超级有趣的英语故事

v1.0可编写可改正IHaveHisEarinMyPocketIvancamehomewithabloodynoseandhismotherasked,"Whathappened""Akidbitme,"repliedIvan."Wouldyourecognizehimifyousawhimagain"askedhismother."I'dknowhimanywhere,"saidIvan."Ihavehisearinmypocket."伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再会到他你能认出来吗”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢他的耳朵在我衣兜里AGoodBoyLittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents."WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday""Igaveittoapooroldwoman,"heanswered."You'reagoodboy,"saidthemotherproudly."Herearetwocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman""Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了”“我给了一个可怜的老妇人，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为何对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢“她是个卖糖果的。”HospitalityThehostessapologizedtoherunexpectedguestforservinganapple-piewithoutanycheese.Thelittleboyofthefamilylefttheroomquietlyforamomentandreturnedwithapieceofcheesewhichhelaidontheguest'splate.Thevisitorsmiled,putthecheeseintohismouthandthensaid:"Youmusthavebettereyesthanyourmother,sonny.Wheredidyoufindthecheese""Intherat-trap,sir,"repliedtheboy.因为客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示抱歉。这家的小男孩悄悄地走开了房屋。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客人浅笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪”“在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。好客1v1.0可编写可改正面试人员给一位前来应征的男士一张简历表，于是就填了这样的信息——姓名：EnglishorChinese□英文的仍是中文的？年纪：Confidential（这是个人问题）身高：Notrelatedtothejob（这跟工作相关系么）体重：Variesallthetimebeforelunchorafter（随时改变饭前饭后都不一样居住地：Atwhatstageofmylifepleasebemorespecific（那是一个特其他地方，我生命的舞台）电话：Ericsson（爱立信手机）电子邮件：Onlygivetoprettyandrichgirls（只留给美丽和富裕的女孩）上班时间：Theshorterthebetter（越短越好）应征职位：Apositionthathasnotmuchtodobutsurroundbyprettyandyounggirls（找一个不做什么实事，但能被美女包围的职位）学历：Graduatedatthewildchickenuniversity（毕业于一个你找不着的大学语言能力：Fluentinbullshits（侃大山是专长）兴趣：Sleepingandsleeping（睡得暗无天日）诞辰：正月初七经历：Foolingaroundallthetime（游戏人生）曾任职位：Decentornotdecent□pleasebemorespecific（高级的或许初级的都是一种经历）已婚未婚：Stilllookingforarichandbeautifulgirl□hopefullycanfindinyourcompany（我正在找寻美丽又富裕的女孩，希望在你们企业能找到将来希望：Haveaspeechonstageandretireassoonaspossible（只负责主席台讲话，而且希望尽早走休）希望待遇：Lesserworkloadthebetter（比实质工作量拿得多就行Amothermousewasoutforastrollwithherbabieswhenshespottedacatcrouchedbehindabush.Shewatchedthecat,andthecatwatchedthemice.Mothermousebarkedfiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!"Thecatwassoterrified2v1.0可编写可改正thatitranforit'slife.Mothermouseturnedtoherbabiesandsaid,"Now,doyouunderstandthevalueofasecondlanguage"老鼠的第二语言也重要一只母老鼠带着孩子出来漫步，忽然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪，汪，汪"，猫听了特别惧怕，拼死跑走了。母老鼠回过头得意洋洋的对孩子说："此刻你知道外语的重要性了吧。"Tommy:Howisyourlittlebrother,JohnnyJohnny:Heisillinbed.Hehurthimself.Tommy:That'stoobad.Howdidthathappen？Johnny:Weplayedwhocouldleanfurthestoutofthewindow,andhewon.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。Therewasabarberinadevelopingcountrywhohadalittleshedattheroadsidetocuthair,andacertainmanusedtocomeinregularlyforhaircuts.Onedayhenoticedthatadogwasalwayssittingunderneath,nearthechairwherethecustomerssatfortheirhaircuts.Sothemanaskedthebarber,"Isthatyourdog"Andthebarberreplied,"No,healwayscomeseveryday.It'snotmydog.Idon'tknowwhosedogitis."Thenthecustomerasked,"Soifit'snotyourdog,youneverfeedhim,right"Andthebarbersaid,"No."Andthecustomersaid,"Thenwhydoeshealwayscomehereeveryday"Andthebarberanswered,"He'swaitingincaseanearcomesoff."AVeryPatientPooch一处简陋的乡间，一位剪发师傅在