2019-2020学年北京高三英语学习专题英语写作中去除冗余现象的策略4-1

,英语写作中去除冗余现象的策略,高三年级英语学科,2019北京高考Lastweek,myclassorganizedanactivitywiththetheme“workingisthemostbeautiful”.Inoneclassmeeting,ourteacherinformedusofthisactivity.Backhomeafterschool,IpackedmybriefcasewithwhatIneeded.Nextday,myclassmatesandIhelpedthefarmerspickthewatermelons.Overdinnerthatevening,IsharedwhatIhaddonewithmyparents.(63words),CONTENTS,目录,单词及短语层面的冗余,01,单词及短语层面的冗余,Picture1:Fromthereport,Ilearntabouttheseriousnessofthepollutionsituation.Picture2:Afterthediscussion,wemadesomepreparationworkforourcampaign.（2020届海淀期末情景作文）,单词及短语层面的冗余,Picture1:Fromthereport,Ilearntabouttheseriousnessofthepollutionsituation.Picture2:Afterthediscussion,wemadesomepreparationworkforourcampaign.,单词及短语层面的冗余(1),汉语中的范畴词如：问题、现象、情况、工作、方案等Picture1:Fromthereport,Ilearntabouttheseriousnessofthepollution.Picture2:Afterthediscussion,wemadesomepreparationsforourcampaign.,词汇及短语层面的冗余(2),（基于2020届海淀期中情景作文）Lastweek,ourclassorganizedaseriesofactivitieswiththetheme“nationalflaginmyheart”,whichleftmeadeepimpression.OnMondayafternoon,ourteacherheldaclassmeetingonthetheme“nationalflaginmyheart”.Wewereexcitedaboutitandcouldntwaittogetstarted.,词汇及短语层面的冗余(2),（基于2020届海淀期中情景作文）Lastweek,ourclassorganizedaseriesofactivitieswiththetheme“nationalflaginmyheart”,whichleftmeadeepimpression.OnMondayafternoon,ourteacherheldaclassmeetingonthetheme“nationalflaginmyheart”.Wewereexcitedaboutitandcouldntwaittogetstarted.,词汇及短语层面的冗余(2),解决方案:1.用代词替换2.用其他同义表达替换,Lastweek,ourclassorganizedaseriesofactivitieswiththetheme“nationalflaginmyheart”,whichleftmeadeepimpression.OnMondayafternoon,ourteacherheldaclassmeetingonthattopic.Wewereexcitedaboutitandcouldntwaittogetstarted.,句子层面的冗余,02,句子层面的冗余（1）,平行结构,我家门前有两棵树,一棵是枣树,另一颗也是枣树.”-鲁迅秋夜,达西拿起一本书来，彬格莱小姐也拿起一本书来。（王科一译，上海译文出版社）Darcytookupabook;MissBingleydidthesame.(J.Austen:PrideandPrejudice),Almosteveryone,nomatterhowhandsomeheis,nomatterhowintelligentheis,nomatterhowrichheis,nomatterhowrosyhisprospectis,willneverregardhimselfashappyenough.Peoplewillneverregardhimselfashappyenoughnomatterhowhandsome,rich,orpromisingheis.,句子层面的冗余（2）,不必要的复合句子结构及过于复杂的长句,2020届海淀期中完形填空：LifehadpassedmebywhileIlivedmydaysinfastforward,ignorantlywishingfortomorrowandfailingtonoticeallthebeautifulthingsalongtheway.Friendships,victories,heartbreaks-havespedbymebecauseIwastoobusylookingtowardthefuture.Itseemslifealsohasitsownspeedlimit,andifyoufindyourselfgoingtoofast,youriskmissingthemomentsthatmakeitsospecial.Momentslikethis.TimCookoncewrote：WhenIarriveinmyofficeeachmorning,ImgreetedbyframedphotosofDr.KingandRobertF.Kennedy.Idontpretendthatwritingthisputsmeintheirleague.AllitdoesisallowmetolookatthosepicturesandknowthatImdoingmypart,howeversmall,tohelpothers.Wepavethesunlitpathtowardjusticetogether,brickbybrick.Thisismybrick.,句子层面的冗余（2）,不必要的复合句子结构及过于复杂的长句解决方案：使用更简单合理的句子结构，或将长句拆分，使文章长短句结合，通顺自然。,EarlyTuesdaymorning,wegatheredattheTiananmenSquareandstoodline,staringatthesoldiersandwatchingthenationalflagraisedatsunrise.2020届海淀期中EarlyTuesdaymorning,wegatheredattheTiananmenSquare.Standinginline,Istaredatthesoldiersandwatchedthenationalflagraisedatsunrise.,语篇层面的冗余,03,语篇层面的冗余（1）,关键动作中已包含的其他动作细节Tomysurprise,theBTVjournalistsheardaboutouractivityandwenttothecommunity.Theyinterviewedmeinthemiddleoftheactivity.Tomysurprise,IwasinterviewedbytheBTVjournalistinthemiddleoftheactivity.,Challengeyourself:,1OnMondayevening,Itookupthedailynewspaperafterdinnerasusual.Ireadanarticleonwhitepollution.2020海淀期末2Shockedbythephenomenonofwhitepollution,Idecidedtotakeactions.2020届海淀期末3Nextday,duringthebreaktime,Igatheredsomeofmyclassmates.Wesataroundadeskandhadadiscussion.2020海淀期末4Weborrowedthecomputerfromtheschoollibraryandsearchedforinformationaboutthenationalflag.Thenweborrowedsomebooksaboutthenationalflagandwereadthemattentively.2020届海淀期中5Thenationalflag,whichiscoloredbythebloodofsoldierswhosacrificedforthenationandisthesymbolofhopeforeveryChinesecitizenfueledmetostudyharderandmakemyowncontributiontotheprosperityanddevelopmentofChinainthefuture.2020届海淀期中,1OnMondayevening,Itookupthedailynewspaperafterdinnerasusual.Ireadanarticleonwhitepollution.1OnMondayevening,Ireadanarticleonwhitepollutionfromanewspaper.,2Shockedbythephenomenonofwhitepollution,Idecidedtotakeactions.2Shockedbywhitepollution,Idecidedtotakeactions.,3Nextday,duringthebreaktime,Igatheredsomeofmyclassmates.Wesataroundadeskandhadadiscussion.3Nextday,duringthebreak,myclassmatesandIhadadiscussion.,4Weborrowedthecomputerfromtheschoollibraryandsearchedforinformationaboutthenationalflag.Thenweborrowedsomebooksaboutthenationalflagandwereadthemattentively.4Wesearchedonlineforinformationaboutournationalflag.Thenwereadaboutitinbooksattentively.,5Thenationalflag,whichiscoloredbythebloodofsoldierswhosacrificedforthenationandisthesymbolofhopeforeveryChinesecitizenfueledmetostudyharderandmakemyowncontributiontot