大学四级作文评分标准及样文参考

“大学英语四级考试大纲”、作文评分原则及标准1.1考试大纲（节选）《大学英语教学大纲》规定：大学英语教学的目的，是培养学生具有较强的阅读能力和一定的听、说、读、写、译能力，使他们能用英语交流信息。《大纲》还明确地规定了基础教学阶段（即四级阶段）的写作能力要求：能在阅读难度与课文相仿的书面材料时做笔记、回答问题、写提纲，能就一定的话题或提纲在半小时内写出不少于120个单词的短文，能写短信和便条，表达意思清楚，无重大语言错误。《大学英语课程教学要求》（教育部高教司编写，外语教学与研究出版社2004年8月出版）对大学英语基础教学阶段的写作能力要求如下：Studentsshouldbeabletocompletewritingtasksforgeneralpurposes,e.g.,describingpersonalexperiences,impressions,feelings,orsomeevents,andtoundertakepracticalwriting.Theyshouldbeabletowritewithin30minutesashortcompositionof120wordsonageneraltopicoranoutline.Thecompositionshouldbebasicallycompleteincontent,appropriateindictionandcoherentindiscourse.Studentsareexpectedtobeabletohaveacommandofbasicwritingstrategies.大学英语四、六级考试大纲根据《大学英语教学大纲》制定，考试大纲中对于写作部分详实地做了如下规定：第一部分：短文写作（PartIWriting）共一题，考试时间为30分钟。要求考生写出一篇不少于120词的短文。试卷上可能给出题目，或规定情景，或要求看图作文，或根据段首句续写，或给出关键词要求写成短文，或要求考生根据情景提示写书信或便条，以及要求考生在读完一篇较长的文章之后写出摘要或概括大意等。因而，大学英语四级考试作文部分的常考题型主要有如下8种：1．（中英文）提纲（主题句）作文2．情景提示作文3．看图作文4．段首句作文5．应用文6．关键词作文7．命题作文8．缩写和摘要作文正如《大学英语课程教学要求》对大学英语基础教学阶段的写作能力要求规定的那样，我们要想写出优秀的段落或短文，不能只是简单地把几个句子或几个段落拼在一起就够了，而必须遵循写作的三大原则：即思想的统一性、内容的连贯性和结构的完整性。首先，大学英语四级短文写作要求切题，全文思想统一。思想统一性指段落内的所有句子或短文内的所有段落都必须围绕中心主题展开。要保持一个段落或短文的统一性，就必须去掉那些与主题无关的句子和段落。切题是四级考试写作的最基本的要求。其次，短文写作还要做到内容连贯。内容的连贯指句子与句子之间、段落与段落之间有着自然、恰当的衔接，使用一些过渡性的词语或句子，使短文条理清晰、脉络清楚。最后，结构的完整性，就是段落或短文必须有始有终，不能缺少任何一部分。大学英语四级写作考核内容为社会、文化、历史、科技等方面的一般常识和与人们日常生活密切相关的内容。在题材上，大学英语四级考试作文可为议论文、说明文、描写文、记叙文或应用文。有时，还可能将两种文体，特别是议论文和说明文，糅合在一起进行考察。因此，考生在写作之前，必须认真审题，仔细推敲，准确判断考题的文体要求。如果一开始就将文体判断错了，后果将可想而知。 1.2作文评分原则CET作文评卷工作中，实行模拟试改，淘汰不合要求的阅卷教师，并严格要求教师遵循如下评分原则：CET-4是检查考生是否达到《大学英语教学大纲》规定的四级教学要求的考试，因此对作文的评判应以此要求为准则。CET-4作文题采用总体评分方法(GlobalScoring)。阅卷人员就总的印象给出奖励分(RewardScores)，而不按语言点的错误数目扣分。从内容和语言对作文进行综合评判。内容和语言是个统一体。作文应表达作文题目所规定的内容，而内容通过语言来表达。要考虑作文是否切题，是否充分表达思想，还要考虑是否用英语清楚地表达思想，也就是要考虑语言上的错误是否造成理解上的障碍。避免趋中倾向。该给高分的给高分，包括满分；该给低分的给低分，包括0分。一位阅卷人员在所评判的全部试卷当中不应只给中间的几个分数。1.3评分标准本题满分为15分。阅卷标准通常分为五等：2分、5分、8分、11分和14分。阅卷人员根据阅卷标准，对照样卷评分，若认为与某一分数（如8分）相似，即定为该分数（即8分）；若认为稍优或稍劣于该分数，则可加一分（即9分）或减一分（即7分），但不得加减半分。评分标准：2分——条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误。5分——基本切题。表达思想不清楚，连贯性差。有较多的严重语言错误。8分——基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚，文字勉强连贯；语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。11分——切题。表达思想清楚，文字连贯，但有少量语言错误。14分——切题。表达思想清楚，文字通顺，连贯性较好。基本上无语言错误，仅有个别小错。注：白卷，作文与题目毫不相关，或只有几个孤立的词而无法表达思想，则给0分。字数不够120个，应酌情扣分，具体标准：累计字数在110～119之间，扣1分；累计字数在100～109之间，扣2分；累计字数在90～99之间，扣3分；累计字数在80～89之间，扣4分；表原因的：accordingly,thus,therefore;表总结的：inbrief,inshort,inconclusion等汉语讲求“起”，“承”，“转”，“合”，英语作文也有“atpresent”,“atthesametime”,“however”,“atlength”等与之对应的短语和句子。另外，多读，多背一些作文模板对写作有立竿见影的效果，限于篇幅，这里把开篇句、扩展句、结尾句各举三例：1．开篇句a.Whenitcomesto…somepeoplethinkthat…othersthinkthattheoppositeistrue.Thereisprobablysometrueinbothargumentsbut….b.Now,itiscommonlybelievedthat…Theyclaimthat…ButIwonderwhether…c.Withtheprompt/rapiddevelopment…,moreandmorepeoplebelievethat…2．扩展句a.Everythinghastwosidesand…isnotanexception;ithasbothadvantagesanddisadvantages.b.Theanswertothisprobleminvolvesmanycomplexfactors.Foronething…foranother,…stillanother…c.Myreasonmaybeexpressedasfollows:3．结尾句a.AsfarasIamconcerned,Iagreewiththelatteropiniontosomeextent.Ithinkthat…b.Fromwhathasbeendiscussedabove,wemaysafelyarriveattheconclusionthat…c.Inconclusion,Iwouldliketosaythat…isaquestionthatdeservesspecialattentionfromthepublic.总之，四级作文要注意平时的积累，多看模板，多背名句，多写。同时，避免写一些中文式的句子，多写简单句，少写复杂句，如果碰到自己不会写的东西，可以换一种方式表达，写作前可先写个提纲，写作过程中一般不打草稿，特别注重第一段的写作，因为这是你给评阅老师第一印象的时候，也是他给你定档次的时候。写作最好有主题句，多检查谓语是否准确，对写出的句子要问一句：“这是地道的英语吗？”等。所以，经过较系统的训练，四级作文也就不攻自破了。1.4.32003/1作文试题Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteacompositiononthetopicItPaystoBeHonest.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsaccordingtotheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese.当前社会上存在许多不诚实的现象。诚实利人利己，做人应该诚实。实例1:14分ItPaystoBeHonestNowadaystherearemanydishonestphenomenainoursociety.Toillustrate,somepeoplefabricatefalsediplomaforthepurposeoffindingagoodjob;somebusinessmansellfakecommoditiestotheircustomersinpursuitofcommercialinterest;somestudentscheatintheexaminordertogetahighmark.Asamatteroffact,thedishonestpeopleonlyfocusontheshort-terminterests.Oncetheirfalsitieswereexposed,theywillloseothers’trust,losetheirfortune,evenbesenttoprison.Incontrast,honestpeoplegainalot.Thosewhoalwaystelltruthorkeeptheirpromisenotonlymakeotherstrustthem,butalsogainrespectfromthemaswell.It’snodoubtsuchpeoplecanholdalotoffriendsbecausetheyarereliableandvenerable.Moreover,it’sfacileforanhonestpeopletofindagoodjobsinceeveryemployerlongforhonestemployees.Thosehonestbehaviorswillberenderedbackatlast.Therefore,weshouldadvocatethespiritofbeinghonestforitcanhelpustowintrust,respectandadmirationfromothers.Inotherwords,itpaystobehonest.评语：这篇文章紧紧围绕主题行文，不仅切合题意，语言表达上也十分通顺，连贯性较好。基本上无语言错误，仅有个别小错，除了“sinceeveryemployerlongforhonestemployees”这句中的long应该为longs之外，其余的地方几乎没有错误。因此可以归入第一档14分。实例2：11分ItPaystoBeHonestInmodernsocietythereexistalotofdishonestphenomenons.Forexample,inordertocatchthecustomer’sattention,manyadvertisementsmakeupexaggeratedpropaganda;inordertoearnmoremoney,somepeoplesellfalsemedicine,sometimesdamagedthecustomer’shealthseriously,andevendeprivedtheirlives.Althoughithelpsthemgaintheshortprofits,it’lldestroythereputationofthecompanyinthelongsight.Inmyopinion,honestisbeneficialtous.Foronething,wecangainothers’respectandtrust,sothatwecanhavemorechancestomakefriends.Foranother,itcanmakeoursocietymorebeautifulandeverypersonfriendlytoeachother.Inaword,Ithinkeveryoneshouldstarttobehonestandeveryoneshouldhavetheideathatoursocietycannotdowithouthonesty.评语：这篇文章内容切题，文字连贯，表达思想也比较清楚，但第二段在描述诚实利人利己时，可以写得更详实一些，也可补充些简单的例子，这样就会使文章的内容显得更加地充实。此外，文中还存在着少量的用词错误，如：第一句“Inmodernsocietythereexistalotofdishonestphenomenons”当中的phenomenons属于比较明显的错误，这个词的复数形式应该是“phenomena”。第一段当中的“evendeprivedtheirlives”,deprive后面应该加上介词of。还有第一段的最后一句“Althoughithelpsthemgaintheshortprofits,it’lldestroythereputationofthecompanyinthelongsight”中的“theshortprofits”应该是“theshort-termprofits”，还有后面的“inthelongsight”应该是“inthelongterm”。因此，这篇文章比上一篇略逊一筹，定为11分。实例3：8分ItPaystoBeHonestHonestyisoneoftheChineseconventionalmorals.Butatpresent,therearemoreandmoredishonestthingsinthesociety.Forexample,salesmencheatpeople,advertisementcheatpeople;evenyourclosefriendscheatyou.Whenyouareatschool,youwillfindmanystudentscopyothers’papersinthefinalexam.Thesearethebadthingsinoursociety.Ifyouarenothonesttootherpeople,theywillgiveyouback.Inotherwords,tobehonestnotonlybenefitforyoubutalsogoodforothers.Foracompany,honestyandcreditshouldbetheprimarything,dishonestwillmakeitlosehiscustomer;itishorribletothinkthatifeveryonetellsliestoothers.Sowhateverwedo,wewillnotbelieveothers.Thenourlifewillbeunhappy!Takingallthethingstoconsideration,wecancometotheresultthathonestisbeneficialforourselvesandothers.Weshouldhonestwheneverweare,thosewhoarenotdishonestwillbepunishedinsomeday.评语：这篇文章的内容基本切题，文字上还比较连贯，但有些地方表达思想不够清楚，语法错误也较多，其中有一些严重的语言错误。存在的主要问题如下：词语使用不当：如第一句中的morals这个词使用不当，应该改为virtues；第一段第二句以及第二段第一句中的dishonestthings最好改为dishonestphenomena；第二段后面的“tobehonestnotonlybenefitforyoubutalsogoodforothers”benefit后的for该去掉；最后一段当中的“wecancometotheresultthathonestisbeneficialforourselvesandothers”和beneficial搭配的介词应该为to。主谓一致出现错误，如第一段中的“advertisementcheatpeople”,advertisement应改为复数；“tobehonestnotonlybenefitforyoubutalsogoodforothers”中的benefit和good都应该改成第三人称单数。第二段中的honestyandcreditshouldbetheprimarything中的thing应改为复数；“dishonestwillmakeitlosehiscustomer”中的customer应改为复数。第二段中的“Ifyouarenothonesttootherpeople,theywillgiveyouback”词组giveback使用不正确，应该改为“theywillgiveitbacktoyou”。最后一段当中的首句“Takingallthethingstoconsideration”，应改为“Takingallthethingsintoconsideration”。最后一句“Weshouldhonestwheneverweare”应改为“Weshouldbehonestwhateverwedo”。

基于以上存在的问题，这篇文章只能评8分。实例4：5分ItPaystoBeHonestHonestisagoodmoralinchina.Nowadays,oursocietyisfullofunhonestthings.Thehonestwaslittletimethinkofbypeople.Sincepersondependentondeceiveisuptohimself’saim.However,somepeoplewasthinkthatitisallright,allofthisaimattomakealotofmoney.But,wewerecollegestudents,wemusthaveangoodmoral.Weshouldbehonest.Astimepast,honestismoreimportantinourlife.Forexample,youwillbuysomethingfalse,otherswhosellittoyouarenotbehonest.Youborrowsomethingtosomebody,buthedenyit.But,asafact,ifeveryoneisnothonest,ourlifewillnotnormal,andourcountrywillnotnormaltoo.Honestishelpfultoyourselfandothers.Soweshouldbehonestforbeingahuman.Maybeitismoreharmoniousinoursociety.评语：这篇文章表达思想不清楚，很多句子意思不明，不知道作者想要表达的具体思想，特别是第一段当中有多处严重语言错误，如“Thehonestwaslittletimethinkofbypeople.Sincepersondependentondeceiveisuptohimself’saim.However,somepeoplewasthinkthatitisallright,allofthisaimattomakealotofmoney.”这几句，没有一句是完全正确的句子。后面两段当中虽然错误较多，但还可以勉强猜出作者想要表达的意图。此外，还有许多用词不当的地方，如最后一段中的normal这个词，以及一些其他的语法错误，这里就不一一列举了。综上所述，这篇文章只能定为5分档。实例5：2分ItPaystoBeHonestHonestisagoodmoral,butinthemoedenworld,mostofpeoplearenothonest.Nowintheschool,thisphenomenonissoserious.Manystudentshavechestintheexamjustwantpasstotheexambuttheydon’tthinkitisverybadforhim.Nowintheworld,honestisveryimprotent,becausepeopleandpeople’scommitmentaremoreandmore,ifthedeceivedismostintheperson,theworldwillfullofblack.Youshouldthinkthelifeisverybadandnothappyinlive.Butwhenyoudohelptheotherpeople,thepeopleishelpyou.Youarehappyeveryday.评语：这篇文章条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误。字数也没有达到基本要求的120个词，因此归为最后一档。2003/6四级作文Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteAnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccident.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsaccordingtotheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese:假设你在某日某时目击一场车祸，就此写一份见证书。见证书包括以下几点：1．车祸发生的时间及地点2．你所见到的车祸情况3．你对车祸原因的分析实例1：14分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentItwasthemorningofApril6th,2003.Atabout7:30,Iwenttoschoolbybikeasusual.Itwasarainydayandtheroadwasslippery.Ontheway,Inoticedaboyridinginfrontofme,talkingloudlywithhisfriends.Hedidn’tweararaincoat;insteadheheldanumbrellainonehand,therodewithanotherhand.AsheturnedlefttoGuangmingRoad,hefailedtoseeacarcomingfrombehindatruckparkedonthecorner.SuddenlyIheardabignoiseandsawanumbrellathrownaway.Theboywasknockeddownbythecar.Iwascompletelyshocked.Ithinktheboy’sabsent-mindednessaccountedmuchfortheaccident.Hewastalkingallthetimeanddangerouslyusedanumbrellawhileridingabike.Theweatheralsoplayedaroleinthetragedy.Thethirdcausewastheunproperlyparkedtruck,whichwasbigenoughtomaketheroadconditionsinvisibletothestudentswhoweregoingtomakeaturn.Allthesecontributedtotheaccident.评语：该作文内容切题。思想表达清楚，连贯性较好：首段指出交通事故发生的时间，接着回顾了该次交通事故的前前后后。作者在第二段分析这次车祸的可能原因。整篇作文用词准确，文字通顺，句式变化多样，过渡自然；文中基本没有语言错误。实例2：11分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentItwaslastFridaymorning.TheaccidenthappenedwhenIwasonmywaytoschool.ItwassoterriblethatIwouldneverforgetit.Iwaswalkingalongtheroad,andtherearenotsomanycarsontheroad.Then,withabigsound,theaccidenthappened.Theredcarstopedsuddenlyontheroadsothatthedriveroffollowingcarcouldn’trespondimmeditely.Thebackoftheredcarwasbadlydamaged,butfortunatelytherewasnopeopleinjuredinthisaccident.Ithinkthemainreasonsareasfollows:Firstofall,theredcarshouldn’tstopsuddenlywithoutanysignals.Secondly,thefollowingcarshouldkeepacertaindistancefromthefrontcarsothatthedrivercouldhaveenoughtimetotakemeasurswhenanybadlysituation.Finally,thesetwodriverswerecareless.Iftheyhadpaidmoreattentiontodriving,thisaccdentwouldn’thavehappened.评语：内容切题，条理较清楚，文字连贯，但有少量语言错误。第一段介绍，引入正题。第二段着重描述交通事故。第三段简要评述了这场车祸，并有Firstofall,Secondly,Finally等过渡词。实例3：8分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentThetrafficaccidentwastakenplaceatthejunctionoftwohighwayswhenIwasdrivingmycarhomeatabout4o’clock..Theyellowcarinvolvedintheaccidentwasrunningatahighspeedalongtheright-handwhenithappened.Hardlyitreachedthejunctionwhenitcrackedwithatruckrunningfromanotherdirection.Therewasnotimeforthedriverstochangethedirections.Ithinktheaccidentmostlyattributedtosuchreasons:Firstlyandtheforemost,itwasthecarelessnessofbothofthedriversthatmostlymadetheaccidentshappen.Itwasnottoocarefulforthemwhenrunningacar.Secondly,theweatheralsoshouldberesponsibleforit.Thefogmadethevisionofdriversvague.Lastbutnottheleast,theconstructureoftheroadswasunreasonable.Thetraficlightsareneededatanyjunctions.评语：内容基本切题。有些地方思想表达得不够清楚，文字勉强连贯；语言错误相当多，其中有一些为严重错误，如开首句表示“事故发生”不能用被动态，而应用主动态“tookplace”；第二段第二句Hardly放在句首，主句应用倒装句等。实例4：5分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentItwas8:00thismorning,Iwentonmywaytoschool.WhenIjustattheschoolgate,Isawtheterribletrafficaccidenthappened.Astudentridehisbikeinahighspeed,andjustwhenhearrivedtheschoolgate,alargetrucktraveledoutofthegateandhithimdown.Hefliedover3mbeforehisbikehithimontheground,surely,thepoorboywashurtverybad.Ithinktherearetworeasonsfortheaccident.First,itwasjustthetimewebeganourfirstclass,thebikeriderperhapsdidnotwanttobelate,heridehisbikesofast,evendidn’tlowdownhisspeedatthegate.Second,thetruckistoolarge,andatthattime,thereweretoomanypeoplewalkthroughthegate,sothebikedriverhavenootherwaytochose,buttorideinthemiddleoftheroad.评语：内容基本切题。表达思想不清楚，连贯性差。有较多的语言错误，如句子的混杂、用词不准确（如hurtverybad）、表达不得体等等。实例5：2分AnEye-WitnessAccountofaTrafficAccidentIsawtheTrafficAccidentinTianjinRoad.TheTrafficAccidenthasbeenatthemorning,May1.Twochildrenbybikewenttoschool.Acarissofast,thestreel.Andthecartouchedtwochildrenbybike,andtheTrafficAccidenthashappened.Oneistouchedsofarwayandtheotherisputdown.Marypeoplecomehere,andtheysenttotwochidtenwhogotoHospiton.Waitatime,TheploiemenarriverdintheAccidentplace.Myopiontoin:Thecardriverissofastbycar,andHedidn’tattendationtothechildrenbybikeasidetheroad.Twochildrenbybikedidn’thearedthecarcome.Allofabove,IthinkthecardrivermustbeseriertheTrafficAccident.评语：条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎，中文思维明显，大部分句子都有错误，且多数为严重错误，如chidten，attendation等。2005/1作文试题Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteacampaignspeechinsupportofyourelectiontothepostofchairmanofthestudentunion.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsfollowingtheoutlinegivenbelowinChinese:1.你认为自己具备了什么条件(能力、性格、爱好等)可以胜任学生会主席的工作？2.如果当选你将为本校同学做些什么?实例1:14分ACampaignSpeechGoodafternoon,everyone:MynameisZhangXu,asophomoreofSchoolofElectricalandElectronicEngineering.I’mverygladtomeetallofyouhere.IneedyoursupportfortheelectionaschairmanoftheStudentUnion.IdohopethatIbelieveI’mcompetentforthepost.Tobeginwith,Iholdtheabilityoforganizationandmanagement.Ihavebeenastudentleadersincemyprimaryschoolyears.NowasclassmonitorandchairmanoftheStudentScienceAssociation,I’mproficientinorganizingmultifariousactivities,bothinsideandoutsideschool.Inaddition,Iamenduedwithaccommodatingcharacterandreceptivetoothersproposalsandopinions.Thesecharactersofminehavebenefitedmealotinthepastyears.IfIamelectedchairmanofthestudentunion,Ivowtoserveallthestudentswithheartandsoul.Mydearstudents,Iwilldomyutmosttoworkforthewelfareforyouandcreatealivelyatmosphereonthecampus.Thankyouverymuch!评语：这篇文章放在第一档。不难看出这篇范文的成功之处：格式正确，内容切题，表达流畅，有说服力，用词正确得当，基本上没有语言错误。作为一篇演讲稿，作者抓住了其特点，首先，在第一段当中就简要地介绍了自己的基本情况及演讲的目的和希望。在第二段当中则条理分明地逐条列举了自己竞选学生会主席这一职位所具有的条件，能力，以及自己的性格特点等，最后则对自己今后如若当选所要做的工作做出了承诺。全文178个词，重点突出，主题明确，语言礼貌得体，表达清楚明了，条理清晰，遣词造句准确，因此可得14分。实例2：11分ACampaignSpeechMydearstudents,MynameisChenChan,I’mverygladtostandhereandhavethechancetorunforthepostofthechairmanoftheStudentUnion.IbelieveIhavethefacultytobechairmanoftheStudentUnion.Firstofall,Iwasacadresincethejuniormiddleschool.AfterIenteredtheuniversity,IhavebeenthesecretaryoftheYouthLeagueforabouttwoyears,andIwasalsoawardedastheExcellentStudentCadrebyourschool.SoI’mgoodatorganizationallkindsofactivities.Besides,I’mwarm-heartedandreadytohelpandserveallthestudents.What’smore,doingsportsismyfavoriteandIlikeparticipatingallsortsofsportsgames.IfIcanbesucceedinthecampaignelection,Iwilltrymybesttoworkhardinthispostandorganizevariousactivitiesforallthestudentssoastomakeourcampuslifefullandcolorful.评语：这篇文章内容切题，格式正确，表达思想清楚，文字连贯，第一段当中简要地阐明了演讲的目的，第二段一开始就介绍了自己的能力和胜任的原因，条理清晰，恰当地运用了一些过渡词，即firstofall,besides,what’smore等，使文章显得连贯自然。虽然如此，但文章中存在着少量的语言错误，如：在第二段的最后一句当中，“Ilikeparticipatingallsortsofsportsgames”应变成“Ilikeparticipatinginallsortsofsportsgames”。最后一段当中的“IfIcanbesucceedinthecampaignelection”中的succeed使用错误，应该改为“IfIcansucceedinthecampaignelection”。语言错误虽不多，但影响了读者对整篇文章的印象，因此得分低一个档次。实例3：8分ACampaignSpeechGoodafternoon,everyone.MynameisBiQing.NowIwanttoelectthechairmanoftheStudentUnion.Idohopeyoucansupportmyelectiontothepost.Firstofall,IthinkIhavetalencetotakethepost.Iamcapableoforganization.Iliketoworkforallstudentsandorganizeactivitiesforyou.Second,Ihavegoodcharacteristicsandactiveindoingallkindsofpublicaffairs.I’malsokeenofdoingsportsandtakepartindifferentsportgames.Ifyouchoicemetobethestudentunionchairman,Iwilldomybesttohelpallthestudents.Iwillimproveourlivingconditionsandlearningatmosphereandmakeourlifemorecomfortableandconvenience.评语：这篇文章被放在第三档，我们可以看到文章基本可以抓住题意，围绕提纲要求来写，但格式上没有体现演讲稿的特点，还有些地方表达思想不够清楚。虽然文字勉强连贯，但语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。所以得分比上一篇文章低了一个档次，定为8分。主要的问题表现在以下几处：“NowIwanttoelectthechairmanoftheStudentUnion.”中的elect这个词用法不对，应改为“NowIwanttobeelectedasthechairmanoftheStudentUnion”。第二段首句当中的“IthinkIhavetalencetotakethepost.Iamcapableoforganization”，talence这个词不光拼写错了，而且这个地方不太适合使用这个词，可修改为“IthinkI’mcompetentforthispost.”会更好。“Ihavegoodcharacteristicsandactiveindoingallkindsofpublicaffairs”这句话搭配不当，“havegoodcharacteristics”为动宾结构，而active为形容词，不能放在这个并列结构中，可以改为“Ihavegoodcharacteristicsandholdgreatenthusiasmforthepublicaffairs”。紧随其后的这句话“I’malsokeenofdoingsportsandtakepartindifferentsportgames”当中keen这个词的搭配不对，应该是“keenon”，再还有and前后的并列结构中，形式不一致，应改为“doingsportsandtakingpartindifferentsportgames”。“Ifyouchoicemetobethestudentunionchairman”中choice是一个名词，不能做谓语，并且后面“thestudentunionchairman”的修饰定语表达不当，可以修改为“Ifyouchoosemeasthechairmanofthestudentunion”。最后一句当中的“makeourlifemorecomfortableandconvenience”，很明显comfortable是个形容词，而convenience却是个名词，不能组成并列结构，可改为“makeourlifemorecomfortableandconvenient”。实例4：5分ACampaignSpeechIbelieveinme,IhaveconfidenceandabilitiestodowellintheworkoftheStudentUnion.Pleaseapproveofme.I’masophomoreandinterestingintheworkwithstudent.MyclassmateknowsofmewellandthinkofthatIhavenewviewforever—don’tlikeotherswhodon’thavetheircharactors.Inmyopinion,usingyourleadingabilitiesunlimitedisthebestwaytoleadtheStudentUnion.It’simportanttokeepgoodrelationshipwithothersallaroundyou.IfI’mtheChairmanoftheStudentUnion,Imustputmyfirsttimeinitandfinishallwork.AndIwillconnectwithteachersandstudentsverywell.Formyjob,Iwillmakeagoodplan,andcarryoutit.评语：这篇文章写得不是很切合题意，特别是后面在阐述自己的能力以及性格爱好时，有些地方跟竞选学生会主席这个主题关系不大。再者，全文连贯性差，尤其是语言表达上不清楚，有些句子不知所云，并伴有较多的严重语言错误。如：“MyclassmateknowsofmewellandthinkofthatIhavenewviewforever—don’tlikeotherswhodon’thavetheircharactors.”这句话写得真不知道是什么意思，该怎么去理解，并且knowofmewell,thinkofthat等，都属于严重的语法错误；还有后面那句“usingyourleadingabilitiesunlimitedisthebestwaytoleadtheStudentUnion”也让人匪夷所思。因此，只能得到5分。实例5：2分ACampaignSpeechChairmanoftheStudentUnionisveryimportantintheStudentUnion.Itmusthaveabilitytoworkoutthejob,haveagoodmoralandwilldoanythingforstudent.Icompletewithfocusonthethinking,tryasmuchasmecancomeupwiththesolutionfaculty;Iamwillingtospenttimetodothestudentunionwork.Thereareveryinterestinginforthestudent.IfIelectiontothepostofchairmanofthestudentunion.Iwilltodoalotofthing.Thefirstofone,Iwillthenumberofpeoplepresentiseveryone,leteveryonehaveathelikelyfuturesituationforthestudentunion.Then,inmeetinghavestrongdisagreementaboutthediscusssomething,Iwilltoacceptthedisagreement,letmoststudenttoagreement.评语：这篇习作条理不清，思路紊乱，语言支离破碎或大部分句子均有错误，且多数为严重错误。文中很少能看到一个完整正确的句子，可以说是句不成句，文不成文，只能给2分。2005/6作文试题Directions:Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteashortessayinhonorofteachersontheoccasionofTeacher’sDay.Youshouldwriteatleast120wordsfollowingtheoutlinegivenbelow:1.向老师致以节日祝贺2.从一件难忘的事来回忆老师的教诲和无私的奉献3.我如何回报老师的关爱实例1:14分Teacher’sDayTeachingisthemostsacredandgloriouscareer.September10thisdesignatedasTeacher’sDayinourcountry.Onthisspecialday,I’dliketoexpressmydevoutappreciationtoourlovelyteachers.Thankyouforyourselflessdedicationandindefatigableinstruction.

“Theteacheristhesoulengineerofhumankind.”IstillrememberhowmyteachersencouragedandhelpedmewhenIfellupondarkdays.OnceIfailedinthefinalexam.Atthattime,IfeltsodepressedthatIdespairedofmyfuture.Atthiscriticalmoment,myEnglishteacherhadaheart-to-hearttalkwithme.Shetriedtocheermeupandhelpedmetoanalyzethereasonsformyfailure.Thensheexplainedthepaperwordbywordforme.HerpatienceandaffabilityarousemyardorinlearningEnglish.Myheadteacheralsotoldmenottobeobsessedwiththetestresultsandmademerealizethat“lifeisalwaysfullofrosesandthorns”and“failureisthemotherofsuccess.”WhenIwasfeelinglost,itistheteacherswhogavemecourageandconfidence.

AlthoughIdon’tknowwhetherIhavethechancetopaybackallthatIhavereceivedfrommyteachers,Iwillneverfailtoliveuptotheirexpectationsanddomyutmosttobeausefulperson.评语：这篇文章内容切题，表达思想清楚，文字通顺，连贯性也好，遣词用句正确，基本上无语法错误。第一段向老师致以节日的祝贺，用语简练。第二段则从老师这一职业的高尚性自然地过渡到老师对学生的悉心关怀和对自己工作岗位的无私的奉献，作者用一个详实的例子有力地证明了这一事实，表达意思清楚，语言自然连贯，用词精当。最后一段则表达自己想如何报答老师的决心，简明扼要。全文紧扣题意，围绕提纲要求行文，文笔流畅，基本上没有语法错误，因此可以归入第一档。实例2：11分Teacher’sDayThe20thTeacher’sDayisapproaching.ItisaexcitingmomentwhenIcandelivermytrueheartedcongratulationstoourarduousteachersatvariousteachingpost.

Inretrospect,therewassomethingIcanneverforget.Twoyearsago,beforeCollegeEntranceExamination,IwasundersoheavypressurethatIfelthardtofallintoasleepeverynight.Ifeltverynervousandcouldn’tconcentrateonmystudy.Atthattime,myteachercametome,shesaidsheknewwhatIwasafraidof,andshealsotoldmethisanxietyisverycommonamongthestudents.Thenshehelpedmeeasemyanxietyjustlikeapsychologistandtoldmehowtoadjustmybiologicalclocksoastokeepmyselfinagoodcondition.SheeventoldmetocallheranytimeIneedherhelp.Herwordstouchedmealot,IbegantofacetheexaminationbravelyandfortunatelyIpassedtheexaminationandattendtheuniversity.NowIhavebeenacollegestudent,Ican’thelpthinkingaboutmyteachersandherwords.IwillstudyhardandnevergiveupwhenImeetwithanydifficulty.OnlyinthiswayIcanrepaymydearteacher.评语：这篇文章内容切题，围绕题目的三个提纲来组织全文，条理清楚，内容充实。行文上比较通顺，连贯，表达思想也比较清晰，但有个别地方表达方式不够地道，明显受到中文表达方式的影响，比如“IwasundersoheavypressurethatIfeelhardtofallintoasleepeverynight.”这句应改为“IhadtobearsogreatpressurethatIcouldhardlyfallintoasleepeverynight”。此外，还有少数地方存在着语言错误，如：“ItisaexcitingmomentwhenIcandelivermy….”中，冠词使用错误，应改为“ItisanexcitingmomentwhenIcandelivermy….”。“Thenshehelpedmeeasemyanxietyjustlikeapsychologistandtoldmehowtoadjustmybiologicalclocksoastokeepmyselfinagoodcondition.”中，“keepmyselfinagoodcondition”属错用词组，可改为“keepmyselfingoodcondition”。“SheeventoldmetocallheranytimeIneedherhelp.”中，“anytime”是个副词，后面不宜再结句子，可改为“SheeventoldmetocallherwheneverIneedherhelp.”虽然这些错误都没有造成我们对文章所要表达意思的误解，但是却使人觉得其语言功底还欠火候，因此归入第二档。实例3：8分Teacher’sDayTodayistheteacher’sday.Iwillgivemybestwishestoalltheteachers.Notonlytheyimpartknowledgetome,butalsoshapetheworldforme.Icanrememberitwasthreeyearsago,Iwasselctedbyourschoolheadmastertoattendthematholimpiccompetitioninbehalfofourschool.ButIdidn’thaveself-confidencetowin;especiallyI’mtheonlygirlamongthecompetiters.Myheadteacherencouragedme:“Youarethebestinmyeyes;Ihaveenoughconfidenceinyou.Aslongasyoumakeefforts,it’senough,theresultofthecompetitionisnotsoimportant.”What’smore,hehelpedmewithmystudy.Heenlightenstheroadtoscienceforme,andIbegantomoreinterestedinscience.Inshort,hemademestudyinpleasureandmakesomeprogressinmystudy.NowIaminuniversity,I’llrememberwhatmyteacherhastoldmeforever.Imustworkhardforourcountryandinterestsofallthepeople.评语：这篇文章的内容基本切题，但连贯性不太好，特别是一、二段之间没有恰当的使用一些过渡词，也没有注意意义上的衔接，因此显得比较突兀。此外，有些地方表达思想不够清楚，有些是因为拼写错误造成的，如“selcted”“olimpic”“competiters”，应改为“selected”“olympic”“competitors”,这些错误充斥在文章中，使阅读者在理解时还要通过猜测才能了解作者的意图，有些是因为语言错误造成的，其中还有一些是严重的语法错误，如：“Notonlytheyimpartsknowledgetome,butalsoshapetheworldforme.”应该采用倒装，可改为“Notonlydosetheyimpartknowledgetome,butalsoshapetheworldforme”。“ButIdidn’thaveself-confidencetowin….”可改为“Ihadnoconfidenceinmyselftow