哈佛幸福课.课件.150407perfection

Perfeconizmti1OutlineWhatisPerfectionism?CharacteristicsConsequencesSuccessandHappinessSourcesofPerfectionismOvercomingPerfectionism234Learntofailorfailtolearn5Crisis(WeiJi)DangerandOpportunity6“Thegreatestmistakeamancanmakeistobeafraidofmakingone.” ElbertHubbard7ThePathofFailureAge22:LostjobAge23:DefeatedforstatelegislatureAge24:FailedinbusinessAge27:NervousbreakdownAge34:RanforcongressanddefeatedAge39:DefeatedagainAge46:RanforsenateanddefeatedAge47:DefeatedfornominationforvicepresidentAge50:DefeatedagainforsenateAge51:16thUSPresident8“Freedomisnotworthhavingifitdoesnotconnotefreedomtoerr.” MohandasGandhi9“Theimportantworkofmovingtheworldforwarddoesnotwaittobedonebyperfectmen.”GeorgeEliot1011121314ThomasWatsonSr.IBMAmyEdmondson(1999)“PsychologicalSafety”“Ifyouwanttoincreaseyoursuccessrate,doubleyourfailurerate.” ThomasWatsonSr.“OriginsofGenius”(Simonton,1999)Failyourwaytosuccess(Klem,1997)15Perfectionismisanincapacitatingfearoffailurethatpermeatesourlives,especiallythoseareasthatwecareaboutmost.Itisanapproach,acognitiveandemotionalschema,thatweholdtowardthejourneyofourlives,towardtheprocessofgettingfrompointAtopointB.16PerfectionVs.ExcellenceCharacteristicsDefensiveOpentoSuggestionsHalfEmptyHalfFullOverGeneralizeRealisticNoSelf-AcceptanceUnconditionalAcceptanceStaticDynamicPerfectionExcellenceFearoffailureFailureasfeedbackFocusonDestinationJourneyandDestination17PerfectionVs.ExcellenceConsequencesTemporaryReliefLastingSatisfactionInevitableFailurePossibilityofSuccessWastestimeAppropriateTimeAllocationPronetodisordersHealthyApproachHurtsSelf-EsteemContinuousImprovementHarmsRelationshipsAllowsforGrowthAnxiety/StressCreativeTensionPerfectionExcellencePerformance?LessPainMoreGain18LessPainMoreGain??*@#!!#??SustainableapproachtogrowthProcrastinationHigherlevelsofself-confidenceLearntofailorfailtolearn‘TheLuckFactor’(Wiseman,2003)Creativity(Simonton,1999)80/20Rule(Pareto’sPrinciple)Increaseinflowexperiences(Csikszentmihalyi,1991)19SourceofPerfectionismConditioningDestination=Reward=AcceptanceJourney=Unrewarded=MeansOnlySocialenvironmentPermissiontobehuman?20212223242526“Emphasizingeffortgivesachildavariablethattheycancontrol.Theycometoseethemselvesasincontroloftheirsuccess.Emphasizingnaturalintelligencetakesitoutofthechild’scontrol,anditprovidesnogoodrecipeforrespondingtoafailure.”IntelligenceversusEffortHarmfulPraise?(Dweck,2005)“Whenyoupraisekids'intelligenceandthentheyfail,theythinkthey'renotsmartanymore,andtheyloseinterestintheirwork.Incontrast,kidspraisedforeffortshownoimpairmentandoftenareenergizedinthefaceofdifficulty.”FixedversusMalleable27OvercomingPerfectionismAwareness2829OvercomingPerfectionismAwarenessFocuson,andreward,effortActiveAcceptanceBehaviorchangesattitudeMeditationandvisualizationSettingaliberatinggoalorvisionThePlatinumRuleHelpingothers?30Applyingthe3P’s…1.PermissionAcceptanceRespectforreality2.PositiveBen