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1、回忆,永无止境回忆,似乎是一种永远都演绎不完的东西,虽然我们都不知道这样做有什么意义,但却也只能由着自己沦陷进去,像一趟没有归期的旅行,只顾着用自己的眼睛记录下一路的风景。当夏天的阳光掉落一地,而回忆正倾斜着倒影,灰色的影子透露着清晰的痕迹。关于爱情,总感觉像是一个谜语,想知道它的谜底却无迹可寻,是自己不够聪明还是那一道回忆的痕迹扯断了思绪,在瞬间空白的脑海里盘旋着腾空而过的飞机,只留下没有方向的回音。徘徊在低空的蜻蜓看不见翅膀的透明,恋上了花香的蝴蝶逃不过花谢的下季,雨滴的晶莹夹杂着回忆的哭泣,兑换一丝希冀倦透了眼睛。回忆与时间用沉默对峙,陌生与熟悉将过去拉开一段距离,爱情的粒子在这一段距离
2、之间漂浮不定。眼前切换着曾经的场景,在时间的刻度上迅速游移,来时的陌生相遇,去时的熟悉剧情,谜底揭开的结局像一场看烂了的电影,剧终人离。拖着永无止境的回忆在今夏的季风里被淋湿后等待天晴,而感情的泡影,在放晴后的阳光底是否重新绽放出美丽。弯曲的日光纠缠着夏天这个雨季,付出的努力和收获不一定会成比例,感情的最初不会和我们说明,解释已经是种暗喻,这种难题并非谁的故意,我们只能将当成一种游戏,遵守它设计好的规律,谁输了便淘汰出局。回忆在夏天的季风里止了息,新的故事会在某一天代替感情的旧景,而旋律在花开满地的季节里依然动听。How could anything that feels so bad be
3、so good?Maybe it is time to adopt a new strategy in trying to figure out why life today is so difficult, and what can be done about it. Assume that not only are things often not what they seem, they may be just the opposite of what they seem. When it comes to human affairs, everything is paradoxical
4、.People are discontented these days, for example, not because things are worse than ever, but because things are better than ever. Take marriage. In California there are about six divorces for every ten marriages - even higher in some of the better communities. One must admit that a good deal of dis
5、content is reflected in those statistics. But the explanation so frequently offered - that the institution of marriage is in a state of collapse - simply does not hold. Marriage has never been more popular and desirable than is it now; so appealing in fact, that even those who are in the process of
6、divorce can scarcely wait for the law to allow them to marry again.The problem is that people have never before entered marriage with the high expectations they now hold. Throughout history, the family has been a vital unit for survival, starting as a defense system for physical survival, and gradua
7、lly becoming a unit for economic survival. Now, of course, the family has become a physical and economic liability rather than an asset. Having met, as a society, the basic survival and security needs, people simply don't need each other anymore to fight Indians or spin yarn - or wash dishes or
8、repair electrical plugs for that matter. The bonds of marriage and family life are no longer functional, but affectional. People used to come to love each other because they needed each other. Now it's just the other way around. They need each other because they love each other.Listening to the
9、complaints of those recently divorced, one seldom hears of brutality and desertion, but usually something like, "We just don't communicate very well", "The educational differences between us were simply too great to overcome", "I felt trapped in the relationship", &
10、quot;He won't let me be me", "We don't have much in common anymore". These complaints are interesting, because they reflect high-order discontent resulting from the failure of marriage to meet the great expectations held for it. Couples now expect - and demand - communication
11、and understanding, shared values and goals, intellectual companionship, great moments of intimacy. By and large, marriage today actually does deliver such moments, but as a result couples have gone on to burden the relationship with even greater demands. To some extent it has been the success of mar
12、riage that has created the discontent.The same appears to be true in the civil rights movement. The gains that have been made have led not to satisfaction but to increased tension and dissatisfaction, particularly among those benefiting from such gains. The discontent is higher in the North than in
13、the South, higher in cities than in rural areas.The disturbing paradox of social change is that improvement brings the need for more improvement in constantly accelerating demands. So, compared to what used to be, society is way ahead; compared to what might be, it is way behind. Society is enabled
14、to feel that conditions are rotten, because they are actually so good.Another problem is that everything is temporary, nothing lasts. We have grown up with the idea that in order to develop personal security we need stability, roots, consistency, and familiarity. Yet we live in a world which in ever
15、y respect is continually changing. Whether we are talking about sky-scrapers or family life, scientific facts or religious values, all are highly temporary and becoming even more so. If one were to plot a curve showing the incidence of invention throughout the history of man, one would see that chan
16、ge is not just increasing but actually accelerating. Changes are coming faster and faster - in a sense change has become a way of life. The only people who will live successfully in tomorrow's world are those who can accept and enjoy temporary systems.People are also troubled because of the new
17、participative mood that exists today. It's a do-it-yourself society; every layman wants to get into the act. Emerson's "do your own thing" has become the cliché of the times. People no longer accept being passive members. They now want to be active changers.This participative
18、phenomenon can be seen in every part of contemporary life - on campus, in the church, in the mass media, in the arts, in business and industry, on ghetto streets, in the family.The problem is that modern man seems unable to redesign his institution fast enough to accommodate the new demands, the new
19、 intelligence, the new abilities of segments of society which, heretofore, have not been taken seriously. Consequently, people are frightened by the black revolution, paralyzed by student activism, and now face what may be even more devastating - the women's rebellion.Society simply has not had
20、these kinds of problems before, and to meet them it will have to adopt strategies for their solution that are as new, and as different, and as paradoxical as are the problems themselves.Instead of trying to reduce the discontent felt, try to raise the level or quality of the discontent. Perhaps the
21、most that can be hoped for is to have high-order discontent in today's society, discontent about things that really matter. Rather than evaluating programs in terms of how happy they make people, how satisfied those people become, programs must be evaluated in terms of the quality of the discont
22、ent they engender. For example, if a consultant wants to assess whether or not an organization is healthy, he doesn't ask, "Is there an absence of complaints?" but rather, "What kinds of complaints are there?"Instead of trying to make gradual changes in small increments, make
23、 big changes. After all, big changes are relatively easier to make than are small ones. Some people assume that the way to bring about improvement is to make the change small enough so that nobody will notice it. This approach has never worked, and one can't help but wonder why such thinking con
24、tinues. Everyone knows how to resist small changes; they do it all the time. If, however, the change is big enough, resistance can't be mobilized against it. Management can make a sweeping organizational change, but just let a manager try to change someone's desk from here to there, and see
25、the great difficulty he encounters. All change is resisted, so the question is how can the changes be made big enough so that they have a chance of succeeding?Buckminster Fuller ahs said that instead of reforms society needs new forms; e.g., in order to reduce traffic accidents, improve automobiles and highways instead of trying to improve drives. The same concept should be applied to human relations. There is a need to think in terms of social architecture, and to provide arrangements among people that evoke what they really want to see in themselves. Mankin
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