Chapter-2-Western-Marriage西方婚礼礼仪.doc

Chapter Two Western Marriage Custom and FolkloreI Western Marriage custom and folklore1.1 Courting and Proposal1.1.1 Asking permission from the girls father1.1.2 Proposal to the girl1.2 Engagement1.2.1 Rites of engagement1.2.2 Ring on which finger?1.3 Pre-Wedding 1.3.1 Make known of the wedding ceremony to the parish 1.3.2 Pre-wedding seclusion (Why the Groom Cant See the Bride?)1.3.3 Wedding Attendants1.3.4 Wedding Dress1.4 Wedding1.4.1 Place for wedding 1.4.2 Wedding March 1.4.3 Giving the Bride Away（交付新娘）(p73) 1.4.4 Wedding vows1.5 Wedding Dinner1.5.1 Wedding cake1.5.2 Flowers and Bouquet 婚礼鲜花/花束 1.5.3 Newlyweds leave for honeymoon1.6 HoneymoonII Expression for wedding anniversariesIII Questions for thinking1. In western countries, which month is a popular month for wedding? Why?2. Can you tell the origin of the “wedding attendants”?3. Why did the word “honeymoon” become to refer to “the journey that the couple takes after their wedding”? 4. Do you know anything about “carrying the bride over the threshold”? Try to find it out.I Western Marriage custom and folklore1.1 Courting and Proposal1.1.1 Asking permission from the girls fatherMarriage all begins with engagement. Traditionally, a young man asks the father of his sweetheart for permission to marry her. 1.1.2 Proposal to the girlIf the father agrees, the man later proposes to her. Often he tries to surprise her by popping the question in a romantic way. In modern America, many things have lost their formalities such as the marriage proposal. The man getting down on one knee and asking the woman, “Susan, will you marry me?” is not a common sight now. But this practice, being a tradition, is still living as a romantic episode in peoples mind. Background stories: The Marriage Proposal (p66)1.2 Engagement1.2.1 Rites of engagementWhen the couple just decides together that the time is right to get married， the man usually gives his fiance a diamond ring as a symbol of their engagement. They may be engaged for weeks, months or even years. As the big day approaches, bridal showers(贺礼赠送会)and bachelors parties（单身俱乐部）provide many useful gifts. Today many couples also receive counseling during engagement. This prepares them for the challenges of married life. 1.2.2 On which finger should the young man/girl wear the ring According to western tradition, ring with special symbolic meaning(s) (e.g., engagement ring, wedding ring/band) is worn on the third/ring finger. Different kind of ring has its own meaning, e.g., diamond ring for engagement and ring without welding for marriage, which emblems that one remains devoted to his/her spouse for the whole life.1.3 Pre-Wedding 1.3.1 Make known of the wedding ceremony to the parish According to the rituals of Catholicism, those whose are going to hold wedding ceremony need to make the coming marriage and wedding ceremony known to the parish (教区，教区居民) for three times. It is said that doing that can prevent improper marriage. Once the would be bride or bridegroom is found having married or once the couple is found having sibship (relationship by blood血缘关系), they will be reported as illegal by the insiders（知情者）. The customs has been handed down for 1000 years.In past, it was the brides side that managed the sending out of wedding invitations, but nowadays, both the brides and grooms families undertake the responsibility.1.3.2 Pre-wedding seclusion (Why the Groom Cant See the Bride?) It has long been considered bad luck for a groom to see his bride before the wedding day. One explanation for this superstition is that waiting at the altar（神坛）, wondering how she will look, heightens the drama and lessens the grooms chances of getting cold feet（临阵畏缩）. The sudden appearance of his beloved, decked out（打扮）like a vision in white, so astonished the man that he is a husband before he knows what has hit him. The surprise factor thus ensures groomly compliance（顺从）. A more substantial historical explanation is that the prohibition is the remains from primitive seclusion（隔离）rites, which stipulate that nobody should see an engaged girl before she has passed fully into womanhood. As one of the most significant rites of passage为人生进入一个重要阶段（如成年，结婚，死亡等）而举行的仪式, marriage involves a period of separation from old ways, a period of transition（过渡）, and a period of incorporation（结合）into the new. The middle period is filled with confusion（困惑）and imagined dangers. In many cultures brides-to-be（准新娘）are considered unclean and are secluded for a period of time before the ceremony so that they will not contaminate（弄脏）others. Whether or not this attitude plays a role in the modern superstition, its clear that keeping the bride at a distance until the critical moment reflects the primitive anxiety about transition-the concern that, until the incorporation ceremonies are completed, something can always go wrong.1.3.3 Wedding Attendants The typical wedding includes a bridal party, which is composed of, in addition to the happy couple, a best man（伴郎）, a maid or matron of honor伴娘（为结婚的为maid of honor, 已结婚的为matron of honor, ushers（男傧相）and bridesmaids（女傧相）of equal numbers, and usually flower girls（花童）. There are several possible explanations for this group of attendants. The most obvious and practical explanation is that the wedding party is enlisted to see to it that（保证）many small details of the ceremony are not ignored, and everything goes well, and to emotionally and physically support the bride and groom on this one of the most important days in their lives. The best man seems to serve as the “express man”（快捷送递员）of the ceremony, changed with “moving things along smoothly”; The bridesmaids would assist the bride with dressing, and help to move the brides belongings to her new home. A second explanation is based on the idea that the attendants are the modern version of rival war parties, from the days of marriage by capture. Ushers have thus evolved from the grooms men indeed, ushers used to be called groomsmen（男傧相） and bridesmaid from the brides defenders; the best man plays the roles of the grooms strongest and most reliable supporter. This idea, however, fails to explain why the brides defenders, surely originally male, should have changed gender（性别）over ceremonies. Probably the attendants, rather than warriors, would be seen as a group of witness, who stand by the couple to attest to their character and to the validity（有效，合法性）of the union. A third and superstitious theory takes the attendants as substitutes for the new couple. In the days when evil spirits were thought to be a potential threat to any ceremony, the bride and groom dressed their friends identically or similarly to their own, to confuse the demons. If the bride stands out dramatically from her bridesmaids today, it may be because we have ceased to be worried about demons. As for flower girls, their appearance in wedding today can undoubtedly add joy to the scene, and may be helpful to the adults to manage the tension of the ceremony. This custom may come from the weddings of medieval times. It was the custom then for two young girls, preferably sisters, to walk before the bride and groom, carrying wheat sheaves（麦束）, a symbol of fruition（结果）since the Roman era. Since bearing（结果实，生育） was, then as now, hazardous as well as joyous, having young virgins care for the fertility symbols may have been a way to weaken their destructive potency（潜能）. The presence of the youngster sent a symbolic appeal to（恳求）the gods for blessing（赐福，祝福）and protection.1.3.4 Wedding DressThe newlyweds choose their own style of colors, decorations and music during the ceremony. But some things rarely change. The bride usually wears a beautiful, long white wedding dress. She traditionally wears “something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.” The groom wears a formal suit or tuxedo. Several close friends participate in the ceremony as attendants, including the best man and the maid of honor. “Something new” refers to brides white gown which must be new and which symbolizes virginity, and it also symbolizes the start of new life. “Something old” refers to the white veil and gauze headscarf （头纱）, which is once used by brides mother. It implies that bride will never forget her parents. “Something borrowed” refers to the brides handkerchief that is borrowed from her friends, which shows that she will never forget her formal friends. “Something blue” refers to the blue ribbons on the wedding dress, which represents brides loyalty to love and marriage. 1.4 Wedding1.4.1 Place for wedding Although most weddings follow long-held traditions, theres still room for American individualism. For example, the usual place for a wedding is in a church. But some people get married outdoors in a scenic spot. A few even have the ceremony while skydiving or riding on horseback! The couple may invite hundreds of people or just a few close friends.1.4.2 Wedding March There are two famous versions of wedding march. One is by Richard Wagner (composed in 1848 for Opera Lohengrin) and another one is by Felix Mendelssohn (composed in 1826 for Opera A Mid-Summer Night Dream). In China, Wagners wedding march is more popular, but in western countries, peoples use both versions of wedding march in wedding ceremony. One (Wagners) is played when the newlyweds walk into church, another one (Mendelssohns) is played after the rites held in church and when the newlyweds make their exit from the church.1.4.3 Giving the Bride Away（交付新娘） (p73) As the ceremony begins, groom and his attendants stand with the minister, facing the audience. Music signals the entrance of the brides attendants: the maid or matron（伴娘）, and the flower girls. The bride enters last, usually escorted（陪同，护送）by her father. Giving the bride away is an important religious ritual. The brides father escorts her to the altar and gives her away to the minister, and then the minister gives her away to the groom who has been waiting at the altar（神坛）.1.4.4 Wedding vows The minister asks the young couple “Do you take this woman (man) to be your lawful wedded wife (husband) to live together in the holy estate matrimony?” 你愿否以此女人（男人）为你合法之妻子（丈夫），与你共同生活在圣洁之婚姻中？“Will you love her/him cherish her/him keep her/him honor her/him in sickness in health and forsaking (遗弃,抛弃) all other cleave(粘住,依恋)you only under her/him so long as both shall live?” 你是否愿意在病中、在平时心爱她（他）、护佑她（他）、照料她（他）、尊敬她（他），并摒弃一切，唯她（他）是赖，共度生活？The young couple repeats their vows. Traditionally, they promise to love each other by saying “Ill love him/her for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” But sometimes the couple has composed their own vows. They give each other a gold ring to symbolize their marriage commitment. Finally the minister announces the big moment: “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride!” And the groom lifts the veil and kisses his bride, and the ceremony is ended. “不论好、坏、贫、富、生病时或健康时, 都要彼此相爱”最后牧师宣布这重大的时刻：“我现在宣布你们成为夫妻，你可以亲吻你的新娘！”新郎揭开新娘的面纱亲吻新娘,教堂举行的婚礼仪式结束。 1.5 Wedding Dinner1.5.1 Wedding cake After the wedding ceremony in the church, there is a wedding dinner. At the wedding reception, the bride and groom greet their guests. Then they cut the wedding cake and feed each other a bite. Guests mingle while enjoying cake, punch and other treats. 1.5.2 Flowers and Bouquet 婚礼鲜花/花束 Later the bride throws her bouquet of flowers to a group of single girls. Tradition says that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next to marry. During the reception, playful friends “decorate” the couples car with tissue paper, tin cans and a “Just Married” sign. 1.5.3 Newlyweds leave for honeymoonWhen the reception is over, the newlyweds run to their “decorated” car and speed off. Many couples take a honeymoon, a one- to two-week vacation trip, to celebrate their new marriage. 1.6 Honeymoon A popular belief is that the honeymoon originated in Germany or Scandinavia. It is supposed to have been the month, or “moon”, following the marriage, when the bride and groom would retreat to a secluded spot and partake of the honeyed wine called mead. But the idea of a honeymoon, or honeynonth, is a fairy recent one. The first printed reference to the term honeymoon does not appear until 1546, and honeymonth doesnt come in until a century and a half after that. It is not until 1800s that honeymoon is found referring to the journey that the couple takes after their wedding. However, the term in its original meaning refers not to the period of a month, but to the changeable nature of the moon itself: the newly married are in the “honey”, or full phase of their love, which likes the moon, is bound someday to wane. The nineteenth-century practice, among the upper classes, of taking a journey