第303章照顾生意

303TakingCareofTV:Alright,comeonnow,helpmeouthere.Tellouraudiencewhenyoufirstrealizedyouwouldratherbeawomaninhighschool.TV2:BythetimeIwasaseniorIwasquiteabatontwirler.Mike:Eh,haveyouguysseenMomandDad?TV2:Fromthenon,IknewIwasafemaletrappedinamalebody.Mike:Hey,Carol,somebodyelsewithyourproblem.Carol:Mike,whenareyougonnagrowMike:Foryourinformationtoday,MikeSeaverbecameaman.Ben:Whowereyouthismorning?Mike:JustatboywithajobatBernie'scarwash,butnotanymore.Carol/Ben:Berniefiredhim.Maggie:Youwerefired?Mike:Iwasn'tfired!Iquit!Jason:Eitherwayourdealwasnojob,noMike:ButDad,Ihaveajob,it'sagreatjob,anincrediblejob.Ohgod,thisissoexciting,youguysmightgetalittledizzywhenItellyou.Youbettersit.Jason:I'lltakemyMike:Okay,okay,youtwoarelookingatthenewestmemberofthesalesforceatStereoVillage.That'sright,Iamoneofthelucky,luckyfewwhohasbeengivenashotatunlimitedearningssellingqualityaudio,video,andcomputercomponentsatrockbottomprices!Jason:IbettersitMike:Iwarnedyouguys.Look,I'dlovetochataboutthissomemorebutI'mgoingtobelateforthefirstnightofworkso.Maggie:Mikewe'renotfinishedMike:Well,geeMom,Idon'tknowwhatelseIcouldpossiblytellyouguys.Jason:Well,howabouthowdidyouhearaboutthisjob?Whoareyouworkingfor,whatareyourhours?Maggie:Howyou'regoingtogetyourhomeworkdone?Jason:Howmuchdoesitpay?Maggie:Isitlegal?Mike:Holdit.Maggie:Mike,youlookalittledizzymaybeyou'dbettersitMike:Comeon,Igetthefeelingthatyouguyshavenofaithinmeatall.WhathaveIeverdonetomakeyoufeelthatway?Mike:Alright,alright.Jason:OkMike,tellusaboutthenewjobanddon'tsoundlikeagameshowMike:Ok,ok.IjustworkthreeafternoonsafterschoolandonSaturdays,withMaggie:GoMike:Andokay,inthestoresit'sjustrightatthestreetinthemallnexttothatshopthatsellsthesexyunderwearforwomen.Jason:Iknowtheplace.Igetmyhaircutnearthere.Maggie:Sohowmuchdoesthisjobpay?Mike:Well,it'sajobinsales,MomJason:Howmuch?Mike:Well,it'skindahardtosay.Jason:Howmuch?Mike:Well,see,whenyousellthingsyougetacommission,andI'dbegettingtenpercentofeverythingIsell.Imean,thiscouldbeworththousandsguys.Jason:Soithasnobasesalarywhatsoever?Mike:NowDad,Iknowthisisn'tgoingtobeeasybutIsurecan'tspendtherestofmylifeatthatcarwash.Maggie:WellJason,whatdoyouthink?Jason:Ok,Mike.Mike:Alright,thanksguys,thanks,Igottagochangeforwork.Um,Ican'tbelate,Andrewhasthispolicy,saystardinessisunacceptableforanyreason.Maggie:Who'sMike:Oh,he'sthemanagerofthewholestore.Seeyoulater.Jason:What'shislastname?Mike:Uh[Mumbles]takeiteasy.Jason:What?Mike:Delish,seeyouMaggie:Delish?Hewouldn'tberelatedtoJerryHighschooldropoutDelish,wouldhe?Mike:Jason:OrJerry.Hi,we'rebothinjailDelish?Uh,actuallyWhatwasthequestionMaggie:IsAndrewDelishrelatedtothatjerkthatusedtogetyouintotroubleallthetime?Mike:Related?Um,they'reveryclose.Jason:Howclose?Mike:SameMaggie:Mikedidn'tweforbidyoutoassociatewithJerryDelish?Mike:Yea,butyoudidn'tsayanythingaboutAndrew.Jason:C'mon,what'sthisAndrewbusiness?Why'dhechangehisname?Mike:Well,Ithinkit'skindofobvious,Dad.Jason:Yea,tothrowthecopsofftheMike:No,no,Dad,see,hewantedtochangehislifearoundsohestartedwithhisname.Imean,Dad,he'sthemanagerofthewholestore.Andyou'retheonewho'salwayssayingweshouldbelievethebestinpeople,sowhynotgiveJerrythebenefitoftheJason:Well,um,okwhatdoyouthinkMaggie?Maggie:I'llagreewithyourdecision.Jason:Alright,Mike,giveitashot.Mike:Hey,thanksalot,Dad.Maggie:Thatwasn'tthedecisionIwasgoingtoagreeJason:Youknow,ifyou'regoingtodealwiththepublic,you'llneedaniceconservativesuit.Mike:Comeon,Dad.I'mjustsellingstereos.Jason:Well,yea,butitneverhurtstolooksharp.Mike:Uhhuh.Tellmeaboutit.Ben:Mom,wereyoualwaysawoman?Maggie:No.Iusedtobealittlegirl.Ben.Oh.ItoldyouMaggie:Jason,whydidyoutellMikehecouldworkforJerryJason:Well,honeyafteryouleft,IgottohearJerry'sphilosophy,theroadtosuccessishardwork.Anddon'texpectotherstomakeiteasyforyou.Eachofusisresponsibleforhimself.Maggie:Jason:Really.He'sgotMikewantingtobepromptanddependable.ThingsI'vebeentryingtomakehimthinkaboutforyears.Maggie:Jason:IfIwasn'tsodarnconfidentofmyself,Imightevenbealittlejealous.Carol:IwouldjustliketostatefortherecordthatIneveroncesuggestedthatyoumighthavebeenaman.Maggie:Whattheheckaretheywatchinginthere,anyway?Mike:Anddon'tforgettosendyourfriendsin.Customer:Uh,ifIhaveaproblemwithmyunit.Mike:Callme.Customer:IBoner:So,whatdoyouthink?Customer2:Ithinkyou'redangerous!Mike:Boner,whatareyoudoing?Boner:All'sIknowisIgotaguylookingatacoupleofspeakerswhoonlywantedchangefortheparkingmeter,IsayIdidalot.Mike:Look,rememberwhatAndysays,agoodsalesmancouldsellarefrigeratortoanEskimo.Boner:Well,anEskimowouldn'tneedaOhhh.Mike:Yea.Boner:Ok,I'llgiveitanothershot.Mike:That'sright.Jason:Hi,Boner!Boner:It'sRichardJason:Youchangedyourname,Boner:No,it'salwaysbeenRichard.Ijustdon'tuseit‘causeit'sadumbsoundingname.Jason:Goodthinking,Boner.Hey,Mikey,lookwho'shere.Ah,excusemeasecond.Jason:HiMike.Mike:Ah,Boner,canyoutakecareofmycustomerwhileItakecareofmydad?Boner:Well,I'dratherselltoyourdadOh,ok.Mike:So,Dad,uh,whatareyoudoingJason:I'mjusttakingadvantageofStereoVillage'sgrandopeningsale.Mike:Checkin'uponme.Jason:Oh,comeon,Mike.I'mnotcheckinguponyou.Ok,I'mcheckinguponyou.So,sueme.Mike:Dad,Jason:IseeyoutookmyadviceabouttheMike:Well,yea,yea,likeAndrewsays,dressforsuccess.Andrew:Hey,Michael,whenyougetthechanceDr.Seaver.Jason:Jerry.Uh,Andrew.Andrew:Ihaven'tseenyousinceyoubailedMichaelandmeoutofjail.Jason:Yea.Mike:Andthatwasaverylongtimeago,Dad.Jason:That'sright.Andrew:Well,IthinkMichaelandIhavedonequiteabitofgrowingupsinceBoner:Mikey,lookwhoelseishere!Jason,whatareyoudoinghere?Mike:He'scheckinguponme,sameasyou.Maggie:Oh.Oh,no,no,nohoney.Ijusthappenedtobeshoppinginthelingeriestorenextdoor.Jason:Mike:Uh,Mom,yourememberJerryDelish,don'tyou?Maggie:Thatdirtbag,whereishe?Andrew:It'sAndrewMaggie:Ohmygoodness,you'veAndrew:Howareyoudoing,Mrs.Seaver?YoutwomustbejustasproudofMichaelasIam.Jason:fourdays.Maggie:That'swonderful,Michael,whydidn'tyoutellus?Mike:Well,IjustthoughtI'dsurpriseyou.Andrew:Well,hesuredidsurpriseme.I'veneverseenaharderworker.Mike:Well,look,I'dlovetotalktoyouguys,butIhaveacustomeroverherewhoneedssomehelp.Andrew:Gogethim,Mike.Mike:Ok.Andrew:Dr.Seaver,Mrs.Seaver,Ijustwantedtotellyou,I'mdeeplytouchedthatyouoverlookedallthatstupidtroubleIusedtogetMikeyintoandtookachanceandletMichaelworkhere.Notmanyparentswoulddothat.Maggie:Heck,anybodycouldendupinjail.Andrew:Well,itwasapleasuretoseeyouboth.Jason:Alright.Thankyou,Jerry.Maggie:Thankyou,Jerry.Andrew.Jason:It'sAndrew.Customer:Isthisradiocassette/TVthinganyMike:Oh,yes,yes.Ican'tlietoyou,Ed.It'sreallynotworththeprice.Ed:Mike:Jason:That'smyMaggie:ItoldyouMiketakingthisjobwasagoodidea.Jason:Oh,comeon,youweresounsure.Ben:It'snotfair!It'snotfair!It'snotfair.Carol:It'snotclean!Mike:HaveyouguysseenMomandDad?Ben:Mike,it'syourturntodothedishes.Mike:Nottonight,Benny.Mom?Dad?Carol:Youthinkjustbecauseyoudidn'tdirtyanyofthesedishesyoucangetoutofwashingthem.Mike:You'relookinggoodtonight,Carol.Hey,Mike!Wethoughtyou'dbeatwork!BenandCarol:Firedagain.Mike:No,see,thisisthebigsurprisethatIwastellingyouabout.Ijustgotmyfirstcommissioncheckanditwasmajor!Youguysaren'tgoingtobelievethis.But,um,IthoughtI'dsharesomeofthewealthwithmyfamily.Mom,Dad,andBen,andCarol.Ben:Whattheheck'sgoingonhere?Mike:Justgoaheadandopenit.Ben:Wow!SuperVetoBrothersinWyoming.I'mgonnagoplaythis!Carol:Mike!Thisissounlikeyou.Mike:Yea,well,Ifiguredyoucoulduseitwhileyoudoyouraerobics.Carol:Well,Idon'tdoaerobics.Mike:UhMaggie:It'sathesaurusyouneedawordthatmeansthesameastheoneyou'vealreadyusedyoujustpressabuttonandthisgivesyouawholebunchofotherwords.Maggie:Oh,Michael,thisissosweet,thoughtful,considerate,caring.Jason:Soundslikeshedoesn'tneedathesaurus.Maggie:I'mgonnacry,thankyou.Mike:You'rewelcome.Jason:Mike,youamazeMike:Well,thanksforbelievinginme,Dad.Hey,goon,goahead,openitup.Jason:Oh,ok.Oh,heyMikethisisterrific.whenyourpatientsaretalkingyoucouldwatchsomeTV.Jason:Idon'tmeantosoundungrateful,butisn'tthisthemodelthatyoutoldthatguyinthestorethatwouldbeawasteofhismoney?Mike:Oh,yea,thatwasjustsalesmanship,Dad.Jason:Idon'tunderstand.Mike:Oh,well,see,seethat'sthemodelweusetolurethemintothestore.It'smyjobtohookem,reelemin,andgetthemtospendalotmoremoney.Maggie:Jason,wouldyoujustcalmdownandtellmewhatMikeJason:Whatdidhedo?Well,he'sjusttakenthefirststepontheroadtoSingMaggie:SingJason:Yea,andyouknowwho'sgoingtobeholdingthecelldooropenforhim.Maggie:Ben?Jason:I'mtalkingaboutJerryDelish.AndyouandIwerefooledtothinkthatJerrywasn'tJerryanymorejustbecausehe'sAndrew.Maggie:JasonIcan'tfollowyouwhenyou'reranting.Jason:Idonotrant.Maggie:Oh,no,no,no.Ofcourseyoudon't.Jason:Anddon'tjustsaywhatIwanttohear.Maggie:Ok,then,youaregettingincrediblycarriedawayandsofaryouhaven'ttoldmewhathasgottenyousoupset.anyreason.Theroadtosuccessishardwork.Andgetthisone,eachofusisresponsibleforhimself.Mike'sbuyingthatahundredpercent.Maggie:JasondoyouthinkperhapsyouwereontosomethinglastweekwhenyoumightbealittlejealousofAndrew'sinfluenceJason:Oh,Iwascompletelyoffbaseandfrankly,Idon'tevenknowwhyyouwouldlistentome.Maggie:Jason:Maggie,you'resayingok,butyoureyesaresayingMaggie:Myeyesdidn'topentheirmouth.Now,ifitisn'tjealousy,whatisit,Jason:Alright,haveyoueverheardofsomethingcalledbaitandswitch?Maggie:Andrewdoesthat?Maggie:Oh,Jason:Maggie:Well,I'dlikeawordwiththatAndrew,uh,Jerry!AndJason:Well,I'dlikeawordwithallthreeofthem.MikeI'dliketotalktoyoubeforeyouwhoa.Lookatthisroom!Mike:What'swrongwithit?Jason:It'sclean.Mike:Jason:ThisanotheroneofAndrew'ssuggestions?Mike:Hesaysthemoreorganizedyouare,thebetter.Jason:Oh,I'llbet.Mike:What,youdon'twantmetocleanmyroom?Jason:Well,yea,butfortherightreasons!Mike:Yea,uh,Dad,listenIgottogetbacktothestore.AndrewsaysIcan't.Jason:Willyoujustsitdownplease?Mike:No,see,theonlyreasonIcamehomewasbecauseIgotastainonmysuit.AndI…Jason:Willyousit?Youknowwhatyou'redoingdownthere?Mike:Well,notatfirst,butnowit'skindoffun,Ilikeit.Imean.Jason:No,no,I'mtalkingaboutwhenyoutellacustomerthatsomethinghewantstobuyisjunktogethimtospendmore?It'scalledbaitandswitch.It'sacon.It'sacrime.Mike:Nowholdon,waitaminute.Dad,nowthatguywasfreetobuyanythinginthestore,hedidn'thavetolistentome.Jason:But,Mike,youliedtoMike:Dad,IjustnudgedhimtowardssomemerchandisethatweneededtoJason:Mike,you'relyingtopeople.PeoplearemoreimportantthanyoursalesMike:Alright,alright,holdon.Ok,howaboutyou,Dad.Now,whenyouwantedtogetridoftheoldcar,youwantedtogetasmuchasyoucouldforit,right?Jason:So?Mike:So,didyoutellthesalespersonthatthetransmissionwasshot?Jason:Yes,Idid.Mike:YouJason:ontheirtaxes,right?Jason:NotMike:Oh,Dad,Dad.There'sawholeworldgoingonouttherethatyoudon'tknowanythingabout.Jason:Don'tpityyourfather,Mike:I'mnot.I'mnot.I'mjustsayingthat,yougetupinthemorning;youwalkacrossthelivingroomandintoyouroffice.Imean,youneverevengooutside.itjustwalksinherebyitself?I'moutsideeveryMike:Sowhat'syourpoint?Yougonnamakemequit,Jason:Oh,youbetI'm…No,I'dliketo,asmuchasI'dliketo,I'mnot.Mike:You'renot?Jason:No.WhyJason:Becauseyou'retoooldformetomakeyoudoanything.Mike:Iam?Jason:Ican'tbelookingoveryourshouldallyourlife,Mike.Mike:Uh-huh.Jason:Yougottolearnthattheonlyoneresponsibleforyouisyou.Mike:Yea,that'sexactlywhatAndrewsays!Jason:Boner:Mikey,isMainSt.upthreeblocksorfour?Mike:Four.Boner:Hey,great.Fourblocks,it'sonthecorner,SenorStereo,youcan'tmissCustomer(Husband):Oh,great.Thanksalot.Boner:Hey,mypleasure.Customer(Wife):Ifyouhadn'toftoldus,wewouldhavewastedallthatmoneyMike:Boner,whatareyouBoner:Oh,theyneededawholenewstereosystem.Mike:Boner,that'swhatwesellhere.Boner:Iknowthat,butSenorStereo'shavingthisCallmeLocosale.Listen,theyjustgotmarried,sothey'rekindofbroke.Mike:Bone,that'snotyourBoner:Mikey,ifIwouldhavestuckthemwithourprices,Iwouldhavefeltlikeathief.Mike:WhoyoucallingaBoner:Nobody.Ican'thookem,Ican'treelemin.YouknowhowmuchIlikeMike:Boner,yougottostraightenupyouract,man.Lookatyouhere.WhatisBoner:Myshorts.Icouldn'tfindaAndrew:Michael,whenyougetachance,Ineedtotalktoyou.Mike:Yea,sure,Andrew.So,whatcanIdoforyou?Andrew:Ijustwanttoletyouknow,Michael,Ithinkyou'redoingaoneheckofajob.Mike:Hey,Andrew:Youknow,I'mreallyproudofyou.Mike:Well,Ilearnedfromyou.Andrew:Whatdidyoudothisweekincommissions?Mike:Ah,$350.Andrew:WhatdidBonerMike:Ah,well,youknowhe'sworkingrealhardoutAndrew:Mike,youknow,I'veknownBoneralongtime,almostaslongasI'veknownyou.AswellasIknowBoner,Ialsoknowhedoesn'thaveit.Mike:Well,maybehe'sjustnervous,Imeanmaybehejustgotsomuchofit,hedoesn'tknowwhattodowithit.Andrew:Michael,you'vemade$350.Bonerhasmade$3.62.Mike:Isthatnetorgross?Andrew:Hisnetisgoodhearted,butthatguycouldn'ttellalieifhislifedependedonit.Andrew:Mike,youknowwhatittakestosell.ButcanyouhonestlytellmethatBoner'sgonnahavethatkillerinstinct?Now,Iknowyou'realittleclosertohimthanIamsoIthoughtI'daskyouifyouwantedtotellhim.Mike:Tellhimwhat?Well,he'sgone.Mike:Andrew:Hey,thisisbusiness.Youwanttotellhim?Mike:Andrew:It'sclosingtime,somebody'sgotto.Ijustthoughthe'dtakeitbetterfromyou.Customer:So,uh,howmanywattsperchannelisMike:Huh?Oh,um,40watts.Listenwe'vegotafewminutesbeforeclosingandwhydon'tyouthinkitoverandI'llberightback.That'stwelvemorecentsrightinmypocket.Customer:Excuseme,doyoucarrytheThunderclapTwoSystem?Mike:Uh,yea,yea.Wegotit.Customer:Mike:I'msorrysir,I'msorry.It'sbeenalongday.Yes,wedocarrytheThunderclapTwoSystemandI'dbehappyto,uh,tohaveRichardheredemonstrateitforyou.Couldyou,uh,pleaseshowthisgentlemantheThunderclapTwoSystem?Boner:Oh,that'sexpensive.Mike:Rightthiswaysir.Andrew:Michael,it'salmostclosingMike:Yea,Iknow,Iknow,Jer.Justgivehimaminute,he'sabouttomovethehighestpricedsysteminthestore.Boner:You'reright,itisthisMike:Oh,comeon,justforoldtime'ssake,alright?Imean,Imean,he'syourbuddy,too.Andrew:There'satimeforbuddiesandthere'satimeforbusiness.Customer:Ican'tthankyouenough.Boner:Hey,tellaMike:Boy,thatwasquick.Well,uh,we'dbehappytohelpyouloadcomponentsintoyourcarforyou,Customer:No,Icanwait.TheBoneheretippedmetotheThunderclapTwo'sgonnabeonsalenextweek.I'llwaituntilthen.Boner:Hey,seeyouthen,Maurice.Customer:Hey!Boner:So,whoelseisupforfishandchips,huh?Andrew:Mr.Bone.Mike:Uh,no,wait.Um,IneedamomentwithAndrew,please.Boner:Surething.Mike:Comeon,Jer.JustgivehimonemoreAndrew:He'shadasmanychancesashe'sgonnaget.Now,I'vegotasalesquotatomeethere.Mike:So,whatdowedo,wejustdustBone?Becausehe'scausehe'sBoner?Andrew:No,becausehecan'tsell.He'snotlikeus,Mike.He'stooconcernedwiththecustomerandwhethertheycanaffordthestuff.Mike:So,what'swrongwithAndrew:Mikeifyoucouldn'tgetridofthisstuff,I'dgetridofyou.Mike:Butwe'rebuddies.Andrew:Thisisabusi