从《家有儿女》和《摩登家庭》看中美家庭教育的差异

ChapterOneIntroductionThischapterdescribestheimportanceoffamilyeducationandbrieflyintroducesthetwofilmandtelevisionworks,HomewithKidsandModernFamily,tofacilitatethedevelopmentofthefollowingtext.1.1TheImportanceofFamilyEducationEducationisasocialactivitythatnurturespeopleandisafundamentalwayoftransmittingsocialculture,lifeexperienceandsocialexperience.Familyisthestartingpointandthebaseforeducatingpeople.Familyisthefirstschooloflifeandparentsaretheirchildren’sfirstteachers,thefoundationandessentialcomplementtoschoolandsocialeducation.Familyeducationistheeducationalinfluenceofparentsortheeldersinthefamilyonthegrowthanddevelopmentofchildrenandyoungpeopleinthecourseoffamilyinteraction.Itisthemostessentialpartofthewholeeducationalprocess.Themoststrikingfeatureoffamilyeducationisitsinitiatorynature,asitisinthefamilythatchildrenfirstestablishtheirvagueworldviewandvalues.Thegoaloffamilyeducationshouldbetoensurethechild’shealthyphysicalandmentaldevelopmentbeforetheyentersocietyforgroupeducationandtolaythefoundationsforkindergartenandschooleducation.Familyeducationfocusesisoncharactereducation,anditisessentialtodevelopgoodmoralcharacterandgoodbehavioralhabitsinchildren.Modernparentsbelievethattheeducationoftheirchildrencomesfirst.Theydotheirbesttoprovidetheirchildrenwiththeacademiceducationtheythinkwillhelpthem,regardlessoftheircircumstances.Yetoccasionally,theyneglecthomeeducationandsometimesforgettoconsiderwhattheirchildrenbelieve.Oureducationoftenemphasisestheimportanceofmoraleducation,soachild’seducationshouldbeacombinationofhomeandschooleducation,andparentsshouldbeawareoftheimportanceandsignificanceofhomeeducation.Familyeducationalsosignificantlyimpactsonachild’sintellectualdevelopmentandacademicperformance.Thefamilyisachild’sfirstschool.Parentscanstarttheirchildren’searlyeducationbyprovidingthemwithappropriatelearningresourcesandeducationalmethodstonurturetheirinterestsandlearningabilities,layingasolidfoundationfortheirchildren’sfuturelearning.Inshort,genuineloveforchildrenistogivethemthecorrectbehaviourandideas,andasourceofmotivationandstrength.Asparents,wemustrespectourchildren,understandthem,careforthem,thinkfromtheirpointofview,andempathisewiththem.Atthesametime,parentsmustdoanexcellentjobofbuildingtheirliteracy,focusingonfamilyharmony,teachingthembyexample,playingtheroleofarolemodel,helpingthemtocorrectlyanalyseandidentifyvarioussocialphenomena,passingonpositiveenergy,helpingthemtoestablishacorrectworldview,outlookonlifeandvalues,buildingasenseofrules,developinggoodTheyalsohelpchildrentodevelopacorrectworldview,outlookonlifeandvalues,establishasenseofrulesanddevelopgoodbehaviouralhabits,andteachthemtheabilitytolovesothattheycanlearntolovetheirparents,themselves,others,societyandthecountry.Inthisprocess,parentsshouldguidetheirchildrencorrectly,strikingabalancebetweenstrictrequirementsandcareandlovesothattheycangrowupwithloveintheirheartsandlightintheireyesandgrowupstrong,healthyandhappy1.2IntroductionofHomewithKidsandModernFamilyHomewithKidsisamainlandChinesechildren’ssitcomthatusesthereunionoftwodivorcedfamiliesastheplatformforitsstory.Intheformofasitcom,itrecordsthejourneyoftheheartsofparentsandchildren,tellingaseriesofstoriesaboutparentsandchildrengrowinguptogether,fulloflifeinterest,inahumorous,wittyandlight-heartedatmosphere,subtleexpressionoftheChinesewayoffamilyeducation.UsetheuniqueChineseculturalbackground,habitsofthought,andbehaviourtoexpresstheconceptoffamilyeducationresonateswithallparentsandchildreninChina.ModernFamilyisapseudo-documentarysitcomaboutthreedifferentAmericanfamilies:atypicalparentwiththreechildren,agaycouplewhoadoptadaughterfromVietnamtoformafamilyofthreeanda60-year-oldmanwhomarriesahotColombianbeautywithafat11-year-oldson.Thecontentcoversemotions,homeschooling,relationshipsandcultureclashesinavividandrealisticplotthatdemonstratestheoriginalAmericanwayoflifeandhomeschooling.ChapterTwoAnAnalysisoftheDifferencesBetweenChineseandAmericanFamilyEducationinHomewithKidsandModernFamilyThischapterprovidesthedifferencesbetweenChineseandAmericanfamilyeducationintermsoftherelationshipbetweenparentsandchildren,howparentsraisetheirchildren,theirattitudestowardsearlylove,andtheirrespectfortheirchildren’swishescanbeseeninHomewithKidsandModernFamily.Byunderstandingthepsychologicaljourneyofbeingaparentandachild,parentsandchildrencanunderstandeachother,understandtheirparents’goodintentions,andunderstandtheirchildren’sthoughts.Throughcomparison,ChineseandAmericanfamiliescanlearnfromeachother’sexperiencesandmakeupfortheshortcomingsoftheirfamilyeducationmethod,andalsomakeparentsawareoftheimportanceoffamilyeducationandoptimizetheirfamilyeducationmodel,whichwillhelptheirchildrengrowupmore,cultivatetheircreativespiritandpracticalskills,andletthemgrowupstrongandhappy.2.1DifferentParent-ChildRelationshipsTheparent-childrelationshipisaninterpersonalsystembasedonfamilylife,whichexistsbetweengenerationsandismainlycharacterizedbytheessentialelementsofupbringing,parenting,andsupport.Agoodparent-childrelationshipisessentialinfamilylife.Agoodparent-childrelationshipisofgreatimportancefortheeducationanddevelopmentoftheyoungergenerationandthehealthydevelopmentofsocialrelations.Thissectionallowsparentstobettermanagetheirparent-childrelationshipbycomparingtherelationshipbetweenparentsandchildreninAmericaandChina.2.1.1ChineseFamily:PaternalisticInChina,thefamilyisseenasateam,withparentsandrules.Parentsrepresentauthorityandareattheheartofthefamily,andmostparentswanttheirchildrentobeproductive.InFamilyGuy,LiuMeiisatypicaltraditionalChineseparent.Ontheonehand,sheisshort-tempered,radicalandarbitrary,pooratcommunicatingandteachingherchildrenpoorly,andlovestojudgethembytheirachievements.Ontheotherhand,sheisveryresponsibleandcaresofthefamilyineveryway.LiuMeiisverymuchinlovewithLiuXing,whileherloveforXiaXueandXiaYuisalsoequaltothatofLiuXing.LiuMeidoesnottreatLiuXingdifferentlybecauseXiaYuandXiaXuearenotherchildren.LiuXing’smischievousandlivelypersonalitymakesLiuMeiverystrictwithhereducation.LiuMei’sshortcomingsinLiuXing’seducationaretoprovideasuppressiveeducation,awayofeducationthatwearsdownindividuality.ThemostcommonthingLiuMeisaystoLiuXingdailyis:“Haveyoubeennaughtyagain?”“YouwaituntilIbeatyouup.”BecauseofLiuXing’spooracademicperformance,LiuMeidisapprovedofeverythingLiuXingthought.WhenLiuXingdidnotdowellinherexams,LiuMeiwouldcriticizeher,andinseverecases,shewouldhavetoraiseherhandtobeatLiuXing.WhenLiuXing’sgradesimproved,LiuMeididnotpraiseandencouragehim,andthewayshetreatedLiuXingwouldmakeLiuXingfeelthatshewasjustabadchildwithbadgrades,suppressingLiuXing’sideaofmakingprogress,makingLiuXingloseconfidenceinherself,andalsoaffectingthedevelopmentofLiuXing’spersonality.LiuXingandhisclassmateMousebothfailedthestateexam,andthetestpaperwasaskedtobesignedbytheirparents,andbecausetheywereafraidofbeingbeatenup,thetwoofthemmimickedeachother’sparents’handwritingandsignedit.Theteachersawthemtoinvitetheirparents.Linning’sparentsforbidhimtohaveanymorecontactwithLiuXing.Anotherexamcameup,andundertremendouspressure,theycheatedandwereinvitedtotheirparentsagain.LiuXinggotabeatingwhileMouseranawayfromhome.Linning’sparentsaretypicalChineseparentswhobelievethatstrictfathersproducefilialsonsandthatnobeatingistoomuch.WhentheyfoundLinninglater,theydidnotcommunicatewithhimcalmly,orcareabouthismentalstate,andhisparentsscoldedhimagain.2.1.2AmericanFamily:FreeMannyisamatureandsexylittlechubbykid.Heissometimesmorerationalandmaturethananadult,withoutlosingthemischievousnessandinnocenceofachild.GloriaisfromColombia.Shehasasexyfigure,awieghtyaccent,andaperfectshot.Sheisveryindependentandpersonable,stickstohertraditions,loveshersons,andisdevotedtoJay,agoodwifeandmotherwithapassionateandhotpersonality.GloriadoesherbesttoencourageManny,herchildwhodoesnotquitefitin,eventhoughheisplainlookinganddoesnothavethemasculinequalitiesofaboyorthequalitiesthatattractgirls,toshowhimthatheisnomatchforanyone.Inafamilyofalmostgeeks,Alex’sintelligencesetsherapartfromtherest.Withheroldersisterandyoungerbrotherasherfoils,Alexshowsthatsheismature,unlikeManny’steenagematurityofmind.Hermaturityisreflectedinherstrongself-positioning,andsoonafterherdebut,Alexshowstheaudiencethatshehasgoals,areasonableplanforherfuture,andistakingactiontowardsthem.Philisveryfashion-conscious,likestotrynewthings,andusestheinternetandsocialmediaalot,andtheyarealsoveryopenandabletocommunicateopenlywiththeirchildren,understandingandrespectingtheirthoughtsandfeelings.Theyalsohaveagreatsenseofhumourandlovetojokearoundandkeepthefamilyhappyandlaughing.InPhil’sfamily,evenAlex,agiftedchild,istreatedequallyinthehome.DadPhilevenfeelsheismostestrangedfromAlex,soherunstocollegetobondwithher.AfewtheModernFamilieshavetheirpassionsandhobbiesthattheyadheretobesidestheirchildren.Carlieroncestormedoutofthehouseinafitofmadness,complainingabouthowlongherthreechildrenwouldbeinthehouse,lookingforwardtothetimewhenthekidswouldmoveoutontheirownsoshecouldhavealifewithPhil.Theystandbehindtheirchildrenandsupportthemunconditionally,butalsomaintaintheirindependentanduninterruptedlives,givingthemselvesandtheirchildrenfreedom.2.2DifferentWaysofNurturingContemporaryfamilyeducationinChinaisinfluencedbythetraditionalconceptofthefamily,wheretheparentalwaysimpliesauthorityandisattheheartofthefamilyastheruler.Theolderpersonmustbeabletoeducatetheyounger,whichcreatesakindofinequalityinrelationshipswithinthefamily,andchildrenthuslearntosaydifferentthingstodifferentpeople,tounderstandthatparentsaremoreimportantthanfriendsandthateldersareasymbolofauthority.InAmericanfamilies,ontheotherhand,parentsaremoreconcernedwithfreedomandequalityintheirdealings.Fromanearlyage,theyrespecttheirchildrenandvaluetheimportanceofgivingthempersonalautonomytolearntomaketheirowndecisionsandsolvethevariousproblemstheyencounterindependently,associetyallows.Theytreattheirchildrenequallyasindividualsandgivethemtherespectandunderstandingtheydeserve.Childrenareallowedtoexpresstheiropinionsfreelyinfrontoftheirparentsandarerewardedfortheirinsightfulcomments.Childrenaregivenindependenttimeandspacetofreelyimagineordocreativeactivities.2.2.1ChineseFamily:AuthoritativeInHomewithKids,XiaDonghaigoestoLiuXing’sclassforaparent-teacherconference,whereparentsofchildrenwithgoodacademicresultsfeelveryproudofthemselves,andparentsofchildrenwithpooracademicresultsfeelsoashamedofthemselvesthattheywanttofindacrackintheground.WhenLiuXing’sacademicperformanceispoor,XiaDonghaiispressedbyLiuMeiaboutLiuXing’sperformancewhenhereturnsfromschool,butXiaDonghaiisafraidthatLiuMeiwillbeatherchildandcleverlychangesthesubject.XiaDonghaiisafraidthatLiuMeiwillbeatthechild,cleverlychangesthesubject.XiaXueknowshowtobehave,andhergradesareexcellent,andsheisthechildofothersineveryone’smouth.Becauseofhercharactertraits,LiuMeiisverysupportiveofherdecisionsandsupportshertodosomeafter-schoolactivitiestoenrichherafter-schoollife,butLiuXing,whohaspoorgradesandanaughtypersonality,istaughttolearnmorefromXiaXue,hopingthathewillstudymoreanddowell,andheisnotgivensupportforhishobbies.XiaXuehasgoodgrades,butonedayherbehaviourbecamemoreorlessabnormalandeatinganddoingthingsoutoftheordinary.Whenpeopleaskwhy,LiuMeiintendstoinvestigatesecretly,mistakenlythinksthatXiaXuewillfallinloveearlyandisveryanxious.XiaDonghaidoesnotagreewithhiswifeLiuMei’sapproach:everychildintheprocessofgrowinguphastheirsecretsandsometimeschildrendonotwantotherstoknowthesesecrets.Theirprivacyshouldberespected.Thereasonissimple:ifachildisnotrespected,howcanheorshelearntorespectothers?Forexample,whenthechildrenhavealittleproblemwitheachother,LiuMeiwantstotalktoLiuXing,butXiaDonghaifeelsthatthereisnoneedforparentstointerfere,letthechildrensolvetheirproblems,givethemspaceandletthemdealwiththeproblemintheirway.Parentsgivetheirchildrenlife,butsoonerorlater,theywillalsobestrippedfromtheirlives.Ratherthantryingtohelpthemwithalltheirproblems,teachthemtheabilitytothinkindependentlyandsolveproblems.2.2.2AmericanFamily:DemocraticInModernFamilythereisdemocraticequalityeverywhere,betweenpeersandmenandwomenbetweenyoungandold,eldersandjuniors.Forexample,althoughClaire,GloriaandCameronallplaytheroleofhousemakers,theycarrymuchweightinthefamilyandneverreceiveanydisdainfromtheirotherhalffornothavingajobtoearn.AlthoughJayistheeldestinthefamily,hetreatshischildrenandgrandchildrenrespectfullyandishappytoaccepttheiradviceandsuggestions.Also,theparentshavefullrespectfortheirsonsanddaughterswhenchoosingaspouse.Inhersenioryearofhighschool,shelikedtherebelliousboyDylan,buthermother,Clairedidnot.OnafamilytriptoDisney,Clairearrangedforherfriend’snephew,whohadscored2200onhisSATs,togowithhertotrytosetthemup.HoweverthentheymetDylan.Clairesays‘IknowIcan’trunHaley’slifeforher,butifsheletme,Iwouldbesogoodatit’.Itshowsthatnomatterhowmuchtheparentsobject,theywillultimatelyrespecttheirdaughter’schoice,andtheirfamilyenvironmentisdemocraticandegalitarian.TheadoptionofanAsianchild,Lily,byMitchandCam,agaycouplewhohavelivedtogetherformanyyears,toleratingandunderstandingeachotherandacceptingeachother’sstrengths,andtheadoptionofayellow-skinnedchildbysuchagaycouple,alsodemonstratestheAmericanquestforfreedom,forwhomloveisfreeandknowsnoboundaries,noracialboundariesandnogenderboundaries.ThefactthatgaymarriagewaslaterallowedandthatMitchandCamfinallywentontomarryisatestamenttothis.Americanfamilieshaveapredominantlydemocraticandegalitarianapproachtoeducation,wherechildrencanexpresstheiropinionsandparticipateinfamilyaffairsathome.Parentsarelikefriendsandcancommunicateasequals.Parentsrespecttheprivacyoftheirchildren.Openeducationisadvocated.Theemphasisisonpracticalexerciseandontrainingchildreninpractice,believingthatchildrenshouldbeallowedtodoeverythingbythemselves,sothatintheprocessofcompletingtasks,theycanraiseawareness,gainexperience,acquireskills,enhancetheirabilities,developtheirinterestsandstrengths,andincreasetheirself-confidenceandsenseofresponsibility.2.3DifferentAttitudesofParentsTowardsChildren’sPuppyLoveInAmerica,mostteenagersstartdatingtheoppositesexinhighschool,whichisanormalandcasualintheUnitedStates.Intheirview,firstly,teenagerscangainexperiencethroughrelationshipsandgainproficiencyinrelationships,andtheycangrowupquicklyevenifitisdifficulttosustainloveforalongperiodtime.Secondly,theycanlearnearlierwhatkindofpersontheyaresuitablefor,andtheycanalsoadaptbettertosubsequentrelationshipsandformtheirviewofrelationships.InChina,however,oncethereisahintofearlylove,theywillfaceoppositionandideologicaleducationfromparentsandteachers.Intheireyes,earlyloveisinappropriatebehaviorthatcaneasilyaffectachild’sstudiesandfutureandisnotallowed.2.3.1ChineseFamily:ConservativeInHomewithKids,XiaYu,whoisinprimaryschool,hasabestfriendnamedDuoDuo,whoishisclassmateandalsohisneighbour.Theygotoschooltogetherandplaytogetherafterschoolwhentheyfinishtheirhomework.XiaYuhasacrushonDuoduo,butheisatastagewhereheisignorantofwhathelikes,soitisnormalforagoodfriendtohaveaverysimplecrush.Teenagechildren’smindsareveryinnocent,theirworldplayful,curiousabouteverything,seetheirpeersmorefeelaffectionate,andhaveasimplementalitywithoutotherideas.Onceintheclassroom,XiaYuenthusiasticallygaveDuoduobadmintonwith‘Iloveyou’writtenonit,expressinghissimplelove.WhenDuoduotookithome,herparentswerealarmedandcametoherdoor,suspectingXiaYuofearlylove,andXiaYu’sparentsexplainedthatthechilddidnotknowanybetter.Theparents’thinkingcomplicatesasimplething.Theparentsconsiderasimpleexpressionoflikingtobeearlylove,andtheythinkitisabigdeal.WhenDuoduo’sparentsandXiaYu’sparentssolvedtheproblem,theydidnotaskDuoandXiaYuwhattheythought.Theyjustusedadultthinkingtosolvetheproblemanddidnotunderstandthechild’sinnerthoughts.XiaXueandhisclassmatesFangGanghalfayearagotogetherplayedaprogramcalledhusbandandwifeliteracy.FangGangwasthemonitor,andclassmatescalledhimbrotherbecausehusbandandwifeliteracyprogram.ThestudentscalledXiaXuesister-in-law,XiaXue’sparentsheardthenickname,XiaXue’sparentsmistookXiaXuepuppylove,andthenFangGangclassmatesinvitedtothehome,askaboutthesituation.XiaXue’sparentsdidnotunderstandtherealsituation,makingamisunderstanding,withadultthinkingproblems,destroythepurefriendshipbetweenstudents.Chineseparentsgenerallyregardtheirchildrenastheirpersonalbelongingsratherthanasrespectedindividualswithindependentpersonalities.Somostparentswillthinkthatpuppylovewillaffectthefutureoftheirchildren,andchildren’spuppyloveisnotsensible.Parentsandchildrenshouldunderstandpuppylovecorrectlyandcorrecttheirattitudetowardsit.2.3.2AmericanFamily:Open-MindedGloria,Manny’smother,believesthatfallinginlovecanmakechildrengrowandagreeswithherson’sromanticandprecociouscharacter.BecauseMannyisafatboy,hewillfeelinferiorbecauseofhisappearancebecausehisappearancecannotattracttheoppositesex.However,Gloriaalwayspositivelyencouragesherson,faceshispsychologicalproblemsandadolescentproblemssquarely,encouragesMannynottofeelinferior,letsMannyseetheadvantagesinhimself,andcourageouslypursuethegirlhelikes.AlthoughManny’sbodyisnotperfect,GlorialetsMannyseehisadvantages.Romanceishisadvantageandheshouldpaylittleattentiontoexternalconditions.ClairefacedherchildHaley’spuppyloveandsolvedtheproblemforherinsteadofpreventingit.ManyAmericanstudentshaveboyfriendsandgirlfriendsinmiddleschoolandevenelementaryschool,andparentsencouragethemtodateseparately.Schoolsarrangeactivitiessuchasdancesor“Valentine’sDayconfessions”toencouragemaleandfemalestudentstodate.Americansbelievethatdatingcanhelppeoplelearnhowtogetalongwiththeoppositesex,howtolearntorespect,accommodate,compromiseandberesponsibility,andisanindispensablepartofthegrowthprocessofteenagers.2.4DifferentAttitudesofParentsTowardChildren’sPersonalWillChineseparentsneedmorecommunicationwiththeirchildrenandneedtounderstandwhattheirchildrenwantanddo.Theyseldomplaytheroleoflistenertolistentotheirchildren.Duetotherapiddevelopmentofsociety,thereisasituationofcomparisonamongparents.Parentsarelookingforwardtotheirchildren’ssuccess,tothechildren’sinvisiblepressure,willimposetheirwillonthechildren,thinkthattheirwillisthewillofthechildren.Americanparentsandchildrengetalongwitheachotherlikefriends.Theygetalongpeacefullywiththeirchildren,listentotheirchildren’swishes,andfacetheirchildren’swishes.Americanparentsencouragethemtopracticetheirwishesanddoitbravely.2.4.1ChineseFamily:LessRespectfulbutMoreJudgmentalLingling,Xia’sneighbor,begantolearnthepianowhenshewasveryyoung,atfirstbecauseofherinterest,butafteralongtime,Linglinglostinterestinplayingthepiano.However,herparentshavegreathopesforher,allowinghertospendmostofhersparetimepracticingthepianoandnotlettingherdothingsshelikes.Theyalwayssaythatshehadaspeciallikingforpianobefore,andforcinghertoparticipateinvariouspianocompetitions.Putmuchpressureonhertogettheaward.LaterLinglingonthepianohasfromboredomtofear.LiuXingandXiaYu’sghostidealetLinglingeatlaxativestoescapethegame.LinglingparentsthinkthatthewaterinLiuXing’swaterbottlehurttheirdaughter,forthistoXiaDonghai’shome.Thecouplehadtoapologizetoeachotherandbearthemedicalbills.Linglingsoonrecovered,thankstoLiuXingandXiaYu,sendtheirpaintingofthesouvenircard.Atthistime,herparentstooktherequesttopunishLiuXing,XiaYu’scalltocalltocall,XiaDonghaicouplepointedouttheirchildren’smisunderstanding,thebellalsoexplainedthatheistotakelaxativestoescapethecompetition,andlaterdonotwanttobeapianist!XiaXueandLiuXingwearself-decoratedclothestoschool.LiuXingpaintedBugsBunnyandothermiscellaneousthingsontheschooluniform,buthisteacheroldhisparents.LiuXingandXiaXuedecidedtoforma‘beautifulduo’,twopeopledressedinstrangecostumes,greatexcitement,moreandmoreintense.LiuMeisawafterbeingveryangry,XiaDonghaisaidthechildren’sageisinthestageofloveofbeauty,andrebelliouscharacter,letLiuMeinotangry.Sinceancienttimes,Chinahasattachedgreatimportancetofamilyeducation.Parentsallhopetotraintheirchildrentobetalented,andmostexpecttheirchildrentobesuccessfulandtheirdaughterstobebeautiful.Therefore,thepurposeoffamilyeducationinChinaisfamily-oriented.Chineseculturemainlyunderstandshumanbeingsasbeings,attachesimportancetohumansociality,andunconsciouslylinkschildren’seducationwithfamilydevelopment.Themoderneducationadvocates,‘Don’tletchildrenloseatthestartingline.’Inordertoachievethisgoal,parentsdoallthehouseworkandsendtheirchildrentothebestschool,hopingthattheiracademicperformancecanbeamongthebest,towinfaceforparentsandhonorforthefamily.Parentsimposetheirwishesontheirchildren,donotaskfortheirwishes,butsubstitutetheirs.2.4.2AmericanFamily:LessJudgmentalbutMoreEncouragingOnthefirstdayofschool,Mannywillwearhisfavoritetraditionalcloaktoschool.Manny’smotherGloriaisfromColombia,sothecloakisinColombianstyle.MannywantstoletthestudentsknowsomethingaboutColombiannationalculture,buthisfatherridiculesManny.Hisfathersaid,“Whatareyouwearing?Shouldyourideadonkeytoschool?”ButManny’smotherGloriagreatlyrespectsManny’sideaandencourageshimtosay,“Youaresohandsome.”Onthewaytoschool,hisfatherlaughedatMannyalltheway,causingMannytostopinsistingandchangethetraditionalcloakheliked.Atlast,GloriainsistedonreturningtheclothestoManny.ShetoldManny’sfatherthatsheshouldtellthechildthatwestoodbyhim.InthefirstseasonofModernFamily,Alex,Phil’sseconddaughter,chosethecellolessonssheliked,eventhoughshehadtomovethemindependently.TheyoungersonLukeisjustasgoodinPhil’seyesanddoesn’tforcehimtolearnotherskills.Theparentsoftheir15-year-olddaughterHaleyalsoletherexperienceherlove.Jaydidnotaccepthisson’shomosexualityatfirstbutdidnotopposeit.Eventually,heacceptedhisson’sboyfriendandhisfamily.Theline“Idon’twanttogiveupbeingmyselfeverysecond”from11-year-oldMannyinthedramaisundoubtedlythebestinterpretationofthepurposeofAmericanfamilyeducation.Americanvaluesareindividualisticindividualism,payingattentiontoindividualinterests,andadvocatingpersonaldevelopmentandself-realization,whichisthecoreofAmericanculture.Americanfamilyeducationaimstocultivatechildreninto“socialpeople”whocanadapttovariousenvironmentsandsurviveindependently.Americanchildrenhavetherighttochoose.Americanparentsattachgreatimportancetolettingtheirchildrenchooseandmakedecisionswhentheirchildren’scognitiveabilityisinitiallydeveloped.Theycanchoosemusic,books,games,andwhentheygrowup,theycanchoosetheirfriends,careersandmarriages.Marriageobject,marriagetime.Americanparentsdonotchoosefortheirchildren.Indailylife,theymainlyguidetheirchildrenonhowtomakechoicesorstandbehindtheirchildren,givingthemconfidenceandencouragingthemto“seewithyoureyes”.Americanparents,suchasfriends,canhaveequalcommunication,andtherelationshipbetweenparentsandchildrenisrelativelyclose,andharmonious.Asaresult,childrenhavethetimeandspacetoimagineordocreativeactivitiesfreely.ChapterThreeReasonsfortheDifferencesBetweenChineseandAmericanFamilyViewsonFamilyEducationThehistoricalandculturalbackgroundsofChinaandtheUnitedState