女友刁钻问题回答指南

女友刁钻问题答复指南女友刁钻问题答复指南没有女票的，未雨绸缪；有女票的，现学现用。好，接下来开头上课：女朋友都会问哪些奇葩问题？这些问题又该怎样答复？▌1.Doyoulovemeformylooksorbrains?你宠爱我的美貌还是才智？Youmustbethinking:Sometimes,youlooklikeyourbrain－small,narrowanddumb(adj.愚蠢)...whatkindofquestionisthis!Itisentrapment(n.圈套)!Youranswershouldbe:Baby,youaregoodateverything.Youkillmewithyourlooksandseduce(v.使…着迷mewiththebrilliance(n.卓越ofyourbrains...心理活动：……什么鬼问题！简直是个圈套！完善答复：珍宝，你什么都好。你的美貌让我一见倾心，而你的才智让我欲罢不能！▌2.Doyoulikemygirlfriends?你宠爱我的那些闺蜜么？Youmustbethinking:Oh...Reenaishot...Rialookscuteinpink...andPoojaissweet...:PYouranswershouldbe:Don”tsayNobecauseNomeans...“youmeanIdon”thavegoodfriends“.Don”tsayYesbecauseYesmeans...“Nowyoulikethemmorethanme“.Justplaysafe求稳andsay,“Allaregoodbutyouarethebest...Iloveyou“..;)心理活动：……瑞娜身材火辣……瑞亚穿上粉色的衣服格外得意……普贾长相甜蜜……完善答复：“不宠爱”，说不等于否认女友；固然更不能说“宠爱”，女朋友简洁吃醋。最保险的答复是“珍宝儿的朋友都很棒，但都比不上你啊！我爱的是你！”▌3.Whydoyoulikeme?为什么宠爱我？Youmustbethinking:F**k...@#￥%&*〔〔@#..:PYouranswershouldbe:Don”tsayeverything.Smileandjustsay...becauseyouare“you“…simpleyetunique...:)心理活动：靠，怎么答复好啊，@#￥%&*〔〔@#。完善答复：“由于你是„你‟”▌4.Doyoulovememorenoworwhenyouproposedtome?你是现在爱我多一点呢还是当时求婚时爱我多一点？Youmustbethinking:Everytimeyouasksuchquestions,Ifeellikequestioningmyself...whydidIpropose(v.求婚)toyou..?????Youranswershouldbe:Relax...takeadeepbreathandsay...“myloveforyouhasneverremainedsame...ithasincreasedmuchmoresincethedayIproposedtoyou…“andhugher…(Phewmoment...)心理活动：每次问我这样的问题，都让我开头疑心人生……当时为什么要求婚？？完善答复：“我对你的爱始终在变化。从求婚的那一刻起，它便与日俱增，从未减弱……”随后给个大大的拥抱……(此处可松一口气了……)▌5.Doyounoticeanythingdifferent?留意到我身上有什么不同么？Youmustbethinking:Yeah...itisanewtricky“different”question...pleasenotagain…Youranswershouldbe:IfyoufinditdifficulttosearchthatX-factor(n.未知量)...don”ttryhard...actsimplewithsometwist(n.变化)…Justsay...“yesterdayyouwerelookingcuteandprettyandtodayyouarelookinghotandravishing(adj.令人着迷)...okok...Tellmebabywhat”sthatdifferentexcitingthing....“withsomeextrainterestandkeen(adj.猛烈的)curiosity(n.古怪心)...:P心理活动：“大家来找茬”玩耍！完善答复：假设没能找到奇特的不同昨天的你甜蜜……的变化？”说这句的时候两眼要放光，以显示你猛烈的兴趣和古怪心。▌6.DoIlookfat,inthisdress?我穿这件裙子会不会显胖？Aclassic.Theanswerisareflex(adj.惯性的)“NO“.Don”tpause.Don”tstutter(v.结巴).Don”thesitate(v.迟疑).Evenifshelookslikeadonut(n.甜甜圈)withcreamontopinthatyellowdress;JUST.SAY.NO.“No”。没有停顿、没有结巴、没有迟疑。“No”。▌7.DoyouREALLYloveme?你真的爱我吗？Um,yeah.You”dthinkthisisenough,right?<Buzzer>(蜂鸣声WRONG!Youhavetotellherwhy,when,where,how,inwhatshape,inwhatform,thetemperature,thecolorandalltheotherdetails.Anythinglessthanthatisunacceptable.爱啊。错！”是不够的，时间、地点、缘由，外形、形式、温度、颜色，各种细节都必不行少，要不然通通会被视为敷衍。▌8.Whyis<xyz>liking/commenting/upvotingyourstuff?XXX总是在你发的东西下面点赞评论？Wronganswer-Becauseshe(it”salwaysashe)likesitprobably.Wronganswer-Wearefriends.Wronganswer-Weusedtobefriends.primaryschool.Wronganswer-Shehasaboyfriend!Rightanswer-Idon”tknow.Sheisabitch.〔固然是女字旁的她〕宠爱吧。错误答案：我们是朋友。错误答案：我们以前是朋友。错误答案：她有男朋友了！正确的答案只有一个。聪明的孩子都能秒懂的。▌9.Whatareyoulookingat?你在看什么？Pause.Step1.Wasthereagirlinthegeneraldirectionyouwerestaring?(generaldirectionisdefinedatanywherewithinaradius(n.半径)of50mfromwhereyouarelocated)Step2.Iftheanswerisyes,say