三打白骨精英语话剧搞笑剧本附中文.ppt

ThreeTimesBeatingMonster.三打白骨精,T:唐僧(A)S:孙悟空(B)E:猪八戒(C)J:沙僧(D)B:白骨精(E)B1:B变成村姑B2:B变成太婆B3:B变化成老头,人物：,T:Emitofo,doyouknowwherewearenow?阿弥陀佛，我们这是到哪了？S:Bajie,map!八戒，地图！E:(摸出，递给S)S:Look,boss(凑近T)（T、S一齐转向E）师傅，请看。T:Bajie!HowManytimesIhavetoldyou,dontbringthesepicturesofbeautifulgirls!八戒，我跟你讲了多少次了，不要带这种美女的图片！E:Oh,boss!Forgiveme。(伸手拿回)哦，师傅！原谅我吧。T:(缩手)Illkeepitforyouuntilwereachthewest为师先替你保管，到西天了再给你。,E:But但是T:Emitofo,nothingislust,lustisnothing!Map?阿弥陀佛，色即是空，空即是色！地图？E:(递)Here.EmwehavearrivedinWhiteTigerMountain!AhIcantwalkonanymore!(坐)MystomachdoesntallowSo.给，嗯我们已经到白虎山了！哎呀，我走不动了！再说，我这肚子也饿了。S:FatPig!肥猪!E:Monkey,ifyoudaretosaythesetwowordsonceagain,Iwill,Iwill.死猴子，有本事再说一遍，再说S:Youwillwhat(凶相)?再说你怎么样？,E:Iwillhelpyoucatchfleas(跳蚤).我帮你抓虱子。S:Hm!哼！T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,IamabithungryCouldyougotogetmesomefood?悟空，我也有点饿了，你能去化些斋饭来吃吗？E:Yousee,bossishungry,too!你看，师傅不也饿了吗！T:Baijie!Dontforgetwhoatemylastmeal!八戒！不要忘了是谁吃了我的干粮！J:Butboss,ifamonstercomeswhilebrothermonkeyisaway.但是，师傅，假如妖怪趁猴哥不在来了呢T:EmItisaproblem.Wukong,doyouhaveanyidea?嗯这是个问题。悟空，你有什么办法没？,S:Noproblem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）没问题！（白骨精躲在一旁偷看）J:Thisis.?S:Electricnet!Imadethis.Nomonstercanapproachyouifyoustayinit!伏魔圈！只要待在里面，就没有妖怪能接近！T:Emok，wewillstayinit!嗯好的，我们会呆在里面的！S:Bye!(飞走)俺老孙去也。T:Letsplaycards!(三人开始打牌)音乐斗地主我们斗地主吧！B:Hm!Hm!Electricnet?Youaretoochildish.(变成B1)哈哈！伏魔圈？太小儿科了吧。B1:(接近三人，望着)CanIjoinyou?我也可以玩吗？,J:Imsorry,lady.WeareplayingFightingAgainstlandownerandthreepeopleareenough.不好意思，姑娘。我们在斗地主，三个人够了。B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!噢，机会来了！炸弹！T:Bomb?(打出)B1:DoubleKing!王炸！T:Oh.Iwin!Em,Lady,youareaboss-hand.Comeinandteachme!喔我赢了！嗯，姑娘，你是老手吧。进来教我！S:(回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)啊，妖怪！B1:（倒)Ah惨叫声T:(气愤)Wukong!Lookwhathavedone!Sheismyteacher!悟空！你在干嘛！她是我的师傅!S:Sheisamonster!她是妖怪！,T:Nonsense!(深呼吸)S:Oh,pleasedont噢，师傅，别T:Itstoolate!(唱)Oncemoreyouopenthedoor(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)太晚了！Oncemore(紧箍咒)S:Please,Please,oh,no(痛苦抱头)T:(呛住，咳)Wukong,Imdisappointedwithyou!悟空，为师早就跟你讲了！（不要乱杀生）B:(真身出现)Hm!SunWukong,Illteachyoualesson!(变成太婆)哼!孙悟空，让我教训一下你！B2:Hello,haveyouseenmydaughter?（长老）请问，你们见过我女儿没？T:Daughter?.(连忙挡住尸体)No,sorry!S:（咬牙切齿）Youmonster,Illbeatyouintohell!好你个妖怪，我打死你！E&J:AreyouOk,boss?(扶T)师傅，你还好吧？,J:Look,(伸食指)howmany?看，这是几？T:Two.(晕乎乎地)B3:SunWukong,gameover!(变成B3)孙悟空，游戏结束了！B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh.,mydaughter,mywife!Whodidit?!(哭喊)噢女儿，老婆子！谁干的？！S:Illkillyou,monster!(打)妖怪，我要打死你！T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.(险些晕，E,J扶住)Youhavekilledthreelives!你，你你已经伤了三条人命了！S:No,theyarenothumanbeings!Theyarecreatedbymonster!不，他们不是人！都是妖怪变的！T:Monster?Youarearealmonster!Neverletmeseeyou,go!妖怪？你才是妖怪！你走，不要再让我看见你！,S:(悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）人鬼情未了J:boss,brotherMonkeyis.师傅，猴哥这是T:Dontmentionthatguyanymore!不要再提他了！B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T:（惊）Youare.B:Howfoolishyouare,MrTang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)唐僧，你好愚蠢！B:(抓住T)Illenjoyyourmeatandblood,ha,ha.我要吃你的肉，哈哈哈哈S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)Athousandyearslater.T:Wukong?悟空E:Oh,BrotherMonkey!（猴哥）J:Ourheroisback!我们的英雄回来了！,T:I,Icantunderstand.Whathappened?发生什么事了？S:Boss,yourIQneedsincreasing!Thismonsterchangeditsappearanceintothreeshapesinordertocheatyou!师傅，你应该提高一下智商了！这个妖怪为了骗你变化成三个模样！T:How,howdidyoufindout?你怎么发现的？S:(沉默).Monk