新高考英语题型优化之读后续写素材与练专题续写微技能与思维点拨

【创新+拓展设计】新高考英语题型优化之读后续写素材与练专题（1）

续写微技能与思维点拨续写主要存在四个方面问题:1）对原文的理解不到位，续写文不对题;2）与段落开头语的衔接不合理，行文逻辑不清；3）情节刮坏合理或无话可说；4）语言表达上，词汇低级且出现较多的语法错误，表达不准确此外，目前的续写教学以讲评课、分析课居多，真正系统有效的语言输入很少。与概要写作一样，读后续写作为高考英语大作文,时间紧，任务重，考前一定要有足够的准备与积累。微技能一动作描写一、动作描写的原则1.要精准1.要精准使用精准化动作类词汇对动作进行细致描写，用一系列小动作而不用大动作或者用含义比较明确的动词而不用抽象或虚化的动词来描述，可以使描写更加具体生动。试比较下面两句：Thelittleboysaidsorrytohismother.Thelittleboyhunghisheadandmumbledanapologytohismother.分析:①句中“saidsorryto”不带任何感情色彩，而②句中使用了具体化的表示“说”的动词mumbled,从而使一个不愿意道歉又不得不道歉的小男孩的形象栩栩如生地复现在读者脑海中。2.有过程2.有过程记叙文中有不少动作描写是一连串动作过程的展示。尤其在展示人物个性的动作时，如果我们蜻蜓点水、一笔带过，就很难突出人物形象，也很难给人以深刻的印象，而通过细节描写展现出动作的过程，表现力便会大增。如：Shewenttocatchthebutterfly.Shecreptalongthepath,bentoverswiftlyandcuppedherhandsaroundthebutterflygently.分析:①句在描写主人公捕捉蝴蝶的动作时，没有细节的动作描写，因此显得很平淡。而②句运用了creep,bend,cup三个连贯的动词生动具体地描述了主人公小心翼翼捕捉蝴蝶的微妙过程具有极强的画面感。因此，在续写过程中，在必要的地方恰当使用一连串的动词来表示过程，能为文章增添不少色彩。

3.用修辞3.用修辞除了在动词上做调整，还可以利用恰当的修辞手法来帮助描写动作。比喻、拟人、夸张等修辞手法都能让动作描写变得更有表现力。(1)比喻①Theoldman’sfacewrinkled.②Theoldman’sfacewaslikeawitheredapple.⑵拟人Mystomachwasachingfornoteatingontime.Mystomachwaspunishingmefornoteatingontime.(3)夸张Whensheheardthebadnews,shecried.Whensheheardthebadnews,ariveroftearspouredout.分析:上面每组中的②句分别使用了比喻、拟人、夸张的修辞手法 ，使得动作的描述更加生动形象,更加吸引眼球。二、动作描写的素材与“看、听、说”相关的词块①listenimpatiently不耐烦地听②glareangrilyatsb.对某人怒目而视glancearound/roundtheroom 扫视房间④stareat凝视takealookat看©overhearafunnyconversation无意间听到一段好笑的谈话⑦remark评论说⑧add补充说与“跑、跳、行走”等相关的词块①walkacrossastreet步行穿过马路walkarminarm臂挽着臂走pacebackandforth来回踱步④jumptoone’sfeet一跃而起⑤walkgracefully步态优美地走rushoutoftheroom冲出房间【迁移应用一】TheGreatGiftsOnce,agroupofschoolchildrenwereonanouting.Almostallofthemwereplayingball,exceptMonty,whowasseenasabitofafool—onlygoodforpokingfunat.Hedidn,tlikefights,orsports.Hewouldn,tevendefendhimselfwhentheystartedhittinghim!Hewassostrange.Butheplayedfootballwiththeothersandkic kedtheballthatday.Itendedupoverinalittlecave.Whentheywentintogettheball,theyfoundawoodenchestcontaininganamazingbook.Thebookwasgivingoffamagicalshine.Thechildrenrantogivethebooktotheteacher,whowasfascinatedbyit.Theyallagreedtoreaditinclassinthecomingdays.ThebookwascalledTheGreatGifts,anditrecountedwonderfultalesaboutgreatinventors,artists,wisewriters,explorers,andtreasurehunters.Witheachstorythechildrenbecamemorewide-eyed,andtheywereenchantedbyallthosecharacterswithspecialgifts.Theyfinallyreachedthelastpageofthebook,whichspokeabouttheoriginofthosegreatfigures.Theteacherread:“There'saplaceinheavencalledthefountainofhearts,whe re,priortobirth,eachheartisassigneditsspecialgifts.Theyusealittlebitofeverythingtomakenormalpeople.But,nowandagain,somethinggoeswrong,andsomeheartsendupmuchemptierthannormal.Inthosecases,theheartsfillupwithalast gift whichmakesthepersonexceptional.Theycanlackmanyotherqualities;inmanywaystheywillbedifferentfromeveryoneelse,andtheymaywellbeseenasstrangechildren.However,whentheirspecialgiftisdiscovered,theirachievementswillbecomepartofbookslikethisone.”Paragraph1:Whentheteacherclosedthebook,therewasalongsilenceintheclassroom.Paragraph2:Wasn,theexactlyoneofthespecialcases,asthebookhaddescribed?Whentheteacherclosedthebook,therewasalongsilenceintheclassroom.Whilethechildrenwereallthinkingabouttheirowngifts,Montycameoutwithoneofhisstrangecomments,“Ifyougetahearttransplant,andtheygiveyouapig,sheart,willyoutakeonapig,squalities?”HearingwhatMontysaid,everyonewantedtoburstoutlaughing,butlookingatMonty,theybegantofallintothinking.Wasn,theexactlyoneofthespecialcases,asthebookhaddescribed?MaybeitwasrightthatMontywasthedefinitecaseofthiskind.Alloftheclassmatesfeltverysorryforeverytimetheyhadalwayslaughedathim.Fromthatdayon,theyallworkedtogethertotrytohelpMontytodiscoverhisspecialgiftinart.Severalyearslater,MontybecameafamousartistjustasthebookTheGreatGiftsshowed.微技能二心理描写心理描写的原则.落实“细微处”描写在描写人物心理活动时，一定要突出细节,所有的感情都体现在“细微处”,所以尽量不用笼统的词,如smile,cry等，而用相关的细节性词汇或词组，例如：Lilysmiledhappily.Lilyworeashiningsmileonherface.分析:①句中“smile”是一个笼统的描述微笑的词汇，而②句中使用了woreashiningsmile,用词组的形式更加突出细节，展示了细微和精致的“微笑”。.体现“多样性”结构在进行人物心理描写时，尽量避免平铺直叙，可以多采用如非谓语动词的形式，作为谓语动作的伴随状态，从而使得描写到位，并体现语法结构的多样性。如：Hereyeswerefilledwithtears,andsheofferedhersincerethankstotheman.Tearsfillinghereyes,sheofferedhersincerethankstotheman.分析:①句在描写心理活动“哭泣”时，用到了Hereyeswerefilledwithtears。而②句则把这句改成了独立主格结构，运用了Tearsfillinghereyes,更显得描写的细致，同时也体现了句式的多样化，展示了高超的语言运用能力。.展示“丰富化”修辞除了选择细致的心理描写词汇和多样化的句式表达外，提升语言层次的另外一种方式是多使用修辞方法例如：

Thesmileonherfaceshonelikeadiamond.IfeellikeIamfloatinginanoceanofsadness.分析:①句中,把“微笑”比喻成“像钻石一样闪闪发光”；而②句中，把“悲伤”比喻成“漂浮在悲伤的海洋里”,展示了用修辞来体现细节描写的丰富。二、心理描写的素材.与“喜悦和满意”相关的词块abright/shiningsmile灿烂的微笑amixtureofexcitementandhappiness 既兴奋又开心burstintolaughter/burstoutlaughing突然大笑起来bewildwithjoy/delight欣喜若狂bejoyfulabout/at/over对 很高兴beinhighspirits情绪高涨bepleasedbeyonddescription 快乐难以言表lightup喜逐颜开becontent/satisfiedwith对……满意bedelightedat对 很高兴withpleasure非常乐意.与“悲伤和烦恼”相关的词块besadatheart心里悲伤bedowninspirits情绪低落anoceanofsadness悲伤的海洋burstintotears/burstoutcrying 大哭起来sob啜泣sob啜泣becloudedwithgrief阴沉的悲伤beinlowspirits情绪低落fallintodespair陷入绝望feeldepressed/discouraged 感到沮丧/泄气haveaworriedlook愁眉苦脸3.与“生气和怨怒”相关的词块beveryangryat对 很生气feelangry/annoyed感到恼怒/生气beseizedbyanger充满愤怒befumingwithrage大发雷霆tremblewithanger愤怒得颤抖alookofburninganger愤怒的一眼glareatsb.怒视flareup勃然大怒beinarage一怒之下bemadat对 生气Oneday,mybrotherandIwerealoneinourapartment.Thereasonwasthatmyparentshadbothgoneforaballpartyandhadleftmeinchargeofeverything.IwasdoingmyhomeworkwhilemyyoungerbrotherwaswatchingTV.Allofasudden,thedoorbellrang.Ding-dong!Ding-dong!MyyoungerbrotherhadrushedtothedoorbeforeIdecidedtoanswerthedoor.Weboththoughtthatourparentshadcomehome.Asaresult,heunlockedthedoorandopenedit.Outsideofthehousestoodamanwhoworeablackraincoatandblackrubberboots.Helookednodiff erentfromotherpeopleandhesaidthathewasasalesmanandaskedpolitelyifourmotherorfatherwasathomesohecouldtalkwiththem.Withoutanythinking,mybrothersaid,“No.”Heaskedifwewouldliketobuysomecomicbooks,whichhewasselling.Iquicklyexplainedtohimthatwewerenotsupposedtobuyanythingwithoutourparents,permission.However,itseemedthathewasnotwillingtofollowmyadviceandhehadanintentiontoenterourhouse.Then,Irealizedsomethingterriblewouldhappen.AsIwasabouttoclosethedoor,heforcedhiswayintoourhouse.Hetookoutaknifeandforcedmetotieupmybrother,shandswithsomeropewhichhetookoutfromhispocket.ItieduphishandsbutItiedinaspecialwaysomybrothercoulduntiehimselfasweoftendid.Themanthentiedmyhandsupandlockedbothofusinthekitchen.Soon,hewentupstairstosearchthebedroomforsomethingvaluable.Imanagedtoteachmybrothertountietheropeonhishands.Hethenuntiedme.Irushedtothetelephonetocallthepolice,butthelinewasdead.Paragraph1:Thedoorswerealllockedfromtheoutsideandwhat,sworse,Ididnothavethekeys.Paragraph2:Justatthesametimeourparentscamebackhome.范文欣赏Thedoorswerealllockedfromtheoutsideandwhat,sworse,Ididnothavethekeys.Butluckily,themanforgottolockthekitchenwindow.BothmybrotherandImanagedtogetoutofthehousethroughthewindowwithjoyandwerantothenearbypolicestation,nervouslybuthappily,whereweaskedthemforhelp.Thepolicebravelyarrivedatourhouseassoonaspossible.Andasaresult,themanwascaught,whichmadeusveryhappy.Justatthesametimeourparentscamebackhome.Thepoliceaskedmyfamilytogotothepolicestation.Itwasattherethepolicetoldusthatthemanwasawantedrobberpretendingtosellcomicbooksandtheyhadbeenlookingforhimforalongtime.Thepolicepraisedmybrotherandmeforourbraveness.Backhome,Itoldmyparentsthewholestoryabouttherobberywithamixtureofexcitementandhappiness.Theywerethankfulthatwewerenothurtbuttheyscoldedmefornotstoppingmybrotherfromopeningthedoortostrangers.Ilearnedalessononsafetyandresponsibility.微技能三修辞描写ExamplesofMetaphorAllreligions,arts,andsciencesarebranchesofthesametree.(AlbertEinstein)Clearly,Einsteinwasn,ttalkingaboutaliteraltree.Buthe,sshowingacloserelationshipbetweendifferenttopicsbysuggestingthatthey,reallpartofthesamelivingthing.Healsobasicallyraisesaninterestingquestion一ifart,religion,andscienceareallbranches,whatshouldwecallthetree'strunk?很明显，爱因斯坦说的不是字面意义上的树。但他通过暗示不同的主题都是同一生物的一部分，展示了它们之间的密切关系。他还提出了一个有趣的问题 ——如果艺术、宗教和科学都是分支的话，我们该怎么称呼树的树干呢？Thatfootballplayerisreallyputtingtheteamonhisbackthisevening!Footballcommentatorsusethisphraseallthetimewhenanentireteamappearstobedependingonitsrunningback.Theimageofasinglemanrunninghardwithawholefootballteamonhisbackisanexpressionofhardworkanddedication.当整个球队似乎都依赖于它的跑动时，足球评论员总是使用这个短语。一个人背着整个足球队拼命奔跑的形象是努力工作和献身精神的表现。Shewasarockstaratourlastbusinesspresentation.Thisisprobablynotreferringtoaliteralrockstarfallingfromspaceortheothercommonmetaphor:amusicianperformingatarockconcert.Instead,itsimplymeansthepersondeliveredag reatperformanceatthemeetingandstoodoutlikearockstaronthestage.这可能不是指字面意义上的摇滚明星从天而降，也不是其他常见的比喻：音乐家在摇滚音乐会上表演。相反，它只是意味着这个人在会议上表现出色，像舞台上的摇滚明星一样引人注目微技能四外部冲突1）角色之间的冲突（人物观点差异，竞争需要等）如：（201711浙江高考）Onthefourthorfifthnight,wehadtroublefindingahotelwithavacancy.Afterdrivinginvainforsometime,Momsuddenlygotagreatidea:Whydidn'twefindahousewithalikely -lookingbackyardandaskifwecouldsetuptentthere?DavidandIbecamenervous. 开车找旅馆徒劳无功母亲建议搭帐篷在他人后院David和我倍感紧张，心有不悦（母子的观点不一）2）角色与环境之间的冲突如：（201706浙江高考）ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim hesawinstantlythatitwasn'tadogatall,butawolf:quicklycatchingupwithhim.Mac'sheartjumped ,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,andtoMac'srelief,itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater, Thenit ,tearingopenhistentbag.Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime,andagain,itfellback Mac骑车独自行，路遇饿狼，与之搏斗，险象环生。（人--角色与狼--环境大战）3）时间依赖的发展：决策变得紧急如：（201706浙江高考）Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim."Getintothecar."PaulshoutedatMac.MacjumpedoffthebikeandslidintothecarwithoutdelayasthewolfwasjusttwostepsawayandwasabouttotearMacintopieces.Whatanarrowescape! 骑车突停面前急喊上车Max上车避险饿狼近在咫尺（此情此景，刻不容缓）4）增加障碍：人物角色必须克服 挑战，以达到他们的目标如：（201806浙江高考）Butbeforewejumpedoffthehorses,wefoundthatwehadbeenoffthebeatentrackandgotlost.Wehadnoideawherewewereanditgotdark.Exhaustedandhungry,Iwonderedifwecouldfindourwayback.小兔突现马儿受惊草原迷路（障碍1）天色渐黑（障碍2）又累又饿（障碍3）心理恐慌（障碍4充分利用环境描写可以起到烘托故事高潮的作用。当故事角色在碰到困难时候，我们往往要加大笔墨来描写故事环境的黑暗、恐怖和不祥。强化环境描写增强了高潮元素，我们感受到了紧张的倍增。例1：Immediately,anabsolutedarknessruledtheforest（黑暗）.Evenworse,thetemperaturesuddenlydroppeddramatically.（寒冷）例2：Itdidn,ttakelongfortheforesttobeenvelopedindarkness（黑暗）.Herrasping（急促的）breathsteamed（寒冷）inthemoonlightandherthroatwasparched（干渴的）fromthirst.1.后续情节一般为故事的高潮或结局，要尽量符合原文思路，设计并发展情节，想象要合理，情节要连贯，并求得与读者的心理共鸣，让读者回味无穷。2.续写时心态要端正，所续写内容要积极、健康向上，把事物美好的一面展示出来。.利用自己已有的知识和经验，在继承原作者风格和语言基础之上，准确、地道地表达，充分展示语言的表现力。提高关联词与过渡语的使用率，增强整句表现力。.如果所给短文为议论文，那么议论文中的段落首句多为主题句，观点鲜明。续写时，要围绕段落分论点确定论证方法，如正反对比、例证等【创新+拓展设计】高考英语题型之读后续写素材整理（8）令美句赏析 ——适用于2021~2023届高考.Hegaspedandclutched(at)hisstomach.他喘着气突然按住自己的胃部。.Fearclutchedatherheart.她突然感到一阵恐惧袭上心头。.Thedooropenedandinwalkedamanwithtwofingersmissingfromhislefthand.「门开了，进来一个人，左手少了两根手指。.Thecaptainspun[spxn]aroundandallthecolordrained[drein]fromhisface.Helookedasifhewasstaringataghost.船长转过身来，所有的颜色都从他脸上消失了。他看起来好像在盯着一个鬼魂。.Harryfeltthecolourdrainfromhisfce.哈里觉得他脸上的血色在消失。.Thentherewasatremendousexplosionofnoise.然后是一阵巨响。.WhenIreturnedIfoundthecaptainlyingonthefloor.Hewasbreathingheavilyandhisfacehadturnedadeathlycolor.Mymothercamerunningdownstairs,butneitherofusknewwhattodo.LuckilyatthatmomentDrLiveseyarrivedtovisitmyfather.我回来时发现船长躺在地板上。他喘着粗气，脸色变得如同死人一般。我妈妈跑下楼来，但我们都不知道该怎么办。幸运的是在那一刻利弗西医生来看望我的父亲。.Onafoggymorning,Iwasstandingbythedoorthinkingaboutmypoorfather,whenIsawsomeonecomingupthehill.Hetappedinfrontofmewithastick,soIguessedhewasblind.一个雾蒙蒙的早晨，我站在门边想我可怜的父亲，这时我突然看见有人上山来。他在我前面用棍子轻敲着地面，因此我猜他是瞎子。.Themomenthehadmyhand,hegrippeditlikeiron.他一握住我的手，就把他的手像铁钳一样抓住我。Hesuddenlyletgoofmeanddartedoutofthedoorwithsurprisingspeed.他突然放开我，以惊人的速度冲出了门。Heclutchedathisthroatandstoodswayingforamoment.Thenwithapeculiar[pkjuli(r)]soundhefellfacedownonthefloor.他抓着他的咽喉，摇摇晃晃地站了一会儿。然后他脸朝下倒在地上，发出一种奇怪的声音。Bitingmylip,Itoreopenhisshirt.Sureenoughtherewasthekey,tiedtoapieceofstring.我咬着嘴唇，撕开了他的衬衫。果然有把钥匙，系在一根绳子上。Icreptupthestairs,tryingnottowakemyparents.为了尽量不吵醒父母，我蹑手蹑脚地上了楼。Thefogwasbeginningtoclearandafullmoonshonebrightly.雾开始消散，满月照耀着。Therewestayed,notdaringtomove,asthevoicesdrewnearerandnearer.随着声音越来越近了，我们呆在那里不敢动。Afterawhile,mycuriositywastoostrongtoresist.Icrawledbackupthebankandhidbehindabush,^^hereIcouldseetheroadtoourdoor.x过了会儿，我的好口J心太强，无法抗拒。我爬回岸边，躲在灌木丛后面，在那里我可以看到我们通向家门口的路。Findingthedooropen,thefourmenrushedintotheinn.Therewasapause,thenacryofsurprise.四个人发现门开着，就冲进旅店。停顿了一下，然后是惊讶的叫喊。Icouldtellthesquirewasonthepointofexploding.我可以看出乡绅快要气炸了。Suddenlythecaptainexplodedwithrage.船长勃然大怒。YoucanimaginetheterrorIfelt.Iwouldhaveleapedoutofthebarrelandrunaway,ifIhadn'tbeenfrozenwithfear.你可以想象我的恐惧。如果不是因为害不能动，我早就从桶里跳出来逃跑了。Itgavemealittlehope,butIwasstillwonderinghowIwasgoingtogetoutoftheapplebarrelalive.Justthenmythoughtswereinterruptedbythecryofthelook-out.这给了我一点希望，但我仍在想，我将如何活着走出苹果桶。就在这时，我的思绪被了望的叫声打断了。Therewasagreatrushoffeetacrossthedeck.Whileeveryonewaseagertocatchaglimpseoftheisland,Islippedoutoftheapplebarrel.甲板上立刻响起了混乱的脚步声。当每个人都急于看一眼这个岛屿时，我从苹果桶里溜了出来。Iwatchedallthisinadream,formyheadwasstillfullofwhatI'dheardintheapplebarrel.我在梦里看到了这一切，因为我的脑子里仍然充满了我在苹果桶里听到的东西。InoddedbutinsideIfeltscaredandhelpless.Itwasplainthatoursituationwasdesperate.我点点头，但内心感到害怕和无助。很显然我们的处境很绝望。FromthatmomentIregrettedwhatI'ddone.I'dactedwithoutthinkingandlandedmyselfingreatdanger.Butitwastoolatetogobacknow从那一刻起，我后悔我所做的一切。我不假思索地采取了行动，使自己陷入了极大的危险之中。但现在回去已经太晚了。Atthispointanideacametome.这时我想到了一个主意。Athisnews,themencameoutoftheirsulk[slk]andgavealoudcheer.听到他的消息，人们从闷闷不乐中走出来，大声欢呼。Hewentofftosulkinhisroom.他回到自己屋里，生起闷气来。ForthefirsttimeIfelttheexcitementofhavinganislandtoexplore.这是我第一次感受到有一个岛屿可以去探索的兴奋。AllatonceaflockofwildducksflewupandIheardvoices.Afraid,Icrawledunderoneofthelargetrees.FrommyhidingplaceIsawtwomencomeintoview.突然，一群野鸭飞了起来，我听到了声音。我感到很害怕，爬到一棵大树下。从我的藏身处我看到两个人出现在我的视线中。Allofasuddenanoisecamefromfaroutintheforest:acryofangerfollowedbyanothersound-ahorriblescream.Therocksechoedwiththesoundandthebirdrose,beatingtheirwingsintheair.突然，森林里传来一阵响声：一声愤怒的喊叫声，接着又是一声可怕的尖叫。岩石发出回声，鸟儿飞起来，在空中拍打着翅膀。Istopped,tryingtothinkwhattodo.ThenIrememberedmyloadedpistolinmypocket.Takingcourage,Iwalkedstraighttowardstheman.我停下来，想着怎么办。然后我想起了我口袋里的手枪。我鼓起勇气，径直走向那个人。Forjustatthatmomentthesilenceoftheislandwasbrokenbycannon-fire.就在那一刻，炮火打破了岛上的寂静。Thisseemedtoputhismindatrest.这似乎让他安心了。Itoldmyplantothecaptainandwesoonputitintoaction.我把我的计划告诉了船长，我们很快就付诸实施了。JustasIwasthinkingthat,Iheardthecryofadyingmanringoutac