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HowtoDealWithOverwhelmingFeelingsHere'sasimplethreestepformula.KEYPOINTSFeelingoverwhelmedisaninherentpartofthenormalhumanexperience.Withpractice,peoplecanlearntodealmoreeffectivelywithdifficultthoughtsandfeelings.Peoplecannoticethatthisishardforthem,feelinsidetheirbody,andmoveinavalueddirection.I’vebeenworkingasapsychologistformorethan40years,andIoftengetaskedhowIdealwithdifficultthoughtsandfeelings.Afterall,IhavespentsomuchtimehelpingpeoplegetbetterthatIsurelymustbeaparagonofmentalhealth—aprimeexampleofsomeonewhodealsnearlyperfectlywithlife’sinevitablechallenges.Unfortunately,asmuchasIwouldlikethistobetrue,peoplewhoknowmepersonallycouldassureyouthatthisisjustnotso.Thedisappointingrealityisthatdespitemyknowledgeandexperience,Istillcontinuetostruggle.IstillgetcaughtupinmyownheadwhenIworrytoomuchaboutthefuture.Istillhaveemotionaloutburstswhenlifeseemsunfairandunjust.AndwhenI’mhighlystressed,IstillsaythingsthatafterwardIwishIcouldtakeback(orhavesaiddifferently).I’vebeenresearchingandapplyingtechniquesfromacceptanceandmitmenttherapy(ACT)formanydecades,andyet—attimes—Istillstrugglewithoverwhelmingthoughtsandfeelings.Ittookmeawhiletoetotermswiththisrealitymyself:NomatterwhatIdo,Iwillcontinuetostruggle.Thismaysounddepressingatfirst,butitactuallycontainsabittersweetreassurance.Itmeansthatstrugglingisapartofthenormalhumanexperience.Anditmeansthatyourcontinuousgripesandgrievancesarenotjustbecauseyou“haven’tfigureditout”orbecauseyouareinherently“broken,”butbecauseyouarealiving,breathingperson.Thisisnottosaythatyouhavenochoiceinthematterorthatyoucannotmakeadifference.Withregularpractice,youcanlearntodealmoreeffectivelywithdifficultthoughtsandfeelingssothatyougetstucklessoftenandcanrefocusonwhatmatterstoyoumuchmorequickly.It’samatteroflearningspecifictechniques—liketheoneIwillteachyoufurtherdownbelow—andthenapplyingthemregularly.IhavepracticedACTforyears,andwhenIstartfeelingoverwhelmednow,Icanrelyonarangeofstrategiesthathelpmerespond.I’mstillnowherenearperfectatapplyingACTinmyownlife(andexpectingthisfrommyselfwouldbefoolish),butIhavegottenbetterovertheyears.Withthatbeingsaid,hereismygotoformulayoucanusewhenyouarefeelingoverwhelmed.1.Notice.Whentheworldseemstoecrashingdown,it’shardtothinkstraight,whichiswhythefirststepisstraightforwardandsimple.Youdon’tneedtodoanythingotherthannoticethatthisiscurrentlyhardforyou.Itcanbeassimpleashavingaquickmomentofclaritywhileyouareexperiencinganemotionaloutburst.Thismaysoundeasyenough,butitrequiressomepracticebecauseit’salmostalwayseveneasierto“loseyourself”inthemotionofyourthoughtsandfeelings.Ifyoupracticetheskillofnoticing,youwillbeabletocatchyourexperiencesastheyunfoldinthepresentmoment,allowingyoutomakeaconsciousdecisionaboutwhatyouwanttodonext.2.Feel.Thenextstepistrickier.Whenoverwhelmingthoughtsandfeelingsgetaholdofyou,theymightconvinceyouthatyouarenotOK.Andtheonlywayforyoutobee“OK”againisbygettingridofthesethoughtsandfeelings,makingyouresorttooldhabitsinanefforttofeelbetter.Youmightlashout,stuffyourselfwithfortfood,smokeacigaretteortwo,disappearintosocialmedia,oruseanyothermeansofescapism.Anditworks…atleastforamomentuntilyoufindyourselfoverwhelmedagain,leadingyoutorepeatthecycle.Whatyoumightnotrealizeinthosesituationsisthatyoustillhaveachoice.Andratherthanrunningawayfromyourexperience,youcanlearntosimplybewithit.Thismeanstakingamomenttoactuallygetinsideyourbody:Whatcanyoufeelrightnow?Andwheredoyoufeelit?Actually,takeafewseconds,maybeevenaminuteortwo,andexplorewhatyoucannoticeinternally.Wherecanyounoticemotion?Iswhatyouarefeelingsteady?Orisitmoving?Whatelsecanyounotice?Practicebeingcuriousaboutyourownexperience.Thiscanbescary,especiallyifyouhaveahistoryofavoidingunfortablefeelings.However,youdon’tneedtogoallthewayrightfromthestart.Youcanstartsmallandsimple,forinstance,byjustfocusingonwhatyoucanfeelinyourrightindexfinger.Fromhere,youcanexploreyoursensationsinyourotherfingers,thenyourfullhand,yourarm,yourchest,yourstomach,andsoon.MakesuretodoitinawaywhereyouknowonagutlevelthatyouwillbeOK—withkindness,patience,andcare.3.Move.Thenextandfinalstepistofocusoutward.Afterall,aren’ttherethingsinlifethatmattermoretoyouthanfeelingoverwhelmed?!Youmaycareaboutshowingupforyourlovedones.Ormaybeyouwanttoachievecertaingoalsatworkorjustimproveyourselfcare.Whateveritmaybe,takeamomenttomoveinavalueddirection.Thisdoesn’thavetobeagrandgesture;asmallstepwillsuffice.Itcanbeassimpleasdrinkingaglassofwater,writingaquicktexttoalovedone,takingashortwalkinthesun,orgivingyourdogsomewelldeservedbellyrubs.Thepossibilitiesareendless.Whatmattersisthatyoutakeasmallactioninthedirectionofwhatgivesyourlifepurposeandmeaning.Wheneveryoufindyourselfstrugglingwithfeelingoverwhelmed,followthissimplethreestepformula:Noticethatthisishardforyou,feelinsideyourbody,andmoveinavalueddirection.No,thiswillnoteliminateallfeelingsofoverwhelm,norisitsupposedto.Instead,theaimofthistechniqueistohelpyoupracticetheskillofpsychologicalflexibilitysoyoucanhavedifficultthoughtsandfeelingswhilestilldoingwhateverenrichesandempowersyourlife.Eventhoughtheycanbeunfortable,yourthoughtsandfeelingscanneverharmyou.Andeventhoughitmaynotfeellikeitattimes,youaregoingtobeOK.Youareawholepersonhavingahumanexperience.Youwillstillcontinuefeelingoverwhelmed,butwithpractice,youwillalsohavetheskillstorecenteryourselfquicklyandthenrefocusyourlifeonwhatyouactuallycareabout.Exercise1:英译汉翻译练习inherentpsychologistgetcaughtupemotionaloutburstsoverwhelmthoughtsandfeelingsabittersweetreassuran
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