英语短文-社交课堂：12步克服羞涩和社交焦虑症

1、英语短文社交课堂：12步克服羞涩和社交焦虑症Shynessandsocialanxietyareusuallytheresultofanoverlyexcitedamygdala(aportionofthebrainthatreceivesstimulationbasedonyoursurroundings).Individualswhoareshyorsociallyanxioustypicallyhaveanamygdalathatisextremelysensitive(inpartduetotheirgenetics,inpartduetothewaytheywereraised).害

2、羞和社交焦虑症通常都是杏仁核过度兴奋造成的现象，而杏仁核则是一种根据环境接收刺激的大脑组织。害羞或有社交焦虑症的人，杏仁核一般都非常敏感这一方面跟基因有关，另一方面则归因于他们的成长经历。Shyorsociallyanxiousindividualsperceiveunknownsituationsashighlythreatening.在害羞或社交焦虑的人看来，未知环境都是非常危险的。Thisfeelingofbeing“threatened”wouldbebeneficialifyouwerebeingchasedbyalion;causingyourmindtofocussolelyon

3、whatiscriticaltosaveyourlife.However,yourmind“goingblank”atadinnerpartyorwhenyourbosswalksinyourofficeisnotverybeneficial.当你被一头狮子追捕时，这种警惕感会十分有利，能让你一门心思想方设法逃命。但是，在宴会上或老板走进你办公室时，如果你的大脑还是会“一片空白”，那就不好了。Sowiththat,let'sdiscuss12waystoovercomeshynessandsocialanxiety.所以，我们来看看下面这12个克服害羞和社交焦虑症的方法吧。12Step

4、stoOvercomingShynessandSocialAnxiety12步克服羞涩和社交焦虑症：1. RealityCheck认清事实Stepnumberoneistorecognizewhatistakingplacechemicallyinyourbrainwhenyou'refeelinganxiousorshy.第一步就是要弄清楚当你感到紧张或害羞时，大脑会发生怎样的化学变化。Youarenotabnormal;yourbrainisjust“unusually”sensitivetonewstimuli,causingyoutoproceedwithextremecaut

5、ionusually“unnecessarycaution.”Justknowingthiswillhelpyourationalizewhat'sgoingonandwillhelprelaxyouinfuturesituations.你没有“不正常”：只不过你的大脑对新刺激“格外”敏感罢了，以至于你表现得特别谨慎一般都是些“不必要的谨慎”。认识到这一点有助于你理性面对正在发生的事情，进而在以后环境中做到自如放松。Noneedtobecomeshyoranxious,justtellyourselfthatit'sjustsomechemicalsandcellsreacti

6、ngbasedonaperceivedthreatthat'snotreallythere-noneedtopanic(ignoretheracingheartandsweatypalms)-justcalmdownandproceedintelligently.没必要害羞或焦虑，你只要告诉自己：这些不过是假想危险引发的化学与细胞反应罢了。也没必要惊慌，别去管那加速的心跳和冒汗的手心，尝试镇静下来并机智应对。2. Don'tPonderonNegativeThoughts不要陷入消极思维Whenyougiveapresentation-there'salwaysthre

7、epresentationsinvolved:There'sthepresentationyouplannedongiving,there'sthepresentationyouactuallygave,andthenthere'sthepresentationyouwishyougave.如果你要作报告，那么报告无非就三种形式：你正在发布的报告、你已经发布的报告，以及你打算发布的报告。Whenyoufocusonwhatyoucouldhavedonebetter,whenyoufocusonthenegative,youcreateacycleofnegativit

8、y.Afteryouleaveameeting,oradinnerparty,orasocialgathering,don'tponderonhowyoucouldhavebeen“better.”Don'tthink,“WhydidIsaythat?”当你一味想着本可以做得更好时，当你只看到消极方面时，你就会形成消极循环模式。所以，会议、派对或集会结束后，请不要纠结自己本可以表现得“更出色”，也不要懊恼“刚才我干嘛要那样说?”。Everyonesayssomethingfoolishfromtime-to-time,however,focusingonnegativitywi

9、llleadyoutobelievethatyouareapersonwhosaysthewrongthingsatsocialgatherings;thatbeliefwillmanifestitselfeverytime.Recognizethateveryonesayssomethingfoolishfromtime-to-time;don'tponder,moveon.每个人难免都会说些蠢话，如果你只看到消极面，渐渐就会真的以为自己在社交时只会说错话;而且，这种想法每次都会应验。请记住：每个人偶尔都会说些蠢话。所以，不要纠结，该干啥就干啥去吧。3. NoPressure不要有压

10、力Don'tfeelpressuretobeinteresting,entertaining,stheortalkative.Justbeyournormal-naturalself.Itpressuretobelikesomeoneelsethatenhancessocialanxietyandshyness.不要为了表现得风趣、讨人喜欢或健谈而感到紧张不安。做回你平常的样子就行。模仿别人的压力会加剧社交焦虑感和羞涩。Youhavesurvivedparticipatinginconversationsyourentirelife.Yournextconversationinagro

11、upisjustonemoreconversation-youarenotrequiredtobethelifeoftheparty.Justbeyourselfandspeakyourmindwhenyouhavesomethingtosay-andifyoudon'thaveanythingtosay-nopressure;“chillout”andhavefun.你这辈子一直就是在与人谈话中成长过来的。接下来在小组中的发言实质上也是谈话而已你又不一定非得成为派对的活跃分子啊。你只要做好自己，有话就说、无话则沉默;不要紧张，放松点吧。4. Don'tAssume别去假想Do

12、n'tassumethatpeoplearejudgingyou.Mostpeopleareprimarilyconcernedaboutthemselvesandhowtheycomeacross;theydon'thavetimetobeconsumedbyyourbehavior.Rememberthis,ifyoudon'trememberanythingelseinthisarticle:Everyoneisawkwardattimes!别去假想其他人怎么看你。多数人通常只会考虑自身和自己的遭遇，没人有时间来关心你如何如何。要是这篇文章没能给你留下什么印象，那

13、么请记住这句话：有时每个人都很难相处!Whenhavingconversations,everysinglepersonatonetimeoranotherdoesorsayssomethingthat'salittleawkward.Don'tfeelthatawkwardsituationsorstrangesilencesareyourfaultalone.Don'ttakecreditforallthenegativesinaconversation.Awkwardthingswillhappen,therewillbesilences,that'sok

14、ay;it'sperfectlynormal,don'tthinkit'snotandkeeponbeingyourselfyourbestself.交谈时，每个人间或都会说出难堪的话来。不要一厢情愿地以为是你造成了这种尴尬的处境或别扭的沉默。不要把谈话的失败全都怪罪到自己身上。尴尬时常发生，沉默也总是出现，没什么大不了的;这很正常，不要少见多怪做好你自己就行啦。5. Don'tPanic-Pause不要慌张稍作停顿There'snoneedtopanicinsocialsituations.Ifsomeoneasksyouaquestion,justp

15、ause.Thinkaboutthequestionandthenansweritappropriately.Mostsociallyanxiousorshyindividualsreacttoquestions.Theyfeeltheneedtoansweraquestionimmediately,assoonasthefinalwordleavesthemouthoftheotherperson;theyfeelobligatedtostartspeakingnotnecessary.社交场合无需慌张。要是有人向你发问，那就先停顿一下，想清楚后再恰当回答对方。大部分社交焦虑或害羞的人总是立

16、刻回答问题。他们觉得只要对方话刚说完，就该作出回答;他们认为谈话是一种“义务”其实完全没必要这样。Youneverwanttoreacttoaquestion;youalwayswanttorespond,afteryoupause.你不需要立即回应提问，你只需在停顿之后回答提问。Whenyoudothis,youwillsoundmorethoughtful,moreinsightful,andyouwillhavegivenmoredeliberatethoughttowhatyou'reabouttosay.Youwillappeartohave“丄»“executiv

17、epresence.”当你这样做时，你听上去会更有想法和见解，你的想法会显得更成熟、更具执行力。Theneedtorespondrightawayshowsthatapersonisn'tcomfortablewithsilence.It'susuallytheleast“powerful”personinaconversationwhodoesn'twanttheretobesilence,butsilenceisokay.Itshowsthatyouarecomfortableinyourskin.立即回应则显得一个人不习惯沉默。通常，谈话中最没有气场的人也最不习惯

18、沉默，其实沉默也没什么。它说明你能够做到悠然自若。Solearntopause,neverpanic!Gatheryourthoughts,avoidsaying“um”andanswerliketheintelligentpersonthatyouare.所以，学会停顿，不要慌张!整理好思绪，改掉“嗯啊”，像机智的人那样去回答问题吧。6. BodyLanguage肢体语言Yourphysiologywilldetermineyourpsychology.你的生理能决定你的心理。Avoidhavingthebodylanguageofsomeonewhoisshyand/ortimid.Don

19、'thaunchoverandtrynottobeseen.不要染上害羞或胆怯的人的肢体语言。不要缩手缩脚躲起来。Standtall,shouldersback.Peoplewillbelievethebodylanguageyouportraymorethanthewordsyousay!Ifyoulooktimid,peoplewillbelieveyouaretimidandwilltreatyoulikeatimidperson.请挺直腰板。你的肢体语言远比口头言谈更有信服力!如果你看上去就很羞怯，人们也会这么认为，接着就会把你当作羞怯的人对待。Tobeseenasaleade

20、r,walklikeapresident.Takeupspacelikeyou'reaking.Putyourfeetonthedesk,makelargehandgestures,standtall.Ifyoupossessthebodylanguageofaleader,peoplewillbegintotreatyoulikealeader.Theywillassumethatifyouhandleyourselflikeaking,ifyoudresslikeaking,youmusthavegoodreasonfordoingso.Peoplewillbelievetheim

21、ageyouportray!请像领导一样出场，如总统一般大步流星。像国王那样压住气场把脚搁在桌上、采用大气的手势、抬头挺胸。如果你拥有领导的肢体语言，人们就会像对待领导那样对你。他们会觉得，要是你穿得像个国王、举止也像国王，那你肯定有两下子。你所树立的形象可以赢得人们的信任!7. BeTheFirstToInitiate成为第一个主动的人Don'twaitforotherstointroduceyou;youshouldinitiatetheintroduction.IrecentlysawU.S.PresidentBarackH.Obamaontelevision;hewaswalk

22、ingintoavotinglocationtocasthisballotforthe2012U.S.PresidentialElection.Iwatchedtoseehowhisdemeanordifferedfromothers.不要等别人来介绍你，你应该先主动介绍自己。最近我在电视上看到美国总统巴拉克?奥巴马：他向投票点走去，竞选2012年的美国总统。我一直留意他的言行究竟如何与众不同。Here'swhatstoodout:hewalkedconfidentlywithasmileonhisface,andhetooktimetointroducehimselftotheind

23、ividualsintheroom.That'sall,anditmadehimappeartobeverypresidential,veryconfidentinhimself.这个与众不同就是：他面带微笑地自信地走过去，然后开始向房间里的所有人介绍自己。就凭这样，已经使他显得非常有总统范儿、对自己非常有信心了。Hecouldhavewalkedintherewithhisheadhelddown,assumingeveryoneknewwhohewas,likethesociallyanxious.Butinstead,heownedhisspace,heinitiatedcont

24、actandlookedverypowerfulintheprocess.本来他也可以低着头走过去，心里猜测别人怎么看他，一副社交焦虑的样子;但是，他压住了气场、主动开始了交流，整个过程都显得很有震慑力。8. MoveSlow放慢动作One“surefire”waytoappearsociallyanxiousistomakelotsofsuddenmovements.Considerthelion,theliononlymoveswhenitisnecessary,allofitsmovementsaredeliberate.Thelionappearsconfident;thelionis

25、confident.显得社交焦虑的一个“致命”方法就是一下子做太多动作。想想狮子吧，只会在必要时出动，而且每次出动都很慎重。狮子不仅看上去很自信，也确实很有信心。Nowimaginethechipmunk,chipmunksareconstantly“lookingovertheirshoulder,”theymakelotsofsuddenmovements,alwaysonthewatch-alwaysappearingtobesupremelynervousandonguardagainstattackers.再想想花栗鼠总是东张西望、动来动去、张望不停，看上去似乎非常紧张，总在防备袭击

26、者一样。Slow,deliberatemovementswillnotonlymakeyouappearmoreconfident,itwillactuallycontributetoyourpersonalconfideneebanksoavoid“chipmunklike”behavior.缓慢而慎重的动作不仅使你看上去更自信，实际上也能真正提高你的自信力。所以，千万不要有花栗鼠一样的行为啊!9. TakeUpSpace压住气场Youmustlearntotakeupspace;powerfulpeopletakeuplotsofspace.Don'tholdyourarmsint

27、owardsyourbody-openthemup.Ifyou'reinameeting,spreadyourthingsout,usebodylanguagethatmakesyouappearlargerthanlife.Anxiouspeopleshrink;confidentpeopleexpandandshine.你必须学会压住气场;有气度的人都很有气场。不要两臂交叉抱胸，放下来吧。如果你在开会，那就多分散自己的物品，用肢体语言来提高自己的形象。焦虑的人畏首畏尾;自信的人张扬而耀眼。Asyoupracticetakingupspaceyouwillappearmoreconf

28、identandincontrol.你在练习气场时，会变得越来越自信，也越来越有掌控力。10. TheSecrettoSuccess成功秘诀Ifyouareasociallyanxiousorshyperson,youareprobablyveryfamiliarwiththatheartthumpingfeelingyougetwhenspeakinginfrontofacrowd.Theheartthumpingfeelingthatcausesyoutogetflusteredandforgetwhatyou'reabouttosay.Ifthisisyou,I'vewr

29、ittenthesenextfewlineswithyouinmind-becauseIwanttodocumentforyouhowyoucaneasilysucceedwhenthishappensnexttime.如果你是一个社交焦虑或害羞的人，可能会很熟悉那种当众演讲时心跳加剧的感觉，这种感觉使你心慌意乱，甚至忘了要说什么。如果你就是这样的人，那下面的内容就是为你而写的因为我想向你证明，下次再遇到类似情况，你可以轻易取得成功。Asyouknow,whenyoupracticeyourpresentationinaroombyyourself,you'renotnervous;y

30、ou'reconfidentandpoised.However,whenyougetinfrontofagroupofstrangers,orevenyourpeers-theelementof:possiblysayingthewrongthing,orembarrassingyourselfcausesyourbodytobecomeuptightandyourhearttorace.你也知道，当一个人在房间里练习演说时，你不仅不紧张，甚至还沉着自信。可是，一旦你站到一群陌生人、甚至同行人面前时，不经意说错话或出丑就能让你身体僵硬、心跳加快。Thekeytosolvingthisd

31、ilemmaisinhowyoupractice.Practicedoesn'tmakeperfect,butperfectpracticewillmakeyoudarngood.WhenIsayperfectpractice,I'mtalkingaboutrecreatingthesituationexactlyasitwillbewhenit'stimeforyoutopresent.Ifyourheartwillberacingwhenit'stimeforyoutopresent,anditwill.It'simportantthatyourhe

32、artisracingwhenyou'repracticing,thiswayyouwillbeaccustomedtothefeelingandbeabletohandleitconfidentlyandappropriately.解决这一窘境的关键就要看你是怎么练习的了。练习不一定总能达成目标，但“无懈可击的练习”却可以让你表现出众。所谓“无懈可击的练习”，是指完全按照将要面对的情境进行准备。要是作报告时你会心跳加速，那么练习时也会。练习时心跳加速也很有意义，因为这样你就能习惯这种紧张感，慢慢知道如何自信而恰当地应对了。Sobeforeyoupracticethatnextbigs

33、peech,runupaflightofstairsafewtimes,orwalkupaflightofstairs;doafewdozenpush-ups.Anythingtogetyourheartracing,thenpracticeyourspeech.Repeatthisuntilyoucanconfidentlyandcalmlypresent,evenwhenyourheartisracing.所以在准备下次重要演讲前，请尝试多爬几趟楼梯或做些俯卧撑，让自己心跳加速起来，然后再练习演讲。不断重复，直到你能自信而镇定地把报告做好哪怕当时心里仍在砰砰跳。Intime,yourhea

34、rtwillracelessandless-becauseyouwillknowthatthere'snothingtofear,butfearitself.最后，你会渐渐不再心跳加速因为你发现除了害怕本身，真的没什么好害怕的。11.PrepareinAdvance,ButDon'tPractice提前准备，但不必练习Preparationisimportant.Ifyou'regoingtoaneventwhereyouhavetobesocial,itwon'thurttobrushuponthecurrenteventsintheworld:politically,socially,aswellasintheentertainmentindustry(ifappropriatefortheevent).准备很重要。如果在接下来的活动中你必须与人打交道，那不妨了解下当今政治、社会或娱乐界的时事话题吧。(如果跟活动有关