读后续写练习写作指导 讲义-高考英语二轮复习写作专练_第1页
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读后续写练习写作指导APoorTurtle读后续写(满分25分)阅读卜.面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的150词左右的短文。1wasonafamilyvacationandoiuhotelwasriglitbesidetliesea.IwasreadingmybookbythebeachoneafternoonwlienIlieardsomenoisenearby.Curiously,Iputasidethebookandjoinedthegroupofpeopleneartlieedgeoftliesea.IwasstnickbywhatIsaw.Tlierewasagiantturtlewliicliwasupsidedown!Fomofitshugefeetwerewavingcrazilyintheail.anditslongwrinkledneckwasstietchuigfaroutofitsshell.Athickropewastiedaroundtheturtleandthefishennanheldontotheendofit.Obviously,theturtlewastryingtoescape.Somestanders-bywereclickingtheircamerasenthusiastically,fibningtheexcitingmoment.Thecrowdwastluilledbytliescenebeforethem.Onestiongly-builtman(blindapieceofwoodonthesand,carriedittowardstlieturtleandstalledpushingtheturtle'sheadwithit.Whentheendofthewoodtouchedtheturtle'shead,theturtletookitintoitsmouthandcheweditupinaninstant.“Wow!”thecrowdshouted."Didyouseethat?I'mgladitwasn'tmyarm!''apersonfromthecrowdexclaimed.*fcWaittillitgetssoldandbecomesturtlemeat!''anotlierjokedandtliecrowdlauglied.Suddenly.Iheaidaboy'sscreaming,fc*Ceasetorturingit!Getawayfiomthetmtle!',Weallturnedandsawaboyandhisfatliernuuiiiigtowardvvlieiewewere."Allofyouarecnielfbijuststandingtliereanddoingnotliingtosavetheturtle!Wouldyoulikeitifyouwerefbrceftillytakenawayfiomyourhomestobesoldandtortured?Animalsdeservetobetreatedwithkindnesstoo!''theboyshoutedatthegroupofadultsstandingonthebeach.Isensedasliglitchangeofmoodintliecrowd-amixtiueofimeaseandanger.注意:.续写词数应为150左右;.请按如卜.格式在答题后的相应位置作答。Embarrassedasthefatherwas,hewasnotashamedofhisson.Thefishennaiifinallyagreedtoletthetiullego.【第一稿批改与反馈】

七6士。:广1D_S«ed、U_S仅1已/q±Jir「^7CJ-£,K山公r.rrtD.jdiRdl、I0["w§cn、刀吊乩HiSAi>.ni^rtroAjk^人士Scr^^3、,h之丈ss电“八虱七卜巳cmyiah>Ms心&s电“八虱七卜巳s电“八虱七卜巳cmyiah>Ms心&必iR?SVpL若/;5吁九;1记7"它rlca~tx;k£上Mol”白ca~tx;k£上Mol”白_hT也?'馈

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?我电吕电N网一广个差区沁a八比k册匚1M,j*工上弓^ocJw,七$&F°°M&Aw:艮2At-h^ir,]口声此jt<x>oUr/M/比;仆利以已头3h&art.nt&re.ar.cl必力需p3评Ie八去七盘?:|弗儿丁"品0斤1戊”、,4e以一七3Ut-城匕七wr七Ed。,5上叼如,似亦必:.螃异•-货蜕四5上叼如,似亦必:.螃异•-货蜕四「"to|心eGkLwh;17k优以‘am”八儿产工好a&j加希讣俎八cdl员//以a吗'j…:指'”、电svQ,以说tMaGmk.小皿协皿饰会3-।7出内逸”laws1、两段从字数上看,也确实不达标。因此在细节描写上,很难深入,故事主旨也只是泛泛而谈,不够发人深省。2、语言的小错误也挺让人抓狂的:•摸摸某人的头:strokeone'shead要去掉on。•catch的过去分词应该是caught—小伙子暑假放得太“爽”了,回来要加点“料”了。•被嘲笑应该是bemadefunofof不能省略。・虚拟语气whatifyouweretheturtle与现实相反的虚拟,be动词用were。•句子开头第一个字母要大写,千万别忘记。•口寸态要上下文保持一致,join要变成joined.【第二稿批改与反馈】

如、“如、“久«O如、“久«O弧Jcctfer以怒,加吸s物tcu/wept域如、“久«Ohehemanneedectmo/i昭®riWd.hiihterr邛teZ4,旭如广s血如.ancLsaid从沆^g%ies&火:心,轴网小加所以勿温服切砒乐0版Ac”instoned野Jo八小加尿才后hemanneedectmo/i昭®riWd.hiihterr邛teZ4,旭如广s血如.ancLsaid从沆^g%ies&火:心,轴网小加所以勿温服切砒乐0版Ac”instoned野Jo八小加尿才后s期吧施砌唱㈣必/修巳,aaJOLVe寸印式£1加中A拓加ie-frvm跖。cUey吮俨ito十儿以比,1^,但经切血也j遍怠忘钝巴ar\cLjozAecl戒,也必ter0创s%!wmd@七局5noi产crtqf监>3Tke怙扇7W八fMa如缗空4七0既方能iurtUgo.SeeAg-t/uzt(xrtfc苧七而明r;cL。「曲巧也)a儿即】'罔smile,cnciecL°八虑刚£柩念,Somo诙t⑷酷工加施瓦眩旗产s山优。八《3M吆生耽工CjyM^-t3加H历此0m'/侬'a瓜兄耻的施,风少切玳1卜电此血七.几血地eq血§吸,/磁机防「ad加6处阳/cctartb■工guarun我2工试心力但叱a*nah如曲济苏p今o(5fr丽cfc、一、咱们先来看一下故事情节发展:本文以人物为事情发展的顺序为线索展开,讲述了作者和家人在海边度假时,看到一个渔夫正在折磨一只海龟,他将一根粗绳子绑在海龟身上,抓住它的尾巴,海龟四脚朝天,在苦苦挣扎。周围一群人在拍照,看笑话。突然,一个小男孩站出来,斥责渔夫和人们,并让渔夫将海龟放了的故事。二、段落续写:1、由第一段首句内容“尽管父亲很尴尬,但他并不以儿子为耻。”可知,第一段可描写父亲赞同儿子的做法,也站出来,让渔夫将海龟放了。2、由第二段首句内容“最终,渔夫同意放了海龟。”可知,第二段可描写渔夫将海龟放了,小男孩感到很高兴。三、故事脉络:Para1:父亲赞同儿子一一父亲站出来,让渔夫放了海龟一一作者也站出来一一人们都开始站出来让渔夫放了海龟Para2:渔夫放了海龟一一人群散去一一小男孩看着海龟游走,很高兴一一作者感动。那么,我们来看看这位同学的第一段该怎么去提升一下:,Embarrassedasthefatherwas,hewasnotashamedofhisson.Helookedaroundthecrowd,heavedadeepsighofdisappointmentandinsistedthatthefishermanshouldlettheturtlegofreelytothesearatherthantortureorteaseit.Uponhearingthefather'swords,thefishermanapparentlylookedirritated,hishandsgrabbingthegiantturtlemoretightly.Ibegantojointhefatherandson,echoedbackthegoodideaandrequestedforthereleaseoftheturtle.Withmoreandmorestanders-bysupportingfatherandson,thesceneseemedoverwhelminglymoving.第二段写得很棒哦〜.Thefishermanfinallyagreedtolettheturtlego.Seeingtheturtlegettingridoftherope,abeamingsmilecrackedontheboy'sface.SomovedwasIbytheboy'sresponsibilityandkindnessthatIcouldn'tcontaintobloomabroadandbrightsmile.Neverwi11Iforgetthatontheedgeofthesea,thefatherandsonsavedaturtle.IguaranteeIwilltreatanimalswithkindnessasfriends.修改后的范文Embarrassedasthefatherwas,hewasnotashamedofhi$son.Helookedaroundthecrowd,heavedadeepsighofdisappointmentandinsistedthatthefishermanshouldlettheYturtlegofreelytothesearatherthantortureorteaseit.Uponhearingthefatherswords,thefishermanapparentlylookedirritated,hishandsgrabbingthegiantturtlemoretightly.jbegantojointhefatherandson,echoedbackthegoodideaandrequestedforthereleaseoftheturtle.|愀由moreandmorestanders-bysupportingfatherandson,thesceneseemedoverwhelminglymoving.moving.Thefishermanfinallyagreedtolettheturtlego.moving.Thefishermanfinallyagreedtolettheturtlego.beamingsmilecrackedontheboy/sface.)Bo[Seeingtheturtlegettingridoftherope,amovedwasIbythebo/sresponsibilityandkindnessthatIcouldn'tcontaintobloomabroadandbrightsmile]NeverwillIforgetthatontheedgeofmoving.Thefishermanfinallyagreedtolettheturtlego.beamingsmilecrackedontheboy/sface.)Bo[Seeingtheturtlegettingridoftherope,amovedwasIbythebo/sresponsibilityandkindnessthatIcouldn'tcontaintobloomabroadandbrightsmile]NeverwillIforgetthatontheedgeofthesea,thefatherandsonsavedaturtleJguaranteeIwilltreatanimalswithkindnesssincetheyharmony.areourfriendsandwehumansshouldlivewiththemonthesameplanetin点评:harmony.1、对于续写的把握,总体上还是挺有感觉的。尤其是第二段,非常给力。2、在遣词造句时,莫亚可以把自己放在那个特定的情境中,然后采用课文已经学过的表达,把情境描述出来。之前背诵的语料库、句型都将是你取材的“宝库”。自己临时编写的句子,可能会有很多不通畅、不切合实际的问题存在。3、学以致用。【参考作文】参考作文写得很精彩,可以多品味几次,了解它的用词用句的精妙。Embarrassedasthefatherwas,hewasnotashamedofhisson."Iapologizedformyson'srudeness.Heisjuststandingupforwhathebelievesin,somethingthatItaughthimtodo.Pleaselettheturtlego,“hesaid,addressingthecrowd.Icould

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