【无声告白中莉迪亚在成长中的自我心理认识过程（论文）】

《无声告白》中莉迪亚在成长中的自我心理认识过程ContentsTOC\o"1-3"\h\u9996Abstract(English) I20461Abstract(Chinese) II297411Introduction 1289851.1ResearchBackgroundandSignificance 1310111.2LiteratureReview 2292911.2.1Researchabroad 2268611.2.1Researchathome 3240672WuQishiandEverythingINeverToldYou 5137922.1IntroductiontotheAuthor 515662.2OverviewofEverythingINeverToldYou 6220953EmbodimentofAbsurdityinEverythingINeverToldYou 824773.1AbnormalPhenomenainSociety 840133.2RacialDiscrimination 9147373.2.1RacialdiscriminationagainstJames 9296093.2.2Racialdiscriminationoninterracialmarriage 1071103.3OddityinLydia’sFamily 10264164Lydia’sSelf-awarenessProcess 1294394.1GrowingConfusion 1226844.1.1Confusionoftwodifferentcultures 12169854.1.2Confusionofwomen'sstatus 13211424.2PursuitofCulturalandGenderIdentity 13257464.2.1Seekingculturalidentity 13266164.2.2Genderidentityseeking 14280054.3ReturningtoNormalFamily 16151565Conclusion 1820665Reference 19OntheProcessofLydia’sSelfPsychologicalCognitioninHerGrowthinEverythingINeverToldYouStudent:Tutor:1Introduction1.1ResearchBackgroundandSignificanceEverythingINeverToldYouisatime-consumingChinesewriter.SheputtheethnicandculturalconflictsfacedbyChineseAmericansundertheeavesofthesamefamily.Oncepublished,thisbookhasreceivedextensiveattentionfromthesociety.ThebooktellsthetragicstoryofLydia,achildborninacross-ethnicfamily,whodiedbecauseshecouldn'tbeartheexcessiveloveandexpectationofherparents.Thenovelisdividedintotwomainlines,oneisfamilyspeculation,andtheotherisLydia'sreadme.Withdeepandfullwritingstyle,WuQi'spoetrydepictsafamilytryingtoestablishitselfinthetorrentofhistoryandayounggirlwhomakeseveryefforttointegrateintosociety.Theparent-childrelationshippresentedinthenovelisveryspecial,andthewholefamilycontinuestobeinanabnormalstate.Forexample,daughter'sfearofparents,titfortatbetweenfatherandson,andsoon.Theperformanceoftheseabnormalfamilyethicsisnotonlyrelatedtothedevelopmenttrendofsocietyandtimesatthattime,butalsoreflectsthecontradictionofmutualattractionandexclusionbetweencharacters.Thiscontradictoryplotimpliestherelationshipofobedienceandresistancebetweensubjects(parentsandchildren).Atthesametime,italsoreflectsLydia'sselfpsychologicalunderstandingprocessinhergrowth,whichisworthexploring.Thepurposeofthisstudyistoanalyzethetragedyoftherelationshipbetweenhusbandandwife,motheranddaughterandfatheranddaughterinEverythingINeverToldYou,aswellastheselfpsychologicalcognitionprocessoftheprotagonistLydiaundersuchanenvironment.SoastoexploretheEnlightenmentofhistragedytofuturegenerations,inordertoprovidesomereferencefortheresearchersandreadersofthisbookandpromotethedevelopmentofparent-childrelationshiptheory.1.2LiteratureReview1.2.1ResearchabroadAlthoughEverythingINeverToldYouhasbeenwidelypraisedbyAmericanliterarycirclesandthepublicsinceitspublication,therehasbeenlittleresearchpublishedinrecentyears.AsofMarch2019,theauthorfoundthattherewereonlymorethan20Englishreviewsandjournalsfromtheworld'smosttrustedglobalcitationdatabase,academicsearchwebsite,OCLC,LISTAandotherforeignlanguageresourcedatabases.Inthesestudies,somescholarsevaluatethenovelfromtheperspectiveofrace.TheybelievethatthemixedculturehasbroughtgreatconfusionandpressuretoLydia'sfamilyandhadanegativeimpactontheirtimelygrowth.DiPiro(2005)believesthatEverythingINeverToldYouisanovelfullofracialdiscrimination,andtheidentificationofChineseAmericansismoredifficultthanthatofordinaryAmericans.Therefore,shebelievesthatduetoracialdiscrimination,thegrowthofChineseAmericanmixedracechildrenismuchmoredifficultthanordinaryteenagerswithasingleculturalbackground.Rooney(2002)believesthatthenovelisastoryofaChineseAmericanfamilyandastoryaboutAmericangenderandracialprejudiceinthemiddleofthe20thcentury.Hebelievesthatthenoveltellsthestoryofamixedracefamilydealingwithandtryingtodiscovertheseeminglymysteriousdeath.Butit'sreallyaboutthewayLydiaandherbrothersandsistersareregardedas"aliens"insocietyandeveninthismixedracefamily.Willoughby(2016)believesthatthisnovelisastoryaboutthepressureofprejudiceandtheburdenofbeingtreatedasanoutsider.BecausethesearethepressureforLydiatoadaptandintegrateintothemainstreamsociety,buttheyarethedreamsherparentswanttoachieve.WilloughbybelievesthatthemixingofculturesmakesLydiafallintogreatconfusion,whichhindersthehealthygrowthofLydiaofChineseandAmericandescent.Somescholarshavecommentedonthestabilityandmobilityofroleidentity.Borninthismixedfamily,Lydiaandherbrotherandsisterexperiencedatransformationfrominnocencetomaturityinthepursuitoftheirsubjectiveidentity.Inthisprocess,theyfacedifferenttemptations,tests,puzzlesandepiphanies.Kavich(2018)discussedtheculturalconflictsencounteredbyChineseethnicminoritiesintheculturalmixedspace.HeassertedthatLydiaandherbrothersandsisterswerestrugglingfortheiruniqueidentityconstruction.Theyareundergreatinvisiblepressurefromtheirfamilies,schoolsandwhitemainstreamsociety.However,kavichalsobelievesthatassimilationreflectsthemobilityofidentitytoacertainextent.Ng(2014)pointedoutthatitwasdifficultforWuQishitomaintainaneutralattitudewhenwritingthisnovelfullofidentitycrisisbecauseofherownethnicidentity.Willemse(2014)takesLydiaasanexample,focusingonthecausesofherabnormaldeath,analyzesthedivisionofherpersonality,psychologyandactioncausedbyherparents'will,aswellasthepainfulprocessofbeinganoutsiderwhoisdifficulttoadapttothesurroundingenvironment.Atthesametime,itpointsoutthedefectsofchildren'scharacterandtheuncertaintyofidentitypositioninginmixedracefamilies.1.2.1ResearchathomeWhentheChineseversionofEverythingINeverToldYouwaspublished,domesticscholarsandreaderswereshockedbythefamilysecretsanddeeplymovingstoriesinthenovel.Sosomescholarsbegantoanalyzethenovelfrommultipleangles.Theauthorhassearcheditinmorethanadozenfamousnetworks,suchasSinaandZhihu,anditscommentsarerelativelyrich.EspeciallyonDouban,afamousbookrecommendationwebsite,therankingofthisnovelisashighas8.2pointsintheevaluationofmorethan11000readers.Althoughforeignscholars'researchonWuQi'spoetryisrelativelyrare,thereare82papersrelatedtoEverythingINeverToldYouinCNKIdatabase,including20master'spapers.Theearliestmaster'sthesisonsilentconfessionwasTheDeathKnellTollsforThem:aStudyof‘EverythingINeverToldYou’fromthePerspectiveofSocialistFeministCriticism,writtenbyZhangCeofNanjingNormalUniversityin2016(DongYanyan,2019).FromtheperspectiveofSocialistFeministCriticism,thispaperusesDeborahMadsen'stheorytodescribehowwomeninthenovelbecomevictimsofpatriarchalsocietytovaryingdegrees.Powerrelationsandcollectiveoppressionareconsideredtobethemainreasonsforthetragedy.In2017,thereweremorestudiesonEverythingINeverToldYou.JinJingandWuQinghong(2017)analyzedtheethicalrelationshipofcross-ethnicfamiliesfromtheaspectsofmarriageandchildrenthroughBeauvoir'spostcolonialtheoryandBeauvoir'sfeministtheory.LaiFucongLydiaandMarilyn(2017)conductedaintertextualanalysisofthetextofthenovel,revealingtherealitythatChineseAmericanssufferfromwesternhegemony,culturalprejudice,raceandgenderdiscrimination.YuanZhiying(2017)analyzedthemarginalgroupsinChinesewomen'sliterature.SheusedtheedgetheoryofParkerschooltovividlyshowthedevelopmentofwomenindifferentstagesofsocietyatthattime.LiRunrunandZhangHuirong(2016)interpretthecausesoftragedyfromtheperspectiveofethnictheory,traumatheoryandpersonalityanalysistheory,tryingtoexplainthatLydia'stragedyisnotonlyherpersonaltragedy,butalsothetragedyofcrossracialfamily,butalsothetragedyofthewholesociety.LiYang(2016)believesthatthetragicfateofherdaughterLydiaisthereincarnationofthefateofhermotherMarilyn,whichiscausedbytheindividual'slackofpursuitonherwayforward.HuangYinganalyzestheconflictandcontradictionofbinaryoppositioninthenovel,includingAsianandwhite,womenandcareer,parents'expectationsandchildren'spressure,children'sfavorandlossoffavor.Shebelievesthatsuchcontradictionsandconflictsaretheresultoflackofcommunication,highlightingthehiddenthemeofcommunication.Onthewhole,theresearchresultsofdomesticscholarsonEverythingINeverToldYou.arerelativelyrich,andtheresearchofforeignscholarsisrelativelylack.However,inthesestudies,therearefewstudiesonthegrowthprocessoftheprotagonistLydia'sself-awareness,sothisstudyhascertaininnovativesignificance,andcanalsoenrichtherelevantresearch.

2WuQishiandEverythingINeverToldYou2.1IntroductiontotheAuthorCelesteNg(WuQishiinChinese),aChineseAmericanwomenauthor,whowasborninPittsburgh,Pennsylvaniain1980,haswonarenownedreputationintheAmericanliteraturecircle.Inthelate1960s,herparents,originallyfromHongKong,decidedtoimmigrateintotheU.S.CelesteNggrowsupfromanintellectualfamily,whosefatherisaphysicistworkingforNASAattheGlennResearchCenteranddiedin2004andwhosemotherisachemistteachingatClevelandStateUniversity.Attheageoften,CelesteNgwasadmittedintoShakerHeightsHighSchoolinOhio,whereithastheoutstandingstrengthineducationalsystemandresources.Duetohergoodachievementsineverysubjectatschool,CelesteNgwasappointedasaco-editoroftheschool’sliterarymagazine,whichhaspavedafundamentalpathforthepersonalfuturedevelopmentandgrowth.Ineverydaylife,CelesteNgwasaccustomedintowritingthepoems,playsandshortstories.Undoubtedly,aftergraduatingfromShakerHeightsHighSchoolin1998,CelesteNgenteredtheHarvarduniversity,adistinguishedU.S.universityandmajoredinEnglish.Assheacquiredabachelor’sdegreein2002,CelesteNgwasengagedintextbookpublishing,andtookthefictionwritingclassatherleisure.Withoutanyhesitationinhermind,shecontinuedtopursuethefurtherstudywitharesolutedetermination.Therefore,shesubmittedtheapplicationforstudyinginapostgraduateprogram(creativewritingprogram)attheUniversityofMichigan,whereshecompletedtheMFA(MasterofFineArts)inwriting.AllthoselifeandstudyexperiencescontributetosubsequentsuccessinAmericanliterature.InaTVinterview,shehassaid,“themoststrikingbooksinherearlylifeareHarriettheSpybyFitzhughLouise,TheGodofSmallThingsbyArundhatiRoy,BelovedbyToniMorrison,BelCantobyAnnPatchett,AmyandIsabellebyElizabethStrout,aswellasTokillaMockingbirdbyHarperLee,TheCatherintheRyebyJeromeDavidSalinger,TheGreatGatsbybyFrancisScottKeyFitzgerald,TheSunAlsoRisesbyErnestMillerHemingway,TheCountofMonteCristobyAlexandreDumas,père(Fallon2016).”Presently,CelesteNglivesinCambridge,Massachusetts,withherhusband,MatthewT.Fox,andtheirson.Becauseofherardententhusiasmofwriting,CelesteNgplannedtowriteforalivelihood.WhileatMichigan,shewontheHopwoodAwardforhershortstory,WhatPassesOver.Inthefollowingdays,CelesteNghasbeencommittedtodramaandfiction,alsoandreceivedaseriesofprizesforwritingsuchasaPushcartPrizeforhershortstory,Girls,AtPlayin2012.SomeofheressaysconsistentlyemergedintheliterarymagazineslikeOneStory,TriQuarterly,NewYorkerTimesandSubtropics.CelesteNgspentsixyearswritingandpolishingherfirstnovelcalledEverythingINeverToldYou,whichhelpedhercausedarippleofstorminAmericanliterarycircle.Unsurprisingly,asherdebutnovelwaspublished,allkindsofawardsarrivedsuchasNo1BookoftheYearselectedbytheAmazonEditors,theMassachusettsBookAward,theAsianandPacificAmericanAwardsforLiterature,theAlexAwardandtheMediciBookClubPrize.Inaddition,ithassofarbeentranslatedintomorethan20variousversions,whichspranguparoundtheworld.Atthesametime,in2017,hersecondnovel,LittleFiresEverywhere,hasbeenpublished,whichliterarycriticsalsoraisedhighconcernover.NowLittleFiresEverywhereisbeingadaptedforeight-episodemini-seriesonHulu,whichissettobereleasedin2020.Atpresent,CelesteNgteacheswritingattheuniversityofMichigan,andlecturesatGrubstreetinBoston.2.2OverviewofEverythingINeverToldYouOnMay3,1977,LydiaLee,middlechildofthree,intheLifamily,suddenlydisappeared.Afewdayslater,herbodywasfoundatthebottomofthelakeafterthelakewasdrained.JamesandMarilyn,Lydia'sparents,wereshockedbyherdaughter'sdeath.Duringthepoliceinvestigation,herparentswereastonishedtofindthatLydiawascompletelyoppositetoimpressionthatshewasongoodtermswithherclassmatesanddidwellineverysubject.Infact,Lydiawasquitealone,andhergradeshadfallensharply.ThelifeexperiencesofparentscausedthedeathofLydia.TheauthorembarksonthereviewofthepastofJamesandMarilyn.James,atalentchildofChineseimmigrantfamilies,aspirestobeauniversityprofessor.In1957,hemetMarilyn,teachingAmericanhistoryatHarvardUniversity.Andduetodifferentskin,hiscolleaguesandneighborsthrowhimaglancethatseemstosuggestitisstrangethataChineselivedandworkedwiththem.Hedidn’tletpeopleknowtheidentityofhisparentsandhardlygetalongwithclassmates.ThesimilarexperiencehasmadehimparticularlylovedbyMarilyn,whichisalsohislifelongburden.Marilyn,James’swife,hatedherhousewifemothersinceshewasachildandlongedtobeadoctor.WhensheknewJames,Marilynfeltthattheracialdiscriminationhesufferedwassameasgenderdiscriminationshesuffered.Asaresult,shehadacloserelationshipwithJames,andthetwowereinlove.Afterdiscoveringthatshewaspregnant,MarilynquicklyarrangedaweddingwithJames.WhenMarilyn'smotherknewJameswasAsian,shetriedtostopherfrommarryingJamesatthewedding.Onhearingthenewsoftheestrangedmother'sdeath,Marilynreturnedtoherchildhoodhometodealwithhermother'saffairs.Marilynrealizedthatshehadbecomethehousewifehermotherwantedhertobe.Hence,Marilynmadeanimportantdecisiontoreturntoschooltocontinueherstudiesandbecomeadoctor.Shortlyafterreturninghome,Marilynabandonedherfamilyandpursuedherstudies,leavingnonotewhensheleft.JamesbelievesthatMarilynwasnolongerwillingtobearthepressurefromtheoutsideworld.ButtheunintendedpregnancyupsetMarilyn'sfuturearrangement.Shewillinglyworkedasahousewifeforeightyears.WhenMarilynreturnedhome,shepinedherhopeonLydia’slifeandbegantoencourageLydiatobecomeadoctor,activelytraininghermathandothersciences.Becomingadoctorandmakingmanyfriends,havebecomeprimarypointsofLydia’slife,butitisnotwhatshewants.TheburdenonLydia’sshouldersbecamemoreandmoreheavy,andshewasgraduallyoutofbreath.Incontrast,Nathseemstobemuchluckier.Althoughhisparents'attentionhasbeenpaidtohissister,andhewasignored,atleasthecoulddowhathewanted.

3EmbodimentofAbsurdityinEverythingINeverToldYouTheauthorWuQishibelievesthattheworldisabsurd,andeveryonesuffersandsuffers.Gradually,peoplelosttheirwayinthejourneyoflife.Similarly,themaincharactersinthenovelalsosufferfromthesurvivalcrisisandracialdiscriminationintheexternalworld.3.1AbnormalPhenomenainSocietyThebackgroundofnovelhappenedinthe1970s,whenTheCivilRightsMovement,TheWomen’sMovementandAsianAmericanMovementhadbegun.ThesupportersofTheCivilRightsMovementassertedthatblackpeopleareentitledtohavethesamerightaswhitepeoplesuchastherighttovote,tohaveanequalaccesstoeducation,IntheWomen’sMovement,well-educatedwhitewomenfrommiddle-classfamilyhadtheopportunitytowork.However,afterWorldWarTwo,plentyofmenreturnedfromthewar,andfoundjobs.Asaresult,therewouldbefewerandfewerchancesforwomentowork.UpholdersintheAsianAmericanMovementdemonstratedthatAsianAmericanswereworthyoftherightsandprivilegesofcitizenshipintheUnitedStates.AfterawaveafterwaveoftheseMovements,genderinequalityandracialdiscriminationstillexistseverywhereinAmerica.TheseparationofChineseAmericanfamiliesfromthemainstreamofAmericansocietyinthe1970sledtotheseparationofthewholeAmericanfamily."Itwas1958;inVirginia,halfacenturylater,theirweddingwouldbreakthelaw.EveninBoston,shesometimessawdissatisfactionintheeyesofpassers-by"(NG,2014:12).Atthattime,Marilynwasawhiteintellectualwoman,whileJameswasasecond-generationChineseAmerican.CrossracialmarriagewasnotallowedinthemainstreamsocietyoftheUnitedStates.Therefore,astheonlyChinesefamilyinmiddlewoodTown,theiryellowskinandethniccharacteristicsmakethema"landscapeofconcern".AlthoughherfatherJamesisarespectableuniversityprofessorwithtenureandhermotherisaHarvardgraduatewoman,thismixedfamilyisstillincompatiblewithAmericansociety.IntheUnitedStates,ChineseAmericansaremonitoredandobservedwheneverandwherevertheygo.However,whenthisconcernisplacedintheethniccontext,itrevealstheunequalrelationshipbetweenthemainstreamandmarginalization,andbringsgreatpressuretothepeopleconcernedasaminorityinthemarginalizedgroups,whichmakesthemdeeplyfeelthattheyhavebeenformlesslyexcludedbythemainstreamculturalcircleoftheUnitedStatesandcannotfullyandharmoniouslyintegrateintothemainstreamsociety.Lydia"evenwithblueeyes,shecan'tpretendtofitin.".That'swhatLydiatoldJack.TheirnaturalblackhairwillonlybecomeanobstacletointegrationintoAmericansociety.Whitepeopleareusedtojudgingandmarkingthemonlybytheirappearance,withoutconsideringtheirinnerthoughts.3.2RacialDiscrimination3.2.1RacialdiscriminationagainstJamesAfterWorldWarII,agrowingnumberofimmigrantscametotheUnitedStatestoformamulti-culturalsociety.Despiteitsreputationofmeltingpot,agreatvarietyofethnicgroupshavenotrealizedsocialequality,unityandharmonyformanyyears.IntheEverythingINeverToldYou,becauseoftheChineseExclusionActintroducedbytheUnitedStatesin1882,theprotagonistoftheinter-ethnicfamily,James,isthedescendantofthepaperson.Underthenameofaneighbor’sson,hisfathercametoCalifornia,whohadimmigratedintoAmericamanyyearsago.Theneighbor’srealsonfellintothewateranddrowned.James’fatherreunitedwiththeneighborinSanFrancisco.In1938,JamescametotheeasternUnitedStateswithhisparentstomakealiving.Sincehischildhood,Jameshaslivedinthelowestclassinsocialladderandhasbeenaccustomedtoenduringbullyinganddiscrimination.AlthoughJamesgrewupintheUnitedStatesandreceivedanativeAmericaneducation,heneverfeltthathebelongedhere.Jamesissoluckythathepassedtheschool'sentrancequalificationexamandbecametheonlyOrientalatLloyd'sCollege.Afterenrollment,hesufferedfromvariousracialdiscrimination.AtLloyd'sCollege,James'motherworkedaskitchenhelperandoftentookhomeleftoversofthemealfromLloyd'scollegethatshewasreluctanttothrowaway;hisfatherwasoftencalledbytheschooltorepairwindows,changebulbs,andcleanthefloor.Inordernottobelookeddownuponanddiscriminatedagainstbyhisclassmates,Jamesfirstlyrejectedthesweetspringrollspreparedbyhisparents,thenstartedtolearntoeathamburgersandsteakslikeotherwhiteclassmates.Secondly,Jamesdoesnotonlydirectlycommunicatewithhisparentsatcollege,butalsorefusedtotalktohisparentsinChineseintheirhouse.AllthathehastriedtodoistomakehimselfforgetaboutChineseafterschool,sothathecouldspeakapureandfluentAmericanEnglish.Inordernottoexposetheillegalimmigrationhistoryofhisparents,henevertalkedabouthisfamilybackgroundinclass.Inthecourseofhisschooling,hedeliberatelyforgotthehomeworkaboutthefamilytree,assignedbytheteacher,ashefearedthatitwouldrevealhisdisgracefulidentityasadescendantofthepaperson.Thissituationhasnoteverchanged,sinceheattendedHarvard.Hestillhadfewacquaintancesandnofriends.Hestillfoundhimselfshiftinginhisseat,asifatanymomentsomeonemightnoticehimandaskhimtoleave.HeworkedhardtoobtainaHarvarddoctoratethroughhisownhardwork.Thankstohisspecialidentity,ChineseAmerican,helosttheopportunitytoteachatHarvardwhenhegraduated.JameshadtoteachatanunremarkableuniversityinOhioandtaughtthelessonaboutCowboyinAmericanCulture.3.2.2RacialdiscriminationoninterracialmarriageMarilynisnotonlydiscriminatedbyherneighbors,butalsosubconsciouslybyhermother.Asanembodimentofthevaluesoftheoldergeneration,Marilyn'smotherhasatraditionalconceptofmarriageandfamily.AfterknowingthatherdaughterwouldmarryaChineseman,Marylin’smothertriedtosuppressheremotionsandsaid:“Thisiswrong,Marilyn,thisiswrong.”Inadvance,MarylinhasthoughtthequestionfromhermotherthatWhydoyoulovehim?Butshedidn'tmentionthewordlove.“You'resure,”shesaid,“thathedoesn'tjustwantagreencard?”Marilynrealized,suddenly,whathermotherwasimagining.Itwas1958,inVirginia,inhalfthecountry,theirweddingwouldbreakthelaw.Inhermarriagewedding,agroupofRadcliffegirls,whocravedforwitnessingtheirweddingwerenottoblessthem,buttoseeifitwastruethatawhiteAmericanwomanmarryaChineseman.InitiallythepoliceinvestigatedLydia’sdeath,theytriedtowipeoutthecasewithsuicide.MarilynthoughtthatifLydiawasawhitegirl,thepolicewouldcontinuetoinvestigate.InordertoknowthecauseofthedeathofhisdaughterLydia,JamesphonedFiske,apoliceman,severaltimestoinquireabouttheinvestigationintomissingLydia.JamesreceivedaresponsefromthewhitepolicemanthatwestillexpectLydiatocomehomebyherself.Fiske’sunderlyingintentionisthatLydiamightloseherselfsomewhere,henceseveraldayslater,shewouldshowup.Inotherwords,thepolicemandidn’tpaymuchmoreattentiontoLydia’sdisappearance.AlthoughLydia’sdeathwasindeednotrelatedtohomicide,MarylinandJames’angeralsosuggeststhatitwasaninsidiousracialdiscriminationthatexistedatthattime.3.3OddityinLydia’sFamilyThegapbetweendreamandrealitygaveMarylinasilentpain,whichplacedaseverestrainonLydia.AsJameshassaid,theirmarriagewasamistakefromthestart.Althoughbothhadwhattheotherwantedmost,theyneversawthrougheachother'sheartsclearly.TheirsonNathandyoungerdaughterHannahinheritedthefather'scomplexion,blackhairandeyes,whichisthetypicalAsiancharacteristics.Thesecharacteristicsnotonlymakethemprominent,heterogeneous,anddifferentinwhitesociety.However,themiddledaughterofJamesandMarilyn,Lydia,inheritedhermother'sblueeyes.Hermixed-racetraitsmadeherbecomeJamesandMarilyn’ssweetheartandfulfilltheirdreamstointegrateintowhitesociety.JamesandMarilynhavepinnedtheirunfulfilledwishesonherdaughterLydiathatherfatherwantshertoblendintomainstreamofsociety,toavoidbeingdifferent,andtobecomeanordinarywhitegirl;buthermotherwantshertobeoutstandingandhaveadifferentlife.Lydiahasloadeddownwiththesecontradictorywishes.Marilyn'squietdeparturefromhomehasbroughtadeathtotheentirefamily.Sincethen,everyonehasbeentremblinglydependentonothers'expectationsforlife,forfearoflosingtheirentirehome.WhenMarylincamehome,shebeganplanninglifeforLydia,arrangedoneafteranotheradvancedcourses,boughtlotsofsciencebooks,andintroducedanewscientificfemalepioneer.Theirpriorityoverlifehasfirmlytransformedfromthemselvesintothemotivationtonurturetheirchildren,andfantasizedLydiaastheirsubstitutetorealizetheirdreams.JamesandMarilynhaveneverconsideredwhetherLydialiketheirarrangementsornot.Theyusetheirownstandardsandwishestoshapetheirchildren.Lydiaeventuallyhasnochoicebuttocommitsuicide.WhatMarilynhasdonetoLydiaislikewhatMarilyn’smotherhaddonetoher.Theoriginalvictimhadunknowinglybecomeamurderer,whereitisundoubtedlythemostabsurdintheentirenovel.

4Lydia’sSelf-awarenessProcessAsagirlinaChineseAmericanmixedracefamily,Lydia'spursuitofself-identityisverydifferentfromthatofordinarychildrenintheconstructionofculturalidentityandgenderidentity.ThisistheuniquenessofthegrowththemeinEverythingINeverToldYou.4.1GrowingConfusion4.1.1ConfusionoftwodifferentculturesAsamemberofthemulti-ethnicfamilyofChineseAmericans,LydiaisneitherapureChineseAmericanacceptabletoOrientalculturenorapurewhiteAmericanacceptabletoAmericanmainstreamculture.Onthecontrary,Lydiahasbeenfarawayfromtheedgeoftwodifferentcultures,sosheisveryconfusedaboutthisdynamicculturalidentity.Lydia'sappearancecombinesthecharacteristicsofEastandWest,whichisthemainreasonforherconfusionbetweeneasternandWesterncultures.Lydiainheritedhisfather'sstraightandblackhair,whichrepresentedtheEast."It'sjustthatthecolorofherhairisdifferent.Lydia'sdarkblackisnottheirmother'sgoldenhair"(NG,2014