九种帮助自己和他人的方式

1、九种帮助自己和他人的方式简介接受建议和提出建议的技巧。如何寻求指导？无论寻求两性关系的见解，还是咨询职业辅导，先问自己三个问题：我的顾问和我一样重视这件事吗？他和建议有什么利害关系？他们知道自己在说些什么吗？举例来说：如果汽车修理工说你的车不只需要调整发动机，你可能会征求别人的意见。其实，不论是有关你的汽车、你的健康或是你的孩子，你都应该征求其他意见。 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0307341445?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0307341445Thank You for Arguing

2、作者：杰伊海茵里希 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0307341445?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0307341445如何提供建议做这件事要谨慎。除非他们主动征求你的意见，大多数人都不希望得到别人的建议。当有人向你征求建议时，你不要迅速回答，要先仔细听听对方讲述的情况，确定对方真正想得到的是什么，然而站在她的立场上，提出她应该做，而不一定是你要做的建议。 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0307341445?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&cam

3、p=1789&creativeASIN=0307341445Thank You for Arguing 作者：杰伊海茵里希 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0307341445?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0307341445如何处理愤怒对付愤怒（避免心律失常）的三个最佳方案：你要知道生气是普遍现象。问问自己，是不是令自己生气的事情都是很重要的事情。说服自己。 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0061097535?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&ca

4、mp=1789&creativeASIN=0061097535Anger Kills合著者：愤怒控制顾问弗吉尼亚威廉姆斯博士和丈夫雷德福威廉姆斯医学博士 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0061097535?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0061097535如何活下去前总统约翰爱德华兹的妻子、前律师伊丽莎白爱德华兹，现年六十岁，是四个孩子的母亲。她曾经痛失十六岁的爱子韦德、忍受自己的乳腺癌复发。最近她公布了从丈夫竞选旅行的私人行为中得到的启示。她的生活规则有：灾难无处不在。因此，利用现有条件创造有意

5、义生活的人成为了榜样。这就是生活该怎样就怎样。找到安慰，就享受安慰。如何获得意见反馈如果有人给你意见反馈，要让他或她感到这么做是对的。如果你表现出抵触、生气或反驳，提建议的人就会告诉自己：“我不会再这么做了。”如果你让别人难以给你反馈，那么你的同事和朋友就会避开你，却依然按自己的感觉行事。如果你把反馈当做简单的数据来想，就会有很大帮助合理地保存这些建议；把它和其它上百条信息结合起来；不要过份看待任何一条信息；要把它当做提示来用。 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0385521332?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creati

6、veASIN=0385521332Whos Got Your Back: The Secret to Finding the Three People Who Will Change Your Life 作者：启斯法拉利如何给人反馈同样，建设性批评的第一条规则是：让别人感到安全。在你表达你的担忧时，你必须让那个人知道你很在意她的成功。 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0385521332?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0385521332Whos Got Your Back: The Secret

7、to Finding the Three People Who Will Change Your Life 作者：启斯法拉利 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0385521332?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0385521332如何表现诚实没有人真的想撒谎。甚至在日常事务中，为了增强影响力或自我保护，很容易回避、模糊、遗漏或改动信息。要想（为自己或他人）灌输诚实，就要考虑价值（“我想做什么样的人？”），而不是规则（“我应该”）。更多暗示：爽快承认。诚实不只是不说谎。想想孩子们。作为成年人，你能设置

8、措辞。接受，并誓言改变。即使没有人看着你，只要你做正确的事情，你就是诚实的人。促进道德规范的非赢利约瑟夫道德研究中心执行理事理查德渣克。如何获得快乐幸福工程网站创建者及即将出版的同名著作作者格雷琴鲁宾花了一年时间，测试她所能找到的有助于人们开心起来，尤其是在艰难时期开心起来的“每个原则、诀窍和理论”。“当人们感觉比去年情况更糟时，就面临着幸福的挑战。”鲁宾强调说。她的建议是什么？试着想想未来五年，你可能会重新获得立足点（你的房价也会升值）。如何帮助失业的朋友？失业并不丢人，因此，别用怜悯的目光看待你的失业朋友。要像平常一样。你一定要第一个伸出手去，做出支持的评价，让她知道自己的价值，只要她恢复

9、心情，就为她提供策略和网络。不要像慈善机关一样对待她，说些陈词滥调，或以严厉的方式表达爱。 HYPERLINK /gp/product/0137021143?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0137021143Rebound: A Proven Plan for Starting Over After Job Loss 作者：玛莎I芬尼9 Ways to Help Yourself and Others | Happiness | Readers DigestHow to Ask for Guidance Whe

10、ther youre looking for relationship insight or career counseling, ask yourself three questions: Does my adviser value the same things I do? Does he have a stake in the advice? Does he know what hes talking about? For example: When a mechanic says your car needs more than a tune-up, you might get a s

11、econd opinion. In fact, always get a second opinion, whether its about your car, your health, or your teenager. -Jay Heinrichs, author of HYPERLINK /gp/product/0307341445?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0307341445Thank You for ArguingHow to Give Guidance Do it sparingly. Mos

12、t people dont want advice unless they ask for it. When your advice is asked for, avoid answering too quickly, listen carefully to your advisees account of her situation and answer based on what she should donot necessarily what you would do, and determine what the recipient really wants. -Jay Heinri

13、chs, author of HYPERLINK /gp/product/0307341445?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0307341445Thank You for ArguingHow to Deal With Anger The three best ways to cope with your anger (and avoid the defibrillator): Recognize that anger is universal. Ask yourself if whatever made y

14、ou angry is important. Talk yourself down. -Anger-management consultant Virginia Williams, PhD, coauthor with her husband, Redford Williams, MD, of HYPERLINK /gp/product/0061097535?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0061097535Anger KillsHow to Survive Former lawyer, mother of f

15、our, and wife of former presidential candidate John Edwards, Elizabeth Edwards, 60, has endured the death of her beloved son Wade at 16, the recurrence of her breast cancer, and most recently, public revelations about her husbands private behavior on the campaign trail. Among her rules for living: A

16、dversity is everywhere. But so are examples of people who are making a meaningful life from the materials at hand. This is what life isfeel it all. 3. Take comfort where you find it.How to Take Feedback If someone is giving you feedback, make him or her feel that its okay to do so. If you act defens

17、ively, get angry, or push back, your adviser will make a note to self: I wont be doing this again. If you make it hard for others to give you feedback, then your colleagues and friends will avoid you but act on their feelings anyway. It will help if you think of feedback as simply data. Keep it in p

18、erspective. You want to combine it with a hundred other pieces of information. Dont supercharge any one piece of it. Use it as a clue. -Keith Ferrazzi, author of HYPERLINK /gp/product/0385521332?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0385521332Whos Got Your Back: The Secret to Find

19、ing the Three People Who Will Change Your LifeHow to Give Feedback The No. 1 rule of constructive criticism is, again, make the other person feel safe. Youve got to let that person know you care about her success while youre addressing your concerns. -Keith Ferrazzi, author of HYPERLINK /gp/product/

20、0385521332?ie=UTF8&tag=rdcom-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=0385521332Whos Got Your Back: The Secret to Finding the Three People Who Will Change Your LifeHow to Be Honest Nobody actually wants to be a liar. But its just so easy to fudge, blur, omit, and recast informationon even everyday mat

21、tersfor effect or self-protection. To inculcate honesty (in yourself and in others), think about values (What kind of person do I want to be?), not rules (I should not ). More pointers: Own up. Honesty is more than not telling lies. Think of the children. As a grown-up, you set the terms. Accept, an

22、d vow to change. Youre honest when you do the right thing even when nobody is looking. -Richard Jarc, executive director of the Josephson Institute, a nonprofit that promotes ethicsHow to Get Happy Gretchen Rubin, creator of the HYPERLINK /Happiness Project website and an upcoming book of the same name, spent a year testing every principle, tip, and theory she could find to help people cheer up, especially given the trying times. When people feel like theyre worse off than they were last year,