高中英语m5教学课件学军中学 书面表达

1、2010年高考书面表达评析杭州学军中学 姜发兵丽水，2010年10月12日最近，李越被评为你班的“每周之星”。请你根据她的先进事迹（上周六，不顾天气炎热，为班级选购歌咏比赛的服装），用英语为班级板报写一篇100-120词的短文。你的文章应包括以下要点： 1. 李越的事迹及其对同学的影响。 2. 你的评论。star student of the weekli yue has been awarded the title of the star for what she did for our class.五审审全卷：发卷之初即看作文题，了解大体要求，以便在答其他题目的同时构思文章架构，或从试卷中

2、筛选备用词汇和短语。审话题：个人情况、人际关系、语言学习、日常活动、周围环境、文娱体育、校园生活审功能：感谢、道歉、祝愿、祝贺、劝告、建议、希望、征允、介绍、邀请、同意、喜好、意愿、反对、表扬、鼓励、评价、抱怨、情感、时空、特征、因果、比较、施惠、观点、求职、 推荐审文体：新闻报道、讨论纪要、情况对比、事件记叙、通告发言、表格说明审要点：要点整合扩展、段落归属、首句续话、人称时态1. -how about camping this weekend, just for a change? -ok, whatever you want.2. many lifestyle patterns do s

3、uch great harm to health that they actually speed up the weakening of the human body.3. the settlement is home to nearly 1,000 people, many of whom left their village homes for a better life in the city.4. the majority of people in the town strongly support the plan to build a playground for childre

4、n.5. if you plant watermelon seeds in the spring, you will be eating fresh watermelon in the fall.预审：发卷之初即看作文题，了解大体要求，以便在答其他题目的同时构思文章架构，或从试卷中筛选备用词汇和短语。all the classmates, the majority of whom participated in the singing contest, were thankful to li yue for going out of her way to find the right cost

5、umes.we would be competing in the singing contest next week and so we needed costumes for the activity. 3. the settlement is home to nearly 1,000 people, many of whom left their village homes for a better life in the city.5. if you plant watermelon seeds in the spring, you will be eating fresh water

6、melon in the fall.审话题：个人情况、人际关系、语言学习、日常活动、周围环境、文娱体育、校园生活last saturday morning when li yue woke up, it was a day just like any other day. the sun was shining, the birds were singing and there was still a little homework to do.while her homework was very important, she didnt forget that she would have

7、 to buy costumes for the singing contest.认真；满意，感动，感谢；训练用功，更有信心，比赛成绩好，大家很开心；乐于助人，热心班级活动，工作负责，学习用功，与人为善。是大家学习的楷模。表达祝贺。名至实归。审功能意念：感谢、道歉、祝愿、祝贺、劝告、建议、希望、征允、介绍、邀请、同意、喜好、意愿、反对、表扬、鼓励、评价、抱怨、情感、时空、特征、因果、比较、施惠、观点、求职、 推荐1.感谢: appreciate; gratitude2.祝贺: congratulate3.表扬: keep up the good work, proud 4.评价: awesom

8、e, sweet, trustworthy, role model, a kind gesture, be there for5.情感: impressed; 6.因果: as, because, thanks totrustworthy: can be trusted and depended on审文体：新闻报道、讨论议论、情况对比、事件记叙、通告发言、图表说明thank you for reading.abcd人称时态审结构：要点整合扩展、段落归属、首句如何续话star student of the weekli yue has been awarded the title of the

9、 star for what she did for our class.上周六，不顾天气炎热，为班级选购歌咏比赛的服装。 出于自愿，反复选择，大家满意深受感动，表达感谢，训练用功，更有信心。比赛成绩好。大家很开心。乐于助人，热心班级活动，工作负责，学习用功，与人为善。是大家学习的楷模。表达祝贺。名至实归。审全卷many of whom, will be eating审话题人际关系、校园生活审功能感谢、祝贺、表扬、评价、情感、因果、审文体新闻报道、事件记叙（过去时态）、短评（ 现在时态）审结构（第一段先进事迹50字45%）上周六，不顾天气炎热，为班级选购歌 咏比赛的服装。 出于自愿，反复选择，

10、大家满意（对同学影响20字20%）深受感动，表达感谢，训练用功，更有信心。比赛成绩好。大家很开心。（第二段你的评论40字35%）乐于助人，热心班级活动，工作负责，学习用功，与人为善。是大家学习的楷模。名至实归。阅卷数据均分和得分分布02.8311.8921.7932.242.453.2964.091674.1984.6994.5105.29114.59126.530136.89147.29157.29166.89175.9186.340193.79202.6211.5221.3230.8240.610250.3260.13270.11280.05290.043000.6全省平均分12.16自评

11、监控（不同时间自批同一份卷分差在5分以内） 三评评卷速度：48.83秒5a字母匀称 大小适宜间距合理 连笔规范标点正确 修改无痕字数达标 段落明晰academic书写书写accurate句构屈折时态单复冠词拼写语法错误，且句首即错拼写词性all is well that is spelt well.appropriate风格明显要点到位用词适度语气适当表述中立用词不贴切she is always described as a person of good personality.she is really a pleasant person, possessing admirable qual

12、ities of friendliness and honesty.she should have the award of the star student. li yue sets a good example with her act of kindness.you need to change the way: learn from mistakes, failure, your experienceli yue has influenced the whole class positively and he is really our role model.she deserves

13、to be awarded the honor. 用词不贴切to give all your effort or time to something you believe in.he devotes himself to helping those in need.we were greatly impressed by her kind gesture. 或：his act of kindness was appreciated. to be frank, i applaud the decision that li was chosen the star of the week.when

14、 it comes to: you start to talk about something.when it comes to speaking foreign languages, martha beats me hands down. she can speak more than five languages fluently! i cant think of everything right now, but when it comes to me ill add more later.(honest even when this might be awkward or make o

15、ther people uncomfortable:to be frank with you, i dont think she deserved the title. students never care about school activities.some studentstend to beless active inhelp others, and they will help others.if you reach out to help others, most likely they will pay forward.语气不恰当authentic降低调门减少比喻间接翻译观点

16、合理政治正确i wish people would care more about our class like li yue and get involved to make it a better place.when inteviewed, the elderly said, “we are greatly grateful to our party!” the elderly said, “we really love keeping you company. it was really sweet of you to be here with us.” 不地道调高young peop

17、le are to the elderly what the fish to the water. many young people are brought up by their grandparents. they should learn to pay the love forward.不地道比喻they brought some fruit, which they had no chance to eat.they brought some fruit, but most importantly, they brought love and kindness.连接副词思维严谨逻辑严密

18、accessibleli yue told us to calm down. to our surprise, we did at last. _ the elderly need our help.a. with the development of industry, b. being physically weak and lonely, some of us felt nervous at the thought of standing in front of the audience, but hopefully, li yue was able to help them handl

19、e the stress. li yue is always warm-hearted and cares a lot about the class. in addition, she often devotes her spare time to helping others. she has set a good example for us. therefore, she deserves the honor. the elderly were very excited.the elderly were very excited because the two volunteers d

20、ecided to do this on a weekly basis.students should do the service for society.students should be encouraged to donate some time for community service教师范文a（教师创作1）li yue has been awarded the title of the star student of the week for what she did for our class.last saturday, the school held its annual

21、 singing contest. li yue had volunteered to buy the costumes for our class. in spite of the summer heat, she went back and forth between the stores and the class until everyone was satisfied with the choice of costumes. thanks to her efforts, our class performance turned out to be hugely successful.

22、 the whole class was impressed by her sweet act and grateful for her patience and enthusiasm. li yue has always been the role model for many of us because she is responsible and always ready to help others. having a star student like her really strengthens the community of our classroom. (110 words)

23、b（教师创作2）li yue has been awarded the title of the star student of the week for what she did for our class. she was selected for being very helpful and considerate of others in our preparation for the school singing competition. last saturday, regardless of the hot weather, li yue toured different sto

24、res before she found the right costumes for our class. we all agreed that the gorgeous costumes made every participant more confident and the competition was more a fun activity than a stressful competition because of her effort. she deserves the title for her outstanding behavior during the previou

25、s week and for being such a tremendous role model. so congratulations to li yue on achieving the title of star student. keep up the good work! and we really want to see more students compete for the title. (115 words)c（外教范文）li yue has been awarded the title of the star student of the week for what s

26、he did for our class. last saturday morning li yue thought to herself about how important the upcoming song competition was for the class. disregarding the hot weather, she decided to make her way to the shops. she carefully chose the ideal costume for the activity. and with great maturity, responsi

27、bility and motivation she found what she was looking for. we were deeply impressed and truly felt thankful to her for going out of her way to help us enjoy our important day.li yue is really our role model for being so thoughtful and helpful. i wish i could also have wonderful ways to be kind just l

28、ike him. (110 words)d（高考范文） li yue has been awarded the title of star student of the week for what she did for our class. on the hot afternoon of last saturday, li yue went downtown and walked from one store to another, looking for the costumes we would wear in the singing contest. while the rest of

29、 us were enjoying our leisure time in cool and comfortable rooms, she spent the whole afternoon searching and selecting. finally, she found the right clothes. deeply moved by her efforts, we tried our best and won the first prize in the contest. li yue is always warm-hearted and cares a lot about the class. in addition, she often devotes her spare time to helping others. she has set a good example for us. therefore, she deserves the honor. (117 words)命题走向浙浙20200404推荐学推荐学中文的中文的词典词典收词收词 价价格格 特点特点字典字典5 5学校生活学校生活（学习）（学习）封封闭闭表格表格要