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1、Book 3 Unit 1 PersonalityThe Misery of Shyness Shyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many people. All kinds of people describe themselves as shy: short, tall, dull, intelligent, young, old, slim, overweight. Shy people are anxious and self-conscious; that is, they are excessively conc
2、erned with their own appearance and actions. Worrisome thoughts are constantly swirling in their minds: What kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? Im ugly. Im wearing unattractive clothes. It is obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adversely. A pe
3、rsons self-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way a person behaves affects other peoples reactions. In general, the way people think about themselves has a profound effect on all areas of their lives. For instance, people who have a positive sense of self-worth or high self-e
4、steem usually act with confidence. Because they have self-assurance, they do not need constant praise and encouragement from others to feel good about themselves. Self-confident people participate in life enthusiastically and spontaneously. They are not affected by what others think they should do.
5、People with high self-esteem are not hurt by criticism; they do not regard criticism as a personal attack. Instead, they view a criticism as a suggestion for improvement. In contrast, shy people, having low self-esteem, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. They need reassurance
6、that they are doing the right thing. Shy people are very sensitive to criticism; they feel it confirms their inferiority. They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments because they believe they are unworthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one
7、: Youre just saying that to make me feel good. I know its not true. It is clear that, while self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is detrimental, or harmful. Can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced? Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determined and patient ef
8、fort in building self-confidence. Since shyness goes hand in hand with lack of self-esteem, it is important for people to accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths. For example, most people would like to be A students in every subject. It is not fair for them to label themselves as inferior
9、 because they have difficulty in some areas. Peoples expectations of themselves must be realistic. Dwelling on the impossible leads to a sense of inadequacy, and even feelings of envy, or jealousy. We are self-destructive when we envy a student who gets better grades. If you are shy, here are some s
10、pecific helpful steps toward building self-confidence and overcoming shyness: 1. Recognize your personal strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has both. As self-acceptance grows, shyness naturally diminishes. 2. Set reasonable goals. For example, you may be timid about being with a group of strangers a
11、t a party. Dont feel that you must converse with everyone. Concentrate on talking to only one or two people. You will feel more comfortable. 3. Guilt and shame are destructive feelings. Dont waste time and energy on them. Suppose you have hurt someones feelings. Feeling ashamed accomplishes nothing.
12、 Instead, accept the fact that you have made a mistake, and make up your mind to be more sensitive in the future. 4. There are numerous approaches to all issues. Few opinions are completely right or wrong. Dont be afraid to speak up and give your point of view. 5. Do not make negative comments about
13、 yourself. This is a form of self-rejection. Avoid describing yourself as stupid, ugly, a failure. Accent the positive. 6. Accept criticism thoughtfully. Do not interpret it as a personal attack. If, for example, a friend complains about your cooking, accept it as a comment on your cooking, not your
14、self. Be assured that you are still good friends, but perhaps your cooking could improve. 7. Remember that everyone experiences some failures and disappointments. Profit from them as learning experiences. Very often a disappointment becomes a turning point for a wonderful experience to come along. F
15、or instance, you may be rejected by the college of your choice. However, at the college you actually attend, you may find a quality of education beyond what you had expected. 8. Do not associate with people who make you feel inadequate. Try to change their attitude or yours, or remove yourself from
16、that relationship. People who hurt you do not have your best interests at heart. 9. Set aside time to relax, enjoy hobbies, and re-evaluate your goals regularly. Time spent this way helps you learn more about yourself. 10. Practice being in social situations. Dont isolate yourself from people. Try m
17、aking one acquaintance at a time; eventually you will circulate in large groups with skill and self-assurance. Each one of us is a unique, valuable individual. We are interesting in our own personal ways. The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential. Let
18、s not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life. Two Ways of Looking at Life Your attitude strongly reflects your outlook on life. Take a closer look at that connection. Are you a pessimistor an optimist? Can you see how your way of looking actually does color your attitude?
19、And remember: change your outlook and you change your attitude. The father is looking down into the crib at his sleeping newborn daughter, just home from the hospital. His heart is overflowing with awe and gratitude for the beauty of her, the perfection. The baby opens her eyes and stares straight u
20、p. The father calls her name, expecting that she will turn her head and look at him. Her eyes dont move. 4 He picks up a furry little toy attached to the rail of the crib and shakes it, ringing the bell it contains. The babys eyes dont move. His heart has begun to beat rapidly. He finds his wife in
21、their bedroom and tells her what just happened. She doesnt seem to respond to noise at all, he says. Its as if she cant hear. Im sure shes all right, the wife says, pulling her dressing gown around her. Together they go into the babys room. She calls the babys name, jingles the bell, claps her hands
22、. Then she picks up the baby, who immediately becomes lively and makes happy sounds. My God, the father says. Shes deaf. No, shes not, the mother says. I mean, its too soon to say a thing like that. Look, shes brand-new. Her eyes dont even focus yet. But there wasnt the slightest movement, even when
23、 you clapped as hard as you could. The mother takes a book from the shelf. Lets read whats in the baby book, she says. She looks up hearing and reads out loud: Dont be alarmed if your newborn fails to be startled by loud noises or fails to turn toward sound. Reactions to sound often take some time t
24、o develop. Your pediatrician can test your childs hearing neurologically. There, the mother says. Doesnt that make you feel better? Not much, the father says. It doesnt even mention the other possibility, that the baby is deaf. And all I know is that my baby doesnt hear a thing. Ive got the worst fe
25、eling about this. Maybe its because my grandfather was deaf. If that beautiful baby is deaf and its my fault, Ill never forgive myself. Hey, wait a minute, says the wife. Youre worrying too much. Well call the pediatrician first thing Monday. In the meantime, cheer up. Here, hold the baby while I fi
26、x her blanket. Its all pulled out. The father takes the baby but gives her back to his wife as soon as he can. All weekend he finds himself unable to prepare for next weeks work. He follows his wife around the house, thinking about the babys hearing and about the way deafness would ruin her life. He
27、 imagines only the worst: no hearing, no development of language, his beautiful child cut off from society, locked in a soundless world. By Sunday night he has sunk into despair. The mother leaves a message with the pediatricians answering service asking for an early appointment Monday. She spends t
28、he weekend doing her exercises, reading, and trying to calm her husband. The pediatricians tests are reassuring, but the fathers spirits remain low. Not until a week later, when the baby shows her first startle to the loud sound of a passing truck, does he begin to recover and enjoy his new daughter
29、 again. This father and mother have two different ways of looking at the world. Whenever something bad happens to hima call from the bank manager, a disagreement with his wife, even a frown from his employerhe imagines the worst: bankruptcy, jail, divorce, and dismissal. He is prone to depression; h
30、e often feels extremely tired; his health suffers. She, on the other hand, sees bad events in their least threatening light. To her, they are temporary challenges to be overcome. After a reversal, she bounces back quickly, and finds all her energy again. Her health is excellent. The optimists and th
31、e pessimists: I have been studying them for the past twenty-five years. The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of
32、this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault: circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are not bothered by
33、defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder. These two habits of thinking about causes have consequences. Literally hundreds of studies show that pessimists give up more easily and get depressed more often. These experiments also show that optimists do much
34、better in school and at work. They regularly exceed the predictions of aptitude tests. When optimists run for office, they are more apt to be elected than pessimists are. Their health is unusually good. Evidence suggests they may even live longer. Twenty-five years of study has convinced me that if
35、we habitually believe, as does the pessimist, that misfortune is our fault, is enduring, and will undermine everything we do, more of it will happen to us than if we believe otherwise. I am also convinced that if we are in the grip of this view, we will get depressed easily, we will accomplish less
36、than our potential, and we will even get physically sick more often. Pessimistic prophecies are self-fulfilling. You Are What You Think Do you see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty? Do you keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole? Suddenly these clich s are scientific questions
37、, as researchers scrutinize the power of positive thinking. A fast-growing body of research104 studies so far, involving some 15,000 peopleis proving that optimism can help you to be happier, healthier and more successful. Pessimism leads, by contrast, to hopelessness, sickness and failure, and is l
38、inked to depression, loneliness and painful shyness. If we could teach people to think more positively, says psychologist Craig A. Anderson of Rice University in Houston, it would be like inoculating them against these mental ills. Your abilities count, explains psychologist Michael F. Scheier of Ca
39、rnegie-Mellon University in Pittsburgh, but the belief that you can succeed affects whether or not you will. In part, thats because optimists and pessimists deal with the same challenges and disappointments in very different ways. Take, for example, your job. In a major study, psychologist Martin E.
40、 P. Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and colleague Peter Schulman surveyed sales representatives at the Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. They found that the positive thinkers among long-time representatives sold 37 percent more insurance than did the negative thinkers. Of newly hired repres
41、entatives, optimists sold 20 percent more. Impressed, the company hired 100 people who had failed the standard industry test but had scored high on optimism. These people, who might never have been hired, sold 10 percent more insurance than did the average representative. How did they do it? The sec
42、ret to an optimists success, according to Seligman, is in his explanatory style. When things go wrong the pessimist tends to blame himself. Im no good at this, he says. I always fail. The optimist looks for other explanations. He blames the weather, the phone connection, even the other person. That
43、customer was in a bad mood, he thinks. When things go right, the optimist takes credit while the pessimist thinks success is due to luck. Negative or positive, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. If people feel hopeless, says Anderson, they dont bother to acquire the skills they need to succeed. A se
44、nse of control, according to Anderson, is the real test for success. The optimist feels in control of his own life. If things are going badly, he acts quickly, looking for solutions, forming a new plan of action, and reaching out for advice. The pessimist feels like a toy of fate and moves slowly. H
45、e doesnt seek advice, since he assumes nothing can be done. Optimists may think they are better than the facts would justifyand sometimes thats what keeps them from getting sick. In a long-term study, researchers examined the health histories of a group of Harvard graduates, all of whom were in the
46、top half of their class and in fine physical condition. Yet some were positive thinkers, and some negative. Twenty years later, there were more middle-age diseases among the pessimists than the optimists. Many studies suggest that the pessimists feeling of helplessness undermines the bodys natural d
47、efenses, the immune system. Dr Christopher Peterson of the University of Michigan has found that the pessimist doesnt take good care of himself. Feeling passive and unable to dodge lifes blows, he expects ill health and other misfortunes, no matter what he does. He eats unhealthy food, avoids exerci
48、se, ignores the doctor, has another drink. Most people are a mix of optimism and pessimism, but are inclined in one direction or the other. It is a pattern of thinking learned from early childhood, says Seligman. It grows out of thousands of cautions or encouragements, negative statements or positiv
49、e ones. Too many donts and warnings of danger can make a child feel incompetent, fearfuland pessimistic. As they grow, children experience small triumphs, such as learning to tie shoelaces. Parents can help turn these successes into a sense of control, and that breeds optimism. Pessimism is a hard h
50、abit to breakbut it can be done. In a series of studies, Dr Carol Dweck of the University of Illinois has been working with children in the early grades of school. As she helps students to change the explanations for their failuresfrom I must be dumb to I didnt study hard enoughtheir academic perfor
51、mance improves. So, if you re a pessimist, theres reason for optimism. You can change. Heres how, says Steve Hollon, a psychologist at Vanderbilt University: 1. Pay careful attention to your thoughts when bad things happen. Write down the first thing that comes to mind, without any changes or correc
52、tions. 2. Now try an experiment. Do something thats contrary to any negative reactions. Lets say something has gone wrong at work. Do you think, I hate my job, but I could never get a better one? Act as if that werent so. Send out r sum s. Go to interviews. Look into training and check job informati
53、on. 3. Keep track of what happens. Were your first thoughts right or wrong? If your thoughts are holding you back, change them, says Hollon. Its trial and error, no guarantees, but give yourself a chance. Positive thinking leads to positive actionand reaction. What you expect from the world, the evi
54、dence suggests, is what youre likely to get.Unit 2 Myths and LegendsWhy the Tortoises Shell Is Not Smooth The distant sound of low voices, broken now and again by singing, reached Okonkwo from his wives huts as each woman and her children told folk stories. Ekwefi and her daughter, Ezinma, sat on a
55、mat on the floor. It was Ekwefis turn to tell a story. Suddenly the murmuring stopped and all eyes turned to their favorite and most skillful storyteller. Once upon a time, she began, all the birds were invited to a feast in the sky. They were very happy and began to prepare themselves for the great
56、 day. They painted their bodies deep red and drew beautiful patterns on them with dye. Tortoise saw all these preparations and soon discovered what it all meant. Nothing that happened in the world of the animals ever escaped his notice; he was full of cunning. As soon as he heard of the great feast
57、in the sky his throat began to itch at the very thought. There was a famine in those days and Tortoise had not eaten a good meal for two moons. His body rattled like a dry stick in his empty shell. Slowly but surely he began to plan how he would go to the sky. But he had no wings, said Ezinma. Be pa
58、tient, replied her mother. That is the story. Tortoise had no wings, but he went to the birds and asked to be allowed to go with them. We know you too well, said the birds when they had heard him. You are full of cunning and you are ungrateful. If we allow you to come with us you will soon begin your mischief. We know you of old. You do not know me, said Tortoise. I am a changed man. I am not the mischievous man you once knew. On the contrary, I am thoughtful and well-meaning. I have learned that a man who makes trouble for others is also making trouble for himself. Rest assured, I promi
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