图表类书面表达习作点评与指导

本文格式为Word版，下载可任意编辑——图表类书面表达习作点评与指导类书习作图表表达

书面表达题：假设你是某高中学生会主席李华，最近你校学生会就刚刚过去的寒假生活对高三学生举行了调查，现在请你根据下面的图表给校长写封信反映调查的处境，并谈谈你的建议（至少两点）。

寒假过得怎么样（每百人所占比例）认为不喜悦的学生寒假中每天时间的大体调配

要求：1.围绕图表所给要点举行陈述，适当发挥，不要简朴翻译；

2.词数150左右（信的格式和开头句已经写好，不计入总词数）；

3.作文中不得提及考生所在学校和本人姓名。

Dearheadmaster,

Recentlyourstudents’unionhashadasurveyonwhathighschoolseniorsthinkofthepastwinterholiday.

Yourssincerely,

LiHua

Recentlyourstudents’unionhashadasurveyonwhathighschoolseniorsthinkofthepastwinterholiday.

①Fromthepicturewecanseethat20%ofstudentsthinktheyfeelhappyduringthewinterholiday.②And30%studentsholdanordinaryattitudetowardsit.③However,muchtooursurprise,thereststudentscomplainthattheyarenotsatisfiedwiththeirwinterholidaylifeatall.

④Thereasonsareasfollow:⑤Ontheonehand,theyspenthalfofthetimeeverydayondoingtheirhomework.⑥Thentheyusedtheirtimetostudysubjectswhichtheyarenotgoodat.⑦Ontheotherhand,theyhadtospendsometimerecitingEnglishwords.⑧Finally,theyhavealittletimetotakepartinphysicalactivities.

⑨FromwhereIstand,it’snecessaryforustolearntohowtoarrangetimebetweenstudyandphysicalactivities.⑩AtthesametimeIsuggestyoushouldtakemeasurestoreducestudents’loadandforceourteachersnottogiveussomuchhomeworktododuringtheholiday.

Yourssincerely,

LiHua

全文共10句158字，达成了题目所规定的要求。要点表达齐全，较好地给收信人传递了根本正确的信息，达成了与他人举行书面交流的目的。

习作的亮点：

1.习作留神了简朴句和复合句的交替使用。本文使用了六个复合句和四个简朴句，巩固了可读性；

2.习作留神了过渡词、过渡句的使用。如在表达学生为什么感到寒假不喜悦的理由时用了：Thereasonsareasfollows，Ontheonehand，Then，Ontheotherhand和Finally。这样的运用使得文章表达连贯；

3.习作留神了高级语法、高级词汇和句型的运用。

高级语法：非谓语动词、虚拟语气的使用；

高级词汇：muchtooursurprise，complain；

高级句型：FromwhereIstand，AtthesametimeIsuggest...等等的使用使文章增色不少；

4.习作留神运用了变通表达法。主要表达在以下两个方面：在描述图表1的有关数据时就举行了变通：在描述完其他两个数据后，没有简朴地用“50%ofthestudentssaythattheyspentanunhappywinterholiday”来举行描述，而是用“However,muchtooursurprise,thereststudentscomplainthattheyarenotsatisfiedwiththeirwinterholidaylifeatall”；在遇到拿不准用什么词汇来正确表达有关内容时，作了变通表达。如表达“补习弱科”时用了“Thentheyusedtheirtimetostudysubjectswhichtheyarenotgoodat”来举行表达，相信这样的句子虽然带点Chinglish的味道，但是老外也能看得懂；

5.尤其是结果提出建议，这样写算是恰到好处：紧扣图表所反映的内容分别给学生和学校提出了相关的建议。

习作的缺点：

1.动词时态使用上有点混乱。描述学生发表的观法时用一般现在时没有错，但是在讲寒假中的事或感受就要用一般过去时了。所以以下这些句子的时态都要修改：①Fromthepicturewecanseethat20%ofstudentsthinktheyfelthappyduringthewinterholiday.Finally,theyhadalittletimetotakepartinphysicalactivities.

2.有些句子完全按照汉语来举行思维表达的。如：②“And30%studentsholdanordinaryattitudetowardsit”翻译成汉语就是：30%的学生对寒假持一般的态度。什么是“一般态度”，读者就不得而知了。应改成：“30%studentscannotsaywhethertheyspentahappywinterholidayornot”。此外“图表的”的正确表达不是“picture”而是“chart”或“graph”。还有在给校长提建议时不成以使用“force”而理应使用“ask”或“tell”，由于“force”含有“使用武力”的意思。

3.段与段之间的贯穿不是很精细。如在表达理由之前最好加上“Whydidsomanystudentsfeelunhappyduringtheirwinterholiday?”或“Thestudentswhodidn’thaveagoodtimeduringtheholidayhavegiventhereasonsasfollow”之类的话，才使得上下文连接对比精细。再譬如在提建议之前要用一句话总结一下上文“AsfarasI’mconcerned,itisthegreatpressureofstudythatmakesusstudentsfeelunhappy.”以引起下文，使得上下文浑然一起。4.要制止一些小错误。如：“20%ofstudents”应改成“20%ofthestudents”或“20%students”；“spenthalfofthetimeeverydayondoingtheirhomework”应改成“spenthalfofthetimeeveryday(in)doingtheirhomework”等等；

5.还要留神句子与句子的合并以显得表达上的干脆流畅。如应将“①Fromthepicturewecanseethat20%ofstudentsthinktheyfeelhappyduringthewinterholiday.②And30%studentsholdanordinaryattitudetowardsit.”这两句合并成为一个复合句“FromChart1wecanseethatonly20%ofthestudentsthinktheyhadahappywinterholidaywhile30%studentscannotsaywhethertheyspentahappywinterholidayornot”。

Dearheadmaster,

Recentlyourstudents’unionhashadasurveyonwhathighschoolseniorsthinkofthepastwinterholiday.

FromChart1wecanseethatonly20%ofthestudentsthinktheyhadahappywinterholidaywhile30%studentscannotsaywhethertheyspentahappywinterholidayornot.However,muchtooursurprise,therestcomplainthattheyarenotsatisfiedwiththeirwinterholidaylifeatall.

Whydidsomanystudentsfeelunhappyduringtheirwinterholiday?Thereasonsareasfollow:Ontheonehand,theyspenthalfofthetimeeverydaydoingtheirhomework.Besides,makinguptheweaksubjectstookupalmost1/3oftheirdailytime.Ontheotherhand,theyhadtosparesometimetomemorizeEnglishwords.Finally,theyhadlesstimetotakepartinphysicalactivities.

FromwhereIstand,it’snecessaryforustolearnhowtokeepbalancebetweenstudyandphysicalactivities.AtthesametimeIsuggestyoushouldtakemeasurestoreducestudents’loadandaskourteachersnottogiveussomuchhomeworktododuringtheholiday.

Yourssincerely,

LiHua

Dearheadmaster,

Recentlyourstudents’unionhashadasurveyonwhathighschoolseniorsthinkofthepastwinterholiday.

Accordingtooursurvey,halfofthestudentscomplainthattheydidn’thaveagoodtimeduringthewinterholidaywhile30%studentscannotsaywhethertheyspentahappywinterholidayornot.Bycontrast,only20%ofthestudentssurveyedaresatisfiedwiththeirholiday.

Thestudentswhodidn’thaveagoodtimeduringtheholidayhavegiventhereasonsasfollows:Withhalfofthetimespentdoingendlesshomework,theyhadlesstimetotakepartinphysicalactivities.Besides,theyhadtosetasideafewhourstoimprovetheirweaklessonseveryday.Furthermore,recitingEnglishwordscostthemsometime.

Inmyopinion,itismuchpressurefromstudythatmakessomestudentssufferalot.Iwouldappreciateitifyoucouldhelpusenjoyacolorfulandfruitfulholiday.Ofcourse,itcouldn’tbebetterifwecouldhavelessholidaywork,sothatwecanhavemoretimeforsportstomakeusbetterpreparedforthenewterm.

Yourssincerely,

LiHua

（169words）

图表类作文是通过供给的一组或几组数据来反映某个趋势或某一问题、现象。要求考生对图表中的相关数据举行描述、分