独立写作2正文段落扩展市公开课一等奖省赛课微课金奖课件

托福独立写作正文段落扩展1/105今日内容全班：2:00-4:30p.m.1）托福独立写作正文段落概述2）列举法段落扩展3）分类法段落扩展4）限时段落写作练习（10minutes）单独学员：4:35---4:50p.m.托福基础写作一补课2/105目标1）了解英语段落经典结构2）按照某种逻辑次序将主题句扩展成段落3）措辞和句法富有亮点3/105段落主题句主题句解释论证句言简意赅，高度概括主题句更清楚而通俗解释依据主题句特点，选择某种逻辑思绪进行扩展4/105好段落特征Atypicalexample:Topic:Advantagesofgettingagoodeducation(5minutesoffreewriting)5/105FindingitsmeritsGettingagoodeducationhasmanyadvantages.First,agoodeducationmeanspersonalenrichment.Awell-educatedpersonismoreknowledgeableandcivilized.Hislifeisalsomoremeaningful.Second,withagoodeducationalbackground,onehasmoreopportunitiestofindabetterjob.Finally,armedwithwhateducationoffers,oneislikelytomakeagreatercontributiontosocietyandplayaroleinhelpingsocietytoadvancemorerapidly.6/105LogicMapoftheParagraph主题句（段落只统帅）：gettingagoodeducation…advantages.论证句1（统帅帐下大将1）：personalenrichment论证句2（统帅帐下大将2）：personalenrichment论证句3（统帅帐下大将3）：greatercontributiontosociety7/105PurposeTopicSentenceSupportingSentences8/105一、段落统一性一个段落应该只说明一个问题，或一个问题某首先；应该只叙述一件事情，或一件事情某一个阶段。也就是说，一个段落内各个句子必须隶属于一个中心，任何游离于中心思想以外句子都是不可取。9/105一个好段落应该含有统一性。统一性就是一个中心思想统领整个段落。每个细节都应支持主题句，不应有没有关细节。为了支持主题，要尽可能多地提供细节，但又要防止滥用细节。下列图是一个有统一性段落结构图。 主题句(topicsentence）

_______SupportingSentence1__________SupportingSentence2________________SupportingSentence3_____________________SupportingSentence410/105例文：Millionsofyearsago,AustraliawaslinkedtoAsiabyalandbridge.Thenanearthquakecausedthelandbridgetosink.Thesearushedin,andAustraliabecameanisland.Later,thisislandbecameaBritishcolony.ManyanimalsthatoncewanderedbackandforthacrossthelandbridgewereleftinAustralia.Andkangarooswereamongthem.Thoughtheywerekilledoffbylargeanimalsinotherplaces,theywereabouttosurviveinAustralia.这一段讲是远古时期澳大利亚，当初连人类都没有，但然无须提它以后沦为英国殖民地事了。此句应删掉。11/105howtowritethetopicsentenceThreepoints:(1)atopicsentencemustbeacompletesentence,ratherthanasentencefragment.(2)atopicsentencecomesintwoparts,topicwords(indicatingobjecttobediscussed)andexpressionofthesis(indicatingtheparticularaspectofthethesis).E.g.TheWomenMovementhashadseveraleffectsontheEnglishlanguage.(3)atopicsentencecanbeneithertoogeneralnortoospecific.12/105howtowritethetopicsentencePositionofthetopicsentence:Topicsentencecanbeputinthebeginning.13/105二、段落完整性一个段落主题思想靠发展句来实现，假如只有主题句而没有发展句来深入交待和充实，就不能组成一个完整段落。14/105

InmyEnglishstudy,Ihavemanydifficulties.Myfirstdifficultyisthatmyvocabularyisnotlarge.TheseconddifficultyIhaveisthatIcannotwritewell.Thethirddifficultyisthatmylisteningcomprehensionisnotgoodenough.NowIhaveaplantostudyEnglishwell.15/105主题句：Ihavemanydifficulties.发展句：详细说明困难Myfirstdifficulty…;Theseconddifficulty…;Thethirddifficulty….结尾句：NowIhaveaplan…篇章结构：16/105分析：本段落看似完整，有头有尾。但因为缺乏实质内容—即对学英语困难原因分析，文章显得空洞无物；另外，结尾句讲到了plan,详细内容有没有交待，给人留下话好像没说完感觉。修改以下：17/105三、段落连贯性连贯性包含意连—内在逻辑型；和形连—使用过渡词语、过渡句等方式。二者经常不可分割。只有形连而没有意连，句子之间没有内在有机联络；反之，只有意连而没有形连，有时行文就不够流畅。18/105怎样取得连贯性提议1）使用同一时态假如随意而毫无理由地改变时态，那么不论作者连句技巧多么高超，段落也不可能取得连贯性。在写作时，能够使用现在时或过去时。选取哪一个取决于作者处理材料方式。19/1052)使用某种逻辑次序惯用逻辑次序有：1）时间次序2）空间次序3）主要性次序4）熟悉度次序20/1053)使用连接成份使用一些连接词和短语，重复一些关键词，能够大大增加段落连贯性。一些连接词、短语和关键词能够起粘着物作用，把各部分连接起来，使句子间关系愈加清楚。21/105连接成份主要有以下三种：a．连接词语b．代词:代词用于提醒读者注意其先行词，以此把相关部分连接起来。c．重复关键词语22/105示范段落①Untilrecentlydaydreamingwasviewedasawasteoftime．②Oritwasconsideredanunhealthyescapefromreallifeanditsduties．③Butnowsomepeoplearetakingafreshlookatdaydreaming．④Anditmaybethatmorepeoplearesufferingfromalackofdaydreamingthanaresufferingfromtoomuchofit．连接词连接词连接词连接词23/105段落扩展通用模式四步法24/105四步法第一步：段落主题句/论据（言简意赅）第二步：主题句扩展解释（成熟严密）第三步：逻辑扩展（如举例）（泛/精：理论，数据，常识，名人经历、个人轶事）第四步：总结（来自举例，呼应首句）25/105举例1Topic:Nowadays,peopleputtoomuchemphasisonpersonalappearanceandfashion.Theme:Disagree(ithasbenefits)26/105[1]Tobeginwith,havinggoodappearancecanbevaluabletoanindividualwhenheislookingforajob.[2]Manytimes,thewaythatapersonlooksanddressescanhelphimgethired.Afterall,aninterviewer’sfirstimpressionisoftenbaseduponaperson’slooks.So,ifanindividualignoreshisappearanceandfashion,hemightnotbesuccessfulduringtheinterviewprocess.[3]Myolderbrotherhadanexperiencejustlikethis.Afewmonthsafterhegothiscurrentjob,hisbosstoldmybrotherthathehadbeencompetingagainstawomenforthejob.However,becausemybrotherlookedmoreprofessional,hisbossdecidedtohirehim,somybrothergotthejob.[4]Takingspecialcareofone’sappearancecancertainlyhelpone’scareer.27/105

[1]Next,ifapersonemphasizeshisappearance,hecanimprovehisself-esteem.[2]Manypeoplesufferfromlowesteemandalackofself-confidence.However,peoplewhohavegoodbodiesandwearfashionableclothesoftenfeelbetteraboutthemselves.Theirappearanceactuallygivesthemmoreconfidence.[3]Again,myolderbrotherisanexcellentexample.Hewasalwaysoverweightandveryshyinmiddleschool.Healsohadfewfriendsandwasnotverypopular.However,hestartedpayingmoreattentiontohisshellandalmostimmediatelybecameamoreconfident,outgoingperson.Thischangemadehimmorepopularatschooltoo,sohestartedfeelingbetterabouthimself.[4]Itseemscleartomethatpeoplearehappierwhentheytakecareoftheirappearanceandareconfidentinhowtheywork.28/105举例2Topic:Itisbettertotakeatripbyoneselfthantotakeagrouptourwithguidance.Theme:Takingagrouptour29/105[1]First,grouptoursplantravelers’entireitineraries.[2]Becausetheirtriphasalreadybeenarranged,peopledonothavetoworryaboutwheretheyaregoingorhowtheyaregettingthere.Theycansimplyrelax,enjoytheirtrip,andnotgetstressedoutaboutanything.[3]Forexample,myfamilyoncetookapackagetourtoChina.Thetravelagencyarrangedeverything.Ittookcareofthehotelreservations,transportation,andsightseeing.Myfamilydidnothavetoworryaboutanything.Wejustlookedattheschedulethetravelagencyhadprovidedandfollowedit.thankstothetravelagency,wecouldjustrelaxandenjoyourentiretrip.Thismadethingseasieronmyfathersincehedidnothavetoworryeverysingleminuteaboutwherewewouldgonext.Allinall,wehadagreattrip.[4]Grouptourstaketheanxietyofdailyplanningoutoftravelingandlettravelersenjoytheirvacationswithoutanystress.30/105TimetohaveatryTopic1:Itisbettertotakethemostdifficultandchallengingclassesinuniversityoratcollegeevenifmeansthatyouprobablywillnotgettopgradesinthem.Theme:challenging…31/105OutliningLearnmoreanddevelopbetterstudyskillsAchievemoreasastudentsandindividual32/105

[1]Firstofall,IcanlearnmoreanddevelopbetterstudyskillsifItakedifficultandchallengingclasses.[2]Inthoseclasses,theprofessorswillbemuchmoredemandingandexpectthebestfromtheirstudents.[3]Forexample,Ioncetookamathclasswithateacherwhowasinfamousforbeingreallytough.Shedefinitelyliveduptoherreputation.Ihadloadsofhomeworkeverynight,andtheclasswasastruggleattimes.However,Igotusedtotheheavycourseload,and,whiletough,theteacherwasfair,andIlearnedmoreinthatmathclassthaninanyotheroneIhadevertaken.[4]Takingchallengingcoursesisdefinitelyagoodwaytolearnmore.33/105

[1]Moreover,bysettinghighergoalsformyself,IcanachievemoreasastudentandindividualthanIwouldifIsetlowgoalsornoneatall.[2]Competingtoughcoursesregardlessofmyfinalgradeswillincreasemyconfidenceandexperience.[3]Lastyear,IenrolledinaFrenchlanguagecourseforthefirsttime.Iwasnervousatfirst,andthecoursewasdemanding.But,intime,Idevelopedalotofconfidenceinthisclass.Thisyear,IamcontinuingwithFrench,anditisbecomingmucheasierformebecauseofmyexperience.Tome,itistheexperienceandconfidencethatcounts,notgettingaperfectgrade.[4]Takinghardercourseswillclearlyoutweightheeasyones.34/105HaveanothertryTopic:Ateacher’sabilitytorelatewellwithhisorherstudentsismoreimportantthantheabilitytogivethemknowledge.Theme:Agree,relatewellwithstudents35/10536/105

[1]Thesedays,teachershavetoknownotonlyhowtogettheirstudents’attentionbutalsohowtokeepaholdofitinordertoteachthem.[2]Theworldhaschangedverymuchinthepastdecade,andstudentsthesedaysarenotinterestedinthesamethingstheyweretenortwentyyearsago.[3]Forexample,weliveinanagedominatedbyelectronics,particularlycomputers.Moststudentsmyageknowhowtouseallofthelatestgadgets.Unfortunately,manyteachersaretechnologicallyinept,sotheyhavedifficultyrelatingtostudentsthatway.Mostofthemneverincorporatetechnologyintotheirclasses.Instead,theyjustlecture,whichmakestheirclassesboring.Someofthem,however,usecomputersforthingslikePowerPointpresentations,whichreallyhelpstogetmoststudents’attention.[4]Teachersthatcanrelatetotheirstudentsinareasliketechnologyaredefinitelymoreabletokeeptheirstudents’attention.37/105PracticeforconsolidationTopic:Itismoreimportanttouselandforhumanneedssuchasfarming,housing,andindustrythantosaveitforendangeredanimals.Theme:savelandforhumans38/105[1]Tobeginwith,humansneedtouseallofthelandtheycangainaccessto.[2]Astheplanet’spopulationcontinuestogrow,peopleneedtomoveontolandthatwaspreviouslyoccupiedonlybyanimals.[3]Inmanycountries,therearelargenumbersofcitieswithoveramillionpeople.Infact,somecities,likeTokyo,Seoul,andNewYork,havepopulationsofovertenmillion.Thesecitiesareovercrowded,somanypeopleneedtomoveoutofthemandontonewlands.Whiletheymaybemovingtolandsthatareinhabitedbyendangeredanimals,thewelfareofhumansismuchmoreimportantthanthatofafewendangeredanimals.[4]PeoplehavetotakecareofEarth’sexpandingpopulation,andthebestwaytoenablepeopletolivemorecomfortablyistomoveontolandsinhabitedbyanimals.39/105逻辑扩展方法1）罗列发2）分类法3）定义法4）举例法5）因果法40/105

I.罗列法Listing：

Theimportanceoftakingoutdoorexercisescannotbeoveremphasized.

Tobeginwith,…Inaddition,…Finally,…

41/105Example:

ThisbookwillhaveamajorimpactonbothpoliticsandeconomicsinChina.Inpolitics,…

Ineconomics,…

42/105Example:Readingextensivelyisobviouslyofgreatbenefitinlearninganewlanguage.

Foronething,…Foranother,…43/105逻辑词连接第一（首先）：Firstandforemost,Tobeginwith,tostartwith,inthefirstplace,Foronething,第二（其次）：inaddition,furthermore,moreover,whatismore,第三（最终）：Lastbutnotleast,moreimportantly44/105逻辑连接词必须一起出现短语：Inthefirstplace,Inthesecondplace,Inthethirdplace,Foronething,Foranother,45/105逻辑连接词不过（转折）：otherwise,nevertheless,同时：meanwhile=inthemeantime所以：asaresult,accordingly,consequently,therefore,46/105逻辑连接词总之：

tosumup,allinall,generallyspeaking,ingeneral结论:toconclude,inconclusion,inshort,

47/105PracticeTopic:Stayinguplatecausestrouble(3points;80words)48/105HaveatryAdvantages/drawbacksofonline-shopping49/105II.分类法Classification表示分类惯用词语动词：bedividedinto,beclassifiedinto,begroupedinto,fallinto

名词：kind,sort,category,group,class,type50/105分类法段落主题句：e.g.总体来说，依据地理位置不一样，酒店能够分为四大类。总来说：Generallyspeaking不一样地理位置：differentlocations酒店：hotel51/105总体来说，依据地理位置不一样，酒店能够分为四大类。Generallyspeaking,hotelscanbeclassifiedinto4groupsbasedontheirdifferentlocations.52/105e.g.中国父母对独生儿女态度不一样，能够分为三类。独生儿女：onlychildinthefamily不一样态度：differentattitudesDictator,democracy,spoiling53/1052、中国父母对独生儿女态度不一样，能够分为三类。InChina,parentscanbedividedinto3categories

inlightoftheirdifferentattitudesontheonlychildinthefamily.

54/105PracticeTopic:ClassificationofcollegestudentsKnowledge-orientedAbility-orientedFun-oriented55/105HaveatryClassificationoffriends56/105III.定义法Definition正式定义：

formof…isaspeciesof…which/who…kindof57/105e.g.1、牙医是经过专业训练去护理人类牙齿医生。牙医：dentist护理：treat经过专业训练：beprofessionallytrained58/105牙医是经过专业训练去护理人类牙齿医生。

Adentistisakindofdoctorwhoisprofessionallytrainedtotreatpeople’steeth.59/105铜是一个轻易成形软性金属。

铜：copper金属：metal

60/105铜是一个轻易成形软性金属。Copperisasortofsoftmetalwhichiseasilyshaped.61/105学术定义：

…isakindofsciencewhich………是一个…科学。62/105地理学能够定义为研究地球表面科学。地理学：geography研究：study地球表面：thesurfaceoftheearth

63/105地理学能够定义为研究地球表面科学。Geographyisakindofsciencewhichstudiesthesurfaceoftheearth.64/105语言学能够定义为研究人类语言科学。语言学：linguistics人类语言：thelanguageofhumanrace

65/105语言学能够定义为研究人类语言科学。

Linguisticsisakindofsciencewhichstudiesthelanguageofhumanrace.66/105注意定义之后，往往要和其它论证方法相结合，如举例，如列举等。67/105PracticeTopic:Whatissuccess?Career,family,morality68/105IV.举例法Examples例证惯用表示：Asanillustration,Acaseinpointisthat…Totake…asanexample,… Toconsider…asanexample,…69/105例证惯用表示：Forexample,Forinstance,Asthepresentsituationshowsinourcountry,…70/105数据或事例支持1）表示“科学研究表明”Accordingtoaresearch,…(Scientific)researchshows/indicates/suggests71/105数据或事例支持2)表示“科学家认为”Accordingtoscientistson某学科,…Scientistson某学科

believethat…地理学：Geography化学：Chemistry数学：Mathematics医学：Medicine生物学：Biology物理学：Physics建筑学：Architecture航空学：Aeronautics72/105文学：Literature教育：Education；Pedagogics法学：Law经济：Economics政治：Politics宗教：Religion音乐：Music传媒：MassMedia旅游：Tourism哲学：Philosophy73/105数据或事例支持3）表示“数据表明”AccordingtostatisticsStatisticsshow/indicate/suggestthat74/105Statisticsshowthatthetropicalrainforests（热带雨林）ofAmazonRiverwerecutdownatarateof14millionhectares(公顷)eachyear.75/105数据或事例支持4）表示“调查表明”Surveys(Arecentsurvey)show(indicate,suggest)that…76/105数据或事例支持5)引导事实Itisawell-knownfactthat…Itis(widely)believedthat…Itisawidely-heldbeliefthat…Itistruethat…Thereisnodenyingthat…77/105e.g.不可否定是，互联网是人类历史上一项伟大创造。78/105e.g.ThereisnodenyingthatInternetisagreatinventioninmankind’shistory.79/105数据或事例支持6）表示“比如/比如”like,suchas,forexample,say80/105e.g.

很多来自于中国年轻运动员，比如刘翔，在奥运会上享受很高声誉。Tips:比如刘翔:sayLiuXiang81/105e.g.

很多来自于中国年轻运动员，比如刘翔，在奥运会上享受很高声誉。

ManyyoungathletesfromChina,sayLiuXiang,enjoyahighreputationintheOlympicGames.82/105e.g.用suchas造句我们都羡慕甚至嫉妒那些取得巨大成就人，比如成龙和李连杰那些明星。Tips:羡慕：admire嫉妒：envy取得巨大成就：attaingreatachievements成龙：JackyChen,李连杰：JetLi.83/105

Wealladmireevenenvythosewhohaveattainedgreatachievements,suchasJackyChen,JetLi.84/105

Wealladmireevenenvythosewhohaveattainedgreatachievements,suchthosefamousstarsasJackyChen,JetLi.85/105举某物为例Takesomethingforexample某物是好例子Somethingisaperfectexample.Somethingisanillustratingexample.86/105举例思维练习：1、常做家务一个好处举例2、好朋友对我影响最大举例3、成功一项品质举例4、我喜欢动画片一个原因举例5、我想回到儿童时代一个原因举例87/105CauseandEffect因果法88/105ExampleTopic:Sciencecandogoodtomankind,butitcandoevilaswell.89/105段落扩展

Sciencecandogoodtomankind,butitcandoevilaswell.sciencedogooddoevilS-1G-1G-2G-nE-1E-2E-n90/105段落扩展

(1)Sciencecandogoodtomankind,butitcandoevilaswell.(2)Whenitiswiselyused,itwillbringbenefit.(3)Forexample,atomicenergycanhelpusgenerateelectricity.(4)However,ifitiswronglyused,itsdestructivepowerwillbeuncontrollableandterrible.(5)Itcanclaimthousandsandthousandsoflivesinasplitsecond.91/105段落扩展主题句一级扩展一级扩展一级扩展二级扩展二级扩展二级扩展二级扩展二级扩展二级扩展衔接过渡

(1)Sciencecandogoodtomankind,butitcandoevilaswell.(2)Whenitiswiselyused,itwillbringbenefit.(3)Forexample,atomicenergycanhelpusgenerateelectricity.(4)However,ifitiswronglyused,itsdestructivepowerwillbeuncontrollableandterrible.(5)Itcanclaimthousandsandthousandsoflivesinasplitsecond.sciencedoesgood,doesevil

bringbenefit

destructivepower

…

atomicenergy

claimlives

…

…

…

…

衔接过渡衔接过渡衔接过渡衔接过渡92/105因果法（CauseandEffect）因果法经惯用以阐述原因，回答“为何”这类问题，分析事物发展前因后果，也多见于说明文和叙述文。因果关系普遍性决定了因果关系复杂性，通常因果关系模式有一因一果、一因多果、一果多因和多果多因等，而以因果方式扩展段落时通常可采取先因后果或先果后因一因多果或一果多因模式，其中多因或多果用通常以枚举方式列举。例：93/105Fourpatternsofcause-effectrelationshipSingle-cause-single-effectpatternSingle-cause-many-effectspatternMany-causes-single-effectpatternCausalchainpattern94/105EffectoneCauseEffecttwoEffectthreeTreediagramofsingle-cause-manyeffects95/105Outline1:(side-by-sidepattern)1.Thecause:Iwentbacktocollegeaftertenyearsofbeingahousewife.2.Negativeeffects:a.Myhusbandfeelsworried;b.Mychildrenhavelesscarefromtheirmotherthanbefore;c.Idonothaveenoughtimetotakecareofthefamily.3.Positiveeffects:a.Myhusbandislearningtolookafterhischildren;b.Mychildrenarelearningtobemoreindependent;c.Iamlearningalotandbecomingmoreintelligent.96/105Outline2:(point-by-pointmethod)Thecause:Iwentbacktocollegeaftertenyearsofbeingahousewife.2.Theeffectsonmyhusband:Myhusbandfeelsworried,butheislearningtolookafterhischildren.3.TheeffectsonmychildrenThoughmychildrenhavelesscarefromtheirmotherthanbefore,theyarelearningtobemoreindependent.4.TheeffectsonmyselfIdonothaveenoughtimetotakecareofthefamily.However,Iamlearningalotandbecomingmoreintelligent.97/105CauseoneEffectCausetwoCausethreeTreediagramofmany-causes-single-effect98/105Effect:

Smokingcigarettescanbeanexpensivehabit.Causes:1)Thecostofcigarettesishigh.2)Thehiddencostofclean-upofclothingstuffs,furnitureandcarpetishigh.99/105Treediagramofcausalchain:(cause1)

(effect1)=(cause2)