大学英语3 第五章

UnitFive

Parents’Love

Myheroesareandweremyparents,Ican’tseehavinganyoneelseasmyheroes.—MichaelJordan我的父母现在和以前一直是我的英雄，我实在看不出还有其他什么人可作为我的英雄。—迈克尔.乔丹MichaelJordan(1963--),NBAsuperstarandoneofthebestplayers,six-timeNBAchampion,two-timeOlympicgoldmedalist.NextUnit5Parents’LoveParents’loveisthemostprofoundemotionintheworld.Parentstakecareofus,feedusandsupportuswiththeirheartsandsouls.Butweoftentaketheirloveforgranted;sometimesweevenconsidertheirloveisakindofrestrictiononthewaytobecominganadult.Whatshouldwedoforourparentsandhowdoparents,dealwiththeproblemswithchildren?Youprobablywillhavebetterideasafterreadingthetwotextsinthisunit.Preview

PreviewPreviewNextUnit5Parents’LoveLead-inListeningCommunicativeActivityTextATextBTranslationinFocusUnit5Parents’LoveListentothefollowingpassagethreetimes.Fillintheblanksnumberedfrom1to7withtheexactwordsand8to10withthemissingphrasesorfragments.Mydearson,Youareyoungandata_________stageoflife.Ihopetohelpyoualongyour_________bysharingsomebestadvicewithyou.First,therewillbepeopleinyourlifewhowon'tbevery_______.They'llteaseyoubecauseyou're________,orfornogoodreason.There'snotmuchyoucandoexcepttolearntodealwiththesepeople,andlearnto________friendswhoarekindtoyou,careaboutyou,andmakeyoufeelgoodaboutyourself.Whenyoufindfriendslikethis,holdontothem,________them,spendtimewiththem,bekindtothem,lovethem.wonderfulpathHomeNextPreviousnicedifferentchoosetreasure全文播放本页播放

Lead-inListeningUnit5Parents’LoveSecond,therewillbetimeswhenyouaremetwithdisappointmentinsteadof____________.Lifewon'talwaysturnoutthewayyouwant.Insteadoflettingthesethingsgetyoudown,pushon.Acceptdisappointmentandlearntopersevere,to____________________despitepitfalls.Learntoturnnegativesintopositives,andyou'lldomuchbetterinlife.Lastbutnotheleast,youwillalsoface________________________bythoseyoulove.Again,notmuchyoucandobuttoheal,andtomoveonwithyourlife.Letthesepainsbecome_____________tobetterthingsinlife,andlearntousethemtomakeyoustronger.successpursueyourdreamsheartbreakandabandonmentsteppingstonesHomeNextPrevious全文播放本页播放

Lead-inListeningUnit5Parents’LoveSampleDialogue:OfferingHelpReadthefollowingconversation.PayattentiontohowXiaoWangoffershishelptoMr.Brown,anewEnglishteachercomingtotheirschoolforthefirsttime.XiaoWang:MayIhelpyou,sir?Mr.Brown:Yes,Ilostmyway.HowcanIgettothelibrary?XiaoWang:Well,yougodownthisroadandturnleftatthesecondcrossing.You’llseetheNo.6lecturebuildingonyouright,andthelibraryisjustbehindthebuilding.Mr.Brown:Gostraightaheadtillthesecondcrossing…andturnleft...No.6buildingonmyright…Sorry,wouldyoupleasesayitagain?Iamnewhere.XiaoWang:Oh,pleasecomewithme.I’dliketoshowyoutheway.Mr.Brown:Thankyouverymuch!XiaoWang:CanIhelpyouwithyourbag?Mr.Brown:That’sokay.Icanhandleitmyself.Thankyou.HomeNextPreviousCommunicativeActivityUnit5Parents’LoveOralpractice:

Invitetheclassmatessittingnearyoutopracticeofferinghelpforeachother.Youmayusethefollowingtipstohelpyou.CanIhelpyou?MayIhelpyou,sir?WhatcanIdoforyou?Doyouwantmetomake/cook/bring…somethingforyou?IsthereanythingIcandoforyou?Wouldyoulikemetodosomethingforyou?That’sverykindofyou.Thankyousomuch!No,thereisnoneed,butthankyouallthesame.HomeNextPreviousCommunicativeActivityUnit5Parents’LoveParentsusuallyremembertheirchildren’sbirthdays;doyourememberyourparents’birthdays?Ifyoudo,howdoyoucelebrateyourparents’birthdays?2.Wouldyoupleasetellyourclassmatesoneoftheunforgettablestoriesthattookplacebetweenyouandyourparents?

Pre-readingQuestionsTextAHomeNextPreviousTextAUnit5Parents’LoveAGoodbyeKissAExercisesEProperNamesCNotesDTextABWords&ExpressionsBackNextPreviousHomeTextAUnit5Parents’LoveAstheboardmeetingalmostcametoanend,wewerehavingfuntellingstoriesofourmostembarrassingmoments.ItcamearoundtoFrankwhosatquietlylisteningtotheothers.Someonesaid,“Comeon,Frank.Tellusyourmostembarrassingmoment.”Franklaughedandbegantotellusofhischildhood.“IgrewupinSanPedro.Mydadwasafisherman,andhelovedthesea.Hehadhisownboat,butitwashardmakingalivingonthesea.Heworkedhardandwouldstayoutuntilhecaughtenoughtofeedthefamily.”Helookedatusandcontinued,“Iwishyoucouldhavemetmydad.Hewasabigstrongmanfrompullingthenetsandfightingtheseasforhiscatch.Whenyougotclosetohim,hesmelledliketheocean.Hewouldwearhisoldcanvas,foul-weathercoatandhiswornoveralls.Hisrainhatwouldbepulleddownoverhisbrow.Nomatterhowmuchmymotherwashedthem,theywouldstillsmelloftheseaandoffish.”译TextABackNextPreviousHome道别之吻董事会会议即将结束，我们开心地讲起自己曾经历的最尴尬的时刻。一圈过来，轮到弗兰克了，他一直默默地坐在那儿听别人讲。有人说：“来吧，弗兰克，给大家讲讲你最难为情的时刻。”弗兰克笑了笑，开始讲述他小时候的事:“我是在桑派德罗长大的。我爸爸是一位渔夫，他非常热爱大海。他有自己的小船，可是在海上捕鱼为生太艰难了。他辛勤地劳动着，一直待在海上直到捕到足以养活全家的鱼为止。”弗兰克看着我们，继续说，“我真希望你们见过我爸爸，他长期拉网捕鱼，与大海搏斗，长得十分强壮。走近他时，你能够闻到他身上散发出来的大海的气息。他总穿着他那件老式的帆布衣，可以抵御任何恶劣天气的外套和那条破旧的工作裤，雨帽总低低地戴在眉毛上方。无论妈妈怎么洗，那些衣服总还是散发出大海和鱼的气味。”全文播放本页播放AAGoodbyeKiss英Unit5Parents’Love译Frank’svoicedroppedabit.“Whentheweatherwasbadhewoulddrivemetoschool.Hehadthisoldtruckevenolderthanhewas.Itwouldwheezeandrattledowntheroad.Youcouldhearitcomingforblocks.Ashewoulddrivetowardtheschool,Iwouldshrinkdownintotheseathopingtodisappear.Halfthetime,hewouldslamtoastopandtheoldtruckwouldbelchacloudofsmoke.Hewouldpullrightupinfront,anditseemedlikeeverybodywouldbestandingaroundandwatching.Thenhewouldleanoverandgivemeabigkissonthecheekandtellmetobeagoodboy.Itwassoembarrassingforme.Here,Iwastwelveyearsold,andmydadwouldleanoverandkissmegoodbye!”

弗兰克的声音低了一点：“天气不好的时候，爸爸会开车送我去学校。他有辆老式货车，比他年龄还大，呼哧呼哧地，一路上嘎嘎作响，几个街区远都能听到它的声音。爸爸用它载着我去学校时，我真恨不得缩到座位底下，免得别人看见。多数时候，当他“砰”地一声停住车时，车子便喷出一股浓烟。而他还总把车停在学校正门口，好像每个人都正站在一旁观看。然后，他弯下身子在我脸上重重地亲了一口，并要我做一个好孩子。这让我觉得难为情极了。那时我已经12岁，而爸爸还俯身给我一个道别的吻。”

TextABackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放AAGoodbyeKiss英Unit5Parents’Love译Hepausedandthenwenton,“IrememberthedayIdecidedIwastoooldforagoodbyekiss.Whenwegottotheschoolandcametoastop,hehadhisusualbigsmile.Hestartedtoleantowardme,butIputmyhandupandsaid,‘No,Dad.’ItwasthefirsttimeIhadevertalkedtohimthatway,andhehadthissurprisedlookonhisface.Isaid,'Dad,I'mtoooldforagoodbyekiss.I’mtoooldforanykindofkiss.’Mydadlookedatmeforthelongesttime,andhiseyesstartedtotearup.Ihadneverseenhimcry.Heturnedandlookedoutthewindshield.‘You'reright,’hesaid.‘Youareabigboy....aman.Iwon’tkissyouanymore.’”

弗兰克停顿了一下，又接着说：“我还记得那天。我认为自己已经长大到不再合适道别的亲吻了。当我们到了学校停下来的时候，像往常一样,爸爸露出了灿烂的笑容，他开始向我俯下身来，但我抬手挡住了他，并说：‘不，爸爸。’那是我第一次那样对他说话，他十分吃惊。“我说道：‘爸爸，我已经长大了，大到不再适合接受道别亲吻了。也不再适合任何的亲吻了。’爸爸盯着我看了好长时间，潸然泪下。我从来未见过他哭泣。他转过身子，透过挡风玻璃向外望去：‘没错，你已经是一个大男孩儿……一个男子汉了。我以后再也不这样亲吻你了。’TextABackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放AAGoodbyeKiss英Unit5Parents’Love译Frankgotafunnylookonhisface,andthetearsbegantowellupinhiseyes,ashespoke.“Itwasn’tlongafterthatwhenmydadwenttoseaandnevercameback.”IlookedatFrankandsawtearsrunningdownhischeeks.Frankspokeagain.“Guys,youdon’tknowwhatIwouldgivetohavemydadgivemejustonemorekissonthecheek....tofeelhisrougholdface....tosmelltheoceanonhim....tofeelhisarmaroundmyneck.IwishIhadbeenamanthen.IfIhadbeenaman,IwouldneverhavetoldmydadIwastoooldforagoodbyekiss.”

讲到这儿，弗兰克脸上露出了古怪的神情，泪水在眼眶里打转。“从那之后没多久，爸爸出海后却再也没能回来了。”我看着弗兰克，眼泪正顺着他的脸颊流下来。弗兰克又说：“伙计们，你们不知道，如果能让我爸爸再在我脸上亲一下……让我感觉一下他那粗糙了的脸……再闻一闻他身上海洋的气息……享受他搂着我脖子的感觉，那么让我付出什么都行。我真希望那时候我是一个真正的男子汉。如果我是，我绝不会告诉爸爸我已经长大到不再适合道别的亲吻了。”TextABackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放AAGoodbyeKiss英Unit5Parents’Loveboard

slamembarrassmakealivingfoul

pulluprattleleanover/forwardshrink

BWords&ExpressionsTextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Loveboardn.thegroupofpeoplewhoareresponsibleforcontrollingandorganizingacompany董事会，理事会Theboardapprovedthesalesplan.Everydecisionhastobepassedbytheboard.Shestartedinthefirmbymakingtheteaandnowshe’saboardmember.boardroom董事会会议室TextAExamples:BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Loveembarrassvt.tomakesomeonefeelawkwardorashamed使窘迫，使局促不安HisclumsinessembarrassedhimItembarrassedhimthathehadnoideawhatwasgoingon.Youareembarrassinghimwithyourcompliments!Idon’twanttoembarrassherinfrontofherfriends.embarrassed:adj.feelingashamedorshy窘迫的，尴尬的

Shefeltembarrassedaboutundressinginfrontofthedoctor.embarrassing:adj.feelinguneasy使人尴尬的,令人难堪的

It’sembarrassingtobecaughttellingalie.TextAExamples:BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Lovefouladj.extremelyunpleasant恶劣的，极其令人不快的Thosetoiletssmellfoul!I’vehadafouldayatwork.Whatfoulweather!foul-mouthed:ifsomeoneisfoul-mouthed,theyswearalotanduseoffensivelanguage满口脏话的foulplay:n.insport,whensomeoneplaysunfairlyoractsagainsttherules犯规动作TextAExamples:BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Loverattlevi.tomovequickly,makingrepeatedknockingnoises迅速而嘎嘎作响地移动Acartfullofmilk-bottlesrattledpast.Whenthewindblows,allthedoorsrattle.Ibelievethatoldcarwouldrattleoneveniftheenginefellout.TextAExamples:BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Loveshrink(shrankshrunk)

vi.moveback,showunwillingnessestodosth.(fromshame,dislike,etc.)退缩，畏缩ThechildshrinksawayfrommewhenItrytotalktohim.Shecriedandshrankagainstwall.Wemustnotshrinkfromourresponsibilities.vi&vtbecomesmaller(使)缩小，（使）变小

Thesweaterwillshrinkifyouwashitwithveryhotwater.Thecompany’sprofitshaveshrunkfrom￡5.5millionto￡1.25million.TextAExamples:BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveslamThewindmadethedoor/windowslam.Heslammedthebrakeonwhenachildraninfrontofhiscar.Ihadtostopsuddenly,andthecarbehindslammedintothebackofme.slamdunkn.ashotinbasketballinwhichaplayerjumpsupandpushestheballdownthroughthenet灌篮，扣篮TextAExamples:vt.vi..tothroworknockwith砰地关上，重重地撞上BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LovemakealivingShemakesalivingbybegginginthecity.Youcanmakeagoodlivinginsalesifyouworkhard.Happyisthemanwhocanmakealivingbyhishobby.Shehadtomakeherownlivingwhenshewasstillachild.同义词组：earnalivingTextAExamples:haveasone’sworkorlivelihood谋生，以……为生BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LovepullupAcarpulledupoutsidemyhouse.Acarpulledupoutsidetheinnandthepolicegotout.TextAExamples:tostopthevehiclethatyouaredriving停住（车）BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Loveleanover/forward

Sheleanedforwardandgavethechildakiss.Myclassmateleanedoverandwhisperedtomesomethingimportant.TextAExamples:tomoveorbendthetoppartofthebodyinaparticulardirection倾斜,倾向BackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveV.OrganizingYourIdeas

IV.TryingtheTranslationIII.RecognizingMainIdeasII.DevelopingYourVocabulary

VI.BeyondtheReadingI.GettingtheMessageExercisesTextABackNextPreviousHomeEExercisesUnit5Parents’LoveI.GettingtheMessageDirections:ChoosethebestanswerbasedonyourcomprehensionofTextA.1. Frankfeltquiteembarrassedbecause____________________.A. hisfatheroftensmelledliketheoceanB. hisfatherdrovehimtoschoolwiththeoldtrunkC. hisfatherwouldleanoverandgivehimabigkissonthecheekinfrontofmanypeopleD. hisfatherwasafisherman2. WhydidyoungFrankshrinkdownintotheseat?A. Becausehewasunwillingtogotoschool.B. Becausehedidn’twanttositintothetrunkwhichwasfulloffish.C. Becausehewasacowardandafraidofsittingintotheoldtrunk.D. Becausehisfatherdroveaveryoldtrunk,anditmadelotsofnoisesontheway.CDTextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Love3. Father’seyesstartedtotearupbecause_____________________.A. hewaspleasedtofindthathissonhadalreadygrownupB. hewouldn’tseehissonanymoreC. hefeltsadthathissonhadrefusedkissinghimgoodbyeD. hewassurprisedatthewayhissontalkedwithhim4. WhichwordbestdescribesFrank’sfeelingafterhisfatherwenttoseaandnevercameback?A.thankfulB.regretfulC.sympatheticD.pitiful5.Whatcanbeinferredfromthestory?A.YoungFrankwastoooldforagoodbyekiss.B.Frank’sfatherwasahard-worker.C.Frankwishedtosmelltheoceanfromhisfatheragain.DFrank’sfatherlovedhimsotrulyanddeeply.CBDI.GettingtheMessageTextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveII.DevelopingYourVocabularyDirections:Completethefollowingsentenceswiththecorrectwordsgiveninthebrackets.1. Everydecisionhastobepassedbythe___________.(board,abroad)2. Iusually__________theneighbour’scatwhilesheisaway.(feed,supply)3. Theroadwascompletelyblockedbyanoverturned___________.(trunk,truck)4. Thechild_____________behindthesofaasherfathershoutedather.(sank,shrank)5. IsatdownnexttoBernard,who_______overtomeandsaid,“you’relate.”(bended,leaned)6. IknowwhenI’vebeensmokingtoomuchbecauseIstartto___________whenIrunforatrain.(whistle,wheeze)boardleanedtruckfeedshrankwheezeSectionATextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveII.DevelopingYourVocabularyDirections:Completethefollowingsentenceswiththeproperwords.1. MotherworriedaboutJimmysomuchthatheoftenstayed___________latetoplayPCgamesintheInternetbar.2. Hepulled_____________hishatsothatthepolicemenwouldn’tspothiminthecrowds.3. Peoplestand_______________insmallhuddle,shelteredfromtherain.4. Donpulled_____________attheredlightandwestoppedbehindhim.5. Sheleaned_____________towhispersomethingtome.6. Myeyeswell____________withtearswhenheardtheheroicstoriesinSichuanearthquake.outoveraroundoverupupSectionBTextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveembarrassingterriblerespectmadeagreedhappygratefulsmelledregretfulfeedoldchildhoodleanchildlikerattledIII.RecognizingMainIdeasDirections:Thefollowingisabriefsummaryofthetextwith10blanks.Selectonewordforeachblankfromthelistgiven.TextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveIII.RecognizingMainIdeasAddYourTitleFrankrecalledthemost__________momentinhis_________attheendoftheboardingmeeting.Hisfatherwasafishermanandworkedsohardto________thewholefamily.Hisfatheroften________likefishandtheocean.Whentheweatherwas_______,hisfatherwoulddrivehimtoschoolbyhisoldtrunkthat______downtheroad.Frankfeltsoembarrassedthathisfatherwould________overandkisshimgoodbyewhentheyfinallyarrivedinfrontofschool.Oneday,hedecidedhewastoo______foragoodbyekiss,sohesaid“no”tohisfather.Thoughhisfatherwasgreatlyupsettohearthat,hestill________nottodothatanymore.Itwasn’tlongafterthatwhenhisfatherwenttoseaandnevercameback.Frankwasso_________thathewishedhecouldhaveonemorekissfromhisfather.embarrassingchildhoodfeedterriblesmelledrattledleanoldpromisedregretfulTextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveIV.TryingtheTranslationSectionADirections:TranslatethefollowingsentencesintoChinese.1Hewasabigstrongmanfrompullingthenetsandfightingtheseasforhiscatch.他长期拉网捕鱼，与大海搏斗，长得十分强壮。2Hewouldleanoverandgivemeabigkissonthecheekandtellmetobeagoodboy.他弯下身子在我脸上重重地亲了一口，并要我做一个好孩子。TextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Love3Mydadlookedatmeforthelongesttime,andhiseyesstartedtotearup.爸爸盯着我看了好长时间，潸然泪下。Youdon'tknowwhatIwouldgivetohavemydadgivemejustonemorekissonthecheek.4

你们不知道，如果能让我爸爸再在我脸上亲一下,让我付出什么都行。5IfIhadbeenaman,IwouldneverhavetoldmydadIwastoooldforagoodbyekiss.如果我那时是个男子汉,我绝不会告诉爸爸我已经长大到不再适合一个道别的亲吻。IV.TryingtheTranslationTextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveSectionBIV.TryingtheTranslationDirections:TranslatethefollowingsentencesintoEnglish,usingthewordsorphrasesinthebrackets.1麦克环游世界，以教钢琴为生。(makealiving)Michaeltravelledaroundworld,makingalivingbyteachingpiano.2满载着牛奶瓶的马车嘎嘎作响地驶过街道。(rattlethrough)Thecartfullwithmilk-bottlesrattledthroughtheroad.TextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveIV.TryingtheTranslation3他砰地一声关上门，生气地离开了家。（slam）Heslammedthedoorandleftthehomeangrily.4你们应该独立完成试卷，不要侧过身子偷看别人的。(leanover)5司机紧急刹住车避让突然出现在汽车前的小男孩。（pullup）Youshouldfinishthepaperonyourself.Youshouldnotleanoverandpeeptheothers’.Thesuddenappearanceoftheboyinfrontofthecarcausedthedrivertopullup.TextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveV.OrganizingYourIdeasDirections:Putthefollowingsentencesintheproperordersothattheymakeacompleteparagraph.1.Beforeshewenttobed,Piccolatookoffherlittlewoodenshoesandputthemonthefloornearthechimney.2.Hermotherfeltverysadandshookherhead.3.Inthenightalittlebirdwithabrokenwingfelldownthechimneyandhoppedintooneoftheshoes.4.Shesaidtohermother,“PerhapsUncleSantawillcome.”5.Thereshesawthelittlebirdinoneoftheshoes.ShepickeduptheshoeandrantoshowherChristmaspresenttohermother.6.OneChristmasEvePiccolasaidtohermother,"Mamma,willUncleSantacometoourhousetonight?"7.VeryearlyinthemorningPiccolawokeup,jumpedoutofbedandrantolookintohershoes.8.OncetherelivedinFranceapoorlittlegirlnamedPiccola,whosefatherhaddiedwhenshewasquiteyoung.9.Shesaid,"SantaClausdidnotforgetme,Mamma."KEY8-6-2-1-4-3-7-5-9TextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveVI.BeyondtheReadingDoyouhaveanysuggestionsaboutemptynestfamilies?Howshouldwecarefortheoldpeopleandhelpthemlivehappilyintheiroldage?Nowadays,moreandmoreChinesefamilieshavebecomeemptynestsastheirchildrenareleavinghomeandtheparentsareleadingtheirliveslonelyandhelplesslyinoldage.

TextABackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’Love2.Whatareyougoingtodotosupportyourparents?Doyourparentsoftenregardyourideascarefully?1.How’stherelationshipbetweenyouandyourparents?Doyouenjoythewayyoutreateachother?Pre-readingQuestionsTextBNextPreviousHomeTextBUnit5Parents’LoveEALivingwithYourTeenBWords&ExpressionsExercisesCProperNamesNotesTextBNextPreviousHomeDTextBUnit5Parents’Love译DisagreementsbetweenparentsandteensarenormalManyparentsareoverwhelmedbytheresponsibilitiesthataccompanychild-rearing.Often,parentsbelievetheyaloneareresponsibleforhowtheirchildrenturnout.Theybelievethatiftheydon’tdotherightthings,theirchildrenwon’tbecomewell-adjustedadults.Thismisconceptionmaycausethenormalstruggles.Parentsneedtounderstandthatalthoughtheyareveryimportantintheirchild’slife,otherinfluencessuchaspeers,teachers,counselorsandpopularpublicfiguresalsohavesomethingtodowiththedevelopingteenager.

如何和青春期孩子相处：理解变化中的父母子女关系父母和孩子间的争议是普遍的许多父母往往会被养儿育女的艰巨责任而吓到。通常他们认为唯有他们自己才能为将孩子培养成怎样的人而负责。他们相信如果他们所做的事情不正确，他们的孩子也不会成长为行为端正的成年人。这种错误的观点可能导致了父母和孩子间常见的争端。作为父母，他们必须认识到尽管他们在孩子的一生中很重要，但其他的影响，如孩子的同伴、他们的老师、辅导员和一些公众人物对青少年的成长都有相当的影响。TextBLivingwithYourTeen

UnderstandingtheChangingParent-TeenRelationshipABackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放英Unit5Parents’Love译Theteen’sgrowthtowardindependenceisusuallyviewedbyteensorparentsasastruggleforcontrol.Formanyparents,themethodusedtoensurethatachildwillgrowup“right”istomaintaincontrolovermanyaspectsofthechild’slife.Suchparentsmaychoosetheirchildren’sclothes,friends,hobbiesandcoursesofstudy.Asthechildrengrowolder,theybegintorealizetheycannevergrowintoadultswithoutassumingcontroloftheirownlives.Therefore,theybegintofightforcontrol.Theyarguewiththeirparents,defythemanddemandcontrol,whichcanleadtoongoingfamilystruggles.Forthesechildren,theroadtoadulthoodisdifficultbecausebothparentsandchildrenrisklosingtheclosenesstheyonceenjoyedandquiteoftenbothcanfeelrejectedandhurt.

通常，父母或孩子都会将孩子成长获得独立的过程视为对控制权的争夺。对许多父母来说，过去教育孩子成为好孩子的方法就是父母要对孩子各方面的生活进行干预控制。这样的父母会为他们的孩子选择衣物、朋友、喜好以及学习的课程。当孩子们渐渐长大，他们开始意识到如果不能重新获得对自己生活的掌控，他们将永远不会长大成人。因此，他们开始争夺自主权，他们会和父母争论，违背父母的意愿并要求获得自主权，这样导致家庭中持续不断的争执。对这些孩子们来说，成长为大人的道路是艰难的，因为父母和孩子们都可能失去他们曾经享受的亲密关系，往往令双方感到被拒绝的痛苦且深受伤害。

TextBLivingwithYourTeen

UnderstandingtheChangingParent-TeenRelationshipABackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放英Unit5Parents’Love译ItisnotjustateenageproblemEducatorsbelievethatparents’ownissuesalsocontributetotheproblemswithteens.Often,asmiddle-agedmen,theymayexperienceunrest,discontent,changeandself-evaluationduringmiddleadulthood.Duringthistime,manyadultsaskthemselveswhattheyhavedonesofarintheirlivesandwhattheywanttodointhefuture.Someadultsmaybedepressedbecausetheyhaven’tachievedtheirowngoals.Othersmaybeanxiousbecausetheydon’tknowwhattheywilldoaftertheirchildrenhavegrownandlefthome.Inthesesituations,arebelliousadolescentmayaddtoaparent’sfeelingsofuncertaintyabouthimselforherself.Problemswithachildmaybeviewedasanotherindicationoffailureintheadult’slife.Asonefatherputit,theparent-teenagerelationshipcomes“atthemostinconvenienttime”.

这不单是孩子们的问题教育家认为，父母自身的问题同样也会造成父母与子女之间的矛盾。父母，通常在中年时期，自身也经历着生活的动荡、失意、变化，会对自我进行重新评价。他们会在这个时刻，问自己他们一生都做了什么，又想在未来完成什么。有一些父母会因为自己没有达到目标而沮丧，其他的可能会焦虑不安，因为他们不知道当孩子们长大离开家以后，他们该如何生活。在这样的情况下，叛逆的青少年会增加父母对自身的怀疑。和孩子的关系问题可能被视为成年人自身生活的又一个失败。正如一位父亲曾说过的，父母和青少年孩子的关系问题出现在“一个最不恰当的时段”。TextBBackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放LivingwithYourTeen

UnderstandingtheChangingParent-TeenRelationshipA英Unit5Parents’LoveForsomemiddle-agedparents,thefacttheirchildrenwillsoonbeadultsmaybeanunpleasantreminderthatthey,too,areaging.FailuretoliveuptoparentalexpectationsFrequently,teenscomplainthattheycan’tfulfilltheirparents’expectations.Manyparentshaveselectedacertaincareer,acertaindresscode,oraspecialcollegefortheirchild.Butteensdecidetoleadtheirownlives.Acceptingthedecisionstheirteensmake,however,canbeextremelytryingforparents.Parentswhorejecttheiradolescentswhentheyfailtomeettheirexpectationsmightalienatetheirteens.

而对有些已年逾中旬的父母来说，自己的孩子们长大成人的事实并不令人愉快，只会提醒他们自己已经步入老年了。不能实现父母的期望青少年常常会抱怨他们不可能实现父母对他们的期望。许多父母为自己的孩子选择了某种职业、某类着装或者一所特别的大学，而他们的孩子却决心过自己想要的生活。但让这些父母来接受他们孩子做出的决定却十分艰难。当孩子们不能实现父母的期望时，父母往往不能接受，也可能冷淡疏远自己的孩子。译TextBBackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放LivingwithYourTeen

UnderstandingtheChangingParent-TeenRelationshipA英Unit5Parents’LoveImprovingtheparent-teenrelationshipHowcanyouimproveyourrelationshipwithyourteens?First,ithelpsifyourecognizethatteenagersmustbecomeindependentinordertobecomeadults.Ifbecomingindependentisthetaskofchildren,thenthetaskofparentsmustbetohelptheirchildrenreachindependencebyallowingthemtowalk(andfall),totalk(andmakemistakes),andtoslowlytakecontroloftheirownlives.Takealookatyourroleinyourrelationshipwithyourteenager.Youmaywanttoconsidercounselingtohelpyouseehowyoumaybecontributingtoanegativesituation.Youmayneedtolearnwaystocopewithyourlife,ratherthanallowingquestionsaboutyourlifetogetmixedupwithyouradolescent’sstruggleforindependence.It’scommonforthechangingparent-childrelationshiptocauseproblemsinfamilies.Itishelpfulwhenparentsareabletoacceptchangesandsupporttheirteenstowardsindependence.

改善父母和青春期孩子的关系你该如何改善与孩子的关系呢？首先，如果你能意识到孩子们必须成为独立的人才能成年，这是很有帮助的。如果变得独立是孩子们的任务，那么父母的任务必须是帮助孩子们独立，允许他们走、跌倒、交流、犯错，最后逐渐掌握自己的生活。重新审视一下你与孩子相处时的角色吧，你也可能需要他人的建议来帮助你认清你和孩子间的消极状况是如何产生的。你可能需要学习如何应对你自身的问题，而不是将你对自身生活的审视和青春期的孩子追求独立的努力相混淆。不断变化中的父母与孩子的关系往往造成了家庭中的各种问题。当父母能够接受这些变化，并支持他们的孩子们成长为独立的人，对解决问题确实是很有帮助的。译TextBBackNextPreviousHome全文播放本页播放LivingwithYourTeen

UnderstandingtheChangingParent-TeenRelationshipA英Unit5Parents’LoveWords&ExpressionsBoverwhelm

alienateaccompanyberesponsibleforassume

contributetodefysofarrejectaddtounrestliveuptoevaluationtakecontrolofrebelliousTextBBackNextPreviousHomeUnit5Parents’LoveExamples:vt.(usuallypassive)tocausesomeonetofeelsuddenstrongemotion（强烈的感情）使难以承受，使不知所措overwhelm1.Hewasoverwhelmedbythedeathofhisfather.2.IwasquiteoverwhelmedbyalltheflowersandlettersofsupportIreceived.

overwhelmingadj.sostrongastobeirresi