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Welcome!
TaoJiangyingChengnanHighSchool
Lead-inWhathappenedtotheboy?Howcanhegetoutofthecrack?Tip1:Usespecificverbstodescribeaspecificscene.backandchestweretouching…movesidewaysto…climb/crawloutof…drillaholein…pull/push…bestuck/trappedinthecrack/gaprubthesurface…ThetiringtripWhenHowWhoWhatWhyWhere
Sundaylastyearthegroup(we)caveexploredtriedtorescuemeIwasstuckin…Para.1Para.2Para.3-4ThehelpfulteammatesTheexperiencedleaderReadingforplot
We
I
hikedfor______________abseiledthroughan_________movedfor___________acoupleofhoursicywaterfallfourhourstired,wet,cold
Plot1:ThetiringtripReadingforplot
Luca
Steve
_________3caversgotstuckinthecrack10minspullingandpushinghim
wasfreeneededto_______another15mins_______himtoanexitguidingguidingleavetiredpatientexperiencedPlot2:TheexperiencedleaderReadingforplot
Thegroup
Iput…downmove…sidewaysdrop…to…didn’tmakeitencouragedmetriedagain,didn’twantto____________…triedeverythingto…arm________,backandchest_______….JimtriedtopullmebackblockingJim’sescapeweakenedtouchingtrapped,feet_______,leftarm________...inconveniencehangingsupportedconsideratehelpfulkindPlot3:Thehelpfulteammatesdisappointed,worried,nervousupset,frustratedcold,harassed,scaredguiltyworried,upset,discouraged,depressedReadingforplot
Thegroup
Iput…downmove…sidewaysdrop…to…didn’tmakeitencouragedmetriedagain,didn’twantto_____________…triedeverythingto…arm________,backandchest_______….JimtriedtopullmebackblockingJim’sescapeweakenedtouchingtrapped,feet_______,leftarm________...inconveniencehangingsupportedconsideratehelpfulkindThehelpfulteammatesPlot3:disappointed,worried,nervousupset,frustratedcold,harassed,scaredworried,upsetguilty,discouraged,depressedMoreexpressionstodescribenegativeemotions:ThefaiththatIcouldmakeitalivefadedgradually.Ifeltmoreandmorefrustratedandhopeless.Itcastacloudofgloomovermyface.Iforcedasmileatthisdarkandhopelessmoment.…Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Fearslowlycreptuponme.Afloodoffearwelledupme.Withfearandpanicoverwhelmingme,I……Myface/eyeslitupwiththehopeof…Itfilledmymindwithabrightlight.Myeyestwinkledwithexcitement.Tearsofjoyfloodedmyeyes.Iletout/breathedasighofrelief.…Moreexpressionstodescribepositiveemotions:LucagotstuckinacrackI
How?Theme?Itwastheteamworkthathelpedmeout.thegrouptherescueteamTip2:Haveagoodunderstandingofthestorybeforewriting.Readingforwriting
Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Paragraph2:Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Didthejacketsmakemewarm?HowdidIfeelatthatmoment?Whatdidthegroupdoforme?DidJimdosomethingforme?DidLucadosomething?HowdidIfeelintheend?Howdidtherescueteamsaveme?Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.________________________________________________________Writing
thegroup/JimIpossiblefeelingspossibleactionsunderlinedwordscomfort,encourage,tellstories/jokes,pull,push,…cried,fallasleep,pray,…cold,tired,harassed,scared,hopeless,…Jim,Luca,encouraged,feet,gap,minutes,trapped,…worried,…Writing
therescueteam/LucaIpossiblefeelingspossibleactionsunderlinedwordsParagraph2:Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.____________________________hopeful,thrilled,…lightup,move,pull,crawl,thank,…examine,remove,shift,drill,polish,…calm,…Luca,climbed,minutes,feet,makeit,ThunderCanyonCave,…Tip3:Focusonthegivensentencesandunderlinedwords.Assessing
对第五档(21-25)作文的描述:1.与所给短文融洽度高,与所提供各段落、开头语衔接合理。2.内容丰富,应用了5个以上短文中标出的关键词语。3.所使用语法结构和词汇丰富、准确,可能有些许错误,但完全不影响意义表达;4.有效地使用了语句间的连接成分,使所续写短文结构紧凑;Keepinmind:1.Positive2.Closelyrelated(betweenparagraphsandwithinparagraphs)3.Specificwordsorvividdescription4.Varioussentencepatterns5.UnderlinedwordsTip4:Keepthemarkingcriterioninmindwhilewriting.Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.Nevertheless,theywereofnouseformetowarmup.FeelingIcouldn’tmakeitalive,Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Jim,whoseescapewasblockedbyme,wassurprisinglycalm.AsIwasreadytobearhisstormyblame,hebegantocrackjokestocomfortme.Withtheencouragementfromthegroup,IfirmlybelievedLucacouldfindsomeonetorescueme.Assessing
closelyrelatedspecificwordsandvividdescriptionPolishing
Paragraph2:
Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.WhenIsawthem,Ibreathedfreely.Therescueteamusedtheirtechniquetosavemefromthegap.Isawmyparentsneartherescueteam.Atthattimetearswelledupmyeyes.Afterthisexperience,Iknewthatathinbodyisimportantwhenyougothroughagap.Howtoimproveit?Paragraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.Nevertheless,theywereofnouseformetowarmup.FeelingIcouldn’tmakeitalive,Iwasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Jim,whoseescapewasblockedbyme,wassurprisinglycalm.AsIwasreadytobearhisstormyblame,hebegantocrackjokestocomfortme.Withtheencouragementfromthegroup,IfirmlybelievedLucacouldfindsomeonetorescueme.Assessing
closelyrelatedspecificwordsandvividdescriptionParagraph1:Withtheriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.Nevertheless,theywereofnouseformetowarmup.FeelingIcouldn’tmakeitalive,I
wasseizedbyastrongsenseofpanic.Jim,whoseescapewasblockedbyme,wassurprisinglycalm.AsIwasreadytobearhisstormyblame,hebegantocrackjokestocomfortme.Withtheencouragementfromthegroup,IfirmlybelievedLucacouldfindsomeonetorescueme.closelyrelatedspecificwordsandvividdescriptionAssessing
Polishing
Paragraph2:
Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.WhenIsawthem,Ibreathedfreely.Therescueteamusedtheirtechniquetosavemefromthegap.Isawmyparentsneartherescueteam.Atthattimetearswelledupmyeyes.Afterthisexperience,Iknewthatathinbodyisimportantwhenyougothroughagap.Atsightofthem,myeyeslitupwithhope.Itdawnedonmethatwhatreallycountedwastheteamwork.Therescueteamusedtheirspecifictoolstorubthesurfaceofthestonewallstofreemyhips.AppreciationWiththeriskofthelowbodytemperature,thegroupsuppliedmewiththeirownjackets.However,theyservednopurpose.Frightenedandexhausted,Iwasdriftedinandoutofadreamlikestate.Jimtriedtocrackjokestokeepmeawake.Astimewentby,thefaiththatIcouldmakeitalivefadedgradually.Noticingit,Lucadecidedtoturntoarescueteamforhelp.Aftereighthours,Lucafoundtherescueteam.Ontheirarrival,thet
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