the price of salt盐价中英版chapter特走进她的那间旧房注意到第一件东西就是那放平地毯

CHAPTER23THERESEWENTINTOHERoldroom,andthefirstthingshenoticedwasthatthecarpetcornerlayflat.Andhowsmallandtragictheroomlooked.Andyethers,thetinyradioonthebookshelf,andthepillowsonthestudiocouch,asalasasignatureshehadwrittenlongagoand走进那间旧房她注意到的第一件东西就是那放平的地角这房间看起来是多么地窄小和凄楚而且还是书柜上的小个签名一样具有个人特色。Likethetwoorthreesetmodelshangingonthewallsthatshedeliberayavoidedlookingat.比如两三个挂在墙上，她为了避免看到的舞台布景模Shewenttothebankandtookoutahundredofherlasttwohundreddollars,andboughtablackdressandapairofshoes.她去了银行，把她最后的200取了100出来，买了一件黑的裙子和一双鞋子Tomorrow,shethought,shewouldcallAbbyandarrangesomethingaboutCarol'scar,butnottoday.明天，她想，不是今天，她得 给，安排一下把车还回去的事情Thatsameafternoon,shemadeanappointmentwithNedBernstein,theco-produceroftheEnglishshowforwhichHarkevywastodothesets.ShetookthreeofthemodelsshehadmadeintheWestandalsotheSmallRainphotographstoshowhim.AnapprenticejobwithHarkevy,ifshegotit,wouldn'tpayenoughtoliveon,buttherewereothersources,otherthandepartmentstores,anyway.Therewasevision,forinstance.当天下午，她跟·伯恩斯坦预约了，他是那个英语的联合片人维将要替这个做舞台布景她拿了她在西部做好的个模型还《小雨的去给他看假如她成功获得了一份作为Mr.Bernsteinlookedatherworkindifferently.Theresesaidshehadn'tspokentoMr.Harkevyyet,andaskedMr.Bernsteinifheknewanythingabouthistakingonhelpers.Mr.BernsteinsaidthatwasuptoHarkevy,butasfarasheknew,hedidn'tneedanymoreassistants.NeitherdidMr.Bernsteinknowofanyothersetstudiothatneededanyoneatthemoment.AndTheresethoughtofthesixty-dollardress.Andofthehundreddollarsleftinthebank.AndshehadtoldMrs.Osborneshemightshowtheapartmentanytimeshewished,becauseshewasmoving.Theresehadn'tyetanyideawhere.Shegotuptoleave,andthankedMr.Bernsteinanywayforlookingatherwork.Shediditwithas.伯恩斯坦先生冷漠地看着作品说她还没跟维先生的并问伯恩先生他是否知道他要找助手的事情伯恩先生说那要看维了但是据目前他所知道的他不需要助手了伯恩先生也不知道任何此刻需要人手的其他的布景银行里只剩100了她已经告诉过奥斯本太太了任何时候她都可以把公寓挂出去了因为她打算搬走了还没主意要搬到哪去她站起身来要走不管怎样还是谢谢伯恩先生看了作品她示以微笑表示感谢。"Howaboutevision?"Mr.Bernsteinasked."Haveyoutriedtostartthatway?It'seasiertobreakinto."“电视业怎么样？”伯恩先生问，“你有试过走那条路么？这比较容易入行"I'mgoingovertoseesomeoneatDumontlaterthisafternoon."DonohuehadgivenheracoupleofnameslastJanuary.Mr.Bernsteingavehersomemorenames.“今天下午晚去杜蒙特见某个人--1现在给了她几个人的名字。如今伯恩先生给了她人的名字ThensheephonedHarkevy'sstudio.Harkevysaidhewasjustgoingout,butshecoulddrophermodelsbyhisstudiotodayandhecouldlookatthemtomorrowmorning.。然后她 给维维说他刚要出去，但是今天她。以把模型丢到他，明天早上他它们"Bytheway,there'llbeacocktailpartyattheSt.RegisforCranelltomorrowataboutfiveo'clock.Ifyoucaretodropin,"Harkevysaid,withhisstaccatoaccentthatmadehissoftvoiceaspreciseasmathematics,"atleastwe'llbesuretoseeeachothertomorrow.Canyou“顺便说一下，明天5点左右，在为芙·举行一鸡尾酒会假如你有心要顺便过来维说他一顿一顿的嗓音使得他柔软像数学一样精准“至少明天我们肯定能见到其人。你能来么？”"Yes.I'dlovetocome.WhereintheSt.“好。我很乐意来。在哪Hereadfromtheinvitation.SuiteD.Fivetoseveno'clock."Ishallbetherebysix."他念了一下邀套房5点到7我应该6点会到ShelefttheephoneboothfeelingashappyasifHarkevyhadjusttakenherintopartnership.Shewalkedthetwelveblockstohisstudio,andleftthemodelswithayoungmanthere,adifferentyoungmanfromtheoneshehadseeninJanuary.Harkevychangedhisassistantsoften.她离开亭，高兴得好像维已经拉她入伙了一样。她走过个街区到了他的，把模型给了那儿的一个年轻，不是1月Shelookedaroundhisworkroomreverentlybeforesheclosedthe在她关门之前，她恭敬地环视着他的工作间Perhapshewouldlethercomesoon.Perhapsshewouldknow也许他不久就会让她进来。或许她明天就会知道答案ShewentintoadrugstoreonBroadwayandcalledAbbyinNew她走进百老汇上的一家药店， 给在新泽西州的Abby'svoicewasentirelydifferentfromthewayithadsoundedinChicago.Carolmustbemuchbetter,Theresethought.ButshedidnotaskaboutCarol.Shewascallingtoarrangeaboutthecar.完全不同于与之前在芝加哥的那个样子一定是 "Icancomeandgetitifyouwantmeto,"Abbysaid."Butwhydon'tyoucallCarolaboutit?Iknowshe'dliketohearfromyou."Abbywasactuallybendingoverbackward.“假如你想我过来的话，我可以过来取车，”说，“但是你为 "Well--"Theresedidn'twanttocallher.Butwhatwassheafraid“嗯--”不想 给她。但是她在害怕什么呢Carol'svoice?Carolherself?"Allright.I'lltakethecartoher,unlessshedoesn'twantmeto.Inthatcase,I'llcallyouback." 她那个人？“好吧，我会把车给她非她不想我那么做。以防出现这种情况，我会给你 。"When?This“什么时候？今天下"Yes.Inafew“是的，几分钟之后Theresewenttothedoorofthedrugstoreandstoodthereforafewmoments,lookingoutattheCameladvertisementwiththegiantfacepuffingsmokeringslikegiganticdoughnuts,atthelow-slung,sullen-lookingtaxismaneuveringlikesharksintheafter-matineerush,atthefamiliarhodgepodgeofrestaurantandbarsigns,awnings,frontstepsandwindows,thatreddish-brownconfusionofthesidestreetthatwaslikehundredsofstreetsinNewYork.SherememberedwalkinginacertainstreetintheWestEightiesonce,thebrownstonefronts,overlaidandoverlaidwithhumanity,humanlives,somebeginningandsomeendingthere,andsherememberedthesenseofoppressionithadgivenher,andhowshehadhurriedthroughittogettotheavenue.Onlytwoorthreemonthsago.Nowthesamekindofstreetfilledherwithatenseexcitement,madeherwanttoplungeheadlongintoit,downthesidewalkwithallthesignsandtheatermarqueesandrushing,bumpeople.Sheturnedandwalkedbacktotheephonebooths.走到药店门边，在那儿站了好一会，朝着外面看去，看见骆牌香烟 上一张巨大的脸吐出像巨型甜甜圈一样的烟圈她看着低矮的看起来沉闷的出租车列队像完成日场演出后飞跃而过的鲨鱼群看着那杂烩在一起的饭馆酒吧牌雨棚前台阶和窗户红褐的房子杂乱无章地建在街边跟纽约上百条街没什么区别她记得曾经走在西18区的某条街上，一排排的、前面砌着棕色石头的房子类人的生命所覆盖有些人在这儿生有些人在这儿死她记得它带给那种压抑感以及她是怎样匆忙地经过它大街那只是两三个月之前的事现在同样类型的街却让她充满紧张的兴奋感使得她想一头扎进去沿着有着所有标识牌以及剧院大型海报，快速走动并碰撞的人群的街道。她转过身，走回到 隔间Amoentlate,sheheadCaolsvoice.一会后，她听到了"Whendidyougetin,“你什么时候回来的，Therewasabrief,flutteringshockatthefirstsoundofhervoice,andthennothing."Yesterday."第一声，有着一阵简短而颤抖的惊讶，然后什么也没有天。"Howareyou?Doyoustilllookthesame?"Carolsoundedrepressed,asifsomeonemightbewithher,butTheresewassuretherewasnoone””个人可能在她旁边，但 肯定没有人"Notexactly.Do“也没有一模一样。你呢Carolwaited."Yousound等着，“你听起来不一样了"I“是的"AmIgoingtoseeyou?Ordon'tyouwantto.Once."ItwasCarol'svoice,butthewordswerenothers.Thewordswerecautiousanduncertain."Whataboutthisafternoon?Haveyougotthecar?"“我可以去看你么？难道你不想见我。一次。”这声音是的但是这话却不像是这些话谨慎而不确定“今天下午怎么样？你拿到那台车了么？”"I'vegottoseeacoupleofpeoplethisafternoon.Therewon'tbe“今天下午我得去见几个人。没空WhenhadsheeverrefusedCarolwhenCarolwantedtoseeher?"Wouldyoulikemetodrivethecarouttomorrow?"当想见时候，她曾经什么时候过？“你想我天把车开出来"No,Icancomeinforit.I'mnotaninvalid.Didthecarbehave“不，我可以过来取。我还没病成那样。车子还好么"It'singoodshape,"Theresesaid."Noscratches“形状完好 说，“任何地方都没有刮痕。"Andyou?"Carolasked,butTheresedidn'tansweranything."ShallIseeyoutomorrow?Doyouhaveanytimeintheafternoon?"你有时间么TheyarrangedtomeetinthebaroftheRitzToweronFifty-seventhStreet,atfourthirty,andthentheyhungup.她们安排4:30在57街丽晶的酒吧见面，然后她们挂 Carolwasaquarterofanhourlate.Theresesatwaitingforheratatablewhereshecouldseetheglassdoorsthatledintothebar,andfinallyshesawCarolpushopenoneofthedoors,andthetensionbrokeinherwithasmalldullache.Carolworethesamefurcoat,thesameblacksuedepumpsshehadwornthedayTheresefirstsawher,butnowaredscarfsetofftheblondliftedhead.ShesawCarol'sface,thinnernow,alterwithsurprise,withalittles,asCarolcaughtsightofher.了15分钟。坐在一张桌子旁边等她，从那她可。看见领入酒吧的玻璃门她终于看见推开了其中的一条们紧张感忽然了她伴随着一丝丝迟钝的疼痛感穿着红色的丝巾把头发往上包裹着她看见的脸现在瘦了惊讶和一点点笑容交替变换着，当一眼看到她时。。"o,"Therese“哈罗 说"Ididn'tevenknowyouatfirstAndCarolstoodbythetableamoment,lookingather,beforeshesatdown."It'sniceofyoutoseeme."着她，之后她坐下来。“你来见是太好了。"Don'tsay“不要说那样的话。Thewaitercame,andCarolorderedtea.SodidTherese,服务员来了，点了茶，也机械地点了茶"Doyouhateme,Therese?"Carolasked“你恨我么，？”问她"No."TheresecouldsmellCarol'sperfumefaintly,thatfamiliarsweetnessthatwasstrangelyunfamiliarnow,becauseitdidnotevokewhatithadonceevoked.Sheputdownthematchcovershehadbeencrushinginherhand."HowcanIhateyou,Carol?"“不。”能闻到身上淡淡的香水味，熟悉的甜味，现却莫名的陌生因为它没有唤起她它曾经唤起那些东西她放她之前一直捏在手里的火柴盒子。“我怎么会恨你呢，？”"Isupposeyoucould.Youdidforawhile,didn'tyou?"Carolsaid,asifshetoldherafact.“你会恨我。你确实恨了我一阵子，不是么？”说，好她在告诉她一个事实一样"Hateyou?No."Notquite,shemighthavesaid.ButsheknewCarol'seyeswerereadingitinher“恨你？没有谈不上她可能会说但是她知道的眼睛正读着她脸上的表情。"Andnow--you'reallgrownup--withgrown-uphairandgrown-up“现在--你完全长大了--剪着成发型，穿着成衣服。Thereselookedintohergrayeyesthatweremoreseriousnow,somehowwistful,too,despitetheassuranceoftheproudhead,andshelookeddownagain,unabletofathomthem.Shewasstillbeautiful,Theresethoughtwithasuddenpangofloss."I'velearnedafewthings,"Therese审视着她灰色的眼睛，现在眼睛看起来更严肃，多少也想到这个就感觉到一阵忽然极痛的失落“我已经学会了一些事情，”说。“什么"ThatI--"Theresestopped,herthoughtsobstructedsuddenlybythememoryoftheportraitinSiouxFalls.“那是我--”停下来了，思维忽然被有关苏尔福斯的那肖像的给扰乱了"Youknow,youlookveryfine,"Carolsaid."You'vecomeoutallofsudden.Isthatwhatcomesofgettingawayfrom“你知道，你看起来很好，”说，“你一下子就走出来了。这就是你离开我的结果么？”"No,"Theresesaidquickly.Shefrowneddownattheteashedidn't“没有，”迅速地说。她低头朝她不想喝的茶皱着眉头Carol'sphrase"comeout"hadmadeherthinkofbeingborn,anditembarrassedher.Yes,shehadbeenbornsincesheleftCarol.Shehadbeenborntheinstantshesawthepictureinthelibrary,andherstifledcrythenwaslikethefirstyellofaninfant,beingdraggedintotheworldagainstitswill.ShelookedatCarol."TherewasapictureinthelibraryatSiouxFalls,"shesaid.ThenshetoldCarolaboutit,simplyandwithoutemotion,likeastorythathadhappenedtosomebodyelse.“走出来”的措辞让她想到了重生，这令她尴尬。是的，自她离开之后她就重生了在她看见馆那副画的时候她就重生了那时候她被堵住的哭声像一个婴儿的第一声哭（好像不顾它意愿地就把它拖进她看着“在福斯的那个馆里有一张画她说然后她简略地不带任何情感地，像讲述一个发生在别人身上的一个故事般地讲述给听。AndCarollistened,nevertakinghereyesfromherCarolwatchedherasshemighthavewatchedfromadistancesomeoneshecouldnothelp.处看着某个她无法帮助的人一样"Strange,"Carolsaidquietly."And“奇怪，”安静地说，“。"Itwas."ThereseknewCarolunderstood.ShesawthesympathyinCarol'seyes,too,andshesd,butCaroldidnotsback.Carolwasstillstaringather."Whatareyouthinking?"Thereseasked.“是的。”知道了解。她看见了眼中也有同情然后她笑了但是并没有微笑回之还在盯着她“在想什么？”问。Caroltookacigarette."Whatdoyouthink?Ofthatdayinthe拿出一支烟。“对于百货商店的那天，你怎么Theresesdagain."ItwassowonderfulwhenyoucameovertoWhydidyoucometo我走来？”Carolwaited."Forsuchadullreason.Becauseyouweretheonlygirlnotbusyas.Youdidn'thaveasmockeither,Iremember."出于那样一个无聊的原因。因为你是唯一一个的。我记得你也没穿工作服。Thereseburstoutlaughing.Carolonlysd,butshelookedsuddenlylikeherself,asshehadbeeninColoradoSprings,beforeanythinghadhappened.Allatonce,Thereserememberedthecandlestickinherhandbag.爆发出笑声 只是微笑，但是她忽然看起来像她自己像在一切还没发生之前在科罗拉多泉一样忽然想起了手提包里的那个烛台架。"Ibroughtyouthis,"shesaid,handingittoher."IfounditinSioux“我给你买了这个，”她说，一边把它交给她。“我在福斯发它的。Theresehadonlytwistedsomewhitetissuearoundit.Carolopeneditonthetable.只是用了些白色把它包裹了一下在桌子上把它开"Ithinkit'scharming,"Carolsaid."Itlooksjustlike“我觉着挺漂亮的，”说，“它看起来就像你。"Thankyou.Ithoughtitlookedlikeyou."ThereselookedatCarol'shand,thethumbandthetipofthemiddlefingerrestingonthethinrimofthecandlestick,asshehadseenCarol'sfingersonthesaucersofcoffeecupsinColorado,inChicago,andcesforgotten.Thereseclosedhereyes.指指尖搭在烛台架薄薄的边缘上，好像她曾经在科罗拉多，芝加哥和某些忘记了的地方看见过的搭在咖啡杯茶碟上的的手指特雷泽闭上眼。"Iloveyou,"Carol“我爱你 说Thereseopenedhereyes,butshedidnotlook张开眼，但是她没有抬起头"Iknowyoudon'tfeelthesameaboutme.Do“我知道你对我没有同样的感觉，是么Theresehadanimpulsetodenyit,butcouldshe?Shedidn'tfeelthesame."Idon'tknow,Carol."有股想要否认这话的冲动，但是她能吗？她没有同样的感觉“我不知道，。"That'sthesamething."Carol'svoicewassoft,expectant,expectingaffirmationordenial.“那是一回事。“柔和，期待，期待着确认或否定Theresestaredatthetrianglesoftoastonthetebetweenthem.ShethoughtofRindy.Shehadputoffaskingabouther."Haveyouseen盯着她们中间碟子上的三角形烤面包。她想到了。她之迟疑问到关于问题。“你见过么Carolsighed.Theresesawherhanddrawbackfromthecandlestick."YeslastSundayforanhourorso.Isupposeshecancomeandvisitmeacoupleofafternoonsayear.Onceinabluemoon.I'velostcompley."六见了她大约1个小时她可以一年来看我几个下午难得一次我彻底地输了"Ithoughtyousaidafewweeksofthe“我记得你一年有几个星期。"Well,alittlemorehappened--privaybetweenHargeandme.Irefusedtomakealotofpromisesheaskedmetomake.Andthefamilycameintoit,too.Irefusedtolivebyalistofsillypromisesthey'dmadeuplikealistofmisdemeanors--evenifitdidmeanthatthey'dlockRindyawayfrommeasifIwereanogre.Anditdidmeanthat.Hargetoldthelawyerseverything--whatevertheydidn'tknowalready."，，"God,"Theresewhispered.Shecouldimaginewhatitmeant,Rindyvisitingoneafternoon, paniedbyastaringernesswhohadbeenforewarnedagainstCarol,toldnottoletthechildoutofhersight,probably,andRindywouldsoonunderstandallthat.Whatwouldbethepleasureinavisitatall?Harge--Theresedidnotwanttosayhisname."Eventhecourtwaskinder,"shesaid.“天啦，”低声说道。她能想象那意味着什么，要是某下午来看（），她还得由一个盯梢的、事先就会警告，可能告诉她不要让孩子出了视线的监护人，这样不久就会明白所有的一切。那见面还有啥快乐可言呢？-不想说他的名字。“即使比较宽容点，”她说。"Asamatteroffact,Ididn'tpromiseverymuchincourt.Irefusedthere,“事实上，我在也没作出太多的承诺。我也抗拒去那儿。Theresesdalittleinspiteofherself,becauseshewasgladCarolhadrefused,thatCarolhadstillbeenthatproud.不知不觉地面露微笑，因为她很高兴之前了，高还是一如既往的高傲"Butitwasn'tacourt,youknow,justaround-tablediscussion.DoyouknowhowtheymadethatrecordinginWaterloo?Theydroveaeintothewall,probablyjustaboutassoonaswegotthere."“但是那不是，你知道，就是一场圆桌会议。你知道他们是怎在的么？他们把一颗钉子锤进墙里头很可能就是在我刚到那儿的时候锤进去的。”"A“一颗钉子"Irememberhearingsomebodyhammeringsomething.Ithinkitwaswhenwe'djustfinishedintheshower.Doyouremember?"“我记得我听到某个人在锤打着什么东西那时候我们刚洗完澡你记得“不记得了。Carolsd."Aethatpicksupsoundlikeadictaphone.Hehadtheroomnexttous."微笑“一颗像一个机一样刻录声音的钉子。他在我们壁开了一间房Theresedidn'trememberthehammering,buttheofallofitcameback,shattering,destroying--"It'sallover,"Carolsaid."Youknow,I'dalmostprefernottoseeRindyatallanymore.I'mnevergoingtodemandtoseeherifshestopswantingtoseeme.I'lljustleavethatupto不记得那个捶打声了，不过它所有的那种回来了，震碎-“都结束了，”说。“你知道，我几乎宁愿再也不要见到假如她停止要来看我我将绝不会要求要去看她我会把这个留给她来决定。"Ican'timagineherevernotwantingtosee“我没法想象她不想见你。Carol'seyebrowslifted."IsthereanywayofpredictingwhatHargecandotoher?"的眉毛抬起来了。“有任何方法可以预测会对她做什吗Theresewassilent.ShelookedawayfromCarol,andsawaclock.Itwasfivethirty-five.Sheshouldbeatthecocktailpartybeforesix,thought,ifshewentatall.Shehaddressedforit,inthenewblackdresswithawhitescarf,inhernewshoes,withhernewblackgloves.沉默了。她移开了看视线，然后看见了一个钟。5:35了在6Andhowunimportanttheclothesseemednow.ShethoughtsuddenlyofthegreenwoolenglovesthatSisterAliciahadgivenher.Weretheystillintheancienttissueatthebottomofhertrunk?Shewantedtothrowthem现在这身衣服看起来不重要她猛然想起那双修女给绿色羊毛手套它们还是被旧包裹着放在箱底吗？她想把它们给扔了。"Onegetsoverthings,"Carol“一个人会从一些事中恢复过来的，”说“是的"HargeandIaresellingthehouse,andI'vetakenanapartmentuponMadisonAvenue.Andajob,believeitornot.I'mgoingtoworkforafurniturehouseonAvenueasabuyer.Someofmyancestorsmusthavebeencarpenters."ShelookedatTherese."Anyway,it'salivingandI'lllikeit.Theapartment'sanicebigone--bigenoughfortwo.Iwasyoumightliketocomeandlivewithme,butIguessyou“和我正在售卖那栋房子我在麦迪逊大街选了一个公寓并找了份工作，不管你信不信。我将来为14大街上的一家家具屋从事采购工作。我的某些祖先一定是木匠。”她看着。“不管怎样，这是一门营生，并且我将会喜欢上它。那个公寓很大--足够容纳2个人。我希望你愿意来，并跟我一起住，但是我猜你不会。”Therese'shearttookajump,exactlyasithadwhenCarolhadephonedherthatdayinthestore.Somethingrespondedinheragainstherwill,madeherfeelhappyallatonce,andproud.ShewasproudthatCarolhadthecouragetodosuchthings,tosaysuchthings,thatCarolalwayswouldhavethecourage.SherememberedCarol'scourage,facingthedetectiveonthecountryroad.Thereseswallowed,tryingtoswallowthebeatingofherheart.Carolhadnotevenlookedather.CarolwasrubbinghercigaretteendbackandforthintheashtrayTolivewithCarol?的心脏，猛地跳动了一下，就跟那天跟她在百货商店的时候一模一样她内心深处某些东西违背意志做出来了应这让她立马感觉到快乐和骄傲她为有勇气做这样的事情，说这样的事情感到骄傲，也为总是有这样的勇气而感到骄傲。她记得在乡村面对那个时候的勇气吞咽了一下试图把砰砰乱跳的心给吞下去甚至都没看她正在烟灰缸里来回地按擦着烟头。跟住一起？Oncethathadbeenimpossible,andhadbeenwhatshewantedmosttheworld.Tolivewithherandshareeverythingwithher,summerandwinter,towalkandreadtogether,totraveltogether.AndsherememberedthedaysofresentingCarol,whenshehadimaginedCarolaskingherthis,andherselfansweringno.曾经那是不可能的事情，曾经那是她在上最想要的事情。她一起生活跟她一切春夏和秋冬一起散步读书一起旅行。她想起那些的日子，那时候她想象问她这个问题，她自己回答不。"Wouldyou?"Carollookedat“你愿意么？”看着她Theresefeltshebalancedonathinedge.Theresentmentwasgone感觉她在一条薄边上保持平衡。现在了Nothingbutthedecisionremainednowathinlinesuspendedintheair,withnothingoneithersidetopushherorpullher.Butontheoneside,Carol,andontheotheranemptyquestionmark.Ontheoneside,Carol,anditwouldbedifferentnow,becausetheywerebothdifferent.Itwouldbeaworldasunknownastheworldjustpasthadbeenwhenshefirstenteredit.Onlynow,therewerenoobstacles.TheresethoughtofCarol'sperfumethattodaymeantnothing.Ablanktobefilledin,Carolwouldsay.现在只剩下决定了，一条薄线悬挂在空气中，两边都没有东西去推或者拉她。但是一边是，另一边是一个空的疑问号。的那边，现在不同了，因为她们两个都变了。它是一个未知的世界跟过去她第一次进入的那个世界一样未知。只是现在，没有了。"Well,"Carolsaidsmiling,“好，”微笑着不耐烦地说道"No,"Theresesaid."No,Idon'tthinkso."Becauseyouwouldbetraymeagain.ThatwaswhatshehadthoughtinSiouxFalls,whatshehadintendedtowriteorsay.ButCarolhadnotbetrayedher.Carollovedhermorethanshelovedherchild.Thatwaspartofthereasonwhyshehadnotpromised.Shewasgamblingnowasshehadgambledongettingeverythingfromthedetectivethatdayontheroad,andshelostthen,too.AndnowshesawCarol'sfacechanging,sawthelittlesignsofastonishmentandshocksosubtlethatperhapsonlysheintheworldcouldhavenoticedthem,andTheresecouldnotthinkforamoment.这就是她之前在福斯想的这就是她那时候打算写下来或说出的话但是没有背叛她爱她胜过孩子这就是为什么她没有承诺的一部分原因她现在是在赌就像那天在那条她赌从那拿走一切一样那时她也输了现在她看见脸上的变化看见一点点和惊讶的迹象如此的微妙以至于也许这世上只有她才能注意到它们，一时间无法思考了。"That'syourdecision,"Carol“这就是你的决定，”说“是的Carolstaredathercigarettelighteronthetable."That's盯着桌子上打火机。“那就这样吧。Thereselookedather,wantingstilltoputoutherhands,totouchCarol'shairandtoholdittightinallherfingers.Hadn'tCarolheardtheindecisioninhervoice?Theresewantedsuddenlytorunaway,torushquicklyoutthedooranddownthesidewalk.Itwasaquartertosix.看着她，还想伸出手来，的头发，然后用手抓紧它难道没有听出嗓音中的犹豫不决么？忽然想离，快速地冲出门口，往下跑到人行道上。5:45了"I'vegottogotoacocktailpartythisafternoon.It'simportantbecauseofapossiblejob.Harkevy'sgoingtobethere."Harkevywouldgivehersomekindofajob,shewassure.Shehadcalledhimatnoontodayaboutthemodelsshehadleftathisstudio.Harkevyhadlikedthemall."Igotaevisionassignmentyesterday,too."“今天下午我还得去一个鸡尾酒会。它很重要，因为可能（因此而到一份工作维要去那儿她敢确定维会给她一份工作。今天中午她已经打过给他那些她已经放在了他的的模型维喜欢她所有的模型“我昨天也接到了一个电视的活Carolliftedherhead,smiling."Mylittlebigshot.Nowyoulookyoumghtdosomethinggood.oyoukno,evenyourvoiceisdieent?"微笑着抬起头“我的小小大人物现在你看起来你可以做些大事情了。，甚至你都是与众不同的？”"Isit?"Theresehesitated,findingitharderandhardertosit“真的？”犹豫了，发现越来越难以坐在那儿了"Carol,youcouldcometothepartyifyouwantto.It'sabigpartyinacoupleofroomsata ingthewomanwho'sgoingtodotheleadinHarkevy'sy.Iknowtheywouldn'tmindifIbroughtsomeone."Andshedidn'tknowquitewhyshewasaskingher,whyCarolwouldpossiblywanttogotoacocktailpartynowanymorethanshedid.“，假如你想，你可以去那个聚会的。它是一个蛮大的聚会在旅馆的好几间房里--欢迎扮演维的剧目中女主角的那个女人为什么要问（为什么可能现在会想去一个鸡尾酒会。Carolshookherhead."No,thanks,darling.You'dbetterrunalongbyyourself.I'vegotadateattheElyseeinaminuteasamatteroffact."已经在爱丽舍宫约了人了，等会得去赴约。Theresegatheredherglovesandherhandbaginherlap.ShelookedatCarol'shands,thepalefrecklessprinkledontheirbacks--theweddingringwasgonenow--andatCarol'seyes.Shefeltshewouldneverseeagain.Intwominutes,less,theywouldpartonthesidewalk."Thecar'soutside.Outinfronttotheleft.Andhere'sthekeys."特雷拿起了手套和放在她膝盖上的手提包。她看着的手它们的背上撒着淡淡的雀斑-现在没了结婚戒子-看着的脸。她感觉她将再也见不到了两分钟之后最少她们会在人行道人上分开。“那辆车在外面。出门往左前方。这是。”"Iknow,Isaw“我知道了，我看见它了。"Areyougoingtostayon?"Thereseaskedher."I'lltakecareofthe“你要再待会么？”问她。“我去结账。"I'lltakecareofthecheck,"Carolsaid."Goon,ifyouhave“我会结账的，”说，“去吧，假如你不得不去的话。Theresestoodup.Shecouldn'tleaveCarolsittinghereatthetablewheretheirtwoteacupswere,withtheashesoftheircigarettesinfrontofher."Don'tstay.Comeoutwithme."Carolglancedupwithakindofquestioningsurpriseinherface."Allright,"shesaid."Thereareacoupleofthingsofyoursoutatthehouse.ShallI--""Itdoesn'tmatter,"Thereseinterruptedher."Andyourflowers.Yournts."Carolwaspayingthecheckthewaiterhadbroughtover."WhathappenedtotheflowersIgave站起来。她不能留 坐在那儿，那儿的桌子上放着她西，放在房子外边。我应该--”“就放在那儿吧，”打断她，"Theflowersyougaveme--theydied."Carol'seyesmethersforasecond,andThereselookedaway.Theypartedonthesidewalk,atthecornerofParkAvenueandFifty-seventhStreet.Thereseranacrosstheavenue,justmakingitaheadofthegreenlightsthatreleasedapackofcarsbehindher,thatblurredherviewofCarolwhensheturnedontheothersidewalk.Carolwaswalkingslowlyaway,pasttheRitzTowerdoorway,andon.Andthatwasthewayitshouldbe,Theresethought,notwithalingeringhandclasp,notwithbackwardglances.ThenasshesawCaroltouchthehandleofthecardoor,sherememberedthebeercanstillunderthefrontseat,remembereditsclinkasshehaddrivenuptherampfromtheLincolnTunnelcomingintoNewYork.Shehadthoughtthen,shemustgetitoutbeforeshegavethecarbacktoCarol,butshehadforgotten.“你给我的那些花--它们死了。”一瞬间，她俩四目相触，开视线。她们在公园大道和57大道的拐角处的人行道上分开。特。泽跑着穿过那条大道赶在那管控她身后一排车子通过的绿灯亮起前当她转上另外一条人行道时模糊了她看的视线慢慢地走开了经过丽晶塔门口继续往前本该就这样， 想没。有不舍的握手没有回眸顾盼然后当她看见触到车门的手把她想起还座下面的啤酒罐，想起当之前开车从林肯隧道进纽约，之前，她一定要把它拿出去，但是她却忘了。Theresehurriedontotheho匆忙地朝着旅馆走去Peoplewerealreadyspillingoutofthetwodoorwaysintothehallandawaiterwashavingdifficultypushinghisrollingtableoficebucketsintotheroom.Theroomswerenoisy,andTheresedidnotseeBernsteinorHarkevyanywhere.Shedidn'tknowanyone,notasoul.Exceptonefaceamanshehadtalkedtomonthsago,somewhere,aboutajobthatdidn'tmaterializeThereseturnedaround.Amanpokedatallglassintoherhand.她不认识任何人，（也）无人（识她）。除了一张脸，一个，个月之前她跟他在某个地方谈过一份不太实际的工作转过身那个装着冰桶的滚动桌进入房间房间很吵杂在任何地方没见到伯恩或者维。一个把一个高跟杯戳到她手里。"Mademoiselle,"hesaidwithaflourish."Areyoulookingforoneof“，”他兴奋地说道，“你正在找他们中的一个人么"Thankyou."Shedidn'tstaywithhim.ShethoughtshesawMr.Bernsteinoverinthecorner.Therewereseveralwomenwithbighatsinthe"Areyouanactress?"thesamemanaskedher,thrustingwithherthroughthecrowd.“你是女演员么？”那个问她，推着她挤过人群"No.Astage“不是。舞台设计者ItwasMr.Bernstein,andTheresesidledbetweenacoupleofgroupsofpeopleandreachedhim.Mr.Bernsteinheldoutaplump,cordialhandtoher,andgotupfromhisradiatorseat.那是伯恩，从两拨人中滑过，走到他旁边。伯恩向举起一只胖胖的，兴奋的手，从他的散热器座位上站起来"MissBelivet!"heshouted."Mrs.Crawford,themake-upconsultant-"“碧利薇！”他叫道，“克劳福德夫人，化妆顾问--"Let'snottalkbusiness!"Mrs.Crawford“我们不要谈工作！”克劳福德夫人尖声说道"Mr.Stevens,Mr.Fenelon,"Mr.Bernsteinwenton,andonandon,untilshewasnoddingtoadozenpeopleandsaying"Howdoyoudo?"toabouthalfofthem."AndIvor--Ivor!"Mr.Bernsteincalled.“斯蒂文斯先生，费内先生，”伯 继续介绍着，直到她跟中大约半数的人都点头并说“你好！”时，他才停下来。“还--！”伯恩呼唤道TherewasHarkevy,aslimfigurewithaslimfaceandasmallmustache,smilingather,reachingahandoverforhertoshake."o,"hesaid,"I'mgladtoseeyouagain.Yes,Ilikedyourwork.Iseeyouranxiety."那是维，一个有着消瘦的脸，一小撮胡子的身影，朝着她微笑我喜欢你的作品。我看见了你的不安。”Helaugheda他稍稍笑了一"Enoughtoletmesqueezein?"she“足够让我挤进去么？”她"Youwanttoknowhesaid,smiling.YesyoucansqueezeinComeuptomystudiotomorrowatabouteleven.Canyoumakethat?"“你想知道，”他笑着说到，“是的，你能挤进来。11点左右来我。这个你能做到么“能"Comeandjoinmelater.Imustsaygood-bytothesepeoplewhoareleaving."Andhewentaway.“待会过来，和我一起。我得去跟那些正要离开的人打个招呼。后他走Theresesetherdrinkdownontheedgeofatable,andreachedforacigaretteinherhandbag.Itwasdone.Sheglancedatthedoor.Awomanwithupsweptblondhair,withbright,intenseblueeyeshadjustcomeintotheroomandwascausingasmallfurorofexcitementaroundher.Shehadquick,positivemovementsassheturnedtogreetpeople,toshakehands,andsuddenlyThereserealizedshewasGenevieveCranell,theEnglishactresswhowastoythelead.ShelookeddifferentfromthefewstillsTheresehadseenofher.Shehadthekindoffacethatmustbeseeninactiontobeattractive.把酒杯安置在桌子边上，伸手进手提包里拿烟。烟转身跟人问好握手时动作迅速而积极忽然她就是芙扮演主角的英国女演员她看起来跟她看见过的一些剧照不一样她有着一张一定在动作片出现过的相当吸引人的脸。"o,o!"shecalledtoeveryonefinallyassheglancedaroundtheroom,andTheresesawtheglancelingeronherforaninstant,whileinTheresetheretookceashockalittlelikethatshehadknownwhenshehadseenCarolforthefirsttime,andtherewasthesameflashofinterestinthewoman'sblueeyesthathadbeeninherown,sheknew,whenshesawCarol.AndnowitwasTheresewho-tolook,andthewomanwhoglancedaway,andturned看见那目光在她身上停留了一会然后一惊感觉那种激灵有点像她第一次见到时的那种在那个女蓝色的眼睛里闪现着对她自己有的光芒她见过当她看到的时候。现在是继续看着，而另一个女人移开了视线并转身走了。Thereselookeddownattheglassinherhand,andfeltasuddenheatinherfaceandherfingertips,therushinsideherthatwasneitherquiteherbloodnorherthoughtsalone.SheknewbeforetheywereintroducedthatthiswomanwaslikeCarol.Andshewasbeautiful.Andshedidnotlooklikethepictureinthelibrary.Theresesdasshesippedherdrink.Shetookalongpullatthedrinktosteadyherself.低头看着她手中的玻然感觉脸上和手指尖上有股流那股内在的急流既不是是血液也不单单是思绪在她们还没被介绍认识之前她知道这个女人像她是美丽的不像馆里的那副画微笑着当她抿着酒时她喝了一大口酒用来平复自己。"Aflower,madame?"Awaiterwasextendingatrayfullofwhite“来支花么，夫人？”一个服务员正展开一托盘的白色兰花"Thankyouverymuch."Theresetookone.Shehadtroublewiththepin,andsomeone--Mr.FenelonorMr.Stevensitwas--cameupand“非常谢谢你。”拿了一支。她被花刺刺到了，某个人--费内"Thanks,"she“谢谢，”她GenevieveCranellwascomingtowardher,withMr.Bernstein芙·正朝着她走来，她身后跟着伯恩先生TheactressgreetedthemanwithThereseasifsheknewhimvery女演员跟一起跟那个打招呼，好像他两很熟似的"DidyoumeetMissCranell?"Mr.Bernsteinasked“你见过了么？”伯恩问Thereselookedatthewoman."MynameisThereseBelivet."Shetookthehandthewomanextended.看着女人。“我叫·碧利薇。”她握住那个女人伸过的手"Howdoyoudo?Soyou'retheset“你好!所以你是布景部门"No.Onlypartofit."Shecouldstillfeelthehandclaspwhenthewomanreleasedherhand.Shefeltexcited,wildlyandstupidlyexcited.能感觉到那个握手。她觉着疯狂的兴奋，和有点傻气的兴奋"Isn'tanybodygoingtobringmeadrink?"MissCranellasked“没有人去给我拿杯酒么？”问到MrBernsteinobliged.MrBernsteinfinishedintroducingMissCranelltothepeoplearoundhimwhohadn'tmether.Thereseheardherlsomeonethatshehadjustgottenoffaneandthatherluggagewaspiledinthelobby,andwhileshespoke,Theresesawherglanceatheracoupleoftimespastthemen'sshouldersTheresefeltanexcitingattractionintheneatbackofherhead,inthefunny,carelessliftofhernoseattheend,theonlycarelessfeatureofhernarrow,classicface.Herlipswereratherthin.Shelookedextremelyalert,andimperturbablypoised.YetTheresesensedthatGenevieveCranellmightnottalktoheragainatthepartyforthesimplereasonthatsheprobablywantedto.Theresemadeherwaytoawallmirror,