读后续写素材积累之动作与神态描写讲义-高三英语写作专项

高考读后续写素材积累：动作与神态描写1Nanacollapsingsuddenly,

herbody

tightening,

becomingrigid(僵硬的),

hereyesrollingback,

herarmsandlegs

shaking

asifsomethingwerethrottling(压制)

herfromtheinside,

thefroth(泡沫)

atthecornersofhermouth,white,sometimespinkwithblood.

描述可怜的Nana发病时的状态：herbody--tightening,

becomingrigid(僵硬的)；hereyes--rollingback；herarmsandlegs--shaking；

thefroth(泡沫)

atthecornersofhermouth--white,sometimespinkwithblood.作者从Nana身体的各个部位进行描述，给人以真实感,人物造型栩栩如生,使文章生动形象。2WhenMariamspoke,hisattentionneverwavered动摇.He

noddedslowly

and

smiledwithalookofgratitude,asif

hehadbeengrantedacoveted渴望的

privilege.ItwaseasytotellMullahFaizullahthingsthatMariamdidn’tdaretellNana.本句描述了师生的关系和谐，其中在描述老师倾听

Mariam讲话时的神态特别形象：noddedslowly

and

smiledwithalookofgratitude描写动作时，为了让动作更丰满，更灵动，可以适当运用副词，介词短语等来补充说明。比如本句中：noddedslowly；根据情景我们还可以用noddingquickly等等。再比如，在表达微笑的时候，本句中smiledwithalookofgratitude=smilegratefully；根据情景，还可以有smilebroadly,开怀地笑。smilecharmingly迷人地笑.smilecunningly狡猾地笑。smilepleasantly令人愉快地笑smilefaintly微微一笑；等等。3“Isthatwhatyouwant?”MullahFaizullahsaid,

lookingatherwithhissoft,wateryeyes,

hishandsbehindhisstoopingback,theshadowofhisturbanfallingonapatchofbristlingbuttercups.对老师讲话时的神态描写：眼睛lookingatherwithhissoft,wateryeyes手：hishandsbehindhisstoopingback4Whenshelaughed,she

coveredhermouthwithafisttohidethebadtooth.娜娜笑的时候的神态描写：coveredhermouthwithafisttohidethebadtooth.用拳头盖住她的嘴巴以掩饰她糟糕的牙齿，体现了她爱美，又不太自信的神态。5She

waiteduntilherlegswerestiff(坚硬的).Thistime,shedidnotgobacktothekolba.

She

rolledupthelegsofhertrouserstotheknees,

crossed

thestream,and,forthefirsttimeinherlife,

headeddown

thehillforHerat赫拉特(阿富汗西北部城市)用动作表达她内心的挣扎与果敢：waiteduntilherlegswerestiff(坚硬的)rolledupthelegsofhertrouserscrossed

thestreamheadeddown6Finally,onThursdays,allshecoulddowassitagainstawall,

eyesgluedtothestream,andwait.IfJalilwasrunninglate,

aterribledreadfilledherbitbybit.Herkneeswouldweaken,andshewouldhaveto

gosomewhereandliedown.等候父亲的神态描写：eyesgluedtothestream体现了她的渴望;aterribledreadfilledherbitbybit;Herkneeswouldweaken;...gosomewhereandliedown用具体的身体反应与动作表达她的恐惧与焦虑。7

Alookofconfusioncrossed

thegirl’sface.Then,

aflashofrecognition.Therewas

afaintsmile

onherlipsnow,and

anairofeagerness

abouther,ofanticipation.“Waithere,”thegirl

saidquickly.神态的细微变化：先是Alookofconfusioncrossed

thegirl’sface然后aflashofrecognition.之后是

afaintsmile

再是

anairofeagerness

最后是thegirl

saidquickly.一连串的神态变化，细微的表情特写，最后辅以动作。就像是看电影，有木有？8She

swung

herfeetoverthesideofthebedandhurried

over.She

kissed

hishandasalwaysand

heherbrow.She

pulled

himup

achair.一连串的动作描写：

swung--hurried

over--kissed

--heherbrow(kiss)

--pulled

himup

这一连串的动作将玛丽亚姆对父亲到来的热情与爱表达出来了。9Jalil’seyes

liftedslowly,

metMariam’s,lingered

foramoment,thendropped.

He

openedhismouth,

butallthatcameforthwas

asingle,painedgroan.细腻的神态描写：父亲Jalil的反应：

Jalil’seyes--

liftedslowly--metMariam’s--lingered

foramoment--dropped--

openedhismouth--asingle,painedgroan描写了父亲对女儿要出嫁的复杂心情，这些动作描写表现了人物的内心世界，以外显内。10Theirgazes

metbriefly

intheglassand

slidaway.细腻的神态描写：陌生不自在的碰撞：metbriefly--slidaway11He

crossedanduncrossed

hisarms.他手臂交叉在胸前，又放了下来。动作描写：将一组相对的词“交叉cross"与"使不交叉，放下uncross”放在一起表达，表达了人物的矛盾心理。12Jalil

lookeddown,and,likeanovergrownchild,

dugat

somethingwiththetoeofhisshoe.Jalil，（玛丽亚姆的父亲）朝下看，用鞋尖磨蹭地面什么的dugatsomethingwiththetoeofhisshoe。本句用了比喻的手法，

likeanovergrownchild就像一个大孩子，形象地描写了父亲感到愧疚的神态。13

Aloneinthehouse,Mariam

pacedrestlessly,fromthekitchentothelivingroom,upthestepstoherroomanddownagain.She

endedupback

inherroom,

doingherprayersorsitting

onthebed,

missing

hermother,

feeling

nauseatedandhomesick.描述Mariam一个人在家无聊的场景一、动作的不断变换：不安地走动pacedrestlessly；endedupback返回；doingherprayers祈祷orsitting

onthebed坐在床上,同时想念母亲missing

hermother...想家

feeling

nauseatedandhomesick...

二、场景的不断变换fromthekitchentothelivingroom从厨房到客厅,upthestepstoherroomanddownagain去楼上房间又下来...这些并不是累赘的文字，这些文字让读者更加了解玛丽亚姆在家无所事事百无聊赖的心情。我们似乎看到了玛丽亚姆在陌生的家里孤单的身影。14

She

pushed

untilsomehowshewasintheclearandthenshe

ranup

thestreet.Itwasn’tuntilshe’d

reached

theintersectionthatshe

realized

she’drunthewrongway.She

turnedaround

andranback

intheotherdirection,

headeddown,

tripping

onceand

scrapingherkneebadly,thenupagainand

running,bolting

pastthewomen.形象地描述Mariam慌不择路的窘态：逃跑，方向错了，返回跑，又摔倒受伤了。

15

He

gave

hera

woundedlook.经过一系列的事情，玛丽亚姆感觉父亲并不真正爱她，内心极度受挫极为伤心。她说她永远不要听到他消息。这时，父亲伤心地望了她一眼。这一眼，体现了父亲怎样复杂的感情呢？16

“Don’tleavelikethis,”he

saidinathinvoice.玛丽亚姆憎恨父亲将她嫁出去，拒绝与父亲交流。在出嫁那天与父亲分别时，态度冷漠，于是父亲软弱无力地说：别这样离开我。用"thin"这个词来表达他内心的那种伤感，内疚与心虚。17

Rasheed

buried

hisfaceintoherpillow,andMariam

stared,

wide-eyed,attheceilingabovehisshoulder,

shivering,lips

pursed,feelingtheheatofhisquickbreathsonhershoulder.描述玛丽亚姆与丈夫首次身体的接触，后面几句都是类似的。大家可以酌情处理。这类描述也可以用在其他情景中，如某人很兴奋，很恐惧等。18Hishandwasonherrightbreastnow,squeezingithardthroughtheblouse,andshecouldhearhim

breathingdeeplythroughthenose.19.Therewasamomentofhesitation,andthenhishandwasonherneck,histhickfingers

slowlypressing

theknobsinthebackofit.Histhumb

sliddown,andnowitwasstrokingthehollowabovehercollarbone,thenthefleshbeneathit.Mariambeganshivering.Hishand

crept

lowerstill,lower,hisfingernailscatchinginthecottonofherblouse.20

Mariam

closed

hereyes,

grittedherteeth（咬紧牙关）.21.Mariamsatonhisbed,embarrassedandconfused.Shecuppedherfacewithherhandsandclosedhereyes.Shebreathedandbreatheduntilshefeltcalmer.神态描写：困扰与尴尬。作者是这样描述的：双手捧住脸，闭上眼睛cuppedherfacewithherhandsandclosedhereyes.然后她不断地呼吸直到感觉平静些Shebreathedandbreatheduntilshefeltcalmer。这种具体的神态与动作描写把她的尴尬与困惑形象地表达出来了。22Hungermadehimcurt,irritable,impatient.饥饿带来的反应。简单粗暴，易怒，没有耐心：curt,irritable,impatient.23Meanwhile,achangehadcomeoverRasheedeversincethedayatthebathhouse.Mostnightswhenhecamehome,hehardlytalkedanymore.Heate,smoked,wenttobed,sometimescamebackinthemiddleofthenightforabriefand,oflate,quiteroughsessionofcoupling.玛丽亚姆丈夫Rasheed在她流产后，对她的态度发生了极大变化。回家后，很少讲话。他就是吃饭，抽烟。上床睡觉，或者午夜回家一会儿。动作描写很简单ate,smoked,wenttobed,，但我们能深刻体会到这种压抑的生活氛围，以及玛丽亚姆在这种环境下生存，该多么不易。24Occasionally,hetookheraroundtownonFridays,likeheusedto,butonthesidewalkshewalkedquicklyandalwaysafewstepsaheadofher,withoutspeaking,unmindfulofMariamwhoalmosthadtoruntokeepupwithhim.Hewasn’tsoreadywithalaughontheseoutingsanymore.Hedidn’tbuyhersweetsorgifts,didn’tstopandnameplacestoherasheusedto.Herquestionsseemedtoirritatehim.丈夫Rasheed在她流产后的又一表现：带她上街少了Occasionally,hetookheraroundtown。即使在街上，走路很快，不顾玛丽亚姆能否跟上。事实上，玛丽亚姆跟不上，要跑着才能跟上他walkedquicklyandalwaysafewstepsaheadofher,withoutspeaking,unmindfulofMariamwhoalmosthadtorunt。而且不讲话，不买礼物给她了，也不停下来介绍地名给她didn’tbuyhersweetsorgifts,didn’tstopandnameplacestoherasheusedto，玛丽亚姆如果问问题，似乎也会激怒他irritatehim。足见他的不耐烦，以及对玛丽亚姆的嫌弃。他对玛丽亚姆已经没有爱了。25Hedidn’tlookatherwhenhesaidthis.Thesedays,heneverdidanymore,andMariamwasn’teversureifshewasbeingspokento.丈夫Rasheed对玛丽亚姆的冷漠的态度：说话不看她，而且有一段时间了，Hedidn’tlookatherwhenhesaidthis.Thesedays,heneverdidanymore,这相当于冷暴力。26Itwasn’teasytoleratinghimtalkingthiswaytoher,tobearhisscorn,hisridicule,hisinsults,hiswalkingpastherlikeshewasnothingbutahousecat.可怜的Mariam要容忍丈夫对她的冷漠与侮辱:bearhisscorn,hisridicule,hisinsults；这里多个his的重复，是修辞中的平行对照手法，形式整齐匀称，音律节奏铿锵，富有感染力。在灿烂千阳中，类似的句子表达有很多。在这里，我们可以感受到她丈夫对待她就像房子里的一只猫，不把她当人看待，让我们对玛丽亚姆的命运产生深深的同情。27Heputitinhismouth,chewedonce,thentwice,beforegrimacing（做鬼脸）andspittingitoutont