Love_Actually_Script(真爱至上全部台词).doc

Love Actually Script - Dialogue Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world,I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow airport.General opinion makes out that we live in a world of hatred and greedI dont see that.Seems to me that love is everywhere.Often its not particularly dignified or newsworthy but its always there.Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives,boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.When the planes hit the Twin Towers,none of the phone calls from people on board were messages of hate or revenge,hey were all messages of love.lf you look for it, Ive got a sneaky feeling youll find that love actually is all around.LOVE ACTUALLYI feel it in my fingersI feel it in my toesFeel it in my toes, yeahLove is all around me And so the.- Im afraid you did it again, Bill. Its just I know the old version so well, you know.Well, we all do.Thats why were making the new version.Right, OK, lets go.I feel it in my fingers In my fingersI feel it in my toesFeel it in my toes, yeahLove is all ar.Oh, fuck, wank, bugger, shitting arsehead and hole.Start again.I feel it in my fingers In my fingersI feel it in my toesFeel it in my toes, yeahChristmas is all around me All around meAnd so the feeling growsSo the feeling growsIts written in the wind In the windIts everywhere I goEverywhere I goSo if you really love Christmas Love ChristmasCome on and let it snowCome on and let it.This is shit, isnt it?Yep, solid gold shit, maestro.- God, Im so late. - Its just round the corner, youll make it.You sure you dont mind me going without you?No, really. Im just feeling so rotten.- I love you. - I know.I love you even when youre sick and look disgusting.I know. Now, go or you will actually miss it.Right.- Did I mention that I love you? - Yes, you did. Get out, loser.Karen, its me again.Im sorry, I literally dont have anybody else to talk to.Absolutely. Horrible moment, though. Can I call you back?Of course.Doesnt mean Im not terribly concerned that your wife just died.Understood.Er, bugger off, call me later.So whats this big news?Weve been given our parts in the nativity playand Im the lobster.- The lobster? - Yeah.- In the nativity play? - Yeah. First Lobster.There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?Duh.Best sandwiches in Britain.Try my lovely nuts?Beautiful muffin for a beautiful lady.Morning, my future wife. OK, you can stop there. Thanks. I need a couple of orange gels.By the way, he introduced me as John but everyone calls me Jack.Oh, fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.He got me right, though. Im just Judy.Great, Just Judy!- No surprises? - No surprises.- Not like the stag night? - Unlike the stag night.- You admit the prostitutes were a mistake? - I do.And it wouldve been much better if theyd not turned out to be men?That is true.Good luck, kiddo. Prime Minister, over here!Thank you.- Welcome, Prime Minister. - Woh! I must work on my wave.How are you?- How are you feeling? - Erm.Cool. Powerful.Would you like to meet your household staff?Yes, I would like that very much indeed.Anything to put off actually running the country.- This is Terence. Hes in charge. - Morning, sir.Good morning. I had an uncle called Terence.Hated him, I think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.- This is Pat. - Hello, Pat.Good morning, sir. Im the housekeeper.Oh, right. I should be easier than the last lot.No nappies, no teenagers, no scary wife.And this is Natalie. Shes new, like you.- Hello, Natalie. - Hello, David. I mean, sir.Shit, I cant believe Ive just said that.And now Ive gone and said shit. Twice. Im so sorry, sir.You couldve said fuck and wed have been in real trouble.Thank you, sir. I had a premonition I was gonna fuck up on my first day.Oh, piss it!Right, Ill get my things and then lets fix the country, shall we?Yeah, I cant see why not.- Its all right. - Did you see what I did?- Yes, I did. - I just went blurh.- Hello there. - Im right over here.Yeah, Im in here. OK. Good. Thank you.Ah.Oh, no.That is so inconvenient.In the presence of God, Peter and Juliet have given their consentand made their marriage vows to each other.Theyve declared their marriage by the giving of rings.I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.And you resisted the temptation for surprises.Yeah, Im mature now. Love, love, loveLove, love, love- Love, love, love. - Did you do this?Er, no.Love, love, love, loveTheres nothing you can do that cant be doneOh, it.Theres nothing you can sing that cant be sungTheres nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the gameIts easyAll you need is loveAll you need is loveAll you need is love, loveLove is all you need.Look, its Pikey.Hello! What the hell are you doing here?Oh, I just popped over to borrow some old CDs.- The lady of the house let you in, did she? - Yeah.- Lovely, obliging girl. - Yeah.I thought Id pop back and see if shes better. This is good.- Oh. - Listen, erm, Ive been thinking.I think we ought to take Mum out for her birthday on Friday. What do you think?- I just feel weve been bad sons this year. - Sounds fine. A bit boring but fine. Hurry up, big boy!Im naked and I want you at least twice before Jamie gets home. I am so happy to see you!- Delicious delicacy? - Er, no, thanks.Taste explosion?- Food? - No, thanks.Yeah, a bit dodgy, isnt it?Looks like a dead babys finger. Oooh.Oh. Tastes like it, too.Im Colin, by the way.- Im Nancy. - Wicked.- What do you do, Nancy? - Im a cook.- Ever do weddings? - Yes, I do.- They shouldve asked you to do this one. - They did.- God, I wish you hadnt have turned it down. - I didnt. Right.- Ive worked out why I cant find true love. - Why is that?English girls. Theyre stuck up, you see.And I am primarily attractive to girls who are cooler, game for a laugh.Like American girls. So I should just go to America!Id get a girlfriend there instantly. What do you think?I think its crap, Colin.Thats where youre wrong.American girls would dig me with my cute British accent.- You dont have a cute British accent. - Yes, I do! Im going to America.Colin, youre a Ionely, ugly arsehole. Accept it.Never. I am Colin, God of Sex. Im just on the wrong continent, thats all.Bit of quiet while we finish the lighting, guys!- The traffic today was just. - Unbelievable.Judy, could you take the top off this time?Lighting need to know when were gonna see the, erm, nipples and when were not.Yes, OK. Right. At least its nice and warm in here.Not always the case, is it?I was standing in for Brad Pitt once on Seven Years In Tibet.- Yes, yeah. - Bloody freezing.Guys, times tight and we have to get the actors in.- Fine. - I promise I wont look. Right, lets have another look at that, please.Can you just put your hands on her breasts?- OK, yeah. Is that all right? - Yes.Ill warm them up!- And massage them, please. - Right.Its junction 13 thats just murder, isnt it? Total gridlock this morning.Jo and I had a lot of time to prepare for this moment.Some of her requests,for instance, that I should bring Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral,I was confident she expected me to ignore.But others she was pretty damn clear about.When she first mentioned whats about to happen,I said, Over my dead body.And she said, No, Daniel, over mine.And as usual, my darling girl.and Sams darling mum was right.So shes going to say her final farewell to you not through me but,inevitably,ever so coolly,through the immortal genius of the Bay City Rollers.Bye bye baby, baby goodbyeGoodbye baby, baby bye byeBye bye babyDont make me cry Goodbye baby, baby bye byeYoure the one girl in town Id marryGirl Id marry you now if I were freeI wish it could beI could love you but why begin it?Cos there aint any future in itShes got me but Im not free so.Bye bye baby, baby goodbyeGoodbye baby, baby bye byeBye bye baby, dont make me cryGoodbye baby, baby bye byeWish I never had known you.Do you love him?Er, er, what?No, l-I just thought Id ask bluntly in case it was the right questionand you needed someone to talk to about it and no one had ever asked you.No. No. No is the answer. Absolutely not.on my finger.So thats a no, then?Yes. Erm.Bye bye baby, baby goodbyeGoodbye baby, baby bye bye.This DJ, what do you reckon?- The worst in history? - Probably.I think it all hangs on the next song.Now heres one for the lovers.Thats quite a few of you, I shouldnt be surprised and a half.And they called it.- Hes done it, its official. - Worst DJ in the world.Oh, I guess theyll never know.Sarahs waiting for you.Oh, yes, of course, erm.Great, er, good, good.How are you doing, Mia? Settling in fine? Learning who to avoid?Absolutely.- Harry? - Sarah,switch off your phone and tell me exactly how long it is that youve been working here.Two years, seven months,three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?Um.Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and 30 minutes.Thought as much.- Do you think everybody knows? - Yes.- Do you think Karl knows? - Yes.Oh, that is. that is bad news.I just thought that maybe the time had come to do something about it.- Like what? - Invite him out for a drinkthen casually mention youd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.- You know that? - Yes.And so does Karl.Think about it, for all our sakes.Its Christmas.Certainly. Excellent. Will do.Thanks, boss.- Hi, Sarah. - Hi, Karl.Babe. Absolutely, fire away.Mia, Mia, would you turn that down?What is that?That was the Christmas effort from the once great Billy Mack.Oh, dear me, how are the mighty fallen.I can safely say that is the worst record Ive heard this century.Oh, and coincidentally, I believe Billy will be a gueston my friend Mikes show in a few minutes time.Welcome back, Bill.Billy, welcome back to the airwaves.New Christmas single, cover of Love Is All Around.Except weve changed the word love to Christmas.Yes, is that an important message to you, Bill? Not really, Mike.Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.- And thats not you? - Thats not me, Michael.When I was young and successful, I was greedy and foolishand now Im left with no one, wrinkled and alone.- Wow. Thanks for that, Bill. - For what?For actually giving a real answer to a question.It doesnt often happen here at Radio Watford, I can tell you.- Ask me anything, Ill tell you the truth. - Best shag you ever had?- Britney Spears. - Wow.No, only kidding!- She was rubbish. - OK, heres one.How do you think the new record compares to your old, classic stuff?Come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do the records crap.But wouldnt it be great if number one this Christmaswasnt some smug teenagerbut an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price?Those young popsters come Christmas will be stretched out nakedwith a cute bird balancing on their ballsand Ill be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager Joe,ugliest man in the world,fucking miserable because our fucking gamble didnt pay off.So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does,buy my festering turd of a record.And particularly enjoy the incredible crassnessof the moment we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.I think youre referring toIf you really love Christmas.Come on and let it snow. Ouch.So, here it is one more time,the dark horse for this years Christmas number one,Christmas Is All Around. Thank you, Billy. After this, the news.Is the new prime minister in trouble already?I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes- OK. Whats next? - The Presidents visit.Ah, yes, yes. I fear this is going to be a difficult one to play. Alex.Theres a strong feeling in the party we mustnt allow ourselves to be bullied- like the last government. - Here, here.This is our first really important test, lets take a stand.Right. Right. I understand that but I have decided.not to. Not this time.Lets not forget that America is the most powerful country in the world.Im not going to act like a petulant child.Who do you have to screw round here to get a cup of tea and a biscuit?Right.Yeah, come in.- These are from the Treasury. - Uh-huh.and these are for you.Excellent. Thanks a lot.I was hoping youd win, not that I wouldnt have been nice to the other bloke,just always given him the boring biscuits with no chocolate.Thanks very much. Thanks.Natalie.God, come on, get a grip. Youre the Prime Minister, for Gods sake.So what do you reckon to our new prime minister?Oh, I like him. I cant understand why hes not married, though.You know the type, hes married to his job.Either that or gay as a picnic basket.Excuse me, Judy, if you could just lower the nipples- and cheat them a bit to the left? - OK.I have to say, Judy, this is a real pleasure,its lovely to find someone I can actually chat to.- Thank you! - Oh, well, you know.- And ditto. - Thank you.The move again, please, Judy.- Ooh, sorry. - Oh, God, sorry. You all right?- Exciting news! - What?Ive bought a ticket to the States. Im off in three weeks.- No. - Yes!- To a fantastic place called Wisconsin. - No!Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin!No, Col! There are a few babes in America, I grant you,but theyre going out with rich, attractive guys.Tone, youre just jealous.You know perfectly well that any bar anywhere in Americacontains ten girls more beautiful and more likely to have sex with me- than the whole of the United Kingdom. - That is total bollocks. Youre mad.No, Im wise. Stateside I am Prince William without the weird family.- No, Colin, no! - Yes!- Nyet! - Da!- Nein! - Ja, darling!Right, the Christmas party, not my favourite night of the yearand your unhappy job to organise.- Tell me. - Its basic, really.Find a venue, over-order on the drinks, bulk buy the guacamoleand advise the girls to avoid Kevin if they want their breasts unfondled.- Wives and family and stuff? - Yeah. I mean, not children.But their wives and girlfriends, et cetera.Oh, Christ, you havent got some horrible six-foot, tight-T-shirt-wearing boyfriend?No. Ill just be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed.Really?Right.He now spends all the time in his room. I mean, hell be up there now.- Thats not unusual. My horrid son. - Bernard?Bernard. Stays in his room all the time. Thank goodness.Yeah, but Karen, this is all the time.Im afraid that theres something really wrong, you know?I mean, clearly its about his mumbut Christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all I know. At the age of 11? Well, maybe not his eyeballs, then. Maybe just his veins.The problem is his mum always used to talk to him, you know, and.I dont know, this whole stepfather thing seems suddenly to somehow matterlike it never did before.Listen, it was always going to be a totally shit time.Just be patient.And maybe check the room for needles.And then when he sometimes does come out, its obvious hes been crying.Its just such a ridiculous waste.And now if its going to ruin Sams life as well.I just dont know.Get a grip.People hate sissies.No ones ever gonna shag you if you cry all the time.Yeah. Absolutely.Helpful.So, whats the problem, Samuel?Is it just Mum or is it something else, huh?Maybe school?Are you being bullied?Or is it something worse?Can you give me any clues at all?- You really want to know? - I really want to know.Even though you wont be able to help?Even if thats the case, yeah.OK. Well.truth is, actually.Im in love.Sorry?I know I should be thinking about Mum and I am but Im in love.I was before she died and theres nothing I can do about it.- Arent you a bit young to be in love? - No.Ah, well. OK, well.Im a little relieved.- Why? - Because I.thought itd be something worse.Worse than the total agony of being in love?Er.No, youre right.Total agony.- Night, Sarah. - Night, Karl.Yeah, absolutely.Free as a bird. Fire away.Alone again.Naturally.- Ill deal with it. - Mm.- Ah. Natalie. - Sir.Thanks.Natalie.Erm, Im starting to feel.uncomfortable about us working so closely every dayand me knowing so little about you, it seems elitist and wrong.Well, theres not much to know.Well, erm, where do you live, for instance?Wandsworth. The dodgy end.- Ah, my sister lives in Wandsworth. - Oh.So which exactly is the dodgy end?At the end of the high street, Harris Street, near the Queens Head.- Oh, yeah, yeah, that is dodgy. - Hm.Erm, and you live with your husband? Boyfriend?- Three illegitimate but charming children? - No.Ive just split up with my boyfriend, so Im back with my mum and dad for a while.- Ah. Sorry. - No, its fine.Im well shot of him.- He said I was getting fat. - I beg your pardon?He said no oned fancy a girl with thighs the size of tree trunks.Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.No.You know, erm.being Prime Min