广东省深圳市高三下学期一模英语读后续写勇于修正错误课件

2025深一模读后续写勇于弥补错误1

ThecarturnedontothefamiliarroadthatledtoGrandma'sfarm.“Jude,thissummerholidaywillbeagreatchanceforyoutostaywithyourgrandma,”Dadsaidashedrove.Everymoment,weweremovingfartherawayfromthecity,theplacewhereIknewhowtodothingsright.2

Thecarenginewasn'toffbeforeGrandmahuggedme.Islowlydraggedmyselfoutofthecar."Jude,youlookunhappy.Why?"Grandmaasked.Sheactedlikenothingbadhadhappenedlasttime.CouldIaskhowmuchmoneyherneighborMr.Jacksonhadlostbecauseofmymistake?Washestillupsetwithme?“I'mfine,”Ianswered.“I'mjustmissingmycomputercamp.ComputersaresomethingI'mgoodat.”“Thatsoundsdisappointing,”Grandmanodded.3

IlikedvisitingthefarmduringbreaksbeforeImessedthingsuplastsummer.Grandmalivedalone,andMr.Jacksonwaslikefamilytoher.ThenonedayIforgottolockthegateandletthegoatsintohisflowerbeds.Helostalmostallhisrosesforthefarmers'market.4

Now,backatthefarm,Ifeltnervous.IwastryingtohideintheroomwhenIsawMr.Jackson!HewasopeningthedoorandcallingGrandma.“Ineedhelp!”heyelledtoher.“Justasecondforthefreshlyharvestedroses!”Thatwaswhenhesawme.Ifeltmyhearttightenandwasreadyforhiscriticism.Idescrvedit.Hehadprobablybeenwaitingforthismomentsincelastsummer.5

However,Mr.Jacksongreetedmehappily,“Great,Judeishere!Yourgrandmaalwaystellsusyouareawonderfullycompetent(有能力的)computerprogrammer.”Ishookmyhead.“Iamnotcompetent.IamsorryImessedthingsup.”Hewassurprisedandcomfortedme,“Itwasanaccident.Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.”6

Ilookedoutofthewindow.Therewerepilesofroseswaitingtobesold.“Jude,canyouhelpus?Wewanttosellrosesonline.Wehaveacomputerandalltheparts(零件)forourinternetconnection,butwejustcan'tsetitup,”Grandmaasked.Nointernet.Theyseemedtoliveinthetwentiethcentury.续写第一段：MaybeIcouldbesomeonewhowasreallycompetent.续写第二段：Withinafewhours,ordersforrosesfloodedin.一、主旨归纳

Theme总结主旨的方法找有深意的话（伏笔），进行改写与拓展摔坏的碗：“Thingsbreak,it’snotanyone’sfault.”Matt的盆栽：“Wecanstillhavetreesinthecity,”Mumsaid.“Althoughtheyarealittlebitdifferentfromtheonesinthecountryside.”、“Andwheretherearetrees,therearebirds,too.”Mattrepliedsoftly,givingathoughtfulnod.“Exactly,Matt.Thesebonsaihelpsbringnatureclosertous,whereverwelive.”Mattfeltlikethebonsaiandtheblackbirdhadmadeahomeinsidehisheart,bringingasenseofpeacetohisurbanlife,inanew,unexpectedform.总结主旨的方法

找有深意的话（伏笔），进行改写与拓展勇于弥补错误：Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.共同点：1.成年人讲的

有第二层含义的话（鼓励/宽慰/启发等）2.很多时候都是“反说”等待着你在主旨中“正说”如摔坏的碗：原文：Thingsbreak,it’snotanyone’sfault.

主旨改写：Thingsbreak,butlovedoesn’t,becauseloveliesinmutualunderstanding,supportandtolerance.总结主旨的方法找有深意的话（伏笔），进行改写与拓展勇于弥补错误：Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.正说：Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.It’sabout________________________________facingthemhead-on,havingtheabilitytolearnfromthem,fixingthemandmakingthingsrightwhengiventhechance.总结主旨的方法关注意象，往往与主旨强相关Matt与盆栽里的:Bonsai;blackbird摔碎的碗里的：thebrokenbowl圣诞节礼物的：boots;turkeyorham勇于承担错误里的：roses总结主旨的方法关注意象，往往与主旨强相关主旨再升级，加入意象：Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.It’saboutfacingthemhead-on,havingtheabilitytolearnfromthem,fixingthemand_______________________.bloomingintosomethingbeautiful,justliketheroseswe’renowselling.“勇于弥补错误”主旨总结Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.Instead,itwasaboutfacingthemhead-on,havingtheabilitytolearnfromthem,fixingthemandbloomingintosomethingbeautiful,justliketheroseswe’renowselling.1.关注负面---正面（逃避问题---直面解决---修复）2.关注有深意的话---改写&拓展3.关注意象，深挖比喻二、伏笔发掘

foreshadowing1

ThecarturnedontothefamiliarroadthatledtoGrandma'sfarm.“Jude,thissummerholidaywillbeagreatchanceforyoutostaywithyourgrandma,”Dadsaidashedrove.Everymoment,weweremovingfartherawayfromthecity,theplacewhereIknewhowtodothingsright.2

Thecarenginewasn'toffbeforeGrandmahuggedme.Islowlydraggedmyselfoutofthecar."Jude,youlookunhappy.Why?"Grandmaasked.Sheactedlikenothingbadhadhappenedlasttime.CouldIaskhowmuchmoneyherneighborMr.Jacksonhadlostbecauseofmymistake?Washestillupsetwithme?“I'mfine,”Ianswered.“I'mjustmissingmycomputercamp.ComputersaresomethingI'mgoodat.”“Thatsoundsdisappointing,”Grandmanodded.3

IlikedvisitingthefarmduringbreaksbeforeImessedthingsuplastsummer.Grandmalivedalone,andMr.Jacksonwaslikefamilytoher.ThenonedayIforgottolockthegateandletthegoatsintohisflowerbeds.Helostalmostallhisrosesforthefarmers'market.4

Now,backatthefarm,Ifeltnervous.IwastryingtohideintheroomwhenIsawMr.Jackson!HewasopeningthedoorandcallingGrandma.“Ineedhelp!”heyelledtoher.“Justasecondforthefreshlyharvestedroses!”Thatwaswhenhesawme.Ifeltmyhearttightenandwasreadyforhiscriticism.Idescrvedit.Hehadprobablybeenwaitingforthismomentsincelastsummer.5

However,Mr.Jacksongreetedmehappily,“Great,Judeishere!Yourgrandmaalwaystellsusyouareawonderfullycompetent(有能力的)computerprogrammer.”Ishookmyhead.“Iamnotcompetent.IamsorryImessedthingsup.”Hewassurprisedandcomfortedme,“Itwasanaccident.Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.”6

Ilookedoutofthewindow.Therewerepilesofroseswaitingtobesold.“Jude,canyouhelpus?Wewanttosellrosesonline.Wehaveacomputerandalltheparts(零件)forourinternetconnection,butwejustcan'tsetitup,”Grandmaasked.Nointernet.Theyseemedtoliveinthe

twentiethcentury.三、情节构造

Plot续写第一段：MaybeIcouldbesomeonewhowasreallycompetent.续写第二段：Withinafewhours,ordersforrosesfloodedin.兴奋、开心认为是一个可以弥补的机会进行网络连接如释重负

得到弥补上架玫瑰（必写

否则无法与后文衔接）细节展开：拍摄、描述、标价开始有人浏览+Grandma/Jackson感谢铺垫主旨：不仅仅是连接网络，更是_______?续写第二段：Withinafewhours,ordersforrosesfloodedin.主旨：Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.Instead,itwasaboutfacingthemhead-on,havingtheabilitytolearnfromthem,fixingthemandbloomingintosomethingbeautiful,justliketheroseswe’renowselling.兴奋，为自己弥补错误而骄傲玫瑰花卖掉+Grandma/Jackson感谢单薄的情节需要加入亿点点细节！！！续写第二段：Withinafewhours,ordersforrosesfloodedin.主旨：Beingcompetentdoesn'tmeanyounevermakemistakes.Instead,itwasaboutfacingthemhead-on,havingtheabilitytolearnfromthem,fixingthemandbloomingintosomethingbeautiful,justliketheroseswe’renowselling.兴奋，为自己弥补错误而骄傲玫瑰花卖掉+Grandma/Jackson感谢细节展开：包装玫瑰花(捆/包/围住)结合Jackson的表情（眼、鼻、嘴、手臂、脚形容兴奋）主旨四、细节描写练习

VividDescriptions如何描写上架玫瑰的细节？（拆解动作+心理）1.拍照+上传照片2.描述商品3.标价加入亿点点细节（情绪/心理）：Icarefullyselectedthebestpicturesoftheroses,makingsureeachoneshowcasedtheirvibrantcolorsanddelicatepetals.Withafewclicks,Iuploadedthemontothewebsite,addingdescriptionsthatmadetheflowerscomealiveonscreen,asifyoucouldalmostsmelltheirsweetfragrance.如何描写包装玫瑰花的过程？（拆解动作+心理）pickedupapieceofpaper,foldeditaroundtheroses或：wrappedtheroseswithapaper如何描写包装玫瑰花的过程？（拆解动作+心理）看图说话：tiedtherosestogetherwitharibbon组合起来：Shepickedupapieceofpaper,foldeditaroundtherosesandtiedtherosestogetherwitharibbon.加入亿点点情绪/修饰：

Grandmabeamedasshepickedupapieceofdelicatewrappingpaper,gentlyfoldingitaroundtherosesandtiedthemtogetherwithgreatcare.五、范文

ModelEssay

MaybeIcouldbesomeonewhowasreallycompetent.“Sure!I’mgladtohelp,”Ireplied,feelingthatwasachancetofixmypastmistakes.(适时呼应主题)FollowingGrandma,Iwentintotheroom,whereacomputersatsurroundedbysomescatteredparts.Ihadspentsomuchtimeatcomputercamps,soitdidn’ttakelongbeforeIhaditallworkinginaflash（很快）.“Done!”Iannouncedconfidentlywithabrightsmilebroadeningfromsidetoside.Theweightoftheprevioussummer’smistakeseemedtobeoffmy

shoulderastheinternetwasupandrunning.（记下“如释重负”的表达）Nowitwastimetosetuptheironlinestoreandselltheroses.Iquicklyuploadedphotosofroses,addeddescriptions,andsetprices.(三连动)Beforelong,notificationsstartedpoppingup—peoplewerenoticing.“Youdidsuchagreatjob!”Mr.Jacksonexclaimedwithagrin,pat