleven-year-oldsonGlenbecomingaddictedtoplayingcomputergames.Glenwasplayingcomputergamesforincreasingamountsoftimeandgraduallyhehardlylefthisseat.Lesleytriedtorestricthisgametime,butthisonlyseemedtofuelhisaddictionfurther.Amonghisgamestherewasoneheespeciallyliked.Inithewoulddesignhisownworldashewantedittobe.Althoughdesperate,Lesleynevergaveuponfindingawaytohelptheteenstrugglingwiththisgamingaddiction.ShedecidedtotakeGlenonatriptohisgrandfather's;heownedabigfarm.Glenwasunwillingtoleavehisgame,butheknewitwasnotagoodideatogoagainsthisparents.Theyreachedtheairportinthelateafternoon.Hisgrandparentsdrovethemuptotheirfarm.Theywereallpackedinthecar,withadultschattingandlaughing,butGlenfeltlonely.Lookingoutofthewindow,hewasattractedbytheamazingscenery.Thewaterwasblueandthesunlightglitteredonitsclearsurfaceandthemeadowflowedlikeaseaofgreen.Hecouldn'thelpthinkingoftheworldhecoulddesigninhiscomputergame.Aftersettlingdown,Glenshuthimselfinhisroom.Exceptduringdinnertime,herefusedtocomeoutofhisroomandremainedtherenearlyallday.Sometimes,hestoodbythewindow,staringatthepeacefulgardenhisgrandparentsbuilt.Onenight,dropsofwaterfromtheceiling,drippingonhisface,madehimwakeup.Seeingtheroomwasdark,hesensedsomethingterrible.Hedashedtothewindow.Shockedatwhathesaw,herealizedabigrainstormhadjustended.Hestoodwithhisnosepressedagainsttheglass,spottinghisfamilystrugglingtoclearthemessinthedimlight.Thinkingoftheeffortshisgrandparentshadmadeinthegarden,Glenknewwhathemustdoandwentoutofhisroomimmediately.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右。2,请按如下格式作答。Hecameovertothem. Atthatmoment,herealizedtherewassomethingmoremeaningfulinlife.名师指导习作Hecameovertothem.SeeingGlencomingtohelp,alltheadultsweremovedaswellasdelighted.Glenvoluntarilytookupthetaskofclearingthewholegardenwhiletheothersdidtherepairwork.First,hebegantopickuptherubbishandputitintothedustbinzandthenhetriedtoputuprighttheplantsthathadbeenwasheddownbytherainstorm.Next,hehadagoodcleaningwithabiggroom.Finally,thewholegardencamebacktolifeagainwithvariousflowersinbrightbloom.Atthatmoment,herealizedtherewassomethingmoremeaningfulinlife.Glenbegantoreflectuponhispast.Hefeltashamedtomakehismomworriedabouthisadditiontocomputergames.Hedecidedtostartameaningfullife.Glenplannedtoputhiswholeheartintohisstudy.Itwasanunforgettableexperienceforhim.点评这篇习作在语言运用方面比较优秀，但在情节设计上存在问题，这拉低了它得分的档次w第一段:段中提到的Glen在暴风雨过后所做的事情不是一个小孩自己能够做得到的。"Finally,thewholegardencamebacktolifeagainwithvariousflowersinbrightbloom”显然也彳:符合逻辑，句中所描绘的景象不该出现在暴风雨后。第二段：内容缺少具体、合理的故事情节，且续写内容与所给提示语脱节。续写提示语虽然多多少少暗示了故事情节的走向，但是大部分的续写细节需要考生发挥想象，进行设计。续写内容要具体、细致，情节要符合逻辑、常识。这些无疑对考生在情节设计方面的能力提出了很高的要求。得分要素①注意背景信息的一致性原材料在叙述事件的过程中都会提供一定的背景信息，时间、地点、天气、人物关系等。在进行续写时注意构思的情节要与这些背景信息相符。如：（2020浙江高考）…AsElliandIcookeddinner,ayoungmalepolarbearwhowasplayinginanearbylakesniffed,andsmelledourgarlicbread.Thehungrybearfollowedhisnosetoourcamp,whichwassurroundedbyahighwirefence.Hepulledandbitthewire.Hestoodonhisbacklegsandpushedatthewoodenfenceposts.••••ElliandIfearedthefencewouldn'tlastthrough30moreminutesofthebear'spunishment.ThecampmanagersuggestedIusepepperspray.Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem.SoIapproachedouruninvitedguestslowlyand,throughthefence,sprayedhimintheface.Withanangryroar（叼1口,）,thebearrantothelaketowashhiseyes.习作Atthatverymoment,thehelicopterarrived.Wehurriedintoitandaswesatinsidethehelicopterwitharelief,wesawthebearattackedeverywherebecauseofitsblindnesscausedbythepepperspray.与原材料交代的,'Thesprayburnsthebears'eyes,butdoesn'thurtthem”不符得分要素②构思符合常识续写时设计的所有情节都要符合常识，包括自然科学常识、历史常识、生活常识、人文常识等。这样才能让续写内容具有较高的可信度。以调研所给题目对应的学生习作为例，其中的"Finally,thewholegardencamebacktolifeagainwithvariousflowersinbrightbloom"显然不符合自然科学常识和生活常识，句中所描述的景象不会出现在暴风雨之后。而且第一段中描述的Glen独自完成暴风雨后花园的清理工作也不符合常识。再如：（2020新高考I卷）…Onemorningshetoldherchildrenaboutafamilyshehadvisitedthedaybefore.Therewasamansickinbed,hiswife,whotookcareofhimandcouldnotgoouttowork,andtheirlittleboy.ThelittleboyhisnamewasBernard——hadinterestedherverymuch."Iwishyoucouldseehim,"shesaidtoherownchildren,John,Harry,andClara."Heissuch