高分满分作文借鉴

PAGEPAGE4名校高分满分作文借鉴话题一：旅游／风俗习惯外国友人来信咨询在北京要注意的风土人情和文化习俗，请你写一封回信介绍并提醒他在北京需要注意的风俗习惯并如何得体的表现，包括打招呼、餐桌礼仪及家庭法则。提示词：Greetingtablemannershomerules范文一：（101中学15分）Howtobehavewhenwearetravelling Nowadays,moreandmoreChinesepeopleprefertotravelaroundtheworld.TheybringtheChinesetraditionalvirtueabroad,butatthesametime,someoftheirbehaviorsreallydamageChinesereputationintheworld.It’snecessaryforustolearnhowtobehavewhenwe’retravelling. Aboveall,we’resupposedtobecivilizedwhilevisitingfamousplaces.Insteadofdoingboringthingslikecuttingnamesonhistoricalsites,listeningtotheguidesareencouragedinordertoshowourrespectforthecountry.It’salsoabadbehaviortotakephotossecretlywithoutpermission.Intherestaurant,it’simpolitetotalkwithfriendsloudly,whichmayannoyothers.Whydon’twelearnsomepolitewordsinforeignlanguageandtrytocommunicatewithlocalpeople?Thisreallyhelpsustohaveabetterunderstandingaboutdifferentcultures. Whyarewesupposedtodoso?Goodmannersmakeourtourmorecomfortableandpleasant.Asweallwanttohaveaharmoniousenvironmenttolivein,politebehaviorsleaveagoodimpressiononeverybody’sheart.OurcoursesaresymbolofChina,andeachChineseshouldpayhisowneffort.（189字）点评：整体看，作者运用长句的能力很强，而且文章的组织性很强，内容很充实，全篇无语法错误再加上高级的长句运用，当然必须满分。开篇内容很充实，有标黄长句，用词地道，搭配贴切，给评委很好的第一印象。中间标红句子运用without这一小词非常地道。结尾部分也有标黄长句，再次形成前后呼应，开头结尾都有高级长句坐镇，所以文章从内容从形式上都是一流水准。实用借鉴词组及句型：bringtheChinesetraditionalvirtueabroad把中国美德带到国外damageChinesereputationintheworld破坏中国在国际上的名声haveabetterunderstandingof…更好掌握…it’salsoabadbehaviorto…=wearenotsupposedto…不建议做某事wanttohaveaharmoniousenvironmenttolivein想要有一个和谐的生存环境besymbolofsth.是某事的象征sth.leaveagoodimpressiononeverybody’sheart.某事在某人心中留下好的印象insteadofdoingsth,doingsth.isencouragedinorderto…与其做某事（不好的事）…做某事（好事）是值得鼓励的，因为这样可以（后加好处）范文二：（101中学15分）Howtobeacivilizedtourist FromtimetotimeitwasreportedthatChinesetouristbehavebadlywhentravelling.Itseemsparticularlyimportanttotelleveryonehowtobeacivilizedtouristnow.Firstofall,weareobligatedtoactproperly,orrather,bepoliteandfollowlocalruleswhentravelling.Obviously,litteringanddamaginghistoricalsitesbyengravingletters,whicharecommonamongtourist,arehateful.Wearedefinitelynotsupposedtodoso.Tobecivilized,weshouldbehavepolitely.Aswell-educatedpeople,touristarenotsupposedtotalkloudlyinpublic,whichisreallyannoying.Inaddition,Isuggestlearningsomelocalcustomsbeforewegotravelling,sothatwewon’tbreaktherulesunconsciouslywhentravelling.Thelocalswillbegladtoseeusbehaveintheirwaysandwe’llfeelalotmorerelaxedtoenjoyourtrip,avoidingthecaseswhenwe’reblindabouthowtobehaveproperlyandpolitely.Theseareallabouthowtobecivilizedtourists.Andweshouldneverignorethatourbehaviorsnotonlyrepresentourpersonalqualitiesandmanners,theyalsosymbolizethequalitiesofweChinese.（185字）点评：这篇文章没有上一篇好，原因在于没有分段。层次性不够强。句型相对比较单一，长句结构不够丰富使用的高级词汇以及地道用法也不如上一篇多但这篇还是得到满分的主要在于无语法错误，表示建议类的句型比较丰富，并且句型在使用的时候比较地道的体现在于有插入语的运用。实用借鉴词组及句型：Itseemsparticularlyimportantto…做某事看起来尤其重要tobeacivilizedtourist做一个文明的游客weareobligatedtoactproperly我们有责任举止妥当breaktherulesunconsciously无意中没有遵守规则Thelocalswillbegladtoseeusbehaveintheirways按照当地人的做事风格来做会让他们很开心。（此处如果能引用DoasRomansdo也不错。）representourpersonalqualities代表我们的个人品行symbolizethequalitiesofweChinese.代表我们中国人的品行（注意这里两个代表“represent”和“symbolize”体现词汇的丰富性）范文三：（101中学14分）work.Notonlyisshearesponsibleperson,butalsosheisveryoptimisticandoftenencouragesustoworkharderwhenwefeeldown.Lastbutnotleast,sheisthoughtfulandpatientandisalwaystheretohelpuswhenwecomeacrossproblemseitherwithourstudiesorwithourlives. Forexample,onceIgotveryanxiousbeforethefinalexambecauseIalwaysmadesmallmistakesinmytasksandhomework.Aftershelearnedaboutthis,sheinvitedmetositnexttoherandspentalongtimetalkingwithmeandgivingmeadviceonhowtokeepcalm,whichhelpedmefacetherealityandimprovemyselfmorequickly. Fromher,Ihavelearnedbothknowledgeandgoodvirtues.Herbehavioralwaysremindsmetobeoptimisticinfaceofdifficultiesandtobepatientwiththepeoplearoundme.Fortheseresons,sheiswithoutdoubtthebestheroinmyheart.（203字）点评： 这篇文章之所以成为人大附的高分范文，最主要的原因在于作者能够很好的将要点融入到高级的长难句当中，并且全文无语法错误，通读下来十分流畅，思路清晰，层次分明，表达高级。实用借鉴词组及句型：IhavealwaysregardedmyEnglishteacherasmyherobecauseofherpatientandkindness.我总是把我的英语老师当成我的英雄，因为她的耐心和友好。Notonlyisshearesponsibleperson,butalsosheisveryoptimisticandoftenencouragesustoworkharderwhenwefeeldown.不仅因为她是一个负责的人，还因为她乐观的态度并且经常在我们失落的时候鼓励我们。（此句以notonly开头语法上需要倒装，后面butalso运用正常语序即可，并且作者并不满足于知识套用这个句型而是继续把句子写长加上了when引导的时间状语从句）sheisthoughtfulandpatientandisalwaystheretohelpuswhenwecomeacrossproblemseitherwithourstudiesorwithourlives.她思虑周全又有耐心，还经常在我们遇到学习或生活中的困难时帮助我们。（此句又是一个成功的长句，首先是thoughtful和patient这些小词用的精准贴切，其次是不仅运用when引导时间状语从句还有either…or…和准确运用。）infaceofdifficulties面对困难Sb.iswithoutdoubt…某人毫无疑问是…范文二：（人大附12分） Everyonehashisheroinhisheart.Myheroismyteacher－Ms.Gao.Sheiskindandhelpful.AndIstillremembertheexperiencethatmademegetbackmyconfidenceinthenation-wideEnglishspeechcompetitionlastyear. Atfirst,Ididn’tknowwhattowriteformyspeech,butaftertalkingtomyteacherandreadingsomebooks,IhadsomeideasandwithMs.Gao’shelp,Ipracticemyspeechmanytimes.Onthedayofthecompetition,Isawmanypeoplethereandthismademefeelverynervous.IstartedtoworrythatIwouldforgetmyspeech.ThenIrememberwhatMs.Gaotoldme－closemyeyesandtakedeepbreaths.Ididthatanditmademefeelmuchbetter.Whenmyturncame,Igavemyspeechwithconfidence.IwaitedanxiouslyfortheresultandwhenIheardthatIwasthefirstpricewinner,Ijumpedupanddowninjoy. Inaword,sheisaniceandhelpfulteacherinmyheart.Sheisarealheroinmyheart.（186字）点评：这篇文章首先比较好的一点是内容完整，讲述的故事的阐释力比较强，但是没有能上一档文的一个重要原因在于写的比较保守，词汇运用比较简单，短句较多，让人眼前一亮的长句少，几乎没有。结尾也比较简单。实用借鉴词组及句型：Istillremembertheexperiencethatmademegetbackmyconfidenceinthenation-wideEnglishspeechcompetitionlastyear.我依然记得的一次经历是去年国家级英语演讲比赛时让我重拾信心。（作为这篇文章中仅有两个好句中的一个长句，首先由that定语从句，后面还加上了地点和时间状语）IwaitedanxiouslyfortheresultandwhenIheardthatIwasthefirstpricewinner,Ijumpedupanddowninjoy.我焦急地等待结果，当我听到自己获得第一名的时候高兴得跳起来。Jumpupanddowninjoy开心地跳上跳下话题三：你是否符合“文明之星”范文一：（101中学12月考15分） Ithinkmybehaviorsurelymeetthestandardofbeing“astarstudentofcivility”.Iampoliteandmodestallthetime.Ihavenevertalkedbacktomyparentsathomeeveniftheyarestronglyagainstmyidea.Besides,Ineverbreakinwhiletheyarevoicingtheiropinions.What’smore,Ineverfailtokeepawayfromdirtywords.Indeed,Ineverinsultorlookdownuponothers.Inaddition,Ilovehelpingothers.I’malwayseagertohelppeoplearoundmewhentheyhavedifficulties.Onweekends,Ialsotakeoversomehouseworkfrommyparents,likesweepingandmoppingthefloor. I’mwillingtobelikethatanddothesethings.Politenessisanobvioussymbolofcivilizationandtherewillbenodifferencesbetweenhumansandanimalsifeveryoneisrude.IalsoconsiderhelpingothersawonderfulthingwhenothersbenefitfrommyhelpandIgetgreatpleasureatthesametime.Helpingothers,ashaslongbeenpraisedasamorality,playsanindispensableroleincivility. Ineverfeeltiredorfed-upwhenIdosuchthings,thoughsometimesthey’reexhaustingorevenpains-taking.I’mhappytobelikewhatIamtodayandthemoreI’mpoliteandhelpful,themoreIgetencouragedtocarryon.Ireallyenjoycivility. IthinkI’mqualifiedtobea“starstudentofcivility”,Iwouldbeverygladifyouchooseme.Thanksalot.(246字)点评：这篇文章从整体，从每一句话的细节上都有可圈可点的地方，唯一的一个小瑕疵就是字数偏多，应该控制在215字左右会更佳。整篇文章结构清晰，思路完整，内容丰富，搭配和表达都很地道，很多长句很高级并且包含很多高级词汇，是一篇难得的佳作。实用借鉴词组及句型：meetthestandardof…符合…的标准againstone’sopinion反对某人的建议eagertohelppeoplearoundmewhentheyhavedifficulties.渴望帮助我身边的人，当她们遇到困难的时候。takeoversomehousework掌管一些家务活likesweepingandmoppingthefloor.比如扫地拖地。playsanindispensablerolein...在…中扮演不可或缺的角色Ineverfeeltiredorfed-upwhenIdosuchthings,thoughsometimesthey’reexhaustingorevenpains-taking.当我做这些事的时候我从来不会觉得累或者厌倦，虽然这些事有时候令人疲倦甚至煞费人苦心。Carryon继续bequalifiedto…有资格做某事IalsoconsiderhelpingothersawonderfulthingwhenothersbenefitfrommyhelpandIgetgreatpleasureatthesametime.我把帮助别人看成是一件很美妙的事情，当我能帮助他们获益并且我自己也能从中收获快乐。话题四：假期生活及新学期打算范文一：人大附 ThissummervacationIwenttoKenyawithmyfather.Itisabeautifulcountrywhichhasalotofwildanimals.Wetookacarandsawagreatnumberofgnusandelephantseatinggrass.Thefoodtherewereverydelicious.WetriedmanykindsoftraditionalEnglishdinerinKenya.Afterdinnerwealwaystookawalkaroundthehotelandenjoyedtheviewoftheskywhichwasfilledwithstars.Inaword,IhadaverygoodtimeinKenya! Asforthenewterm,Ihavealreadymadeseveralplans.Letmetellyousome!Firstly,I’mgoingtolearnwaterpainting.Ithinkit’llbeabitdifficultforme,butIdecidetohaveatry.What’smore,IplantoreadafantasticEnglishbooknamedJaneEyre.ItwillhelpmeimprovemyEnglish. Howaboutyou?Wheredidyougoonyousummervacation?Doyouhaveanyplanforthenewterm?Writetomesoonandtellmesomeofyourplans.(176字)点评：这篇范文很突出的一个点在于语言表达的自然流畅，前后衔接过渡好，具备良好的英语表达能力，并且有运用长句的意识，全文三个部分层次分明，内容充实。实用借鉴词组及句型：enjoytheviewofsth.欣赏…的美景takeawalk散步fantastic极好的Afterdinnerwealwaystookawalkaroundthehotelandenjoyedtheviewoftheskywhichwasfilledwithstars.晚饭后，我们总是在酒店附近散散步，欣赏繁星满天的美景。话题五；向外国人介绍中国礼仪whatareyousupposedtodowhenyoumeetsomeoneforthefirsttime?whatshouldyoudowhenolderpeopleareatthedinnertable?Whatdoyouusuallydotobepoliteathomeandatschool?WhatisthemostimportanttogetalongwithpeopleinChina?范文一；（人大附） AsthemannersinAmericaisnotexactlyparalleltooursinChina,it’smypleasuretoinformyouofourcustoms.Whenwemeetforthefirsttime,it’sacceptabletoshakehandswitheachother.We‘renotsupposedtohavemealsuntilolderpeoplestarttoeat,andatthesametime,wechildrenshouldlowerourcupsabitasamarkofrespect. Besides,wekeeppolitebothathomeandatschool.Insteadofaskingparentsforhelpfromtimetotime,servingthemacupofteamaybeofhelptodriveawaytheirtiredness.Peopletalkingbacktotheirparentsareconsideredasimpoliteguys,andwealwaysvolunteertotakeonhouseworkduringourfreetime.Atschool,werespectaltheclassmatesandteachers.Andevenifweshineatsomething,we’reexpectedtobemodestallthetime,whichisseenasatraditionalvirtue. Doyoufeeluneasywhilereadingtheseendlessmanners?Actually,thelocalpeopleareveryeasytogetalongwith,aslongasyou’repoliteandfriendly,whichisthemostimportant. ApleasantlifeinBeijingishand-in-handwithyourgoodbehaviors.Isuggestyoufollowthesecustoms.Iguessthereliesmydutytohelp! Ihopeyou’llenjoyyourselfinBeijing.（221字）点评：这篇范文最突出的特点就是能够熟练套用各类建议类的句型且无语法错误，句型多样。此外整篇文章的衔接自然，思路层次比较清晰，内容完整，表达流畅，有很强的借鉴性。实用借鉴词组及句型：beparallelto与…平行it’sacceptableto…做某事是可接受的sb.supposedto…某人应该做某事asamarkof…是…的标志insteadofdoingsth,doingsth.maybeofgreathelpto…与其做某事，不如做某事来…beconsideredas被认为是sb.suggestssb.(should)dosth.建议某人做某事Actually,thelocalpeopleareveryeasytogetalongwith,aslongasyou’repoliteandfriendly,whichisthemostimportant.事实上，当地人都很好相处，只要你能够有礼貌并且友好，这才是最重要的。范文二：（人大附） I’mgladtohearfromyou.WelcometoBeijing.IamgladtotellyousomeimportantmannersinChina. Tobeginwith,it’salwaysimportanttogivepeopleagoodfirstimpression,sowearesupposedtogreetpeoplebyshakinghandsinsteadofhugging.Besides,wearenotexpectedtocallsomeone’snamedirectly.Thereisalsosomethingyouneedtorememberwhenolderpeopleareatthedinnertable.It’snecessaryforustostarteatingafterolderpeople.Inaddition,wearesupposedtoholdourcupslowerthantheolderpeople’swhenwecheertogether. Iholdtheviewthatitisimportantforustobepolitebothatschoolandathome.Asforme,Ineverfailtogreetteachersnomatterwearefamiliarornot.What’smore,Ialwayshelpclassmatesinneedforthat’swhatfriendshipreallymeans.Besidesthat,I’mgladtohelpmyparentstodohouseworkathome,foritcanreleasetheirpleasurefromwork.Lastbutnotleast,Inevertalkbacktomyparentsathome. Tosumup,IbelievethemostimportantthingtogetalongwithChinesepeopleistorespectthem.Chinesepeoplearequietwarm-heartedandifyouhaveanydifficulties,don’tbenervoustoaskforhelp. IhopeyouenjoyyourselfinBeijing.(227字)点评：首先这篇范文最好的一个值得其他考生学习的一个点在于它的衔接词，非常丰富并且符合语境，上文中标紫色的均是（tobeginwith;besides;inaddition;asforme;what’smore;besidesthat;lastbutnotleast;tosumup）此外对于同一语意，作者也尽量多用不同的表达法，例如Ibelieve和Iholdtheviewthat…,并且还有表示建议类的多种表达法的句型课参照下面。实用借鉴词组及句型：wearesupposedtogreetpeoplebyshakinghandsinsteadofhugging.我们应该在与人问候时握手而不是拥抱。（这句话与一般同学写的weshouldshakehandswithothers要高级的地方在于首先“应该”换成了besupposedto其次后面还有一个insteadof加长句子）beexpectedto=besupposedto=itisnecessaryto这三个表达法都可以运用到建议类的书写中sb.neverfailto…某人从不错失机会去…tosumup=inconclusion=allinall=inone/aword表示总结的段落可以用这几个开头。warm-heartedr热心的话题六：最喜欢的礼物范文一：2中14分 Ihavereceivedalotofpresentsbutmyfavoriteoneisanice-creamcakewhichwassentbymybestfriend. WegotinafightonedayandIwasverysad.Ithoughtshewouldnevertalkwithme.Buttomysurprise,shecametovisitmeandbroughtmeanice-creamcakewhichwaswithcookiesandchocolatesonit.ThecakewaslovelyandIwasmoved.Wesharedthecaketogetherandwhenthesmoothandfrozenice-creamrushedintomymonth,IthoughtIhavetastedthefriendship. Thecakeismyfavoritegiftever.（102字）点评：这篇文章最好的一个点在于取材，内容很感人，书写流畅，无语法错误，所以读过来十分享受的同时，作者又很好地阐释啦自己最喜欢的礼物，美中不足的是字数相对较少，内容上应该再多一些扩充，特别是最后的感想关于友谊的部分可以再展开。实用借鉴词组及句型：getinafight闹别扭toone’ssurprise让某人吃惊的是tas