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英语课前3分钟演讲资料大全英语小笑话:Excited Remarks 激动的话Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! Im going to have one of those someday, his dads response always was Not as long as Im alive.One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! Im getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的爱好。只要看见一辆摩托车,他就会高兴得哇哇直叫,并激动地说:瞧这辆!瞧这辆,我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着,你就别想有这玩艺儿。一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话,有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。英语幽默笑话:Sharing the Apples 分苹果Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me Id have given you the large one and had the small one myself.Well, said Harry, thats what youve got, so what are you worrying about?妈妈给了哈里两个苹果,一个大一点,另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。所以,哈里就把小个的给了妹妹,自己开始啃那个大个的。哼,妹妹说,如果妈妈给了我,我会把大的给你,把小的留给自己的。对呀,哈里说,你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?英语笑话:要求加薪 Asking for a RaiseAt the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldnt bother people in the outer office.After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal(疯狂的) screams, hysterical(歇斯底里的) laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the managers secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?我在一家之声工作。经理把我叫进他的办公室,让我预试一下我们准备购买的一套新的音响效果设备。他关上门,以免打扰外面办公室的人。听了几个常规的音响效果后,我们开始试听低声的呻吟,狂乱的尖叫,歇斯底里的大笑,哀求声和枪声。最后我开门出去,从经理秘书旁边经过时,她抬起头问道:又要求加薪了?英语笑话:Fish net 鱼网Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?”老师发问道。“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。不是那样的 Its not thatA: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.A: No, it wasnt raining.A:我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。B:啊?那一定是把很大的伞吧!A:不是,当时并没有下雨。【每日一乐】谁是上帝?A little kid asks his father, Daddy, is God a man or a woman?一个小孩问他的父亲:“爸爸,上帝是男人还是女人?”Both son. God is both.“他二者皆是,孩子,上帝二者皆是。”After a while the kid comes again and asks, Daddy, is God black or white?过了一会,孩子又问:“爸爸,上帝是黑人还是白人?”Both son, both.“二者皆是,孩子,皆是。”The child returns a few minutes later and says, Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?孩子过了一会倒回来说:“爸爸,上帝是迈克杰克逊吗?”【每日一乐】男生永远不会说的八句话8 things youll never hear a man say8) Here honey, you use the remote.给,亲爱的,你来用遥控器吧。7) You know, Id like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.你知道,我也愿意再跟她约会,但她的胸部实在太大了!6) Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? Thats one movie I gotta see!哦!安东尼巴德拉斯和布拉德皮特?我一定要看那部电影!5) While Im up, can I get you anything?我起身的时候,要帮你(顺手)拿点儿什么吗?4) Sex isnt that important, sometimes I just want to be held.性不是那么重要,有时候我只想和你拥抱。3) Aww, forget Monday night football, lets watch Melrose Place.哦!星期一晚上看什么足球赛啊,我们来看飞跃情海吧!(女生超爱的电视连续剧。)2) Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.嘿,你试穿的时候我来帮你拿包包。1) We never talk anymore.人家再也不跟你说话了啦!No.1 A helping hand A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his head out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down. Is this yours? he asked. She said, Yes, could you bring it up? and the man agreed. On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and offered the man a drink. As she was very attractive he agreed. Shortly afterwards she said, Im about to have dinner. Theres plenty. Would you like to join me? He readily accepted her offer and both enjoyed a lovely meal. As the evening was drawing to a close the lady said, Ive had a marvelous evening. Would you like to stay the night? The man hesitated then said, Do you act like this with every man you meet? No, she replied, Only those who catch my eye. No.2 A Place to Sleep By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. Youve got to have a room somewhere. he pleaded. Or just a bed-I dont care where. Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, admitted the manager, and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. Im not sure itd be worth it to you. No problem, the tired traveler assured him. Ill take it. The next morning, John came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. When asked about how he slept, he replied, Never better. The manager was impressed. No problem with the other guy snoring, then? Nope. I shut him up in no time. Howd you manage that? He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room, John said. I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, Goodnight, beautiful. With that he sat up all night watching me. No.3 这些美好不会消逝 The pure.the bright,the beautiful, 一切纯洁的,辉煌的,美丽的, That stirred our hearts in youth, 强烈地震撼着我们年轻的心灵的, The impulses to wordless prayer, 推动着我们做无言的祷告的, The dreams of love and truth; 让我们梦想着爱与真理的; The longing after somethings lost, 在失去后为之感到珍惜的, The spirits yearning cry, 使灵魂深切地呼喊着的, The striving after better hopes- 为了更美好的梦想而奋斗着的- These things can never die. 这些美好不会消逝。 The timid hand stretched forth to aid 羞怯地伸出援助的手, A brother in his need, 在你的弟兄需要的时候, A kindly word in griefs dark hour 伤恸、困难的时候,一句亲切的话 That proves a friend indeed ; 就足以证明朋友的真心; The plea for mercy softly breathed, 轻声地乞求怜悯, When justice threatens nigh, 在审判临近的时候, The sorrow of a contrite heart- 懊悔的心有一种伤感- These things shall never die. 这些美好不会消逝。 Let nothing pass for every hand 在人间传递温情 Must find some work to do ; 尽你所能地去做; Lose not a chance to waken love- 别错失去了唤醒爱的良机- Be firm,and just ,and true; 为人要坚定,正直,忠诚; So shall a light that cannot fade 因此上方照耀着你的那道光芒 Beam on thee from on high. 就不会消失。 And angel voices say to thee-你将听到天使的声音在说- These things shall never die. 这些美好不会消逝。 Fox and cock One morning a fox sees a cock.He think,This is my breakfast. He comes up to the cock and says,I know you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?The cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away. The people in the field see the fox.They cry,Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.The cock says to the fox,Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs. The fox opens his mouth ang says,The cock is mine,not yours.Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree. 狐狸和公鸡 一天早上,一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想:这是我的早餐。 他朝公鸡走来,对他说:“我知道,你能唱得非常好听,你能唱给我听么?”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。 在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫:“看,看!狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说:“狐狸先生,你能理解么?人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的,不是他们的。” 狐狸张开她的嘴说:“公鸡是我的,不是你们的。”就在那时,。公鸡跑到了树底下。 Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! Im very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “Life”. I hope you will like it , Mans life is a process of growing up, actually Im standing here is a growth. If a persons life must constituted by various choices, then I grow up along with these choices. Once I hope I can study in a college in future, however thats passed, as you know I come here, now I wonder what the future holds for (= what will happen to) me. When I come to this school, I told to myself: this my near future, all starts here. Following I will learn to become a man, a integrated man, who has a fine body, can take on important task, has independent thought, an open mind, intensive thought, has the ability to judge right and wrong, has a perfect job. Once my teacher said :” you are not sewing, you are stylist; never forget which you should lay out to people is your thought, not craft.” I will put my personality with my interest and ability into my study, during these process I will combine learning with doing. If I can achieve this “future”, I think that I really grow up. And I deeply believe kindred, good-fellowship and love will perfection and happy in the future. How to say future? Maybe its a nice wish. Lets make up our minds, stick to it and surely well enjoy our life. 先生们女士们,大家下午好!我非常荣幸站在这里为你们带来一段小小的演讲,我今天所要讲的主题是“生命”,我希望你们喜欢。 人们的生活正在逐步的改善着。实际上,我站在这里就正在成长。如果一个人的生命必须面对许多各种各样的选择,那么,我会一边选择,一边成长。曾经我希望我能在将来在大学里学习,不管怎么样,我考过了,如你所见到的,我现在正站在这梦寐以求的大学里,可是现在,我更渴望知道我的未来会有什么等着我。 当我来到这所学校的时候,我告诉我自己。我的将来就从这里开始,接下来,我要学着去成为一个男人,一个?的男人,并有一个健康的身体。能够胜任重任,能有独到的见解,能见识广泛,能思想深邃,能判断出对的和错的,能工作的非常出色。 我的老师曾经说过:“你不闭塞,你可以自成流派。永远不要忘记你所能展示给人们是你的思想,不是你的技术。”我将把我的人格和我的兴趣以及我的能力带到我的学习中去,在这个过程中,我将注重实践和理论的结合。如果我能实现我的这个梦想,我想,我那时就真正的长大了,那时我相信我的亲情,友情,爱情将会变的十分完美,十分幸福。 你对你的将来怎么看呢?可能那会是一个很美好的愿望。让我们坚定我们的目标,为之努力,并真正的享受我们的生命. 希望你满意! 作为一个小主人,我真想成为一名光荣的奥运志愿者,可是到了那时,我还太小,不能成为一个真正的志愿者,但是,我依然可以为北京奥运会做出自己的贡献。 As a littke host , I really want to be honorable volunteer for it, however, I am still too young to be a real volunteer , but I can still contribute for it (according as I am able) 首先,作为一个北京市的小市民,我要用我的热情、我的笑容迎接每一个来自世界各地的外国朋友,展示出我们北京人友好好客的精神风貌,让外国朋友们通过每一张北京人的笑脸感受北京。 First , as a citizen of Beijing, I will welcome every friend from all over the world with my enthusiasm and smile to show us beijing peoples friendship and hospitality. And let theforeigh friends know(feel) Beijing from the smile on our face 其次,我要更加努力的学习英语,在奥运会举办期间,能够用英语和外国朋友们说话、交流,为他们提供我力所能及的帮助,比如:做个小翻译、帮外国人指路等等,让外国朋友通过每一个北京人热情的帮助喜欢北京。 Then/second, I will study English harder.During the Olympic Games ,I can communicate with the foreigh friends in english and serve for them such as to be a interpreter and show them the way, let them love beijing more from our enthusiastic help 再次,我也要学习更多的有关北京、奥运的知识,将来可以为外国朋友介绍咱们美丽的北京,以及北京悠久的历史和灿烂的文化,要让他们通过和每一个北京人的交流更加了解北京,了解中国。 爱爱英语学习风站 Third, I will learn more knowadge about Beijing and The Olympic Games in order to introduce the beautiful beijing to foreigners and its long history and splendor culture in the future.Let them K
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