《老爸老妈的浪漫史 第七季 第16-20集》英中字幕

===《老爸老妈的浪漫史第七季第16-20集》英中字幕=========目录第16集 2第17集 16第18集 31第19集 45第20集 61第20集 75

第16集Sorrythisistakingsolong. Hekickedforeverybodyelse. It'shardforthelittleguy toperformunderpressure. ToptenthingsMarshall saidonhisweddingnight. Whoa!Itwassmall,but IthinkIfeltsomething. ToptenthingsLilysaid onherweddingnight. Stoplaughingatit,Lily. ToptenthingsMarshall saidonhisweddingnight! Canwepleasetalkaboutsomething otherthanmyweddingnight? Absolutely.Let'stalkaboutlastnight. Itwasanightlikeanyother. Iwasjustabouttogetlaid... Hey,Barney,Ineedyourhelp. ThishottieI'mtalkingtois meetingherfriendataclub, soIneedawingman. Well,justsoyouknow,I'dbe givingupasurethinghere. -Areyounotasurething? -Yeah,Iam. This"friend"ofyoursbetterbe evenhotteranddumberthanthisone. Wow!YouhaveEnormousPenis Syndrome?I'veneverheardofthat. Yeah.That'stheproblem withE.P.S.lackofawareness. That'swhyI'm organizinga10Kfun-run. Ofcourse,manyofus willneedwheelbarrows. Youaresobrave. Andyouaresounderstanding. Mostpeoplejuststareatme likeI'msomekindoffreak inreinforcedunderwear. Poor,baby. Ican'timaginewhatyou'regoing throughbecauseIneverwearunderwear. -Jackpot! -Youwanttogetoutofhere? Oh,Idon'tknow.Thisisall movingkindoffast.Okay. Oh,butbeforewego,I shouldmentionmycondition. It'scalled:I'mNota GullibleDumbassDisorder. AstheformerSurgeon General,I'vegottosay, Idon'tthinkthat'stherealthing. Okay,juststop.You havenochancewithme. We'rejusthereas backupsforourfriends. -Hey,howdidyoutwomeet,anyway? -No,we'renotdoingthatfirstdatedance whereyoupretendeverything Isayisfascinating, thinkingit'llsomehow getyouintomypants. What?Guysdon'tdothat! Goatcheese?Fascinating!What elseareyouallergicto,huh? Youowemethreehours forlastnight,Mosby. I'mthinking,lasertag tournamentinNewarkthisweekend. Tedcanpassforunder18,right? It'safather-sonthing. Marshall,weshouldgetgoing.Any later,andwe'llberidingtheDrunkTrain. Oh.TheDrunkTrain? It'sthelasttrainofthenight backtoLongIsland.It'samess. Justabunchofdrunk,sloppyidiots, freshoffanightof partyinginthecity, justdesperatetohookup withanythingthatmoves. -Yeah. -Bye. Seeyou. Newplan,Ted. Sothisfather-sonthing. Youknow,abackwardsbaseball capreallyyoungsmedown. Allaboard! ForValentine'sweekend, LilyandMarshallinvitedKevinand Robinonacouple'sgetawaytoVermont. 16yearstogether,andstill soinlove.What'syoursecret? Thekeytorelationships isunderstandingthedifference betweenhearingandlistening. -It'saboutrespectingyourpartner's... -Opinionson... Kindofonarollhere. Relationshipsareagiveandtake, andthat'swhyit's importanttoneverkeepscore. Yeah,likehowBarney'sholding thesethreehoursoverTed'shead. Iftheywereacouple,they'dneverwork. Obviously.Ted'saTaurus,and BarneyissuchaScorpio. Goodadvice.Don'tkeepscore. They'renotevenclosetofinished. Howdowenotkeepscore,youask? Soundslikesomebodywantto hearsomeexamples,sweetie. I'mjustgonnaclosemy eyesuntilit'sallover. ToptenthingsLilysaid onherweddingnight. Solid. Here'sone. EverytimeMarshall's momcomestovisitus, wehavetoputoutall thetackyMinnesotagifts she'sboughtusovertheyears. -Hi,Mom! -Hi,Mrs.Eriksen! Marshall. Idon'tseethegopher-hair teacozyImadeyou. Guessitwasn'tgoodenoughforLily. ButI'dneverholdthatoverMarshall, becauseifIdid,he'dowemebig-time. JustlikeIwouldneverholditoveryou fordraggingmetothat experimentaltheaterpiece. Isit...isitjustscreaming? just Butwedon'tkeepscore. Gotcha,loudandclear.Don'tkeepscore. Becauseifwedid,thenMarshallwould owemeforkillingmycousin'sdog. HowdidIknowthat hewouldeatmywallet? Whywasyourwallet filledwithchocolate?! Sowe'rebacktothisargument! Thatnight,BarneyandIfoundourselves inastrange,newuniversecalled... TheDrunkTrain. Wherehasthisheavenly vehiclebeenallmylife? Canyouhearitsinspiringchant,Ted? IthinkIcangetlaid,I thinkIcangetlaid. It's-it'sTheLittleEngine withWood,TheWhore-ientExpress. TheLongIslandTailRoad! Oh,Igotone.ThomastheSpankEngine! Ted,thatisachildren'sbook. Okay,asfunasthisplace is,it'slate.So,what'sourplay? Anddon'tsay,"TheSiameseTwins""We're notstretchingoutanotheroneofmyjackets. No,dude,thisistheDrunk Train.Wedon'tneedaplay! Allwehavetodoissitback,play itcool,scopeoutthehotties, andbytheendoftheline,wewill totallybesleepingwithsomeone. three Youknow,youaresogreat. Yousattherelisteningto MarshallandLilybickerallnight, andyoudidn'tcomplainonce. Well,Iamatherapist,so Idoplanonbillingthem. Ialsohaveacouplepowerful medicationsthatmighthelp. -Lilycan'ttakeanything;she'spregnant. -Imeantforus. Ifwe'regettingthroughfivemore mealsandasleighridewiththoseguys, weneedtobespacedoutofourgourds. Well,ifwearekeepingscore,I oweyouoneweekend,mister. Iwasthinkinga littlelongerthanthat. Whatdoyoumean? Robin,willyoumarryme? Look,Iknowthisisfast.I'mjust excitedtostartalifewithyou. Ifthat'swhatyouwant. I'm-I'mnotsayingno. I'm-I'mnotsayinganything. Ijust,um...I-Ineed sometimetothink. Itotallyunderstand.Um,take asmuchtimeasyouneed. I'lljust,uh...I'lljustkeep thishereuntilyou'reready. -Anychancewecouldputthatbadboyawayfornow? -It'sreallyjuststaringatus,isn'tit? Ted!Ted!Ted! Ithoughtofsomenewgreat namesfortheDrunkTrain. Slamtrak! TheChatta-Nookie Choo-Choo! ThomastheSpankEngine! -Isaidthatoneyesterday. -Idon'tthinkyoudid. Wow.Someone'shadsomecoffee. Yeah.18cups! ThereisnowayI'm fallingasleeptonight! ThatQuinngirlissowrong. ShesaidIcouldneverlove anything,butIlovethistrain! Shesaidyoucouldnever loveanything?That'sintense. Oh,youhavenoidea. Stopstaring.Notgonnahappen. Isthereanywaywecanstart overandgettoknoweachother? Ialreadyknowyou. Oh,really? -Youwearasuitallthetime. -Obviously. Youhaveastupidruleabouteverything. Ipayforthemeal,youhandlemy deal.That'sjustgoodmanners. Butyouendmostnightsaloneat astripclub,feelingemptyinside, tellingyourselfyourlifeissomehow epicorclassicor...legendary. Ineversayepicorclassic. Doyoupracticethedarkarts? No,theydidnotforgetthepotato saladinyourtakeoutorder! Wh-Whathappenednext?! Forthelasttime,I'msorry. It'sokay.Yourdebtispaid. Youdon'thavetocomeon theDrunkTrainanymore. You'renevergonnameet theonethere,anyway. -Oh,screwtheone! -What? EverydateI'vebeenon latelyhasbeenbrutal. Lastweek,Iwentoutwithagirl whosefavoritebandwasGlee. Plus,it'salmostValentine'sDay, andI'malonewithout anythingclosetoagirlfriend. So...allaboard! Ihaveneverbeenmore proudofyou.Comeon. Ted,tonightisgonnabe epic--waitforit--dary! Wait.No,that'snotit. HowdoIusuallysayit? IhatethisQuinngirl! -Well,Iproposeweorderabottleofwine. -Propose! Notpropose.Suggest.I'mnot marriedtotheidea.Lily,takeit. Whydon'twegetanappetizer? Howaboutthe...onionrings? Imean,diamondrings. Imean,diamondcircles. Imean,onioncircles.I knowthey'refattening, butIhearthisplace hasgreatonioncircles. So,Robin,aboutnottellingthem? Thegreensaladlooksinteresting. You'resomuchbetterwithouthim. Ifyouaskme,Vinnie'sarealjerk. Hey,don'tyoudarebadmouthVinnie! -Sowhatdoyoudo? -Well,Iteacharchitecture,andIalso... Oh,bigmanwithajob.You thinkyorebetterthanme? What... So...wheredoyoulive? I'montheUpperWestSide. Oh,bigman.LivinginManhattan. What,youthinkyou'rebetterthanme? Youthinkyou'rebetterthanme?! Well,it'sacloseone. Lilymade14awkwardreferencesto marriage,andMarshallmadeaneven60. -I'msosorry,Kevin. -It'sokay. I'mgonnagotobed,butyouguysthink tomorrowwecanstopwithallthemarriagetalk? -Ido. -Ido. That'sahalfapointeach. -Seeyouinaminute. -Okay. So?Areyouanyclosertodeciding? well,thereissomethingyoudon'tknow. Canyouguyskeepasecret? -Yeah. -Well,someofuscan. Well,there'ssomething Ihavebeenkeeping fromeveryoneforthe lastcoupleofmonths. IfoundoutthatIcan'thavechildren. -I'msosorry. -Yeah. -Areyouokay? -Ican'tbelievethatwedidn'tknow. No,youknow,I'vehadsome...time todealwiththisbymyself,and... I'mokay.Forreal. -Areyousure? -Yeah. So...eventhoughIloveKevinandI... thinkIwanttosayyes,I can'tuntilItellhim. ButI'mscaredit'll endourrelationship. Youknowwhat,Robin?Ifit's meanttobe,thenitwon'tmatter. Yeah,youjusthavetotellhim. ThankGodwehadthekeys toMarshallandLily'splace. PrettysureItoldyouthatbefore youkickedinthatsidewindow. Youmean,beforethe"burglars" kickedinthatsidewindow andstoleallofLily'sunderwear. Whatthehellhappenedonthattrain? Itwasabsolutechaos. Ted,whenIwasatM.I.T.,my favoriteEinsteinquotewas: "Goddoesn'tplaydice withtheuniverse." -Youdidn'tgotoM.I.T. -Ididn't? Iactuallyhavenoidea whereyouwenttocollege. Whoareyou? Ifweanalyzetheseemingly randompatternsofthetrain, takingintoaccountstandarddeviation, andassumingthatepsilonapproaches zeroasangledeltaapproachespi, wecanconclude... Damnit,Ted! Iwasabouttodropsomesweet wordplayaboutlogarithms andgettingintoarhythmwithmylog. I'llrememberit. Thenextmorning,Robin musteredupallhercourage andfinallytoldKevinhersecret. Iknowthatthisis alottoprocess,so... youtakeallthetimeyouneed. -AndIunderstand... -Robin... willyoumarryme? Yes. -Whatareyoudoing? -ThetopspeedoftheDrunkTrainis73milesperhour, andyoufactorinan aggregateof32boobspercar, 28ofwhicharemotorboatable,and youdividethat... No,no,no!Thisisallwrong! Itshouldbesosimple!I mean,it'stheDrunkTrain! MyGod... it'sbeenrightinfront ofusthewholetime. get -"Getdrunk" -Yeah. Ofcourse. Goodcircling,Ted. Thisain'tmyfirstwordsearch. SomyMom'salreadypickeda date,venueandcatererforthewedding. Butnothing'ssetinstone. Mygreat-aunt'sgonna sing.That'shappening. -Areyoureallyokaywiththis? -Yeah,she'sactuallygotadecentvoice. No,areyou...areyouokaywith everythingthatwetalkedabout? Ofcourse,Robin,Iloveyou. Besides,thereare otherwaystohavekids. There'sadoption,surrogacy... No,Kevin,it'snotjustthatI can'thavekids,Idon'twantkids. Okay. Knowingthat,doyouwant totakeyourproposalback? Willyoumarryme? Oh,youtakesuchgoodcareofme. Thanksforloaningmeyour shoesformyswollenfeet. Ah!Ioweyouone. -Wehavetostopthis -Stopwhat? Keepingscore. You'regrowingababy,ourbaby. Soyou'reofficially aheadofmeforlife. Oh,thanks,sweetie. Oncewe'reparents,we havetobeateam.Deal? eight It'syourturn!Iwasonpoint forsixstraighthoursyesterday! Twoofthosehourswere anapandyouknowit! Let'sgototheboard! Ihopeit'sasoupydeuce,sucka. Deal.We'reateam. Iwasall,"DoIlooklike I'mfromRonkonkoma?!" That'sallyougottasay! Oh,oh,oh,bigmanwithabriefcase! Whatdoyouthink,you're betterthanme?! Hey,ourstop'snext. Doyouwanttojoinus? -Yeah,Ithinkwedo. -Nah,we'regood. -Tooskanky. -Tooskanky?It'stheDrunkTrain. Youcrossedoutallthe stopsandwrote"Vaginaville. "That'snottrue.That onesays"BonerGardens. "What'sgoingon? Wait.DidthatQuinngirl shakeyourgameorsomething? Hellno! Attheendofthenight... Youknow,Iwentouttonightlooking foracheap,meaninglessfling. Butyouturnedouttobesospecial. I'dhatetoruinthis friendshipwithsex. Oh,oh,Iamwillingtotakethatrisk. Goodone,Ted. Anyway,I'mseriouslycontemplating purchasinganewironingboard. Doyouthink...? Okay,I'llgiveyouthis:You stoodbyyourboyallnight, eventhoughyouhaveno chanceofgettingwithme. Thatwasprettycool. Yeah,youknow,inretrospect, Ithinkthatwasthemomentyoudecided tocomebacktomyplaceandgetnasty. Yeah,right.Getup.You'reonmybra. Sorry. Where'syourbathroom? Pastthekitchen,downthehall. See,IfeellikeIwouldrememberyoutwo beingnakedonyourcouch inthemiddleoftheclub. Oh,right.Thatwaslaterinmy apartmentafterwegotnasty.Mybad. So,youwanttogoto adinerorsomething? Wait-wait-wait. Yousleptwithher? Iknow,Iknow.I'mlate onsendingthepictures. I'vebeenswamped. -YoulikeQuinn. -I... That'swhyyoucan'tstop "complaining"abouther. That'swhyyoujusttanked ourchancewiththese... lovelyinnocentflowers. Idon'tevencarewherewego,but Ihatedoingitontheground. Barney,doyouknowwhyI'monthe DrunkTrainonValentine'sDay? BecauseIhavenothingbettertodo. NooneIcan'tstopthinkingabout. Soifyoufeelsomething forQuinn,goforit. Becauseyou'rewasting yourtimehere.Webothare. Idon'tlikeQuinn! Kevin,Iloveyou,butpleasedon'tjust betheniceguywhosaystherightthing. Robin,Iwanttomarry younomatterwhat. Assumingyoudon'tturn intoabigfatfattie. See?Rightthere.Don't alwayssaytherightthing. Look,youjustgotatruckload ofnewinformationdumpedonyou. Willyoumarryme? Myfeelingsonkidsaren'tgonnachange. -Willyoumarryme? -Haven'tyoualwayswantedkids? ThatwasbeforeIfellinlovewithyou. Well,that'sthething.Your futurealwayshadkidsinit. Thatissomethinghugeyou wouldbegivingupforme. Ijustdon'tthinkIcould everowesomeonethatmuch. I'mscaredthatyou'll... wakeupin-inayearor tenor50,fullofregret. So...Ineedyoutobesure,okay? Ifwegetmarried,you willneverhavechildren. Areyoureallyokaywiththat? EnormousPenisSyndrome? E.P.S.It'sallaboutawareness. That'swhywe'redoingthefunrun,the silentauction,thethree-leggedrace. Ofcourse,that'sjustoneguy. Youknowwhat?Ican'tdothis. Youcanletmeoutuphere. Why?Yougotagirlfriendorsomething? Maybesomething. Kids,sometimesyourealize thejourneyyou'vebeentaking hasreacheditsfinalstop. So,thequestionbecomes: Wheredoyougonext? Areyouokay? Ayearfromnow,we'llallbegone Allourfriendswillmoveaway Andthey'regoingtobetterplaces Butourfriendswillbegoneaway... So...heun-proposed. We'reover. AndI-I... I-Iknowit'sforthebest. It'sjust... Iwasfinallyready forsomethingserious. Heseemedliketheguyto takethatnextstepwith. Buthecouldn'tlookpastthis. Imean,whocould? Icould. Iloveyou,Robin. You'vebeencomplaining aboutthisBarneyguysomuch, I'mstartingtothinkthatyoulikehim. Likehis apartment--check. Likehismoves downtown--checkplus. Butlikehim?Ugh.Please. I'mjustsurprisedhe doesn'trecognizeyou. Hepracticallyliveshere. Gentlemen,giveitupforKarma. 不好意思让大家久等了 其实他之前有踢过的 可能现在压力太大 难以发挥吧 Marshall新婚之夜语录之一 好像轻轻来了一下 我感觉到一点了 Lily新婚之夜语录里之一 不准笑Lily Marshall新婚之夜语录! 咱能不谈我的新婚之夜吗? 没问题那就聊聊昨晚吧 就跟其他晚上没什么区别 我又有机会约上一炮 Barney来帮帮忙 跟我聊天的那个美女 要去夜店里见个朋友 我要你陪我去 可是我马上就约炮成功了 -难道不是么? -好吧的确 那个"朋友"最好比这个更辣更笨 你得了巨型阴茎综合症 我从来没听说过这个病 是啊这个病就是常遭受漠视 这就是我为什么要组织 一万米的长跑比赛 不过大多数患者都需要个手推车 你太勇敢了 你太善解人意了 其他人都只会盯着我 认为我是个爱穿 加固型内裤的变态 真可怜 我不能感同身受 因为我从来不穿内裤 -中头彩! -你想走吗? 这好像有点太快了走吧 但在走之前我要坦白一件事 我得了"老娘才不傻障碍症" 作为曾经的卫生署署长 我觉得不可能有这个病 好了别闹了 你泡不到我的 我们就来陪陪朋友而已 -你们俩是怎么认识的? -得了吧我们又不是在约会 你不用假装觉得 我说的屁大点事儿都很有趣 只是为了借机跟我上床 哪有?我们才不会那样! 山羊乳干酪?!真有趣! 你还对什么东西过敏? 昨天晚上你欠了我三个小时Mosby 来参加周末的激光枪锦标赛补偿我 Ted扮未成年没问题吧? 这次是父子组队比赛 Marshall我们要走了 再晚一点就只能搭醉号列车了 醉号列车? 最后一班回长岛的列车 车上乱得要死 车上尽是些醉醺醺的屌丝 刚从城里的趴体上回来 到处勾搭人 -没错 -拜拜 拜拜 新计划Ted 如果要扮父子组队的话 反着戴棒球帽的我特别显小 上车去! 情人节的那个周末 Lily和Marshall邀请Kevin和Robin 一起去了佛蒙特州 16年了都还这么恩爱 你们有什么秘诀? 维系一段感情的关键 是明白听见和听懂的区别 -要尊重另一半的... -观点... 我正说着呢 感情中要相互迁就 别老是计较太多 搞得跟比赛一样 就像Barney老是揪住 Ted浪费了他三个小时这件事不放 如果他们是一对绝对长久不了 很明显的Ted是金牛座 Barney是典型的天蝎 好建议不要计较 他们绝对还有一大堆建议要说 我们是怎么样不计较的呢? 大家都想听一些列子亲爱的 我多想把我的耳朵捂住 Lily新婚之夜语录之一 不错啊 比如这个 每次Marshall的妈妈来看我们的时候 我们都要把她这些年 送给我们的那些俗气小礼物 通通摆出来 -嗨Mom -嗨Eriksen太太 Marshall 我没看见我给你们做的 地鼠毛茶壶套 应该是Lily嫌弃它吧 但是我从来都没跟Marshall计较 要不然他就欠了我一个大人情 就像你把我拉去先锋小剧场 看那个前卫的话剧 我也没有怪你 这话剧里就只有尖叫吗? 只有尖叫 但是我们从不互相计较 明白了非常清楚 不要计较 要不然我就要计较 Marshall杀了我表弟的狗 谁让它吃了我的钱包呢? 为什么你的钱包里都是巧克力呢?! 是不是又要说这档子事啊 那天晚上我和Barney踏上 怪异的新旅程 那就是醉号列车 为什么我之前没有 发现这个好地方呢? 听见它鼓舞人心的颂歌了吗Ted? 我能打到炮我能打到炮 它就是小阴擎浪荡特快 长岛臀路 我想到一个 托马斯拍屁股火车 Ted那可是儿童读物 这里虽然很有意思 但是现在不早了我们怎么演? 别说连体婴 别又撑坏我一件衣服 这是醉号列车我们用不着演 只需要坐在这儿 故作深沉打量美女 到终点站的时候绝对能睡到一个 三分钟之后 你脾气真好 能整晚坐着听他们俩斗嘴 一句抱怨都没有 我是个心理医生 所以应该要向他们收费的 还有一些有用的药物治疗 -Lily不能用药她怀孕了 -是给我们的 如果我们吃足五顿饭 还比赛滑雪的话 必须要来点药刺激一下神经 如果我们互相计较的话 我要欠你一整个周末了 我想要更久一点 什么意思? Robin你愿意嫁给我吗? 我知道这有点快 但是我真的很想跟你开始新的人生 如果你也想的话 我没说不我什么都没说 我我只是需要点儿时间 我完全理解你随意 我就把它放这儿直到你准备好 -我们能不能把那坏小子挪开? -它老盯着咱不是吗? Ted!Ted!Ted! 我给醉号车想了几个新名字 炮车! 放浪之车! 托马斯拍屁股火车! -我昨天说过那个了 -你没有 哇哦有人喝了咖啡 18杯! 今晚我绝不会再睡着了! 那个叫Quinn的女孩错了 她说我不可能爱任何东西 但我爱这火车! 她说你不会爱上任何东西?真尖锐 你不知道 别盯了不可能的 有什么办法能让我们重头再来? 我已经认识你了 是吗? -你一天到晚穿西装 -显然 你对所有事抱有愚蠢的准则 我买单你服务那是礼貌 很多个夜晚你在脱衣舞酒吧 独自一人内心空虚 告诉自己你的生活是部史诗 是个经典或是传奇 我从没说过史诗或经典 你练过黑魔法吧? 不他们怎么可以忘记你叫的土豆沙拉外卖! 后来怎样了?! 最后一次对不起 没关系咱们两清了 你不用再来醉号车了 无论如何你永远也不会在那儿 遇到真命天女的 -去他妈的真命天女! -什么? 我最近的每个约会都那么惨 上周我约会的女孩 最爱的乐队是Glee 另外都快情人节了 我还是独自一人 没有任何有女朋友的迹象 所以呢全体上车! 你是我的骄傲过来 Ted今晚将会是史等等奇! 等一下不对我通常怎么说来着? 我恨那个叫Quinn的小妞! -我提议点一瓶红酒 -附议! 不是提议是建议我不和点子结婚 Lily就要它了 要不点个开胃菜吧? 洋葱戒指怎么样? 我是说钻石戒指 我是说钻石圈 我是说洋葱圈我知道那发胖 但我听说这地方的洋葱圈很棒 Robin不是说好不告诉他们么? 蔬菜沙拉看上去不错 你跟他分手挺好 要我说Vinnie是个十足的混蛋 你敢说Vinnie的坏话! -你是干嘛的? -我教建筑学我还... 大人物的工作你以为你比我强? 什么... 那么...你住哪儿? 我住西区上部 大人物住在曼哈顿 怎样你认为你比我强? 你认为你比我好?! 这个差一点儿 Lily隐射了14次关于结婚的事 Marshall则是60次 -对不起Kevin -没事儿 我睡去了明天能别再总说结婚了? -我不说 -我不说 (也可以理解为结婚时回答我愿意) 半斤八两 -一会儿见 -好的 所以?你快要决定了吗? 有些事情你们不知道 你们能保密吗? -能 -我们中有些人能 有些事 过去几个月我一直瞒着大家 我发现我不能生孩子 -听到这个我真难过 -我也是 -你还好吗? -真不敢相信我们不知道 不你知道我需要一点自己的时间 真的我没事 -你确定? -确定 所以...尽管我爱Kevin我也... 想要答应他但必须等我告诉他之后 但我害怕这样我们就完了 Robin你知道吗?如果你们命中注定会在一起 就不用害怕 告诉他就行了 谢天谢地 我们有Marshall和Lily家钥匙 你打碎那边窗户之前 我肯定告诉过你 你是说在"夜贼"打破窗子前吗 然后偷了Lily所有的内衣 火车上到底发生什么了? 吵得一塌糊涂 Ted我还在麻省理工上学的时候 我最喜欢的爱因斯坦格言是 "上帝不用宇宙掷骰子" -你没上过麻省理工 -我没有? 我竟然不知道你上的什么大学 你是谁? 如果我们分析火车的近似随意方程 带入考虑标准偏差 假设最小值接近零三角接近派 我们可以得出结论... 见鬼Ted! 我即将得出完美的对数 即将登陆我的韵律 我会记住的 第二天一早Robin打包好所有行李 最终告诉Kevin她的秘密 我知道这很难接受... 需要多少时间都可以 -我理解... -Robin... 你愿意嫁给我吗? 愿意 -你在干嘛? -醉号车最高时速每小时73公里 假设每节车厢有32个乳房 28个坚挺有力然后除以... 不不不!都错了! 原来这么简单!就是醉号车! 我的上帝... 一直就在我们眼前 喝醉 -"喝醉" -对 当然 Ted画得好 这可不是我找到的第一个词 我妈已经挑好了结婚日期地点和酒店 但是还没最终决定 我大姨要献唱 好像是这样 -你不喜欢吗? -不实际上她声音很优美 不是这个问题 我们...我们刚谈的那些你能接受么 当然Robin我爱你 而且还有很多办法来要小孩 可以领养啊代孕啊 不Kevin不只是我不能生 我也不想要孩子 没事 那你会收回你的求婚吗? 你愿意嫁给我吗? 你把我照顾的真好 谢谢你把鞋子借给我发肿的脚 啊我欠你一分 -我们不能再这么干了 -不能怎么干 一直算分 你有了宝宝我们的宝宝 所以理所应当你这辈子都领先我 亲爱的谢谢你 一旦我们成了父母 我们就是一队的了好吗? 八个月后 该你拉!我昨天守了六个小时! 你明知道有两个小时你都在打瞌睡! 我们来看记分牌! 我希望是一泡稀的混蛋 嗯我们是一队的 我看上去就是一副 "我像从Ronkonkoma来的样子吗?" 就是这样! 噢噢噢拿着公文包的大人物! 你觉得你就比我了不起吗? 我们下站到了 你们跟我们一起来么? -好啊我们去啊 -不了还是算了 -不太好 -不太好?这可是醉号车啊 你把所有站都画出来 还写了"水性杨花" 不对那是"荒谬之园" 怎么了你 等等那个叫Quinn的女孩跟你那啥啦? 才没有! 那天晚上最后... 你知道的今天晚上 本来我是想来找一夜情的 但是你太特别了 我不想让做爱毁了我们的友谊 噢噢我愿意冒这个险 呵呵Ted 我最近在想要不要买个新的烫衣板 你觉得...? 跟你明说了吧 你跟在你兄弟边上一整晚 即便如此你还是没办法吸引我 这真是太了不起了 是啊回想起来 那也就是你决定 来我这做点下流事的时候吧 没错起来你坐在我胸罩上了 不好意思 你家洗手间在哪 厨房过去走廊那边就是 我怎么感觉我是在酒吧中间的沙发上 看见你俩光着身子的呢 噢没错那是我们啪啪啪之后 到我公寓那部分了我错了 你想去吃点东西什么的吗? 等等等等你跟她睡过了? 我知道我知道现在告诉你有点晚 我陷进去了 -你喜欢Quinn -我... 说以你才不停的"抱怨"她 所以你才喝的醉醺醺的来泡这些... 可爱纯洁的花朵 我不管我们去哪 但是我不喜欢在地上搞 Barney你知道我为什么 要在情人节坐醉酒列车吗? 因为我没事可干 我没有一直萦绕在心头的人 所以你要是喜欢Quinn 去追她 因为你现在在这浪费时间 我们都是 我不喜欢Quinn! Kevin我爱你但是别一直 因为善良而委屈自己 Robin不管怎样我都想娶你 假设你不会变成一个大胖子 瞧别老去杞人忧天 你刚刚知道了很多我瞒着你的东西 你愿意嫁给我吗? 在孩子这个问题上我不会变 -你愿意嫁给我吗? -你不是一直想要孩子吗? 那是在我爱上你之前 你过去一直说未来孩子孩子怎么样 你为我放弃了这么多 我觉得我欠你太多太多了 我怕你在接下来的一年十年 或者五十年 都是在无尽的后悔中醒来 所以再好好想想好吗? 如果我们结婚了 这辈子都不会有孩子 你真的不介意吗? 阴茎巨大综合症? E.P.S.别人都这么叫 所以我们举办募捐长跑拍卖 还有三足跑 当然只有一个人 那个我不能这么做 我就在这下车 为什么?你有女朋友了还是怎么? 可能是怎么了 孩子们有时候你们会发现 自己一直走的那条路 已经到了终点站 然后问题就是: 接下来你要去哪? 你还好么? 一年之后我们都会离开 所有的朋友都会远去 他们去了更好的地方 但是所有的朋友都不在了... 所以...他取消求婚了 我们结束了 而且我我... 我我知道这是最好的结局 只是... 我终于下定决心来考虑终生大事 感觉他就是那个我要携手一生的人 但是他过不了这个坎 谁又能呢? 我能 我爱你Robin 你老是在抱怨这个叫Barney的 我都怀疑你是不是喜欢他了 喜欢他的公寓算一个 喜欢他的三分球再算一个 但是喜欢他?噢得了吧 我只是很奇怪他竟然没有认出你 他几乎是住在这了 先生们有请Karma (Karma也有报应的意思) 第17集{/a}theyear2030 Kids,I'llneverforgetthefirst timeItoldyourmotherIlovedher. ItwasarainydayinNewYork. Wejusthadahorriblelunch. Themoviewewantedtoseewassoldout, andIjustlookedatherandsaid, "Iloveyou." Itwasabigdealforme. Ihadn'tsaidthattoagirlsince... Iloveyou,Robin. I'mserious. Doyourememberwhywe brokeupinthefirstplace? Weaskedeachother,"Where doyouwanttobeinfiveyears?" Andouranswerswerejusttoodifferent. Well,it'sfiveyearslater, andwherearewe? Standingontheroof whereIkissedyouforthefirsttime. Iknowthisisalottoprocess, sonopressurehere. Just...whatdoyouthink? Youknowwhat? You'reexhausted,it'slate. Let'sjustgotosleep. Well,goodnight. Whatthehellwasthat? Okay,Icanfixthis. I-Iwasjusttemporarilyinsane becauseofmyLymedisease, whichIgotonacampingtrip thatIdidn'ttellheraboutbecause... Igocampinginsecret. Perfect. OrIcouldsay,"I'msorry, we'regreatasfriends. Let'sjustforgetIeversaidanything." Yeah,that'sprobablybetter. Okay,heregoes. Igocampinginsecret. Wow,Ted,I... wow,okay.Yougotto givemeaminutehere. Yeah,ofcourse. Okay,um,weneedtot-talkaboutthis. Thistimeyesterday,Iwas inVermontengagedtoanotherman. Imean,it'sbeen 24hoursofemotionalmayhem, and,andthedayisstillnotover. Imean,IsweartoGod, ifthere'sanymoresurprises, I'mgonnahitsomeone! comrade. Thatmeans, "Hello,coworker." YoureadyforourtriptoMotherRussia? Oh,yeah,AuntRobin wasthrilledWorldWideNews askedhertogotoMoscow tocoverMaslenitsa. Shewaslessthrilledtodiscover Maslenitsaisthecity's annualbutterfestival. Evenworse,she'dspendanentire weekwithallthosebutteryRussians and herarchenemyPatrice. Uh,ourflightleaves at9:00p.m.,nota.m. God...Patrice! But,Robin, theschedulesays9:00a.m. andmyticketsays9:00a.m. andallthee-mailreminders said9:00a.m. andourboss inthecardownstairssaid... Okay,Patrice,Igetit! Oh,no! Pairofpantscominginhot! Noise-cancelingheadphones. Oh,Idon'tneed'em. It'saten-hourflight andyoursittingnexttoPatrice. Oh,God,where'smycoughsyrup? You'regonnamakeit. I'llbringyourbagdown. Wherearemyshoes? Wherearemyshoes?! Don'tworry.It'sfine. Andlook,aboutallthis... Yeah,Justgo. -Good-bye. -Bye. Whydidn'tIkissher? We'llcontinuethiswhenIgetback. Hello. Iknowit'searly,butcanyou meetmeatthebarrightnow,alone? I'monmyway. IgottomeetTedatthebar. It's7:00a.m. Man,Tedreally needstoworkonhisboundaries. Shh,guys,seriously. Whyareyouinourbed? Itookthedrunktrain andgotstuckouthere. Oh,God,Iamsohungover. Oh,God,Lily'snotwearingabra! Shh! Bye,baby. ?? Doyouthink...? Okay,Ialreadyknow Idon'twanttohearthis. Doyouthinkthatifwedidit... Yeah,Iwasright. Idon'twanttohearthis. ...andIdidareallygoodjob... Pleaseleave. ...thatIcouldturnthatintomybaby? IthinkI'mgonnathrowup. -Morningsickness? -No. It'scrazy,right? Areyoushocked? No,I'mnotshocked. You'reinlovewithRobin. DoyourememberbackatChristmas whenshewasupset, youdidn'tevenknowwhy, andyouspent eighthourssettingup Christmaslightsintheapartment justtocheerherup.